Church History for Chumps
We're not your grandfather's church history podcast. But we'd also really appreciate it if he still listened.
Saints, heretics, councils...and the occasional crazy stuff. We have fun.
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Church History for Chumps
CHUMP TALK: Ask Us Anything!
We asked for Q's, and you guys delivered. So now we're back with the A's.
Who's our favorite heretic? Are we Calvinist, Arminian, or something else? Do we have any advice for someone considering pastoral ministry?
We answer those questions and many, many more.
As fun as this episode was to record, we honestly just enjoy any chance we get to interact with the folks who listen to our show. We really, genuinely appreciate you guys.
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John Half-brown (00:00.862)
Hey everybody, welcome to Church History for Chumps. My name is John Simon and I'm here with my two pals.
The Gatekeeper (00:07.612)
Taylor Treadway!
KillaGorilla (00:09.964)
What up?
John Half-brown (00:12.564)
And welcome to Chomp Talk, which is chomp chomp ch chomp talk. Have you guys heard those memes that like Donald Trump died?
The Gatekeeper (00:14.856)
Trump, Trump talk, where we talk about, where we talk about Trump. What do you guys think?
KillaGorilla (00:20.782)
Wow, man, didn't know we were talking about Trump today. All right, John, whatever you want.
The Gatekeeper (00:26.654)
Yeah.
KillaGorilla (00:27.062)
Yeah, I taught something about that.
John Half-brown (00:28.896)
Like he hasn't been seen in public and they're kind of like FDR. yeah, he can stand. He just hasn't in a while, but.
The Gatekeeper (00:35.326)
It's because he's out in the wilderness acting like a rabid beast.
KillaGorilla (00:42.072)
He's having his Nebuchadnezzar hours.
The Gatekeeper (00:43.454)
It's his Nebuchadnezzar girl summer.
KillaGorilla (00:48.59)
You
John Half-brown (00:48.938)
Gosh. All right. This is our Chump Talk episode. It's a Q &A. We asked for cues. You guys gave us cues. We honestly have a freaking lot of them. So we're going to push through, which we love, which we really love. I want to start with, I think, the most important question that we got, which was from our boy Enoch, who we love. And I'm going to read his question because it's very heartfelt and I feel like it needs like a serious answer.
The Gatekeeper (00:59.58)
Hey, it's good. I love it.
John Half-brown (01:18.938)
I feel like at the end of this episode we may not have much capacity for a serious answer. All right, here's what our brother says. He says, any advice for someone considering going into ministry? I am 26 and am finishing a missions internship with my church. I'm starting my master's program in engineering and hope to use that degree to help in church revitalization efforts in the post-Christian world.
The Gatekeeper (01:23.666)
That's good, that's good.
John Half-brown (01:46.494)
I'm in conversation with my elders about this but I'm curious about your thoughts on different paths towards ministry, pastoral internships, getting an MDiv, etc. Alright.
KillaGorilla (01:57.774)
Great question.
The Gatekeeper (01:58.303)
Bro, this is what I do, Enoch. This is literally my job, is to talk with young guys like you and help figure out a path. So there's a couple things, my friend, and you guys jump in or interrupt me whenever you think I'm wrong or whatever. So one, look at Timothy and Titus for the qualifications of a pastor. Right now, and I know we talked about it last episode, but I'll elaborate a little further.
John Half-brown (02:12.852)
Not do it man.
KillaGorilla (02:15.054)
WRONG
The Gatekeeper (02:25.608)
There's this sentiment going around that God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. And I think that's generally true if you want to use the word called as a sanctifying work of Christ in your life. So Tommy is called to be a dad because he has kids. So God will equip him as long as Tommy pursues the Lord in his life.
But that's very different than taking a ministry position somewhere. So we have the qualifications that we're supposed to look at. So I would go through all of those and take those all very seriously because any board of elders that's going to ordain you is going to grill you on all of those. So that's step number one. And that's also assuming that you have the desire. 1 Timothy 3.1 says, you you aspire to a good work.
Well, that aspiration is a good thing. And it sounds like you have it. And so the next step is to look realistically about where your season of life is. So is seminary something that you should pursue? You mentioned an M.Div. An M.Div is a massive degree. That's what I'm currently getting right now. And it's 90 credit hours. And it is a lot of work. And you pretty much have to go full time to
achieve it in any reasonable timeframe. So if you want the MDiv that will equip you, there's many seminaries. I think there's a certain seminary that you should look at the best, know, this is Gateway Seminary. But any of the seminaries, there's there's many of them. There's DTS, Masters, the Six Southern Baptist Seminaries. There's what's that face, Tommy?
John Half-brown (04:13.908)
Masters just kidding
KillaGorilla (04:15.678)
I believe you said DTS as like the first one that you recommend after.
The Gatekeeper (04:19.314)
g- why was this non- non-SBC?
John Half-brown (04:20.85)
I literally had that same thought before Masters. They're both fine. They're both fine. It's okay.
The Gatekeeper (04:24.538)
It's non SPC. Right, right. Just don't go to
KillaGorilla (04:29.464)
We are this this trio is probably way too opinionated about that topic.
The Gatekeeper (04:32.798)
That's fine. Find a good solid seminary that at least believes the Bible is true and look at their MDiv program. But yeah, so and then the last thing and this is arguably the most important is like, are you willing to put in the work at church? Because you have to learn how to do these things. You have to learn how to go visit a hospital and talk to you know, Miss Carol as she's
John Half-brown (04:33.948)
It's crazy. It's crazy.
The Gatekeeper (05:00.946)
like dealing with her husband dying, you have to learn how to show up at church at 5 a.m. and start cooking for men's breakfast. You have to learn how to deal with somebody grumpy complaining about something who always has to complain and you don't just bite their head off. There's a lot of really small practical things that you have to learn that will prepare you. And your church should have something set up for for eldership training. And if they don't,
you seminary can like subsidize that to some level, but really and truly pastoral training has to happen at the church. So if you have the desire, good, get the qualifications listed in scripture, and then get yourself trained, ideally in seminary and at your church.
John Half-brown (05:52.234)
Tommy.
KillaGorilla (05:54.072)
That was good. The best advice I got, I remember hearing on a Nine Marks Pastors Talk podcast, was get as much training, formal and informal training, as you can get your hands on in your 20s and 30s. And that includes everything that Taylor was just talking about. Formal training in seminary, training in the local church. I personally think that training in the local church is more important than seminary in this day and age. I think that many
John Half-brown (06:22.41)
Boom.
KillaGorilla (06:23.566)
Many, I don't want to say most, but many men that are operating as pastors today do not have a pastoral bone in their body and should not be in the pastorate.
John Half-brown (06:33.792)
Boom. See? Me and Tommy, sometimes we knock heads, but sometimes this man, he opens his mouth and a diamond falls out. That was amazing. I loved that.
The Gatekeeper (06:42.354)
I agree with him, but what if... I'm not saying this is the case for Enoch, but if someone's at church where the pastor's a gooper, you don't want to learn from him, so...
KillaGorilla (06:52.419)
Yeah, no.
John Half-brown (06:52.522)
Taylor, we don't have the time to go back and forth. I think that was great. Tommy, did you want to add anything else before I jump in?
KillaGorilla (06:58.989)
No, it's fine.
John Half-brown (07:02.016)
Crossing his arms like a little baby. Enoch, dude, let me just say you're 26. You've got the world as your oyster. I'm as excited for you, bro. And I I'm excited to, I'm excited to hear exciting things happening in the lives of our listeners. Cause that just makes it feel like our community's growing. two things. One, I love that there's an emphasis in what you wrote on church revitalization in the post-Christian world.
I served at a church that was very post-Christian facing, and I think that is a space that needs more churches to focus on that. think that one of the biggest obstacles for non-believers coming to church is the cultural barrier. So learning how to speak into that will have, I think, a lot of fruits, especially in the coming generations. But I just want to really
just double down on what Thomas said, which is your local church will spell beautiful support and prayer and discipleship and mentorship and the Paul to your Timothy, or they will, it could be really harmful. And honestly, dude, like I...
