Ep. 4 - Marching Bands and Whitney Houston: Stories of Laughter and Loss

In this episode, our very first guest, Andrea, shares her six song story of the process of coming out, the pain of losing loved ones, and the life-saving role of marching band, with some tackle football thrown in! From Whitney Houston, Yolanda Adams, and Brandy to Alanis Morissette, Trick Daddy, and even Yanni (you’ll have to watch!), Andrea shares not only the stories attached to these songs, but her passion for being a musician rings loud and clear throughout. Pull up a folding chair, grab a drink, find a spot around the fire, and enjoy the conversation and community (and a good amount of reminiscing!).

Follow your hosts David, Raza, and Carolina every week as they embark on an epic adventure to find the songs that are stuck to us like audible tattoos to tell the story of who we are and where we’ve been. It’s a life story told through 6 songs. Take a listen, and as always, if you have someone whose life you’d like to hear in 6 songs, let us know.

WHO WE ARE

DAVID: Creator & Host @ALifeinSixSongs

Drummer | Educator | Philosopher | Combat Veteran | PTSD Advocate 

CAROLINA: Co-Host @ALifeinSixSongs

Storyteller | Head of Learning & Development Services @ReadySet

RAZA: Co-Host @ALifeinSixSongs

Guitarist | Lawyer | Solo Project @Solamente.Band



EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Click Here to view show transcript (click Transcript tab on page)

RESOURCES, CONTACT, AND LINKS

• Contact Andrea at andrea.snead@usta.com
• Gridiron Girls Documentary
• Follow A Life in Six Songs on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube
• Liked songs from this life story? Check out A Life in Six Songs playlist on Apple Music and Spotify
• Support our work!
• Subscribe to our YouTube channel 
• Don’t keep us all to yourself! Share our podcast with your people!
• Reach out to us at alifeinsixsongspodcast@gmail.com

Transcript

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A Life in Six Songs

Carolina 0:00

Listen and now it's now you have the visual that goes with what we're about to listen to . Just as fuck as you're opposing team like I don't know what is David ?

David 0:50

Hey everybody , welcome to another episode of a life in six songs . I'm your host , david Reese , and I'm joined by my co-host , carolina , who also happens to be my wife and my childhood friend , raza . For those of you that are new to the podcast , the whole goal here is each week we embark on an epic adventure To find the songs that are stuck to us like audible tattoos , that tell us who we are and who we've been . It's a life story told through six songs . So let's have a , let's go have a listen together . This week is super exciting . It's our first episode With our Outside guests . The first few episodes we've been , we interviewed each other . They're the three of us so you could get to know us . So if you haven't watched those , make sure you go back and check those out . And so , yeah , I'm just Super

Our First Ever Guest, Andrea!

David 1:46

excited about our guests today . It's the it's . You know the reason why I wanted to do this podcast to just , you know , get connected with People in my life and have these great conversations .

David 2:02

So our guest today is Andrea Snead , who I've known since high school . I'll give you a quick little rundown of her professional Biography . Andrea has been a professional and advocate for diversity , equity , inclusion for over 20 years and has proudly served 10 of those as a spirited facilitator . She joined the United States Tennis Association as director of diversity and inclusion in July of 2021 and works closely with community tennis , the sections , the US USDA foundation and others to increase awareness , relevance and engagement among diverse communities . Andrea holds a bachelor's degree in business , a master's degree in interdisciplinary studies . It is currently pursuing a doctoral degree in business . When she is not watching sports , she spends her time working with a collective of women , growing the sport of women's tackle football with the women's national football conference , the WNFC . See Andrea welcome .

Andrea 3:01

Hey yo .

David 3:04

Oh , this is so great , so good to have you on and and and get doing this . We'll get into all kinds of stuff . I'm gonna hand it over to Carolina , who's gonna kind of get us going here .

Andrea 3:17

Well hey Carolina .

Carolina 3:19

Hey , um , I Love that you're our first guest . Like I love that it's an Old friend . I love that it feels like family , like the , exactly the environment , that that we wanted . So we're all super pumped to have you . I did not go to high school with you . We're as in David did . So I'm gonna sit back and let you all reminisce Quite a bit and I'm excited about that . I don't know if that's a good thing . It is what it is we're about to see . So we're gonna kind of start off by

Difficult Times and Whitney Houston

Carolina 3:50

by throwing you a little bit in the deep end .

Andrea 3:52

You know , it's .

Carolina 3:53

These things are journeys and they're they're quite a ride . They've got ups and downs as our lives do , so we're gonna start a little bit in the deep end today and ask you the first song is Around a time that you were having just a difficult time what song kind of helped you through that and and what was that situation ?

Andrea 4:11

Hmm , I would probably say that the first one would be well . First of all , thank you for Allowing me to be a first year . I really need to say that first . So , thank you for allowing me to be your first guest because , like the amazing , amazing NASCAR driver said , if you ain't first year , last so , and you're throwing me in the deep end , it's cool , I know how to swim . So , regardless of what the stereotype may say that that song has to be greatest level of all for me , if it really , it really jumped started the very , very , very Unhealthy obsession that I have with Whitney Houston . It's , it's pretty bad , it's , it's so bad .

Carolina 4:59

That's still going , isn't it ?

Andrea 5:00

It is still going oh .

Raza 5:03

It is . Look at the reveal .

Andrea 5:07

There's even a photo on the back . Yeah , it's pretty , pretty bad . Rip , rip . The reason that that song is is so , so close to me , though , is and how this all kind of came about . It's one of those kind of morbid little little things that happened I remember distinctly . It's it's like , so vivid , so that's why I love you know the name of this life in six songs . Literally it's so vivid .

Andrea 5:39

I remember being in our house in in Fort Lauderdale and Blueberry Hill we lived is hilarious , but we I remember being in the kitchen area and my mom was on the phone and I overheard her talking to who I know now was my uncle in Tampa , and we lived back and forth with my great-grandmother . I mostly grew up with my great-grandmother and Didn't really live with my mom my mom , completely right , so we were going back and forth to Tampa , to Fort Lauderdale , tampa to Fort Lauderdale . So in 6th , 6th grade , my Overheard that conversation and it was about my grandmother Was had passed away and I was super close to her as she was , you know , essentially like my , my mom , because that wasn't really . It was just a strange kind of relationship there because we were going back and forth . So I just remember running in in in my room and I didn't nest . We didn't necessarily grow up in the church , but I was pretty Religious at the time and I just remember getting on my knees because I , you know , that's what you do . And you're in the church , you get on your knees and you pray and she just takes away everything .

Andrea 6:54

I'm just like she's not that , she's not that , she's not that , and I'm 10 at this time . She's not that , she's not that , she's not that . And then , no lie , my grandmother Rest her soul . My mom's mom comes into the room , because the one that passed away was my grandfather's mom comes into the room and she says you know you're , you know you're . Your great-great-grandmother died right , legit , that's how she broke the news to me and she just closes the door , she leaves and it was like I was paralyzed , didn't know what to do , turned on the radio . I should you not turn on the radio ? 105 , 105 , 105 . Yeah , hot , 105 .

Carolina 7:40

That's what it was hot 105 .

Andrea 7:45

Yeah , turn on the radio and this woman is belting this Amazing and incredible , beautiful song . I had heard you know Whitney Houston before , but in that moment it just became like a blanket and I Layed there and just streams of tears Ran down my face and it was just yeah , it was pretty , pretty epic . It was like it was out of the movie . But then what , what started happening after that was just it was not good I would . I Used to . I tried to find everything I could on this woman . I wanted to . I needed to know her life , I needed to know everything about her and was truly , truly obsessive . All because it was so connected to somebody that was so important to me . So I Mean , I remember in high school I would write my name on the paper and I would put nippy and that was Whitney Houston's nickname .

Carolina 8:53

That was her nickname .

Andrea 8:54

Oh yeah , yeah , who does that ? It's pretty stalker ish . I wrote , I wrote , I wrote letters to her . So I one time I wrote a let . I guess I wrote so many . They mailed me . I'm not lying , they mailed me Whitney Houston Fanclub card Because they're like please , please stop , I give her something right , please , please stop , please stop this little girl . And yeah , it never stopped . And it's basically how how my wife and I got together honestly , because she has a very unhealthy obsession to with Whitney Houston with Whitney .

Andrea 9:40

She's got a whole tattoo and everything , yeah , and we didn't meet until , you know , in her , in her , in her 30s .

Carolina 9:48

So see , whitney came back to pay you a solid and like help you find your soulmate . Let's take a quick . Let's take a quick listen to the Song boy . We'll chat on the other side .

Andrea 10:01

Yeah , I .

Carolina 10:42

Want to sing it , I know .

Andrea 10:46

That's all he hears is the drum .

David 10:50

It's great . A little truth to that . No , it was funny actually when , when I was , you know , preparing for today's episode and and pulling out the clips , I was like this is like towards the , you know , end of the song , when she really kind of hits it , and I was like that's got to be the clip , because that's just where you feel it . And then Carolina was actually , you know , sitting next to me and I was talking and she was like is it weird ? Just just kind of go right into this epic thing and we're like yeah , yeah .

Andrea 11:25

So good , such a great song .

Carolina 11:27

How does it feel Just the the associated memories and everything you shared like ? How does it feel listening to it now ?

Andrea 11:33

Yeah , I think every time I listen to a Whitney song , I rarely listen to that song Because of that and I don't . I didn't . It didn't make me think about that until I was writing things down . I said crap , but I really don't listen to that song specifically a whole ton . And you know , doing this made me really kind of go through and think about why , why don't I listen to that ? It's one of her best right and it's one of the most known , but it does . It takes me literally right back to that moment and I think every last song I I have and I think about in those moments that are in those pinnacle times for me , it's because it Literally takes me and transports me back to that , to that moment , and it brings up all all kind of good feelings , happy feelings , have feelings , funny , funny things .

Andrea 12:33

I think now , early on I was really upset for a really long time about how , how my grandma told me , how , how my grandmother died . But I think now I look back and , yeah , I don't want to tell a 10 year old how a family member that they were close to that . I do not want to tell someone like that because it was , you know , a little cold and I don't think she meant it that way . I think it really was . Well , she's 10 . She probably won't really understand , or you know that , that kind of thing . So it was just really , really interesting and I've had a lot of loss in my life , a lot of very close people to me , so I know it . That's really what I take from . That is alright . Well , she loved me , but hey , whitney came out of it , my very unhealthy obsession .

Carolina 13:29

I think David and I were talking about it last night as we were preparing the songs for today and particularly that song , and we were like Just how popular that song , what like I think each of us had a memory of like singing it at like elementary or middle school recitals . I was like is this the song that like catapulted all the phrases around , like children are the future and stuff . Like I Think the song was Everywhere at the time and trying to sing the Whitney Houston is like an exercise in itself . Like you get to that chorus and you're like the lung capacity .

Andrea 14:04

You're , just you're , you're exhausted , so much into it and you know you got to put all of that into it and I Dabble in a little karaoke . But I stay away from from Whitney songs because they just evoke so much emotion and I'll probably start Crying on the stage and that would just be awkward for people . I Don't know if you will see that . I want to have fun .

Raza 14:33

Yeah , not to be even more morbid , but I mean obviously you know Whitney's . Whitney's not around anymore . I mean , was that ? How was that for you ? Was that you know ? I Mean it started you . You were exposed to Whitney , you know , in a pretty significant you know moment . And then you know , and Obviously , whitney's not around anymore . So I guess , just how does that ? What sort of emotion does that bring up ?

Andrea 15:01

I Cried for days . It was , it was really bad . I cried for it . Yeah , I Actually had had surgery and I was , again one of these things I'll never forget . I think a lot of people . Oh , I remember where Michael Jackson was and I remember I was on my , I was on my couch . My son was really young at the time and he it .

