Episode 7 - Using Your Voice to Lead, Sell, and Connect with Kim A. Page

How many times a day do you use your voice? And how long do you spend training it? 

In this episode of the "Help Me Unlock" podcast, host Aditi chats with Kim A. Page, a vocal coach, communications expert, and acclaimed facilitator. This edition delves into Kim's method, "The Right Kind of Loud," aimed at enhancing personal impact through communication - virtual and in-person. 

Kim's insights into the art of impactful speaking, her life-long immersion in the arts and her global upbringing shape her unique coaching style. 

The podcast discusses a range of topics, from how to manage an audience to the concept of 'audience suffering' and ways to alleviate it. Along with sharing her learning process, Kim also offers a peek into her Right Kind of Loud toolbox for empowering speakers to new heights. 

She emphasizes the importance of the voice as an embodied tool and the power of storytelling in business, speaking online and its intricacies, discovering where to speak ‘from’ so you can land your message most effectively and more. 

Connect with Kim:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kim-a-page/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kimapagedxb
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kim_a_page/
Website: www.rightkindofloud.com 

Transcript

Speaker A: Hi. Welcome to help me unlock My name is Aditi and this podcast documents my business growth journey, my unlocking journey in real time. At any given point, I am working on unlock business growth, product design, marketing, sales, mindset. I'm figuring out how to dissolve all of the bottlenecks that are getting in my way so that I can take my business to the next level. The thing is, I don't have any answers for you. I'm just making my way along my entrepreneurial journey and I have one repeating question can you help me Unlock? Each episode is a live coaching session with an expert, an author, a thought leader, someone to whom I pose that very question. The help me unloved podcast is serendipity at its best. These conversations are candid, unrehearsed and they're just flowing as they're getting recorded. In every episode, you're going to discover the hidden gem, the secret, the key to unlock that my guest shares at the exact same moment that I discover it. These conversations are also private and precious to me, and sharing them with you is to me, a way of celebrating. You see, I've had the immense pleasure of stumbling onto my life's purpose ever learning, ever sharing and ever serving. I'm delighted that you're diving in, celebrating and discovering with me. Start anywhere you like. I'll see you inside. Hello, and welcome to episode eight of The Help Me Unlock Podcast. I'm your host Aditi, and my guest today is Kim A page. Kim is a vocal coach, communications expert, an ace facilitator, TEDx speaker, and author who helps professionals increase their impact and influence by using the power of their voice. Her method, The Right Kind of Loud, is all about expanding your comfort zone from the inside out. Her first book, the Right kind of loud. Finding your communication voice is part of the curriculum at several business schools. With the rise of virtual meetings and events since the global COVID-19 pandemic, kim has been supporting clients to boost their impact through the screen as speakers and facilitators, as well as getting them ready to create impactful video content. In this episode, Kim and I embark on a journey to unlock the art of impactful speaking. We delve into Kim's lifelong immersion in the arts and how that has shaped her journey as the coach and professional that she is today. Discover the concept of audience suffering, how to alleviate it, and how to leave your audience leaning into your every word. Plus, get a peek into Kim's Right Kind of Loud toolbox to take your speaking to a whole new level. Without further ado, let's welcome Kim A. Page. Kim. Welcome to the Help Me Unlock podcast. I am always grateful to have time with you, but especially today, I'm grateful because this conversation is going to go out to the world.,

Speaker B: Yay. Thank you for welcoming me, Aditi. A pleasure. To be part of helping me unlock that is very much what you do. And off we go.,

Speaker A:I don't even want to waste time and dilly dally here and there because you and I can have conversations that go on forever. What I want to talk about is the right kind of loud because your toolbox changed my life and I want to talk to people about it and have them discover the magic of what is in this toolbox. So tell me, Kim, what is the right kind of loud? Where did it begin and how did that journey start for you?

Speaker B: So if you would have told me in my teens or in my 20s, even in my early 30s, that I was going to be a person who helped professionals get their message through, I would have looked at you with very big eyes and said, what? And I'm very blessed to be here today. So my career journey to get here has been a little meandering. So I grew up in a very artistic family. My father was a classical musician. We listened to music, we went to theater and all of that. So my early life was a lot about the arts and so in my twenty s I was all about finding out different ways to express myself with the arts. So I wrote poetry. I became a singer with a guitarist in Berlin. He was really pushing me along. So you can say the first practice in a way was me standing in a backyard Hinterhof in Berlin. And I had this very funky audience. I remember I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint. And they were at this first concert, there were some kids there and I thought, I can sing to the kids. That feels safe. And that was the first. And then we started having more concerts, we sang at festivals, et cetera. And when you go on stage and he was the guitarist, he was behind me. I was the front person. So I can say it's very brutal and at the same time very efficient. You learn how to manage an audience very fast.,

