Not-So Kind Regards
We're taking a short break! Exciting things coming March 2025. Stay tuned.
Not-So Kind Regards
2025 Playbook: Master Your Mindset & Marketing Funnel
As 2024 wraps up, join us as we share unfiltered advice on setting meaningful goals, shifting your mindset, and aligning actions with your values for an unstoppable 2025. Reflecting on personal milestones and breaking down the psychology of success, this episode is packed with actionable steps to help you grow.
Episode Highlights:
- Why goal setting feels scary—and how to overcome it
- Identifying and breaking free from inherited goals
- The mindset behind sustainable success
- How to reframe limiting beliefs into empowering actions
- Practical tips for setting goals that align with your values
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If you are in the beginning of your journey and you start hitting your very first revenue goal, your very first like client sign up, your very first sellout goal or whatever it might be, I want you to realize that this feeling that you have now of achievement, this is the best it's ever going to feel. Welcome to the Not so Kind Regards podcast. I'm Maddie Birdcage and I'm Caroline Moss.
Speaker 2:We are done with the digital fluff and pleasantries, and we're here to talk straight about brand building, digital marketing and personal growth.
Speaker 1:At Birdcage School, we have a little known secret, which is our Coaching Unlimited program. This is a one-on-one coaching program that completely breaks the mold of what traditional marketing and business coaching looks like. As a Coaching Unlimited student, you can book coaching calls when you want them, as often as you want them, for up to 20 hours over a six-month period, where you'll be connected with your choice of senior birdcage coach who will support you as you scale your brand, who will support you just like we've supported hundreds of our other coaching clients to achieve all of their goals within just six months of working with us. If you want to know more about how we are going unlimited with coaching, make sure you visit the website or check out the show notes.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to another episode of Not so Kind Regards. Welcome, Maddie.
Speaker 1:Hello Caroline. I'm so excited for this episode Me too.
Speaker 2:It's a good one. You guys are joining us for the last episode of the year of 2024.
Speaker 1:I can't believe that. I know this episode is going to be all about goals and we're going to recap on some of our personal goals that we've achieved as well, but I feel like I was literally just writing my vision board two weeks ago were you well, I wasn't. I just feel like I was oh, from last year.
Speaker 2:I thought you meant for the new year. No, I haven't started that yet. I know I um the Pilates studio I work for she's started asking us about like one year, six month, one year, five year goals and stuff, and I was just like I don't know, I really need like a lot of space to set goals. It's so weird. Like I'm not a I've never been a big goal setter, even though I feel like I'm someone who like likes to achieve things a lot. It's hard for me to set tangible goals. Do you feel like you're the opposite?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. I used to find it really easy. I used to know exactly what I wanted, because I wanted a lot of things, but I found, since I've evolved personally, it's less about things and it's more about feelings, or it's more about experiences, and it's like, or how, or way of life, or impact, stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's. I think that's how I am. I'm like I want to be happy, I want to be healthy, I want to have a lot of time to spend with my family and to do the things that I want to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean that's why I did develop the vision board process that we teach inside the mindset in the full library. It's because I wanted a system for it. I couldn't just go on Pinterest and be like that's a cool photo and like what does that actually mean? What does that represent for me? What is the thing that I'm working towards? I needed to have be able to articulate that stuff, and that's why we have that system there be able to articulate that stuff and that's why we have that system there. Because the year that I first did that, which was the year before last, I achieved every single one of those goals.
Speaker 2:And looking back on the vision board I made for this year which I never actually quite finished, but I'm pretty sure I achieved every single one of these goals as well but yeah, we're going to go through that Excited to go through the list, because I was listening earlier this week I was listening to this a similar episode that you recorded last year all on your own, when your podcast was brand new as the first season. You were you're like the energy you showed up. It was still amazing energy, but you could like I feel like your energy is up level a lot this year. And even talking about the school, you're referencing the school a lot, but it had a completely different layout than it does now too. So it's like so much when we actually think about it.
Speaker 2:So much has actually changed. Yeah for sure, cool, let's get into it, let's start with. So with this episode, we really want to help you guys set some tangible goals, not be scared of goal setting, set, understand your mindset for the new year so you can achieve those goals, like actually achieve the goals. This is because it's something we teach in the school and our frameworks, but it's also one of the best performing episodes from last year for this podcast too. So this is something people really want from us and we can talk a bit more about goal setting in the new year too, because there's a lot to say about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like people love it. I feel like the reason why people love out the way that we do the goal setting is because it's kind of like the way that we do marketing there's a lot of structure, there's a lot of psychology and there's a there's a lot of tangible steps forward, instead of just this big, big, gooey goal that you're like how do I, how do I deal with this?
