The Sofa Dilemma: Designing Around the Comfiest Piece in the Room Ep #46

 You might think a sofa is just a place to sit-but it's so much more than that. 

In this episode of Your Home by Design, we're diving deep into the art (and science) of sofa selection. Whether you’re designing a room around a brand new piece or making your current couch work better in your space, this episode will help you avoid common mistakes and find the right fit for your body, your home, and your life. 

I’m sharing my own sofa regret story, what I wish I knew then, and things I’ve learned since—including why the right sofa can literally help your brain relax. We’re talking about ergonomics, aesthetics, materials, and the psychology behind comfort. Let's make your next sofa choice a smart one. 

takeaways

• Choosing a sofa should feel exciting, not overwhelming.
• The right sofa can literally help your brain relax.
• Quality and ergonomics are crucial when selecting a sofa.
• Good posture allows you to feel assertive and confident.
• Your brain releases happiness hormones in a cozy space.
• Designate the room properly for its intended use.
• Don't just focus on looks when buying a sofa; consider functionality.
• Ask about the fabric's durability based on your lifestyle.
• Measure your hallway widths to ensure the sofa fits.
• Use painter's tape to visualize the sofa's space in your room.

Chapters

• 0:00 The Importance of Choosing the Right Sofa
• 1:24 Personal Sofa Experience and Lessons Learned
• 7:31 Understanding Sofa Quality and Ergonomics
• 12:15 Creating a Relaxing Environment with Your Sofa
• 15:40 Designing a Room Around Your Sofa
• 20:01 Key Considerations When Buying a Sofa
• 25:24 Choosing the Right Color and Fabric
• 30:33 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Sofa Shopping

Transcript

N Smu (00:02.604)
Welcome back to Your Home by Design, where we talk about how to create a home that helps you feel good, live better, and actually enjoy being in your space. Today we're tackling a big one, the sofa. Whether you're about to invest in a brand new couch or you've already got one and you're trying to design around it, this episode's for you. We'll cover what to look for when buying a sofa, what to avoid, and how to design a room around this anchor piece.

or a few things you could do to make your existing sofa work with the stuff you already own. I'll share some quick design tips, common mistakes to dodge, and even get into a little psychology and neuroaesthetics to explain why the right sofa can literally help your brain relax. Let's get into it. Welcome back to Your Home by Design, where we talk about how to create a home that helps you feel good, live better, and actually enjoy being in your space. Today, we're tackling a big one.

the sofa, whether you're about to invest in a brand new couch or you've already got one and you're trying to design around it, this episode's for you. We'll cover what to look for when buying a sofa, what to avoid and how to design a room around this anchor piece or a few things you can do to make your existing sofa work with the stuff you already own. I'll share some quick design tips, common mistakes to dodge and even get into a little psychology and neuro-aesthetics.

to explain why the right sofa can literally help your brain relax. This one's gonna be light, fun, and practical because choosing a sofa should feel exciting, not overwhelming. So let's dive in. Okay, so before we get into it, I have to tell you about a time where I bought a sofa that I totally regretted a few years after. So way back when,

when me and my husband bought our first place. It was this tiny little condo or apartment and we were so excited. It was fairly new and both of us, we had brought some things with us, some old pieces. We were in our early 20s so it wasn't like we had made any kind of big furniture purchases at that point. So the sofa was going to be the first kind of big purchase and the first new thing that we were

N Smu (02:22.114)
buying intentionally and putting it into this new place. And we went to the store to look for the sofa and just wandering around this showroom and we ended up finding this massive sectional that was jet black. It was like micro suede. And both of us just fell in love with this sofa. was, yeah, like really big seat depths. It was really long.

