107. Ten Reasons Why You Aren't Making Art

What if you took the time for things that truly nourish you and bring you joy? You might have a lot of reasons why you can't or won't partake in those activities that are nourishing your soul: being creative, connecting with friends, moving your body. This episode is my list of the top ten reasons why women are not making art, even when they know that it is a powerful tool for insight, connection with ourselves and with others. 

Transcript

 What if you took the time for things that truly nourish you and bring you joy? You might have a lot of reasons why you can't or won't partake in those activities that are nourishing your soul. Being creative. Connecting with friends. Moving your body. This episode is my list of the top ten reasons why women are not making art, even when they know that it is a powerful tool for insight, connection with ourselves and with others. Let's see if you fall into any of these excuses for withholding that pleasure from yourself. 

Welcome to the modern creative woman. We are here to talk about the art and the science of creativity. Thank you for joining me on this audio creativity journey. Welcome in and if you are a first time listener, I am so glad you are here. This is episode 107 and we are now in 223 countries or territories and 206 cities around the world. I am so motivated and excited that this many women are interested in their own creativity and expanding their creativity, so that they can have a positive impact on their relationship with themselves, with the people they love and the people in their communities. The power of creativity moves societies. It evolves us as human beings. And it's free. It's accessible. You're able to use creativity in every situation of your life, and making art is a powerful tool to help your brain tap into that kind of thinking inside the membership. We have been doing some amazing pieces of art and translating that artwork into insights for personal growth and change and committed action. Women are acting on their dreams in a way that is so inspiring. Today I want to talk about the barriers to our creativity. And you can decide where you might fall in these barriers and just know that these barriers are not permanent. They can be removed and you can take action on your own creativity anytime you want. So let's get into this. Let's get this started. Many women I work with find they suddenly lack time to be able to do the things that they love, that nourish themselves, and we are socialized to put the needs of others before us. I really want to challenge that notion because when we are taking really good care of ourselves, the people we are taking care of do better. There's so many studies about women in caregiving positions who exhaust and deplete themselves and become ill because they are self neglecting. It's so often feels like we have to take care of everything, but the only way we can do all the things that we do is through consistent, ongoing acts of self nourishment, self-care. The idea that we can sleep later or be fine with less sleep is a myth. The idea that we can actually do it all, all at once. That's a myth too. There are ways that we can tap into self-care, even when we're busy. You might be working a couple of jobs. You might be taking care of children in. In the heavy lifting years of parenting, you might be taking care of your parents. There are many reasons why we're doing so many things. It's simply unsustainable if we are self neglecting. I always talk to my graduate students about making sure that they're taking excellent care of themselves. They often try and work really hard, really fast, do all the things, check all the boxes, accomplish all the goals in a rapid pace, and then they launch into their career thinking that this is how they have to go, that this is the pace that they should be working at, when it should not be at an unending, maddening pace that we have to pause and take moments for ourselves throughout the day. Many art therapy students I know report, or rather confess, that they haven't had time to make art. And that's when I know things have gotten really bad. If you're in the field of art therapy and you're not making art, something's gone wrong. We need to reassess. Being creative is part of my business plan. In the same way that making time for my own health and going for walks and sleeping. 8 to 9 hours a night is part of my business plan. It's part of my personal plan. It's part of how I get to be the person I want to be. So if you are denying yourself the pleasures of creativity, or you're denying yourself those opportunities to nourish yourself, I really want to challenge you on this. You can think about how you want to do things. You can imagine it all you want. It requires some action. One myth that I've bumped up against myself until I realized it wasn't true, that I needed a huge block of time to be creative, and needed several hours to get a painting started. And once I realized I don't need huge blocks of time, all I need is a little moment of creativity here and there that I could get a lot of creativity done. I always have my watercolor paints on my desk. Currently, I have a collage project spread out across my table that's been going on for several weeks, but the painting is always ongoing. So let me share my list with you. These are the