Speaker 2:so I guess what angle do we want to come at this for? Do we think people who are listening to this podcast right now are you guys? Are you guys scared to set goals? Like we've realized? That's something that people are scared of, like even in my when we discovered that, and some of my coaching calls like that's something that people are scared of, like even in my when we discovered that, and some of my coaching calls like that's the first question. I asked people for my first call and like people get really taken aback by that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, there's a few things that I'd love to really dive deep on with this episode about being afraid to set goals, but then also setting goals that actually aren't for you and you actually shouldn't be achieving. And then, when you are going to achieve those goals, I want you to realize that it's not just the actions that you need to take, but there's a lot of mindset work that needs to happen. So, talking about you know, even people who are good at taking action, what is it about themselves? What is it that they're doing that's keeping them stuck? Because I'm going to be really vulnerable and really transparent and honest right now.
Speaker 1:Looking back, so I know money people report on their business in the financial year. I am not a money person. I like to spend money, but I like to look at achieving my goals in a 12-month period from January to December. Over the last three years, regardless of what my business has done in terms of sales, all of that kind of stuff, I've actually landed at exactly the same personal income every single year. So my personal income has not changed and it's like why?
Speaker 2:Oh, like, yeah, like it's not growing. I was like is that a good thing? Because you did have a really tough business year.
Speaker 1:So last year and this year, my personal income has been exactly the same, and it's an income that allows me to do great things and do things that I want to do, but it's like for where the business is from the beginning of like, from last year to this year, you'd think that there would have been a lot more profit in the business and therefore been able to give yourself a raise, yeah, and it and it's like why isn't that changing?
Speaker 1:And the answer is not because of the things that I'm doing, but it's because of whatever limiting beliefs are still rolling around in this head of mine, and that's why you also will not be achieving your goals, or you're staying stuck because of your limiting beliefs.
Speaker 2:This is where I wanted this episode to go, because this is the conversations that I've been having with the students in our school and my coaching clients lately, because a lot of them are coming to me and they're like I've made a lot of money and then things are going downhill and you know, it's very easy to go okay, economic climate does have a part to play in that, for sure. We're never going to completely deny that. But we don't want that to be just the limiting belief and go like okay, you were stuck here for the next two to five years. Now too, so the things I'm breaking down with them, I go. What are those? What are you telling yourself right now, when you're going into a launch, when you're going into sales, when what's happening in your mind?
Speaker 2:The stories that you're telling yourself, are you saying that was just a fluke when you made a lot of money, and now you can't make that money? And then the second thing we're diving into is what are the actual things that you were doing when you made a lot of money that you're not doing now, you know? And they were like oh well, I was going swimming more, I was going like partying more, I was doing more things that, like, lit me up and made me feel fun and things felt easy and smooth, and I'm not doing any of that now, and so those are the two things we're unpacking is is there stories that you're telling yourself? That's what the limiting beliefs are. I don't think anyone's ever really explained that to me. That it's stories, and I've got a lot of them. I've got a lot of stories to unpack.
Speaker 2:We all do. It's probably lifelong work, yeah, but then it's also how our actions are lining up with those stories. Like you said, if you're an action taker, you're like but I'm ticking through all the tasks, but are you doing it from a place of like you don't deserve worth, you don't deserve success, you don't? Or like a place of abundance and like, oh, taking these tasks off is easy and I'm already safe now and so grateful for the things I have, and I know, by doing them, that it's going to attract all this other stuff to my life.
Speaker 1:Exactly, exactly, okay. So why don't we start at at the end? I'd really love to share what I have achieved and I'd love to know what you have ticked off your vision board for the year, but why don't we start first? If you're afraid to set goals, what is actually going on there? If you're afraid to set goals, it's probably because you've set them in the past. You didn't achieve them and you felt like a failure, and so, to save yourself from feeling like a failure, you're just not going to set the goals anymore. That is not going to. That's going to work if you want to feel safe.
Speaker 1:So you need to make the decision. Do you want to feel safe and comfy and dig your head in the sand and not deal with the issue, or do you actually want to grow and achieve goals? That is the first decision you need to make. Then you need to decide. I'm going to set this goal and you're going to treat it like a game.
Speaker 1:You're going to be grateful for what you already have, because, even if you're in a terrible place right now, I guarantee you there is so much abundance and so much to be grateful for, even if you literally are living in the worst, your worst state.
