Your Pelvic Floor, Orgasms, and Sexual Satisfaction Part 1

Some of the most ignored and under researched topics are sexual health, pleasure and orgasms! Do you struggle to reach orgasm, have pain with/after them, or just barely orgasm at all? Or do you just love sex education and learning more about pleasure? Then, this one's for you! I’ll be discussing what your pelvic floor muscles have to do with your orgasms! We’re spicing things up today as I uncover the crucial ingredients needed for reaching orgasm, sexual satisfaction and supporting your pelvic floor fitness. We can overcome the struggle to climax and discover for ourselves how to achieve the big O! Let’s get into it…

In this episode, you’ll be able to

• Learn the link between a healthy pelvic floor and heightened sexual gratification.
• Grasp the influence of emotional stability on sexual enjoyment and orgasms.
• Appreciate the role blood flow plays in orgasms and overall pelvic health.
• Recognize the importance of clitoral stimulation and anatomy for achieving orgasms.
• Identify the value of pelvic floor muscle relaxation and diaphragmatic breathing exercises for enhancing pleasure and access to orgasms 
  
  

The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:00 - Gratitude for Listeners,
00:01:24 - Ingredients needed to make an Orgasm,
00:03:08 - Medications, Mental Health and Sexual Satisfaction,
00:06:07 - Clitoral Stimulation and Orgasms,
00:10:36 - Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Orgasms,
00:14:02 - My monthly commitment to myself and my community,
00:15:22 - Consistency and Vaginismus,
00:16:08 - Upcoming BREATHWORK Vag Stretch Lab,
00:16:47 - Next Week's Episode for Part 2, 

My upcoming virtual BREATHWORK Vag Stretch Lab on July 2nd for tight pelvic floor muscles, anxiety, poor breathing habits and poor body image 

https://www.vaginarehabdoctor.com/diaphragmatic-breathing-vag-stretch-lab/

To sign up for our 8 Week Pain Free Sex Program, schedule a call with me to make sure we’re a fit & get you onboarded! It’s time for you to be free, fearless & experiencing buttery sex!

Click here to book your call with me today: https://www.vaginarehabdoctor.com/our-services/

Join our private Vaginismus Strategy & Support Group on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/groups/274014645123366/

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Leave a 5 star review if you are learning from and loving this podcast!

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Produced by Light On Creative Productions

Transcript

00:00:00

Welcome back to another episode of the Vagina Rehab Doctor podcast. I just want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has showed up for this podcast so far. You guys have been leaving reviews. You guys have been rating five stars.

00:00:15

And you guys have just been telling me that you appreciate the content. It really does make my day when you guys send me those messages and you're letting me know that this information is needed. So thank you so much for listening and for being here today. If you have not yet subscribed, why not? Why not?

00:00:33

You're coming to listen. Go ahead and subscribe, follow the show and rate me five stars to help these messages of pelvic health, sexual wellness and vaginal health get to all the world. That's the goal that everyone will know about their pelvic floor and their vaginal health. So let's get into it today. Today we're going to be talking about orgasms, your pelvic floor, and sexual satisfaction.

00:00:59

So I need you to know this, that our orgasms don't just happen. It's actually something that is created. And whenever we're creating something, whenever we're making something, we need ingredients. Now, if someone told me that they wanted to bake me a cake from scratch, I would be like, oh wow. Because I know what's going to have to go into the making of the cake.

00:01:24

And I'm using this as an example. If you're making a cake, you're not going to be able to make it without flour. You're not going to be able to make it without sugar or some sweetener of some sort. You're not going to be able to make it without oil. So you need certain ingredients in order to get to that finishing product.

00:01:41

And so when we're talking about orgasms, this is the finishing product of so many different ingredients that have to go into the bowl. Okay, let's act like the orgasm is the cake that we're tasting that tastes so good and it's so satisfying and it just makes us go, this tastes so good. Orgasms is something that happens when several ingredients are added. Now one of the ingredients is simply your emotional health. And so if you're extremely stressed, you're having a difficult time managing your emotions, it may be difficult for you to just feel pleasure on that day, right?