Andrea 15:33

I was a single parent , so it was already , you know , tough because I was at home and I couldn't take him to To school . So I was because I was on medically for about a couple weeks After my surgery and so he was home with me that entire time and all of a sudden this just breaks and he is Unsure of what's happening to his mother . Because I'm like on the ground and it was . It's the most dramatic cries too , but I was , I was in pain , it and I'm not even embarrassed to say it right , she was so impactful for me my entire life and just the how everything went down with her and and what went down and and just the drugs and everything . And I mean I would . I was Angry when people would say she's a drughead , you better , you better watch it , don't you talk about . It was as if somebody was talking about nobody talks about Whitney .

Andrea 16:38

Did you ? Did I say that to you once ? Because I literally would say that Don't talk about Whitney Houston around me . That is not okay . I'm in my wife again with her unhealthy obsession . We would say that to our kids . You don't , you , even she is the greatest , you , you , you hush your face . Right now it's pretty bad , but no , that's a Gosh . Such a great , great question . But yeah , I was . I was pretty devastated for a very long time and still to this day , things will happen like her . Her birthday is coming up really soon , four days from now , but you didn't hear me say that . So it every , it's , it's always a it's always , always , always a tough time .

Raza 17:26

Yeah , I think one of the sort of common denominators where we've we've had and this is , you know , this is just episode number , I guess , for you're the first sort of you know Outsider , but the three of us , and now you are sort of carrying on that trend of we all have that sort of one celebrity .

Andrea 17:44

An outsider . What to try to skip over this ?

Raza 17:59

The first official guest , how about that ? But but I think we all have sort of that one celebrity or the one Singer , songwriter , entertainer . We don't know them in person , yeah , but but we feel connected . Yeah , right , and I think for almost all of us , I think for almost all , I have one . You know , dave has one , I think Carolina mentioned ones we have .

Raza 18:24

They're not around , like whoever are sort of sort of Celebrity crush or celebrity person that we just feel connected to and they spoke to us in some way . Yeah , and you know there's . They're not around there . Rock stars don't live that long for whatever reason , and and and I think that's another kind of Running theme here as well and it is hard . I mean , I've got my person , dave's got his person . Who is it for y'all ? Who's a free room ? Dave , you go first .

David 18:55

Yeah , so .

Raza 18:59

Go first . Okay , so for me it was .

David 19:03

And Andrea , you might we see who's running this interview ? I just want to point that out . We are not in charge . What happens when you have a ?

Andrea 19:15

facilitator on it's . It's hard . How do you feel right now ?

Raza 19:24

I don't know if , dave , you probably remember this , but , andrea , I don't know if you remember , but back in high school I used to wear , like I mean , I was in heavy metal mode it was black t-shirt . There was this , oh , and then minus sign green . Oh , negative , that was type O negative . And yeah , they're , they're singer . That that was my band back then . And and and then , yeah , I think it was about 2010 . Their singer , peter Steele . Yeah , and it was just like , oh , like my life , just yeah , for a good like week or so , just like . How am I gonna , you know what , forget like the no more music from these guys . But you know , just this person who you think you could relate to and their music helped you through Is , you know , really tough times and stuff like that . And you don't know him . Yeah , you know like , I saw this dude on the street be like , get the fuck away from me , who are you ? But Exactly , exactly creepy . So , yeah , so that was mine by you .

David 20:23

Mine is Neil Peart , the drummer and lyricist for Rush . Um , you know , anyone who knows me apparently knows me as the rush fan . That's , all the heads are nodding and so , yeah , he passed away right at the beginning of 2020 , unexpectedly right . I mean , he was , he was in his early 60s or 60s , but uh , but yeah , brain cancer and it was Uh , yeah , it was tough . It was tough because I mean , that's someone that's there for me , like I was , that's who I was drumming to . He was a writer also . I read his books and I felt like a similar type of personality in ways to me , and so , and this is what's like so great about , um , these stories and and and and what I wanted to get out with the , the podcast , is because , look , we have different people for us right for you it's Whitney Houston , for me it was Neil Peart .

David 21:19

However , the the feeling of that is the same , and so you telling me that about Whitney , if I think about Whitney Houston , I don't necessarily get it because that's not the person for me , but if I think about my person , I'm like oh , I , I , I , I totally get it right , and so the specifics are different , but the , the underlying relation is , is the same , and we , we have these moments and so , yeah , that's what we , we want to share , and so thank you for sharing all of this so far .

David 21:54

We're only on the first song and we're this is going to be like an eight hour podcast .

Andrea 21:58

So , carolina , carolina , real quick . Do you have ? Do you have someone like that for you ?

Carolina 22:02

I I don't have a specific person , but what ? What does happen to me quite a bit and I just recently I was having this conversation with , with our daughter Bella , about um , the 27 club and and all of these epic Performers who who died young , at 27 , for all different kinds of reasons mostly .

Carolina 22:24

You know , usually drug related and stuff like that . But what I find a lot Um are those artists that inspire you and and now even more so just with social media , Like how much access we have to their lives and we get to know them as people and how much we're like rooting for them . And when they die or things don't turn out like it hits you personally about , like your own life and where you're headed . And this can happen to me . I had a . I had a a strangely hard time with twitch's death um the dancer and yeah and um ellen's de jane's death like that .

Carolina 23:01

Who left behind a very , very young family and the circumstance of it and I I struggle with that , not because I was just like an epic , huge fan , but like the people that you think are the happiest , the people that you're rooting for , that like make you feel like , hey , life is going to be Okay when they die . It really rocks your world . Yeah , and whatever perspective you had on like are things going to be okay for me ?

Carolina 23:24

Yeah like if they can't be okay for these folks with all the resources and all the things and talent , like yep the loss of voices and lyrics and art by people like whitney and and neil , and I'm forgetting your guy's name , rosa . But now after hearing him after hearing his music recently in your In your episode like epic voices that we don't get to hear again , um , just makes me like super sad I struggle with it quite a bit .

David 23:56

Yeah , yeah , there's that sing , there's that saying of of um . You know People , people don't pretend to be unwell , they pretend to be okay , right , and so yeah yeah , sorry , rosa , you're gonna say something when , uh oh yeah , no , I was just gonna .

Raza 24:19

If there's any , you know , tiny bit of silver lining in this , is that we , they've left behind this catalog , this legacy , and it's like , you know , the fact that we can still talk about whitney and we can still talk about rush and we can still talk about , you know , typo , um and twitch , it's , that's . I guess that that's a consolation prize , but but I mean , I mean we do have that and I guess I'm glad for that that . You know , a lot of people leave behind Nothing , suffer in silence and leave behind nothing and and and yeah , I mean , our wedding party was Definitely whitney inspired .

Andrea 25:00

It was a karaoke wedding party , wedding party that we did all the my wife's mom did all the decorations for and she ordered whitney houston records and they were the center pieces and the she . She got these . They're really creative . I am not that , I'm a musician , that's all I got . And they had these little mason jars and inside of the mason jars were the lyrics to Lover for life , which is my hands down favorite whitney houston song that not very many people know . But it it was . I just always said , said , excuse me , it's always said , wow , that's such a great song to maybe get married to , or something like that . So that's what , that's what we did , and knowing that I had a , a wife who was equally obsessed with with whitney , was , was great . She always said she notches me because she , right here on her arm , she has a microphone and whitney's initials . So Whatever , I guess she went .

David 25:57

Not that it's a competition . Oh , it's a competition , it's a competition .

Andrea 26:03

You saw how rosa was like uh , when I , when I challenged him , I said what are you scared to say ? You're a person ? And he's like oh , I'll say it's always , I picked up on that .

Raza 26:15

If I had sleeves , I'd roll them up .

Carolina 26:24

All right , I'm gonna move us ahead , or or . This is gonna be a one song , a life in one song A life in one song .

Carolina 26:31

We derailed so fast . Our first guest interview , I think . Uh , you know just just the story about learning about your , your

Alanis Morissette and Everything that is Not R&B or Hip Hop

Carolina 26:40

um , great-grandmother's death , that's . That's really life changing and perspective changing for a kid , right , the the coming to terms with the fact that life ends like that's a lot for for a little kid to process and digest . Um , so , but there's other times in your life when you're exposed to new perspectives , new genres , new things . Right , we don't , we don't ever stop learning . So , um , for your next song , what ? What was the song that that kind of opened you up to an entirely new perspective ? And how did that happen ?

Andrea 27:15

Yeah , it was definitely right through you . Uh , by linus morcet , and sometimes I'll . Sometimes I get in my car and I'm like I've got a playlist that says alternatives and it's everything that I say is alternative . So , which is basically everything that's not r&b and hip-hop , so go .

David 27:36

Go see . I mean there's truth in that it's an alternative to being hip-hop .

Andrea 27:41

Yeah so it is . So that actually was the song . I heard that song and , um , as a musician , I actually love to sing as well , right , so I didn't really do that much in in high school , but I loved , absolutely love to sing and and I think it's what drew me to music and playing music in the first place . So I heard this song and this woman's voice and what she could do with it . Um , and the acoust . There was an acoustic version that she did . You remember in mtvs to do those acoustic .

Andrea 28:16

I can't remember what that's unplugged , yeah , the unplugged , and she did that and it was . It just blew my mind and I started looking up all of these other things and I think I heard and in caroline , in your podcast , rob , I think it was rosa who said something . Oh , no , maybe it was David who said something about scobby's . Again , I'm like it turned me on to , no doubt in just this whole group blind melon , and I'm like , oh , my god , these are great and I absolutely fell in love with that sound in the 90s and again , still still going . There's just days where I need to listen and that song Always starts it . Yeah , for some reason , I always start with that song and I just go down the rabbit hole .

Carolina 29:03

Let's , let's , take a listen .

Raza 29:11

You took me for a joke . You took me for a joke you took along her , look in my ass and then played golf for a while . You shake us like a fish . You pet me on the head , took me out all night , 69 me , but then in here I damn what I said .

Andrea 29:34

She like her , oh , oh , I know right her . Oh , oh , oh , yeah , I feel like her , oh , oh , oh , I walk right through her , oh oh yeah , you can tell the band , the band , the band people .

Andrea 30:06

You can always tell the band people because we hear everything , everything , and I think that's what I love about really this type of music , this genre of music . It makes me think of the different band instruments that are a part of it . Right , I think sometimes in hip hop or R&B we don't really always get that , because everything is always sometimes so synthesized or it's just a track that's laid . But the live music I think that's why I love Prince so much , because he played all of these different instruments , but that song specifically . And again , I started going down this rabbit hole with Alanis and then , all of a sudden , I learned that she had made previous albums and they were more like pop and I was like what is this ? Oh , this is bad . Yeah , yeah , she made albums before that . Did you know ? She used to date Joey from Full House ? No , no , I know , she was like Ryan .

Carolina 31:13

Reynolds for a hot bit or something like that . I didn't know that I think so .

Andrea 31:18

I started a rumor that ain't true . Right , we gotta be , careful , she's Canadian , she'll be okay . But yeah , I think just all of those things are very fascinating to me and just I loved her voice and she really she did it up in the 90s . Man , she did it up in the 90s .

Raza 31:38

Her voice was amazing . That was probably the first time that I heard like . I mean , she was very that I'm not . Is this from that same ? The Jagged Little Pill album ? Yep , yeah , and that first single you ought to know is just like wow she's angry .

Raza 31:55

That's the first time I've heard like female anger in a song . But then there's sarcasm and there's emotion and there's like a little bit of vengeance and revenge and like a few . You know it was , yeah , it's all that lumped it was . And , by the way , she was 19 when that album came out , so whatever pop stuff she did was even before that .

Andrea 32:19

Yes , that's that's what , yeah , what Totally so good she was . She was . I don't think she was underrated at the time , but I don't think people talk about her now when they talk about the great 90s grunge , grunge , great 90 grunge , music things . Yeah , and I don't think people talk about her when at least now you know when I hear people talk about folks . But you know Blink 182 , you know all those folks but I don't hear Alanis . But she was , yeah , she was angry Rosal .