Speaker 1:There is actually still so much to be grateful for, and you need to start focusing on that, whilst also detaching yourself. It's like this is complex mindset stuff, but it's like you need to be grateful for what you've got. You need to set the goal, but then you also need to detach your self-worth from the outcome, and something that I heard in another podcast a while back was, let's just say, like cause she had been setting this big, ambitious revenue goal and she still hadn't met it, and it's like she was getting frustrated. But it's like just because you haven't hit that goal in the time that you want it doesn't mean it's not happening. So take the pressure off, because as soon as you take the pressure off and you become more playful and you become happier with where you currently are, that's when things all start to work out for you.
Speaker 2:And, like we say, the universe doesn't say no. It either says not right now or not. This way, yes, exactly. I don't think I've ever said that, but I like that. That's something I say to myself, so I'm not sure who said it.
Speaker 1:It's a good one, though that's actually a really good point. I do like that because I look at it like if something doesn't happen the way that I want it to, it's like there's actually something better Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's like it's not this way, I've got something even better around the corner for you, yeah, so, like, this idea of detachment is a really hard one, and it's something I still grapple with, where it's like typical manifestation rules tell you to just think really hard about what it is that you want so that you achieve it. That's actually just by doing that you're actually highlighting the gap between where you are and what you want. What you need to focus on is what you already have and that this thing that you're working to in the future that's just going to make your life even better, but it's like you already have everything that you need for a happy life.
Speaker 2:It reminds me of. I got really into listening to podcasts about performance psychology, specifically for, like, musicians or athletes and things like that, and what they had them do is focus on what they're actually doing. So if you're performing, it's not about the outcome, it's not if it was your best performance. If you're, it's not about if you won the game. It's about what we talk about all the time. It's about the journey, it's about doing the thing. And when you're visualizing, you're not visualizing winning and all the accolades, because that's ego. You're visualizing oh, if I make a mistake, I know I can do this. If I do, I'm pretending I can play the guitar. Right now I've got no clue, but if I press the wrong chord or do the wrong thing, then I have a backup plan and that's what you're doing. That's a visualization process. So I feel like that's what you're saying. It's not attaching to the outcome, but it's visualizing all the little steps to get there and what you need to do. If things go wrong, I do this. If things go right, I do this.
Speaker 1:Speaking about the journey, because I used to always roll my eyes when people were like it's about the journey. Because I used to always roll my eyes when people were like it's about the journey, not the destination, I was like, fuck that, I want a million dollars, like that's. That's how I always used to used to think. But it's like I have to actually say one thing about this, and this is as someone who is, who is really cynical about the whole journey thing, but I want you to, and I get goosebumps thinking about it. I even get a bit teary thinking about this. If you are in the beginning of your journey and you start hitting your very first goal, your very first revenue goal, your very first like client sign up, your very first sellout goal or whatever it might be, launching a new product, I want you to realize that this feeling that you have now of achievement, this is the best it's ever going to feel.
Speaker 1:You will never feel better than where you do when you first start hitting goals, because I went through a slightly depressive episode, I'd say, a few months ago, where I was like nothing feels exciting anymore for me and it's because, like the first time, you get to eat in a fancy restaurant, for example, you will feel so amazing that you got yourself to that point.
Speaker 1:But then the next time, the time after that, the time after it just becomes like the equivalent of going to a local Italian restaurant. Like the spark and the excitement of that falls away. And it's like when you reach a particular level of your life, I don't know. I feel like for me, like I have everything that I want right now, like I have like, yes, my house isn't perfect, yes, my car I could probably upgrade to a new car if I wanted it. But like all of the like, I kind of have all of the things and I've had a lot of the experiences that I want, but the next level of that is like I don't actually want that level of luxury. Or I actually don't want a brand new car because that's like stressful with children.
Speaker 2:Is this such a different version of you?
Speaker 1:I know I've, I've really have like, but it's it's kind of makes me feel sad because I remember the first time I ever hit a 40 K revenue month in this business years ago. I've since done three times that amount in this business but I was never, as I've never, been as excited as I was when I hit that first 40 K.
Speaker 2:Cause it became the new baseline rather than the goalpost.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it did become the baseline. But it's not just about the baseline. It's also about this idea of like the very first time that you set a goal and you achieve that goal, especially as someone who's like a serial self-sabotage, or like myself, like I'm at this point now where I'm like I can have anything I want, because I know that I can make that happen. If I really want it, I can make it happen. So now I'm like I don't know and I also just I don't know how to articulate this but it's almost like this level of like like a big thing for me was I really wanted to have really special, like first-class experiences on holidays with my family and yes, we're not flying first-class, we're not flying private or any of that kind of stuff but it's like we got to take helicopters while we were overseas. We got to eat at some of the world's best restaurants. Like I could literally walk into any designer store I wanted and not buy anything in there, but I could buy like probably can't actually buy a lot that's in there, but anything that, like, I used to aspire to, like a $5,000 handbag like that I could technically go and buy that, but I'm like. But why? Like it's just more. It's just more of of moreness.