00:02:19

You may be going through the act whether that is oral sex, whether that is penetrative sex, whether that is self pleasure, and you're not feeling as aroused, right? So people who are struggling with depression and anxiety may have a harder time reaching the orgasm because of their emotional health. But then also sometimes medications can make it a little bit more difficult to reach an orgasm. So I hear this quite a bit from my clients who have started medications for anxiety or depression, and they notice that it's more difficult to reach that orgasm. So in this case, you can talk to your provider who has prescribed those medications for your mental health and ask them, is there a different dosage?

00:03:08

Is there a different medication that is not as associated with difficulty with orgasm or difficulty with sex? Drive? And see what you can do there. Other times it's a matter of spending a little bit more effort, like a little bit more time with foreplay. Maybe you might need to introduce a sex toy.

00:03:24

Sometimes just making a few changes can also support your orgasms and your overall sexual satisfaction. So your emotional health for the most part is going to contribute. If you're mad and angry and you just found out something terrible happened to someone you love, okay, so you're not going to be achieving the best orgasm of your life during this time. So we've talked about the emotional health. The next thing that's really important to consider is that for the body to create an orgasm, we need blood flow.

00:03:55

That is super important. That is very important because the clitoris, the vagina, even the uterus, is contracting to help you reach that orgasm. The clitoris is not necessarily contracting, but the pelvic floor muscles that attach onto the clitoris are contracting. So those muscles are requiring way more blood to create this firework. So when you go to the gym and you're running on the treadmill, or when you go to the gym and you're lifting weights, you're doing your squats, you're doing your deadlifts, you're doing your lunges, and you have those weights in your hands, your muscles, the muscles in your legs and your butt are requiring more blood to carry out that activity.

00:04:36

It requires more fuel. It requires more oxygen. And so the same thing is happening when we're having intercourse. Those muscles require blood and the blood is nourishing. It's like feeding the muscles.

00:04:50

The blood carries all the nutrients to the different parts of the body to send the vitamins, the oxygen, all of the things that really help to keep our muscles and our issues functioning well. So let's say you're in the backseat of that car because I know some of you who are listening are young and you're living your best life in the backseat of the car. I don't know, no judgment here. So let's say you're in the backseat of the car or you could be married with a full on house and you just want to act like you were 19 again. So you all are in the backseat of the car.

00:05:20

You all are making out. You all got a lot of room in that backseat because you got an SUV now. And so you're in the backseat of the car and let's say you're having intercourse and it's feeling amazing. You're like, oh my gosh, this feels great. The windows are fogging up.

00:05:37

And as you're approaching that orgasm, if penetration is helping you to get there because listen, penetration, it is not the primary way that women reach orgasm. It is not the primary way that anyone with a vagina reaches an orgasm. If you have a vagina, something going in and out of that vagina is likely not what's going to help you get there. And this is why. Because your clitoris, the most sensitive part of the clitoris is on the outside of the body.

00:06:07

It is not inside. The head of the clitoris is on the outside of the body. So we need stimulation to that part of the clitoris. The little nub, that little beam above the urethra, the p hole that is your clitoris. And that is typically what needs stimulation to help you reach an orgasm.

00:06:26

Whether that is manual stimulation, you're just using your hand. Whether that is you're receiving body stimulation, right? Body onto body, body to body is stimulating the clitoris. This is why a lot of people in cowgirl can reach an orgasm because they're able to rub their body against the body of that next person. The clitoris is being stimulated, whether it's a sex toy.

00:06:47

So there are so many different ways in which the clitoris can be stimulated. But something going in and out of the vagina for most people. 80% of us are not going to reach orgasm from penetrative sex. So let's say that you're that unicorn and you're in the backseat and y'all are having a good time with the tea and you're getting close to that orgasm. Now, your muscles, your pelvic floor muscles are helping to pump blood to your clitoris.

00:07:14

Your pelvic floor muscles, we have superficial ones and we have deep pelvic floor muscles that actually support our pelvic organs. Those muscles are actually contracting. It's like a throbbing feeling that you might be sensing. And every time those muscles are contracting, they're pushing blood to your clitoris. There is one muscle specifically that helps tremendously with this.

00:07:34

That is your Bulbo cavernosis and that contracts on top of the clitoral shaft. So that helps to keep the blood inside of the clitoris because there's a vein that takes blood away. So veins are different from arteries. And we have a primary clitoral vein that's taking blood away from the clitoris. But when we're having sex, when we're having sexual activity, we want the blood to stay in our clitoris so that we get this clitoral erection.

