Ambition After Babies. The Truth No One Says Out Loud

Ready to stop waiting for permission and start leading with intention? We sit down with Khiara Cureton—VP in healthcare and executive career and money coach—to unpack how motherhood can sharpen ambition, not dull it, and how to turn quiet excellence into visible impact. From fifteen-minute daily resets to rethinking success around fulfilment and time, this conversation gives you practical ways to protect your energy, raise your voice, and build a life you actually love.

We dig into the shift from self-doubt to self-data, including how to build a brag book that tracks hard results like cost savings, retention, and delivery wins. Khiara breaks down why sponsorship matters, how to craft a visibility plan that gets you into the right rooms, and the mindset move that changes everything: don’t wait for confidence to act—act your way into confidence. You’ll learn how to set non-negotiables, prepare with personal and industry data, and use a “community of mirrors” to keep momentum when the work gets noisy.

Money talk gets real and specific. We map the compounding cost of delaying a raise, share scripts for market-based salary conversations, and outline creative levers when cash is capped—flexibility, development, travel limits, loan repayment, and more. Khiara also reclaims the label “too much,” showing how owning your ambition signals authority and sets a powerful example at home. Walk away with one bold step to take this week, whether it’s buying a notebook for your wins, booking a mentor chat, or emailing for that meeting you’ve been avoiding.

And follow Khiara's journey on Instagram @theancherco

If this resonated, follow and share with a woman who needs it. Leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show, and subscribe so you never miss a story that fuels your ambition.

The Balance & Beyond Podcast Hosted by Jo Stone, founder of The Balance Institute

For women who are already succeeding, but beginning to wonder if they're willing to keep losing themselves in the process.

We know high achievers, because we are one. This podcast draws on Jo's 20 years in global leadership and thousands of hours coaching executives and ambitious women: the patterns she sees, how to untangle them, and what it actually takes to keep your success without paying for it with yourself.

If something landed today, there's more where that came from.

And if you know a woman this would resonate with, send it her way.

🎙️https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast
🔗 www.balanceinstitute.com
💼https://au.linkedin.com/in/stonejoanne
📷 @therealjostone

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Jo Stone (Host) 0:00

Welcome to the Balance and Beyond Summer Sessions. Conversations to reignite your vision for the year ahead. Each episode, I speak with women who've built success without sacrifice and turned burnout into breakthrough. Their stories aren't about doing more. They're about becoming the woman who builds a life she actually loves. If you're ready to step into 2026 with clarity and conviction, take a breath. Let's dive right in. You are in for a treat today, my friends, because I am joined by Chiara Curitan, an executive career and money coach for ambitious mothers. She's a vice president in healthcare, a mother, and a woman who has built her confidence, her wealth, and leadership from the inside out. We're diving today into how motherhood can sharpen your ambition, not dull it, how to turn self-doubt into self-data, and how to finally ask for what you're worth. We are about to jump into a fascinating discussion because you are an executive, you're a mom, you're doing all the things, and you talk a lot about money and wealth and confidence. So we're going to cover a lot of ground. One of the biggest transitions, or I guess you'd say identity shifts that we make is becoming a mom. And you had your little one five years ago. As someone who's always been ambitious, how did having a child impact your career and what did you learn about yourself in the process?

Finding Quiet: Boundaries And Fulfilment

SPEAKER_00 1:32

I, like you mentioned, have always been ambitious. I've been in healthcare my whole career. I had a coworker in my very first career in healthcare who was like running around crazy with her kids' activities. She was like, I gotta run him to baseball practice, I gotta run her to dance practice. And honestly, seeing that, I was far away from having kids at that point. I was in my early 20s, but I was like, I don't want to lose myself in motherhood, right? Because I feel like it's so easy to just continue to pour out into everyone else except yourself. So that was my first little intro into the vision that I had for myself as an ambitious woman and a mother. Fast forward to 2020, had my first child. I was a traveling consultant Monday through Thursday. Actually, it was late 2019. Luckily or not, 2020 happened and I had my baby, and I knew I was in a role ultimately when the world would open back up, but I didn't want to be on the road. Like that's not the mother that I wanted to be. However, I struggled because I was so close to promotion and I was in an industry where you are just constantly climbing the ladder and consulting. And so what I realized is I had to get quiet with myself and ask, okay, how do I want to show up as a mother and how do I want to show up as a career woman? And so what I realized is motherhood didn't dim my ambition at all. It actually helped me get super clear on the things that I knew I wanted to focus on and do. And so earlier I felt like, ooh, like maybe my ambition or my career desires might conflict with me being the present mom that I envisioned that I would do. But the reality, again, it made me super intentional about my work, my rest, how I lead, and how I show up as a leader in healthcare.