Speaker 1:I think you're redefining your values, I think it's that. But it's also like I don't know if this happens to everybody. I feel like it does because you know, you see these really wealthy people right and they're like money's not everything. Money doesn't make you happy. And then when you're there on the other end and your business is bleeding 50K a month and you can't pay yourself a wage and everything you're like what do you mean? It doesn't make you happy, like I'm miserable right now, but I think it's like. I'm sure there's a statistic where it's like once you reach a certain income level or whatever, your happiness actually doesn't improve beyond that point there is.
Speaker 2:I used to listen to this podcast called the Happiness Lab and it was a lot lower than people think too. Something like 70 or 80K a year, yeah. And then you don't really get happier beyond that it's because and that might change because of of inflation, but really it's like meet basic needs, have a little bit left over to have good experiences, yeah. So if you're in a place of huge debt, obviously you're not going to feel safe. Money has to buy you safety, because that's the society we live in. Has to buy your basic needs, has to buy the roof over your head, the food on your plate, but then after that it's like oh, these are just luxuries, that's what luxury is they're extras.
Speaker 2:It's not something that I need and you're not putting you specifically, maddie, you're not putting your worth in those luxuries anymore, yeah, because you're like, oh, I got it, I can get it.
Speaker 1:I can get it if I want to. But I, like Jack, was like, do you want to get a new car? And I was like, no, like I'd just be buying a new version of what I already have.
Speaker 2:I feel like you're becoming more like me, maddie. I am, I'm becoming like this, minimalist my husband's like really wants us to buy the new Prado because he's a big car guy and he's's like we could sell your car and my cruiser. And he never wants to sell his cruiser because he's going to hold onto that forever. It's like 1991 and they go forever. He's never going to sell it.
Speaker 2:But he's like we could sell both of these and then we just have to pay this much and we could get a Prado. And so I go to him. I go, I don't want a Prado, but if we have that money, can't we put that into the house? Could we build a pool? And that's where both like had a light bulb moment of like holy shit, let's build a pool. Yay, because that's like lifestyle investment stuff that I want to have. Make those memories with my son, because I grew up with a pool and I remember, like everyone's, like you don't use a pool, you don't get that much use out of it. I was like I think we're gonna get, I'm like I'm gonna entertain, I'm gonna like be in there every single weekend with my child, like you use a pool in where we live in the tropics use a pool because the ocean is a dangerous place with crocodiles.
Speaker 2:That's true too we didn't have that in florida, but we still used our pool all the time because it's freaking hot out, yeah, and it's fun, and the neighbors would come over and use our pool. You get home and, like the neighbor's kids were in our pool because everyone wanted a pool but it's.
Speaker 1:It's not about like using the pool. It's like being by the pool and having the pool to look at, like it creates this water, creates this beautiful tranquility. But I guess this is what leans into this next thing that I really wanted to talk about, which was setting goals that actually aren't meant for you, and how do you know if a goal is meant for you versus just something that you've inherited? So, for me, a lot of my goals back in the day were material goals, and a lot of them, yes, I really did want like I'm a car girly and so I still want my vintage Porsche Like, I do still want that, but, like, I wanted this type of handbag, I wanted this. I wanted like all this stuff, wanted this type of handbag, I wanted this. I wanted like all this stuff.
Speaker 1:Then I started saying things like I wanted to fly private. I want a private airplane, like and I had the opportunity to book one when we were in Europe Like it would have drained pretty much all of the um the travel budget, but I was looking into doing it and at the last minute I canned it because I'm like you know what? Why do I actually want this goal? Like, what is the point of this goal and I realized it was an ego driven goal.
Speaker 2:And you like had a look at your life strategy, at your vision board, and you're like, does this match any of my other values?
Speaker 1:and you're probably like not really well it could have, because one of my values is ease and convenience. Right, that's a big thing for me, and the whole reason of flying private, this whole. So, and if anything, I'm creating something quite inconvenient for myself because I'm going to drain a lot of the budget, which means we'll have to restrict in things like oh, we can't get an uber, we have to take the train, or no, we can't just go and buy snacks for the kids when we're out at a museum where it's like very expensive, like we have to be, like no, we have to bring our food with us, or like we would have had to really budget a lot more for the rest of the trip.