I've got my own experiences which the boys are very familiar with. I I literally heard a story today of a young dude who I love a lot, who got into a seminary program, was taken under the wing of this young, really cool pastor who was really amped to mentor him. Then that pastor on a whim decided to jump to another church across state lines.
The elders at that church paid no support to this young dude. And he basically got bounced around from church to church in town because he was just looking for somewhere to get ministry experience. So the value and the foundation of a good, healthy local church is irreplaceable. So having that, I think is beautiful. But we love you, Enoch, and we hope that is a beautiful journey for you, brother. We're excited. All right.
The Gatekeeper (09:16.463)
Amen.
John Half-brown (09:19.254)
okay, we got a few from our boy LM, Mr. Lawrence Marshall. I'm not sure if that's actually true. he said, if Arius had released an album of his Arian jingles, what song titles do you think he would use? I was thinking, not a rap god.
Okay, that's a good starter. Alright, what do you guys got?
KillaGorilla (09:42.542)
Taylor's got a great one in the chat.
The Gatekeeper (09:46.162)
Well, that's not the title. That's not the titles. That's the actual jingle. This is more like...
John Half-brown (09:52.062)
You just actually wrote a jingle.
The Gatekeeper (09:54.815)
That's what the show notes said. Aries jingle.
John Half-brown (09:58.273)
I do like, like as an album title, there was a time when he was not. That sounds like a post-hardcore, grungy Ohio-based album title.
KillaGorilla (10:06.126)
Mmmmm
The Gatekeeper (10:09.438)
Hmm. Yeah. One of the tracks would definitely be not quite God, but more than man.
KillaGorilla (10:11.47)
Yep, Ohio for sure.
KillaGorilla (10:18.072)
Oof.
John Half-brown (10:18.556)
I like that. Yeah, yeah. More than a man. It's really good. Yeah, I like that too. All right. Okay, Thomas, you got any?
The Gatekeeper (10:19.166)
Yeah.
Yeah, more than man. Yeah.
KillaGorilla (10:29.622)
No, I'm just reading this jingle. Are we only doing track titles or?
John Half-brown (10:33.896)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't need we don't need what chat GPT is feeding us
The Gatekeeper (10:36.638)
L.M. had a throwback. That's an older episode. That's a throwback, bro. That's what we.
John Half-brown (10:43.008)
I think there should be a diss track to Nicaea. no more Mr. Nicaea guy. that's good. that's so good, bro. Come on.
The Gatekeeper (10:52.014)
Mmm. What, what are you?
KillaGorilla (10:52.384)
No more Mr. Night Ski.
The Gatekeeper (10:57.476)
There's only like three homies that didn't sign it, which is pretty gangster if you think about it. Yeah.
John Half-brown (11:02.516)
Yeah, yeah, I like that. All right.
KillaGorilla (11:04.641)
He's just got a track where he talks about how he's just gonna shoot St. Nicholas with a Glock after getting punched.
John Half-brown (11:12.672)
That's right. You came with hands, I'm coming with arms. gosh. How am I so good at this? Am I an Aryan? my gosh. This is awful. All right, all right. Next question. Were there any weird Bible translations in the early church like the modern Queen James, the Gen Z version, et cetera?
The Gatekeeper (11:14.526)
Mmm.
KillaGorilla (11:17.93)
Yeah.
The Gatekeeper (11:20.222)
Wow. my-
KillaGorilla (11:23.192)
you
The Gatekeeper (11:24.093)
Wow.
KillaGorilla (11:37.72)
No, they just killed people if they did that.
John Half-brown (11:39.112)
Yeah
The Gatekeeper (11:39.996)
No, they just wrote their own stuff and we're like, Hey guys, look what I found. Look what I found. Bailweed. I found his bailweed outside. And that's how we got the acts of St. Peter.
John Half-brown (11:47.041)
And like the Gnostic Gospels and the Book of Mormon. Yeah. I thought about like, the, followers of, of Marcion, like the dudes who really didn't like the Old Testament. They just, they just removed it. Yeah. So like some people just like Thomas Jefferson did and just, and just, and just ripped pages out of it and made their own Bible. But I don't think they were, I don't know. I think that the
KillaGorilla (11:49.784)
and the Book of Mormon.
The Gatekeeper (12:01.278)
They went through and like edited it. Yeah
The Gatekeeper (12:08.3)
That's right.
John Half-brown (12:16.776)
The multitude of translations we have is a modern both blessing and problem. I don't know if that existed so much back in the day. What do you think of Eusebius's accounts of early Christian suicide from book eight, section 12?
KillaGorilla (12:35.726)
Is that like the circumcilians?
John Half-brown (12:39.08)
no, when I looked at it, LM, you'll have to scold me if I was off the money here, but from what it looks like, it looks like Christians who were voluntarily giving themselves up for martyrdom, but I don't know if it would really fit the bill as suicide, it was maybe just like, I don't know, like I do-
I do know that there are some accounts in early church history of kind of the circumcilian vibe of Christians who would like, yeah, shove a Roman guard and get stabbed and call themselves a martyr, but I don't know. I don't think that this was suicide. I don't know if Eusebius would have put it that way, but that's just me. I don't know.
KillaGorilla (13:12.504)
Provoke it.
The Gatekeeper (13:24.894)
Did I tell you guys about when I was listening to a Muslim missionary and he was telling how al-Qaeda, he worked with like Taliban and al-Qaeda guys and they would get converted and then they would just be like instantly ready to now instead of die for Allah, they would go like, I'm gonna go preach in the town square and have al-Qaeda kill me. And like he'd have to like talk to him like, hold up.
John Half-brown (13:47.338)
Gosh.
KillaGorilla (13:52.078)
Hmm.
John Half-brown (13:52.277)
Yeah, yeah, hey cultural values they they get copy and pasted into the into Christianity basically. Yeah, that's really interesting. All right, we're go to our buddy Elijah Hershey. Thank you LM for those wonderful questions. Elijah our buddy from Maine shout out to Maine. I'm gonna read your questions in opposite order because I think it'll play a little better. He wants to know our testimonies. So we got to be brief because we got a lot to talk about but Taylor
The Gatekeeper (13:57.232)
Right, right.
John Half-brown (14:21.812)
Let's hear it.
The Gatekeeper (14:21.958)
I was born a poor black child.
John Half-brown (14:24.67)
Stop it.
KillaGorilla (14:25.196)
Wow, big reveal, big reveal from Taylor.
The Gatekeeper (14:28.414)
no, I grew it. I like to say that I've been in a Baptist church since I was two weeks old and, I, I, was initially, I was saved at a tent revival. It's so good. I love it. And then pastor Berchamp. Yep. When I was in like the third grade. Yeah, I know. It's, then, and then, and then it keeps going in the Baptist way and the third grade. And then like six months later, I was in the fourth grade and pastor Berchamp came to our.
John Half-brown (14:28.658)
Only half right.
John Half-brown (14:44.308)
Wait, for real? That's the Baptistist thing. I love that.
The Gatekeeper (14:58.532)
our our our house one evening and sat at the kitchen table and made sure I understood the gospel and then I I was he said all right we can baptize him it happened at the kitchen table and then I got and then I got baptized and then I did the whole high school thing where you're like I take my faith seriously I need to get baptized again and you're like my gosh I have to
John Half-brown (15:25.258)
double baptism.
The Gatekeeper (15:26.268)
I have two baptisms for the remission of sins.
KillaGorilla (15:29.166)
Mmm
John Half-brown (15:30.014)
Yeah, I got two also, man. I get it. I was in that same place.
KillaGorilla (15:36.622)
I love that way of putting it. I've got two baptisms for the remissionists.
