When Helping Others Destroys You | Adella Beaini

Adella Beaini is an accomplished journalist who has carved a significant reputation for herself in the media industry. Currently working for the Daily Telegraph, Adella is known for her investigative reporting, most notably her work on the campaign "Save Our Heroes," which led to a royal commission into suicides in the defense force. Her reporting has significantly impacted veterans' lives, shedding light on the hardships they endure. Adella is passionate about bringing attention to critical social issues and is driven by her values and faith in both her personal and professional life.

Key Points:

• Mental Health Awareness: Adella highlights the importance of journalists recognising the emotional toll of their work and practicing self-care to maintain a healthy balance.
• Cultural Influence: Her Lebanese heritage and faith significantly influence her journalistic integrity and passion for social change.
• Purpose-driven Work: Finding meaning in her work helps Adella stand resilient amidst daunting tasks, underscoring the value of a purposeful career.
• Role of Traditional Media: Despite the rise of citizen journalism, Adella discusses the importance of traditional media in maintaining ethical reporting standards.
• Personal Growth: Adella's journey of self-discovery serves as an inspiring reminder that personal struggles can lead to professional and personal growth.

Notable Quotes:

1. "Being Lebanese and coming from a very close family, and those values that were instilled in me, they helped me, I guess, carry my way through journalism."
2. "As journalists, we're so privileged to be able to go into people's houses, not always literally, but to go into people's houses and lives and have access to their story and their experiences."
3. "When you want to see God in anything you do, you will find him. If you don't want to see God in anything you do, you won't find him."
4. "We were never made to consume this much at this rate and all in the palm of our hands."
5. "'Permanent solution to a temporary problem.' And I think for people who do feel like they're not okay, it is okay to reach out for help."

Resources:

• Adella Beaini on Twitter: Follow Adella Beaini

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au 

Do subscribe to this podcast to get the latest episodes of Finding Sanctuary.

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Transcript

0:00:00 - (Debbie Draybi): And welcome back. Our season started 2026. We're very excited that you can all join us again. We've had a bit of a break over the summer and I've got Eddie Reich with me here.

0:00:10 - (Eddie Reaiche): Hello, everyone.

0:00:12 - (Debbie Draybi): How are you, Eddie?

0:00:12 - (Eddie Reaiche): I'm awesome.

0:00:13 - (Debbie Draybi): Good to see you again. It's been a long time. It's so nice to come back to you all. And we've got like, we're starting this season with an incredible guest. We're very excited. We've got Adela Bianey here with us. Adela's a journalist. She's got an incredible reput and journey as a journalist. She currently works for the Daily Telegraph. But in talking to Adela in our introduction, I found out some incredible things that she's done in her journey even early on in her career. Starting a campaign that led to a royal commission which was incredible, exploring and investigating the suicides in our defence force, Save Our Heroes. It was caught and it had an incredible impact on our veterans and the hardship and the turmoil and the trauma that our veterans suffer. And Adela was incredible in leading that campaign and that commission.

0:01:10 - (Debbie Draybi): So welcome, Adela. This is very exciting. I'm a bit nervous. We're reversing roles here. It's very hard to interview, you know, a seasoned, well seasoned interviewer.

0:01:20 - (Adella Beaini): I'm happy to be behind the microphone and actually taking the questions for once. So, yeah, roles reversed. So let's see how this one pans out. Thank you for having me.

0:01:28 - (Debbie Draybi): Oh, look, it's a pleasure and it's wonderful to have you kickstart our season. Honestly, like, we're very blessed and we're really excited about this conversation and, you know, and your journey and the incredible work that you've done. So, Azela, we've got like, just as we're. I know we had a conversation in the pre meeting around thinking about the emotional toll that work can take on us. And one of the things that we talked about, you know, given especially early on in your career, the incredible work that you did exploring suicides in the Defence Force, you know, it's. You started talk about being thrown in the deep and then your career has obviously evolved since then. But we wanted to talk a bit about how you've managed your emotional wellbeing during that period and what are some of the things that have been really useful to you as you've developed in your journalism career?

0:02:17 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, it's an interesting question. I think there's always the beauty of hindsight. So at the moment when I was reporting, I was only six months into the job. So to say I built skills or tools up at that point. Probably not. No one tells. There's no rule book to tell you how to deal with X, Y, Z. And especially being exposed to those sort of topics and issues, in this case, suicide. So six months into it, I was thrown in the deep end. But it was such a privilege to be able to carry those stories for over two years and then follow another additional three years around our veteran community.

0:02:49 - (Adella Beaini): At the time, I didn't really think about myself. It wasn't about me. I was reporting on others and being there for others and listening to their stories and making change for them. So to say, how did I deal with it? I didn't think about it at that point. I think Covid came at a time where I was able to stop and reflect of what I had reported on. And I wouldn't be human if I said, oh, like, it didn't impact me. Of course it does.

