154. A New Way to Respond to Uncertainty

When life feels uncertain or overwhelming, it’s natural to return to familiar ways of coping. These patterns often developed for good reason—they worked at one point in time. But as circumstances change, those same strategies can become limiting, keeping us stuck in cycles that no longer support our well-being.

In this episode of The Modern Creative Woman, Dr. Amy Backos explores the psychology of change and why moments of stress are often the most important times to try something new. Rather than retreating into old habits, these are the moments that invite experimentation, flexibility, and growth.

Drawing from behavioral psychology, this episode breaks down the fundamental reasons we seek or avoid change—either to reduce discomfort or to increase pleasure—and how these motivations shape our decisions. Dr. Backos also explores three core drivers of change: movement toward our values, the process of self-actualization, and the innate human drive to explore and create.

A central focus of this conversation is the role of creativity in disrupting automatic patterns. When we engage in art, we create space between thought and action. Instead of reacting immediately, we are able to observe our internal experience, externalize it, and approach it with greater curiosity and perspective. This shift allows for more intentional choices and opens the possibility for new ways of responding.

You’ll also learn how subtle psychological tools—such as nudges, environmental design, and behavioral anchors—can support meaningful and sustainable change. These small adjustments reduce decision fatigue and make it easier to follow through on the behaviors that align with your values.

This episode also explores:

• Why we return to old coping strategies during times of stress
• How to recognize when you are ready for change
• The difference between rapid life changes and gradual behavioral shifts
• How admiration, frustration, and comparison can signal a desire for growth
• Practical ways to use your environment to support new habits
• Why consistency—not perfection—is essential for lasting change

Creativity is not just a form of expression. It is a mechanism for change. Through creative practice, you can begin to shift long-standing patterns, expand your responses to stress, and develop a more flexible, adaptive way of engaging with your life.

Transcript

When so many things are changing around us, it can be tempting to retreat into ourselves and look for ways that have comforted us in the past, or take an attempt to resolve discomfort in old ways that maybe served us when we were younger, or served us when things were not as challenging as perhaps they are today. However, I want to encourage you to look at change in a slightly different way that when we are experiencing a great deal of stress, it's time to explore new options. It's in those moments of distress when we try something new that we're able to discover and reimagine how we can cope with what's happening. Art is, of course, a fundamental way that we can do that. It allows us the opportunity to experience our emotions, the difficult ones, and have a look at it in a slightly different way. We get to externalize our problems and have a view of it from a perspective of perhaps a curious scientist or an observer of a struggle. And in those moments when we choose something different instead of the action immediately following whatever our thoughts are, we can grow and change in truly positive ways. So in this episode, I want to invite you to experience your emotions and notice what's happening without being so attached to it in a way that makes it difficult to move forward or to take care of yourself. Let's get into this. Let's get this started. 