The Gatekeeper (15:39.614)
You
John Half-brown (15:40.042)
That's right, one for each hand. Taylor, are you a sensationist or a continuationist?
The Gatekeeper (15:48.191)
my gosh. I have to answer, don't I? I don't like labels. I would say if we're defining cessationism as like modern John MacArthur cessationism.
John Half-brown (15:50.368)
This is what Elijah asks.
Yes? Gross, okay.
John Half-brown (16:04.618)
Well here, let's define our terms real quick. It's basically a question of do you believe the spiritual gifts are still active? Cessationists believe that they're not, continuationists believe that they are. And by spiritual gifts I mean like tongues, prophecy, things like that.
KillaGorilla (16:05.89)
That's hyper cessationism.
The Gatekeeper (16:20.358)
Yeah, I think I would be labeled as a cessationist by continuationists, but I don't want to label myself a cessationist. Because I believe in healing, but I don't believe people have the gift of healing. I think if in that moment, God heals somebody through your prayer, that's still all God, right?
John Half-brown (16:33.824)
Mm-hmm.
John Half-brown (16:45.465)
I think that still falls within cessationism.
The Gatekeeper (16:48.796)
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. think they would, yeah.
John Half-brown (16:50.398)
Yeah.
Okay, all right, dog. And then last question for Taylor before I go on to Thomas. Are you Calvinist, Arminian, or something in between?
The Gatekeeper (17:00.402)
I'm gonna answer that question by telling you I have a two lip tattooed on my forearm. It's huge. It's huge. Yeah.
John Half-brown (17:08.34)
There we go. Calvinistess can be huge. All right. Thank you, Taylor. Okay, Tommy. What's your, what's your testimony,
KillaGorilla (17:21.654)
Yeah, it's interesting. I've told this story different ways over the course of my life. As I get older, I feel like I think of my testimony in different ways. I've really gotten to a point where I can declare with the psalmist in Psalm 22, you know, from my birth, I have been cast on you and you've been my God from my mother's womb. And I really see the Christian life as a movement from like
immaturity to maturity and a lot of what I I previously thought of as like conversion experiences plural was really just like scales falling off my eyes more and more as I understood who God is and the work that he's done for me. I was raised in a Christian home and I was baptized when I was 12 and
But I remember some of my earliest memories are of prayer, of my parents leading me in prayer, of being taught about God. So I'm very thankful for that. I, over the course of my teenage years, definitely, I think, struggled with some of my action matching my confession, which I think is a common...
Common thread that a lot of us share, that's where I used to think, I didn't fully understand the gospel until I was 18, so I wasn't really saved until before then. And I see it more as now a movement of immaturity to maturity. And that continues to be the case, and I long for more maturity as I grow in my faith.
John Half-brown (19:06.357)
Hmm.
John Half-brown (19:15.39)
Yeah, beautifully put man. Our utilizationist or continuationist.
KillaGorilla (19:20.846)
You know what? I don't think that I make a good cessationist. I'm certainly not a continuationist in the sense that I've never been in circles that really emphasize the sign gifts. As a pastor, I would absolutely resist someone trying to speak in tongues in our service if there was
John Half-brown (19:48.361)
Hmm.
KillaGorilla (19:50.23)
not an interpreter, which is something that I've never seen or heard of being done. That said, I'm not totally against the idea of people having what they call a private prayer language. When it comes to healing, that's the one that I'm really fine with. I spent some time in India where I enormous amounts of testimony from across that country of
just insane healing stuff. Like, hey, this guy's leg was shattered. We laid hands on him and prayed for him, and we heard his bones moving back together, and then he was healed and he could walk, like over and over, like that sort of thing. And my view on that is that wherever in history, because post the cross and the resurrection, Jesus greatly hindered
John Half-brown (20:33.802)
Dang.
KillaGorilla (20:48.526)
the works of Satan and the demons that are worshiped as gods. And so it's not as overt as it is like at the time of the Gospels. You see this crazy like demonic stuff going on and then at the time of the Apostles we see kind of that war continuing to unfold but the old age was passing away and a new age is being ushered in. However, there's still vestiges of that. So in a country like India
where you have people straight up worshiping a literal demon who has told them his name and they have an idol set up to him and they're worshiping him in their town square, that opens you up to higher levels of demonic oppression, but also higher levels of Holy Spirit-led liberation, which you see manifesting in miraculous healing.
I think the gift of tongues as it works its way out in the church is actually when a missionary is able to speak in the native tongue of someone that they're trying to minister to. I've heard testimony of that happening. I don't think it's the sort of babble speak that we see in modern charismatic movements. I'm like, I don't know, I'm like Taylor. I don't think I neatly fit into either camp, but I'm okay with the idea of the spirit doing things that don't fit our categories.
The Gatekeeper (22:11.858)
I think we can say we're soft continuationists.
KillaGorilla (22:16.184)
There you go.
John Half-brown (22:17.138)
Alright, I like that. I like that. And then, Tommy, are you a Calvinist? Or an Armenian? Or an Armenian?
KillaGorilla (22:24.438)
I am what they call a, I'm a weapons grade Calvinist. There's an article that I would encourage you to read, Elijah, by Rich Lusk, and it's, you Google Calvinism, not just a pretty tulip, it's really good.
The Gatekeeper (22:24.786)
Habibi!
The Gatekeeper (22:29.708)
No.
John Half-brown (22:32.158)
military issued.
The Gatekeeper (22:33.565)
He never left the cage, he just turned it into a gun.
John Half-brown (22:48.032)
Dang, Taylor, shots fired. What a dork. Wow. Got him.
KillaGorilla (22:52.046)
The Gatekeeper (22:52.242)
You know, I'm in the middle baby, always will be.
KillaGorilla (22:56.52)
In American church history, Calvinism has sometimes been boiled down to only talking about soteriology or the doctrine of salvation. But Calvin had a lot of good stuff about civil life, the sacraments in particular in Book 4 of his Institutes. And I think that, yeah, I'm big on Calvin.
John Half-brown (23:07.872)
Candids of Dort, baby!
John Half-brown (23:23.528)
Nice. All right, I'll do.
The Gatekeeper (23:24.38)
You're like an actual Calvinist, not just reformed soteriologically.
John Half-brown (23:29.152)
Well here's the thing, I feel like... whatever, I'll just get into my stuff. We got a lot to talk about. Ooh!
KillaGorilla (23:30.09)
I'd to help soon.
Alright, I'm gonna be the interviewer now. Hey, John! Share your testimony.
John Half-brown (23:39.353)
thanks, man. well, before the foundation of the earth, the, the beautiful Lord had a, had a thought of me, millions and trillions of years before my very thought and existence. No, I was, I was raised in a, both my parents were like raised Christian church going, but really not in healthy Christian environments at all. So.
KillaGorilla (23:51.998)
I already answered the Calvinist question. Okay.
The Gatekeeper (23:54.32)
you
John Half-brown (24:07.838)
My parents raised me real nominal. you know, said said grace before dinner and I said, now I lay me down to sleep before I went to bed and all the basic stuff. But, yeah, I mean, my dad started taking my sister and I had a church when I was like nine, I started going to like a missionary Baptist church, big predominantly African-American church, just kind of started to realize like the Bible is like amazing. And this idea of God was so much bigger.
than what I had previously thought. And so I just kind of called myself a Christian, and it became a big part of my identity very early. I do feel like I had a very pivotal moment where my faith became really real to me. And I think that was what initiated the process of understanding the gospel as it's not how hard I can work, but it's...
finished work of Christ that secures us. But yeah, kind of like Tommy, I I see the grace and faithfulness and steadfast love of God in every day of my life, even when I was a little tiny baby. Even growing up in a family that had its fair share of dysfunction and, you know, crazy stuff. So, yeah.
