Rock Bottom Podcast : "Suburbs, Sarcasm & Shenanigans" - If You Can't Take The Heat, Go Back And Get Another "Pumpkin Spice Latte"
04/23/2025 “Currently in contract negotiations. Social media activity is paused during this transition—updates will resume soon. To be continued. 😁🙏"
Produced In The 18940
Newtown, Pennsylvania
Covering My Town & Surrounding Areas
Welcome to the Rock Bottom Podcast, a platform where we delve into local news with a no-nonsense approach. From schools to transportation and the pulse of the community, we cover it all without the fluff. As my mom used to say, I speak my mind without a filter. Transparency is key here - no sugarcoating, no spin, just the unvarnished truth. That's our ethos, plain and simple. And remember, authenticity rules the day - just as Eric Scott Gold dictates. 😁
Rock Bottom Podcast : "Suburbs, Sarcasm & Shenanigans" - If You Can't Take The Heat, Go Back And Get Another "Pumpkin Spice Latte"
The Roast Of Overpaid Andrew Sanko And His Impotent Midget (Remix Version)
Ever wonder what happens when comedic rage meets educational bureaucracy? DJ ESG's latest Rock Bottom Podcast episode delivers a blistering, no-holds-barred roast of school superintendents that will have anyone who's ever worked in education nodding furiously while laughing uncomfortably.
From the opening salvo against "the grand poobah of paperwork" to the final heated sign-off, this episode systematically dismantles the administrative edifice of public education with surgical precision. DJ ESG skewers the superintendent archetype as a jargon-spewing, meeting-addicted figurehead who makes "six figures to say 'students first' while dodging every actual student like they've got cooties." The host doesn't just throw punches; he paints vivid pictures that expose the absurdity of educational leadership priorities.
The podcast tackles sacred cows of the system with remarkable candor: the budget that's never available for teacher raises but somehow stretches for administrative luxuries, the policy documents so complicated they require "a PhD in Legal Lesson and OG Board just to make it make sense," and the performance art of crisis management where problems aren't solved but merely renamed. Particularly scathing is the spotlight on administrators who remain physically and functionally invisible to the very teachers and students they're meant to serve.
While wrapped in humor and hyperbole, this episode delivers a powerful commentary on the disconnect between educational leadership and classroom reality. It speaks to frustrations felt by teachers, parents, and community members who see resources misaligned with needs and leadership detached from purpose. Ready for an unfiltered take on educational administration that says what many think but few dare speak? Hit play, buckle up, and prepare for a wild, thought-provoking ride through the corridors of educational power.
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Peace, Love & God Above! :-)
What's up, guys? This is DJ EST and this is the Rock Bottom Podcast, and I cordially invite you to the roast of Andrew Sanko and Albert Funk. I hope you guys enjoy every minute of this, because I have put so much time and effort into pulling this together. I'm telling you we have hit gold here, and when I say gold, I mean Kevin Hart level gold. First off, welcome back to the Rock Bottom Podcast, where the truth hurts, the sarcasm stings and the budget is about as real as a high school diploma in Florida.
Speaker 1:Today we're diving into the magical, mystical, money-eating, policy-spitting, professional, overpaid unicorn of the education system. Yes, the school superintendent, aka the grand poobah of paperwork, the sultan of subcommittees, the ceo of we'll look into it the person that makes six figures to say students first, while dodging every actual student like they've got cooties. Let's break down this bullshit, shall we? Hello, andrew, I'm glad you tuned in today and if you didn't, I'm sure one of the pta moms will let you know that I'm talking shit about you on a Monday night. Let me tell you what it is that you do. You are the CEO of a company that produces zero profit, maximum confusion and enough bud words to make a TED Talk, overdose. What is your actual job? To run the school district? What is your favorite job? Looking busy while avoiding every real issue like it's a lice outbreak in kindergarten. You're out here like oh. We're launching a new initiative to build trauma-informed, equity-centered standards, aligned, career-ready, future-focused curriculum, platform translation. We brought chromebooks and don't know what the hell we're gonna do with them. Master of meetings that mean nothing. Oh my god, you wake up, have a kale smoothie and walk into nine straight hours of absolutely useless meetings. Meetings about policies that don't work, meetings about the last meeting, meetings about scheduling the next meeting. So many damn meetings. Even god is like damn. That's excessive. Meanwhile, teachers are duct taping textbooks from 1994 and printing quizzes on the back of PTA flyers. But the superintendent, you, andrew, oh, you're busy planning vision alignment frameworks with consultants named Bryson Madison.