And we didn't factor anything else in other than what we loved about it. We both fell for it. It was a total impulse. And we just didn't think about how that was gonna look in the space. I think I was just starting design school at that point. And so I didn't consider what colors we might wanna paint the room, the fact that I'm going with a jet black sofa.

that takes up half of the room. So every other decision that I make in that room is going to be impacted by this color. And it was open plan. So the dining room, the kitchen were visible while you were sitting on the sofa. So we just sort of fell in love. We're like, it's so cozy. It's soft and it looks so cool. It was more contemporary. anyway, so we bought it and we where it was situated in the room was

probably about six feet from a window that would get direct sun for a few hours a day. And what ended up happening after, you know, about a year or two is it started to fade. So that side of the sofa started to change from this black to this purpley blue. And it was very obvious. And of course, that was we had a door coming in to that side of the room so you could see it.

And then over time, the whole thing started getting more lumpy. So as you sat in it, if you've ever sat in a sofa that's older or just not of good quality and it goes lumpy and you start out sitting upright and then after some time you find yourself and you're like, why am I almost lying down? You slowly just kind of start to sink down and

N Smu (04:44.238)
into almost like a lying position. And it's really frustrating because if you don't plan to be cozy and sit there and get all low and whatever, if you want to read and you're trying to sit upright, it makes it really, really hard. Anyway, this sofa over time, it faded, it became increasingly uncomfortable.

And after a few years, I think by that point, I was interning at a design company. And what I noticed was we had some clients who would request to have their sofa re-upholstered. So, you know, we would send the image of the sofa to our upholsterer and we would say, okay, tell us, you know, how much fabric this would need. you know, this is what we're thinking in terms of.

pattern and all of this stuff, we would ask, you know, we want to make some alterations to it. Maybe we wanted to change the arm, the look of the arm a little bit. Maybe we wanted to adjust the back. There was even some cases where they went in and actually changed up the frame a little bit. And anyway, so I was all excited because I thought, well, hey, you know, years later, I was like, well, I can send a picture of my sofa.

to the upholsterer and get it reupholstered because it's faded and I can have him kind of bolster up the cushions and the supports and all of this. And I sent him the picture and it's like I get the email back and it's like, well, it's not worth it. It's gonna cost you more to reupholster it than it would to just go out and buy a sofa that's actually a little bit better quality.

Yeah, I was pretty bummed when I heard that, but at the same time, it was that realization of, right, the quality, what's going on inside that sofa is just, it's bad. And everything that was selected for that sofa from how the springs were faceted to the frame of the sofa, to the fabric. So that fabric and the fact that it faded as quickly as it did to the way that the

N Smu (07:01.612)
the cushions started to go really lumpy and you couldn't sit upright anymore. So everything that that sofa was screamed bad quality. So even doing a fix, like putting new fabric on it is not going to alter the very most important things that a good quality sofa needs. So when we think of a sofa, of course we have

we have to factor in quality and we have to factor in design, so how it looks, but we also have to factor in how it impacts us physically and emotionally. And one of the things that it can do physically for us is ergonomically. So when I talked about how I would sort of sink into that sofa, well, that's ergonomics. So even though a large part of

The reason why I would sort of slowly sink down was the lumpy cushions. But it also meant that the dimensions of that sofa were not right for me. They weren't right for the user. So ergonomics basically means you're shaping your home around your body. So you're using the body's measurements to make sure your furniture feels good to use and you're not having to strain. So that

That was a point of contention for me as I was sitting on that sofa. I was straining to sit upright when I didn't want to lounge.

N Smu (08:39.916)
And when you're slouched, if you're in a slouched position, it can actually cause you to feel tired. Your body can feel fatigued because it actually reduces your lung capacity, which causes you to feel a lack of energy. It can give you even labored breathing. So it's really, really important for just your overall feelings and your productivity to be able to sit upright.

and not in a slouched position. Good posture actually allows you to even feel assertive when you sit upright. It impacts how others perceive you and how you feel. And good posture may reduce stress and boost self-esteem and confidence. And it's an interesting thing when we look at just sitting on a sofa

as just an everyday occurrence, but we're not factoring in whether it's ergonomically correct and it's affecting our posture, therefore affecting how we feel and how we're perceived. And when we talk about how we feel in a space, the ease of navigation as you move past a large piece of furniture is really important.

you want to make sure that the proportions in a space are correct. As you're moving around a room, are you able to move with ease? Anything that's causing strain in your environment is going to impact you in negative ways. So just like when you're sitting on that sofa, if that's causing your body any strain, that's going to have negative impacts. And if you're walking around that sofa, if it's causing any strain as you're moving through the space,

So let's say a sofa is in a room that the room is small and the sofa is too big and you have no choice but to have to walk around that piece of furniture to get somewhere or perhaps you have to walk beside that furniture to get somewhere and there isn't enough space. If there is an adequate room, you immediately are going to compensate. Your body might turn a little bit.