Jo Stone (Host) 3:12

Two words you mentioned there, getting quiet with yourself. Where did you find the time for that? Because particularly when you're working, you're in the middle of a pandemic, you're a new mom, you're like, what the hell is going on? How did you manage to get quiet with yourself? Because that's something so many women struggle with.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

You know, in those earlier years of newborn, you know, all they're doing is sleeping and a little bit of crying. And so I would say my son was easy. And then with the world kind of being shut down, you didn't really have much to do. So it really kind of forced me to just think. And there's a brain dump, 15 minutes dedicated each day to say, okay, I'm not thinking about soccer practice, I'm not thinking about the report that's due. What do I want to achieve tomorrow or this week or you know, wherever I'm at? Honestly, what I also learned is that boundaries create that integration, right? So I had to figure out what was gonna fill me, what was gonna excite me. And I truly believe when you show up more fulfilled, you're a better for your partner, for your children, for your career. Everyone kind of wins when you're filled. And then I also had to redefine what success means for me. I more so measure it now by fulfillment and my time, not so much busyness as I probably did earlier in my career. And then the biggest thing is visibility is legacy for my son. I want my son to see a mother who is leading boldly, intently, and not someone who is hiding behind her dreams.

Jo Stone (Host) 4:36

I love that you use those words. How have you stepped into that? Because so many women are ambitious but hold themselves back. They shrink or they're worried that they're too ambitious or they're too this. How have you made peace with that? And even what is it advice you give to others who were still stuck in the shrinking category as opposed to the bold category?

Embodying The Next Version Of You

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I had to show up before I had the title of vice president in healthcare. I had to show up before I felt like I was ready. So it was really just kind of like embodying, okay, here you got quiet with yourself. These are the two things you said you wanted to do or how you wanted to show up, start acting in that way. And then it starts to feel, you know, at the beginning, it's like, ugh, you know, who's looking, who's watching? And then you just get to a point where it's like, I know my career track, I know what I'm capable of, and you really start owning it and walking into it. So, my biggest piece of advice, and I know it kind of feels a little woo-woo sometimes, but really just start to embody it and believe it in yourself, pour into what that next version of yourself is that you want to be, and just lean into it. That you have that desire in your heart or your spirit for a reason. So lean into it, follow it, and you just kind of trust the process.

Jo Stone (Host) 5:47

We say that a lot around here. Trust the process. But I also would love to talk a little about how do women start this process of trusting themselves, of making the time to get quiet and really leaning in and owning it. Because I see, I'm sure you do too in your work, so many women undervalue themselves, whether it's doing multiple roles and not getting paid for it, or waiting until working really, really hard, putting their head down and bum up and hoping that someone will notice. What are some things that either you've done or you can see and you coach women to do to make that switch from almost that external validation that they're craving to more of that internal fire?

From Self-Doubt To Self-Data

Visibility Plans And Sponsorship

SPEAKER_00 6:29

There is no shortage of talent with women. Generally, how are our systems set up? They're not set up to support us. I feel like a lot of times it's like, oh, what am I doing wrong? And it's like, no, it's not always what we are doing wrong. How are our environments set up, whether that's personally, professionally, are they pouring into us and are they supporting what we want to do? So I feel like we are taught to be excellent and not visible or helpful and not powerful and own that authority. So to your point, we overqualify ourselves. This is a stat here that women apply when we are 100% ready. We've got all 10 boxes checked, all the requirements, and then just at a merely 60% readiness. So that already tells you there's a gap there, right? So some of those root causes, perfectionism. And I am still personally working through this myself. So again, kind of waiting to feel ready. And I'm not that way so much in my career. It's just more about more personal and motherhood that I'm still kind of working through. Or we're also, we're generally people pleasers. So fear of being disruptive to relationships or changing things up or being seen as too much, like you mentioned. And then another big thing that I feel like there's a lot of opportunity for our organizations is the overall lack of sponsorship. So, who is in that room saying our names when opportunities arise and we're not in that room? So, some of the exercises that I take myself, everything that I do with my clients, I do with myself. So, helping them shift from that self-doubt to self-data. And it's like, okay, what does self-data mean? Track your results. Whether that means have a brag book, write all of the things that you've accomplished, the amount of money you've saved your company, the amount of people you've been able to retain. Those are just some examples. Because numbers and facts and overall numbers, it silence that imposter syndrome. It's facts, right? The facts are the facts. Also, building that visibility plan. So, what exactly does that mean? What rooms do you want to be in? Who do you want to connect with? And then start to kind of like a web, connect the dots of okay, I want to be in XYZ board meeting. I know that, you know, my manager from X department is there. Start to cultivate those relationships. So really just putting yourself out there. Um, but you got to have a plan. You gotta have a plan. And then also asking yourself, what would I do if I wasn't afraid of being seen? Or how would I move differently if I weren't afraid of being seen? And again, those 15 minutes, sit and journal it out. There is power in pen or pencil to paper. I know we all have our phones and you can speak into things nowadays, but truly, you'd be amazed at what kind of comes out when you're able to get quiet with yourself and just start to write some things down. So those are some of the things that I see and some ways to kind of overcome that.