Speaker A: Absolutely.,

Speaker B: I took voice sessions with a voice teacher and I also learned that whole what do you say to the audience? I remember for example, one time was up in Wedding. We were playing at a place, it was a small cafe, nobody had turned out and there was a couple of people, they were playing a game, a board game right below the stage and they didn't care, right? And it was that kind of anticlimz like what do I do with this? And I actually went over to them and said, guys, do you mind? Can you play in the back? Because I'm going to try to connect with the audience right now and that's not going to be nice. I can't remember if they followed your my advice or my request, but things like know and then you have some audiences, they rave and you're the superstar. And then you have those times where it's just like I did a poetry performance in Roskille in Denmark, and I'd worked like it was my heart, it was my soul. This poetry performance, it was under the skin. It was Swedish and dated poetry. I'd worked on know, I had a choreographer, I had a director, I had Stenographer. I worked on this. This was much later, but I worked so long, and this was at this culture festival night, and there was two people in the audience, and one was really drunk and was screaming and sailing back and forth, and it was just like, okay, girl, you just do this anyway. Long, meandering answer. So I was all about expressing myself. And so I dabbled with poetry, with singing and different and then I had a voiceaholic period when I really got fascinated by what can we do with the voice as such. So I studied lots of different voice tools, became kind of very hooked on that. And I also studied performance, and my first degree is in dramaturgy, which is all about how do you combine the elements in the right way to make your audience laugh or cry or stay attentive and all of that. And then when I turned 30, I thought it's time to become adult and to earn proper money. Because until that stage in my life, I had a separation. You earned money on unqualified jobs there. And then I did my arts, and as an artist, that's actually normal. That's okay. Most actors in New York are waiters, right? That's what you do.,

Speaker A: You earn your living doing something, and.,

Speaker B: Then you do your art. So that was so in the beginning of my career, my first training years, I was teaching creative subjects. And it happened very I didn't even really start it happened organically that somebody found out about my voice techniques and they came to me and said, kim, can you show me how to do this? I thought okay. So I had started giving voice sessions without thinking about it as a career. I just started giving voice sessions. And my first ever workshop was in 1996 in Oslo, where You Are, and it was in Pablo Sierken. It was in a big church that my mom knew. And it was a workshop in overtone chanting.,

Speaker A: Oh, that's amazing.,

Speaker B: Which is a very special way. It's like the monks chant in Tibet. It's a very physical it's a little bit like meditating with the voice. It's very special. So that was my first ever workshop, and I was and then, you know, when I started becoming a freelance trainer, that was in Copenhagen. I did creative writing and I did performing and singing and stuff like that. And then it was so much fun. And I realized that actually for me to become the doorway and watch somebody else find their body, find their voice, find their words, and to get those wings and fly. I felt that was much larger, much bigger than myself because I had spent so much time expressing myself, and I know how to do that, and it's great. It's nice to express myself. That's not the point. It's just the feeling of the humbleness that comes with watching somebody else get access. Because I actually do believe that all of us are natural born storytellers singers, performers. Like, all of us have something that we can share. And unfortunately, when it comes to expressing ourselves, a lot of the times we have inhibitions and wounds that hold us back. So both around writing and speaking and singing and our bodies, there's so much holding us back. So it was a very instant love story. When I started training, I was like, oh, I love this. The people love it, I love it, everybody loves it. It was like very sort of and it was a surprise. I didn't know. And then I did that for a few years, and I wanted some more challenge. And so I had the idea that maybe I can move to the organizational world. And I didn't know about the organizational world at all. Again, I grew up in a very artistic home, so that world was very new to me. So I took a course in management communication at the Business university in Copenhagen, copenhagen Business School. And the professor was from New York and a friend of mine who was helping me at that stage, she said, well, you don't really want his course, do you? You want to see if your modules are relevant in his world. So I said yes. So she said, Why don't you ask him if you can get the course for free? And you offer him two sessions, optional sessions, in non verbal communication and voice connection, because that's what's missing in his curriculum. I would never have done that myself. Aditi. It felt very audacious, but because he was from New York, I did it. If he was Scandinavian, I would never have done it. They would have killed me.,

Speaker A: Really?,

Speaker B: Oh, yes. The oh, that would have been a social. I would never have sent it off.,

Speaker A: Okay, you know about the I do, I do. But I'm still learning so much about it because I'm the opposite of it.,

Speaker B: Exactly. Which is part of why I love you so much. So the antelos, because I grew up with the antelos, I know it. So again, if you have some kind of wild idea like that, you would never send that to a Scandinavian person. She thinks it's too much for the.,