N Smu (11:04.876)
or you might just feel restricted as you're moving by. It might not even be a conscious thought, but that's happening because your body has so much awareness to its environment and it's impacted by those subtleties. So if you feel any sense of strain as you move around the room, that's going to impact you in negative ways. And when you're in a comfortable and cozy

space, your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin, which are associated with happiness and feeling calm and even creativity.

N Smu (11:47.788)
And this really comes down to your nervous system. I've talked about this in a previous episode where I talked about the importance of when you're eating at the dinner table to be relaxed because you're in a parasympathetic state. So when we talk about your nervous system in a space, you're either in a sympathetic or a parasympathetic state. And the sympathetic is that flight.

fight and freeze. And the parasympathetic is that rest and digest. And that's one of the things I talked about in that when you're dining, you want to be able to rest and digest. So if you're stressed and you're eating, but in this case, it's rest and digest, but it's also connection. So when you're in a parasympathetic state, when you're in your living room, when you're sitting on your couch, you're going to feel...

relaxed, you're going to feel...

N Smu (12:50.298)
you're going to be able to be more present. And I would say that when you're in that state, I think that it's time to utilize it and make it work for you, right? You want to take advantage of the fact that your body is in a parasympathetic state. If you're relaxed and you're feeling good and it's authentically relaxed, as in you're not distracted or zoned out, right? Then because if

you know, there's sort of a false relaxation that can happen. So you might think, I'm sitting here, I'm relaxed and watching TV, but you're actually just zoning out. So you're not actually truly relaxed. But if you're in a parasympathetic state where you're truly relaxed, you feel grounded, you feel calm, you're very present, your heart rate slows, your digestion improves, your muscles relax.

and all of these things are happening while you're sitting in your sofa, right?

And all of these things can happen while you're sitting on your sofa. I mean, who knew? So I always say, use it to your advantage, right? Use your home as a tool for better living. And in this case, you will feel better and you'll actually be healthier, right? So I always say, you know, room designations are key. And in this state, like let your mind wander, get rid of tech.

and just reap the benefits of being in that parasympathetic state. And this can happen as soon as you relax. If you use your sofa and the room that it's in as a room to chill and take it easy and relax and to design around that.

N Smu (14:44.586)
So what can you do when you're designing a room around a sofa? If your sofa is your starting point. Well, the most important thing is to designate the room properly. How are you going to use the space? Is it going to be used as a TV room? Is it going to be used as a space to relax or read or, you know,

And when we talk about room designations, it's really important to honor those designations, especially if you're creating a space where you want to read or you want to relax. It's really important to say, this is the room rules. This is what is going to happen in this room, and I'm not going to allow other things to happen. So for instance, it's not going to also dub as a playroom or it's not going to also dub as a place where you doom scroll.

or whatever, you you've got your devices away. You know, you've got your work away. It's not a place where you have a desk and you also work in the day and relax at night. And if there is, make sure that there is a distinction between what goes on in the day and what goes on at night, whether you change up the lighting, just giving your body some visual clues that the room is now transitioning into something else.

So those room designations are really important. And they're also very important when you're thinking about the design of the sofa. Because if you're designating that space to be one that you want to sit up and read, well, you don't want a sofa that's really, really deep and that's really, really cozy. I think we often associate reading and curling up with a book to have

have an overly plush or overly comfy cozy sofa. And I think that in some cases, what that does is that signals that's great, you're gonna relax, you're gonna be cozy, it's gonna be enjoyable. But if you wanna read, there's a point to that that you want, you have to have some alertness. You want to stay focused and you want to stay awake if you plan on reading for longer than 15 minutes.

