This One Shift Will Give You More Energy Than Any Holiday

When your calendar looks perfect but your body says no, something deeper is going on. Jo sits down with women’s transition coach and transformation specialist Nicole Adey to trace how high achievement, grief, and people pleasing quietly drain energy until the body forces a reckoning. Nicole’s story moves from Asia-Pacific executive life to divorce, loss, a health scare, and the surprising discovery that leaving the job didn’t fix the fatigue. What did? Learning to feel again, practising somatic tools, and rebuilding energy through small, repeatable choices.

We explore energy as life’s real currency and introduce a simple 100‑unit daily audit that makes hidden leaks obvious. Think background apps: rumination, guilt, perfectionism, future-tripping. Nicole shares her two-for-two practice—two minutes, twice a day—to replace numbing habits with quick refuels: light and air instead of scrolling, water over late coffee, a sparkling mocktail over wine, a walk or a call to someone you love. The goal isn’t a spa day; it’s everyday stability that compounds. Along the way, we talk about the hardest boundaries to hold—often with our kids—and how saying no at night can make you a more patient, present parent in the morning.

If you’re craving clarity, steadier focus, and the confidence to make career and money moves without burning out, this conversation gives you the map and the micro steps. You’ll leave with a kinder framework, language for the real drains, and practices you can start today that build momentum all week. Nicole also points to free resources to help you set boundaries and track your energy with ease. Explore more at https://www.achangeofseasons.com.au/ 

Like what you heard? Follow the show, share it with a woman who needs it, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find these tools. To go deeper into your 2026 vision, head to balanceinstitute.com and start building a life you actually love.

The Balance & Beyond Podcast Hosted by Jo Stone, founder of The Balance Institute

For women who are already succeeding, but beginning to wonder if they're willing to keep losing themselves in the process.

We know high achievers, because we are one. This podcast draws on Jo's 20 years in global leadership and thousands of hours coaching executives and ambitious women: the patterns she sees, how to untangle them, and what it actually takes to keep your success without paying for it with yourself.

If something landed today, there's more where that came from.

And if you know a woman this would resonate with, send it her way.

🎙️https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast
🔗 www.balanceinstitute.com
💼https://au.linkedin.com/in/stonejoanne
📷 @therealjostone

Transcript

Summer Sessions Setup

Jo Stone (Host) 0:04

Welcome to the Balance and Beyond Summer Sessions. Conversations to reignite your vision for the year ahead. Each episode, I speak with women who built success without sacrifice and turned burnout into breakthrough. Their stories aren't about doing more. They're about becoming the woman who builds the life she actually loves. If you're ready to step into 2026 with clarity and conviction, take a breath. Let's dive right in. Welcome to Balance and Beyond. And today I am joined by Nicole Aidy, who is a women's transition coach and transformation specialist. We're going to be talking all things energy, what depletes us, how to get more of it, and how to find more zest for life. Welcome, Nicole. Hi Joe, thank you. Glad to be here. So so many of us are busy and we've got a lot on, and there's a whole lot of exhaustion. What tends to happen when we live from this constant state of depletion?

Burnout Creep And The Hamster Wheel

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Yeah, sometimes I think it creeps up on us. And often, you know, and you talk about this a lot in your show, it creeps up on us, and before you know it, you do hit that wall. And sometimes I think it's easier just to keep going. You know, and I feel from my past it was easier to keep going than to stop and reflect and perhaps go inward and recognize and become aware. And you know, a lot of it you've got control over. So I think sometimes it's easier just to keep going. You know, you're on that hamster wheel, and you know, it's much easier just to keep going, even though you feel okay at the time, you don't realize that the impact it's having on your body and your mind.

Jo Stone (Host) 1:52

Absolutely. You had a big burnout episode yourself, didn't you? You had a moment where you woke up and realized that you were living from a state of depletion and that maybe you didn't want to be on the hamster wheel. Would you be able to share with us what was your journey? I think it's such an important point and opportunity for us to share different burnout journeys because it looks different for everyone. So, what was your experience?