top ten reasons that modern, creative women like yourself are struggling to find time to make art, make space for creativity, and really enjoy the aspects of life that bring us joy. Get us in the flow. Build our relationships with ourselves and ultimately enhance our relationships with other people. When we are creative, we think better. We solve problems faster and in more innovative ways. Our thinking becomes divergent, not merely convergent. That means that we can think more broadly, more flexibly, get more ideas before we decide on solutions. And that always makes for better solutions. When we are making art, we are also in a psychological state of flow which relaxes the brain. It gives us a sense of energy. It almost feels like time is passing quickly. It means you're fully absorbed in the process and art can do that for us. Art also gives us a peep inside our own mind. If you've ever made art and felt annoyed or frustrated, that's interesting. That is information that you can use to know yourself better, and you start to realize that you're creating those thoughts yourself and suddenly everything can change. Art is an important tool for healing, and it always has been. It allows humanity to express itself. It is the source of much political protest. It is embracing joy and allowing us to live our lives in a way that feels full and authentic and joyful. So the number ten reason that modern, creative women like yourself are not partaking. Number ten, you haven't seen art as healing. You imagine art is decorative. It's something that gets hung on the wall. Or you go visit in a museum. Maybe you're imagining that making art is just for artists. Many people just haven't been shown that art is medicine. There are many doctors around the world prescribing a visit to a museum or go make some art. All that scribbling or ripping or gluing. Sculpting with clay. Moving paint around really is a form of returning to yourself. And it's not about the result. It's not about making a pretty picture. It is about the release of your emotions. The number nine. Many women are waiting for confidence to begin. Once I feel ready, I'll start. Have you ever said that I'm just not ready yet. I really want to, but I'm just not ready. Confidence does not proceed. Creativity. Newsflash you don't have confidence in something when you haven't done it yet. Confidence comes afterwards. Many women wait for a sense of certainty. Instead of moving gently through some kind of discomfort and just beginning. You've surely heard that statistic that women will wait to apply for a job until they meet all the criteria Area where men don't feel that pressure. They apply when they maybe meet half the criteria. Confidence does not mean ready. You can go. It's the other way around. Ready? Go. Then maybe you'll feel confident. Many women. This is number eight have confused output with their worth. And this is a function of living in a capitalistic society where we are valued for what we produce. And so if you in some way are thinking that you're only as valuable as what you produce or what you earn, that's a mistake. Capitalism value is about metrics, and art doesn't always produce. It reveals. It heals, it connects. But that truth can really get lost in our culture. I was talking with a woman last week who said that when she tells people that she makes art every time, the the response is, oh, do you sell your work? Where's your Instagram page? That there has to be some kind of product? It's just ingrained in us. To produce value. However, the value of personal insight is incredible. So never confuse your output with your worth. A mantra that I've used, and maybe you can adopt it and change it to fit your circumstance is I am not my writing. I used to feel that my writing was so tied to my worth. Did I do a good job? Did I express myself clearly like it was an extension of me because I made it? And once I came to understand how I'd confused my output with my worth. My writing got so much better and it just became so much easier. So I no longer confuse my value, my personal value, with the thing that I'm making. Number seven. Many women say they just don't have the right container or space. And it is true that we do better when we have a guide or a group or a plan. And that's absolutely why I got started with the modern creative woman so that women could come together. There's a plan. There's a weekly, predictable schedule where you're going to make art. And we women really thrive on structure. We need that. But it's it's not necessary for you to use that as an excuse. I don't have a container, a space, a group. Okay. Find one, get one. They are available for you. If that's been your excuse. Get yourself inside the membership. The number six reason I hear is that art making is kind of too emotionally loaded. It it gives us a feeling of aliveness and also a feeling of insignificance. Listen, art is not neutral. And that's especially true for those of us who dreamed of being artists since childhood. Returning to creativity can trigger grief or comparison. It can remind us of our elementary school art teacher. There can be a backlog of pain or longing to just be our authentic selves, or a wish for the pleasure of free expression like we had in childhood. However, I want to let you know that art is a safe place for all of these things. It's not too