N Smu (17:08.398)
But it is very important to recognize that if you are planning on using that sofa to read, that the cushions feel right for that. The back height is right for that. The arm height is right for that. The depth of the sofa is how deep you need it to be when you're reading. So all of these things are really important. And that all comes down to size and scale.

Right? that's another thing to consider when you're looking for a sofa is the size and scale in the room. It shouldn't be too small or too big in the room unless you're purchasing a sofa for say a snug where a snug is this tiny little room that it's basically just a sofa. That's the intention of the room is it's a little snug. It's cozy. It's...

You want to curl up in there and just spend some time being cozy and feeling a sense of almost probably confinement. So that's something that, you know, but in general, you kind of, you don't want your sofa to feel lost in the room. And then you don't want it to feel too big that it just dominates the space. The other thing to consider with size and scale is your clearances.

because if your clearances aren't right, back to the ergonomics, if your body is paying attention to how you move intuitively, it's going to cause strain. So you wanna make sure those clearances are good. So giving about three feet on a side, if you're passing by, you want about three feet and a little breathing room so it's not right up against a wall. So creating a bit of negative space.

in the room as well.

N Smu (19:06.271)
And of course, if you have to pass by, you know, the back of the sofa, make sure there's enough clearance behind there. And then just a little tip, it's kind of a bit of a rule of thumb, is just make sure that it's about half the size of the wall that it's going on. That might be able to help. you know, and just keep in mind that sofas, typically, if you're buying one that's already pre-made,

They come in standard sizing. So there's standard depths, there's standard lengths. So make sure, you you test that out. You you can go home and measure it out and make sure it's going to fit the space properly with all of the other items that you want to have in that room for the designated purpose of the space.

N Smu (20:00.91)
Another one is shape. The shape of a sofa is very important because you've got a lot to choose from. There's different styles and different uses as well as formalities. So for instance, a sectional is going to indicate a certain room use, right? You might have it more of a great room or a TV room.

Sectionals are usually quite informal, whereas a love seat might speak to a little bit more of a formal space or something modular could be more of a statement piece. So just really think through what shape you need. There's arm shapes, so a really bulky arm. Something to keep in mind is that that takes up more space, so the length might be the same.

the overall length, the inside length is going to differ. So you might actually not have as much seat space as you think based on the length because of those arm height or arm widths.

And then another thing is the back height as well as the arm height and the seat height. Heights make the furniture dominate the space. So if it's really tall, then it's going to cut up that space and it's going to really, really, yeah, just dominate that space. So if you want your room to feel more airy, if you want to create some visual space,

then make sure that back height isn't too high. But again, it always has to come down to your ergonomics. If you're a really tall person, you might need a taller back sofa. So bear that in mind as you're searching. So something else that I think when people are looking for a sofa and they walk into a store, they're going from showroom to showroom to look, it's really hard to know what they're made from.

N Smu (22:06.7)
because how can you tell when you just look at a piece of furniture on a showroom floor? You can see the fabric, you can sit in it and get a sense of the level of comfort, but when it comes to what it's actually made of and what's going on inside, it's really hard to know. So I always suggest to make sure you ask because the manufacturer will be able to tell you what it's made from.

So, and that will really indicate the quality. So some of the things you wanna look for is the frame. So you wanna check to see whether it's kiln dried wood being used and that's the best, that's high quality. So something like oak or maple or beech. And you wanna avoid plywood or MDF or even soft wood like pine. So you can ask them like, what's the frame made from? And they'll be able to let you know.

You want to avoid webbing. So webbing is sort of how the seat or the cushions are supported. So the best quality webbing is what's called eight way or hand tied springs or sinuous springs. That's another good quality one. But the eight way hand tied springs are superior quality. They're the best. But of course, that would come with

heftier price tag. But so sinuous springs are another thing you can look for. And then in terms of the foam, what you want to look for is high density foam or even down wrapped. All down and feather foam is great, but they do need fluffing. So they're a little bit more fussy. But that's sort of more or less what you want to look for is that high density foam or down wrapped. And just pay attention also to the fabric.

