71. Why you Need Creative Ambition

“Ambition is what dreams are made of. It's what makes us believe that we can be more, that we can be a better version of ourselves.” This quote comes from Maria Catherine Harvey. She's the founder and CEO of Smart Way to Start. She's an author and leader of the A Effect in Switzerland. This episode is all about ambition. 

Transcript

“Ambition is what dreams are made of. It's what makes us believe that we can be more, that we can be a better version of ourselves.” This quote comes from Maria Catherine Harvey. She's the founder and CEO of Smart Way to Start. She's an author and leader of the A Effect in Switzerland. This episode is all about ambition. 

Welcome to the Modern Creative Woman podcast exploring the art and science of creativity. And this is your podcast. It's for women like you who want to elevate their creativity and really start applying creative thinking in your everyday life. So I'm your hostess and creativity expert, Dr. Amy, Backos.  I'm a licensed psychologist and a registered and board certified art therapist with almost three decades helping women with their creativity and authenticity. 

Here at The Modern Creative Woman, we are obsessed with helping you build your creativity through conversations and creative insights. I'll give you the science and the art of becoming the woman you've always wanted to be. Let's get started. 

What do you think of when you think of ambition? Is it something you're proud to have or embarrassed to have? Now, what are the stereotypes of an ambitious woman? They're often very unflattering, and I want to remind us that we don't have to listen to any of those stereotypes that come in to our brain, through society, through our upbringing, and then we repeat them to ourselves, and we reinforce these negative ideas. Let's talk about ambition and then let's talk about creative ambition. Ambition is a strong desire to achieve success. Of course we want to reach our goals, perhaps attain a higher position or some kind of standard. I think it's really about setting and striving for significant personal or professional milestones. It certainly has something to do with motivation, determination and persistence, and we'll talk more about motivation later. So someone who is ambitious has a few qualities that I think are really important, and I've identified seven that allow us to focus on what feels good to us and give ourselves permission to go for what it is we really want. 

The first one is self-belief, that we believe in ourselves, that we are capable of creating something that we imagine in our mind. If we thought of it, then we can create it. The next one is having a vibrant vision, really being able to imagine what it is that you want. If you have yet to watch the vibrant Vision webinar. I want to encourage you to do that. You can find the link in the show notes. It's free and it's all about this idea of creating a vision for yourself. There's some really powerful exercises that you can use for the whole rest of your life in deciding what you want. A lot of women that I work with struggle with this idea of what do they want, let alone can they ask for it. So the vibrant vision allows your mind to wander and imagine. To brainstorm and to be creative. Third, ambition has to be fueled by why your why? And that comes from your personal values, your passions. 

That's intrinsic motivation. Or from an extrinsic motivation where we're fueled by some kind of external rewards and recognition. And we need both. I'll go into intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in a little bit. 

Ambition also requires a certain kind of mindset, and this is the work we do inside the membership. All about relating to your thoughts in a way that serves you. Managing our mind, using strategic thinking and values to lead us towards what we want. Ambition requires resilience, and that's essentially the ability to persist, to see the vibrant vision, trust that you had a good idea and just keep moving towards it. It requires willingness. And when I mean willingness, I'm talking about the agreement with yourself that you're willing to be open to what happens. You're willing to put forth effort and you're willing to go through struggles to achieve what it is that you're looking for. And last, number seven is really about being goal oriented. And I'm not talking about SMART goals, although those work in a lot of professional settings. I'm talking about knowing the end that you're trying to get to having a vision and this figuring out the steps to get you there. 

And there's some really great positive aspects of having ambition. And the first one is a drive for excellence. And that feeling of curiosity, pushing to know more or learn more in a different kind of situation, trying out, being a different kind of woman in your relationships or in your work. It also includes a lot of personal growth. It's impossible to move towards a vibrant vision without growing personally, and we all know that where we got to now requires a certain set of skills, and where we want to go often requires a completely different set of skills and mindset. Another positive aspect of ambition is innovation. 

Now ambition has moved humanity forward in terms of the basics of technology all the way through modern day technology. Creating and evolving requires innovative thinking, and setting a goal and moving towards it helps us have more creative thinking. And the research also shows some negative aspects of ambition. Kind of over relying on ambitious behaviour to the exclusion of other things can be a real problem. Overwork and burnout happen to a lot of people in supervising many, many therapists, there is this tendency to overwork the idea that we can give and give to our clients without replenishing ourselves seems to be really prevalent in the field of psychology, and some examples might be not leaving the ten minutes at the end of each hour to take a little break, grab a cup of coffee instead, people will overextend their time and end up seeing clients back to back to back to back without a break for themselves. And we need a little psychological and literal break in between. 