Corporate Pressure, Divorce, And Grief

Hitting The Wall And Leaving Work

Somatics, Illness, And Wake-Up Calls

Forgiveness And Self-Compassion

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Absolutely. So I was in the corporate world for over 25 years. My most recent role was vice president of Asia Pacific. So I was managing teams across Asia Pacific, so time zones. I reported into a CEO in New York. So I was up very early. We had teams in Europe, so our telecalls were very late. Again, like I said, I was really on that hamster wheel. And a lot of it was ego-driven. You know, I loved the money, it was great, the titles were great, the travel was fantastic. And then it all sort of started crashing down in 2021 when I went through a divorce. Um, it was on the back of COVID, working from home, juggling homeschooling, trying to manage that job. You know, unfortunately, my marriage probably came last, and as a result, we went through a separation and divorce. And later in that year, I lost my dad to cancer. Um, and I was on that hamster wheel. I just kept going because I didn't want to face the emotions and the feelings that were there because it made it too real. And if I just kept going, I could just push it away and suppress them. And unbeknownst to me at the time, you know, all your emotions and feelings are stored in your body. And so I kept going and going and then moved into a single mum role where you know the mental load was big enough, but then when you move into that single mum mode and you've got the kids most of the week, you really do assume all of that because it's easier to manage all that admin and that mental load. So that continued for a little bit longer, and then I hit a wall 2023, and I said, right, something's got to change. I know I'm gonna leave my job and have a break. That's gonna fix everything. That's right, and you talk about that a lot, and I think it's really good to share that story, you know, my story, because I found myself more exhausted after I took that time off. So I finished uh in September 23. By October, November, I was even more exhausted and feeling more because I wasn't I wasn't going through a structure anymore, and I had jumped off that hamster wheel, I felt very lost. And then my the rumination start started, and you know, the thoughts and the feelings started coming through from the divorce, from you know, my dad's death that I'd suppressed. Um, and I was sort of because I wasn't busy every day working, I was left with those emotions and thoughts, and they were now what I realized were wearing me down and making me even more exhausted because I had nowhere to put them, I didn't know how to process them. Um, and I because I was that busy working mum, I'd never have to had to deal with that before. So that was a big realization. Um, and then you know, it took me some time um to to work through that, and end of the year I discovered I had breast cancer, and that was a big wake-up call for me. And we talk about you know, emotions and storing emotions and energy emotion, and and I I do believe that my unprocessed grief and guilt from the divorce, my dad's passing, all those feelings, being on that house wheel for so long did lead to my illness. We're we're a contributor, absolutely. Um, and so that was a big wake-up call for me. And that's how I got into what I do now, you know, through the somatic work I did, which was incredible, learning about the mind-body connection and the importance of pausing and listening. And now I do what I do, you know. I I studied the holistic health and coaching, mind-body work, and now I work with other women and help them go through uh to rebuild after transitions and help them through different transitions in their life as well. Because yeah, it it's such an incredible journey. Once you dig in and realize what you're holding within, you you realize that you cannot move forward um in a fulfilling way until you process and let those layers go, you know, and peel them back. So yeah, in a snapshot, that's sort of what got me here. And yeah, I've um I've gone through a lot of different experiences. So now career change as well. So navigated a lot, um, learnt a lot, but absolutely energy throughout that whole process was a key factor in in the way I lived my life.

Hidden Drains: Guilt, Rumination, People Pleasing

Jo Stone (Host) 6:49

Yeah. I was gonna say, what was the most there's a lot of change in that, in what you shared, you know, separation, breast cancer, grief, loss. But I'm curious of all of that, which was the hardest part for you to face? Was it actually staring those emotions in the face that you put away for so long?

SPEAKER_01 7:13

The biggest challenge I found um was forgiving myself. I had so much guilt that I wasn't aware of. More towards my children, moving them away from this family unit. Um, I had the grief of realizing that I wasn't going to live the life that I'd dreamed about with my partner for the last 15, 20 years that we were together, you know, and I felt enormous guilt for my children, breaking, you know, up their family unit, family home. I still feel that guilt, but I did learn to start forgiving myself and start processing those feelings and emotions. Um, and that was a key challenge for me, you know, and I still it's still a challenge today, but I'm much better at processing, recognizing them, accepting them, and letting them go. And it's taken me the last two or three years to to learn how to do that. But that was an absolute game changer for me. Um, but certainly forgiving myself. I think that was the biggest challenge and showing myself the self-compassion that I now know I deserve. Um yeah.

Jo Stone (Host) 8:31

That's so hard for so many women to do, isn't it? We beat ourselves up, we hold ourselves to such crazy, unrealistic standards. So to give ourselves the care and love that we would with a friend who was going through the same thing.