Jo Stone (Host) 9:16

I love the way we're talking about visibility because I'm a big proponent of this as well. I still remember I had a chairman sit me down and say, Joe, you need to spend as much time talking about what you've done as doing it. And that was game-changing advice for me. But what would you say to women who turn around and will say, Yeah, but Kara, I've got so much on. Have you seen my list? I'm too buried in the work, I'm putting out the fires, I'm the problem solver, I don't have time to post on LinkedIn or to promote myself or to build these networks because I'm doing too much work. And if I don't do it, who will? How do you answer that objection that 95% of women who haven't done this work have?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

My first question would be what is the cost of staying where you're at right now? And I don't just mean money, I mean your time, your health, your promotion in your career. And that honestly stops people in their tracks. And they're like, I didn't think about it like that. Because with salary negotiation, for example, let's use easy numbers. If you delay asking for a 10K raise for 18 months, two years, because you're so busy, you're doing all the things, it compounds. So I like to tie it to those types of values, and then it really is eye-opening for women to say, wow, you're right. And then in my coaching, that's where I kind of support to the next steps of doing that. Okay. How do we get you out of this busyness? How do we do we set 30 minutes aside? Do you meet with your mentor every two weeks, once a month? We have to have some accountability within this process.

Jo Stone (Host) 10:42

Yeah, absolutely. And as you say, there has to be a mindset shift, doesn't there? To decide to not wait for the shoulder tap or not to be given permission by someone else to say you're now ready for promotion, which is what so many women do. They outsource their career to someone else or to circumstance instead of getting in the driver's seat. What rooms do I want to be in? And what do I need to do to get there? I often say we need to become the CEO of our own lives, not wait for somebody else. We've spoken a little bit about some of the drivers of confidence. As women look to step up into say next level of leadership or executive roles, what do you see as some things that they need to build within themselves?

The Cost Of Staying Busy

Acting Your Way Into Confidence

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Confidence isn't always innate, right? It's not something we generally just grow up and have, especially not as women in the world that we live in. So it is built truly through repetition, clarity, competence, and I'm big, big, big on community. And so, to your point, you don't wait for confidence to act, you act your way into confidence. So, some of the three things that I think about when it comes to confidence, I know people like to call it executive brand. What are your non-negotiables, right? So when I got into my current role and I was a mother, that's the first thing I determined. I was like, okay, I want an organization that does X, and these are the things that are important to me that I'll be able to do. Flexibility to do this. I want my travel percentage at X percentage, like just really figuring out what those things are. And then competence through preparation. So again, know your data. So that could be again your personal data, meaning what you've accomplished, and your industry data so that you can speak to things and people, you know, people's ears start to perk up and they're like, oh, like she's not always just the note taker, you know, the unfortunate note taker. She actually knows what's going on in XYZ said industry, right? Um, so know your data, know your metrics, and then again, really understanding and knowing your wins and being able to speak and articulate that. When you truly go back and you're like, wow, like I've done a lot, I've accomplished a lot. A community of mirrors. And what I mean by that is again, personally and professionally. I'll start with personal, right? So at home, or you know, your partner, your spouse, your circle of friends, surrounding yourself with women and colleagues and partners who remind you who you are when you forget, right? When you're getting, when you're deep down in that busyness, someone that's gonna be like, hey Kiara, I'm really impressed that you did really did, you know, well on that report, right? And so, because it's so easy to just kind of be in the motion and do all the things that you forget what your contributions actually were and what they actually mean, and the value that you, you know, you've brought to the table again, personally and professionally. And so, again, some practices keep that brag book. It could be a digital folder of wins, compliments that you've gotten from customers or colleagues, impact metrics that you've obtained, you know, start each week asking, you know, what would confident Chiara do this week, right? What how would I step into that meaning a little bit differently? How would I respond differently or to XYZ meeting? And then kind of what we were talking about earlier, that mindset shift of replacing I'm not ready with I'm prepared to do X. I know it seems simple, but like internal gaining that clarity, and it is truly, in my opinion, a path it creates a path for you. And you just have the next step is like taking that next step to lean into it.