Welcome into the Modern Creative Woman podcast. I'm Dr. Amy Backos. I'm a licensed psychologist and a registered and board certified art therapist, and I've been doing this for over three decades. And while what I'm offering is not at all medical advice, what I am here to share with you is the art and science of creativity, and adding more of a creative experience into your life, so that you can step away from those repertoires of behavior that no longer serve you. I want to give an extra special, warm welcome to the listeners from Hungary, and I'm celebrating with you at the democracy that's happening in your country. And I'm a third generation Hungarian American, and I'm always following along in Hungarian politics. So congratulations to all of you and welcome in. As things are changing globally and locally, I want to talk about why change happens and why we seek change, and why we sometimes try and avoid change. And according to behavioural psychology, there's just two reasons why we might want to seek change or resist change. But when we're seeking change, it's because we want to remove discomfort or pain. We want to feel better in some way by getting rid of discomfort. And we will work really hard to remove psychological distress or social isolation, or even uncomfortable memories. In other words, we really work hard to stop feeling so bad. And the other reason we might seek change is we want to increase our pleasure or increase the rewards. We want to have more creature comforts. Perhaps we want to connect with other people. And in this case, we want to feel something pleasant, safe, secure, successful. Conversely, we might want to avoid change because we fear the discomfort that it might cause. And we think of that rather than the pleasure that it might give us, or the discomfort that it might relieve when we decide to make a change in our lives. I've identified three reasons that we might seek change, and they're really part of the human condition. So there's a type of change that's aspirational and it's movement towards our values. Perhaps we want to spend more time with our family and really enjoy and savor our moments with them. We might want to contribute to our community and be part of our neighborhood and part of our social community. We may have aspirational wish to engage more in our spiritual life. Perhaps aspirational. We want to focus on our physical health or improve our emotional wellness. The second category is about self-actualization, and this is about knowing yourself a little bit better. Self-actualization comes from Maslow and the hierarchy of needs. You're probably familiar with that. At the very apex of the triangle sits self-actualization. And it's when we're able to feel like we're living our lives to the fullest. We're living with authenticity, and then we're helping other people do the same. It's those moments when we reach our hand back and help someone who's coming up behind us. Maslow did not conceptualize the hierarchy of needs so much as a triangle. That was a drawing that came along later. And what we understand about the hierarchy of needs is it's necessary to have one before going to the next. However, it's not the same for everyone and we can help each other out and live with authenticity, even if we're struggling with some of those other levels like safety and housing and community. There are no definitive laws that you can't reach out and help others, because wherever you are, there's somebody who's behind you and could use your help. Then the third area where we might want to change is the urge to explore and to create and to seek knowledge. And these can relate to our values, exploring how we can help our communities or helping the government. And they are also a biological urge, that urge to get more information and to explore its biological. The urge to get up and walk for a baby is the same thing, that we have the urge to understand our environments. Now, you may wonder how you might know if you're ready for change. Sometimes it's fatigue where we're tired of feeling bad. As I mentioned before, we work hard to get rid of discomfort, but we often choose things that are not helpful. Maybe those short term fixes that are dangerous to us in the long run. Scrolling social media, engaging excessively with AI, watching too much television or online, shopping or drinking, eating all these things that can be fine, but in excess. Or when we turn to them automatically as a way to self soothe, they start to become a problem. But you can start to know that you're ready to take some of these greater shifts when you're daydreaming about something different, or if you find yourself meditating on peace. And I hope you are, that we're envisioning a world that is a little bit different and has a more peaceful environment for everyone. If you find yourself praying for something different, another way we seek to understand why we might want to change is traveling going out of the country, going out of our immediate neighborhood, and anything in between can help us really understand that change is possible. It gives us a new perspective. It helps us improve our theory of mind, which is understanding other people. Fantasizing about something related to change can have a huge push for us. That might show up in your New Year's resolutions or your vision boards. You might find yourself looking at aspirational images like Architectural Digest or a fashion magazine. You may find yourself looking at new art or seeking out a particular art exhibit. All of these are ways that you're looking for change, and they're really productive ways of imagining something different than what is. And when we engage in making art, we can explore and start to disconnect the automaticity, the automatic responses to what's happening in the world to wanting to change or not wanting to change. Engaging in an art process allows us to understand ourselves and stop being so automatic or rigid in our thinking. Now there's ways that we might unconsciously seek or explore change. And some of these you might like, some of these you might not like. When you admire other people and what they do, or conversely, if we feel jealous of other people or annoyed by other people. Both of those are an invitation to explore ourselves. What is it about someone else that we are compelled to think about? We like something or don't like something that we see in them. And when that happens, it's because there's some part of us that relates to that aspect. If we admire someone's clothes, we may wish for them to put more attention into our own self-expression. Or if we're frustrated by the way someone talks to us, we may find that we want to speak up more, and we wish that we had different skills. Another way that our unconscious wish to change can show up is copying other people. So maybe you admire someone on social media or some friend or family, and you copy things that work for them in hopes that you could kind of try out their identity. When we celebrate ourselves and other people, we are definitely open to change. When we're no longer judging ourselves or others for success, we are absolutely open to seeing things in a new way. When we try new things, take a new class. If you go to the gym, you might try a class at a different fitness studio. Any little thing