I also got baptized twice like Taylor because I wanted to make sure it really stuck. But really because I went to a church that insisted that I get baptized again because according to them, because I didn't have a full grasp of the gospel when I originally got baptized when I was like nine, I needed to go again. And Taylor, think the guy who made me do that, you know, he used to run a school.
pretty close to you. So I would not insist on that. I do kind of wish I didn't get baptized again, but you know, God is sovereign. It's all part of the plan,
The Gatekeeper (26:14.984)
Yeah. Yeah.
KillaGorilla (26:18.304)
Nice. Okay. So are you, I don't want to nice that. That was beautiful, John. That was beautiful. That's like a podcast host fatal flaw, right? Somebody just pours their heart out and you're like, wow, that's interesting. yeah. Are you a cessationist or a continuationist?
John Half-brown (26:22.902)
Thank you, man. Nice.
The Gatekeeper (26:24.295)
Nice.
John Half-brown (26:30.346)
Good stuff.
John Half-brown (26:37.726)
Brother, I want nothing more than to actually call myself a continuationist, but I agree with everything you guys have said. It's so hard because here's my big flaw or my big problem. What I saw when I first got into theology and like deep cut biblical Christianity was like, yeah, well.
The Gatekeeper (27:00.254)
Strange fire.
John Half-brown (27:03.472)
It was, I saw this very hyper intellectual grasp of Christianity, which was super, what I learned in seminary to be called post-enlightenment, which is basically like, if you can't scientific method this stuff, then it's not legit. And so don't talk about demons. Don't talk about God speaking to you. Just read the Bible, be a good Christian, pay your taxes, yada yada. And I think that.
that never sat well with me, because just like Thomas, I've always been endeared to the stories of our overseas brothers and sisters. And I was just like, dude, I've heard way too many crazy stories to just be like, actually, you know. And even like, you know, I had a good friend who told me a story where his testimony was him being cradled by the physical Christ in his arms as he wept. And I'm like,
What I'm gonna look at this guy and be like, so it's probably a demon or something. It's like he's a Christian a demon saved him. Are you kidding me? So But yeah, I but I but I also grew up in a church with some pretty heavy Pentecostal influence and it sucks to be in a super Pentecostal church sometimes especially when you're not super emotional and everyone's crying and you know roll all over the floor and stuff So, yeah, I'm a I'm a softy like you guys. I'm in the same boat
KillaGorilla (28:29.646)
I think it's worth noting that a lot of what people think of when they say cessationism today has been so influenced by John MacArthur and the Strange Fire Conference, when that is actually, I think, we should probably call hyper-cessationism. And I think a lot of what historically has been considered to be cessationism before the 20th century, when we see a lot of the hyper-charsmatic stuff,
John Half-brown (28:39.977)
Yeah.
The Gatekeeper (28:46.141)
Yeah.
John Half-brown (28:47.102)
That's probably a good point. Yeah.
KillaGorilla (28:58.648)
come out would just basically be where we're at.
The Gatekeeper (29:01.766)
Right, like there's a big difference between like Jeff Durbin and crew call themselves continuationists and then they caveat it with everything that we're saying. But like when I think of continuationist, I don't think of Jeff Durbin. I think of Sean Fouak. Like, you know.
John Half-brown (29:01.77)
Yeah.
KillaGorilla (29:17.471)
interesting.
John Half-brown (29:17.76)
Yeah, I think of elevation and Bethel, you know.
The Gatekeeper (29:21.938)
Yeah, not like, wow, I was street preaching and somebody who only spoke Spanish understood and responded to the call of the gospel. That's what we're comfortable with. And we're like, yeah, that's amazing. But not.
John Half-brown (29:31.23)
Mm-hmm.
John Half-brown (29:35.218)
Right, what we're not comfortable with is, you know, I- I made this dude's leg, grow. Like, stuff like that.
The Gatekeeper (29:41.042)
Yeah, we took seven Mountain Dominion over Washington DC.
KillaGorilla (29:41.304)
Yeah, yeah.
John Half-brown (29:48.542)
Yeah, yeah.
KillaGorilla (29:48.814)
My favorite is when Kenneth Copeland blew COVID away. Have you guys seen that video? Look, dude, it's so good. So good.
The Gatekeeper (29:55.398)
Yes.
John Half-brown (29:55.755)
Yeah, yeah. It's... aw man.
The Gatekeeper (29:58.911)
All right. We are actually making horrific time, by the way. Are you Calvinist, Arminian, or something else?
John Half-brown (30:02.247)
I really keep really keep moving
I'm Dutch Reformed, bro. That's my title and I'm sticking to it. I'm a Calvinist. But here's the thing, I'm like, I'm not gonna fall under everything Calvin says in his institutes. I'm not gonna agree with everything the French Calvinists said in the Reformation. So, teoreologically, definitely Calvinist, but I don't know. I've got a bunch of views. Also, I'm going to a Baptist church right now. I'm just a sad puppy in a lost, little sad world.
The Gatekeeper (30:11.61)
Everybody thinks we're so diverse.
The Gatekeeper (30:34.086)
Welcome, welcome home, J.S. Historically, Baptists are Calvinists, be quiet.
John Half-brown (30:35.098)
it's awful. I hate it.
John Half-brown (30:42.176)
All right. No, no, no, you're probably right. Okay. Um, Jackson, Gagney, our boy said, what's the reach of your podcast? Like how many listens per episode generally throughout the whole show, which I don't know, man, a real magician doesn't reveal his secrets. I don't know. I feel kind of weird about that, but I guess we can say we're very grateful for the, for the audience. We, we usually get around five to 600 listens per week.
which we're super grateful for and usually around 25-2600 downloads per month. But yeah, I mean we're small. We're not making, you know, really any money that's not given to us through Buy Me a Coffee, but we're just here for the love of the game. So, appreciate it.
The Gatekeeper (31:14.14)
Yes.
The Gatekeeper (31:29.309)
Yeah.
KillaGorilla (31:29.432)
You know, it's interesting we as far as podcasts go, we're small. However, we have a really diverse and global listener base, which is kind of cool. Like we don't know how so many of you found us. And it's just always cool when we hear from somebody who's like, yeah, I'm listening from wherever around the world. So yeah, thank you for listening.
John Half-brown (31:39.775)
Mm-hmm.
The Gatekeeper (31:51.549)
What what we're finding is that people find us by typing for some reason you guys type Diagnetus into Spotify, and you're hoping and or monotism and you're hoping and praying and then you're like, wow, thank the Lord for this. Right. And it's us. Yeah.
John Half-brown (31:59.891)
or monsoonism.
John Half-brown (32:06.58)
But have I found one result?
KillaGorilla (32:09.314)
Yep. That's how one of our OGs, Ellen, found us.
John Half-brown (32:14.058)
That's right, that's right. So we'll keep doing the obscure stuff that nobody else will.
The Gatekeeper (32:15.176)
So we're very grateful. Yeah. And we're very grateful to all listens. Honestly, guys, since all of you that listen seem to be really committed fans, and we love that, if you want to see us grow, throw us up on your Facebook or on your Instagram and just say, I've been listening to it. Throw it out there if you want to see us grow. Yeah.
John Half-brown (32:32.772)
yeah!
Tell your friends bro. Alright, this question's been haunting me since I read it. What is your favorite work of fiction? Can be a book or a movie or something else. I think I know Thomas's, which is a bummer. I don't know mine, but I think I know Thomas's. Is it the space trilogy?
KillaGorilla (32:50.702)
Okay, what's your answer for me? Yes and no, yes, but I thought about this and I think I have to say the entire corpus of Lewis's fiction because I can't rule out Narnia. I can't rule out the great divorce and they're different things, but it's all so good. If you haven't read Narnia, if you haven't read the space trilogy,
What in the world are you doing with your life? Do it.
John Half-brown (33:21.94)
Dang. Okay. All right. That's good. That's good. Tay?
The Gatekeeper (33:26.038)
mine. Do you know mine?