Raza 32:57

You know , taylor Hawkins just passed away right Another another great you know Foo Fighters , drummer for Foo Fighters and one of the . I remember watching one of the like the memorial shows that they did for him , because Taylor Hawkins is playing drums even on this track . Yeah , I think he played drums for that entire album . Yeah , he was like an obsession guy then . Yeah , so Alanis got on stage and played you out of no at the Taylor Hawkins Memorial . Oh God that . If you guys can find a video of that , I gotta look that up .

Carolina 33:29

Epic Epic . His memorial concert , I want to say , was nominated for an Emmy or something like that .

Raza 33:36

Wow , okay , makes sense Because it was so like epic .

David 33:39

Nice , that's amazing . If we , if we find it , we'll link it in the show notes . Yeah , that's awesome .

Carolina 33:45

Yeah .

Andrea 33:46

I didn't know that every song .

Carolina 33:48

When I was listening to it last night and I was thinking about like my connection to Alanis Morcette , also as a , as a person that came of age in the 90s , and how she spoke to me and I was like there were other artists at the time , I feel like there was this like uncovering of female artists that were cursing and just like , had this rage and talking about these things . That like I felt too , you know , like the revenge and just the pain of breakups , but in this very like F you kind of way , not this just like , oh , like my heart is broken , you know , kind of way .

Carolina 34:23

Right and I was like who else was from this time and it was like whole right Courtney loves me and it was like raging and rocking garbage , no doubt Even like sultry , like Fiona Apple and just like all of these artists .

Raza 34:37

She was so good , that little like microcosm of a time .

Andrea 34:44

Wasn't the cramps , the cranberries too . What was the ?

Raza 34:47

cranberries .

Carolina 34:49

She passed away as well she passed away as well .

David 34:51

The loracera done .

Carolina 34:53

Phenomenal time , I think , female driven lead music that we were lucky enough to grow up in .

Andrea 35:01

You know , even , even , I think , even . I seem to remember Cheryl Crowe was really big around that time I didn't really listen to Cheryl Crowe , but I just remember , like you said , caroline , all of these incredible women , that it was like liberating their time in music , and it the same was happening in hip hop at the time the MC lights , the Queen , latifahs , like the Warren Hills , every . It was happening in every genre of music , which was pretty phenomenal , honestly , yeah .

Carolina 35:33

Yeah .

Andrea 35:36

Gosh , we're such music heads . I love it . I am not a sneakerhead , I'm definitely a music head , though .

Carolina 35:42

A music head . Yeah , I'm not a sneakerhead either , it's a less expensive habit .

Andrea 35:52

So unless you broke broke your tape , you broke your tape , you're you're in trouble . You got to go find a peaches and go get another one . I say that because I stood in line at peaches at midnight to get a Whitney Houston album . Yeah , I was one of those . Yes , yes .

Carolina 36:11

For folks that are unfamiliar peaches was a record store chain in the United States Frequented for everything Like like when records would would drop right . You'd have to wait , physically , wait in line to go get them . We were explaining to Bella , our daughter , one day about , like how you'd have to wait all night for concert tickets . Right , you're like in this line that wraps around the peaches location . Wherever it was , I think ours was like sunrise near the beach or whatever . You yeah , yeah .

David 36:40

It was about halfway to the beach from like plantation .

Carolina 36:42

It's like you and a couple of thousand people wrapped around this joint and then you'd get up to the desk and like but everybody else is so . Either it was sold out by the time you got to the front or they would have the laminated pictures of the stadium seating . You know that you'd have to go See where I don't want to go .

Andrea 36:58

Oh my God , shit was so online stubble over no no , no , so that that's .

Carolina 37:04

that's what peaches is for folks that are .

Andrea 37:07

But that's where you met people too . That's where you met . I was met friends and you just met . I was just going to say that yeah .

David 37:14

You'd be standing in the sitting in the line and you chatting because you got hours to kill . So you just start talking and you're all fans of whatever group you're going to buy tickets for . So , yeah , yeah . Not talking to anyone while I'm in the online queue , that's for sure .

Andrea 37:27

Talking to yourself , which .

David 37:28

Yeah Is it always good , especially if you . Damn you To yourself .

Carolina 37:32

Yeah , oh , my goodness gracious .

Andrea 37:38

All right , so just thinking about trying to do it for this .

Carolina 37:43

We are trying so hard

Coming Out and Finding Support Through Yolanda Adams

Carolina 37:45

in thinking about just transitions in life and new perspectives and new genres will kind of keep this thread going . Yeah For your next song . What's ? What's a song that you associate with with a weighty transition in your life , and if you're comfortable sharing what was that transition , yeah .

Andrea 38:06

Definitely , definitely coming out . That's it , I'm gay . For the listeners , I think that you hear folks talk a lot about oh , you know , when you come out , you're constantly coming out , you're coming out over and over and over and all of that . But they also don't always talk about how long the actual coming out takes , where you go from . Okay , I'm definitely in the closet and I want anyone to know to . Okay , I want this many people to know I'll let this circle and then maybe I'll . Okay , that circle is good , maybe I'll add in this circle because you have different circles and network of friends and family members , right , you've got your immediate family or distant family . So that whole process took me a good seven years to where I , you know , finally went from . I was completely in the closet to I'm completely out and I'm just , you know , walking around and I don't care . Who knows I'm gay , right ? I don't know what made me pause before I said gay , as if I was nervous to say I was gay .

Andrea 39:17

That was weird but I actually didn't come out until starts coming out until I was 28 . And then I think actually more along the lines of 20 , we'll say 25 , because I had my son at 24 and I knew , I think I knew I was gay , probably around 21 . I had no clue , and let me just , I had no clue in high school . I would get mad when people would say , oh she's , you're gay . Like don't you call me gay , you want to fight , you want to fight ? I think back and like , oh my God , I missed out on so many women . I missed out on so many women . And I remember distinct , distinctly to the song that just kept coming up and coming up , that I would go back to whenever I was . Just no , I can't do this .

Andrea 40:19

And it was Yolanda Adams song . She's a gospel artist and it's opened my heart and just we were talking earlier about kind of the moments in the song where it just gets really big . That song is just kind of smooth the whole way through and then there's these little moments like like , kind of like this , and little crescendos and then it goes back down and little moments and then it goes back down . But overall it's pretty smooth all the way through and I would think , because I everything would go through my mind God's going to hate me , I'm going to go to hell , I'm going to get killed or shot because people don't like gay people and there's so many . Is anyone going to ? How am I going to date a woman ? This is crazy .

Andrea 41:06

I've only dated men and I didn't really like dating men , but still that's what you're supposed to do , right ? I mean , I have a kid , oh my God . And you just start stressing and you have all of these things I had about all of these things . And then you tell that first circle , and that circle was incredible . Then you tell the next circle , and that circle was great . You tell the next one and you're like that didn't go so well , let's go back , let's go back in , let's go back in . And after every one of those moments , I just remember playing this song and either , you know , one day it's really uplifting and powerful , and then another day I'm super sad . So it just evokes so many strange feelings and emotions , and I love singing it too , because you want to add them . Talk about a voice .

Carolina 41:55

Yes , yeah , another beautiful , beautiful voice . Let's take a listen . Now , what if I choose the wrong thing to ?

Andrea 42:29

do ? I'm so afraid afraid of disappointing you . So I need to talk to you and ask you for your guidance , especially today . Like those words how did you know ? How did you know , Yolanda ? Yeah , you can't really tell me , Carolina . Your face is like yeah .

Carolina 43:05

Well , I'm reading through your questionnaire and reading , like you know , specifically like what you just shared , what memory is tied to this song and I hadn't heard it . So I , like you know , cue it up and she sings so clearly that like the lyrics are , you know , and I'm just like I just picture , like not just you , but every kind of LGBTQ kid that's like , sitting there trying to figure out how to do this , like alone , not wanting to disappoint their society , their parents , their loved ones . They're , you know , just like , struggling and grappling with this choice , and I just want to like hug like somebody , like , but the song is just beautiful .

Andrea 43:49

I am so and my wife and I talk about this all the time . Just , I get so empowered by our youth who are so brave to come out . I laugh and I kid and I , you know , joke about the women I missed out on . Okay , maybe that's not as much joke , but I digress . You know I kid about the women that I lost out on . But in all honesty , I really was lost in high school and I really do truly believe that I probably would be doing not so great things had I not had had banned . I felt it kept me grounded .

Andrea 44:34

I was around a group of people who really did accept me for the you know nerdy musician that I was and I really felt like I could be myself to a certain extent If I knew one person that was gay in high school . I didn't know anyone , no one in my family . I didn't know anyone in high school . If I would have had just one person that was out . That because I always say , whenever I'm facilitating anything from an inclusionary standpoint and a culture standpoint , people go where they see themselves . If I would have had just one person , I really felt like it would have made my music better . I felt like it would have made me as a human being better . I probably could have . So that's why you know , youth that come out to their family , youth that are hiding from their family but out to their friends . I just I'm so empowered by just all of their bravery because I think back to my I was not brave . The writing was on the wall . David Rosal , y'all cannot tell me . Y'all did not think I was gay .

Raza 45:46

I , frankly , I had no idea Rosal was to .

Raza 45:49

Rosal , your hair was , you couldn't really see his body but oh , I mean , I remember I , so I remember you being a complete badass . I was like Andrea , you know , like you , you sort of love people in different categories or whatever . Your category was badass , it wasn't , it wasn't , it wasn't related to or I had no idea about anyone's orientation or anything like that . I was going to actually ask you a question and I want to approach this very , very sort of carefully , delicately but and you don't have to name names , but I'm just , I'm curious about you mentioned you came out to your , to your circle . So is is , and I'm guessing it's different for for different people . But was your circle like close family first and then went outward , or was it friends and then the last piece of the puzzle was your immediate family ? How did I can .

Andrea 46:44

I'm good with name and names . The first first people I came out to was , ironically , david , amy Dalymba we talked about Amy a little earlier and I came out to Amy Dalymba and there was a couple of other people that we hung out with and and it was my and Kalea , and I came out to those three first and first of all , all of their reactions was , oh my God . Finally , oh it was . You know , it was the dramatics for me , it was all right , we need to go to dinner . I'll be in , I'll be in full order dill . So please , let's get together . We need to talk and you know , we , we left . I can't even remember where our kids were , because Amy had had her , her , her daughter , and I had my son and with the kids were somewhere . I was like okay . So I have something to tell you all .

Andrea 47:42

I don't remember the restaurant , but I remember what it looked like . So I have something to tell you all . And they're like all on pins and needles . One of them was like are you pregnant ? Again I said no , no , that was not a fun experience for me and I did that because I felt like I needed to , but glad I did because I love my son , but never again , no . And then finally I said I'm gay and it was a literal right . Do you have a girlfriend ? Or I'm like no , I'm , I'm , I'm gay , that's , that's the thing . And they said , yeah , we know , we were just waiting for you to figure it out .

Andrea 48:27

Yeah and that was that reaction and it was just they were themselves and they . It was just absolutely incredible . There were no hugs , like they didn't make a massive deal out of it . The thing that they did , which was absolutely hilarious , was so which one of us do you , would you date ? And then when I told them , they're like of course it's her . Oh my gosh .

Carolina 48:55

You gotta love your friends .

Andrea 48:57

Got it . But yeah , no , that's a fantastic question and I , you know it doesn't . I think years ago again , during that seven year , those seven years , I probably would have never said that or wanted or felt comfortable to answer that question because , you know , I really wasn't out and I didn't realize it was that long of a span of time until I got to my job that I was at for 11 years , worked at UCF for 11 years , and it was the very first job in place that I was fully out and that was the last part of my kind of coming out . Transition was when you're fully out at work , because at work it's , it's even more difficult than it is coming out to your friends or to your family and your , your family , in my opinion , because , depending on where you work , because that's your livelihood , I had a kid to take care of . So if you can't , yes , you can't fire someone for that , but it happens , right ? It ?