And burnout happens - really in any profession it can happen. Being a parent, it's trying to do it all yourself, believing that you have to do it all yourself. And it's really detrimental to our health. Some other negative aspects that can emerge from ambitious behavior is unethical decisions. And there are certainly some examples in the news we hear about people engaging in truly unethical behavior that they've plotted out and decided upon to defraud people in business. But on a day to day basis, most people don't ever plan to engage in unethical behavior. But it starts to happen through a series of shortcuts because someone might be tired or not taking care of themselves. So they need some shortcuts and they'll start leaving things out that are really relevant. It can lead to some significant mistakes, unethical behavior also emerges from the experience of not knowing. We all don't know what we don't know, and then we learn it and we can do better not taking the time to really engage in our own personal education, about our business, about our bodies, about our psychology, can lead to mistakes from simply not knowing, not advancing ourselves, and not taking care of ourselves. So it's usually little by little, people start taking shortcuts that lead to unethical behavior, and pretty soon they're so far out on a branch that they don't realize that nobody else is behind them. They've really gone in a way that is harmful to themselves, their coworkers, etc.. 

Overworking can be a form of avoidance, and in the last couple episodes, I talked about psychological flexibility and being able to choose in the moment to respond to the moment and not respond to old habits. And the idea of psychological flexibility means that we're making contact with the present moment, and we're not trying to avoid, control, or escape our emotions. Our feelings inside our body, or any uncomfortable thoughts or memories. Working has become a socially acceptable way to avoid our discontents, and that's why it's so important to unpack your personal experiences with a therapist in a group. We're often so blind to our own ways of knowing that it requires some support. I certainly couldn't have grown in the ways that I like without the help of my happiness psychologist or my coach. It really matters that I have these two women that support me in so many ways, and I'm not relying on my friends or my family to offer me insights or call me out if I am engaging in thinking that isn't. The way I want to be going. Finally, with ambitious behavior, we have to watch out for the feeling of discontent. 

Essentially, it's a perpetual dissatisfaction if we're always focusing on our future goals, rather than appreciating our current achievements or how far we have come, and we can start to feel unsatisfied. I think going to school, focusing on accomplishing the next thing and the next semester can feel purposeful for many people, and it definitely felt purposeful for me. And it also led to a little bit of discontent simply because I was always looking forward. It's the nature of academic life. What's next? 

What's next? So making contact with the present moment and appreciating that what you're going through is the process. The goal is a goal, but it's not here now and we're only able to make contact with the no. Well, let's talk about having some balanced ambition. And what I mean by that is setting realistic goals to begin with, things that feel meaningful and purposeful for you, that are not so far away that they feel impossible. And they're also realistic in that you have the energy and the enthusiasm to persist through obstacles. You might have a wish to start an exercise routine, but if you don't have the time or in your unwilling to make the time, then it's an unrealistic goal. You have to be motivated enough to have a healthy body connected to your purpose, that you can give more to your community. Be better with your family and yourself. When you have a health routine. Without having our goals closely linked to our values, our vibrant vision and our why, they are unrealistic. 

Another important part of Balanced Ambition is maintaining your wellbeing. And if you've listened to the Modern Criterion podcast for even just a little bit of time, you know that I am all about finding your balance, your psychological flexibility, self-care. And usually I'm talking about the not that interesting kinds of self-care. Putting yourself to bed on time. Making simple choices throughout the day to give yourself a break. And as I mentioned before, aligning your pursuits with your personal values and your passions is really the only way to have a balanced perspective on your ambition. When we have balanced ambition, it leads to sustainable success and fulfillment. It allows us to avoid those socially acceptable pitfalls of overworking. It allows us to let go of the discontent, of always moving towards a value or a goal, because we can foster this continuous growth and achievement in ourselves. 

Let's talk about creative ambition. And there's two ways that I'm thinking about our own creative ambition. First is a drive to achieve significant goals and reach new heights in creative fields like art writing, music, design. And that's for people who are working in those areas who use creativity in engineering, in science, in art. But there's this other kind of creative ambition that we all have. We have it biologically. It's there, and that's a strong desire to push the boundaries of your own creativity. This is about innovating new ways of thinking, expressing yourself visually. And living a life that feels impactful and meaningful and unique to you. One thing that's really great about this kind of creative ambition is it's process oriented. And I mentioned this quote before. I'm not as goal obsessed as I am process obsessed. That's from Lady Gaga. 

How do we do this? The how is having that clear vision of what you want, your vibrant vision. It's being willing to explore new ideas and approaches, and it's this willingness to change your relationship to your thoughts. I mentioned in the previous episode about going for a walk and ruminating on a problem in my head, and then wanting to get rid of the rumination so I could just enjoy nature. But the reality is, I am both in nature and I'm aware of having thoughts. I'm aware of my thoughts, but I'm doing what I love.,,going for a walk. 

The research also points us in the direction of impact and meaning, and we want to look for creative experiences that have an impact. If I'm able to sort through my thoughts in a different way, and I can show up mindfully at home with my family, that has a huge impact on the people in my house, and that all the people that they go talk to, simple changes in our mind have a huge impact. We can also seek to infuse presence. I'm talking about our values and making action towards them, putting that presence, mindfulness and values altogether. Creative ambition also requires a little exploration and experimentation. 