Speaker 2:It would have made the rest of the trip not easy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not easeful, not easy and convenient. Not easeful, not easy and convenient, very uneaseful and very inconvenient. And so instead I just jagged this like crazy situation where we ended up getting a free helicopter to the car yacht show, which, like, that's just as good as a private jet right and you got to drive your vintage Porsche around.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, so what it is it's like? Okay, the first step of when you do our vision boarding process. It's what I call mind clearing because I hate the word brain dump, so I've changed it to mind clearing where you list everything out that you think you want, right? You just get it all out there on paper and then the next step is to identify your core values, right? Actually, no, I think the core values comes first, but then we get you to brain dump it, mind clear everything, and then you have to go and audit that list based on your life values that you have, and so your life values will change, and they are designed to change as you grow and evolve.
Speaker 1:Like, things have definitely changed for me. For me, luxury used to be a big thing, but now it's actually. I've replaced that with art. For me, it's actually this idea of working with people that are artists, so like, yes, I may want this designer handbag, but I want it because it's like a classic piece of art. Or maybe I don't want that designer handbag, I want one made by an artisan in the hills of Tuscany. Yeah, yeah, you know. So that's what I mean by things can change, and that's really about auditing A lot of the time.
Speaker 1:The first time you do this, your goals will be inherited from your parents or your primary caregivers or your society, so like, and if you're then working towards a goal that was never actually meant for you and is actually, like, subconsciously, not what you want, you're never going to get it Because it's someone else's goal, it's not, or you'll get it, like me, where I thought I wanted this huge team and this big office and all these clients and everything, and we got it a few years ago. And then it all started to unravel because the stress, the amount of staff that we had, the amount of clients that we had, was, if I want a life of ease, that doesn't come with huge teams, huge client bases, all of that. And so I broke it without realizing it was me doing it on purpose would you say, things feel a lot easier in the business now my god, things are so easy, like I.
Speaker 1:I was actually thinking the other day are things easier because things are easier or because I have gotten better at handling situations? And I think it's actually a bit of both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's always going to be both, because you've grown into more of a leader role, and then you also have a team. Some of us have grown with you, some of us are newer, but everyone's just fit into their roles.
Speaker 1:Really, you had to go through a few not great team members to get to the ones that we have now too 100%, and it's like I think the biggest proof of that is the fact that I was traveling on and off for the last four months. I wasn't even at home, I wasn't even in the office and the business still ran. And not only did it still run, but I actually wasn't getting bombarded every 30 seconds with questions from everyone. You know. I really actually got to step away from the business and everyone just handled their shit. Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2:It feels like from my end. It feels like I have a lot fewer questions than I used to too, so it's like we're obviously getting processes down and roles are clearer and things like that too, and a lot less fewer client complaints and conflicts too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's literally like and that comes from the very start, that comes from the marketing that we're doing, that comes from making sure that the people we attract have come through the right channels. They're qualified, they know what we are and they know what we're not. And then there's no surprises when they get to us and we're like we've spent four weeks writing a strategy. Like we literally had a client years ago. They signed up to a $25,000 package a month. We spent the first month writing the strategy for them, which was a killer, and then they fired us the next month because we hadn't done anything.
Speaker 1:And it's like what do you mean by like? I literally sent them all the files, all the meeting notes, everything. And I'm like what do you mean? We've done? We've done hundreds of hours of work on your strategy, but she was just looking at have they SEO'd my website? Have they done some social media posts? Like now, we would never get someone into the business as a client like that, because I either know that that's what they're looking for and I cut it off before it goes further or, most likely, they've seen our marketing, they know how we work and that's what they expect they realize it's not just an in results type thing that you're investing in.
Speaker 2:No, yeah. So I guess, like, let's walk people through the mindset, the life strategy, the way you present it in the school. So if you are listening to this and you've got a little bit of time, you don't have your skids on from school holidays, you've got even just an hour over the break or over December to look at this, or even in January when you're back to work. Set up some time, make it a really fun, nice, good space. Hey, like this isn't. This shouldn't feel like a chore, this should feel like really exciting and creative and fun. So first it's writing down your values, then the mind clearing exercise and then it's what mapping out the actions to get there. Hey, yeah.
Speaker 1:So break it into categories. So you break it up your life into like business, home, health and wellness. I obviously share my categories, but your categories can be whatever you want. You can have purpose and business as separate or together. You can have businesses and money separate or together. It really just depends how you want to break up your life into pillars. But then you basically will take out like one or two or three or whatever the goals are, that you've written in your mind, clearing, and you'll put that into that pillar.