Carolina 50:00

still happens . You know what happens . Yeah , the risk is real .

Andrea 50:03

I was really worried , I was really scared and I think , having just meeting some of the people that I met with and I remember them having these safe zone placards in their offices when I went on my interview and I went around the office and they had these little safe zone . And if you don't know what safe zone is , it's a basically a training for people to really learn and understand the LGBTQ plus community . And when you get this placard , it's a pride flag and it says safe zone certified or something like that on it . So you go through this course so that people like me who are walking around this building are thinking , oh wow , okay , I'm okay here , I'm comfortable here . Well , my dumb self had no idea that that's what that was . I literally thought everyone was gay . It's going rough .

Carolina 50:55

Oh , you thought the signs meant everyone .

David 50:57

That's awesome .

Andrea 51:02

I literally thought everyone was gay . I'm home .

Raza 51:08

I love that .

Andrea 51:11

I was still the only one . I was still the only one , but it was . You know , it was good . But that's the point , right , people go where they see themselves . So , yeah , it was good .

Raza 51:23

Awesome . No , thank you . Thank you for sharing that , though .

Carolina 51:29

Moving

Marching Band, Yanni, and High School Memories

Carolina 51:30

us ahead , but actually we're going to move back . So time travel to you a little bit . There We'll zoom out of kind of the heavy and the weighty transitions of your life and we're going to ask you for that song that instantly transports you back to a specific time and place in your life . What is it ?

Andrea 51:52

Santorini , and I'm not talking about Greece . I am talking about that's Greece , right ?

Carolina 51:58

Yeah .

Andrea 51:59

So long Can we edit ? We're going to edit that out , listeners now . Santorini by Yanni is a song that takes me and puts me in this red , white and blue ugly ass uniform Actually , the newer uniforms were way better than the old ones With my horn in my hand , standing on the 50 yard line , raising it , waiting , waiting for the announcer to say Band drum , major , is your band ready ? That's what it makes me think of and I put my freaking horn up and me and my two friends are standing flanked of me and we start playing . No one else is playing and we start the playing . That's what I think about . That's what I think about .

Raza 53:01

And do you remember when we were called ?

Andrea 53:05

Yep , we going to do that right now .

David 53:08

No , we were talking about that last night .

Andrea 53:12

The fact that our high school's name and yeah , Let me tell you about it the year of the plantation kernels freshman year . I will never forget going in the we had the PE it was like PE and health kind of thing sitting in this classroom and again , I'm a freshman , you know sitting in this classroom . I'm sitting in the back , which I knew I shouldn't have sat in the back because I got this thing with being a black person sitting in the back of the room . In case you're wondering , I sat in the back and I was like dang , I really don't want to sit in the back , I need to sit in the front . So I sat in the back , turned around and it was this big ass mural of this racist looking kernel . I said , oh , where am I ? I was . So I said , oh , this is going to be good .

Andrea 54:10

Even though the middle school went to plantation middle , it was still named the same . But that , that image of that kernel , it's geared into my brain and of course all of my friends make fun of oh , you went to a plantation . Hey , you're on the plantation . Okay , all right , yeah , bring on all the jokes , yeah , yeah , but they change it to a C .

Carolina 54:31

Yeah , like they're not the kernels anymore , right ?

Andrea 54:35

Well , I think it's still the kernels . I don't think it's changed . No , I don't think it's . I heard it .

David 54:41

I heard it change that they're the plantation . Was it pythons or something ? I heard they changed the mascot or there was talks of changing the mascot .

Andrea 54:51

There was talks , but I remember when we were in high school they actually changed it from Remember they had the kernel that was on the helmet and they changed it to the C , like the Cincinnati Reds C . Right , yeah , but anyway , fans , that's what this goes back to . Yeah , yeah , we ended up putting that . Our band director shout out to V David Carbone . That poor guy man , we gave him hell . He was fresh out of college .

David 55:24

But just a few years older than us .

Andrea 55:26

Yeah , my sister was older than him . My sister was older than him , so I would clash with him so much Like , oh , I'm with you , my sister is older than you . But then , five minutes later , could you please play more , because you're just so talented and so incredible . This is this weird big brother obsession . But he , him and his friends , they arranged this incredible arrangement of all of these Yanni songs and it just skyrocketed us into oblivion . I never looked at music the same again , because he just man .

Carolina 56:03

Wow .

Andrea 56:04

Yeah , still to this day .

Carolina 56:06

Well , let's take a listen , yep you go .

Andrea 56:55

Because you , just you , oh man , it's so excited . And he did this in our drum break , was we ? We were the only band . We had a full fricking orchestra pit on the sideline Like on , who does that for a marching band ? We had timpani's , everything . It was just yeah , speechless . Rosa , did you answer that ?

Raza 57:24

Yeah , no . So we were , I was , I had the big bass drum , but no , the drum line wasn't marching then , but we had the killer drum solo , holy crap , I was telling Dave last time . So I can't read music . And we , yeah , so when , when ? No , I can't . Guitar tabs , yeah , but , but no , I could not tell you see , from E to what on the music notation , no idea . So we learned that drum , drum , break , drum solo , like , we learned it by ear , we did it in sections . And when we did , you know , like the band camp , the infamous band camp you know , going into , I guess , 10th or 11th grade , yeah , we , so I mean we learned it by ear . I know , dave , I mean Dave , come on , dave , he can do anything . So the snare drums basically taught the rest of us all of the little parts when we did it in sections .

Andrea 58:26

And , oh my , God , yeah , I did not know that , I did not know , ok , so it's like my blowing right now . I'm going to go back to everything I'm just thinking about , because usually low brass in the drum line would always be on the bus for for the for pretty much everything . But I'm just thinking about how we used to be on the bus , on the bus Either to a competition or to a football game and literally singing our parts on the bus , doing doing the show on the bus .

Andrea 59:12

We were so in love with the show .

David 59:15

Yeah , we do a full like run through .

Andrea 59:16

I want to say yeah , beating on the on the seats . And yeah , for some reason , we would then start to transition to I don't know if you remember this , but I think about it all the time we would transition to TV show songs . Tv show theme songs , yes , weird , the weirdest things and to this day I still love TV show theme songs . But just the fact that this man and I think it was him , and in deep , that , my deep that ended up doing this entire arrangement , I think people underestimate Band like the band kids and the kids that marched and did competitions , sometimes At what goes into it . We may not have been football players on the field , right , but holy moly , our , our halftime shows . When he came in , oh my God , I mean . Remember Mr Hudson , remember our show Freshman Year , david . Oh my God , so terrible . Carolina , we had , like these White sheets , literal sheets , oh my literal sheets on our uniform .

David 1:00:31

Kind of like a cape , yeah , but they only hang . They hung like on one side or something under the lapel , but they were long . They would go like to your knee or something crazy .

Carolina 1:00:43

Did it get in the way of ?

David 1:00:44

the interest .

Carolina 1:00:46

Yes , I imagine oh dear .

David 1:00:48

Oh my , it was so . That was . We had these long plumes Like normally . It's just like a little feather on top . But this was like and all the parents were making them it was this hanger and then all of these metallic strips tied on them , so it was just a hanger .

Andrea 1:01:07

Yeah , yeah , it is . Take that , I remember it's like a line God , there's got to be a picture somewhere out there . No , I hope they're all burned . I need them to be all burned .

Carolina 1:01:20

I need to put a visual to this description .

Andrea 1:01:24

It would get caught . It was so .

David 1:01:27

You remember standing there and going like this it was so big , it would come down and come behind you and it had , like I said , these streamers coming off , so they kind of sit on your shoulder and so the drum line when we put our drums on , you've got these shoulder . You know , I know what you call them shoulder harness , harness , thank you , thank you , and it would get stuck on there , but you wouldn't know at first . And then you try and turn your head and you're like , oh , I mean , here's so bad .

Carolina 1:02:02

But that's what they mean . All kinds of people get in their heads jerked back by these boys .

David 1:02:08

Or they would be , they would . They were just in a hole in the shake of the cup shape , shake of yes , oh , my goodness , all these terms I haven't mentioned forever . And sometimes when we catch someone's and it would spin around . So instead of going backwards like a main , it would go forward like a little kitten toy and hanging in front where you could like .

Andrea 1:02:32

You have to be still . When you're at the competition you have to be still . You can't . So we're standing out of tension and you're going oh , but that's what made all the all , the , all the the not that not good show . Freshman year , I think junior year was also a not so great show . Oh yeah , oh right , yeah , yeah , we played that . It was all . But the screen year , sophomore year that was his , that was Garbones first year with us was absolutely phenomenal . So we're thinking when we had a not so great year the following year , we're like , uh , senior years cost can be so bad .

Andrea 1:03:20

We we were at band camp and I remember playing this for the first time and said we're going to win everything . We are going to win everything because our for band camp we were separated from the drum line , so they're learning their thing , we're , we're learning our thing , music wise . And then you come together and you have , uh , drill , drill stuff , so you learn the drill and then in the evening you do the whole run through with everyone . So we didn't really know what was going on with the drum line .

Carolina 1:03:54

They didn't really know what was going on with us .

Andrea 1:03:56

But when you finally do this , run through with everyone on the last day , with your parents there and everything , it just it blew our mind . So we it was . It was almost like we knew you know what we had this swagger about us . This is going to be the show , and sure enough that very first , the first competition we did was the Heartland Invitational . And watch you look , florida and we're we're playing . Our band was smaller , I would say we 75 people at the most , and you know you have the , the JP , terrell , bella's and the creek and all of those schools . I remember . Do you remember saying beat Creek at competitions ? We used to say that all the time .

David 1:04:40

I don't remember it , but yes , I remember . I remember the thing , I remember all the things we used to say when you get called to attention .

Andrea 1:04:48

Yeah , and that was one of them , because we wanted that . That band was like 200 piece and you know , you , you start seeing all of these great ones Like we're freaking good . What do you mean ? We're great musicians and you know we were doing . We were doing yoga at band camp before . It was cool . We were literally like yoga and meditation type things and visualizing our , our horn instructor would have us all laying down and even outside on the pavement .

David 1:05:18

Yeah , We'd be in the middle of running through everything practicing and he would stop us all and be like everyone lay down right where you are , yep , yep , and then go through this meditation . It was , it was all , yeah , it was all about um , uh . His metaphor was , you know , starting from the top of your head , and it was like look , it was like let the water run out , and then there were little drains on the ground and just let all of that run out of your body into the drains in a way .

David 1:05:45

And yeah , none of us knew like this was meditation or whatever . It was just like oh , this is really cool . And then after we , when we got up , we're like you're clear , I feel better . Yeah , yeah , I feel better .

Andrea 1:05:58

And you don't connect those dots until again later , um , and I started realizing , holy crap , that that was , that was why we had such great performances and we , just we were able to let go and be free and just let everything come through those horns and I mean it's . It's the same feeling that I would have when I would play sports . You know , uh , same , exact , same , exact thing , same exact thing , and I mean that's all that , that's all . That whole show was just incredible . Thank you , thank you , carbone , seriously .

Raza 1:06:36

Thank you for for for bringing that , all those memories back up . I mean , this is absolutely . When I saw Yanni on the list , I'm like , oh my gosh , this is going to be so good .

Andrea 1:06:48

So is it ? Is it good that I'm constantly living in the past , or what's your life Right ?

Carolina 1:06:55

I mean we're asking you to reflect back , right ?

David 1:06:58

So it's a it's a , it's a question , it's a purpose driven yeah .

Raza 1:07:02

Purpose driven discussion .

