126. Five Ways to Reignite Your Creative Power

"Play is the state of mind that we can use in our creative process to our advantage."  Jessica Walsh 

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Transcript

 Play is the state of mind that we can use in our creative process to our advantage. This quote from Jessica Walsh starts us off today. We are talking about the modern creative woman methods that give you a greater engagement in your life, the feeling of meaning and purpose, and of course, creativity. 

Welcome in. I'm so glad you're here today at the Modern Creative Woman podcast. I got a really nice comment on a YouTube video that I made, and they just said, thank you for posting things that are positive. And I got to chatting with my husband about that and he said, look, there you go. That big people recognize that you have an approach, right? Like now people are seeing over and over that I'm talking about the things that I want for me, for you, for the world around creativity, self-expression, peacefulness, kindness within and externally. And I don't repeat terrible negative news stories on my social media feed. I avoid talking about the things that I don't want, and the reason I'm doing that is so you can keep looking at the things that you do want. And one of the keys to happiness is to keep looking at, thinking about, daydreaming about, and acting on what you most desire personally and what you want to see in the world. A really fast way to feel unhappy is to keep looking at things you don't want and dislike and thinking about them, talking about them, and acting on them. I use a positive psychology approach, which is a movement that started in the 1980s at the University of Pennsylvania, and it was really captured in research by Marty Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania. It's the idea that if we're always talking about what's wrong, it's hard to be creating something that's working really well for us. And it doesn't mean we ignore or put our head in the sand. What it means is that we direct our mind to solutions that are desirable, that would work for us and for our families and for our communities. And speaking kindly to yourself is where it all starts. Peace really is. An inside job starts inside you. You extend it to your family and outward it goes. I think a lot of times the things I'm saying are less engaging because I'm avoiding provocative or inflammatory stories and language, and I'm over and over sharing the ways that we can be calm on the inside. Because once we're there, we can start to take really effective and clear actions in the world to make the world a more peaceful place. And because there is so much struggle right now that relates to people projecting hate onto other people. Our job is to keep our side of the street clean and to make sure that we're focusing on what's going well. In addition to acting in ways that are of service or being an advocate, taking care of our neighbors. If you find this kind of message inspiring, I want you to do me a favor. I don't ask for too much. I don't think in the world it's very challenging for me to ask for this kind of thing. If you would share this episode or the podcast with a couple of friends, if you would subscribe and like and leave a review that helps the podcast get more noticed as an option for people to listen to so people that aren't already in our world focusing on positivity could hear some of this kind of message. So if you find it inspiring, please do hit that five star review, share with a friend and the subscribe button. All of those truly help for us to be able to share this kind of message with other women who want to be able to shift to a more positive stance in their life, but maybe don't have the tools. So let's get into this. Let's get this started. When I began The Modern Creative Woman, I wanted to offer an alternative way of looking at creativity in our lives and to really help us tap into our natural creativity, the kind that allows us to be playful and have fun. The kind that lets us try new things, go to new places, and the kind that lets us generate solutions to some of the bigger problems that we might have in the world and in our emotional lives. I created a little manifesto of five strategies that I wanted to build this business on. The first one is self-compassion. And I'll tell you a little bit about what I mean. And as I'm saying these things, I want you to imagine them for yourself. So as modern creative woman, we speak kindly to ourselves and we patiently redirect ourselves to speak with love and compassion. But to ourselves and to others. And self-compassion also means that we become more easygoing about our pace, thoughts about time so that we can change, rest, work, reflect, play, and have fun in our lives. The second area that seems obvious if you are a therapist, to think about mindset and the idea of cognitions that being thoughts that are going on in our head, how we think about things and wanted to create an environment where women could learn to relate to thoughts in new ways. It really is a revolutionary approach. Acceptance and commitment therapy and art therapy is combining two evidence based strategies to create this revolutionary approach to feeling better, relating to our thoughts in a different way, and creating opportunities for us to use our natural creativity to hone in our mind, to root out that unkind conversation, and to recognize that thoughts are something we can look at rather than look through. So the modern, creative women learn to relate to our thoughts in new ways, and we see thoughts for what they are, which is just thoughts. Remember, a thought is one neuron firing across a synapse to another neuron and then spreading out in a pattern across our brain. And the more we think the same thought, the stronger those neural connections become. Play is a really helpful stretch. These are the strategies that I teach. Inside the membership, the actions that are playful. Painting, drawing, writing, engaging those parts of your brain fully support you in all the other aspects of your life. In the same way that we must have thinking, we must have physical movement. They support each other. We can't just sit. We have to move. It's the same with thinking if you go to work and you have to think somethings new for a job. Creativity helps you in that strategy. Engaging in some creative process is specifically designed to change the way you think about your relationships, or the work you do, or your community. Creativity can also help you manage when you're learning about really difficult things through the news. I believe it's essential that we free up both time and psychological energy for the things that we want to bring into our lives, so that you can start a creative practice a few hours a month. That's what we do inside the membership, and in ten minutes you can have a break and scroll your phone, or you can have your art supplies set up and spend a little bit of time engaging your mind in a way that is a true break, because laying on the sofa and scrolling is not a break at all. It's actually dulling our brains. The third aspect is about crafting a powerful presence in our own lives, and this doesn't mean that you're trying to go stand on a stage or become rich and famous. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that inner presence and confidence. You know it when you see it in someone. People who seem self-assured and confident are practicing thoughts that support that. And because they're engaging in that kind of thinking, then they're engaging in the world in that way. So their thoughts are shaping how they present themselves, what they're saying, what they're doing. And this is a skill that you can develop. It's not that we're necessarily all born with these skills. However, we do all have the ability to shift our thinking. So by powerful presence, I mean creating a gentle internal environment that's based on present moment awareness and making contact with the present is one of the core tenets of acceptance and commitment therapy, and many religions and many philosophies. That part is not a new practice. It is, however, linked with what do we do with that present moment awareness? How can we take our contact with the present and. Move our focus to the areas of our life that we think are most important. Powerful presence also means that we're sharing ourselves with other people, and we always save some energy for ourselves. I've seen so many women burn out from exhaustion, taking care of other people, feeling like they have to do it all, thinking that no one else could do as good a job as them at work or at home. The idea that they will do it themselves. It's easier if I just do it myself is a trauma response. Taking time to go slow, leaving space in our schedules for life to happen is burnout prevention for sure. It keeps us healthy in our mind. And finally, our powerful presence relates to creating a healthy environment by attending to our mental and physical health, our nutrition, our rest. Remember, women need nine hours of sleep, ten hours during their period. It means setting aside time for friendships, for education, learning new things. I just started French lessons. I'd been studying on my own for years and I took lots of years four years in high school and then in college. But now I'm working with a tutor to really gain a lot more mastery over being able to listen. To people speaking French so that I can respond more quickly and more, um, enthusiastically or I'm not translating in my mind. That idea of lifelong learning is really important value of mine, and part of that powerful presence means having fun. Art is really play. When was the last time you got on the floor and played with a kid? It is so much fun. You can recreate that any time you want. Through painting and drawing and sculpture, you can play in your mind. Going to the museum and regarding a piece of artwork with such intensity that you begin to notice new things about it that you had missed the last time. The fourth pillar is about meaning and purpose. And inside the membership this month we are looking at women's new search for meaning. It was the very first class I offered and it pulled from a lot of the work of Viktor Frankl. He wrote the book Man's Search for meaning, and it's the idea that we can find meaning under any circumstance, even the worst of circumstances. I encourage you to have a look at that book. Viktor Frankl was in a Nazi death camp, and he focused his mind on making meaning of his experiences, and he survived and created a whole system of thinking called logo therapy. As modern creative women, we do what we do with intention. We choose. We don't just go along with what everybody says or what we learned growing up. We consider what's important to us as women. We use relational ethics. That means we think about how our decisions will impact others. However, it's essential that we know what's most important to us and we take action on it. I also believe that a modern, creative woman commits to that lifelong process of learning. I mentioned education before. It fits here as well under meaning and purpose. It's being curious about other people. If something's rubbing you the wrong way, or a conversation is going in a direction that you dislike. One strategy is to just suddenly become curious. Be fascinated with this person or in what's coming out of their mouth. You can learn to be patient in in situations that previously frustrated you. Part of what I want for all of us is to look for and really create joy in every day. Many people are moving through the same circumstances, right? Get up, go to work, come home, maybe go to the gym or cook dinner at the end, right? Freud says all we have is work and love. So those are the things we do and then we're in relationship with people. And imagine if every woman listening to this took the time to look for and create joy. Just for a few minutes every single day. That would really elevate us all, and it would influence the people around you to be more joyful as well. And finally, I imagine that you and I are able to share our meaning and purpose with others. To have a contented life, we really require two things. One is freedom and the other is purpose. And freedom means your inner experience of not being compelled or having a compulsion to think the same thoughts every single day. That if you have an urge to go run through a field, you go take action on it. Or if you have a desire to speak your mind, that you figure out a way to do that, it means rooting out psychological inflexibility. That kind of work happens slowly over time as we work on our thoughts, and it also happens when we do new things like play, which doesn't have a predictable process. It happens when we travel, when we engage