Practical Tips for Feeling Whole Again with Jay Fields

Are you stuck in a cycle of burnout, constantly overwhelmed by external demands, and disconnected from your true self? Join us today and discover how to leverage the power of your body to regain balance, resilience, and authenticity in today's fast-paced world.

In this episode, I sit down with Jay Moon Fields, M.A., a somatic coach and educator, to explore the profound ways in which we can reconnect with our bodies in a world that increasingly pulls us into a state of constant mental overdrive. 

Jay Fields, M.A. is a leading educator, coach and author. Over a half million people have taken her courses, and her book Teaching People Not Poses has sold over ten thousand copies and is used by yoga teacher training programs globally. For over twenty years, she has taught the principles and practices of embodied social and emotional intelligence to individuals and groups.

She received her BA in Psychosocial Health and Human Movement from the College of William and Mary and her master's in Integral Transformative Education from Prescott College.

Jay shares her insights on how technology, societal expectations, and a 24-hour culture have severed our connection to the wisdom of our bodies, leading to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of being disconnected.

Together, we dive into practical strategies for grounding ourselves, harnessing the power of "felt resources," and facing the uncomfortable emotions we've been avoiding. Whether you're new to the concept of somatic coaching or looking for actionable steps to break free from the burnout cycle, this episode is packed with valuable takeaways to help you reclaim your body's innate intelligence and live more fully.

In this Episode:

• The impact of pervasive technology and the 24-hour cycle on our connection to our bodies.
• How the brain prioritizes external stimuli over internal sensations, and the consequences of this disconnect.
• The role of "felt resources" in creating layers of experience that help us manage overwhelming emotions.
• Practical, micro-moment techniques to reconnect with your body throughout the day.
• The power of acknowledging your emotions with phrases like "I don't want to feel this" and "Of course I feel this way."
• How to begin facing deeper emotional and physical discomforts that you've been avoiding.

Connect with Jay:
Her website: https://jaymoonfields.com/

Resources:

Couples Goal Setting Workbook
Complimentary Relationship Assessment

Couples Goal Setting Workbook

Level 10 Relationship Assessment

Follow Katie Rössler on Instagram

Check out the podcast website

Transcript

Welcome back to the podcast today. I'm really excited to bring you Jay Fields. We're going to be discussing what has happened in this burnout culture, in this online world where we're starting to become more and more disconnected from our true selves, our bodies, what matters. 

Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day to day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Ressler, and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code.

Jay, thank you for being here.

I am, I'm just ready to dive into this. So I'm going to first have you introduce yourself and share a little bit more about who you are. What you do, who you serve and where you are in the world. And then let's just like jump in full on. All right, here we go. Thank you for having me. It's lovely to be here.

I know we've been talking about this for a while, so I'm happy it's happening. And I let's say, okay, so I'm Jay Fields and I live in California [00:01:00] and I am a somatic coach and an educator. And. Somatic is sometimes a new word for people. It comes from the Greek word soma, which means of the body. And so my whole background and all the different work I've done is experiential and embodied.

And currently I, work with individuals and couples and organizations, and I teach the principles and practices. Um, basically it's how do you leverage the intelligence of your body and in particular your nervous system in order to be able to show up in a way that you're As yourself and be more trustworthy to yourself and others.

That's beautiful and important work, especially like I just said right now, when we're so disconnected from our true selves, we're so in the space of in our minds. And the monkey brain is what I like to call it. People like say being in a hamster wheel or chicken with their head cut off, whatever [00:02:00] analogy you want to use.

But we're so up here and we've lost sight of the deeper connection. Let's start off with what are you noticing of the trends over the last 10 years? I think everybody always wants to talk about the last four years, but I think it's been more than four years that we're having issues. Really the last 10, 10 to 15 years.

What are you noticing? Is the trend in people and the connection to their body? Well, I think people have lacked a connection to their body for a long time. Um, but in the last 10 years in particular, the pervasive technology does not help the smartphone use, computer, there's just, Everywhere is technology that will like really pulls us out of, I was going to say reality and then I was like, no, I was like, no reality because there's a way that when you're looking at a screen, it feels like the only thing to engage with is what's on that screen and you forget there's a body in a room with things going on around you that, can either be, resources for you or trip you [00:03:00] up if you're not being able to pay attention.