0:03:13 - (Adella Beaini): I cared so much deeply about these stories and these people because they are people behind every word I write. So they aren't just words. And that's it. So I would say it's probably upon reflection I saw the impact on myself. Like, I did take a bit of a sort of dark in the sense, like it was just mentally. It affected me a lot because it got to a point where I was, you know, that point of help for a lot of people. And I just couldn't carry everyone's problems at once. And you try your best professionally, but like I said, you're dealing with real people, real emotions and real circumstances.

0:03:47 - (Adella Beaini): So I had people in a situation where they're suicidal or they're just in really deep, dark despair. And I was that friendly face for them, someone who listened to them and that's all they wanted, someone to listen to them. And so, yeah, eventually that takes a bit of a tol. How do I deal with it? You know, you do have to look after yourself. And for me, it was. That was a journey in itself. How do you look after yourself?

0:04:11 - (Adella Beaini): I had to rediscover hobbies that I lost because I was like, you know, too busy and engrossed in work. And this is just beyond the suicide. This is reporting in general and sometimes work for a lot of people, like, you get too carried away and you forget about yourself and looking after yourself. So, yeah, it did take a bit of time to navigate through that because like I said, I was dealing with quite serious stories and cases.

0:04:34 - (Adella Beaini): It was an interesting journey for myself mentally as well.

0:04:38 - (Debbie Draybi): So, yeah, yeah, What I'm hearing is your passion and your commitment to making things better for other people and really honoring their stories and trying to do something with that that's meaningful and affecting positive change. In doing that, you absorb a lot and take on a lot for others. And perhaps the way you describe it, you kind of lose yourself a bit in that.

0:05:01 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, it is. And again, the media's like, an interesting position. As journalists, we're so privileged to be able to go into people's houses, not always literally, but to go into people's houses and lives and have access to their story and their experiences and what they're going through. So that's why we're so unique, I would say, in the media, because not every day you get to go and talk to one person's going through this and the next to someone completely different. Like, you could be at a crime scene, at a court, at a breaking news, or in parliament. Like, it's all very different, all varied. So our job is very unique.

0:05:35 - (Adella Beaini): And like I said, we've got access, and with that access comes responsibility as well. So it's not something we take very lightly either. So I do see as a privilege. But sometimes when you're going through a moment where you're going, oh, this is too much, you forget the power you have. But then I remind myself, like, even with the army, like, as much as, you know, it took a toll on me, but I wouldn't have any other way because I've seen now the lasting impact, and I hope that it continues to make a further impact in the future. Veterans as.

0:06:02 - (Adella Beaini): So that was worth it.

0:06:03 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:06:03 - (Eddie Reaiche): Adela, I've got a question for you. I always wonder, as a journalist, you come from a Lebanese background, so your worldview's probably been shaped by Lebanese culture. And then you approach different areas, and I wonder how much of that really impacts on what you report. And what does that do for you? Like, that lens that you use, does it make you feel a certain way, or are you able to put that to the side and just be professional? How does that work for you?

0:06:34 - (Adella Beaini): Sometimes it's hard to separate the two, I think. I think being Lebanese and Lebanese Maronite, my faith and my values drive a big part in what I do. They underpin a lot of things. It's not saying I need to go and preach all about my faith. It's not. But my faith do drive my values and my morals. And so when I did take on something as significant as the suicides in the army, I think we as Lebanese, we feel a lot of emotion. We're very caring, we love, and we all come from a good family unit. And we're just brought up to love and care for people and help where we can. We always want to help, help, help. I think that's probably why I went to journalism, helping in my certain way, what God's given me, which is, I guess, the talent and the grace to be able to listen and put that into words or video.

0:07:18 - (Adella Beaini): Being Lebanese and coming from a very close family and those values that were instilled in me, they helped me, I guess, carry my way through journalism. So, yeah, it's hard to separate the two and to be professional doesn't mean you don't have to care. You know, you can. I think that's what's gotten me to where I am. And I think that's perhaps why I was able to be trusted by a lot of people. I'm not fake, it's just genuine. I really did take on. I believed in their cause. It wasn't just a very tokenistic issue for me.

0:07:45 - (Adella Beaini): I wanted them to feel, not closure, but to be listened and heard and actually create that tangible change for them. Because at that point, these parents predominantly had gone thinking they're the only ones going through it. They're the only ones that lost a son to suicide or a daughter to suicide, or I'm the only soldier who's come back and I can't even handle my emotions. So to be able to bring thousands of people, even though everything that ties them is quite horrific, but to bring them all into a network and to actually say, hang on, I'm not alone, I think that's. That's pretty impactful. So I hope that answered your question.