Speaker A: People who are listening, who don't understand the concept. Kim, will you go into yeah, give us a quick minute on what antelopen is.,

Speaker B: Yes. So I grew up in Norway and Sweden, and then I lived in Denmark and Norway. Sweden and Denmark, they all have their versions of what you call the Antelo, and it actually comes from an author. And let me see, because I have it even in my book here, I have a little section about it about working in the Nordic cultures. And so there was an author called Octesandemusa, and the funny thing is, the Norwegian says that he's Norwegian, but the story he's writing a novel about the small town mentality that holds people back when people talk about each other and know very oppressive culture. And the town itself was called Jante and the town itself is Danish. Yanta is in Denmark. So the Dane says that he's and the novel is called inflictnikrishpur or in Danish, inflicting Crystal. And that means in English, a fugitive processes tracks. And honestly, I haven't even read the book, but this is just the origin of this phenomenon. And so it's a small town and everybody's just like and then they have these laws. That's why it's called the antha law. And they're very oppressive. Like, you're not to think you are anything special. You're not to think you are as good as we are. You're not to think you are smarter than we are. You're not to convince yourself that you are better than we are, you're not to think you know more than we do, et cetera. And it's ten laws and they're all like that okay. And it's a very strong social code. And of course you can say the flip side of that is these countries, the Norwegian, Swedish and Danish societies, they build on a collectivistic worldview, like everybody's equal. It's the most egalitarian countries in the world. And the difference between highest and lowest salaries are very small. And in these countries we have a belief that everybody is equally valuable. So that's the positive side of it. But the flip side is the Antelo. And I grew up in these cultures and I mean, the Antelo is fierce and personally I had an extra hard time with it. I was specially gifted as a child, so I was the best in every subject and not a little bit, but insanely, if I would have been somewhere else on the planet, they would have taken me out of those schools and taken me to a different school or maybe change some tracks. But there was no culture around specially gifted because that didn't exist in Norway and Sweden in those years. It exists now, but it was only awareness of people who had special needs when it comes know that they needed extra support. So anyway, so I was bullied intensely, intensely, intensely, intensely my whole school time. Because of course it says in the antelope, you're not supposed to think you know better than I do, you're not supposed to stick. So but I think, honestly, Aditi, anybody who grows up in that culture, they have their own everybody's impacted by the ant law.,

Speaker A: Yeah.,

Speaker B: And it's interesting because when now I'm just showing this, so I'm now holding the right and allowed book in my hand which is my toolbox. And in the last chapter, I talk about how to connect right, in different work culture and the Nordic culture and the Copenhagen culture is part of them. And so that's where I write about this. And I remember when I wrote that, I was like, very curious how my Danish friends would react. I thought first, when I write that chapter, oh my God, my friends in Barcelona are going to hate me. My friends in Copenhagen are going to hate me. My friends in San Francisco are going to hate me. My friends in Dubai, because I write about challenges or things that to watch out. I also write about beautiful things, and I also write a few things that are a little challenging. And it's interesting indeed, in my Danish friends that what do you mean? Like yantela? No. Complete denial. So those who know about it are the ones who move across national borders. I think if you grow up with it and you don't bump up against it, you can be in that. What do you mean? But people who are especially gifted or are different, people who stick out, will have a hard time. You would have had a very hard time. You would not have had a nice time if you grew up in Scandinavia.,

Speaker A: Yeah, no, like you said, the residue of it is everywhere and it's still present. It's not just I'm supposing the kids that grew up with it carry it into their work lives. And so it's a part of work culture here as well. So many times I've been to conferences and events in so many other places where it's like, people won't speak up, people won't share an opinion if it's different or in any way has them standing up, has them raising their hands and standing up, because everyone's just like, no, we don't do that in Norway.,

Speaker B: We don't do that. It's so interesting. Listen to this. This is so interesting. So I went to a very nice networking event a while ago, and it was a dinner, and it was only we were like twelve women or something, and there were two other Norwegian women there. And I was like, whoa. And by the way, to those who listen, I'm Norwegian, English, grew up in Norway, sweden also lived in Denmark and many other places, just so you get that right. It's a little confusing, but it's all good. And so there were two other Norwegian women there, which is just insanely unusual because there's so few Norwegians. So I talked a little bit to one of them, and turns out she's a gallery owner and she's on fire at Et. She's got all these cool galleries. She's got a gallery in New York, she's got one in somewhere else, and she's got the pulse of the modern art. She kicks. And we just talked for five minutes, and I'm going to her exhibition opening next week. It's so cool london Bridge, very fancy. And then she said, yeah, she's very careful with what she shares with the Norwegian market because she said, they kill you until you're very famous. The same thing with Abba. Abba had a very difficult relationship with Sweden because they were so hated, because they were so oh, so they had a really hard time. Oh, yeah. In all the interviews, if you go into that, they talk about that. So this gallery, so it's like the Ant Low works like this that don't stick out, don't think you're better. And then there's like a magical point when you're strong enough for success in that, then suddenly, oh, my God, now.,