The other thing that I see, and this is linked to the technology, is the, the 24 hour everything cycle, which is, you know, the 24 hour news cycle, right, so you're just constantly being bombarded, 24 hour cycle of, technology, you know, like, you're 8 hours ahead of me, so if you send me a text, not that you do this, but if you send me a text that, Early in the morning for you, it's coming in in the middle of night when I'm sleeping and, you know, most people have that turned off at this point, but to wake up to 15 work related texts, or to be just on that, the constant cycle where companies expect because you can be reached at any time of the day.

And because you're in a global market, many of us are, when do you say, these are my hours of work that are over? So I think those. In particular, like the technology in the 24 hour cycle that's linked to technology is really keeping us outside of our [00:04:00] bodies and more kind of linked to this Almost like an ephemeral world, like out, out here, you know, in, in places that we can't touch, but are, impacting our, every moment.

You, kind of, reference to something that I remember we've talked about before. The concept of our brains of we're constantly in meetings online or doing things online and we see ourselves in like a 2D form. Yeah. And we see others in the 2D form, and yet we are, you know, touch ourselves, Hey, wait, we're in the 3D form.

But how, is this impacting our minds and how we are able to relate in our world? Well, you know, it's kind of hooking into some of our biology that's already, deeply imprinted in us, which is to say, you know, our, brains taking information about what's going on outside of us. It's faster and louder for lack of a better way of saying it, then it takes in information about what's going on inside of us.

So I walk into a meeting and I'm much [00:05:00] more aware of the facial expressions of the people in there. I'm aware of kind of like, what are the dynamics that are happening? I'm aware of how loud people are talking because all of those things are related to, am I safe? Right. Our nervous systems are taking in this information.

Unconsciously for us to be able to to play around with. Am I safe? The fact that On the inside, maybe I'm hungry. Maybe I'm sad. Um, maybe I'm, kind of preoccupied with a conversation that I had with someone earlier that day, that kind of thing is also happening all the time. But because the, message it sends us is, is quieter and, slower, we don't.

actively engage with it. So it becomes this thing that, using my hands here a lot for people who are listening to this, it's like this underlying, information that is constantly informing us, but we're not actually getting it consciously. So it's, turning into, [00:06:00] this is where I think a lot of the like burnout sort of behavior comes from because there's this sense of overwhelm with lots of stimulation from the outside and lots of things you have to attend to, but without the, feeling connected to the ability to create wholeness or healing, or just even attend to I'm hungry, I'm sad, I'm distracted.

Like, it's happening, but you don't really know it's happening, so there's this kind of sense of, I just feel overwhelmed, I feel distracted, I feel short tempered, I feel, um, low energy, I feel foggy, I feel, like, the word that wanted to come to mind is like, watery. Like, I'm not solid. I can't, show up and have conviction in something.

I don't know if I, I feel like I went off on a tangent. I don't know if I answered your question. So reign me in. That's okay. No, as you were talking and dear listeners, this is how Jay and I will talk. So just here, we're going to be like, but as you're talking, what came to mind is like, you can't build resilience within yourself or find the resilient [00:07:00] resilience that's already there.

If you're not connected with your body. And you were talking about all the stuff that's external. That's causing the burnout. Well, to, get through burnout, we need to engage our resiliency. Again, we need to engage that internal strength and confidence of boundaries, simplification, you know, taking care of the basics, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, basically.

Right. But if we're not connected to our bodies, it's almost like setting ourselves up for failure. Absolutely. We're just, you're going to stay in the burnout culture. You're going to stay in this cycle. If you don't stop and go, let me listen to that quiet voice. Let me listen to the slower, simpler communication that's happening inside of me.

Yeah. And I'm listening to you. I'm like, Oh, all that sounds good. But I'm also thinking of some of the listeners who were like, yeah, but how do I do that? Right. Because It sounds good, but there are real reasons other than the fact that our brains are hardwired to pay more [00:08:00] attention to things going on outside of us.

There are real reasons why we aren't in our bodies, right? There's chronic pain. There's I'm uncomfortable in the way my body feels or looks in my clothing. And so I don't want to, I don't want to be present in it, right? Body image stuff. There's um, There's emotions that live here. If I'm going to feel what's happening in my body, I might find out that I'm really sad and I don't, I don't know what to do with that.