0:08:21 - (Eddie Reaiche): That's a great answer. A lot more than I expected. But what was really important, what you said was when you went into journalism is it was so you could help people. I've never looked at that perspective. I've never seen it that way. Yeah. And I think that was something really important that we need to share with people that just because you're a journalist doesn't mean you just want to report and go home and have your chops and sausages.

0:08:43 - (Eddie Reaiche): You just want to really report something because you feel like you're doing a great service to the community. Is that how it feels?

0:08:50 - (Adella Beaini): It definitely is. And it's taken more maybe the last two years to actually really see that. I had spoken to someone earlier around this sort of topic, like, what got you into journalism? First of all, I loved watching the news. Second of all, my dad had a cafe, so I was already exposed to that whole newspapers and helping him stack it and read it. But I've always had that, this love and this desire to always help someone.

0:09:13 - (Adella Beaini): And I found it always in reporting in the news and journalism. And everyone wants to be something, not everyone pursues that. But for me, that love never died out. And it just grew as I kept going in, like to high school, to university. And even when I entered the Daily Telegraph, I kind of just said, I love reporting, writing stories. I was trying to figure out the who I am and what niche do I want to cover, what topic. And I was just doing anything and everything.

0:09:38 - (Adella Beaini): But now, in hindsight and learning more about myself, particularly the past two years, that's when I've discovered, particularly through my faith, that this is a vocation, this is something God's given me. And I'm able to use that to make change. So I don't take it lightly anymore. I'm like, God, use me wherever you need me, where whatever person, whatever story you want me to tell, I will. And seeing that from that lens has really shifted a lot of things.

0:10:03 - (Adella Beaini): When you want to see God in anything you do, you will find him. If you don't want to see God in anything you do, you won't find him. And so having that new lens has really made me feel even more of a responsibility in my job. And all of us are called to do that. You don't have to be extreme of a journalist, something simple as working in the office or in construction. It doesn't mean I am building to like make a huge change, but it could be someone you talk to, you encounter, you help, you just never know. We all have that opportunity to do that change.

0:10:32 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, that's a beautiful reflection, I think. You know, this podcast for us, you know, a huge theme is around, obviously mental health. We've talked about careers and work quite a bit. And one of the themes that we come back to is from a mental health perspective, finding meaning and purpose and connection to your job is actually a massive mental health protective factor, enables us to do what we do better.

0:10:58 - (Debbie Draybi): It's not just a job. At the end of the day, we show up more fully and you've just given us a beautiful example of how you've evolved in your career and how the meaning and the purpose of your role has evolved with you. Thinking about that for our listeners, someone who's lost in their career path, not feeling that connection with what they're doing, or even confused about where they wanna go, what's the strategy? You for them to reconnect with their work. So it is purposeful and it is meaningful and it does sort of ignite them, you know, I feel that passion in you and it's quite contagious actually.

0:11:34 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, I mean, it's not a clear cut answer, but I think it's okay to step aside, take a breath and actually give yourself a time to listen to yourself and understand, what do I want? We're always like busy running, running, running, running. There's no time for just sitting alone and think how stimulated we are. We live in a very stimulated world. Your phones, your tv, the media, all sorts of forms. And then you got your work on top of that and then your whole life. And so there actually is not a lot of time for ourselves put aside just to concentrate.

0:12:09 - (Adella Beaini): For me as well, I went through that like I was like, I don't know if I'm made to be a journalist. It was a couple of years in and it felt like I could no longer handle it or it was overwhelming. Am I really made for this? That it's normal to have those questions? And as well, don't put pressure on the time where you get the answer. Sometimes it really does take time to get the answer. For me it took another three years after that and day in, day out, wrestling with that idea, am I a good journalist? What makes me different? Like who am I? All those questions I ask myself and you wrestle with it. Like I said, I didn't get a clear cut answer.

0:12:42 - (Adella Beaini): So putting time aside, working on yourself, I think until you work on yourself and you're satisfied with yourself and you've built that confidence and healed any parts of you that needed healing until then, then you cannot take that next step. So if someone's confused, well, we've got so many options these days. And I think that's overwhelming in itself. You don't know what career you want or you might have went this, but your passion goes this way now also I say do not be afraid.

0:13:07 - (Adella Beaini): Really do. Like if you feel like, oh, it's too late, I went to an office job. No, it's not too late. Don't let that dream stay a dream. So it's never too late. Even if you're old, it doesn't matter. I would say take that chance. Even if it's uncomfortable, do it. What's the worst can happen? You don't like it, you just go back to the other. So yeah, find yourself. And particularly for me, I would say faith, because that God plays a huge part in helping you discern with what you want to do and let him lead you the way. But you have to have your eyes available and your heart and your mind.

0:13:39 - (Adella Beaini): Otherwise he can't talk to a closed door.