Speaker A: You can stick out. You've earned the right.,

Speaker B: You're not allowed to be on your way there. You're only allowed to be there. And so this Gallerist was like she was sharing again how she wouldn't share certain things until she was at a certain level because you know how Norwegians are. And of course, me and being Norwegian, and we're two Norwegians outside of Norway, so we understand each other immediately. Right. We didn't need to have any it was just like, okay, we get so it's a so. This is so. And of course, my father was English and he was very larger than life character. So I had that one part of me, I was third culture kid, and one part of me wasn't Scandinavian even. And again, I was sticking out in every way. My family was different, my talents were different. I really tried to fit in, but it just never worked. So it was like going to an exam you're going to fail every day. That was the feeling. It was harsh, but I mean, everything has its reasons and it made me who I am and it's all good. And at the same time, I will always defend the Scandinavian civilizations, the Egalitarian values. There's a lot of it that I really approve of. It's just that little snippet. So, anyway, I'm going to zoom back to where we were. So thank you for taking that whole everybody now you know about the Antelope. And it's interesting, if you're a foreigner in Scandinavia, sooner or later somebody's going to tell you. The thing is, though, you see, Aditi, you are living in Oslo, but you're not have another. There's a space around you where you're allowed to be different. My thing is I speak like native Norwegian, Swedish and Danish. So because I speak. Although I am not completely Norwegian, Swedish or Danish. I'm half Norwegian and half English. But because I speak it as a native, the expectation is that I'm going to be like them.,

Speaker A: Yeah.,

Speaker B: Because I don't have an accent, I don't have that spaciousness.,

Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. No. And I think what works for me is I have 1ft here and 1ft in markets around the world. And I do business around the world, I work around the world. My clients are everywhere. And so I don't experience the sharpness of it as much. I've observed it, but I haven't been impacted by it. But at the same time, I find it really hard to kind of walk into a room over here and do what I would do in a room in Dubai or in the US. Or anywhere else in the world because it's a different you can feel the.,

Speaker B: Whole and part of the yantelo is also like you don't really praise your own kids. You don't say they're sort of and funnily enough, because I lived also in Barcelona, the Catalan culture is very much like the Antelope culture.,

Speaker A: Oh, really?,

Speaker B: Very weird. But they're almost like the same.,

Speaker A: I would not have expected that me neither.,

Speaker B: Until I moved there and lived it. So I mean, I don't think this first of all, I mean, the Yantelo is a thing and it comes from a novel and you have those, but I think actually it's a global phenomenon. I think it's a social fabric. And this holding each other down and comparing the Spanish dramatist, Gabriel Garcia Lorca, he has this very strong piece that I saw in my youth, the House of Bernarda Alba, la Casa de Bernarda Alba. And it's this house with women and they all oppress each other insanely. It's very, very strong. I was just thinking about it. So I think that's Spanish, right? I think at the end of it, we're talking about a social phenomenon and it can happen anywhere in the world.,

Speaker A: Absolutely.,

Speaker B: And I don't want to judge anybody. I think it's just part of human nature. But I mean, I'll be honest, I'm an urban person and I need big cities. And in my life journey, I've lived in many cities and I've had a couple of smaller cities that I tried and that was very, very unhappy marriages. It was very obvious from the get go that this is not because didn't work for you. For me to thrive, I need to be in a space where I feel like there's space to think in different be. I was talking to a friend the other day about why London is fantastic and I said there's always going to be new communities to do something cool that I can tap into until I die here because there's so many different things happening. So anyway, all of this because of the comment about Professor KAEPIC. But isn't it interesting? So I'm in Copenhagen and my friend who suggested that she's kind of one of those superstars corporate she's on fire, she lifted herself up by the bootstrap and has a top career. She's not a traditional general person. So she was the one who says, why don't you suggest that to the professor? And again, I just knew that if that was a Danish or just Scandinavian yeah, I think even European professor, I would never have suggested it. But because he was from New York University Stern School of Business. So I, with trembling hands, kind of sent this email. Dear Dr. Kpek, I think your course is really cool. I'm a trainer. I've been doing creative subjects for so and so long, and I would love to transition into the business world. And I can see your course. It looks very great. And I can see you don't have any nonverbal communication and voice modules. Would you consider at all for me to participate in the course? And I'll offer these as optional sessions. And he was from New York. Aditi. So he said, absolutely.,