That's where willingness comes into play. Exploration means we're willing to try some experiments. We could take a different route when we're driving. That's an experiment because it forces you to be in the present moment. It's not your usual route. I'm sure we've all had the experience. It's called highway hypnosis and the psychology literature of driving somewhere. And we've completely forgot driving. We were just on automatic pilot, taking the same route to work. We get out of the car, we don't even remember driving. Exploration and experiments gets you out of that highway hypnosis. 

And it's not just on the highway So many of us get checked out in our lives. We have to try new things, invite someone different to lunch, take some risks and the idea of stepping out of your comfort zone. It feels awful to imagine it, but when we do it, it usually feels pretty good. So here's a little trick that you can use. I often use this with clients. How much do you think you will enjoy this new activity? 0 to 10. And then when the activities over, you ask yourself, how much did I enjoy it? 0 to 10. And the more you practice giving yourself this evaluation on your experiments, the more you'll start to come up with really creative experiments that are more and more fun. Creative ambition also requires connection and collaboration. 

Creativity does not happen in a vacuum. We are inspired by the people around us, and if the people around you are not creative, you'll have to find some new people. Get inside the modern creative woman. You can read books by creative women. You can go to lectures. You can watch film that includes creative, vibrant people. There's lots of ways to get some connection, but the idea of collaboration is how we advance farther and faster when we seek to connect with other people who have our passions. We start generating more ideas, it becomes way more fun and you have support in a totally different way. 

Two things you can do is be willing to lean on the support of other women. Allow yourself the openness to receive advice or feedback. To ask questions, you have to be willing to be a little bit vulnerable. And the second thing you can do is support and mentor other women, taking the time to offer your support to women who are at a place where you used to be is so powerful. The more we can support each other in this way, at work, at the playground, wherever we are, offering our support and asking for support has a huge transformative impact on our creative ambitions and just how we feel. I mentioned earlier intrinsic versus extrinsic. And essentially this is a well-researched concept that's all about motivation, what drives you. And it's not the kind of motivation like, oh, I'm feeling motivated. I may jump up and bake a batch of cookies. 

This kind of motivation is more like associated with the underlying why or your vibrant vision. So intrinsic motivation means that we're engaging in an activity just for the inherent satisfaction and pleasure that comes from the task. We can be fueled by personal interest, enjoyment, a sense of fulfillment. And this can apply to hobbies, to work, to conversation, to the art we make. The task feels meaningful or stimulating, or somehow aligned with your personal values and passions. Now, we might have a hobby because it brings joy. We might want to learn a new skill for the sake of personal growth or to enhance our relationships. And we might want to create art because it feels expressive and fulfilling. 

We do art because it's good for us and we like it. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is driven by external factors. Rewards may be recognition or the avoidance of a negative consequence. And before you think, oh, I only want to do intrinsically motivated things, let me say we need both. Now we, in using extrinsic motivation, are performing a task in order to receive a tangible outcome like money or grades or praise or approval. It can also be avoiding things that we don't want. So we may wish to go to bed late and sleep in the next morning. But the extrinsic motivation of making money at work gets us up. There is a need to have a paycheck to pay the rent. We can be intrinsically motivated to support our family, to have a home, and extrinsic motivated to get up and go to work when we're tired. 

So they really go hand in hand and we want to have a balanced approach with extrinsic motivation. The focus is on achieving a result that's really outside of the activity itself. Studying for the grade, completing a project, looking to receive recognition or approval from others, or biologically driven to want some praise or reward or recognition or connection. And all the research says we need both extrinsic and intrinsic. They're normal. They're natural. We need a balance. Someone might be very motivated to make money to pay the rent because they had an unstable housing situation growing up. That's extrinsic motivation, but it's also intrinsically motivated because they want to have a sense of safety for their family and feel secure in their home life. Overly focusing on one to the exclusion of the other leads to an unbalanced sense of ambition. I want to encourage you to identify your vibrant vision. Move towards what feels good for you. Your presence, your mindset and your purpose all come into play here and trusting that you have support. There are people who will support you. Maybe you don't know them yet. Maybe they are yet to come into your life. But there are people who will support you through your own process of ambition and creative ambition, creating the life that you want and being the woman that you've always wanted to be. 

Have a wonderful rest of your week. Now that you know about how to use your creativity, what will you create? Want more? Subscribe to the Modern Creative Woman digital magazine. It's absolutely free, and it comes out when some men and I know you can get a lot out of the podcast and the digital magazine. Yet when you're ready to take it to the next level and want you to know you have options inside the membership, and if you're interested in a private consultation, please feel free to book a call with me even if you just have some questions. Go ahead and book a call. My contact is in the show notes and you can always message me on Instagram. Do come find me in the Modern Creative Woman on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest at Doctor Amy. Because if you like what you're hearing on the Modern Creative Woman podcast. I'm going to give you the scoop on how you can support the podcast. You can be an ambassador and share the podcast link with three of your friends. You can be a community supporter by leaving a five star review. If you think it's worth the five stars, and you can become a Gold Star supporter for as little as $3 a month. All those links are in the show notes. Remember to grab your free copy of the 21 Day Gratitude Challenge. The link is in the show notes and you can find it at Modern Creative women.com. Have a wonderful week and I cannot wait to talk with you in the next episode.