00:08:02

So that the clitoris gets hard. The nerves are going to become more sensitive. That's going to enable us to experience more pleasure and it's going to enable us to get closer to that orgasm. And so the pelvic floor is responsible for clamping down on that vein so that the blood stays in. So you can stay hard.

00:08:21

Yes. Yes. We get hard too. We do. Women and people with vaginas get hard.

00:08:29

I have to have that pause in there because we're out here thinking that the only person that needs an erection are people with penises men. No. We do too. And it's very important. And I wish that at some point when we go to our gynecological appointments, when we go to our public exams, that they start asking us about our clitoris.

00:08:48

Do you have pain on your clitoris? Does your clitoris get erect when you're sexually aroused? Does the hood of the clitoris retract? Are you able to actually move the hood back so that the head of the clitoris can be clearly seen? Is the clitoris still there?

00:09:02

Sometimes it atrophies and that is a topic for a different episode. We're going to talk about clitoral atrophy on a different episode. But listen, the pelvic floor muscles are super important for our pleasure and so they're contracting to help keep the blood inside of the clitoris. And then it gets to a point where your clitoris is so filled with blood and everything is feeling so good and you're being stimulating in the right ways and then bam. It's like fireworks are going off.

00:09:26

Your pelvic floor muscles are contracting, your body might be shaking and you just feel like this explosion of pleasure. Now pause. It may not be that outrageous. Every time I would hold space for the orgasms that are like very soft, they're like the vanilla orgasms. And then on certain days you have those cayenne, the hot pepper orgasms, whereas pal, that is our body, right?

00:09:47

Depending on your stress level, depending on how lubricated you are, things might change. But overall the orgasm should feel satisfying. And while the orgasm is happening, it is your pelvic floor that is contracting to make that orgasm happen. So this is what I came to tell you. If your pelvic floor the muscles that enable you to not pee on yourself.

00:10:08

The muscles that enable you to have a bowel movement without straining and having pain. If those muscles are too tight, your pelvic floor muscles if those muscles are stiff. If those muscles are weak, extremely weak, then it will be difficult for the pelvic floor to initiate that rhythmic contraction. Sometimes the pelvic floor is so tight that it barely contracts at all. It's just little flickers because we've been told for so long that we have to kegel and keep it tight.

00:10:36

Kegels are not bad, but they can be bad for someone who is already too tense. And let me just tell you that a lot of people are holding tension. You may be struggling with a lot of anxiety, you may be struggling with a lot of stress, you may be in a relationship where it's toxic, you don't even feel safe. So your body is in a state of protection, it's trying to protect you. So it's tightening up and guarding.

00:10:56

There's so many different causes of pelvic floor muscle tightness. So if the pelvic floor is already too tight at rest, it has a very little place to go when it is time to contract, because it's already contracted. So it's having a difficult time contracting. And then if the muscles are really weak, let's say that the muscles are not too tight, but they're weak, very weak. Or let's say the vagina is loose or lax.

00:11:16

Medical term for that is laxity. Then the contractions may feel insignificant to where you reach the orgasm, but it feels loud. That felt very disappointing. This can happen for tight pelvic floor muscles and weak or loose muscles. So if you're having difficulty with pain pelvic pain, you have a difficult time emptying out your bladder.

00:11:40

You have to push your urine out. Or let's say that you always have to go pee. Like, every 45 minutes, you got to go pee. Or every time you leave the house, you got to go pee. Every time you get to the mall or you get to a new place, you got to go pee.

00:11:52

You're always looking for a bathroom. These are signs that you may be struggling with pelvic floor muscle dysfunction. And if you're also struggling with difficulty reaching an orgasm pain with orgasms pain after an orgasm. This is a sign your pelvic floor is talking to you, baby. Your pelvic floor is like, hey, what's your name?

00:12:12

Come talk to me. I want to spend a little time with you. This is a sign that you may need to start nurturing your pelvic floor, okay? Nurturing your pelvic floor can look so different. It may look like literally taking some time to breathe, taking time to relax.

00:12:27

Diaphragmatic breathing can help relax your pelvic floor. It may look like spending time doing pelvic floor muscle relaxation exercises that open your pelvis, enabling you to feel more pleasure and feel more relaxed during the day, enabling you to feel less anxiety, enabling you to have a bowel movement without straining your life away. These are some things that you can do to start nourishing your pelvic floor. We already know that seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist is like the gold standard, but everyone cannot. You may live in an area where there is no pelvic floor physical therapist.