John Half-brown (33:29.066)
I don't think so. my gosh.
KillaGorilla (33:29.1)
Game of Thrones.
The Gatekeeper (33:30.731)
my no. I'm like the opposite with.
KillaGorilla (33:35.682)
Just some like non-canon Star Wars.
The Gatekeeper (33:39.162)
Yeah, hey, that's actually a good guess. No, it's Lord of the Rings. The Tolkien universe is just unbelievably beautiful and-
KillaGorilla (33:41.326)
Hey, there you go. I feel like we just inadvertently answered your dad's question, which I don't know if made it on our list. CS Lewis or Chesterton. well, no, it was Lewis or Chesterton, I think was his question. Okay.
John Half-brown (33:46.408)
Okay, that is really good.
The Gatekeeper (33:53.511)
Well, yeah, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. But I love the Lord of the Rings. I think the Lord of the Rings are beautiful. And I love Token's impact on pop culture. He's kind of like the Mount Fuji. You know, in Japanese art, like the rule of Mount Fuji, it's always there. And then if it's not there, that that's in itself is an artistic choice.
John Half-brown (33:56.872)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Gatekeeper (34:18.622)
So Tolkien has, if he is not there, they've purposely chose to not put him there. And as far as all the nerd stuff that I like. But Tolkien is just beautiful. I love him. I love the Lord of the Rings. I love his thoughts on everything. I could talk about Lord of the Rings every day.
John Half-brown (34:36.48)
That's good. I feel like I got to go more like out of left field because I had a couple thoughts for this one and this How about just Dwayne the Rock Johnson's career in the WWF it's my favorite work of fiction No, I'm gonna go movie cuz you did say movie and I'm gonna go with pans labyrinth cuz that movie Really really just I don't know
KillaGorilla (34:36.782)
Nice. Goat.
The Gatekeeper (34:43.752)
Fast and furious.
KillaGorilla (34:52.94)
Yeah
The Gatekeeper (34:53.329)
Wow. There you go.
John Half-brown (35:05.376)
does a lot for me. It is both historical and fantasy at the same time. it is, I don't know, for whatever reason, I just love pieces of fiction where the grasp on reality, you're kind of asking like, is what I'm watching real? Is it unreal? Like it's kind of this back and forth of like not even being sure you can trust what you're watching as the viewer.
I just think it's really cool and I just think it, I don't know, it gets my weirdo esoteric look at the universe. I don't know. It's also in Spanish. No, that's the labyrinth and that's a weirdo freaking movie. But I'm glad you didn't clarify. I'm glad we clarified it that would have bummed me out. All right. Last one from Jackson. Where should listeners vote to send Taylor on missions next year?
The Gatekeeper (35:42.597)
Is that the one with David Bowie?
They're both weird, I guess.
The Gatekeeper (36:02.202)
I mean, I, yeah.
John Half-brown (36:02.206)
I'm gonna do... is there like a geocache like randomizer? Because I can... that's a good idea. Alright, geoguessr, but we'll have to guess it first.
KillaGorilla (36:08.45)
Just use GeoGuessr and see where it takes us.
KillaGorilla (36:16.248)
Well if we get it wrong it'll tell us where it's at.
John Half-brown (36:18.456)
good call. I don't want to log in for it. Random... No. Sorry man. Random place, Google Earth. Okay here we go. Alright. Okay. Ooh this place looks pretty. Hold the phone? Where are we though?
The Gatekeeper (36:24.7)
And I don't get a say. Right. Okay.
The Gatekeeper (36:43.984)
It's like the Mongolian steps.
KillaGorilla (36:44.374)
Detroit Michigan.
John Half-brown (36:51.794)
Alright, it just it just we're in a baroon to ruin We are in no, I think it's I bet it's finished We're you're going to baroon to ruin Which is a province of Mongolia? Big dog. Yeah, it's pretty. It's pretty pretty grassy
The Gatekeeper (36:58.052)
What? Is that a country?
The Gatekeeper (37:11.236)
wow, I guessed it.
KillaGorilla (37:13.71)
Dude.
The Gatekeeper (37:17.83)
I can do the Mongolian throat singing. No, I actually can't. I just do my own horrible version in annoy Brandy. And I'm like, boy, I am I am der, I.
John Half-brown (37:23.592)
KillaGorilla (37:25.314)
I've got a, I've got a, my brother just thought I could actually do it.
My brother Josiah taught himself to like overtone and sing like that.
The Gatekeeper (37:34.428)
I think it's cool. All right. There you go. I'll go to Mongolia.
John Half-brown (37:38.098)
Alright, sweet. man. Alright, let's see. Nick Lang asked, who's your favorite heretic?
KillaGorilla (37:46.734)
So the way this was on the list, it just says favorite hair take question mark and then it says Nick Lang. Nick Lang is my favorite hair take. And Nick is actually the one person I know who calls himself a hair take more than anyone I
The Gatekeeper (37:53.022)
Ha ha ha ha!
John Half-brown (37:53.504)
That's the answer. Yeah.
John Half-brown (38:02.75)
Very much so, yes.
KillaGorilla (38:04.334)
I was thinking about this. I don't have someone from history. I've got a modern one though Theologically and his writings wise I can't stand Richard Rohr however, I Bet that I could hang with Richard Rohr like I could kick back in the mountains of New Mexico with that with that dog and just have a beer and just in
just chop it up. could chop it up with Richard Rohr. We'd argue hard, you know, it could happen.
John Half-brown (38:37.588)
I love that. I love that. Yeah. I, I've got a weird feel. I've got a weird vibe from Richard Rohr. I think I carry all of, I think I carry the exact same amount of like theological concern, but just, I don't know. It's the whimsy man. I'm just like, you're so freaking endearing sometimes. He's very whimsy, bro. I also have a slightly more modern one. I read about this dude. I've been reading through,
KillaGorilla (38:55.542)
Yeah, he's very whimsy, yeah.
John Half-brown (39:06.666)
been on a cult binge lately. Dude, no, no, no, no, that's super close. I've been, I've been on a cult binge lately and I'm reading a book on Waco right now. David Koresh was absolutely a heretic. Also, this is why you shouldn't be a Seventh-day Adventist, but that's for another episode. but I'm reading, I read one on Jonestown with Jim Jones and Jim Jones was influenced by this dude named Father Divine.
KillaGorilla (39:06.872)
David Koresh.
John Half-brown (39:34.389)
And he was this five foot two black dude on the East coast who would do these like revival preaching sermons. But he was like, I'm God. But he, but that was his thing. He was like, I am God. And he would do these like fabricated healings and stuff. He had this massive following. And I was like, man, this guy sucks, but also so interesting.
KillaGorilla (39:43.054)
Sounds like a Marvel character, dude.
The Gatekeeper (39:59.679)
That's your favorite?
John Half-brown (40:01.48)
Yeah, I'll put him down. Father Divine. Look him up.
KillaGorilla (40:03.874)
Father divine.
The Gatekeeper (40:03.88)
So you got to remember, I try to be really ecumenical. So I take that heretic stamp pretty seriously. Like, if you're putting like, capital H on somebody. So I have an old one. Because I would hang out with Sean Foigt, and I don't think he's a heretic. I think he's wrong about a lot. But I think that Goober will be in heaven. He'll be in heaven.
KillaGorilla (40:27.086)
Heterodocs. Literally.
John Half-brown (40:28.618)
Heterodox.
The Gatekeeper (40:29.502)
Yeah, like Sean Floyd can lead worship rallies in heaven, right? And I'll be there singing with him. But John Simon, no. Anyway, my favorite heretic is a Apollinarius. Apollinarius. Yeah. That poor guy. OK, he was horrified at Arianism.
John Half-brown (40:36.896)
Pass.
KillaGorilla (40:37.004)
I was like, not in my heaven.
John Half-brown (40:42.752)
oooo
John Half-brown (40:51.028)
He tried really hard to not be an Aryan.