So I'm just not going there. And, so the thing that I really like about teaching about embodiment is that it's, like the, very place that feels the scariest is also the place that has the resources for you. You just have to trust it enough to put your toe in the water and see, what I'm talking about is something called felt resources and felt resources are, ways that we can connect with our body that are either pleasant or neutral so that we don't feel like every time we make a connection with our body.

There's an ouch or an ew or an ick. I'm out [00:09:00] because that's because we don't have training and how to be in our bodies. Most of the time. Or much of the time that we connect to our bodies, it's unpleasant. So a thought resource, I don't know if you've seen this, I like, I have a little smooth stone in my hand.

And oftentimes when I do interviews or read, podcasts, I hold as a stone in my hand and it's, under my desk. You don't know what I'm doing it, but it's something that's pleasant to me when I, feel it, the smoothness of it, the solidness of it, the weight of it. so this can be a felt resource in the sense of when I become aware of how the stone feels in my hands.

It's pleasant, which means that if I have also an awareness that, like, my stomach is turning because I'm nervous or there's a, weight in my throat because I'm, sad and I feel like the tears are just right there, then, um, I have multiple layers of my experience. It's true that my stomach is turning.

I'm nervous. It's also true that there's a pleasant sensation [00:10:00] in my hands. And so what that does is it tells my brain this isn't all bad. Meaning if the only information I get from my body is my stomach is turning and I feel nervous, My nervous system is going to say red alert, red alert. We got to get out of here, which is going to put me back into hyper vigilance or thinking or strategizing, or, you know, all the things we do to get out of feeling that, but if my brain gets two messages or my nervous system, get two messages that, okay, there's some churning in my stomach, but there's also some pleasantness here.

it doesn't put me into that fight, flight, freeze kind of, armoring right away. Does that make sense? Yes, definitely. It's so funny because I have my stone here too. So I'm like, yep, always with me every time just to, and to ground me. I'm here in this moment right here, right? I'm here in this moment right here.

And I love the fact that it's that and emotion or the and experience. You can have anxiety, fear, worry, stress, and anxiety. Yeah. Feel a sense of [00:11:00] pleasantness of calm, of relaxation in some part of your body. And I think it's a little bit like meditation. You know, people think I'm not good at meditation because I'm thinking all the time.

Like, of course you are right. People think I'm not good at being embodied because I feel uncomfortable things. Of course you do. You're in a body. the thing is to like, get your, mind around. It isn't about having calm equanimity all the time. It's about, can I create layers of my experience that hold these other parts that feel hard to hold.

and that's the felt resources. And, you know, we talked about, we both have stones, but you also just rubbed your fingers together. You could rub your fingers together. You could pat your leg. one of the other felt resources I like using all the time is like feeling my butt in the chair or feeling my feet on the ground.

Another one is looking around the room you're in. Again, we talk about how much we look at screens and technology, just to take your eyes off a screen and look [00:12:00] around the room and find a color that's pleasant to you, or an object that's pleasant to you, or an object that creates a sense of warmth. Like, Oh, there's a picture of my husband and I over there on our wedding day.

That makes me feel good when I look at it. and like, actually. Taking these little five second breaks to look at something and let it have a resonance in you. That's a felt resource too. Like micro moments. Yeah, it doesn't take 20 minutes. Yeah, absolutely practical to, to do because often we think, uh, to de stress during the day, I really need to like step away for 15 40 minutes.

And what you're saying is like, this is a matter of seconds. It absolutely can be. Yeah. shaking, you know, just your hands out or a big rat, like all these little things that if you, if you remembered you had a body, you would do like, making sound. know my mom, for example, she's a hummer. She hums when she's doing things and humming is a way to help to regulate your nervous system.

Or when I have a really [00:13:00] stressful thing happen, I'll often go. Yeah, the lip trill, that's another way. It seems silly, but it is actually something that helps stimulate your vagus nerve in your, in your face and neck, which helps to regulate your nervous system, which helps to bring down that sense of overwhelm or that sense of disconnect.

and, and little like one notch is, better than none. You mentioned the fact that often the reason why we don't want to connect with our body is because of the unsafe, the emotion, the things that are like connected basically to our body, right? We're like, I don't want to feel this, so I'm going to stay disconnected.

But you also said Sometimes in basically in the darkness is where the light is going to show up. So you have to go in there. What are some, some tips you have for people who are listening who go, okay, I can start to put like a stone near my desk or have a picture of some things that will help me have those, you know, micro moments and really feel [00:14:00] into things.