Speaker 1:You can stretch a budget thinner than grandmom's turkey gravy. Hey, we need air conditioning in the classrooms. Oh, sorry, that's not in the budget. The teachers need to get paid more money so they can make mortgage or rent. Whoa, sorry that's not in the budget. Oh well, how about toilet paper? Can we swing that one? But we do have $3.2 million set aside for the new initiative wing that comes with LED lights, two massage chairs and a fake fireplace in the teacher's lounge. Yeah, because all the people that work in the chancellor building need a place to go to eat their fucking donuts and watch Fox News.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait, I forgot left wing cnn, anderson cooper. You'll cut the arts, music and janitor's hours in one swipe and spend a quarter million on a new direct slogan. Oh my god, network public schools where excellence might happen, students first, always, absolutely. But wait, karen, you have a cookie sale. Wait, a second second grade. Go over there. I got to go buy some mint. Thins the policy magician.
Speaker 1:Nobody I mean nobody can make a simple idea more complicated than you, andy the school superintendent. Instead of saying hey, let's not let kids fight in the hallway, they'll write a 124-page conflict de-escalation framework filled with Venn diagrams, bullet points and quotes from the Sun Tzu's Art of War. Oh, and don't worry, they'll upload it to the district website, buried under 12 drop-down menus and labeled Appendix C2, non-urgent Behavioral Protocols. Hey, good luck reading it. You need a PhD in Legal Lesson and OG Board just to make it make sense. Oh my god, damage Control Pro.
Speaker 1:When shit hits the fan and, trust me, it always does? The superintendent shows up dressed like accepting an Oscar Cue news camera. Flashbulbs Andy, here you come. You take these concerns seriously and are actively listening to our community Translation. You're going to do absolutely nothing. But I do have a five-day conference in Tampa next week with a complimentary breakfast. So peace out and let's be real. You don't solve the problem, you just rename it. Bullying, that's peer-led conflict. Fights, that's peer-led conflict. That's dynamic hallway engagement. Rat in the cafeteria, unlicensed emotional support animal. What else do you do? You can fire a principal faster than you can say email scandal.
Speaker 1:One minute you're in the office doing morning announcements, but you really can't do that because you don't work out of any of the school buildings. Next minute you're being escorted out holding a coffee mug in your soul. But when they hire someone, oh, it's a damn ceremony. We're someone. Oh, it's a damn ceremony. We're thrilled to welcome dr christopher m jonathan rogers, washington, the third, who brings 17 years of experience in curriculum alignment and exactly zero years of experience talking to actual students. Cut the ribbon, throw out the confetti, turn the hat sideways. We're going to sizzler baby. Or, in this case, we're going down the street and getting a prime rib.
Speaker 1:Why do you think they have the outdoor space down there at rocco's for when all you guys come during lunch. You think it's that packed with just regular people. No, it's the entire chancellor building. You guys pop up once a year to cut a rib and smile for the paper and disappeared like houdini with tenure. Try calling one of you guys. You get transferred to six people, end up leaving a voicemail for someone's aunt who works part-time in payroll and then you face the district, just not the kind of face you can actually find. I mean, you're there maybe so next time you wonder why your kid is learning math from a youtube video while sitting in a chair missing one leg, while the superintendent's office got a brand new mahogany desk, a conference room, espresso machine and air purifier that costs more than your car. Just remember they're doing their best, by which I mean they're doing jack shit with flair, my god.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you one other thing. I met this guy. All the money that they're giving him, you spend a little bit money on his loafers. Think about it this way at least he's a family guy, filtering that money on hunting and fishing and loving every day. He should probably get together with luke bryan. Oh, and before I go.
Speaker 1:I forgot about albert funk, administrator of secondary education. He don't do shit. He don even brush his teeth. I talked to about six or seven teachers in the last two or three weeks. Only three of them know what he looks like. One's never spoken to him. One guy thought he was the janitor. Another guy has no idea that. This guy's even getting paid 170 grand a year. He just walks around with a look on his face, doesn't even know the Eagles fight song. I mean, this guy's a schmo. At least andy has a purpose. Uh, this guy's as useful as a pez dispenser.
Speaker 1:The next time you catch the rock bottom podcast, where sarcasm's free and the truth might get us sued, whatever they'll call their lawyer, I don't give a shit. Whatever you guys gotta do, you gotta do. But I'll tell you this right now I ain't done and I ain't stopping. And mr superintendent, who might visit one school a year, and mr secondary education of whatever the hell you're doing drinks all the cappuccino, sits in his office all day long shaving his bald head and twirling his mustache like he's fucking wally fingers in a dream. Dude, I don't know what to tell you. One of you guys is a douche. The other one's got the worst breath in america. God, take it together, fix it up, go to church, learn religion. I'm esg. Both you guys can suck my dick. Peace, love and god above, and I'm out bye.
