Rawdogging It (Jo Moment)

A 12-year-old’s “raw dogging it” car ride sparks a sharp look at how easily we turn even the smallest moments into managed outcomes. We unpack how perfectionism hides as preparation and how choosing a little more spontaneity can give us our lives back. 
• a funny teen phrase that reveals a deeper truth about control 
• how capable, high-achieving women over-engineer small moments 
• the hidden cost of managing every outcome and every minute 
• why “high standards” can be perfectionism in disguise 
• practising being surprised and doing things without a plan 
• letting the email, the decision and the car ride be messy enough 
If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today. 
And don't forget to subscribe to Balance and Beyond for full episodes and more of these bite sized breakthroughs.

The Balance & Beyond Podcast Hosted by Jo Stone, founder of The Balance Institute

For women who are already succeeding, but beginning to wonder if they're willing to keep losing themselves in the process.

We know high achievers, because we are one. This podcast draws on Jo's 20 years in global leadership and thousands of hours coaching executives and ambitious women: the patterns she sees, how to untangle them, and what it actually takes to keep your success without paying for it with yourself.

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Transcript

The No-Phone Car Ride

How Adults Over-Engineer Everything

Perfectionism Disguised As Care

Practise Being Without A Plan

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Jo Stone (Host) 0:04

Welcome to Balance and Beyond Moments, your weekly dose of insight, wisdom, and mindset shifts, all in 10 minutes or less. Whether it's a powerful truth, a fresh perspective, or a spark of inspiration, this is your space to pause, reflect, and reset. Let's dive in. My daughter got in the car last night in her pajamas, no shoes, and shock horror, no phone. She announced she was raw dogging it. I'd never heard of the term, but to her, a 10-minute car ride without her phone was living on the edge. I couldn't stop thinking about it. Now, for a 12-year-old to get in the car without these things, it was in the evening. When she said this word raw dogging it, I was like, what on earth? I had never even heard of it. But for those 10 minutes, she really felt like she was living dangerously. She's like, of course I'm raw dogging it. Like, oh my God, I don't understand what you're talking about. Turns out this is a word that used to have some nefarious meaning that teenagers have now repurposed, and it means living on the edge, living dangerously. But it really hit me because the women I work with, capable, successful, high-achiev, have forgotten what it feels like to do anything without engineering the outcome first. And we're not just talking big things here. I mean the little things too. That dinner reservation that we want to make sure is in the right restaurant if ever we go out in the first place. That reply that we rewrite four times before we send and then we send it and then we reread it as we've sent it to make sure it was still okay. That 10-minute car ride that we think, right, I've got 10 minutes. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna listen to this podcast and I make this phone call. I'm gonna do all of this at the same time. We call it being prepared. We say we have high standards, that we care about quality. But at some point, the engineering becomes our default. And when everything requires that level of management, including a 10-minute car ride, the cost shows up. You forget what it's like to actually be surprised, to be spontaneous, to do something and not already know how it ends. I don't know about you, but I even now will go into AI or Google and see the ending of many things I watch because I don't necessarily want to control it. I want to understand how it's going to happen. This isn't a personality type, even though it can feel like it. It's our perfectionism running so deep that it's now not just ruling us at work, but it's managing our leisure time too. This need to engineer everything, to hold on tight to grip, the outcome, the experience, the timing, the feeling. We wrap it up as care, but really it's control. And what it completely robs us of is the ability to just be. Remember that word? Just being, to get in the car and have no plan. Oh my gosh, can you imagine getting in a car without thinking that you had to do something or make some phone call and make use of that time? Because heaven forbid if you're not efficient, to send the email without pre-thinking about it before you write it, or rewriting it and finessing it to make that decision without considering scenarios A through Z and then A1 and A2. So when was the last time you actually rull dogged it? When did you last do something without knowing exactly how it would end? You don't have to engineer everything, the car ride, the email, the decision. You can just do it. Messy, unplanned, without knowing how it ends. It's not reckless, it's not careless, it's not gonna make you lose your edge or fall apart. It's raw dogging it. It's raw dogging it. And maybe that's exactly what you need. My daughter taught me that. In her pajamas, with no shoes and no phone, living on the edge. Maybe today is your turn. Thanks for taking this moment for yourself. If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs to hear it today. And don't forget to subscribe to Balance and Beyond for full episodes and more of these bite sized breakthroughs. See you next time.