0:13:41 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, absolutely. And one of the things I find, particularly with, you know, the growing influence of social media, we talk about working on ourselves, but there's a lot of almost saturated and flooded with messages around what that looks like from a physical perspective. Working on yourself physically, going to the gym, working out, walking. But I find there's a limited sort of messaging around what that looks like from an emotional perspective or mental health. What does it look like to work on yourself emotionally, mentally, to build and grow those muscles in the way you would, you know, physically at the gym?

0:14:16 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:14:17 - (Adella Beaini): Each person is different. Each answer will be different.

0:14:19 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:14:19 - (Adella Beaini): I think the number one thing we should also encourage is professional help. Some people do need access to professional help, and that's okay. It's uncomfortable, but it's okay if you need it. So professional help, I would say, is a big thing. I know it's a taboo in our culture and not many people encouraged to go, but it doesn't hurt. Even if you want to do one, two or three psychology sessions, you might have underlying issues that you didn't even know you had, and it could resurface through a different way.

0:14:45 - (Adella Beaini): But there's something more underneath that. So there's the professional help, other help.

0:14:49 - (Debbie Draybi): I think not getting a. I mean, for those of you that haven't done that before, if you're at the gym, you know, you have access to a personal trainer. It's the same sort of thing. It's new. You might need a bit of guidance.

0:14:58 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, for sure. I think as well, setting boundaries, that's a big one. It's okay to say no. Putting yourself first isn't selfish. It can be. And it is needed in a healthy way. So I think saying no to things that might not bring benefit to you or overload you too much, it's okay to set time aside for yourself, maybe even like take time off from any technology. You know, really sit with yourself, reconnecting the old ways, even the nature. Like something like, you know, say, touch grass, but quite literally touch grass, it's actually good for you.

0:15:30 - (Adella Beaini): I go and look at the nature, like actually hear things, get into your senses. I think that's something I learned to do, like actually stopping, going, wow. Like admiring things that you too always distracted to admire. So I think reconnecting with your sense is very Important food included, but yeah. So food senses, like listening, hearing, even taking a journal, just find something that you like. Like, everyone's different. It could be like a journal. It could be around just two, three things that you've liked during the day. I think when you. They call it the gratitude kind of journal, but it could be on your phone. You know, it's whatever's easiest. And when you force yourself to look for good things again, you will find it. And it then trains your brain to always look out for good. Yeah, because if you're always wiring your brain to look out for the negative, it will find always negative.

0:16:19 - (Adella Beaini): It always will. So to reverse that is, I think, another thing. So always find the positive in every situation, just once. Even that slowly builds that habit. And reconnecting with your hobbies, if you've lost them, a lot of people when they go down that very sort of dark, I guess their mental health is not so great. Finding something you love again, usually you can turn back to your, maybe childhood or high school years. Maybe you liked reading a book, maybe it was drawing, maybe it was, I don't know, photography.

0:16:45 - (Adella Beaini): Whatever it is, find one thing you used to like and reconnect with that as well.

0:16:49 - (Eddie Reaiche): Adela, you seem to be somebody who's really in touch with who they are. How did you find it in your personal experience? How did you find yourself?

0:16:59 - (Adella Beaini): I think took me, I guess, a point where I went too deep down to get back up. I think that's right, to find myself when I went too far down. And you can't wait till you get to that point to then find yourself again. But it did for me. And so when I did take, you know, a very sort of deep dive and very dark dive, I was forced to, I guess, rebuild myself, find out actually who I am from the bottom to the top and then start that foundation. And it wasn't a clear cut road. It really wasn't. I wrestled a lot with thoughts and, you know, not just my faith, but like my job and just everything it was, it was a mixed journey. And it, it didn't take one month, two months. It took a couple of years to even find who I am. But I see myself now a very different person to who I was a year ago or two years ago. I actually for once can say, I know who I am, I'm confident in who I am, and I'm grounded in something that's unshakable.

0:17:54 - (Adella Beaini): And for me, that is my faith. But I had to work a lot on myself. So sometimes it takes you in like a zigzag road. It's on like straight up. It is a zigzag. One moment you'll be up here and then you're back down. So it's like a. It's a roller coaster, to say the least. But I mean, I'm always learning. There's still a lot to learn about myself and we will always continue learning until the day we die. But yeah, who I was, like I said two years ago, was a very different person to who I am today.

0:18:21 - (Eddie Reaiche): As I was watching the way you were talking and talking about strategies on how to be in touch with nature, how to ground yourself, how to come into the present moment, I thought this sounds like somebody who knows what they're talking about more than me. And so I wanted to find out from you what your experience was. So thank you for sharing that. That was really important. I think people who are listening to this, a lot of them struggle from day to day not knowing who they are.