in conversation with curiosity to really listen and understand. And the other thing that we need for that contented life is purpose. And that's defined as being able to connect to something larger than us. It could be nature music, it could be religion, family. It could be the place that you work at and you feel inspired by their mission. But there has to be a purpose to what we're doing. And sometimes purpose to go to work is to get money to pay the rent so we can live in a house. That's purpose. But what we require is identifying that as purposeful. It's not necessary that we all take on a job that is going to change the world. That's simply not possible, but that we feel purpose in what we do. We look for purpose. We look for how we contribute. You might observe your coworkers and contribute to projects. You might engage with people so that you show up in a good mood, and that improves other people's experience. I used to go to this corner store by my house, and I walked by it every single day, and the first few times in the owners were really rude. I saw they were impatient with almost everyone. They'd be chatting on their phone. They wouldn't talk with people. They just rang them up, sent them on their way. And I had it in my head that I wanted to engage with them. And it took a while. It took a long time of saying hello and how are you? Even if they didn't respond? And I brought them cookies and it started to get a little bit different, the relationship, we would be more engaged in conversation, longer conversations. I got to learn about them. And it's a group of brothers. And so I got to learn about their family and they got to know my family. And, you know, they would have a lollipop for my son when he was really little. And being able to engage in community is important to me. And then we all started having fun and saying hello on the street, being engaged in a relationship that was really friendly. And I think what it took of me was to not take it personally, that they were quiet and absorbed in whatever they were absorbed in rather than customers. And I didn't take it personally, and I just kept acting from my own value. I was not at all attached to the outcome. I had no idea if they would ultimately, I could win them over if they would engage with me or not. But in that process, I felt really able to share my own experience of meaning and purpose in the world. The community really matters to me. It matters a lot that I say hello to people I see every day. And the fifth and last core is about authenticity. I imagine that you and I want to show up both for ourselves and for others, as our true selves, as our authentic self. I know many writers have written about the idea that it's just better to be yourself, because then you find your people and people like you for you, rather than like you for strategizing or manipulating or a persona that we put on when conceiving of the modern, creative woman. I kept picturing that we would come to deeply appreciate our interests, whatever you're interested in, but also appreciating our talents and allowing our interests and talents and our joyful example to be the gifts that we offer to others in our family and in the community. That our talents are just an example of what's possible of the things we accomplish could be an example to someone else. And finally, I really hope that we're manifesting new opportunities to express ourselves and sharing authentic relationships with others. I create a new class every month, and this has been going on for several years, and I wondered if I would run out of topics. And after a while I realized that the more I was creating, the more creative I felt, the more I shared an idea and built a class upon it. With the research and art therapy, the more engaged I felt. So I'm so invested in this process, it's hard to imagine not having that creative experience. I get to write. I get to make art. Put it together as an educational experience for you in the membership here on the podcast and for the women that I work with. The more we're creative, the more creative we get. And I promise you, everybody is creative. And all of these methods really are focused on increasing your value based actions. Doing what feels good and what you love. Doing what's important. Taking action to do what feels important to you naturally lowers stress and anxiety. The more we focus on creating what we want, the less room there is psychologically for stress and anxiety. These strategies also improve our thinking, speed and processing when we are creative. It improves our brain overall. And finally, when we're creative, it improves our relationship with ourselves and others. If there's been parts of your life that you've struggled with over and over again, friendships or romantic relationships or promotions at work, engaging with community, all of these areas we might find that we struggle in. But creativity supports those areas where we struggle. It allows us to think differently and diffuse from. Problematic thinking and move towards value based actions. I love this quote from Ava DuVernay. Don't wait for permission to do something creative. It's an action that you can take at any point in time. Make art. Write something. Engage in new thoughts. My favorite way of engaging in new thoughts is to look out the window, see what might come to my mind, and then ask myself what else might be true and see what else is possible when I'm thinking about something. Is it possible I can see the other perspective more clearly? Is it possible that there are other ways to do my chores, or get my groceries, or drive to pick up my kid? Anything can be done in a different way. And just the act of thinking of how could it be done differently? What else might be possible can completely change your value based actions. If you would like to grab your copy of the Modern Creative Woman Manifesto, it's free and you can find it in the show notes before you leave. Would you leave a five star and a review and then share this episode with three women? These are free actions. They take just a minute and what it does is support having this positive psychology women focused content available for you for free. By spreading positive psychology information, you are helping make the world a better place. And taking action on that value is important for all of us. As always, I cannot wait to speak with you in the next episode.