much. You are not too much. Art is just right and it always meets you where you are. The number five reason that many women struggle with making art on a regular basis, and taking the time to enjoy it, is that they've just been kind of shapeshifting for too long. After so many years of just adjusting to all our roles. It might be a student, a mother, There being a partner, being a leader at work, we just sometimes lose touch with our original creative voice or our vision or what we wanted. Sometimes women tell me that they feel like they're just mimicking or performing instead of expressing themselves. A number four reason women get burned out become physiologically dysregulated. Emotionally overwhelmed. You might be thinking, I can't even think straight, let alone put pen to paper and create something. If we are in survival mode or under slept, undernourished, uninspired and drained, creativity might feel inaccessible. Art requires a degree of safety and vulnerability and spaciousness, and burnout can feel like it's impossible to make art when you're burned out. It can feel depleting in a way that you don't know where to begin getting back to yourself. There are seven ways to recover from burnout, and one of them is creativity. It's one of the most powerful ways of resetting, rejuvenating, and reviving ourselves. The number three reason why you might feel like you don't want to make art, or you're unable to make time for it, even though it feels like you want to. Is that fear of visibility, or the sense of vulnerability that can show up when we get into our emotions. So sometimes people imagine that they if if they uncover something that feels really big, will it be too much? Or what if someone judges them? And that second one is probably the the one I hear most. I don't want someone to judge me. So if something feels so large that you worry, if you unearth it, think about it, talk about it, make art about it, that you're going to have emotions that feel unsafe, then it would be amazing for you to do some art with an art therapist. They will work with you to support timing and pace, and there's a lot that goes into healing. Before we ever get to unpacking memories or emotions about things that have happened, that making art can feel like a something raw, it really surfaces our unconscious material. It gives us a peep inside our mind. And for those of us who are used to caregiving or controlling so many things on the outside, creating something that's emotionally honest, that's focused on self-expression can feel a little vulnerable, and that's an acceptable way to feel. There's nothing wrong with that. I've mentioned several times on this podcast the book Art in fear, and the idea that making art can bring up feelings of discomfort is familiar to everyone who makes art. This collage that's sitting on my table that's been in process for weeks has caused me so much frustration. I am the opposite of enjoying this. It's it's a real slog. It feels like a struggle. And I know that that is just part of my process right now. So that frustration or vulnerability or worry about putting something out on a piece of paper, it's just part of the process. It's part of my writing process as well. Wondering, is someone going to judge? This is just a part of my process that's going to come into my mind. I don't want to act on it. I want to keep writing the best I can. But that feeling of vulnerability is. Is part of a life and it's part of how we connect. It's part of deepening our relationship with ourselves and other people in the membership. We don't hold up our artwork to share. Now, oftentimes women will send me their image, but I really respect the idea of vulnerability and privacy in Artmaking. Only you can understand what it means, but it can feel vulnerable. I get that, and that is absolutely part of the process. But it doesn't mean that we deny ourselves the opportunity to be creative and know ourselves just because it can feel uncomfortable. We can do lots of things that make us feel uncomfortable. The number two reason, and I think this shows up in everybody, most people, is we've internalized this myth that art needs to be good. And as kids were so open and willing to try and learn new things, it's just expected because everything is new. We never painted with the Crayola watercolors until we got to first grade. And then, you know, in sixth grade, we sign up for a better art class. Perhaps I'd never painted with In acrylics before and it just feels okay to be new. You get to a new kind of math class and a new friend that your best friend isn't in your class this year. We expect newness and we expect to not know things. And then somewhere along the way, we start to think that we're supposed to know what we're doing or look like we know what we're doing. I've heard people say, well, if I can't do it, well, I'm not going to do it. I'm only going to take on tasks that I know I will be successful at. Now, this is a type of perfectionist thinking, and it shuts down the playfulness that we can experience making art. And many of us abandon art in childhood or in high school or college because it became about skill and critique and performance rather than process. It's a whole different experience to be in a college art class. And, you know, every other week we have a critique where all the art goes on the wall and everybody