0:18:48 - (Eddie Reaiche): But I think it was really important that you highlighted the fact that you don't have to know who you are tomorrow. It's a long road, but it's worth the travel, it's worth going there, even though it's rocky, still worth the trip. Because in the end, this is what

0:19:04 - (Adella Beaini): comes out and I hope to hopefully help others. I have had a lot of people over the past as I journeyed through and got more and more confident in myself and I found more people reaching out for advice as well, like through mainly social media or however they find me. So I think as well, we all have the power to make change. So when you do work on yourself, hopefully you have a flow on effect on the other others around you. Whether it's friends or just a stranger, it doesn't matter. It does have a flow on effect. It's all like a community, community network.

0:19:35 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah. And what I'm hearing is it's not a quick fix, it takes time. I think we live in a culture, particularly with the rise of social media, there's a sort of urgency and an immediacy to get things sorted, you know, in the moment or straight away. Healing takes time, recovery takes time. And just being able to sit in that uncertainty and to not feel better straight away and be okay with that. It's a journey, isn't it? And people, that's what we find. People sort of get frustrated and give up because it's not. They're not changing in the way that they.

0:20:13 - (Debbie Draybi): As rapidly as they hope.

0:20:14 - (Adella Beaini): And as you mentioned, we do live in a Society in a world where everything's instant and whether it's shopping, food, any solution, ChatGPT, you get it in maybe three seconds, probably less than three seconds. So it's hard to go against the tide and I think. But that's sort of what I would encourage. Like, everyone's going this way, some as you're going this way, the opposite direction. So people do need to be reminded that it is okay to slow down, it is okay to take time. It does feel uncomfortable, but that's okay.

0:20:46 - (Adella Beaini): It's worth it in the end.

0:20:48 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, I think about that a lot. And I know we talked a little bit about the accessibility in the media of information and that flag flooding of news stories. And it's difficult. Like, we very rarely sit in a space of not knowing because if we need access to information or footage of a recent event, we have access to so much of it and more than often that we're ready to see. I think it's perpetuating this culture of immediacy and getting things exactly when we want them. And almost like people don't even know how to experience the unknowing and, you know, the limitation of just sitting in uncertainty, it's. It's often very foreign.

0:21:31 - (Adella Beaini): It is foreign. And I think this is where it comes in, where you actually have to take that step forward and show initiative. And that could be whether, like, you know, reducing your time on social media just to create a more safer and healthy habit for yourself and for your brain. I think it's okay to not know everything in the world.

0:21:49 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:21:49 - (Adella Beaini): We were never made to consume this much at this rate and all in the palm of our hands. So I think again, allowing yourself to just take a little step back, even if it's reducing it by 30 minutes or an hour, it is okay.

0:22:04 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah. Are you hearing that, kids? We were not made to know everything and have everything at the palm of our hands. I think that's such a powerful message, Adela. Like thinking about learning how to unlearn, you know, all the things that stop using ChatGPT every now and then and just don't Google it. Just see what happens.

0:22:25 - (Adella Beaini): Use your brain.

0:22:27 - (Eddie Reaiche): Dilla, that sounds really interesting to me. When does responsibility actually become a burden in your line of work, particularly dealing with suicides, dealing with emotions, dealing with people. And it must be so difficult because you want to help, and coming from a place of faith, you feel the need to help. So when does it actually become a burden?

0:22:50 - (Adella Beaini): I think when you no longer recognize yourself or it's starting to impact your everyday life outside of work. I think that's when you're forced to really not re evaluate but actually look at yourself, go, hang on, let me stop and think about I am a better person and I will be better at my job when I can look after myself. And I think it's a tough thing because as journalists you do have to be professional.

0:23:14 - (Adella Beaini): You are sort of put in all sorts of situations, you're encountering all sorts of people. So you do have to have a level of no, like we're running on adrenaline, like we're, this is how we operate. And we're very proud people too as journalists. I think a lot of people are not just journalists. And so that personality and that trait is kind of hard to then I guess accept the fact that yeah, there is a line where it does become not just a burden, but you have to look after yourself and not also neglect yourself in the process.

0:23:44 - (Adella Beaini): So and that goes for, for all people in media and beyond media. Whether you're in construction or like I said, or office job, it doesn't matter. When there is a responsibility that now starts to turn into a burden and it is impacting your everyday life. Maybe it's your interaction with your family or your friends or you start to lose hobbies and all that, it's having a tangible effect. I think that's where you need to draw the line and accept it, work on it. It doesn't mean you will no longer take on this work or these stories, whatever it is.

0:24:13 - (Adella Beaini): It just means I will need to work on how I respond to it by looking after myself so then I can go back to it and handle it better. It's just creating a better foundation.