But if I'm, going like, okay, I can tell I avoided a lot and I need to probably start to face. What is it? Am I not happy with my body? Am I not happy with the emotions I've been holding on to and trying to hide? What are the next steps? You would say, okay, if you get comfortable with these micro moments, here's the next thing to do.

Great question. If you're, doing those micro moments of kind of reconnect with yourself in an embodied way, you will absolutely run into emotions. And I think this is the thing that people go, okay, what do I do now? Because the moment they run into an emotion, it's like. Right back to what they were doing.

They might have the practice of the micro moments, but they don't then know what to do. So one thing I tell people all the time is it's in order to, you know, we, we, think about our emotions, usually instead of feeling them. And. The, the beginning place to feeling them is being able to say yourself that you don't want to feel them.

And the reason being is if [00:15:00] I'm doing one of those micro moments and, you know, I take a break to, um, just kind of rub my hands together in between a client. Um, and I realized in that reconnecting with myself, I'm really scared or I'm let's we'll stick with scared. I'm scared about something. I'm scared.

My next client isn't going to go well. and it, feels tight in my chest and I get kind of cold that like kind of clammy cold feeling and it's unpleasant. I can, either try and feel the fear, which for a lot of people is really hard stuff to go into, or I can just say, I don't want to feel this.

And if I say, I don't want to feel this, I'm actually matching up with the feeling I'm having because what the first feeling I had was fear, but it lasted for like two seconds before what I was really feeling was no, I don't want this. And there's this magic that happens when you can in one of those micro moments connecting to yourself.

If what you're feeling is, I don't want to feel this, then say it to yourself. Thanks. And [00:16:00] like the magic is that you match up with your embodied reality in a moment and that matching helps your nervous system to regulate and helps your emotions to be more regulated. It's the whole thing that Dan Siegel talks about in his work called naming it to attainment.

You know, so if you can say I'm sad or I'm scared or I'm happy, that's great. But it still works. Naming entertainment works if you say, I don't want to feel this. Mm hmm. And that's the thing that most people don't think they get to do. Like, right. They're like, I shouldn't say, you know, I shouldn't say the not just, yes, you can say, I don't want to be scared.

I don't want to feel anxious because it's, it's accepting and acknowledging it's there. And I just don't want to feel it. Right. And you were at least in that moment in your own reality. And, you know, because a lot of, the way that we think of not being embodied is like self [00:17:00] abandonment. Yeah.

It's, I'm going to be there for everyone else. I'm going to attend to everything else. And if I get to be alone and private in a space where no one else needs me, then maybe I'll pay attention to me and tend to me. But by then, you're so worn out and exhausted and you're so, like anxious that I can't, I can't unwind.

I can't unravel because there's only 20 more minutes until the kids get home from school. It's only 20 more minutes till I have to go into a meeting. And there's just this sense of like, when is there ever time for you? Right. When will there ever be time to actually feel the things? I'm finding more and more clients coming to me years later after a major loss or challenge or transition that they never grieved.

And they're like, I always just thought like, you know, once I got through that project or once we moved or once this thing happened, then I would have that time. And I just realized. There is never going to be time unless I make the time for it. Unless I create the time for it. Yes. That's that [00:18:00] mind game. I don't want to feel it.

I'll wait till there's a better time. I'll wait till there's a better time. There won't be. There won't be. And so that reminds me of the second great thing for once you started practicing those little micro breaks of feeling, trying to connect with your body, the other thing you can say to yourself, that's the shortcut to, Of self empathy and self love is, of course I feel this way.

And this comes from, the work of I just totally blanked on her name. Um, this is the part I'll have you We'll edit this out. What's her name? Um, because I want to definitely say her name. Shoot, I'm sorry. You're okay. Your resonant self is the name of the book. And I'm totally blanking on her name. I'll find it for you real quick, hold on.

I know, I'm sorry, because I want to What is her name? I reorganized my bookshelf over there so it's not in a place I normally have it.

Sorry, Katie. Sarah Payton? Thank you! Okay, cool. I'll go back to That reminds me of another thing we can do when you get to these moments where you're kind of touching in with yourself and your embodied experience and what do you do with it. And there's a really great shortcut to self empathy and self love.