Right? So if you look at the fabric, how is it joined? So look at the seams, look up close. Are the seams aligned? Does it have things like double stitching or piping? Have a look underneath the sofa. How is it constructed underneath? Does it look neat and tidy? Is there a cover at the bottom? And the weight, the weight of the sofa is important. If you lift it up or you squeeze the frame and just, you can get a sense of

N Smu (24:31.862)
If it's really lightweight and it creaks and makes a bunch of noises when you go to lift it up, well, that's typically not a well-made piece, right? So if the weight and heft of it is really good, then that's a good indication that it's a solid frame. You can also ask if there's a warranty on things like suspension and foam. So do that and just...

A sofa is a big purchase. And the last thing you want is to be blindsided by how beautiful it looks and how perfect the dimensions are. And then you get it home and you experience something like what I experienced where it's faded and lumpy after a few years. And when you're looking for what color is the right color sofa,

I mean, there are hundreds of colors you can choose from, but I would say that, you know, if you're spending the money on a good quality sofa, you want it to stand the test of time, right? And yes, you can have it reupholstered down the road, but that is an expensive undertaking. So just think longevity. And often with longevity, it really is a neutral color.

If you go with something that's a statement color, it's bright, then you have to remember that that's always gonna be something you're going to factor in. That is going to draw your eye in the space, and then you're always gonna wanna pull that through into other elements into the room. So then you have to ask the question, would I be okay with this being a dominant color in the space for a long period of time? If you're somebody who likes to change things up fairly regularly,

Then you'll probably want to go with more of a neutral color and then have fun with all of the other things you can add to the room that you can change up seasonally or annually or however often you want to do that. And a great thing to a good practice is always to just factor in that sofa color. So tie it into something so that it makes sense in the space.

N Smu (26:46.028)
So is there a toss cushion that's got a pattern in it where the ground color of the pattern is the same as the sofa color? Or is your rug, does it also have that same tone in it? So tie it in some way, connect it to the space so it makes sense visually and there's a story there.

And when I say story, not an actual story, I'm referring to a color story. So you can see this, this story of color repeating itself in, various places in the room.

And if you are someone who is okay with making your sofa the centerpiece of the room and making it the statement of the room, maybe you're going with a really interesting shape or it's just a really interesting color or pattern even, then using that as contrast, right? And always having that piece stand out,

And if you're trying to design around a sofa that you've already got, that could be, know, if it is a statement sofa, then you're being intentional about that and you're keeping it a statement piece. So everything else that you're surrounding that sofa with should sort of be toned down. You're not competing with it. You're trying to tone down.

and trying to work with it so that that really stands up and stands out as being that intentionally unique piece in the space. The other thing is...

N Smu (28:35.938)
And if you're designing around the sofa that you've got, you want to make sure that everything works together. So like I said, when you're buying a sofa, if you want to pull that through into the room, it's the same if you're working with a sofa that you've already got. So now you're accessorizing to work with that sofa.

So see where you can repeat that tone. And sometimes it's hard because, you know, if you've already got the sofa and it's a certain color, you're now going out and trying to match that color. And if it's not a complete match, that can be challenging because that's where it almost looks like a mistake. So if you can't get a perfect match, try to work with the same tones. So going up.

if you know going a little lighter or a little darker, that's going to help sort of unify it and bring it into the space and make it feel like it was intentional and that you weren't just designing around something that you already had, but very much incorporating it from the beginning. Okay. So and another thing you can do is paint is a beautiful way because you've got so many options for paint colors and chances are you will be able to find a tone that

is right with that sofa. So unifying it in that way is a great thing to do as well.

N Smu (30:04.278)
And some things to watch out for. What I find is that, you know, some of the mistakes that people make when they're looking for a sofa is that they really only focus on looks. They forget to kind of factor in the ergonomics. They forget to factor in what the benefits are to getting the right sofa for the room designation. And that can be the scale of it, the use of it, and how it

how it looks in the space.