Jo Stone (Host) 14:11

Yeah. What do you say to women who will say, I guess, Gara, I'll keep a brag book, but I don't want to tell anybody else because I'm worried that they'll think I'm too much or I'm too ambitious, or I'm gonna get a big head in Australia. We call it tall poppy syndrome, where we like to shoot you up and then chop your head off and bring you back down to earth. A lot of women live in fear of that level of rejection or being called too much. Is the whole too much too ambitious. Is that something you've embraced, or how have you made peace with that?

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Oh, I've embraced it. People will literally tell me, oh, you're doing too much. Oh, you're doing that? Oh, you're yes, I am. And guess what? It fulfills me. I'm driven by the work that I do, and that's in healthcare. That's especially true with working with women when it comes to their careers and their money, because there's a lot of opportunity there, and it's my passion. I I have gotten to the point where at this point, I think in life, the only thing that people could probably say that would hurt me is something around my child. But I've embraced and I've leaned into being too much, and I'm okay with that. I am fully okay with that. Now that's taking some time, but everyone, you know, it's funny. At this point, everyone kind of says, well, we wouldn't expect anything less from you, KR. You know what I mean? Like that's just that's just who you are, you know. So I fully embraced it. I mean, I still am trying to work on delegating a little bit more, uh, creating support systems at work because there's always plenty to do in healthcare. But yes, I've embraced being too much, and that's okay. That's what you want to title me as, totally fine. But it doesn't impact me in the way that it used to earlier in my career.

Owning “Too Much” Without Apology

Jo Stone (Host) 15:49

I love that. That's something so powerful, isn't there? In taking a label that maybe once upon a time hurt you or has been designed for generations to keep us small and going, you know what? I am. I'm not gonna try to reject that label and pretend that I'm not, I'm just gonna say, yeah, I'm too much, but I'm me. And that's what the world needs more of is women being too much of themselves, whatever that looks like for them.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Yeah, I was gonna say, and being too much means different things, probably for you and for me, and for the next woman. So that's why you can't always get caught up in what other people are easier said than none. You can't always get caught up in what other people's opinions of you are, because it it's coming from there's a perspective that is coming from on their end that has probably nothing to do with you, right? Maybe it's something that you know learned behavior in childhood. I mean, there's so many things that it can be coming from, but don't let them project that on you.

Jo Stone (Host) 16:43

What have you seen is the relationship? This may seem obvious, but between someone's level of confidence and what they're able to earn. Because I know you're an executive career and money coach, obviously those two things come hand in hand. Most people would put their hand up and say, I'd like some more money. Most women are overlooked and underpaid. What do you see the link between those two and how people begin to unlock more wealth and worth?

Confidence And Compensation Mechanics

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Yes. So again, kind of back to when you know what you bring to the table. So again, whether that's those impact metrics, I actually had a client who was actually very nervous about applying to a director level role. And I'm like, why? You literally have been doing this role. You know, you don't have the title, which often women, unfortunately, that's kind of happens with us. And I said, I like to take it back to basics. This this stuff doesn't have to be hard and all of that. So, kind of with my coaching, I start with understanding what I call your career story. What is your first memory? What does a career mean to you? What did a job mean to you, right? Even if you were five years old and it's like, oh, well, I felt like my mother always had to work, etc. And then I also start with, what is your first money memory, right? Was it when you were five at church in the church plate was being passed around and you grabbed 25 cents to go get a candy? Like, whatever those stories are for you, what are those narratives that are living inside of you? So I like to pull all of those out. And then I start from the start of the career. That makes sense, right? Not what you did in high school and so forth after college. And I said, let's just go through your career journey, let's build that out. And then it just is a light bulb, another light bulb moment for women. And they're like, wow, like I forgot I did that project where I save, you know,$50,000 a month for, you know, X result. Um, and so seeing those things and understanding those stories and narratives really helps women build that confidence on the other side of it. It is a process, you have to go through it. It can be uncomfortable, a little painful, but when you're willing to own that stuff and then you get to the other side of it, that confidence shoots through the roof. And then your why, right? Like, are you doing it for your kids? Are you doing it for yourself? Are you doing it for both? You know, whatever that why is. So I kind of tie all of that in together to really boost the confidence. And of course, we do some practice as well, too. But I see that when we are able to do those exercises and the confidence shoots up, then they feel so much more comfortable to ask for the more money, the salary negotiation and confident with salary negotiation, not just asking, oh, can I get 5,000 more? No, market says that marketing director in my area is this value. This is where I'm currently at. This is a gap. This is what I've been able to do for the company. This is what I'm asking for. This is what my impact to the company. And then again, that's facts, right? It's not something it wasn't feelings, it's not something you made up. So that's kind of a little exercise that I take my clients to when they're like, oh, I'm kind of scared. I'm just nervous. I'm like, why? Why? I understand why. Let's go through that exercise. It's a long exercise, but let's go through that, build that confidence up, and then you will feel so much better about walking into that meeting confidently and asking for, you know. Dollars that you're requesting.