The Gatekeeper (40:54.63)
He was like, this is wrong. How dare you? And then like overcorrected. And then the church was like, heresy, condemned at council.
John Half-brown (41:01.798)
Hehehehehe
KillaGorilla (41:02.414)
That's a great way of putting it.
The Gatekeeper (41:06.686)
FORGET
John Half-brown (41:09.52)
It's if you guys seen that gif of the simpsons where homer Throws himself out of the burning house and he lands on a mattress and bounces back into the burning house Like that's what the ballonarius did
The Gatekeeper (41:20.729)
Yes.
I dude I feel like I think a Polonarius will be in heaven like I feel so bad. I feel so bad for that guy.
John Half-brown (41:29.95)
I hope so.
John Half-brown (41:34.365)
Alright,
The Gatekeeper (41:34.514)
Especially in a world where like Christological developments were still happening, you know? This poor guy. Right. He just, he just went like a little too far and maybe he was annoying in person. And so they were like, we don't want this guy. I don't know. I feel bad for him though. He's my favorite heretic.
John Half-brown (41:39.194)
Yeah, they didn't know what they were doing. Yes. It's the wild west baby. Come on
John Half-brown (41:49.888)
They're like, honestly, we're done with this dude.
Yeah, that's good. That's a good answer. All right. Our buddy Tristan Samuel said, what is your favorite trilogy trilogy to watch? Taylor, we already have yours. The Hobbit. The Hobbit.
The Gatekeeper (42:06.364)
Yes, the Lord of the Rings Extended. OK, the Lord of the Rings, and you have to watch the extended version or you're not watching the movies.
Like, I don't know why you would choose to not. It's like going to like a five-star restaurant and being like, just give me one plate.
That's not why you're here. You don't understand. This is an experience.
John Half-brown (42:31.135)
No, it's like going to a restaurant and being like, hey, can I get the food that the chef wanted me to get, but then like some extra that like fell on the floor?
The Gatekeeper (42:42.558)
W-W-Whoa.
John Half-brown (42:44.607)
That's what extended cuts are. It's like, hey, could we get some more stuff that the director didn't want? Who made the extended cut?
The Gatekeeper (42:46.597)
Not in this one.
The Gatekeeper (42:51.908)
No, director... No, no. Jackson? Jackson did. He wanted it to be that way. But apparently people don't want to sit in the theaters for five and a half hours.
KillaGorilla (42:51.95)
Fuh.
John Half-brown (43:04.833)
Shame on them. Thomas what's your favorite trilogy? I almost said Trinity.
KillaGorilla (43:09.24)
Well, I'm not nearly the the cinephile that John is. It's the Lord of the Rings for me as well. I'm trying to even think about like if there's other trilogies.
The Gatekeeper (43:17.254)
Mmm, man of culture.
John Half-brown (43:17.355)
Dang man, alright, that's good. That's good. Yeah. No, no, that's good. That's good. Yeah. What do, what if mine was like, fast and the furious, three, four and five?
The Gatekeeper (43:27.944)
Fast and furious. Dude, I was just thinking that. I was just thinking it was a four, five, and seven.
John Half-brown (43:35.697)
not even sequential just like the three of my favorites no dude my favorite trilogy is perhaps the most most over abused trilogy of all time it's the og spider-man trilogy sam raimi toby maguire i i literally i think spider-man 2 is up there with the dark knight as like
KillaGorilla (43:49.358)
Mmm, good answer.
John Half-brown (44:01.429)
one of the, it's on the Mount Rushmore of the best superhero films of all time. It's like that with Logan. It's, it's, it's so good, bro. Like.
The Gatekeeper (44:05.544)
talk. It was good. It was good. Okay.
KillaGorilla (44:09.326)
Spider-Man is pretty much unassailable, like I've never seen a Spider-Man movie that I didn't like because the character is that good.
John Half-brown (44:16.902)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, if there is a superhero I think spider-man probably embodies that Christ figure role better than Superman does but that's for another episode All right, what are your takes on the Catholic Crusades?
KillaGorilla (44:28.526)
Hmm.
KillaGorilla (44:39.042)
I had to look up exactly which crusades we were talking about. Do you guys want me to answer first?
John Half-brown (44:46.016)
I think
The Gatekeeper (44:46.032)
I, dude, you're the one that's clearly going to have a hot take.
KillaGorilla (44:49.56)
I don't know if it's a hot take.
John Half-brown (44:49.652)
the views are varied. I think they're varied. I think we all have varied views, but Thomas, I know you wanna... yeah.
KillaGorilla (44:57.026)
Well, I was just looking up the four Catholic crusades all were dealing with pushing back against Islam. if you want my take, I think that it was really, really important work that they were doing. I've been doing a little bit more research on this for myself. One day...
We'll attempt to do a Crusades series, which will be really fun. It'll also take a lot of time. I've been reading... So there's a guy by the name of Raymond Ibrahim who's been doing a lot of good work on this. And he has two books that the interested listener should look into. One is called Sword and Scimitar, which is a history of some important battles in between Islam and the West.
John Half-brown (45:31.294)
series probably yeah
KillaGorilla (45:55.854)
And then he has another book called Defenders of the West, which is more about individual characters. he, using oftentimes Muslims' own histories, he just paints a picture that's extremely, extremely horrifying of basically what Islam was doing in their rapid spread and how important it was that the European nations pushed back against it. So...
It's obviously complex. Each of the Crusades has their own intricacies. Some of the Crusades are dumb. I will tell a funny story though. One of the Crusades, which I don't think is one of the Catholic Crusades, it was called like the People's Crusade. And I remember sitting with Brad Mella, who's been on the pod. He's teaching a church history class on the Crusades. And he's talking about how the People's Crusade was basically just like a bunch of like
John Half-brown (46:44.277)
Hmm.
KillaGorilla (46:53.634)
farmers and like regular people who wanted to go retake the Holy Land and because they weren't like, I'm not sure they were sanctioned by the church even, and so they were doing a lot of like pillaging along the way, kind of the stuff that you sometimes hear like a popular conception of the Crusades being like, and so they just kind of suck, and then they get to, I think maybe they get to Jerusalem, and Brad's teaching this class and he's just like,
and they were completely decimated because they only had like pitchforks and stuff. And I just started laughing in class, like me and one other student. And Brad starts laughing too. And I got Brad laughing about that. And cause he kind of chuckled as he said it, he's like, they were completely decimated. And several people in our class were scandalized by, but I was like, that's kind of funny.
John Half-brown (47:49.292)
That's good. man. Yeah, I'm When we do a series on the Crusades, we'll get more into the Crusades. I've heard some I've heard some very sound Defenses of the Crusades one of my favorite Medieval theologians was a huge supporter and advocate of the Crusades st. Bernard of Clairvaux I've also heard some stories about and from the Crusades, which I think are really gruesome
and should make anyone filled with the spirit kind of shudder a little bit. But yeah, it takes a lot. It's a lot of nuance, history's messy. Yeah.
The Gatekeeper (48:27.294)
Yeah. Generally speaking, I think that they were a positive. I just feel bad. You when I was in Ethiopia and you realize like, this is like the one place that didn't fall to like the reign of Islam. And, and you realize like how blessed that nation is. I don't know. It's just sad to think about. Islam's not good. So they were
They conquered a lot and I kind of like applaud a general effort to fight against that. But then, you you get into the nuance of how it went down. Generally speaking, good.
John Half-brown (49:10.785)
Alright, what is the history of the communion of the saints doctrine?
John Half-brown (49:21.439)
wants to tackle that one.
KillaGorilla (49:23.182)
I could take a crack at it. So I don't know who asked this question.
John Half-brown (49:24.47)
Go for it.
John Half-brown (49:28.501)
Serena. Serena DeGrazio.