makes comments on it. It sounds daunting. And I would say in the beginning it was, and I had some really great teachers who said, you know, this is just observation. This is just conversation. This is. Not criticism of any individual person. This is just looking at art. And I think all of us in my painting class were able to get psychological distance from our product. That criticism could be taken as helpful, not as punishment or as embarrassment. Or is there something wrong with us? Or we're deficient in some way because our product does not look the way we wanted to? The beauty of making art at home for yourself is there are zero critiques. It is unnecessary to hang your art on the refrigerator or show it to someone. It can be a private experience. The idea that something must be good for it to be worthwhile is also part of, you know, some of the struggles with a capitalistic society that values product over process and experience. The more we see life as a process, the happier we are. The more we see our art as a process, the more satisfied we can become with it. So if you've internalized the myth that you're supposed to be great at something all the time or you're not going to do it, I invite you to reconsider. I think a parallel is in yoga class. If you've gone to yoga class, sometimes you feel like you're stretching. Sometimes you feel like you're experiencing the process of yoga, and they call it a practice because there's not an end to it. There's not a perfect performance in yoga. It's all about the process of being an art is very much like that as well. All right. And the number one reason why smart, soulful women aren't making art, even though we know it's good for us is feels very sad to me is that it feels too indulgent. Women have told me there's too much to do making art feel selfish or frivolous. And for some reason I think it's based on government funding. Art has been mischaracterized as optional or extra. And in the United States, there is a sense of productivity being most important, test scores being most important. And yet, over and over, we know art and music promote these other skills in really powerful ways. The connection between music and math is undeniable. But creativity helps with our writing and science experiments. It helps us connect with others. So to say that art and art time feels selfish or frivolous is completely missing the point. It is buying into the idea that we must be productive at all times. And we as women are especially conditioned to serve others before we tend to our own inner life. Even an obligation at first to our parents, and then perhaps a partner, and then perhaps children, and then perhaps work. And on and on it goes, these external things. But remember, the more you attend to yourself and your needs and your experiences, the better you're able to give, to serve, to lead, to work, to do the things that you want to do. If you can't get past the idea that you don't always need to be productive, you can at least embrace the idea that art will help you be more creative in these external experiences. But I promise you, art is not really optional or extra. We're designed to create and stifling that is detrimental to our health. I hope these ten cognitive excuses for putting off your investment in yourself make sense. Perhaps you identified or related with one or more of these. I think when we can challenge our thinking and explore what is true and what is just thinking, we get a lot more clear. So now that you know these ways. Is that our mind and how society wants us to keep producing can get in the way. Of setting aside time for our creativity. Now that you know all of this, I really want you to consider where you will be. Making space and time and commitment. Putting energy into your own creative practice will have a transformative impact on your life. Send me a message. Let me know which ones you most relate to and I will reply with the ones that I most relate to. Have a wonderful rest of your week! Now that you know about how to use your creativity, what will you create? Want more? Subscribe to the Modern Creative Woman digital magazine. It's absolutely free and it comes out once a month. And I know you can get a lot out of the podcast and the digital magazine. Yet when you're ready to take it to the next level and want you to know you have options inside the membership, and if you're interested in a private consultation, please feel free to book a call with me. Even if you just have some questions. Go ahead and book a call. My contact is in the show notes and you can always message me on Instagram. Do come find me in the Modern Creative Woman on Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest @DrAmyBackos. If you like what you're hearing on the Modern Creative Woman podcast, I want to give you the scoop on how you can support the podcast. You can be an ambassador and share the podcast link with three of your friends. You can be a community supporter by leaving a five star review. If you think it's worth the five stars, and you can become a Gold Star supporter for as little as $3 a month. All those links are in the show notes. Remember to grab your free copy of the 21 Day Gratitude Challenge. The link is in the show notes and you can find it at Modern Credo. Com. Have a wonderful week and I cannot wait to talk with you in the next episode.