0:24:22 - (Debbie Draybi): I think that's massive. I know we talked in the pre meeting around understanding that yes, you're a professional, you're experienced, you're skilled. Even in your profession. You know, there is this adrenaline to keep going and to just get on with it regardless of the level of trauma. I mean, you've talked about some, you know, help pretty heavy content that you're exposed to day in, day out. And in psychology and in our profession we talk about vicarious trauma and this is this overexposure to traumatic content that you don't experience directly, but you witness it and you bear witness to really talking about it. Yeah. And you absorb a lot of it. So recognizing that as humans that will take its toll and it's quite normal to be impacted by the work that we do.

0:25:08 - (Debbie Draybi): It doesn't mean that we're any less Skilled at what we do. And I think that's a really hard for our listeners to be able to understand that we're humans before we're the professionals. And this is part of the human condition. We absorb things even if we don't experience them, we hear about them. We might visualize them, we might internalize them. They might be triggers for our own traumas. And understanding that, giving ourself permission to feel what we feel and to honour it and to recognize that everyone has their limits, we're human first.

0:25:40 - (Adella Beaini): I think I'll just add to that beyond journalists, I think people who consume the media as well. When you're seeing traumatic events, you don't have to. I mean, sometimes you feel a bit helpless. Cause you're not going on to then report on it, but you've just seen it on again, the palm of your hand. So I think that as well as a new generation of trauma, I think seeing whether it's floods or bushfires or wars or Covid. Or Covid.

0:26:04 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah.

0:26:05 - (Adella Beaini): So I think that's another element. Now we're dealing with like not just us as journalists, but people who are consuming is your regular person. It could be a teenager, it could be a young adult. And then they might be confused with their own feelings. Like, hang on. But I, you know, I'm not there, but why am I feeling this? And it's because you are consuming something you're not meant to be consuming.

0:26:25 - (Adella Beaini): You're there, but you're not there. And I think your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and fake, so. Or not being there in that instance.

0:26:34 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, exactly. And I think that's a really big one. As you said. You've said it a couple of times now. You got it in the palm of your hands. You're not meant to. There are things that you just can't unsee. And being able to recognize and honor that too, that we have our limitations of what we're exposing ourselves to. When you're exposed to it, you do something with it. Cause it's your profession and you channel it in a way where it's meaningful and there's a purpose and you're doing something. Whereas for people in the community watching horrific images in the media and then they're sitting with that. I mean, it perpetuates this helplessness and hopelessness of the world.

0:27:11 - (Debbie Draybi): Because really you can't do a lot with it. And there's not a lot that you can change. I mean, you can try and go to a demonstration or be part of a cause and influence, try and influence in different ways, but it's not the same as when you're doing it as part of your job.

0:27:24 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, I even saw that with the Bondi tarot tag. Like, I. You were just about us.

0:27:31 - (Debbie Draybi): I mean, she's a reporter. Come on, Eddie. She's always one step ahead.

0:27:36 - (Adella Beaini): Correct. What was your question to the Bondi attack? Were you going to ask anything specific to that?

0:27:40 - (Debbie Draybi): I mean. Adela, please let him ask the question.

0:27:43 - (Eddie Reaiche): No, no, it's okay.

0:27:44 - (Adella Beaini): I'll just, I'll take a break.

0:27:45 - (Eddie Reaiche): You can take my thunder up, but it's okay.

0:27:47 - (Adella Beaini): No, no, you go for it. You go for it.

0:27:48 - (Eddie Reaiche): No, I was just going to say during the Bondi, watching my family react to what was going on was amazing because they were on their phones and I was trying to watch it on TV to see what was going on, to make sense of what was happening. And they're coming up with graphic images that they're getting on social media. I wasn't thinking about them seeing these graphic images. I'm thinking of what is possessing these people with the phones to zoom in and get these graphic images and send it across.

0:28:18 - (Eddie Reaiche): I don't think anyone realizes what it actually does to people. We're not in a war torn country. We don't have to see this. And we're dealing with people who come from war torn countries who experience the worst of it. And we're in a very quiet country or a safe country, or so we thought. And we're now starting to deal with what people saw. And so I think, I believe that the media has this responsibility to blur out, but at least give some sort of perspective on what's going on.

0:28:50 - (Eddie Reaiche): Because I think we've got to now start talking about boundaries. And I think it's really important. And this is one of the biggest responsibilities of the media. The people in the public have no boundaries, but the media reach far more people than the ones out on the street. So what do you feel about boundaries in media?

0:29:09 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, it's an interesting question because again, now we're talking about AI as well, coming in and all that sort of stuff. And people always say to me, do you think journalists are going to exist soon? I'm like, actually, yes, for as long as AI exists and technology and ChatGPT, you do need a journalist because. And you do need that traditional media for the very reason in that circumstance, in that instance, because we have checks and balances, we have obligation to not be showing graphic footage or Images, there are rules, there are editorial rules, whereas your citizen journalist can post whatever they want with no, I guess, checks, no legalities, no morals or ethics they have to follow. They just post and it's there for everyone to see. So this is where I think, yes, we are responsible for our media and the news we put out there, but we have a lot of rigorous processes before that even gets to that normal reader.