Speaker 1:So, for example, a big one for me was like lose, like weigh, a certain amount, because I know in my life that's when I felt my healthiest and so I would write that down. I put that under health and wellness. Then you need to write out, okay, what are the actions that somebody who has achieved that level of health, what do they do? And there's two types of actions. There's initial actions that you need to do. So it might be like you know, buy a treadmill. That's something that happens once. But then there's ongoing actions. And how frequently does that happen? They get up at five in the morning and they use that treadmill. They work with a dietician In my case I really had to work with my endocrinologist because of my autoimmune diseases.
Speaker 1:You know like it's like I take my management of my diabetes very seriously. You know now, like I, instead of just leaving it to the last minute, I literally they have like reminders on their phones order more supplies, instead of getting caught out without having insulin available. I'm like, oh no, I have no insulin. You know, it's stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Like what do those people yeah, I need insulin to live, so even like a few hours without it, it can be life-threatening. I gave Maddie a look like Maddie, don't run out of insulin, please, god.
Speaker 1:I was literally in New Zealand and had to like message my brother-in-law who is now also a type 1 diabetic, unfortunately and be like you got any spare insulin, bro, because I forgot mine. Anyway, that was after three months of travel already. I was pretty maxed out. But it's like what are the things that that person who has those things, what do they do, and how often do they do it? And that becomes an action list for you to then do. Guess what? All you've got to do are those things.
Speaker 2:So, whether it's journaling, listening to meditations or hypnosis, or booking something in with your therapist, booking in with a nutritionist, getting a coach for your business, yeah, and it's really.
Speaker 1:It's like okay, what if your goal is to get like 100,000 followers on TikTok? Right, that was one of my goals for a long time. I've since struck it off because I actually don't care about how many followers I have. I care more about impact now. But it's like that was my goal.
Speaker 1:It's like what is a person with 100,000 followers? What do they do? They show up three times a day. They have a strategy, they have people that help them with editing their videos, they have all of this stuff, and so you can really articulate and this is why you need to think about it, why you need to create this wonderful space for you to think about it. It usually takes me three mornings or maybe three afternoons every year to really get into this and have a solid plan, because there's a lot to think about, because then the third step that comes from it is understanding the thoughts that are happening. First of all, you need to articulate what are the thoughts that a person who has achieved that goal, what do they believe about themselves, about the world, about the goal? What is it that they believe? So, for example, with my goal of reaching a particular weight, I needed to believe things like losing weight is easy. It's safe for me to lose weight. Looking after my like having a healthy diet is not punishing myself. It is nurturing myself. I like that.
Speaker 1:You know, like saying no to that extra glass of wine. That's not me denying and restricting. That's me actually taking care of myself. It is a reframe and that's what it is it's like. Then you have to really be honest with yourself. What is it that you currently believe so like? For me and for a lot of millennials growing up with diet culture, eating a salad at lunchtime can be seen as I'm punishing myself, or exercising I'm punishing myself to look a certain way, when really eating vegetables and moving your body is a reward.
Speaker 2:It's like, literally, how you keep yourself alive and give yourself good quality of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's like if you are, if you're trying to lose weight or get fit or whatever, but you subconsciously believe that exercise is punishment because you've eaten too much many calories that day. That's not healthy, that's not helping anyone instead, it's a really unhealthy mindset.
Speaker 2:No, it's the same exact person, still doing the same exact activities, but two completely different mindsets and places of doing that activity because who do you think's more likely to get up at five in the morning?
Speaker 1:The person who's like, oh, I ate way too much food yesterday and that's why I have to get up early. Or the person who's like, fuck, I'm so happy that I get to move my body this morning.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful that I can move my body, that I get to wake up, that I'm waking up again, alive.
Speaker 1:I'm so grateful that I was able to spend $300 on Marketplace and get that treadmill so I can work out while my baby sleeps, and even the food thing.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy I got to eat nourishing food yesterday abundantly with people that I love, even if it was like a long lunch with a few extra drinks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm so glad I have friends that I can do that with. I'm so glad that I can choose between eating junk food or eating healthy food, because healthy food is generally more expensive. I know which is crazy, yeah, wild, but like that's. That's why, even if you're doing the action, if you don't have the thoughts happening, that's why things don't work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so powerful. I'm so excited to get some feedback about this episode, because this is the good work that you're doing, that we're doing at Birdcage, that we're all doing within the team, that our students and clients are doing. It's really powerful. It makes me like tingle.