N Smu (30:43.286)
And just some things to watch out for when you're looking for a sofa is, you you don't want to just focus on the looks. The looks of the sofa are extremely important because there are so many beautiful, beautiful sofas out there. I actually just the other day found the most beautiful sofa I fell in love. It's called Butter. It's amazing. It's designed by Faye Too Good and it's a gorgeous sofa.

And so, no, you don't want to focus only on the looks. You want to factor it all in. But if you can find a sofa that looks amazing, that also has the comfort, the height, the depth, the scale, all of it that you need, then that's the perfect thing. But don't just focus on how it looks, especially if you're wandering around showrooms. It's too easy.

to get swayed into how it looks and forget the functional needs of the piece. The other thing is with poor fabric choices, okay? Like I've seen this so often where a certain fabric is chosen, again, usually for either the color or the texture or the pattern, but what's not factored in is the durability.

So what's the use? Are there kids? Are there pets? Is there that sunlight? Like I talked about at the beginning, is it going to fade out that fabric? There are certain things that fabrics, requirements that fabrics, certain fabrics have. So ask again, ask the person, the showroom, what is this fabric? Is it suitable? I've got kids, I've got a pet, whatever.

explain to them and they should be able to give you a rating on that fabric which will indicate the use. It's also called rub count and there's you know so just get some information there to make sure that it fits your lifestyle. And then the other thing is to just make sure you test before you buy. You have to sit on it and

N Smu (33:06.094)
kind of have your checklist of all of the factors that you need. Do you need a certain back height? What's the length that fits your room the best? What's the seat depth you're after? Make sure you know what your room designation is going to be so that you can factor all of that in as you sit there. You're going through your little mental checklist of all of the things that you need the sofa to be. And then the other thing, which

This one I have seen more often than not, it is crazy, but to just make sure if you live in an apartment that you measure your hallway widths, okay? If you've got an elevator, your elevator door, I have seen where the hallway was so long and then there's like three turns and the turns, it's such a narrow turn and I've seen people get stuck.

because they cannot get their furniture in. I have heard so many horror stories of literally people ordering furniture and then it just not fitting into their home. So make sure you have those measurements on you and check with the showroom and say, here's, you know, I'm interested in this sofa, but this is my hallway width. This is my door width.

is this going to fit? Like get them to double check those measurements. And if it's being delivered by their guys, you know, if they've got, and if they're responsible for the delivery, then they'll be able to tell you that and they'll be able to reassure you that it's going to fit and make sure that you buy something that actually does fit. Because I have also heard of people having to get

furniture craned in because it doesn't fit. you know, if you have that option, then it doesn't matter. But if you'd rather not go that route, then absolutely double-check and make sure those dimensions work.

N Smu (35:13.89)
So a few little quick tips is to make sure you bring your fabric samples home. Okay, so often when you're selecting a sofa, you can actually borrow the swatches from the showroom. So bring them home and observe them in different lights. Look at them next to art pieces, toss cushions or rugs, whatever it is that is going into that space.

observe and see throughout the day because as the day changes, the light changes and you know the way that that fabric looks at night with artificial light is going to be very different than in the morning with natural light. So make sure to pay attention to that. The other thing is to use painter's tape and just tape out the furniture on your floor so you get a visual and actually walk through the space.

Right? Walk around the sofa, pretend to sit down. Is there enough room for the coffee table and your side tables and chairs and all of the things that you want to add into this space?

Another thing is always, you know, think about where your head is going to rest. Is there proper support for what you need? And then another thing that you can do is if you have a smaller space, but you want it to feel like the sofa doesn't take up the whole room is a little sort of trick of the eye is just to make sure that you can see underneath the sofa. you know,

so that the sofa has actual legs versus a skirt. Because if you can visually see under the sofa, it gives the illusion of more space. And that's gonna be consistent with the other furniture pieces as well. So that's a little trick of the trade, but just make sure that, yeah, you can see underneath the sofa that there's legs. And of course there's different heights of legs, but that will be decided on your seat height and the style of the sofa.