0:30:01 - (Adella Beaini): But like you said, in the instant, anyone can post whatever they want, blurred, unblurred, it doesn't matter. And I think that's dangerous. But this is, again, why I say media is so important now more than ever, people, whenever something big happens, who do they turn to? They turn to us as journalists because they know they're going to get a more reputable source information.

0:30:22 - (Eddie Reaiche): This leads me to my next question. I feel like a journalist.

0:30:26 - (Debbie Draybi): You're on a roll now.

0:30:28 - (Eddie Reaiche): How do you feel people trust you? Do you think people trust you? There's always been a contentious issue about do we trust the media? So how do you feel about the trust component from the outside world on what you report? Does that come into your mind at all?

0:30:43 - (Adella Beaini): Of course he does. I think you got that whole favourite line that people want to say fake news and fake news, and I know Trump started that and now it's carried on to everyone. Do not paint us all with the same brush is what I would say. There's good and bad everywhere, in any media's one of them. But I will say there are good journalists out there, there are good producers, news editors, there are good journalists fighting the good fight.

0:31:08 - (Adella Beaini): And I think, as well, for me personally, on a personal level, I mean, I have built, I would like to say, my reputation on reporting on the truth and fact and, you know, showing both sides of a story. And that in itself will build you a proper reputation, I think, as well, in this day and age, people follow the journalist, not the brand necessarily. That's becoming more important. We live in an influencer culture.

0:31:31 - (Adella Beaini): And so to translate that with journalists, people are turning to you as an individual rather than, you know, the whole company and turning to them. So, yeah, I would say it's a funny world we live in. Yes, there is that whole fake news and there are. There might be bad journalists out there, but like I said, don't paint us all with the same brush. So, yes, there are good people out there and good journalists, and I hope to be one of them.

0:31:54 - (Eddie Reaiche): I'm sure you are.

0:31:55 - (Debbie Draybi): You are, absolutely.

0:31:56 - (Eddie Reaiche): You're my new favourite one. Never had one before.

0:32:01 - (Adella Beaini): I'm glad I took the first title.

0:32:05 - (Debbie Draybi): Zella1 of the things I've been curious about as a journalist, you know, you ask the ask questions, you push the boundaries around taboo topics, you know, having been raised in a traditional culture, what that experience is like for you, but also thinking about that for our listeners who coming from our community, we grapple with that often day to day with stigma and taboo around certain things that just they don't say out loud.

0:32:31 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, there's a lot of taboo topics out there, especially in the, not just the Lebanese, but the culturally diverse communities, the ethnic communities. And it's because we live in our parents generation weren't taught to speak up about things or to talk openly about things. So now we have like a new generation which is us, I guess grappling with never having spoken about these topics but now living in a world where it's a bit more open on the topic. So for me personally, like having grown in the eastern suburbs, it was a bit more open talking, but not to say it was fully open either.

0:33:05 - (Adella Beaini): But I think having then gone into journalism, confronted with huge sort of topics, issues that are not off limits because this is my job, I think now it's given me not just a platform but a responsibility. I feel for others to be a role model that I never got to see. That's how I see myself more. And having more and more people approach me privately, I do feel like it's a sense of duty and care and also like I said, responsibility to be that voice for the ones that never got to. So that when we have the next generation, we have more and more people talking about it. So if I can open up that conversation through my work and my experiences and start creating that conversation especially for our community, I think that'd be a privilege and, and it will have such a ripple effect and I really do hope it starts a conversation.

0:33:52 - (Adella Beaini): I do want to be that person. I never used to see it before I spoke. Where is the people like, you know, who can talk about these? Like this is a taboo but you know, this is so important, especially mental health. I see it in my line of work with the stories I had spoken. But then, yeah, after two years of finding myself, I'm like, perhaps I am that person who starts that conversation or one of many who starts. And I mean look at you guys doing fantastic work as well. So if we can all in our own fields, in our own platform and in our own lives and inner circle of friends and family can start that conversation.

0:34:23 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, it is important. We'll Start breaking down that taboo so it's no longer uncomfortable. It's no longer, oh, you're gonna go get help. Like, it's. No, you should go get help. You know, encourage it. Changing that tone.

0:34:33 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, I love that. Thank you for saying that. I think it should be our given this is our first episode, be that role model that I never got to see. And I think that, you know, that's how we break the cycle of shame and guilt and fear that is often entrenched in traditional cultures. Because once you talk about something, it loses its power, doesn't it? And it just becomes permission to open up about it.