David 1:07:03

Yeah , it's , it's a definite question I have , you know , in in putting this podcast together and wanting to have these conversations , is it , you know , are ? Are we doing this sort of just unhealthy nostalgia where we just aren't living in the present and we're just living in the past ? And I , I see it as you know , we talk about our past because a lot of times we don't right , we don't go back and kind of , you know , think it through and talk it through and all those types of things . And so , I see it as you know , we're going through the past to give us guidance and and uh uh , insight for now and what's coming forward in ways , right , I see it as you know , we're telling these stories and hopefully people listen to them . It it opens them up a little bit . It feel , makes them feel a little bit connected , makes them feel like they're not alone and stuff which is all about moving forward , right .

Andrea 1:07:59

As we get older , I think we sometimes forget what . What gave us so much energy as a kid ? What gave us so much excitement ? What made us happy ? Uh , I tend to talk about a lot , either when I'm facilitating or when I'm just at work . People are always like how do you have so much energy at work ? You're constantly smiling , you're always and and I don't tell them this , but that I do that because If I really sat down and thought about all the frustrations or the tragedies that I've had in my family and I've had just in my life overall , I probably would not be in a good place .

Andrea 1:08:48

So , having gone through , you know , depression and things like that and having anxiety , currently I have to do those things . So I have to . I've had to consciously sit down and think what are those things that bring me joy ? And those things that bring me joy is music , playing music .

Andrea 1:09:11

I cared about absolutely nothing throughout high school , not even classes , nothing but but but music . Music was my everything . It wrapped me up inside . Like I said , mentioned earlier that that song was my blanket . Um , even now I don't do very much without some sort of music , some sort of uh , when some of my folks at work . They say you're like a walking jukebox , you , you're constantly either humming or singing or something . And you know , it's taken me a while to really realizing , come to the come to the conclusion that , wow , I really . That was why I was so into music back then , because it just gave me this feeling inside . So you know , I I joke when I say , um , living in the past . But no , man , there's just some days where I need , I need to relive those moments . And of Yanni and you know I was , I love , I love my horn , I love my horn , man . So I still may or may not have a euphonium in my garage .

David 1:10:23

Nice , bust that out , right , right , I need , I need like bust it out like the high school football Letterman jacket . Look at me .

Andrea 1:10:35

That , literally , is what my kids said to me what's up when ? What are you ? It's like your jacket or somebody still have this thing , you don't even play it . You don't understand , you just don't understand .

Carolina 1:10:48

I , I hear you , I , I , I was not in band . I don't play any instruments . Um , I love music but I'm not a musician . Uh , and when I was , I just love watching the three of you just like flow down memory lane because I can clearly see the effect this had on all of you . Um , when I was listening to the song preparing for this , I , I was like I've heard of Yanni but I wasn't super familiar with like just the fact they're instrumental . Listening to David and I'm like there's no words to the song and he was like I'm just gonna stop you right there .

Raza 1:11:23

It's better not talk about Yanni like that .

Carolina 1:11:27

Like , look , you don't get it . You're not going to get it . This is about band , we'll talk about it on the podcast . But like that's what this is . And I was like , okay , all right . Um , and so , while the three of you just like joyfully relive this time in your life , um is really fun for me to watch . I think , for a number of different reasons , high school can be just so fucking hard , um , that you just got to find whatever way to get through it and survive . You're you're trying to find yourself . You're like not finished developing .

Carolina 1:11:59

You know um all kinds of external sources out there , from bullying to just romantic issues to your family , like it's just a rough time that you got to get through , um and so , if this is what did it for all of you and gave you like community , and gave you clearly some lessons and things that you're still pulling from today , much later in your lives , like it's really awesome to watch .

Andrea 1:12:23

Wait , not much later , just later yeah .

Carolina 1:12:27

Like a hot second way Eons down the road now .

David 1:12:33

Yeah , yeah , I mean I , I uh going back to kind of the nostalgia question and stuff , like I see it in this way of an Andrea , when you were just explaining that and seeing your passion , that that you had and have for music , that I saw in you . Right , like Raza said , you know , my memory of you is a badass right , like you said , like you are , you were , you know um , she had the bandana and the horn .

Raza 1:13:01

That's just killed this . Yeah , yeah , I'm gonna kill this .

David 1:13:05

Yeah , just that , that that energy you brought with everything , just you know , wonderful , and I see it in a way a little bit of , um , like we said , as we get out of you know , and we , we come adults and and do these things ?

David 1:13:23

Um , we can . We can start doing things we think we're supposed to do . Right , I'm supposed to be . It's time to grow up . It's this , you know , and that was what I did when I left high school and went to college . I didn't do music , I wasn't in band or anything like that , and that was my life . Before that , I was in every band , you know , marching band jazz band symphonic band orchestra , winter guard , winter drum line , like new star , jesus .

David 1:13:46

Yeah , all of that , um , and and then after I , you know , I stopped and went to college and just sort of was like , oh , it's time to like , you know , I guess I'll major in criminal justice and go to law school and be a lawyer , and you know these no offense against lawyers , I know you're a lawyer . Sorry , I realized this . I was saying that that didn't come out the best way , um , but what I meant was with that is that I didn't really have an interest or passion in that . It was just sort of like what I felt , like I'm supposed to do , I'm , I'm somewhat smart , I guess , you know , had the ability to go to college and whatever . So this is what I'm going to do , it's supposed to do , and I think , kind of going back to some of these points , whether it's a point in high school or a point later in life .

David 1:14:34

But you're looking back where you were passionate about something with this pure commitment , like you said , we didn't think about anything else . Right , that was life . Yeah , um , that's helped me now , 20 , some odd years after it , having , you know , gone this road of the military and academia and middle school , high school teaching and veteran services and stuff , to get to a point where I'm like you know , what are the things I really value and really kind of inspired me and it's , it's , you know , it's music in in just so many ways , which is you know where the idea for these conversations in this podcast came from . So , yeah , yeah , I just really appreciate you sharing all that and , yeah , having this conversation it's , it's great .

Andrea 1:15:21

Yeah , we got to do a better job of being being okay with that piece , right ? Um , I know it's something that my wife and I want to make sure our kids know . Like , look , we , we want you to be happy and you can . You can still be happy in whatever work you choose to do , if you're doing something that you enjoy . So try to pull those things . Yeah , I mean , I'm sure my kids would enjoy to play video games all day , every day . Right , there's a , there's a place for folks who want to do that . There is a job .

Andrea 1:15:56

So if you want to do that job right , say they want to be a streamer . I remember one of my our our kids wanted to be a streamer and we said , all right , you love playing video games , but it's do you know what else goes into that ? Like there's other pieces and aspects of work that go into that . So figure that out , we'll get the equipment , we'll buy this , we'll do this , we'll get the equipment . But you enjoy playing video games , but there's another piece that goes along with that . If you want to be a streamer playing video games and doing only that , right . So I think that if you don't know that piece of it , then you may have to transition and do something else .

Andrea 1:16:37

But I , I , it was very strange and almost sad for me to hear that you just kind of were like nope , bye-bye , music , right ? Because let me tell you , we all knew Rush was that thing for you , right ? And you know , drummer , there's just , you know . First foremost , thank you both of you for for the kind words you you said about me from from high school and this badass term you uh , choose to choose to throw around . Um , it was , it's just for me , it just spoke to me and I felt you were the same way . So to hear that you just kind of went to college and you were like , yeah , I'm good with music and that's that's , that's strange to hear . But I'm glad you you've really um kind of reconnected with with that later later on and and realized , yeah , I don't want to be a lawyer . Sorry , robin .

Raza 1:17:33

I always thought back to cause I was only in band for a year , right and I've . I've had nothing at all introspective and said this is , this episode is not about me .

David 1:17:43

But just yeah , but it's not about me , but I'm going to make it .

Raza 1:17:51

Well , I'm , I'm , I'm about to bring it back to all you guys in just a second , hopefully . Yeah , but I always wondered , you know , um , I always saw the passion in everyone that was in band camp about music and things like that . I didn't recognize it as much until , you know , very recently , um , but yeah , so I did band for a year and I think junior senior year was just like , okay , you know all sorts of , you know our family dynamic at home . Was that okay , look , high school is for purpose , to get the college . So do whatever you need to do to get the college . And then , you know , become someone , lawyer or whatever . Um , so it was like but , anyway , so I did band , I did it for a year and then you know , like I said , you know , we , we , we haven't . I mean Andrea , I haven't . You know , this is the first time we've connected in like 30 , some odd years .

Carolina 1:18:43

Adding decades .

David 1:18:44

Whoa , I'm sorry . I love how we just keep rounding up to it yeah , 25 years , 25 years , 30 . 30 .

Andrea 1:18:53

And I did the quick math in my head , I'm like no bro , it wasn't 30 . Stop , it's not 30 yet .

David 1:18:58

Okay . Okay , okay , 20 and a half A long time , a long time In a long time .

Carolina 1:19:02

It's been a long time .

Raza 1:19:04

And that's why I'm a lawyer , because I suck at math , oh my God . But one of the question marks in my life was that you know , I know I can , I love music , I love playing music , I'm all about music . I only did band for a year and it's like what will come of it and , honestly , like I can . I reconnected with Dave over veterans advocacy and things like that , and I wanted to know about his experience , and my practice at the time was was about you know , veterans advocacy and and representing veterans and their disability .

Raza 1:19:37

You know compensation cases and I was like , well , I , you know my buddy Dave from band and but and there was about a gap of a few decades that I was trying that there was like a blank space , right . But the only connection to this guy and now you and now this podcast is that one year in band , yeah , and , and so for me , that question mark of you know , does that mean that you're going to ? Does this matter ? Does that passion that that was there for a year matter ? Does what you love matter ? I think it does , because it's culminated in this and I really appreciate that .

Andrea 1:20:14

Yeah , and what's ? What's really really funny , raza , is hearing you say you were only in for a year . I said , holy crap , like that's right . Oh shit , you were only there for a year . But you are . You were seared in my brain right , because it was Raza that do with the awesome hair , and you know you were just so , so nice and you know you're fairly fairly quiet because you know everyone was quiet compared to my loud mouth self , but I mean , again , it was . You were still someone that I knew , right . I guarantee you , if there's some people are like I don't remember who the heck you're talking about now , but for someone who was only there for a year , you clearly had an impact on me as well . But it was because as soon as I heard Dave say her name , I was like yo , raza , what's up ?

Raza 1:21:14

Thank you , and you're always nice to me like I said , you know , I'm sure this is probably the first time that we've had like an in depth conversation as an adult , because we were kids , then we were you know who knows right . But yeah , no , you were definitely nice to me and other than that , yeah , you were fucking badass and that's all that matters .

Andrea 1:21:35

Why do we keep saying I was a badass , I was alright . You know , I may or may not have won the John . Phillips's award but it goes to the best musician in the band . It's not a big deal .

Raza 1:21:47

When I say badass , here's what I mean . I mean that someone who takes their shit seriously and you took that horn seriously , man , you know , and I because we are band nerds , let's be honest you know band we are not on the football team , but when we were in it , you know we took it seriously and we certainly got a lot out of that experience as a whole . So , yeah , so when I say badass , that's what I mean that you know that you were passionate about what you were doing . You knew your place within the section . You knew this , this , this yanni , you know a composition , concoction , amalgamation that had been created and , man , we rocked that shit and , yes , we kicked ass at Wachula and the Heartland Invitational and every award we could possibly get .

Andrea 1:22:40

We got it . We walked away with 17 awards at that . It was nuts . It was like best for this , best for this , best for this .

Andrea 1:22:49

You have a much better memory than I do because I take so much pride in that show , specifically because it was . I had a lot of solos in that show and I think I the one regret I have is never marching core is never marching drum core because I couldn't afford drum core . But I remember being able to get scholarships or whatnot but then I never asked my mom could I do it , because I didn't think she would let me take charity or you know to do that and be gone for the whole summer , right , but so that for those listeners out , there that don't know what you know .