The 100-Unit Energy Audit

SPEAKER_01 8:43

I am that friendly. Can it feel like a stress there for people going, you know, this and that. And then when I looked at it and reflected, I realized, Nicole, you don't do that for yourself ever. You know, you're the one that's always putting everyone else first. Terrible at setting boundaries, terrible, terrible. You know, until I reflected, I was like, my gosh, I was always a yes girl, big people pleaser growing up, high achiever, perfectionist, you know, ticking all the boxes that your audience are very well aware of. Um, and it's those hidden energy drains that I realized have the biggest impact on your day-to-day. It's not necessarily oh, the nine to five job, or oh my gosh, rushing the kids out to sporting events or practice, or you know, it's not those necessarily those things. It's the thoughts and feelings and the rumination that the past conditioning, the guilt, oh the regret, oh, if I had done this, I had done that. That constant rumination is exhausting and debilitating. It is absolutely debilitating. So it's so critical uh for the women out there to really understand that it you've got they've got to take the time to pause and reflect and recognize and acknowledge and process. Um, because it it is difficult, it takes practice, but it does free up a lot more energy for the things that you want to spend the time on family, friends, love, relationships, having fun, creativity, you know, self-love, self-care.

Jo Stone (Host) 10:14

So absolutely. So talk to me about energy. It's the one thing that women always want more of. And so they don't have enough of. What have you learned about energy as part of this process?

Micro Changes Beat Big Overhauls

Two-For-Two: Tiny Daily Resets

SPEAKER_01 10:31

And you know, at that time I was probably doing 50, 60 hours a week. Um, and I felt more exhausted a few weeks later than I did when I was working, and I thought that can't be right, something's not right here. Um, and then I did some somatic work with a therapist and really went into my body, and I realized just the level of energy blocks that I had. And that's when I started looking at when I started researching, studying the energy allocation, so our personal energy, and realizing that nearly half of my daily energy I felt at that time was probably going to past worries, like the rumination of the guilt, the regret, the past conditioning, the people pleasing, the high achieving, you know, the expectations I put on myself, and also worrying about the future because now I was navigating a completely different landscape, you know, financially, you know, my children, living arrangements. Um, you know, my my mom's now on her own because my dad passed away, you know, worrying about her. So, you know, all these things are churning in the background. Um, and and I and I like to sort of the analogy is sort of those on those those apps on your phone that you're not active on, but they're just draining that energy, that battery. Um, and after a while it can really take its toll. So, energy for me, I've realized it's my life currency, and I feel that it's probably the life currency for most people. People look at financial and time management, and I think energy, personal energy management is absolutely key to our well-being and um happiness.

Jo Stone (Host) 12:27

And so if you're listening to this and going, Oh, never thought about it that way, I am saying yes to everything. I am ruminating on the past and worrying about the future. Where do you begin to even understand where your energy is going and how much you might be able to rejoice is imagine if you wake up and you've got 100% of an internal battery, just like your phone.

Permission, Boundaries, And Saying No

Modelling Energy For Our Kids

SPEAKER_01 12:50

So you're on 100%. And then obviously throughout your day, you've got, you know, you're most of us are working, might be studying, we've got children, we're juggling responsibilities, we've got admin, logistics, etc. Um, and then what we do the first one is just to notice, notice your energy, visualize it. Okay, I've got a hundred units here, and then to reflect on where is it actually going? So at the end of the day, it could be as simple as just grabbing a bit of paper and a pen or a journal and just jotting down what are the key things that happen today, you know. I worked, I did this, I did that, you know, I may have done some exercise, may have gone for a walk, um, I had a bath. So you've got drainers and you've got givers. So you've got the pluses and the minuses, and it's all about balance. And if we start with 100 units, then we look at also the past, the rumination, the conditioning. What did I say yes to today that I really didn't want to say yes to? You know, that people pleasing that's coming through. Um, you know, the high chebbing. You know, did I spend an extra half an hour on this project or this report that was perfect an hour ago? You know, and now I'm running short and I'm missing lunch and I'm eating at my desk because I spent too long doing that, or helping someone that really I should have just said, look, you work on that yourself. All those little things, it's self-sacrifice. And you know, you've mentioned before self-abandonment, and it's those micro abandonments, which I love that term, that we do that catches up on us and drains that 100% battery. And it's also the future. So during the day, you might have thought, oh my gosh, I've got to do this next week, and I've got to do this on the weekend, and I've got to, oh my gosh, how are we gonna juggle this? And oh my gosh, we've got you know, a camp next week, I've got to all those little bits and pieces as well. So it's visualizing your energy as 100%, and then recognizing all the little things during the day from not only physical but the mental and emotional drains that take away from that 100%, and also look at what's adding to it. And for most of us, especially busy career women, there's not much adding to it because you're not having that long bath, and you know, and you're not going for that walk, you're not going to the gym, you know, you're not doing that creative class after work because you've got to get home cooked dinner and you've got to get kids to bed. So you're not having the bath, you're trying to get them in the bath. So there's a whole lot of you know, it it's really just writing it down and becoming aware of it. And that's sort of the next step is becoming aware of it.