Speaker A: Wow.,

Speaker B: Well, he said, let's have coffee when I come to town. And then when we had coffee, he said, absolutely brilliant. And we turned out to be good friends. And then we started working together. So all of that turned out, and it actually ended up with me continuing teaching at that business school eventually. So that was my first dabble in the and I still remember I went to Zara's and I bought like, a black jacket. It was like a business jacket. I still have that jacket. It was like, this is a new world. It was literally a new world. It was like, whoa, how do I do so so I did that. I took his course, and then I started teaching in the more professional realm. And then you know how it goes. Then somebody says, can you do public speaking? Can you do this? Can you do emotional intelligence? So the toolbox grew, and then also I lifted myself up from different markets and started working around different places in the world. But this is the journey. And I still say that my career is a love story. And what I am so grateful for is, like, all these weird things that I did in my life. I've done so many. I've done my voice journey. I've had my expressive things here. I've had my global life. I had so many random things. And all of it is relevant when I show up with the clients that I work with. And that is the magic for me. When I was studying, I had a very hard time with finding a connection between when I was studying and the real world. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was big. It was very blurry. And for example, on Monday, as I just told you, I have this new tech company in London, and they were like, we want the whole right can allow toolbox. We want the whole have. It's a very international team. And I know that when I stand on the floor with them and we go through the toolbox, but all the experiences that I've gathered will help me be present with them and help me lean into what they need in the moment. So that's the journey.,

Speaker A: Wow. What's in the toolbox? Tell us. Take us into the toolbox.,

Speaker B: Yes. So when I gathered my different communication tools in a book which is called The Right Kind of Loud. Obviously I have different chapters that are tools. So the first one is soundwrite and soundwrite is the voice itself as a tool. And it's funny because I had a meeting with this tech company last week and with two people and one of them is like so you mean what's the difference between speak right and sound right? Because I have one that's called Speak right. Well, Speak Right is about how you speak with an audience and how you prepare your public speaking. But what sound right? Well, sound Right is the voice itself, right? So the voice itself comes from my voice. So I'm also sometimes people come for me just for the voice part. They can have a vocal inhibition, vocal training or kind of so what I'm going to do on Monday with them is going to be like there's a theory part about insights about the voice that probably they don't haven't heard of. And then we're going to do warm up and then we do some exercises and we will work with articulation, we will work with projection, we will work with intonation, we'll work with pitches for the voice. There's two things that people often ask what's a good voice? There's two principles that's important and one is that the voice is embodied, that it comes from the body, it comes from the stomach because it's a physical thing. So for example, a lot of people that speak like this I don't know if you can hear it right now, but I'm speaking from a different place, especially when I speak loud. So right now I'm projecting from the throat, right? Yeah, right. There's a lot of people that speak like here and then there's a lot of people have a lot of tran going on. It's kind of very scented up here, right? Then you have some people, they're very heady. They just have a very heady voice. It's like there's a lot going on like that and there's nothing wrong, but it's not home just to give you. So that's just three different places. And you can say when I speak now, it comes from my stomach. That's where the voice is created. So that's the first principle, that the voice is embodied. And then of course, there's lots of different variations and stuff that can be what is a good voice for you. And then the second thing is that it is not monotonous and that we use vocal variety. Like when you have the voice that goes like this all the time, it's very difficult.,

Speaker A: It's sufferable to listen, it's difficult, we fall asleep.,

Speaker B: But of course, at the opposite of a good voice, you have a robotic voice. When you call your bank and they have this menu and they go through the menu. So that is actually physical for me. I feel almost physical nausea when I hear those voices because they are dehumanized voices and. We want the voice to be human. We want it to connect with us. We don't want that. So vocal variety and vocal variety is in pitch. You can speak high up here, you can speak very loud on the air, it's in projection, you can speak very soft, you can speak very strong. And then it's also in speed. You can speak fast, you can speak slow. And then it's in different sound qualities as well. So you can do vocal variety in a lot of different ways. So anyway, those two principles. So that's the first toolbox, the sound, right?,

Speaker A: Sound right, okay.,

Speaker B: Then we have move, right, which is about nonverbal communication. And as they say, the words you say are important, of course, but how you say it makes all the difference. And when we are young, we learn very early that when there's a conflict between the words and the voice, the voice is always going to win. You know, when you have a little situation and the little boy says, mommy, I angry, I'm not angry. Mommy's really angry.,

Speaker A: Yeah.,

Speaker B: So we learn with yeah, do you want to say something to that?,

Speaker A: Yeah, it was just what you say is not always what you mean. And people, we're so good at sensing the subtext, right, the context. It's one of those things that you don't even have to train to know what the person really needs.,