KillaGorilla (49:32.92)
So without knowing Serena's background, mean, depending on who you ask, you're going to get different answers to this, but essentially it's the idea that all those who are in Christ, both living and dead, share a common communion. And so this is confessed in the Apostles' Creed, one of the things.
John Half-brown (49:54.818)
Serena DiGarmo. I'm sorry Serena, I said your last name wrong. I'm sorry Thomas.
KillaGorilla (49:58.954)
RIP. Yeah, so it's confessed on the Apostles Creed. One of the things is, you know, I believe in the communion of saints, and what that means is essentially... So if you're Roman Catholic, Roman Catholics see like a three-tiered communion, and so you either have people who are living on earth, people who are in purgatory, who are being like refined, and then you have people who are in heaven.
The three of us would share a more Protestant, and I would argue biblical conception of the world and of heaven, in that those who are living on earth, who are in Christ, share a communion with those who have died. Their bodies have died, but they are still alive, and their souls are in heaven, resting with Christ.
possibly even worshipping Christ alongside all of the saints and living creatures and elders that worship the Trinity at all times, waiting for the resurrection. And when, particularly when we are gathering with the saints on the Lord's Day, we're gathering with the saints, other Christians who are in our midst in the room with us, but there's something mystical happening where we are also
singing alongside and communing with the saints who are in heaven.
John Half-brown (51:35.487)
Alright, yeah.
KillaGorilla (51:36.152)
I don't know anything, so I don't really know how to answer the history question because that's just what Christians have always believed. You end up with different layers to that, and so the Orthodox actually have a really, really cool linear view where it's like no matter where someone died in history, they're still experiencing time. And so I think this would be my view as well, that people who died before
John Half-brown (51:43.051)
Mm-hmm.
KillaGorilla (52:03.534)
Christ's incarnation, death and resurrection, where they went into Sheol, and they were... Sheol was more or less a good or bad place depending on whether or not you had faith. If you had faith, then you were resting in Abraham's bosom, which was basically a place of rest for the faithful. But it wasn't... you weren't resting in heaven like saints are now. And so when Jesus
died and rose, part of the work that he did. And so another thing we confess is that he descended into hell or he descended to the dead. And he liberated the saints who were waiting in Sheol and brought them into paradise, which is why he can also say to the other thief on the cross next to him, today you will be with me in paradise. John and I actually had the opportunity to
participate in an audio drama that our buddy Creative Orthodox did, if you go onto Spotify and look up Anastasis, which is A-N-A-S-T-A-S-I-S, the Harrowing of Hades audio drama, it's an audio drama that kind of takes that Orthodox perspective where you have really interesting linear things happening. For example, people are in Abraham's bosom waiting for the promised Messiah and then all of a sudden like
Moses gets called out for a while for like the transfiguration and then he comes back and he says like, hey, like Elisha, I met your master Elijah. He was there, which like brings to mind like, yeah, maybe like Elijah, since he never died, didn't go to Sheol. He didn't go to Abraham's bosom. There's all sorts of interesting reflections that the Orthodox have on that that I think is worth considering.
John Half-brown (53:55.362)
I it's on YouTube too. I think so. I might be wrong, but it should be.
KillaGorilla (53:57.152)
Is it? sweet. Is there like images that go along with it on YouTube? Okay, cool.
John Half-brown (54:02.602)
I want to say so, yeah. But again, I might be hallucinating. I'm not sure. Shoot, I think we're down to our last question, Who would you rather sit down and have a conversation with, GK Chesterton or CS Lewis?
The Gatekeeper (54:22.814)
I feel bad because I feel like GK Chesterton would be really, really good to sit down with, right? I feel like I could learn a lot. But CS Lewis, my goodness. Guys, they're both titans. How do you pick? I pick CS Lewis.
John Half-brown (54:35.202)
Mm-hmm.
John Half-brown (54:50.062)
How do you even do it? I'll be different and just say Chesterton, just because I do love Lewis a lot. I love mere Christianity, but I read Orthodoxy last year from Chesterton and it gave me a really, really big appreciation for him. think C.S. Lewis,
might be the better fiction writer. I haven't read any of the Father Brown stuff from Chesterton, but I, from my personal spicy take, I think Chesterton might have been the more captivating thinker, or at the very least the better writer. So I don't know. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say our boy GK.
Tommy I know there's no competition for you.
KillaGorilla (55:43.238)
Actually, I was going to say Chesterton as well. Yeah, even though I think Lewis's work is more important than Chesterton's in the long run, think that Lewis is a bigger mind and writer. However, I get this feeling with Lewis that it would be like one of those don't meet your heroes kind of moments where like he wouldn't be a good conversationist.
John Half-brown (55:45.502)
Really?
John Half-brown (56:08.158)
Yeah
Mm-hmm.
KillaGorilla (56:13.44)
Yeah, I don't know, something about Chesterton just seems like he'd be a little bit more apt for the sit down.
John Half-brown (56:20.476)
I the problem is that I don't think either of would want to talk to us. Like I think they'd be fine, but they'd be like, okay, great. Yeah, sure. How long do I have to talk to you for?
KillaGorilla (56:24.619)
Right? Yeah.
KillaGorilla (56:32.117)
If the question was which one would you rather meet, I would rather meet Lewis. Like if I could only perform necromancy once and bring them back. But since we believe in the communion of the saints and we'll get the opportunity to meet both of them, I'll probably sit down with Chesterton first and have.
John Half-brown (56:36.897)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. It only works one time
The Gatekeeper (56:43.678)
Okay, stall.
John Half-brown (56:52.682)
Yeah, yeah. Have I told you guys about my, my, my like thought experiment? I'm not sure if that's right word for it, but I have this concept that, that there's like an exclusive club in heaven where all the martyrs go. And it's like, it's like one of those like sit down areas at an airport. If you're like, exclusive Delta Delta platinum members get to go here. I think it's like that. Yeah.
The Gatekeeper (57:18.834)
Yeah, it's the best.
KillaGorilla (57:21.454)
They have it. They have that.
John Half-brown (57:23.2)
I think it's real.
KillaGorilla (57:24.888)
Revelation talks about it. It's under the altar. It's like where their special lounge is.
John Half-brown (57:27.9)
Mm-hmm. Derek, see? I knew I was on to something. Yeah. All right.
The Gatekeeper (57:34.579)
You know, there is one more question. So you know how you put that like, now I'm the clickety clack. Sorry. My mic is messed up, I think. Anyway, speaking of my wife, Brandy actually asked that question that you labeled in the show notes as Taylor's dumb dinner question. She didn't know.
John Half-brown (57:42.274)
You're typing so loudly bro. Stop I-a-ming your wife you weirdo.
John Half-brown (57:58.4)
KillaGorilla (57:59.787)
Anything.
The Gatekeeper (58:00.401)
She told me she's like, accidentally asked it as you on Spotify. I was like, that's OK. We'll answer it. So we have to answer it.
John Half-brown (58:07.06)
I was wondering why Taylor asked a question. was like, dude, it's your show, you dork.
The Gatekeeper (58:11.646)
Right. was, do... What was her exact wording, John Simon?
John Half-brown (58:17.25)
was like, do all leftovers work if you reheat them and add an egg and eat them with a tortilla?
The Gatekeeper (58:24.934)
Right, right. Can you can you can you take all dinner leftovers? My thing is like I I feel like yes in a lot of situations, but there's certain stuff like I don't want to add an egg to spaghetti. Like I'll eat spaghetti. I'll eat spaghetti in a tortilla. I don't think I'll eat spaghetti with an egg.
John Half-brown (58:42.178)
That sounds kind of awful. Yeah.
John Half-brown (58:48.694)
That's the gout talking brother. You gotta stop. You gotta stop.
The Gatekeeper (58:53.534)
Taylor, no. Look, I'll eat most things. I'll eat most things reheated in a skillet on a torture.