00:13:00

And don't worry. It's okay. It is okay. Because ideally, it's not just about seeing a Pelic floor physical therapist. It's about seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist that can actually help you.

00:13:12

So not every pelvic floor physical therapist is made equally. And so just because you go see one, it's some of you listening right now who have already seen a pelvic floor physical therapist. And the experience was not the greatest for many of you. It was great. And that just warms my heart because I'm happy.

00:13:30

I'm happy for you because pleasure is your birthright. The birds and the bees have access to pleasure. So I need you to know that you're not broken if you cannot reach an orgasm, if you have to clench your whole body super duper tight just to get there, that is not a sign that you're broken. That is just possibly a sign that you've built a habit around doing that or that your pelvic floor may be too tight, it may be weak, you may be holding pain in your pelvic floor, and that needs to be worked on. I want to invite you to know that every first Sunday of each month, I do a vast stretch lab.

00:14:02

I committed to this at the beginning of this year. I said I'm going to show up for anyone who wants to be in this space with me and prioritize their pelvic health. We've gone through so much as women and as people with vaginas. And I'm saying people with vaginas because I respect it. If you don't want to identify as a woman, I am not here to try and change your mind.

00:14:21

I'm not going to sit here arguing with you about that. This is the Vagina Rehab doctor podcast. So if you have a vagina, I'm talking to you especially, and I'm talking to anyone who wants to learn you don't have to have a vagina. Listen, we've been through a lot as a group of people responsible for caring for the portal of humanity. The rates of abuse, the rates of domestic violence, the rates of medical abuse.

00:14:42

Our doctor is not even listening to us having traumatic situations when we go see our doctors, we've been through so much and our bodies hold it. Our bodies hold that pain, our bodies hold that tension. So I committed at the first part of the year to doing VAT stretch labs where I spend 1 hour with you at an affordable rate, where I don't want you to come out your pocket paying hundreds of dollars to see me and work with me. I want just about anyone to feel like they can access my vast stretch labs. And in these classes, I've been feeling so fulfilled in this work because I get messages from you guys all the time where it's like I went to the in the Mood Vast stretch lab Janelle, and I'm not peeing my pants anymore.

00:15:22

I got a message from someone with vaginismus. She used to have it. She came to so many vast stretch labs and she's, I don't have vaginismus anymore. I'm having intercourse with my husband. And now I want to know what are the best sex toys?

00:15:35

She went from not even being able to get the penis in the vagina. She couldn't get the P and the V. She started coming to my vast stretch labs. In addition, she did get my E guy vaginismus to vagilisious. She got that E guy and she kept coming to the Vast stretch labs the first Sunday of each month.

00:15:50

And she told me that after a couple of months, her vaginismus was gone. She could not afford to go see a pelvic floor physical therapist. Now she's in my DMs asking me what's the best sex toy? Because she just wants to spice up her sex life. It's so many people who have been helped from these VAT stretch labs and it's the consistency.

00:16:08

Y'all, consistency is your secret sauce. And consistency for you may look like one or two times a week doing some exercises. Consistency for you may look like diaphragmatic breathing for five minutes a day. You get to determine what consistency looks like for you. But I want to encourage you to prioritize your pleasure, prioritize your pelvic health, and know that you are not broken.

00:16:27

There is help and I am here for you. And I can't wait for you to keep coming back to these podcast episodes. I'm going to drop the link in the show notes for my next VAT Stretch Lab. It's called breathwork and bathing suits y'all. We're going to be showing up to this VAT Stretch Lab to calm our bodies, to relax our pelvic floors, and to have a greater access to pleasure that's my breath work in bathing suits.

00:16:47

Mass Stretch Lab come in your bathing suit, your bikini or your swimsuit, one piece, whatever you feel like. Because we're going to be promoting body positivity. We're going to be embracing our bodies while we're practicing and mastering diaphragmatic breathing, y'all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode all about pelvic, floor muscles, orgasms, and your sexual satisfaction. We're going to continue this conversation because there's a little bit more that I want to talk to you about.

00:17:11

So make sure you come back next week for part two. Thank you so much for listening. Make sure that you rate this podcast five stars and subscribe. I'll talk to you later and I'll see you next week.