Speaker B: No, because nonverbal communication is our first communication. When we are babies, it's all nonverbal. Like the way we speak to our animals, it's nonverbal. My kiddiophilia, she understands me perfectly, right? Don't do that. So we have all these tools in our voice the whole time. And so when we are talking to children or animals, we usually exaggerate those differences a lot. But the same thing goes on aditi when we have a negotiation meeting, like people are talking, right, but all the time scanning for here's the words and what do they really mean? So that subtext is and that's also what makes theater and acting interesting. The actors are saying something, but what is their purpose or what is their subplot? Nonverbal communication is about that whole field and it's big. And again, because a lot of us are disconnected from our bodies or we have inner stories of ourselves that are negative. We don't really feel good in our bodies when we show up. And so if we are not really present when you open the door and you walk in that story before you say anything, it's massive. So your body is telling a story the whole time. It never stops. And so nonverbal presence in my toolbox, I bring in the gut brain, which is a nervous system in our intestines and it's actually called the gut brain. This is Western science also. And I talk about high status and low status signals that we use in interactions and how we can dance with those and have the status swingers and I talk about facial expressions. And a lot of it is about helping people so much. When we enter the room, when we're going to give a presentation or we have a meeting, or we're going to meet somebody for the first time, we think about our appearance, we think about what we're going to say, we bring our material and all that. Very rarely do we have a moment to just center ourselves and like, who, how do I feel?,

Speaker A: Right?,

Speaker B: And that is a big part of the right can allow. So my belief is that if I'm going to meet somebody else, the more generous I can be with them, the better that it's going to be that meeting or that session. And for me to be generous with them, I need to be generous with myself first so that I feel like it's the right kind of loud on the inside is also there. That's not a toolbox in the book, but it's there. It's there in the yes, yes. Okay, cool. So now we have two tools. Sound right, move right. Then we have listen, right? I'm not going to say so much about it. My listen write method, the active listening method I learned from Dr. Capeck at the Copenhagen Business School all the way back when.

Speaker A: Oh wow.,

Speaker B: And I still remember when he had that technique for us and he said, everybody, all students, this is going to change your lives. And I was like, God, that's so American. He's so exaggerating. But actually it is amazing. So there's a four step method and I have his blessing to include it in the book. So it's all good. And then there's some general things about how curiosity as a doorway can help us getting to the listening. And I will say right now, because of the pandemic and because of all the messages on different platforms and devices, we have what I call a global attention deficit. So listening is just getting more and more and more difficult. Then we have speak right? I've already talked about that. Speak Right is about how do you prepare a talk, what is a good introduction, how do you show up, how do you get create audience connection, what do you do with the nerves, all of that. And then we have Tell It Right, which is about writing your story. So as you remember, I started early on with a lot of creative writing and I've developed this method, which is a way to discover your word wonder and your word joy. Because words can be magical.,

Speaker A: Oh, that's nice.,

Speaker B: Yes, it's very beautiful. And I've had the pleasure of doing it with lots of different kinds of groups. And I'm extra excited because we're going to do that on Monday. And it's very rare that in the old days I would do innovation trainings and then I would always have as a part of because it's a right brain skill and all of that. And I was talking to this she's a founder of a tech company. I said, I have the tell it right. It's about connecting with you. And she said, you know, we are writing all the time, and part of our company's profile is being present on social media and making people hear about us. If you have something that takes an hour and a half and you can make my team members connect with a writing joy, absolutely do it.,

Speaker A: Yeah. I was very touched by that very relevant tool today. No matter what business you're in, all of us are telling stories, and we market and sell with stories. Everything we do is storytelling. So tell it right, I would say is an essential, crucial part of the toolbox. But I'm guessing people call you in for the public speaking bit. And how do we sound? Right. And not so much for not so much.,

Speaker B: Yes. I will say of the tools that I've talked about so far. I'm usually drawn in in organizations either for presentations when they have a conference coming or something like that, or for what they call executive presence when they have a group of managers that have been selected to potentially be promoted, or individuals come to me when they are seeking to be or planning to be promoted. So that's the typical, because that's the thing that people know most about. And then sometimes I start doing that, and then they discover more. When it comes to the voice, people usually find that for me, on an individual basis, it's rare that an organization is open enough to want to do something like that in a group, and it's just because it's not that known. But, I mean, it's ridiculous because, I mean, how many times a day do you use your voice and how many hours of your life have you trained?,

Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I mean, if you have this opportunity to do it with a tech company, then that's got to become a case study for you, Kim, because I think there's so much power in, like I said, every aspect of this toolbox, and you unfolded it for me in different ways. You unfolded it for me when you were coaching me one on one, and then I had the pleasure of going through the book after. But I know each one of these tools, individually and independently, has so much power, and of course, collectively, it creates a transformation. But on its own, it was only when we separated voice from speed, when we separated content from my why and my reason for connecting, that's when the distinctions opened up for me. And so I think there's a lot of value in breaking it down and then presenting that toolbox or opening out, laying out the toolbox as a feast.,

Speaker B: That's beautiful. And thank you so much for our process, too. It was a very precious journey. It just worked like, I had these tools. You were doing your webinars. Let me say to the audience who's listening, just express one more tool, and then we'll talk a little bit about our journey and what we did and the online stuff. Sure. Right? Yeah. Thank you. And so there's one more tool in the book, which is connect. Right. And in the book, I talk about connecting among different cultures. But Connect Right can also be all of what we talked about, right? It can be all of that. Yes. I just want to and then there's a chapter called Strategize. Right? Which is just like a mixed bag of stuff that I have from individual sessions. So it's just some extra candy.,

Speaker A: I think it's all candy is good candy.,

Speaker B: It's all you. And just checking the time, I think we only have, like, three minutes left. Five minutes left.,

Speaker A: We're going to make this a two part episode, Kim, and I'm going to ask you for more time on your calendar.,

Speaker B: Okay, cool. Maybe we dive into this the next time, then.,

Speaker A: Yeah, let's do keep because speaking online and presenting online is such a big part of so many organizations and reality.,

Speaker B: That's because now we have the basic right and allowed toolbox, and then we'll dive into the right and allowed online. Next time, I would love to share how I learned it and how that's beautiful.,

Speaker A: Absolutely. So this episode, Kim was unlocking speaking with impact. And how do you access that? How do you get to that point where you can find your speaker? What we talked about today, that toolbox is such a crucial part of it's been such a crucial part of the journey for me. And I know that you are transforming so many people's lives with this toolbox. I've got one question for you before we wrap up part one of our conversation.,

Speaker B: Thank you for making it part two. I feel honored. It's a little bit like when Renee Brown was together with Opera and it turned into spontaneous part. I'm like, you know, Renee and Opera, but it's me and Aditi honey, move up.,

Speaker A: Absolutely. Exactly. Audience suffering. You talk about audience suffering quite a bit. I remember you brought it up even when we were doing our sessions together. What is audience suffering and how do we completely eliminate it? Because it sounds terrible.,

Speaker B: Terrible, yes. I came up with the word audience suffering many years ago. I developed a method that I called the contract between the speaker and the audience. It's actually not in my book because I realized that it would have been too much with it and it belonged somewhere else. And it's kind of integrated already the way it is. And what I did this is when I was working in Barcelona because I had so many presentation clients, and I thought I always use myself as instruments. So when you are sitting because we are all listening to lots of presentations, so when you're sitting in the audience, and you feel like, oh, my God, this is horrible. If you look around, everybody's feeling the same thing. And if you have this moment of wow. And you lean forward and you engage, you look around, it's almost like the audience is a breathing animal. It's a breathing organism. And then I started noticing, when is it that the magic drops and we lean back? And so that's when I came up with the expression of audience suffering. Because we're all in that. And I mean, eight out of ten presentations at least are going to be disengaging. We don't even expect it to be engaging because most speakers are asked to talk about stuff, because they know a lot about the stuff, but not because they're good speakers. And it's almost like speaking itself isn't a skill. People think that you just get up and speak, but I mean, you're right now learning how to drive, and when you get a driver's license, you take less sense. It's a skill. You don't just get into a car. And it's the same with speaking. We're not born speakers. I started again trembling on the stage, and I learned it by going on the stage tons of times, right? I can get up and lead a group of a group of strangers pretty much anytime, anywhere, because I've done it hundreds and hundreds of times. It's a practice. So audience suffering comes from that. And then to counter that, I say every time an audience comes together, they're bringing what I call the prayer of the audience. And the prayer of the audience is, please make this relevant. Make this special. Make it count. Make me feel like this is something that you're telling me right now, and it's something unique. The audience doesn't like it when it's reproduced, and this is something that has been rolled out. They want it to feel it's special. And so, of course, the whole write and allow toolbox is created to eliminate audience suffering. Sometimes I mention that in the beginning because if I say to a group, like, think about three or four or five presentations you've listened to recently, how many of them were engaging? How many of them did you feel comfortable from? And usually we don't. And of course, nobody's bad at Et. Nobody has the intention to go on. I mean, the worst case scenarios, and I've heard this often in my career, is, well, I'm really nervous. I just speak really fast to make it pass. Fast.,

