Moment: One Foot on the Gas, One on the Brake: No Wonder You’re Exhausted

Our body's fight-or-flight response treats everyday stressors the same as life-threatening situations, making it impossible to experience joy while in survival mode. Breaking free from this cycle requires embracing discomfort and understanding that what we truly want—joy, calm, and fulfillment—lies on the other side of temporary unease.

• Your body can't distinguish between being chased by a lion and waiting for your boss's email response
• We often stay stuck until the pain of our current state exceeds our fear of change
• Our brains create deep neural pathways that keep us trapped in guilt, shame, and fear
• Your body will try to pull you back to familiar patterns when you attempt something new
• Breaking these patterns alone is difficult—seek support through therapy, coaching, or structured programs
• Having a framework or process to follow makes stepping into uncertainty less intimidating
• Focus on what awaits on the other side: joy, fun, memories, and fulfillment

Take one small step today toward embracing discomfort, whether it's saying no, going to bed early, or sitting with difficult emotions. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it and subscribe to Balance and Beyond for more bite-sized breakthroughs.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Balance and Beyond
• 0:33 Understanding Fight or Flight Mode
• 0:54 Embracing Discomfort for Change
• 1:43 Breaking Neural Pathways of Guilt
• 3:36 Finding Support and Taking Action
• 5:01 Final Encouragement and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to Balance and Beyond Moments. Your weekly dose of insight, wisdom and mindset shifts, all in 10 minutes or less, whether it's a powerful truth, a fresh perspective or a spark of inspiration, this is your space to pause, reflect and reset. Let's dive in. I want joy, I want calm, I want fulfillment and I'm going to do what it takes to get there. And when you're in fight or flight, your body doesn't have the capacity to take anymore. It's like you know what I'm in survival mode, like we ain't got no time for joy. There's no need to be happy here. Your body doesn't know the difference between being chased by a lion and fearing for your life and waiting for a response to your email from your boss. It is the same neurological, biological response. What has to shift here how we stop the train wreck, how we stop the addiction is you need to decide that you are prepared to get uncomfortable. You have to tell yourself that what you want is on the other side of discomfort and that it's okay. You know, make a more empowering meaning of it. And this usually has to happen when the pain of staying where you are now outweighs the fear of change. And I hear this all the time. The consequences of me no longer moving my body are perimenopause nausea, heart palpitations, cancer, relationship breakdown, kids not being around me, kids not wanting to talk to me, me being a grump. The consequences of staying stuck are now too great, and so this is what shifts us to move. The key is understanding that this is going to be uncomfortable. You're not going to numb your feelings anymore, because what you want lies on the other side of discomfort, and what happens is, when we're in this fight or flight, our body will prefer to sit in guilt and shame and fear and emotions that make us feel like rubbish, rather than tolerate the uncertainty of what could be there. It doesn't care about joy. It's like no, no, no, no. I don't know what joy feels like. I've been numb to joy. I haven't had any real fun in ages. Oh, that might kill us. That might be a little bit dicey. I'd better stay here where I am.

Speaker 1: 2:23

So the key to stopping the train crash is you deciding, you stepping into your power. Primarily, you're putting your hand up to say I am going to get uncomfortable. One of the first things that you're going to have to do with this is to put your hand up and ask for some help, because these programs of yours that are running, they are hardwired into your brain. Literally, your brain cells have fired together and they have created these neural pathways that are very, very deep and very, very well established. So you will get in your own way, which is a phrase I use all the time.

Speaker 1: 3:00

You will get in your own way and you will guilt and shame yourself for everything you do, because your body is literally trying to claw you back. It's like, oh my gosh, you're doing something different. No, no, no, feel guilty about that. You're not doing it properly. You might make a mistake. It's just shoving all this stuff at you to try to pull you back to how you were. But when you decide I am worth it. I don't want to be numb to this anymore. I want to get out of guilt. When you know what sits on the other side, well then the discomfort becomes worth it. The discomfort becomes something that we can throw ourselves into and say, yes, I sign up for this. I sign up for discomfort because I know what I really want. The life that I want to build is on the.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Remember that this is really tricky to do by yourself. There are many different ways that you can get support to do this. Some people try books, but those programs are really, really strong. You need to be in a very, very good emotional state if a book is going to work for you. Some people try therapy and that can help them.

Speaker 1: 4:07

If these feelings of guilt and shame are deep rooted in trauma or childhood experiences, that can be a really good way to do this, or people like myself. There's coaches who can also hold you through this, because part of the uncertainty is well, I don't know how to get to joy. I don't have time to figure it out. Have you seen my diary? So you need to find someone that can lay out for you the pathway through this, because when you're stepping in voluntarily to uncertainty, you've got to find as many things to cling on to as possible. Whether it's okay, you've got a process, there's something I can follow, there's a step-by-step piece when you understand that there's a framework or there's something that you can hold on to. That makes kind of throwing yourself into the abyss feel a little less scary. So how do you feel about the train crashing now?

Speaker 1: 4:54

I would hope that after this conversation you've got a better understanding of it's not your fault. Don't add any more shame to how fast your train is crashing or how often you're watching it or how frustrating it is, but I want you to know that you can break this chemical addiction that you have, you can overcome your biology, you can take control of your brain rather than let it control you, and know that once you do this, on the other side there is so much joy, there is so much fun and there are memories and there is fulfillment. And if that's what you want, then, my gosh, get uncomfortable. See what you can do today. You step into it. Just one little piece, say no, go to bed early, sit in that discomfort, knowing the life you want exists on the other side. Thanks for taking this moment for yourself. If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today, and don't forget to subscribe to Balance and Beyond for full episodes and more of these bite-sized breakthroughs. See you next time.