David 1:23:29

Drum core is , in our , you know , a little bit confused by all of this marching band talk . So marching band , you know what ? Yeah , for Carolina and all everyone else you know . So most people know marching band . That's associated with high school plays at the football game and stuff . We're all familiar with that . There's also a thing called drum core . That happens in the summer and these are sort of regional groups and you can perform in them up till 21 and they go on tour over the summer and they tour around and play all these competitions . So it's all the drum cores competing against each other and it's kind of like the like the premium .

Carolina 1:24:06

If you're good at marching band . It's you have to try out .

David 1:24:08

It's , it's , you know , intense , but it's a full on commitment and so , yeah , so that's what , andrea , you know , I had the opportunity to me , to me , to play and so that that was my core right , that that , yonnie here , was my core , because I think that that was when I realized how good I was .

Andrea 1:24:29

I think that was really . I thought I was a pretty decent musician , pretty good , but that was when I realized how really good I was at at not just my horn but at music as a whole , and that was I started playing piano . And rosa , it's funny , you talk about not being able to read music . I can read music and I play by ear and have perfect pitch . So I a lot of what I did , because I started arranging different things and did it all by ear and I didn't realize how talented you have to be to play things by ear because I read music . I almost took that piece for granted . But my , my father , my biological father , he's a musician . He played , he played guitar and they , they send keys and all of that , and then my grandfather played , so music was just all around me and I was supposed to be a musician for sure .

Carolina 1:25:20

So yeah yeah , I love this conversation for for the life lessons that I think it teaches us . Right like you can try and and stray from from that thing at your core that you're super , super passionate about , but look at us years later , literally sitting here talking about music and the role that it plays in our lives .

Carolina 1:25:41

Still , I think , I think you can run , but not too far . I think those things follow you and you know , as an advocate for art education , how it saves youth and brings purpose and meaning to their life . Yeah , I think if there's a lesson here , it might be not to ignore that thing that you're super passionate about . I think it causes challenges and pains when we try and run from from our , our calling , our thing right .

Carolina 1:26:09

So true , and so I've loved to hear you all just like , passionately , love this song so yummy and like remember that time . But we also have music out there in our lives that we struggle to listen

Brandy's "Best Friend" and a Year of Loss

Carolina 1:26:25

to . It's deeply connected to , to pain or trauma in our lives , and so we're going to divert a little bit and ask you of a song that you , that you , that you struggle to listen to , or maybe even have to turn off because it brings up difficult memories , what is that for you ?

Andrea 1:26:40

oh yeah , there's a , there's a couple there's actually to believe it or not , but the main , the main one is best friend , by Brandi . Brandi wrote that . I don't think she wrote . I'm not really sure if she wrote it , but she sings that song and it's she's singing it to her brother , who she's really close with Ray J , so who also made me music pretty bad . But anyway , you didn't hear me say that Ray J , if you hear this , ray J actually dated Whitney Houston . How we bring that full circle .

Carolina 1:27:16

Anyway , she's going to be six degrees from Whitney Houston .

Andrea 1:27:21

I know every time every time that we need to rename it now , this episode . So she she in the video it's her and her brother and their dancing and they're singing and that's how my relationship was with my brother . And my brother actually passed away in 2016 , the day after his birthday , so he actually was in the hospital on his birthday . He was in the hospital for a little bit and I just remember my last conversation so that every time I hear that song because they sing and we used to playfully do the same dance that Brandi would and her and Ray J would do in the in the video and you know another 90s kind of kind of music musician with Brandi and yeah , I'll be , you know , have a different playlist on repeat and then all of a sudden , that song will will come on and next I think I don't . I can honestly say I don't think I've played that song all the way through without bursting into tears and I'm talking about full on ugly cry . My brother he had a lot of he a lot going on drugs and not a prison , but when his kids were born he was just such a fantastic father still was struggling with drugs , but just a phenomenal father and his daughter was diagnosed . My niece here was diagnosed with leukemia at three and I it was just crazy everything that happened along with that and she was back and forth in the hospital and she ended up getting through . It absolutely loved frozen , so let it go is the other song I can't really get through and she would . She would sing , she . I just have these videos of her in the hospital and she's singing let it go and like girl stop , and it just .

Andrea 1:29:37

She actually passed away and at seven , in February of 2016 , so eight months later , my brother , eight months later , my brother died same year . During that time I talked about roses hair , I had dreads , so that whole . I had dreads for years and I think I was on my seventh or eighth year something like that ninth year of my dreads and they were halfway , halfway down my back . I had to clip them sometimes because they would get too long and you know you wrap them up in everything and I'm not religious , I call myself spiritual and I just felt the weight of everything . And then in December , twenty third , twenty sixteen I cut . I just cut my dreads off . I couldn't do it anymore and it was almost like this weight I was trying to lift but I never really still dealt with my brother's death and still to this day it's just still a struggle .

Andrea 1:30:37

So yeah , yeah that freaking song man . I know every time someone will apologize because we're going to take a brief listen for those that aren't familiar with the song , just so they can get a slight feel for it's already like it's already well enough hang in there .

David 1:31:02

It's just a little bit we're going to get through it .

Andrea 1:31:05

There we go , yeah yeah , yeah he is my dude man , yeah , listening to it now , yeah yeah , I just think about all the tough things he went through and you know did and selling drugs , to be in on drugs to prison , and you know just how , just how hard it was and I don't think I've ever really talked much about it . But when , when my niece had leukemia and they find found out and she had a really rare , rare form of leukemia but she had to have , they wanted to like test everyone bone marrow for perspective and they test their bone marrow and the only match was was my brother and they , that was when we found out he actually had AIDS . Really that was when we all found out and he had . He knew he hadn't told anybody and yeah , it's just those those kind of things that that happened . So you know he had already had like a class long and just all these things .

Andrea 1:33:23

And you sometimes you think about the people who have passed away and and some a lot of people . They tend to say to me I wish I would have said this and I wish I would have said this and I always told my brother I love them , even though you know he did some pretty , you know , not so good things and he did some not so good things to that affected me and I'm not . They're not themselves . You know when , when they're on drugs and they're doing those things . And he , he had taken my car .

Andrea 1:33:57

One time I came downstairs getting ready for work and my cars got . You know , he had sold it , so you know having to get it and then he went missing . It's just all these things and but at the end of the day , that man , he loved me and he was proud of me . He loved me when I still have this card . He sent me this Easter card for other . I don't even know why it was a card , but he sent me this Easter card and in it he writes about how my brother's penmanship can we just talk about the fact that my brother's penmanship was so incredibly . You remember how girls would like write these big bubble letters and their penmanship was so great .

Raza 1:34:39

I think my brother wrote .

Andrea 1:34:41

So I look at that and this man had such great penmanship mine sucks , but but he could draw and he was so great at drawing and you know watching watching my son draw it . Just I draw that parallel with my brother and he in this card he talks about how he is so proud of me and so I keep that close , close to my , to my heart . And I had a . My mom lives with us currently and she lived in this complex and it got hit by hurricanes so she lost everything in that and but in her house were the urns of my brother and my niece and I had so much anxiety because we couldn't get into the apartment for months . It was about three months before we could finally get in there and it was because there's pretty much condemned and sure .

Andrea 1:35:47

I that entire time . I mean this , this was recent , this is a year and a half ago or so and I just I couldn't breathe . It was just so such a struggle for me not to know what was going on with with their ashes and to know that it could be bad and it , and luckily everything was okay and those were pretty much the only things that were salvageable . Where the urns , photos and pictures , everything was strong over there is , the water went into their apartments , like , and it was , it was up , but they were there , they were , they were okay , and so I just think about , think about that and all of that is what this song brings up , just all of that stuff . You know , I just think about that and I think it's just flash through when you've had this kind of really close loss yeah , it's like a wave , like a wave of memories that just like overtake you , yeah yeah with a song , one song , that's the only song , those like those two songs we can't .

Andrea 1:36:57

Even we can't watch the movie frozen with my wife and I . We , we can't watch it , but but that song I've . I could do a little bit more of the the frozen piece and and I've had this conversation with with my wife , I you would . You would think that a young kid passing away so , so young would probably devastate me the most , but it's my brother , because he was , I wasn't as close to my sister as I was my brother . We were only three years apart , I run . Ironically , by the time we got to high school , david , my brother was still a freshman , like he was supposed to be , like a junior or senior and he was actually a freshman , so finally , we don't .

Andrea 1:37:44

We don't think schools gonna work out . So he left you . By the time I caught up to him he's like , yeah , I don't want to do this anymore . So he actually ended up going to to job core and then getting his GED . But he was , he was really my closest friend , my closest person . So then when he went to prison , I was still in and leave out that was just . Yeah , I was still in high school I think it was like our senior year and he ended up going to prison and I was so angry with him because he left me . He left me . He was really the only person I would talk to all the time because my mom was was working to jobs . She really wasn't . She never really came to any of my band things or anything . So , like my brother was like that guy , he was my dude . I wanted to be just like him . I wore his clothes like back when you know the TLC baggy . Look , that was . That was me .

Carolina 1:38:38

That was me so .

Andrea 1:38:41

But I am really proud , though , because it makes me think about the last words I said to my brother . It was on his birthday , he was in the hospital and we were talking and last thing I said to him was all of you . And he told me . He left me and I said now get you behind out of there so that we can go chill . And he , that night he coded in . My mom called my wife because she knew how close I was with him . She called my wife and said listen , here's the deal . This is what's happening . He's on a respirator or is on a ventilator . You guys need to get her now , but you need to tell her . And so it's two o'clock in the morning , my mom's calling . Why were we up at two ? I have no idea , but that my wife and my wife told me , and we , we left , we left and drove they were living in punkos at the time and drove up , drove up there , and I watched my brother die right in front of me , and it was terrible .

Carolina 1:39:49

It's terrible it's amazing how so many memories , so many parts of our life can be very blurry and some are just the moment by moment is just seared forever . And then when music like brings all that back up thanks , thanks , by the way , thanks thanks thank you .

Carolina 1:40:45

I'm going to pivot us out of here because just just like music brings us to very dark moments , it can also intimately connect us with amazing times in our lives with you know all kinds of other

The Power of Focus: Trick Daddy and Tackle Football

Carolina 1:41:00

like just uplifting and badass or just awesome memory . So we're going to finish your six songs here , andrea , with asking you about a song that is intimately connected with an other activity location , like something that just instantly transports you to that place . What is it ?

Andrea 1:41:20

in contrast to the last song we just talked about , it's definitely let's go by , trick daddy , shout out to the south Florida . South Florida ice is anything we're making .

Carolina 1:41:33

It yes yeah , man , today trick daddy , let's go .

Andrea 1:41:38

I played . I played tackle football for about eight or nine years and that was that was my thing . I have no idea why I didn't play high school football . I wish I would have played , because that's how much I loved it . I mean , I was locked in rosa . You talk about how like I was so locked in playing my horn , that's what I was on the field . And when you see badass .

Carolina 1:42:06

I know she's like I don't know why you think of me as a badass . And then the next minute she's like I play tackle , I play tackle football .

Andrea 1:42:19

People have definitely called me that my nicknames a train . I didn't get that nickname from football , actually got it from basketball , from playing basketball . I know you're not supposed to be a train on a basketball court , but I played basketball at Daytona and the baseball coach there set out to coach Tuma . He , he credit , I credit him for this nickname . He called me a train is like you're like an a train out there . You're like a freight train . They better get out of your way when you're out there on the court . Yeah , so it just was definitely fitting . I was supposed to play football with that nickname but I played a line and D line and a few times I played full back and just pushing people into the , into the end zone and yeah that . But every time I would get to the field I kind of had this weird ritual . I think all athletes do so I played .