It comes from the work of Sarah Peyton and she wrote a great book called Your Resonant Self. And she talks about using the words, of course, as in, of course, I feel this way. So on one hand, you've got the, I don't want to feel this way, which is if you are really feeling resistant. That's your truth. Go with it.

If you're actually able to identify a way that you feel like sadness, of course I feel sad. This is sad. Cause I don't know if you find this with your clients, but when I talk with clients, if I say to them, they, they share something with me and I go, oh, that's really [00:19:00] sad. It's like they go, oh yeah, I guess so.

Yep. Like, so if you can say to yourself, of course you're angry, that really wasn't okay with you. Of course you're sad. That is a sad scenario. Of course you're happy. That's wonderful. It's like making, yourself make sense to you. Which is, again, something that our brains really, really like, and that help our nervous systems regulate.

Because every time that you say to yourself, don't feel sad, you shouldn't feel sad, there's no time to feel sad, what's wrong with you that you feel sad, or whatever the emotion is. You are making your experience, not make sense to you. It's like telling a kid, stop crying. And they're thinking, this is awful.

Why would I stop crying? Okay. I guess you think this isn't awful. So it must not be awful. But then what that tells that kid is your emotions are weird. And so [00:20:00] we're constantly telling ourselves as grownups, your emotions are weird. If you don't just put your hand on your chest and say, of course you feel that way.

You don't have to like it, but you can make it make sense. And this is the way we would talk to our friends. You know, this is the, the kindness, compassion, grace, love we would give to our friend, even a coworker, like, Oh, of course you would feel even, I was just thinking as you're talking, like the feeling of imposter syndrome, right?

That anxiety of I'm not enough. I'm a beginner. I'm new. They'll find me out. And it's like, Of course, you're going to feel that way. Of course, this is like, it is new. Oh my gosh, of course. And I would say that to a friend, but to then say it to yourself as well. It's like, Oh God, that is so hard. I mean, you can feel it.

Like just imagining saying that to yourself. It's like this quieting, this balm. That's like, Oh, it doesn't make it go away and it doesn't make it. So you like it, but it certainly turns it down and it brings you back to [00:21:00] feeling resourced. Yeah. It brings you back to feeling like, Oh, I'm someone who's going to be kind to myself because so much of the time when people are, scared of doing something like scared of taking the next step in work or scared of going, deeper into a committed relationship, it's not that there's so much scared of what's there.

That the other person is going to do it's they're scared how crappy they're going to be to themselves in their own head about it If it doesn't go the way they want it to so if you can change that relationship and just two words Of course and stop being crappy to yourself about how you feel that It literally starts to, like, heal the internal synapses of, your brain and how you think about yourself and how you talk to yourself.

Yes. It is that healing balm that we all crave in those moments. I am starting to have some realizations, I'm going to boldly say this, and I might come back another [00:22:00] podcast and be like, that was wrong, but it's okay. I am starting to believe that the burnout. Kind of cycle. So many of us are in the burnout culture is one that we are unconsciously subconsciously, however you want to put it, choosing because it, is keeping us in the state of disconnect from our body, disconnect from having to feel disconnect from the things that are, important to us.

That need to shift the uncomfortables that need to shift. And it's so much easier to look at the busyness, the, I have so much on my plate, all of these things, and to hit that burnout, which now feels normal. This is I've achieved, Oh, look at me. I am now successful because I've hit burnout, right? That we're, we almost want to be in that cycle because it's the same as our brain being like, what's wrong with you?

Why are you sad? You should be over. It's like, well, what's wrong with you? Push harder. You should dig deeper. You should. And so this is happening in the background of our mind as easy as we are taking a deep breath or blinking. Right? And if we [00:23:00] don't bring that to the forefront, if we don't connect with our body, then this cycle will continue.

And I really think we are in a society and cultures around the world that it will continue if we don't stop and take action. If we don't say I need to take care of me. Yes. Cause it's definitely reinforced society And I would say. That it's only partly a choice because, so this is maybe a weird story to bring in, but a few months ago, I found a hummingbird that was trapped in our garage, or I didn't know it was trapped.

I found a hummingbird in the garage and thought, oh, cool. It's just in here looking around, but the garage door was wide open. So I thought, Oh, it'll just go out when it's done. A few hours later, I came back in and it was still flying around in the Raptors. And I was like, I thought it was smarter than that.