Speaker 1:I know, me too. I feel like this is. I mean, I love marketing but really, if I'm honest, this psychological mindset, work stuff. This is what truly lights me up because it affects your marketing. Like, for example, let's just say you want to build, you know when you get into it and you understand, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars worth of sales through my social media. Okay, what actions do they take? They have a strategy. They post consistently. They have help with editing. If they can't do it all themselves, what do they believe about that? My audience is on social media. I can make a difference to people through social media.
Speaker 2:My voice and my message is important.
Speaker 1:Yes, as opposed to. It's too crowded there's. I'm not good enough. Why would anyone want to listen to me? All of that, which is, I guarantee you, what a lot of you are probably thinking without realizing.
Speaker 2:Or social media is a chore. I don't actually want to do this, but I know I have to do it to grow my business versus wow. I get to reach so many people with this really important message every single day at my fingertips.
Speaker 1:And this is why it doesn't matter how many courses coaches, how much you outsource any of this stuff, if you're not changing how you're thinking about things, including your marketing, you're never going to reach your goals. And you can blame your coach, you can blame the course, you can blame your agency, but the only one to blame is yourself and your subconscious mind.
Speaker 2:Common denominator baby yeah. And your subconscious mind Common denominator baby yeah. Let's go through our list. I'd love for you to share a bit about some of the goals that you set last year and what you've achieved and what you changed your mind on.
Speaker 1:So I don't think I actually ever truly finished it, but I have a few things Okay. I have a few things Okay. So I wanted a hundred thousand TikTok followers, which I have not reached, but I also think I don't. That's not going to go back on the vision board for next year, because I don't think it matters, like I don't care about that.
Speaker 2:You do care, though, about being a consistent content creator still, hey.
Speaker 1:I think the goal will have to change to be something more, like some measure of impact. So whether that's like getting like five dms a week or, like you know, getting like feedback constantly that I've changed someone's life, like that's more what I would love to know, that's more where I'm at. The other one was not so kind. Regards podcast to top charts, we did that very early on in the year so that was exciting. Relationships or family. So I said be available for my children. That was one of my goals and I have to say I have definitely achieved that. I am like my kids are at work right now and, yes, I'm here filming this podcast. But I have been so much more present for my kids and even some co-workers have said to me I've seen how you've changed as a mother this year and it's like really great to see because in the past I always found spending time with my family kind of anxiety inducing. In the past I always found spending time with my family kind of anxiety inducing, whereas now it's actually the space I go to to like ground and connect and to fill my cup. That's so beautiful.
Speaker 1:Another goal I had was to pay off my house in five years. I actually achieved that goal this year because of some restructuring of our superannuation. So, tick, holy crap. Um, I obviously had some income goals which I did not meet that. But I'm wondering.
Speaker 1:As I said, my income hasn't moved from the last two years and I'm actually wondering if that is a goal of mine or if that's just, if it's something else completely because, for example, the reason why I wanted to make more money was so that I could experience like luxury travel or like like special experiences with my kids. Right, I feel like I did get to experience that, and not just that. I feel like, for example, one of our clients owns a luxury retreat in New Zealand and, yes, I was technically there for work, but my kids and my husband were also involved in the content shoot we did, and we got to stay at this $70,000 a week retreat, like we stayed there for free, and so it's like, do I even need to earn this kind of money? Because it's like you think of how much money you would have to earn to be to be totally cool with dropping 70K a week on a on a holiday. That's just the accommodation, right. So imagine how much money you would need. Do I need that money, if I'm doing that anyway.
Speaker 2:There you go. You're getting the thing, even if it's in a different way, Exactly A different channel. Still the thing at the end.
Speaker 1:So it's like does income actually matter?
Speaker 2:Like, the more I dive into understanding investments and things like that. Like, money is everywhere when you think about it abundantly. It's not just through your business, through your work.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent and it's like again. It's like if, if you just want the money so that you can feel a certain way or so you can do certain things, if you can do that without needing that money, then great. Another one for me. So I wanted to lose 13 kilos. I actually lost 30. 30 kilos. Well, I did 30 kilos since I started my journey, so this year. So I think I already lost 10 kilos at the end of last year and then I lost another 20. No more weight losing now. No, no, no.
Speaker 1:I'm like now it's just focusing on health yeah, but it's like it's wild because it's like it's in again, it's the journey right because in again it's the journey right, because in the end, like it's, it was never about the weight, it was about the relationship with my health and not always putting it on the back burner, cause that's really like my. My eating habits actually haven't really changed and, if anything, I'm actually exercising less than I ever did. But there was so like I would always put my health as the very last thing on my priority list and because of that my autoimmune diseases were never managed properly, like my mental health wasn't in a great place, like, and that's what it is. It's like it's not actually about losing that weight, it's about who you become in that process.