KillaGorilla (58:53.784)
Hahaha
John Half-brown (58:59.706)
Dude, you know that interstellar scene where it's Matthew McConaughey from like the other time and he's like, no, no, no, like that's, that was the gout looking at you being like, I'll eat spaghetti and a tortilla. No, no, stop, no.
KillaGorilla (59:07.401)
No, no.
The Gatekeeper (59:08.296)
Thank
KillaGorilla (59:16.142)
Ha
The Gatekeeper (59:18.652)
Huh? Yes. Think about this, though. Think about it. Just think about it. You got some mashed potatoes, roast beef, throw them in a skillet, crack an egg in there, put it in a sortie. No, doesn't. No, doesn't. I know. Even like orange chicken, I don't really want to put.
John Half-brown (59:19.946)
You
John Half-brown (59:32.082)
Ew, like that doesn't sound good. No, that doesn't sound good. I think you just proved your wife wrong. my gosh. Yeah.
Crack an egg and it with a tortilla? No! That sounds nasty!
The Gatekeeper (59:48.254)
Okay, what food does this actually work for?
John Half-brown (59:57.279)
I think if you made like a real basic like stir fry that's just like a protein and some veggies that would work like a charm.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:05.286)
A star fry already has eggs.
John Half-brown (01:00:09.664)
Not always, no. If it's just like some pepper steak with some bell peppers and onions and mushrooms, that would be great with an egg and a tortilla.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:20.734)
Dude, Brandy just texted me, she can hear me. She goes, we've done spaghetti sauce with eggs in a tortilla.
John Half-brown (01:00:27.796)
Gosh.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:30.449)
John Half-brown (01:00:31.892)
She's like, we've, we did this.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:35.486)
Dude, chili and fajitas. This is why everyone's like, Taylor, this is why you're fat and have gout. Okay, but Brandy's not fat and doesn't have gout and I the stuff she feeds me.
John Half-brown (01:00:47.852)
Taylor's like...
KillaGorilla (01:00:48.054)
I just had that same thought, like, what are you doing in between your tortilla sessions, man?
John Half-brown (01:00:52.682)
no, Brandy's hitting the calisthenics.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:53.594)
I know.
I don't
KillaGorilla (01:00:56.44)
No, what is Taylor eating in between the...
John Half-brown (01:00:58.286)
Taylor's like, I had a brownie put on the skillet, cracking neck. That's for cereal. Pour some cereal in the skillet. some milk.
The Gatekeeper (01:00:59.6)
It's those are
The Gatekeeper (01:01:11.592)
Crack an egg?
KillaGorilla (01:01:14.198)
Air fry a steak? Crack an egg?
John Half-brown (01:01:17.186)
and necky with the torts.
The Gatekeeper (01:01:20.254)
Okay that actually sounds good though.
John Half-brown (01:01:22.156)
Okay.
The Gatekeeper (01:01:25.374)
I should start a podcast called like big boy stories
KillaGorilla (01:01:25.642)
my god.
John Half-brown (01:01:27.052)
Good gracious.
KillaGorilla (01:01:30.286)
you
John Half-brown (01:01:32.994)
Big boy lore.
The Gatekeeper (01:01:34.799)
Big Boy Lore, I start my intro would be like, if you're not a big boy, turn this off. This isn't for you.
KillaGorilla (01:01:41.998)
What did you call the fries that you get just for yourself in the drive thru? Car fry, car fry, crack an egg, get a tortilla.
The Gatekeeper (01:01:48.111)
that's a car fry.
John Half-brown (01:01:52.373)
I can't
I would watch like a a bit like a vlog of Taylor getting the car fry and then he pulls an air fryer out of his glove compartment and he's like here's where the real magic happens boys crack an egg throw it in the air fryer put it in a tortilla
The Gatekeeper (01:01:55.867)
man.
The Gatekeeper (01:02:08.894)
Cracking it put it in the tortilla
KillaGorilla (01:02:10.476)
The Gatekeeper (01:02:17.661)
way.
John Half-brown (01:02:19.522)
Alright, that's all our questions. Thank you guys so much for listening, especially everyone who participated. Um, dude, I love these episodes. These are always so much fun. And you guys know a little bit more about us, which, uh, yeah, I guess that's nice.
The Gatekeeper (01:02:33.662)
Yeah, now they're thinking like, we've like misled them into thinking we're all diverse. And they're like, they're all Calvinists, soft cessationists, we're saved at a young age. I'm sorry I don't have some story of like, you know, killing people in the crypts.
John Half-brown (01:02:44.322)
They're all Christians. They're all Christians.
KillaGorilla (01:02:54.765)
Never too late.
The Gatekeeper (01:02:56.434)
You're right. I should go make a testimony.
John Half-brown (01:02:57.89)
That's right. Have you guys seen those words like, Oprah was 45 when she started her first show. Albert Einstein was 60. It's never too late. What if it was like Paul was 30 when he killed his first Christian? Nebuchadnezzar was 60 when he burned Jews alive.
KillaGorilla (01:03:10.734)
That's right.
KillaGorilla (01:03:17.154)
Hmm, never too late to write your story.
KillaGorilla (01:03:25.144)
So, Taylor, I don't- why didn't you talk about getting bullied on YouTube for your guitar videos in your testimony? I thought that was an important moment. You told me about that. Yes!
The Gatekeeper (01:03:32.222)
No. Why, how do you know about that?
John Half-brown (01:03:36.448)
Yeah, how did you hear about that? yeah.
The Gatekeeper (01:03:38.571)
I told you about this? I don't remember that.
KillaGorilla (01:03:42.986)
Okay, was that like a deep dark secret?
John Half-brown (01:03:43.136)
This is... This is... This is deep Taylor lore. TAY-LORE.
The Gatekeeper (01:03:44.766)
No, it's not. No, no, no, no. So when I was like 14, I would play like metal riffs on guitar and it was like popular to record them and put them on YouTube. And some of these got like 60,000 views, like a lot. But then there was also all these, some of them would be like, dude, this is so sick. You're so young. I can't, you have such a bright future. And then other people would be like, you fat piece of D like
John Half-brown (01:03:59.02)
Did people like your videos, Taylor?
KillaGorilla (01:04:08.479)
I'm sorry.
The Gatekeeper (01:04:11.326)
You
KillaGorilla (01:04:12.046)
That just gave you the hardened shell that you needed for-
John Half-brown (01:04:12.69)
It would literally... Dude.
The Gatekeeper (01:04:15.326)
Dude, but the thing is, like, little Taylor is so arrogant. I struggle with it still to this day. But even Taylor back then was like, I was like, I'm not concerned with the opinions of peasants.
John Half-brown (01:04:23.17)
Hmm.
KillaGorilla (01:04:23.309)
Just drove you.
KillaGorilla (01:04:29.575)
That's awesome. That's awesome. I love it.
The Gatekeeper (01:04:32.378)
Yeah, yeah, it didn't get to me. I was like, I look back on it I'm like, man, I was like hardcore cyber bullied in the YouTube comment section and I just I didn't even care. Like I went to school the next day. I was like, haha, look at this one, guys.
KillaGorilla (01:04:43.566)
That's awesome.
John Half-brown (01:04:45.462)
like kill yourself kid yeah some of them were awful yeah shout out to David Treadway yeah that's good all right let's wrap it up it's late
The Gatekeeper (01:04:47.227)
Exactly.
KillaGorilla (01:04:48.322)
I think that means you had a good dad. So shout out Taylor's dad.
The Gatekeeper (01:04:51.39)
Shout out. It's good. It is good.
Trap it up.
John Half-brown (01:05:02.156)
trap it up.
The Gatekeeper (01:05:04.85)
You should write a church history verse.
KillaGorilla (01:05:07.854)
God bless you.
John Half-brown (01:05:09.162)
I retired, I don't rap anymore,
The Gatekeeper (01:05:11.231)
But I'm not a rapper. All right, bye guys. Bye bye.
John Half-brown (01:05:13.507)
Bye bye.