Jo Stone (Host) 15:39

Did you find in this process that a lot of what you mentioned there are the little things? You obviously, once upon a time, were of the belief that it's the job, I'll just quit the job. Have you found in your work that women often want big swathing silver bullet changes, like, well, it's obvious the job, I'll quit the job, or it's the husband and I'll quit the marriage, or thinking that these big changes when in reality it is absolutely the micro. It is the little things that actually are draining us more than we realize.

Where To Find Nicole’s Resources

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Looking at the big things is taking a shortcut for a quick fix. And from my experience, I've done it, it doesn't work. Okay, I'm here to tell you. I did quit the marriage, I did quit my job. I did look at moving to the country, rural, out of the city, because I thought, oh, you know, I can my housing price will be lower, and I won't have the stress of the higher rent and you know, all these types of things. Um doesn't work. What does work is the small micro things every day. And you know, we use the word micro and I love that micro experiments, micro commitments. And the exciting thing is for your audience, is it's so much more achievable.

Reflection And Closing CTA

Jo Stone (Host) 16:48

What have you seen is the relationship? This may seem obvious, but between someone's level of confidence and what they're able to earn your executive career and money coach, those two things come hand in hand. Most people would put their hand up and say, I'd like some more money. Most women are overlooked and underpaid. What do you see the link between those two and how people begin to unlock more wealth and worth?

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Have better clarity, and it's such an exciting process because you can actually manage this and do this daily, and it can be very simple. And I think what we're all looking for is a simple fix. But the simple fix isn't those big grandiose um decisions, it's those small micro ones that you're talking about. Yeah, absolutely.

Jo Stone (Host) 17:41

How do you get women to accept that? Because I find so much resistance to the well, that's just five minutes. It's not going to help. I need, I need a day at the spa or I need you know a weekend away in Bali by myself without a soul. So there is such fighting, I find, when we sit there and say it's the micro commitments, like, no, no, that's not enough. It's like the hyper brain gets blown by the simplicity of the actual solution.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Those micro commitments, because we don't have one-off sessions, you know. Obviously, there's a few weeks, things don't happen in one week. You know, this is and also women, if they want to make change, you know, we need to commit. We need to, we need to commit to ourselves. You know, we can set boundaries for others, but the biggest boundary we should set is for ourselves. That's the most important relationship we're ever going to have. So, you know, committing to boundaries for ourselves. So I am going to um, instead of scrolling on my phone, lying on the couch, which I find I think is relaxing, you know, it's also bringing awareness to the fact that that's not relaxing. You know, having that extra coffee in the afternoon, okay, that's nice, but try a glass of water instead, because that and it could be just simple steps. And I with my clients use a two-for-two, and it's super simple, got to be less than a couple of minutes, and then it builds. So we start with a couple of minutes twice a day. So it could be, you know, instead of scrolling on my phone, I'm going to go out and get some nice, deep, fresh air during the day, during my workday, you know, right, you know, on my lunch break instead of eating at my desk, I'm actually going to eat somewhere else and talk to someone and engage and have that level of connection with someone. Uh, or I might call someone, you know, I might call my mum because I haven't checked in on her for a while and tell her I love her rather than scroll through Facebook. Um, you know, so it's just those micro decisions and commitments. For me, you know, a big one was I used to love coming home and have a glass of wine because I was like, I deserve it, and I feel so much more relaxed. And this is kind of the transition, and now I'm in mum mode. I don't do that anymore because it was, you know, I'd have one and then two, and then when we didn't, you know, and I just found myself foggy and I was like, Like, this is ridiculous, and it's just those little things like instead of having that glass of wine, go for a glass of mineral water in a wine glass, put a dash of lemon or lime in it, make it look fancy. But it's just those little micro things. Um if you've got a negative thought, perhaps you know, try and flip it, challenge it, you know, um, think about something positive or just a piece of gratitude, you know, not instead of negative, you know, have some gratitude. Um, there's so many little two for twos. So as you said, you know, it's like just try, you know, what I say to my clients is just you give me two micros, two minutes per day, and then let's look at it later in the week. And when we do the audit, it's a daily thing for a week. So it's seven days, so there's 700 units, 100 units per day. And then what you do find, maybe not always in the first week, but certainly by the second week, you know, you might be 120, 110, then getting closer to 100, 100, because there's that conscious, because you're looking at this map every day, it's like, oh gosh, I'm at 140. I need to do something. I'm gonna go and have a really nice long hot shower. Or, you know what, tonight instead of watching Netflix, I'm gonna lie in bed and read a book. Or, you know, I'm gonna take my cup of tea outside and sit in the sun rather than have it at my desk. So it's just those little things, and then you get that rebalance.