Jo Stone (Host) 20:01

It's nothing like tapping into a bit of female rage about how much they have done and how much they have not been rewarded for it to give them the to get in there and be like, no, I'm not gonna be taken advantage of anymore. Something magic happens in. Do you see that too?

Creative Negotiation Beyond Salary

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I I often have to remind them. Again, I like to monetize it in the set or multiply it, right? I'm like, okay, you're scared to ask now. That is a$32, you know, an hour. I'm making this up,$32 an hour difference times 365 days. You said you wanted to be able to pay for your child's college. Well, guess what? It's right there. But it's you're not gonna have that right now because you're not asking for it. Or it's gonna have to come from a different source or your retirement. You know what I mean? But yeah, I get, I let me take a deep breath because I get super fired up as well, too, when women, when we just don't ask, you know, when we just just leave money on the table. And you know, I was telling another client this as well as sometimes it's not always monetized, right? But it could be maybe flexible with your days off, or maybe they could help you uh with loan repayment for school or something like that, or maybe it's your transportation ticket, something to that effect. Like you can get really creative with your ask if they are just hard no on the money. There are other things that you can certainly ask for as well, too, even though I'm a big fan of the money because the money ultimately compounds, which is the way to wealth. Your biggest asset is time.

Jo Stone (Host) 21:28

Absolutely. I'm with you. Start with the salary bucket, and then once that's tapped out, then you get creative and you find all kinds of other ways that you can get it. Yes. Absolutely. Kiara, is there anything that we haven't talked about today that we should or need to to impart some of your amazing wisdom on these women?

One Bold Step This Week

SPEAKER_00 21:48

I would say for, I mean, this applies for the women, but particularly for mothers, that motherhood can truly sharpen your ambition. Like, I wish I had more time to do a study on the ROI of mothers and companies because if you want to get something done in a certain time frame, ask a mother to do it, right? Like, we got to figure out how to do all these things, work, the house, the kids' activities, all of that. Like, trust me, mothers will get things done. Also, just reminding people that fear and perfectionism keep women from stepping up. So that is what's keeping you small. So your first step is just to name it. You don't have to figure out the other stuff just yet. Just say, I'm afraid of X. Just say it out loud and name it and own that, and then seek help, whether that be from a coach like ourselves or um, you know, a trusted colleague or partner or something like that. And then lastly, I'll end with reminding women that confidence is truly a muscle. So you gotta flex it, you gotta use it, you gotta, you know, maybe do a different exercise or something to just really build that up and overall strengthen it. So I'm gonna leave our listeners with one thing. So choose an area, whether that's motherhood, your career, or your money, and encourage you to take one bold step this week, whatever that may be. It doesn't have to be big. It can be, you know, something you're starting with. Just buy a notebook for your brag book and write down one thing that day that you get your book. And so I just want to encourage women to just step out boldly. It is a little scary, especially when you're the first one to do something, but just think about the doors and the opportunities that you are opening for all the other women and young girls behind you.

Jo Stone (Host) 23:39

That ripple effect can be so powerful, can't it? Gotta start with us. That's our job. So, Carol, where can people find out more about you? If they want to learn more about your journey, what it is that you do, where's the best place?

SPEAKER_00 23:50

Yeah, so I'm on Instagram at the Anchorco. And then also my website that I'm very proud of, it's www.anc-h e rc o.com. So those are the two best ways to find out. And please reach out. Like, I love having conversations in the DMs, ask me any questions. I'm just overall happy to be a resource because I feel very strongly that for women, particularly mothers, that your career and your money go hand in hand. They support one another. So please reach out and I'd love to continue the conversation.

Jo Stone (Host) 24:21

Wonderful. We'll put all those details in the show notes. Please reach out to Kiara. She's got some great advice, like you said, a beautiful website. And uh thank you for joining me today.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Thank you, Joe. Take care.

Jo Stone (Host) 24:34

Thanks for being here today. If this episode moved you, share it with a woman who needs it. And if you're feeling generous, a quick review helps these stories reach more women. To go deeper and to start shaping your 2026 vision, visit balanceinstitute.com. See you next time.