So I Googled hummingbird behavior and apparently hummingbirds, when they are threatened, they'll fly around. I have an instinct to fly up, which if you're in nature is a great instinct, gets you way up high. You're out of there [00:24:00] fast. If you're in a garage with a roof on you, it keeps you flying up into the rafters over.

And it was, it was literally bouncing up is it's back up against the roof of the garage trying to get out for hours. And it was going to kill itself. And it was two feet away from the garage door where it could have flown out. And I looked at it and I was like, this is all of us. This is all of us because our biology gives us an imperative.

When our nervous system is dysregulated, it gives us the imperative of fight or fly, fight flight over and over and over and over and over again until we collapse. And so when you said it's a choice. It's a choice to get out of it, but I don't know that's a choice to get into it because once your nervous system is dysregulated, if you're not connected to the signals of your body, you are just going to constantly be getting the message, keep fighting, keep flying.

And that looks like keep working 12 hours a day. Keep [00:25:00] responding to text, even if it's the weekend. Keep doing things for other people, even though you need an hour to yourself. Like, that's, it's not a choice, it's like the imperative of what our nervous system is telling us is absolutely necessary to survive.

Yeah, I agree. The choice to get out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And once you're out the choice to do the work, to not get back up and flying up into the And that comes from the awareness of this is what my body feels like when it's dysregulated. This is what it feels like when it's regulated. And that is why going all the way back to the beginning with those little practices, like holding onto a rock.

Or tapping your foot on the ground to feel this is where I touch the ground are ways for you to have a touch in with what is my body's experience right now, because you'll start to recognize what the signs are for your body when you are. Okay, and not okay for, you know, lack of a [00:26:00] more scientific way of saying that, like you, you'll start to know what your, your signs are, for me, I know if I'm talking fast and I'm feeling like a tension in my chest, I'm dysregulated.

Yeah. Little things like that. And to not let that trick you into this is who you are. It's like, no, no, no, this is, a response to the unconscious. This is an unconscious response to the information you're getting from outside of you. And you can change the response from the inside out. Yeah, that's that mayday mayday ship is going down if you're not careful.

Yeah, I know that my, sort of mayday, mayday flags is when I hyper focus on something and try to solve a problem that just seems so big in that moment. And there's something in the back of my mind going like, You're kind of wasting time on this right now. Like this isn't as important as you're making it, but I'm like, no, I got to figure this out.

I've got to solve this [00:27:00] and not trusting in the process of the answer will come to me. If I take a break, I need to figure it. But that's my like, Ooh, cause I talk really fast when you're like, talk really fast. I'm like, Oh God, that's me on a normal 24 seven basis. Right. But when this starts to hyper fixate, like we're each different, right?

Like, so when this, my brain starts to hyper fixate and I. I have to solve this problem right now, because for some reason, this is going to unleash the floodgates of everything else being easier. That's when I know, okay, time to go for a walk, right? Or, and this is, this is what I would teach a client or time to say, I'm scared.

Of course. That's the only reason we do that kind of grab. Like I tell my clients all the time, like most people are good at recognizing I'm sad. I'm, I'm mad. I'm happy. But when we're scared, we just turn into weirdos. Like we just like fear makes, especially those of us who are really smart and really capable and like self sufficient fear doesn't [00:28:00] register.

It registers as I can figure this out. I'll just stay with us a little longer and I'll, you know, like, and usually it's like, Oh, I need to step away from this. But in order to step away from it, I need to, I need to say out loud, I'm scared that I don't know how to fix this. Yes. I'm scared that this isn't going to work, whatever it is.

And like, can you feel when you just say, Oh, I'm scared about this. It's like your fullness comes back to you and you're, you're, you're not a holograph. You know, like that two dimensional thing. Like you're, you become a three dimensional person again. That's like, Oh, okay. It's true that I'm scared about this.

It's also true that I have some resources. I'm going to take a walk. I'm going to think about it. I'm going to come back. Definitely. Before we wrap up, there's something that, that made me think of, you talked about like, you know, especially if you can really intellectualize, right? You're really educated and you're like, Oh, I can solve this.

I think there's also, for those of us who are trained in [00:29:00] industries where, crises or emergencies or those fires go up. And, and you're, you're trained in how to deal with them, but you forget your body is still needing to process and deal with afterwards. And from college on, I've always had jobs where that was my, like, you know, I knew the first day training by heart.