Jo Stone (Host) 21:30

There's a beautiful thread of intentionality through a lot of what you just shared, that conscious choice to I choose me, I choose to focus on myself, even if it's just two minutes. So I know you said forgiving yourself was a big piece, but I hear through a lot of your work around energy is also a really big permission slip to do this, the intentional choice to put yourself first. We've all heard a gazillion times, put your oxygen mask on, but to actually not just hear that and dismiss it and go, well, I can't, so maybe there's another way to do this. Would you say permission here is a really big part of stepping into this work?

SPEAKER_01 22:08

And I think if you reframe it, you're giving yourself permission to be the best version of yourself so that you can be of service to others in even a greater way and a more loving way and a more compassionate way. So we do all have control and who go, I haven't got time to do two for two. We're talking two blocks of two minutes a day. We we just are consciously just making a change, and then before you know it, those two for twos they accumulate, and you're gonna have you're gonna have leftover units of energy to go, hey kids, let's grab the dog, let's go for a walk tonight, you know, daylight savings, or you know, let's um get up earlier and do something, or I'm gonna get up earlier and go for that walk before everyone else gets up, or you know what, I'm we're gonna I'm gonna go and have a bath. And it's just those little things, and and we talk about boundaries. The the most difficult boundaries that I had to set were with my children, and it wasn't really with other people, it was with my children because of that guilt factor. So, oh mum, can I come and sleep with you tonight? Yeah, okay. You know, and then you'd be kicking all night and you wouldn't get the sleep, and then you'd wake up and you're foggy, and you're like, Yeah, but you know what, they need me. For me, setting boundaries with my children was one of the biggest challenges that I that I found. But now I realize that I am such a more present I wouldn't say caring, present passionate mum because I do have those energy levels back, and you think, oh no, I'm I'm doing that for them. No, no, you've got to you're gonna give them more by setting boundaries um and giving yourself permission to to do the things you want to do your way, and by having the energy, you actually discover what you want to do, what lights you up because you've got to get off the hamster wheel to really stop and go, hang on a minute, is what I'm doing really lighting me up every day? Is this my passion? Is this my purpose? Is this what I love to do? Is this what I want to be doing? And sometimes you have to get off the hamster wheel. Um, so yeah, getting those energy units back um allows you to have that time to think as well.

Jo Stone (Host) 24:29

Such an important part that we have to do to put ourselves first. And I often love the question: whether you had a son or a daughter, would you like them to treat themselves the way you are treating yourself now? Would you like them to sacrifice? Do you want them to silence themselves or to put themselves last? And the answer is always no. I want them to be bold and to be live big and to be fully themselves and to not hide and to not drink. And say, well, they're learning from you. So to have a passionate mum who is full of energy and who might decide that she wants the bed to herself at night, but in the morning, you're fun, you've got more patience, you've got the ability to help them with their homework or whatever they need. I would take an energized, happy, healthy mother over one who is sacrificing herself on the altar of martyrdom any day.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Couldn't agree with you more, Joe. Could not agree with you more. Yeah.

Jo Stone (Host) 25:27

Yeah. So tell me, Nicole, if anybody's interested in learning more about you and the work you do around energy and your two by two model, where can they find that out?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

At my website, www.achangeofseasons.com.au. And I've got lots of resources that are free to download and get started setting boundaries, working through energy frameworks and things. So yeah.

Jo Stone (Host) 25:48

Yeah, wonderful. We'll put all those in the show notes, Nicole. Thank you for joining me today. Hopefully, you've uh walking away from this discussion with perhaps a few questions around where am I spending my energy, where is my 100% going, and what's two minutes I can take for myself today to be a little bit different. So thanks, Nicole.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Thanks, Joe. Thanks, everyone.

Jo Stone (Host) 26:12

Thanks for being here today. If this episode moved you, share it with a woman who needs it. And if you're feeling generous, a quick review helps these stories reach more women. To go deeper and to start shaping your 2026 vision, visit balanceinstitute.com. See you next time.