0:34:58 - (Adella Beaini): It becomes like any other topic, I guess, as well.

0:35:01 - (Debbie Draybi): Yeah, it just becomes normal. Yeah, yeah. Part of day to day conversation.

0:35:05 - (Eddie Reaiche): I got another question.

0:35:06 - (Debbie Draybi): Yes, of course you do.

0:35:08 - (Adella Beaini): Full of questions today.

0:35:10 - (Eddie Reaiche): Adela. I want to. We've heard the professional side of you and I've seen the professional side of you, and I think it's an amazing. But I wonder if we can humanize you a little bit. You mentioned that you went through some dark times. Do you think you can talk a little bit about that and what that journey was like and how you went from the darkness and then, let's say, went towards the light? But what that journey was like.

0:35:36 - (Adella Beaini): Yeah, it wasn't a quick journey. It was, like I said, a couple of years. And I think as well, it was a mixture because especially with our profession, it's very hard to separate between your personal life and your professional life. Because journalism is a 247 job, really. You're always looking out for stories, you're always switched on. People are always contacting. It's a very unique field. I don't know what I can compare it to, but for us specifically, just speaking from our perspective and my perspective, yeah, it's very hard to separate the two. And I think that's what was the challenging part, because you're not really given a rule book on what to do and how do you deal with this. And like I said, you're dealing with real life circumstances. And I think that's the element that was so hard to, I guess, work through because no one can tell. And I can't look up on ChatGPT like, hey, how do I deal with this situation?

0:36:23 - (Adella Beaini): Because A, didn't exist back then, but B, it's not going to know for each scenario what to do. So I think for me it was. I went straight into journalism. It was all, you know, news, news, and then the big campaign and exposing the suicides and all that. So I was carrying a lot of problems, a lot of burdens. Yeah, I neglected myself in that process. I didn't know who I was. I didn't build the right skills or the foundation.

0:36:46 - (Adella Beaini): So when I took, I guess, that dark path, I still kept working. I was. But I lost myself. I didn't have hobbies anymore. My whole life was my work. And there's nothing wrong with work being your whole life, but you have to put boundaries and a healthy boundary to it. So I couldn't differentiate between the two anymore. It was just, I am a journalist, and then that's it. I didn't know who I was more than that.

0:37:08 - (Adella Beaini): And so when I started working on myself again, I was still going to work itself. But it was challenging. I didn't really know how to answer. I didn't know how to look after myself. It was high and low. But then, yeah, working through my faith and looking up things and that whole thing I spoke about before, trying to get in touch with life, like real life again, that was a big part of the process too.

0:37:33 - (Adella Beaini): So that took me probably, I think, at least two years. If I looked back now, I was like, I thought it was only a few months, but. And you sometimes don't see the light straight away, and that's okay. It can seem like a faint light and you're like, I just want to give up. Like, I want that instant, just overnight. I just want to feel better. An overnight fix. But sometimes you have to go through the waters and then you'll come out of it much better.

0:37:55 - (Adella Beaini): You will come out. And that's the thing. And to anyone who is going through mental health challenges, particularly like suicide as well, you know, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And I think for people who do feel like they're not okay, like I said, it is okay to reach out for help. I know we have a bit of a taboo in this topic, so, yeah, it's don't feel like permanent solution, temporary problem. It is a temporary problem.

0:38:21 - (Adella Beaini): It will get better. Just in the moment, it feels like it will never get better, but it will. So that's my sort of big encouragement to people who are going through anything related to health.

0:38:31 - (Eddie Reaiche): Well said, well said. Really well said.

0:38:34 - (Debbie Draybi): Just as we're wrapping up, I wonder whether you had any final message. You've said so many beautiful things. Anything, you know, for our listeners who

0:38:41 - (Adella Beaini): might be struggling, I think first to acknowledge that you are worth it and you are worth living again. You don't have to be suicidal, but anyone's going to very whatever mental health challenges, you are worth it. And once you know that and believe in that, now is the next step to actually say I am worth getting help for and whatever that may look

0:39:01 - (Debbie Draybi): like, that's a beautiful message. And thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and your courage, you know, to talk about your journey, your experiences. I know you make it look easy, but it hasn't been easy. It's been a long journey for you. So it's been an absolute pleasure to have you here kickstarting our season.

0:39:21 - (Adella Beaini): Thank you so much for having me. And I hope to use and continue to use my platform to hopefully just impact at least one person.

0:39:29 - (Eddie Reaiche): Well, you impacted me today, so you've done well.

0:39:32 - (Debbie Draybi): You've been amazing. Thank you so much, Adela, for your time, honestly, thank you for having beautiful having you here.

0:39:36 - (Eddie Reaiche): Thanks, Adela.