Speaker A: Yes. Do you know what? I'm guilty of it too. I have done it where I've gotten on stage, and it's like, oh, I only have 15 minutes, so I have to do this quick. And you don't realize how that lands when you do it because you think you're doing it to make it convenient for the audience.,

Speaker B: Exactly. You think you're making it easy and fast, but the audience has no chance to enter it just flies over ahead. We just bombarded. We're like, hello. Give us blood. Flesh and blood. Flesh and tears. Give us juice. Give us secrets, confessions. Give us I mean, the audience is a little bit like a baby. I call it the audience baby. They like colors, they like surprises. They like feelings, secrets. They like drama, entertainment. And even in a business context, you can actually bring that in, because every business talk has something that something is problematic and there's some kind of solution. So then that's what I help people with. Also, I say, when you go into the dark, where's the value of desperation? And where's the sunshine? And let's just make sure that those transitions are clearer. But anyway, am I answering your question?,

Speaker A: You are. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. I wanted to dig into that, just to put that out there. And I know that creates a beautiful foundation for part two of this conversation. So just to tease everyone that's listening and you a little bit kim, part two. I would really like to dive into some of the amazing tools that you've laid out in the ebook, which is focused on presentations, online and meetings, digital meetings, and virtual presences. And I'd like to talk about Ted Talks because I've got mine coming, and I want you to train me, obviously, for it. But it's such a pivotal point in so many people's careers and journeys, especially people in the coaching, consulting, and entrepreneurial world. Getting on that Ted stage is a big moment. So how do you pick the right thing to talk about? And how do you tap into that message and share it with the love and care and compassion and everything that you can for that audience is something that I'd love to dig into. So that's for next.,

Speaker B: Beautiful. I love that. That's a very good cliffhanger for us. Lovely. And I'm actually having a coaching session tonight with a lovely she's my ex roommate, and she lives in Hawaii today, but she's from Berkeley, and I'm actually coaching her on her Ted Talk tonight.,

Speaker A: That's amazing. You've done a fantastic Ted Talk yourself, which I'm definitely going to link people to on the website. And, yeah, let's dig into that toolbox. And it is very much the right kind of loud toolbox, just in the context of Ted, which is short, concise, and you've got 1418 minutes to go on stage and make your magic happen. And a little red carpet and a.,

Speaker B: Little circle with a red yeah, and just also on the note of the audience, the audience suffering at the back of my book, if anybody's getting my book, which you can get on Amazon, there is a glossary at the end of the book. And when I wrote the book, I had a group of test readers. I was so blessed. I had lots of test readers. People kept volunteering. So I had, like, twelve test readers, which is insane. That's amazing. It was a luxurious situation and they were different career profiles and different ages and different places around the world. And of course, a big bunch of them were in Dubai and a couple of them said, kim, you have all these expressions that are a little special. I'm not sure, maybe you can have a glossary so you find the prayer of the audience. So there's a little glossary. I have the prayer of the audience. I have a voice have I see.

,Speaker A: The brain, the status swinger, a few of the things that you mentioned today as well. Okay, so just one more reason to get your hands on The Right Kind of Loud.,

Speaker B: There you go. Yeah.,

Speaker A: What I will say, I think if there's a book that can completely change the way that you speak to an audience tomorrow, because it's also a small read, so it's like quick to get through, I think what is it, Kim, 130 pages. If you need to get on a stage tomorrow and you want to do something that's going to leave your audience feeling happy and in love with you, get your hands on a copy of the Right Kind of Loud. It's almost like my little cheat sheet. I pick it up every time. Sorry, I'm going to do a presentation or I'm speaking to an audience, I just quickly scan through it and I have my right Kind of loud bookmark in it as well.,

Speaker B: Beautiful.,

Speaker A: It's wonderful. Let's leave this off at that note, Kim, and come back for round two. Thank you.,

Speaker B: Very excited. And to all your listeners, thanks for having the patience and thanks for having your listening presence with us. And I hope you found some nuggets you can use and I hope you keep continuing listening to Aditi's amazing unlocking series. And I look forward to talking to you next time.,

Speaker A: Thank you, Kim. Thank you for listening, everyone. And that is a wrap. What a fantastic conversation with Kim. I hope that you've left inspired, equipped and ready to get your voice out there, get it heard and make the impact that you are capable of making. Stay tuned for more episodes of the Help Me Unlock podcast. We do guest episodes once a week and I release a solo episode, a blog, reading or sharing some thoughts and ideas around the world of organic marketing, content marketing, showing up on LinkedIn, and building your coaching or consulting business. If you'd like to learn more about what I do, how I do and who I do it for, then jump on over to my website, Aditijn.com. It's been pleasure hosting this conversation for you. I hope you've loved it and I can't wait to bring you more.