Andrea 1:43:23

I played older , a little older . It was a women's league and my , my son , would be at the practices and it was just so fantastic and he had this Spider-Man costume and because he would always want to come to the games with me , I like , kid , I can't you know , rj , I can't bring you to the games , all the games , but I'll make sure I have something to take . So he gave me a Spider-Man mask . He's like , just take this mom . I was like , alright , so I would wear the mask . I would actually I've got a tiny head dude , so of course I could work .

Carolina 1:43:59

I would wear the mask have an a visual here , if you want a sideline , like like putting this thing on .

Andrea 1:44:05

No no , no , I wouldn't do it on the sideline , I would walk in . So so we would get there . You have to be there , you know , few hours before the game . So I would get out of the car and grab my bag , my , my , my shoulder pads and I would walk in from the parking lot all the way to wherever we were . If we drove to where we were , I would . I didn't care if it was an away game or home game . I would always have this Spider-Man mask on , and I wore the Spider-Man mask for about three years .

Andrea 1:44:33

Spider-man mask . Now . Imagine this almost six foot burly black woman with , I think , back . I'm like God dang , I was weird Spider-Man mask on and it's tight on my face . All you could see is my eyes . And then I'm walking with a bag and shoulder pads and a helmet and I'm walking to the locker room like this . People are there and but I'm tunnel vision , I don't even see them because I'm just like I headphones on , I'm just focused and the song that's playing is let's go by trick daddy on the way to the locker room let's take a listen .

Carolina 1:45:17

And now it . Now you have the visual that goes with what we're about to listen to . Just if that's not , intimidating as fuck as your opposing team . I don't know what is . Hit it , david I .

Andrea 1:45:54

I .

David 1:46:13

I'm so glad you had this song on there because , yeah , this has been this through line in these first four episodes . You know , all four of us grew up in south Florida and we've all had these south Florida connections , connections to the south Florida rap , hip hop , just booty music , all just power 96 party hour 96 DJ , las and everything yeah yeah , man , that that song would start the multiple songs .

Andrea 1:46:47

So that song would be my song to walk to the locker room . Because again , it's me . I'm just transforming from Peter Parker spider , right , you remember ? You remember the spider man where when it was Toby , it was a Toby McGuire one , where he was the black spider man and he like had his hair all sleek back and walking . But that was that . That just really started a thing . And then my teammates knew don't talk to me . Right , they knew do not talk to me until we're on the field and we're ready to I'm in the huddle . So I was the Ray Lewis , essentially of my team . I don't know if you probably could could guess that , but I was the Ray Lewis in the middle of the circle , hyping everyone up , telling everyone let's fucking go kick some ass , all all of that . That that's me .

Andrea 1:47:42

We actually had a documentary done about our team and it's called . It's called green iron girls . You can buy it now online for 1599 , but link will be in the show notes , but in in that video , I mean in that documentary , I'll sometimes look at it and say , yeah , yeah , it truly , truly captured the essence of what I was like on on that field and it was just an absolutely incredible feeling . I wish . I wish I was still playing .

Andrea 1:48:15

To be honest , I think football did so much for me mentally , having having gone through various bouts of depression and not naming it .

Andrea 1:48:30

Football was that thing for me where I could just release it all . I could beat up on people and not get in trouble because I had a terrible , terrible temper , terrible temper , and it allowed me to really hone that , hone in on that and and really be focused for for that entire day pretty much , and then walk off the field and , and you know , be great friends with , with the women who are doing that . I mean lawyers , doctors , teachers , moms , just these incredible , incredible women out here doing this . And that's why I love working with the league that I'm working with and it's just , you know , with the WNFC . It's just how can we take and elevate these women who are doing extraordinary things and really loving , loving the hell out of this sport ? So I didn't just stay with the spider-man mask , though I had . I had others throughout the years , but yeah , I probably say my favorite was the the what ? What is the name of that movie ? Silence of lambs .

Carolina 1:49:44

Oh my God , the handle .

Andrea 1:49:47

I had that one in here .

David 1:49:50

I just had this image of , because there's the time where he's like just wearing the mask and you're walking in , but there's also a time where he's like wearing the mask and he's like strapped in the thing , and so I had this image of you being wheeled in like you're in a straight jacket and they're like release you right before the game . It's our secret weapon . Oh , there was no secret .

Carolina 1:50:11

You're on the opposing team and you see Andrew and that master . Like what the hell am I walking into ?

Andrea 1:50:16

Oh , they would .

Carolina 1:50:17

Am I leaving alive ? Am I not ?

Andrea 1:50:20

They would , they're , they're fans , right Like it when . Because when you get , when you get to the away games and you're going , there's some fans that are sometimes they're earlier people setting up . They would . Some people would see me and they're like they wouldn't know what to do . You know how , you know you would think they would want to laugh , but because I'm , I was so big , they're like oh , it was just kind of move , yeah , and I would not . I would not smile . I was not buddy buddy with the other team . That was not how I played . I wasn't a trash talker , but I also . I have gotten , I have kind of kicked out of a game before for fighting .

Andrea 1:51:10

It was bad Not my , it was not one of my shining moments but I completely I thought they were taking my , trying to take my legs out and I completely kind of blacked out . May or may not have thrown a few punches . You could take the girl out of South Florida , but you can't take the South Florida out of the girl .

Carolina 1:51:34

Oh sorry , go ahead , reza I was just going to ask .

Raza 1:51:36

So so I am the if you , if you think about it , if you take a step back . I look at , and I can say this , as a band nerd . You know you think of either athletes or you think of band oriented folks , and I think you have sort of this distinction of being both . And one other like common thing that I'm seeing is is is just like tunnel vision focus . I remember that in band and the way that you've described , you know this , the gridiron girls experience focus , right , that point of just being like imposing and , and you know , getting shit done . I wonder if you can maybe talk about that a little bit . Just where does this focus come from ? Because you were able to focus , you know , back in high school . This focus theme is coming up now and maybe where do you see that going in the future . Yeah , what's your next focus ?

Andrea 1:52:36

going to be ? Gosh , great question . Thanks , reza , I I think a lot of it comes from not honestly not really knowing what I was good at in my life and not really thinking that I was good at anything . So thinking , okay , well , I have to work , I have to work really hard to be good . Then , right , I never thought I was good at school , I , I . But then I think back now and I was like , oh crap , I , I did just enough to pass . I literally did just enough to pass .

Andrea 1:53:10

And I think a teacher exposed me in a sense and said , yeah , no , you're going to be in , we're going to make you take this AP class your senior year . Like , no , I don't do that . And I think at that point , yeah , I didn't want to , but you know , he said , you know , you're going to do this . And I think at that point I started realizing , wow , I really , I really am good at things . I just have to continue to work hard . So it really just goes from the , the work hard . I think it just came natural . Music came natural for me . I didn't have to work hard at it , but I enjoyed it so much that I wanted to work hard at it , and that's kind of the theme of the different things I talked about earlier , how we want our kids to really hone in on what they're good at and actually want to , you know , really do that .

Andrea 1:54:05

And I think that sometimes I don't want , I don't like to general , I really don't like to generalize , but I think right now people are really having a hard time focusing on one , on one thing , and they're having a hard time just overall , wanting to do some things , like certain things and want to really work at it and do it well . Those people that do that are the people that are typically the happiest . And I want to be happy . I think that really is where it all comes from . I want to really enjoy the things and I want to be good . I'm really competitive . So in order for me to achieve those things , I want to be good and I want to enjoy myself with whatever that I'm doing I have to consciously choose things that have those two elements to it , and I didn't know that until , you know , recently .

Raza 1:55:03

It sounded like that teacher challenged you . Yeah , and you were like you know , I'm up for the challenge . It wasn't really up for the challenge .

Andrea 1:55:11

Oh yeah , I'm going to be , honest . I'm going to be honest . I was not . I didn't want to do it .

David 1:55:19

Did you take the class ? You took it and you it was a freaking class , David .

Andrea 1:55:22

Yeah , I did .

David 1:55:24

I did it was .

Andrea 1:55:24

AP , government and economics . I'll never forget it . I know the teacher his name is just kidding me right now , but the teacher , ironically , was actually the principal at Douglas when .

Raza 1:55:39

Ty Thompson .

Andrea 1:55:43

It is Ty Yep . He was the principal at Douglas when the shooting happened .

Carolina 1:55:51

Oh , my goodness Yep .

Andrea 1:55:53

And I saw him on the screen talking and I said that's my AP government economics teacher . But yeah , so Ty Thompson . Yep , that is his name , ty Thompson . I just remember his cool flat top . He had like this really cool flat top for a white dude . It was tiny like this whole time .

Andrea 1:56:12

But he , it was a catalyst for a lot of things . It was a catalyst for me realizing oh my God , I really am kind of smart . But he was my junior year . He was my teacher for US history or whatever we had to take , and he said I think you should take this class . And I'm like , nah , man , dude , I'm not that smart .

Carolina 1:56:30

Nah .

Andrea 1:56:30

I'm a banger , I just yeah , I don't do that . But I think that's really what started this kind of deal of . If I just really focus on something , I could be good , I could be great , and I didn't really have . I know a lot of folks in their family . They taught those kind of things and I don't really have many memories of that kind of thing . I just know that I knew my mom worked hard because she had two jobs , so that was kind of what I saw there . So I think my work ethic came from my mom , but really taking the time to put time and energy into focusing and doing something well , I think that came from David Carbone and Ty Thompson honestly , continuing to name drop that guy because , freaking Carbone man , we were delinquents , we were delinquents .

Carolina 1:57:36

I hope he hears this episode .

Andrea 1:57:38

Oh , I'm gonna say it to him , yeah , yeah yeah , there's no hoping , we are sending it to him . I want to see it . I still have . Okay , this is borderline creepy . I still have the photos like senior photos and stuff that you take . Well , the teachers take them too , but I literally have her boldest photo .

Raza 1:58:04

Whoa With the bow tie .

Andrea 1:58:14

He had on this vest . I just looked at it , like three days ago I was looking for something else . I've got like this little thing of these different photos and of all these different people . His photo was in there , I just laughed . But his little drumsticks , why give me this ? It's weird .

David 1:58:36

But you kept it .

Carolina 1:58:39

Like you've got to be some special kind of educator for a kid to keep your picture through into adulthood . Because you know there's times you purge . You're like I don't need this shit . Like you know what You're like no , mr Carbone , you're staying with me for life .

Andrea 1:58:55

That's the impact music had on me , and he brought me that . I think my grandfather introduced me to different things as well from a music perspective , and he was really proud that I was in band . He loved it Because I was the only one yeah , I'm the only one that really went down that path of music as hard as I did . Like my grandfather , he used to play background bass in one of James Brown's bands years and years and years ago . See , that's where you use the long time of going away back .

Carolina 1:59:33

He's with someone like that not with us , James Brown .

Andrea 1:59:36

We're not there yet .

Carolina 1:59:38

We're not there yet we're spring chickens . We are yeah .

Andrea 1:59:44

And I love that you kind of talked about this little thing , because usually people think for Raza , usually people think , okay , you're either the band nerd or you're the athlete , and I really don't think that was me . I didn't fit into that box because sports was so important to me . You talked about we weren't the football team , yeah , but I knew everyone on the football team . Right , those were also my people . It was interesting when I think back to my high school friends , I had this weird eclectic group of people and I look now at my friend set and I still have this eclectic group of friends that everyone's not the same and just bring it all around . This is , I think , why I'm in the work , in the line of business that I'm in , from a culture and an inclusionary perspective , because I really think I'm kind of a conduit for all of these people to connect . Yeah , because I'm a chameleon , unicorn , all those badass apparently , all those words . And I was good at football too . God , I was good , I was good .

Carolina 2:01:06

That's awesome .

Andrea 2:01:08

I love it All right .

Carolina 2:01:09

Andrea , we have hit your six songs .

Andrea 2:01:12

Unreal .