I knew the CPR training by heart, like all the work I did always involved me needing to have those skills. And when my daughter, my middle child fell and had a concussion, the moms around me were like, you were so calm. He knew exactly what to do. You were, you know, and I just told her to just lay there.

When she woke up, I was like, you're fine. Lay there. Everything's good. And I was, when I got home that night and she was laying next to me and I had to make sure she, you know, kind of wrestle her each couple hours to make sure she woke up. I'm bald hysterically because finally I could feel it. And now I look back and I go, Of course I was scared, Katie.

Of course I was scared the moment it happened. Of course, I was scared calling the [00:30:00] ambulance. Of course, I was scared, but my brain intellectualized. This is what I'm supposed to do. I've been trained in this. And it was later. So sometimes if you're listening, sometimes your body and your emotions will catch up later.

Honor that. Don't feel like you have to suck it in. You failed at. Your first date and your whatever there's, you need to have that space because everything you're talking about is if you continue to hold that in and not feel it and you hold it in and not feel it, you'll get to the point where you're talking about, like let's just hold a rock first.

Let's rub it and go, Hey, everything's okay. But the more you allow, it's kind of like the pressure cooker to release a little bit of what it's feeling and stop intellectualizing it. And start recognizing what are your, behaviors when you are holding it in. Like I'm absolutely, that's when I Netflix binge.

When I'm like watching the show after show after show, eventually I'll go, okay, feels. What are you not feeling? Yep. You [00:31:00] know, for some of us, it's eating. For some of us, it's drinking, um, you know, for some of us, it's shopping or, constantly reaching out to other people, you know, like that sense. So start to get real curious about what are the things that you do when you are, you haven't processed a feeling because you're, you're so right in saying, Oftentimes in the moment, whether it's, you know, a trauma like that, or it's something at work where it's just, it's not appropriate for you to break down balling.

Um, you have to go back to it later. And, so recognizing what are the things you start to do that make you realize, Oh, there's something I need to go back to. I should probably feel that. And I mean, Netflix is fun, but like, maybe I should actually feel it. Right. Oh, Jay. Thank you so much for this conversation.

You shared it and really the tips you gave so practical, so easy for us to use wherever we are. And I think, you [00:32:00] know, those micro moments that the naming it to tame it and doing it in the ways that you suggested I don't want to feel this way, or of course I feel this way. Just honoring, the acceptance of that, the feeling is there.

And then when you're ready to explore it further, I mean, we can all start doing this immediately. So I really appreciate that. If people want to connect with you and learn more from you, how can they do that? they can go to my website, which is jmoonfields. com. And, um, and on there I have a course, my, my signature training program is called Yours Truly.

And it's all of this. It's the nervous system regulation, how do you grow embodied self awareness, and then how do you, uh, learn new templates to relate to yourself and others in healthier ways. so yeah, at my website, Jay Moonfields, there's a page for yours truly. And there's a, if your listeners use the coupon code balance, they can get 15 percent off of yours truly.

Thank [00:33:00] you. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. Listener. Go run and do that. Like what we did here. Yeah. I'll make sure the links for everything are down in the show notes. So no matter when you're listening to this, you will still have access to her course and be able to do that. And what a beautiful way to have.

The tools you need on a regular basis. Then of course we can go back to it anytime you need on your phone, on your computer, wherever you are and go, okay, yeah. Let me listen to that video again. Let me, yeah, that's what people say. They were like, I just rewatch it when I need it. And it's like, Oh, it's like having a fairy godmother right there when you're like, what do I need to do?

Right? Like Jay, solve it for me. Okay. Right. Oh goodness. Thank you again, Jay, for being here. I know we will, probably have another episode in the future because I can, I could just, uh, all these things that ideas I had came from this, but I'm, I'm grateful for the time you took today to teach us these embodiment exercises.

My pleasure. Thanks for having me, Katie. And dear listeners, here's to finding our balance [00:34:00] code. 

Welcome to the Balance Code Podcast, a place for high achievers to step outside the hamster wheel of day to day life and start learning tools for more balance. I'm your host, Katie Ressler, and I will be guiding you on this journey of discovering your balance code.

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Discovering your balance code doesn't have to be a one person journey. You can have a team and I'd love to support you. So here's to finding our balance code.