Speaker 2:And understanding that, like your health, is a non-negotiable, because if you're not taking care of your health, you're not going to be here to get all your goals. Health is wealth.
Speaker 1:The other goal I wrote down was vibrate at the highest possible frequency, which is maybe a little bit woo woo, but it's like I feel, like I definitely. I guess another way of saying that is just be like a happy person but also be okay with not being happy all the time and I'm definitely good there With the business. It was like, mainly I feel like I wrote down main. Well, no, there's some other things I wrote down, like the right team. So I wanted a full-time content creator and I now have multiples of them and then sold out in-person events and we had our big launch and we sold out, which was great.
Speaker 1:I also had Birdcage travel in there, so I really wanted to be able to take members of the team like travel. I don't know why, why, why did I write that down? But it's, I didn't even remember writing it down, but I did and, like you and I and Max, we were in Melbourne, maria and I and Max were in Sydney, maria and I took our families to New Zealand. Like, yeah, there was actually too much travel.
Speaker 2:But you did it. You got to experience it and go like okay, is this what I want?
Speaker 1:Oh, I, the yacht which I know I've shared and it's still coming. It's still in the works. We've just sold our smaller boat. So that's happened and we've got that. Money is there. Now it's just the next point. But I think when you're manifesting something with your partner, there needs to be like I see, like I feel ready for it, but I know Jack is probably like a few more things need to fall into line for him before he is then ready to go. But it's that's happening. And my vintage Porsche that is not yet on the horizon and that is still something I absolutely want, but that didn't happen. That's probably the only thing that didn't happen this year, but I got to drive a vintage Porsche. So there you go pretty good year yeah, it's a fucking great year how about you?
Speaker 1:what? What are your goals?
Speaker 2:and where I don't think I set any goals last year. But I did like do like a little bit of a vision board on Pinterest and I was looking at it the other day and so I I wanted to like do up my office, which I have, and now we record the podcast from there. I told you that I wanted to do more public speaking and on the co-host of our podcast Did some really amazing cup filling work travel. I think that's important for me as a remote employee to be able to come and connect with you guys and like feel a part of things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that fills my cup as well, like having you.
Speaker 2:my daughter thinks Caroline's one of our cousins, so cute and I would say like mindset stuff, like I feel like my brain has changed so much this year just because progressing into motherhood more, becoming better at it, but also just everything that we do like rubbing off on me. I feel like I've moved from like a place of victimhood in motherhood to like empowered and like grateful and all of those things which is such a nice headspace to be in, not like, oh my gosh, everyone has it so much easier to me to like, wow, I have so much to be grateful for. Yeah, and then also like that's rubbed off with my coaching and I feel like I'm finally in a place where, like I feel like I'm a really good coach.
Speaker 2:Now to our clients, 100%, I mean I always saw that it's hard to coach people through mindset stuff because they throw left right centers at you and you're like where, where's the line between giving advice and just encouraging them, or just asking the right questions and giving advice and all of those things, and it's something you're always going to navigate. But I feel like I'm getting into a better space of like understanding everything that we teach and being able to translate to that that to them Exactly. Well, I hope everyone has an awesome Christmas break, whatever holiday you celebrate, and then an amazing New Year's Eve and New Year's, and we're so excited to get back to you in new years and kick some goals together and share more things that we're doing so you can reach your goals, so you can learn more about marketing and psychology, so you can do all the things in your business.
Speaker 1:Yes, so excited. It's gonna be a huge, huge year 2025.
Speaker 2:I can't wait yay, maybe, um, in the new year we'll have to share our new goals for the year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll start an episode what? What's on the vision board that'll hold us accountable. Yeah, no kidding. All right, have a wonderful. We're gonna have a wonderful break. For those who celebrate christmas, merry christmas. For those who celebrate something else. I hope you enjoy whatever it is that you're celebrating, even if that's just being alive, because what a wonderful world we're in.
Speaker 2:Awesome, we'll catch you later. Bye.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to this episode of the Not so Kind Regards podcast. We hope you enjoyed it. If you did, we would really appreciate if you left a review, on whatever streaming platform you are using. It helps us to grow as a brand new podcast and to help many more business owners and content creators reach their goals, just like we hope this brought you one step closer to your. Remember, connect with us on TikTok, at Maddie Birdcage and at Birdcage Marketing, and the same handles on Instagram again, and if you really want to learn how to work with us, make sure you head to our website and book a call. We would love to speak with you.