Carolina 2:01:15

And it bears asking , after going through an experience like this right of telling your life story , but through music how does it feel to listen and see your life reflected through these six songs ?

Andrea 2:01:27

Strange , right , a little strange , only because you don't really sit down and think of it in that way . You just think of these different moments that happen and you're like , oh okay , well , that evokes this feeling . I want to get away from that feeling . It is evokes this , and I think this has really allowed me to sit in it and talk about it with people and to share similarities with each of you . Right , caroline , I've never met you a day in my life , but I feel like I've known you forever Because we have that South Florida connection and some of those parallels . So for me , I felt like I was able to reconnect with two incredible people and then really get close to another human being , which I absolutely love . So , thank you all , thank you all . I'm so , so grateful , and even though I had some tears and I'll beat you all up later about that , but because you know , you know bad asses we can't show our illusions . Now I'm a big old teddy bear . Everyone knows that big old teddy bear .

Carolina 2:02:37

Yeah , thank you for sharing your life with us and those listening . I hope they love it and take as much from it as we have today Appreciate

Lightning Round: Concerts!

Carolina 2:02:46

it . We're going to switch over to our lightning round questions . Three little questions before we let you sign off . It's amazing .

Andrea 2:02:53

Where's my Spider-Man mask ? Oh my God , do you have ?

Carolina 2:02:57

it .

Andrea 2:02:57

Oh , I have . No , I don't have that one . I do have my last one that I ended my career with , which was a Hulk mask . Still have the Hulk one .

David 2:03:09

All right , andrea , smash it was so good , all right .

Carolina 2:03:18

First concert , last concert , best concert .

Andrea 2:03:20

All right . So first concert was can we say this , our Kelly and Aliyah .

Carolina 2:03:29

All right .

Andrea 2:03:30

No , but I saw them too .

Carolina 2:03:32

Where did you see them ? Because maybe we were there .

Andrea 2:03:36

It was , was it sunrise ? Musical theater .

Carolina 2:03:40

No , it was the James L . No , it was James L Night's dinner .

Andrea 2:03:45

Was heavy D there .

Carolina 2:03:47

I don't remember , but I remember it was our Kelly and I remember all the drama . Kelly at my high school that wanted to go to his hotel , after which now is like the creepy reason he's in prison and like all the things , but Wow .

Andrea 2:04:00

You are at the same concert , oh my God , yeah , that was my first concert . Unpopular opinion that man was a freaking genius with music . Man , so amazing , so annoying , so annoying . But yes , that was my first one . The last one was supposed to be Beyonce . My wife and I were supposed to go in a couple of weeks but things have come up and we can't go , so the last concert actually was Patty LaBelle .

Carolina 2:04:32

Oh , wow .

Andrea 2:04:33

She is so great so she kicked her shoes off on stage . I mean , that woman gave me such an appreciation . Just watching her , like I want to be that happy Right , that makes made me I want to perform . Like I told you , I love singing karaoke and being up there and my go to karaoke song , believe it or not , is wanted that are alive . No lie , I love just , oh yeah , oh yeah , I rocked the hell out of that song . And watching Patty LaBelle up there and seeing and I'm like I can do this , I can do it , but I'm so afraid , I'm so afraid , but I absolutely love , love , love , love singing in front of people .

Andrea 2:05:21

And then the best one , john Legend and Robin Thicke Definitely the best one . Just , and it was in a nice into . We were at the hard rock . Robin Thicke wasn't as popular at the time but he was sitting up there at that . I just remember I was so close , I could see is there is pit stains in his suit jacket . It's really close . I was close , it was nice . He was so good , so good at that piano . And then I'm thinking , yo , this dude's amazing . And then John Legend comes out and I'm like yo , this man's incredible .

Carolina 2:06:05

Love it With a voice as smooth as butter , like he is cut right through it .

Andrea 2:06:12

Cut right through , yeah , and like John Legend and Bruno Mars for me are the second coming of Prince just from a , because they're musicians and I tend to really love musicians . When people talk about all these , my favorite , I tend to go right to the musician piece and , man that that concert was absolutely incredible . I love going to concerts at the hard rock here in Orlando . It's not , I keep saying , hard rock , it's not hard rock , house of Blues . I'm gonna say House of Blues , house of Blues , yeah , yeah , house of Blues . Nothing is hard rock .

David 2:06:55

But is it ? Is that the one that's in like downtown Disney ? Is it still yeah ?

Andrea 2:06:59

And I think it's still there , and also told Jill Scott there she used for incredible but but yeah , those would probably be my ones . I mean , and this is I mean I've seen Alicia Keys FC Janet Jackson but best was that . That one was the best and I think again it goes back to from that I'll never not be a musician . I'll never not be a musician and so I think that's why I air on the best being those musicians . Singers I love , I love singers , but I mean Alicia Keys is a musician as well , but I got two for the press of one and John Legend and Robin Thicke .

Raza 2:07:39

I didn't know he played piano . Did you mention Robin Thicke ? Yeah , yeah .

Andrea 2:07:44

I didn't know either .

Raza 2:07:47

I didn't know John Legend does yeah .

Andrea 2:07:53

But yeah , he was on the piano , he was on the keys , he was on the keys . I blew me away , blew me away .

Raza 2:07:59

So my mind was blown when I saw Bruno Mars playing drums really , really well at the Super Bowl the the halftime show that it did , and I mean I like I love his music and everything and I love it . It almost sounds like the police , yes , and kind of like the Copeland kind of influence to and smooth , yeah , and in the way that Sting was .

Carolina 2:08:28

But anyway yeah .

Raza 2:08:29

And then we needed to do the . We needed the drum solo over Super Bowl halftime show . You're like what I'm like yo ? This guy can do anything .

Andrea 2:08:37

Yep , that's , that's Prince , that was Prince . Yeah , talk about Super Bowl , 100% . Talk about Super Bowl in Miami in the rain , singing purple rain .

Raza 2:08:48

Nice yeah , yeah .

Andrea 2:08:54

Hands down best Super Bowl performance . Even though you didn't ask that question , that's a good question , that's a good question , that's a good one , that's a good performance .

Raza 2:09:03

I mean Whitney's Super Bowl performance Come on now . Stop , stop . My work here is done .

David 2:09:12

I was going to say , yeah , the National Anthem one .

Carolina 2:09:15

I don't know what year was that ? No , 1980 .

Andrea 2:09:19

I think it was a Okay .

Raza 2:09:21

No , I think it might be it was in Tampa for sure .

Andrea 2:09:26

Oh man , I can't remember what year that was . I want to say it may have been either 90 or 91 . Actually , I remember what she looked like . I remember , I know the story behind it . One take . That was one take , because you know usually they lip sync that , but it was one take . Yeah , she didn't even listen to it all the way through . When she got the recording from Ricky Winner , who was her band , her band guy Sorry , look , whitney , too many facts she had she , she , she , he , he tells this story and he's like you know she got it . She didn't listen to it right away . I was getting nervous . It was time for us to record it . I was getting nervous , I didn't know what was going on . He said she , he , he played it and she hummed and he said she said , okay , I got it . And he said I was so nervous and that was the effin take . That was the take , yeah , yeah . So it was it was 1991 .

Andrea 2:10:28

Yeah , I think so . And for me .

Carolina 2:10:30

I still can't listen to a live rendition of the national anthem and not like she is the standard to which I hold every rendition of the national anthem and even when people like try , like I don't know , like collaborate on it or link it up and notes whatever , I'm like don't , don't , don't get weird with it Like Whitney did it , that's it . Yep , it's been done and it was at such a time and Dave thank you , thank you for your service .

Andrea 2:11:02

Like it was at such a time when the world was worried about you know everything , and everyone came together and I think I use , I think , I think , I think , I think , I think , I think I think I use that when folks talk about the issues with the anthem and all that , I go back to that and I played that and I get excited about that and I'd say stop , stop the arguing , just listen to this . You cannot not be moved by hearing that . It makes me I am an American and I'm proud to be an American For Lisa , no , I'm free , no , I'm proud and I hear that . So that's what I hear whenever the anthem is played anywhere . I hear that . And then I hear nights , because in the song it says you know something about night and at UCF football games and and at night .

Carolina 2:12:04

Yeah , yeah .

Andrea 2:12:07

The whole studio and then also at the Orlando city soccer games here in Orlando . So we're a little weird with it . You see F nights . But that I go back to that . That rendition is hands down .

David 2:12:23

So ever , ever ever , ever .

Andrea 2:12:26

Y'all are great .

Carolina 2:12:30

We have come to the end of our time , and so I know everything .

David 2:12:40

End of the road here .

Carolina 2:12:42

So , in the last

Get in Contact with Andrea!

Carolina 2:12:45

few minutes here we have left , we want to give you the floor to tell people , those who are listening , what's going on in your life , something that may be interesting for those who are interested and want to get to know you a little better how they can reach out and contact you .

Andrea 2:12:57

Yeah , yeah , please reach out , email me , call me , email me at on Andrea dot , sneak at us , ta dot com at work for the USDA not to be confused with the USDA . No meat , I don't sell meat or anything . That's right , completely different . Honestly , right now in my life it's it's all us open , all us open , literally going to hop off here and do some , do some work . We , we are we , we have the pleasure Our department has the pleasure of doing various activations around tennis and for because we say we want to make tennis look like America , it's a little bit of a joke for us , but we do .

Andrea 2:13:44

We want access . You know everything's about access , everything . I love that there's four different people from four different backgrounds , that that group , just just really the symbiosis between us as we grew up in the same area . So we know some of the same things but at the end of the day , we all grew up differently but we all have things in common and that's the common thread and I think for me that's what that's what the work is about . That's what inclusive inclusivity is about , that's what culture is about finding those similarities and being able to really do really draw from that and and have a connection and connect . So that's what this is about for me . I'm so grateful and so appreciative and I really am serious . If folks want to get in touch with me , just please feel free to shoot . Shoot me an email and let's , let's connect . I'm all about it , yeah .

David 2:14:48

Yeah . Thanks for that and and thanks for being on . This has been just better than I could have expected . It just gives me so much excitement going forward with this podcast because I feel like this was a great first guest episode and so for all eternity , you will go down as the first . Whether this show goes seven episodes or seven years , you will be the first guest .

Andrea 2:15:19

Ricky Bobby , baby , you ain't first .

David 2:15:21

That's right , that's right , you're first , you're last . Yeah , shakin' baby . Oh , sorry , sorry , and a little flashback , yeah , and I just I think too like for me , that's my podcast , so I'm going to talk about me for a second yeah .

David 2:15:41

But for me , in getting this idea for the podcast and how , like you know this , this endeavor isn't just a well , let's try this and this will be cool . Everyone's doing podcasts . Let's do a podcast . It was a lot of , you know , recovery for me and and this is a healing journey and this is , you know , part of that , and so to have you on and kind of , you know , bringing me back to a time before I had all of these challenges and struggles and stuff has just been really really wonderful . So I'm just so thankful for connecting with you again and and coming back . It's , yeah , more tears .

Carolina 2:16:25

Hold it together , we just hold it together .

David 2:16:27

Hold on . Let me queue up Yolanda Adams again . No , wow , thank you .

Andrea 2:16:35

I'm glad to be a part of this journey with you .

David 2:16:39

Yeah , yeah . So everyone out there you know we know the drill like and subscribe . We're going to have more episodes coming . You know , yep , yep , we are all somewhere . We're still learning how to do that in YouTube , but they'll be there .

Carolina 2:16:56

The leather be a box or we're going to look really weird , just point .

Andrea 2:16:59

That's right . That's right . We're just put random . We're just put random . We're just put random .

Raza 2:17:05

Yeah .

David 2:17:06

So , yeah , stick around , go back to listen to earlier episodes . You know , and and we , we hope you enjoy being on this journey with us and so that my friends , is a life in six songs . Thank you so much , andrea . Thank you , bye .