that we're trying new, a different bakery to pick up your pastries, a different anything is an invitation to think differently. Of course, our unconscious shows up in our nighttime dreams, and you may find that you have dreams that inspire you to act or not act in a certain way. If you're feeling restless and hoping that things can change or you experience conversely, sadness when other people are successful, that's also a reminder that there's something about us that is seeking that as well. Our brains and our perceptions can change rather quickly or rather slowly. Often there is a combination of both. You can have a sudden change in your life through one of these dramatic life events. So you move to a new region. You get married, you become a parent, you take a new job, you go on a retreat. All of these things can happen sort of suddenly, like we're planning for them, prepared for them. But one day, there it is. There's also unwanted experiences that can happen suddenly. An unwanted life event. Illness, loss. Being a victim of crime. All of these can suddenly change our experience. More often, we're used to these kind of slow changes that happen through new habits, new environments, new beliefs. In the last episode, I talked about a dedicated habit to engaging with the arts or participating in art making. And slowly, over time, that improves our health in tremendous ways. And because we're all imperfect and we struggle to make logical, healthy, inspired decisions sometimes. And that's okay. That slow changes always include a bit of relapse or a stepping back. One area that psychology has really helped me out is the power of a nudge. And a nudge is a small tweak to the environment, to our language, or to something else around us that brings big behavioral changes. And so we can learn to use nudges to remind us about making our environment full of support. We might build in a nudge of a weekly coffee date with a friend, so that we're nudged to always have a connection with that friend. You can change your environment in a certain way, so that the things that you want to engage with are out front and center, and things you don't want are put away. So an example of that would be leaving art supplies out, or I leave my knitting in a little bag by my desk. So it's a nudge that when I have a few minutes, I can just sit down and knit. And these social cues or nudges can have a huge impact on your life. And one way to figure out your personal nudges is to imagine you have a consultant coming into your home who's going to nudge you towards a particular behavior change. Say you want to start a new facial routine in the morning, or say you want to exercise every morning at the gym. What would a organizational psychologist suggest to you and start to imagine what that good, quality, healthy advice would be? And that projective technique allows your brain to have sort of more access to more regions, and you can get better ideas going. Using these nudges also reduces decision fatigue. You've probably heard the suggestion to put out your gym clothes the night before. Or pack your gym bag if you're going to the gym in the morning. Well, if it's all set and ready to go, you don't have to decide if you're going to the gym. You see your clothes are out, your bag is packed, and then you go. It'd be the nudge becomes an automatic decision. You don't have to decide. Will I go to the gym or not? And using these little nudges can really increase the chance of our change. Another suggestion from the field of psychology is making a good option easier to choose or a bad option more difficult to choose. So there have been studies in cafeterias about where they put food, inconvenient locations for people to grab the salad versus the desserts. If you think of how you do your grocery shopping, we know to shop the perimeter of the grocery store first, and then we avoid processed foods and our cart is full of healthier options, and then we can decide if we want to go down the processed food aisles and select with more clarity and carefulness, because we already have a pretty good selection in our cart. Another way that this happens is automatic deposits. If you automatically move money every month from your checking to your savings, it's a you don't have to think about it anymore and it allows you to engage in this healthy behavior. You set it and you don't have to think about it anymore. Another way that we can change our brain in the moment is to slow down and be mindful. So certainly listening to music for a few minutes a day, trying for 20 minutes a day will have a huge impact on your ability to manage your mind, manage your emotions, and in those moments of distress, pausing, taking a breath and doing something to help you be mindful and delay can have a huge impact on your life. For example. I learned to wait to push send on emails if I was feeling agitated while I was typing the email, I know I should not be sending it right then. I need to come back and think about it. Putting things we don't want to engage with in the back of the pantry. So cookies go in the cupboard, not on the counter is one example. And finally, you can create psychological anchors. For example, if you've ever been on a charity website ready to donate some money, there's always this suggested donation. They'll say, would you like to donate $3, $5? $7? Other. And so they've given you a psychological anchor of just a few dollars would be wonderful. Conversely, a charity looking to raise a large amount of money might give you a suggested anchor of $1000 or $10,000. Now, you can use the power of these psychological anchors for yourself. You can set the number of steps you'd like to take in a day. You could set the amount of time you would like to engage in making art every day. I have a like psychological anchor for how long? I practice French every day, and for how long I will make art and move my body. And I chose low numbers. I can always do more, but it makes it psychologically possible for me to write for 20 minutes a day or knit for ten minutes a day. I can always do more. But that anchor is what allows me to build the motivation to get started. Ten minutes is nothing. 20 minutes is nothing. I can do it. I'd like to wrap things up by reminding you that when you feel tempted to retreat into old strategies that perhaps have a difficult long term consequence, or that worked in the past but no longer work, choosing in that moment to enact change has a huge positive impact on your life. A study out of Harvard School of Education about the ways that learning and art translate into other life skills really piqued my interest, and in their research, they concluded that making art helps us observe and see with acuity. It allows us to envision by creating mental images and using our imagination. Furthermore, it allows us to express and find our individual voice. We can reflect upon decisions. We can make critical or evaluative judgments. We can engage. We can persist. In the art. We can work through our frustrations. We can explore. We can take risks, try change, and really profit from our mistakes. The author of that study is Hetland and was from 2007. The National Endowment for the Arts reports in 2011 that in study after study, arts participation and arts education have been associated with improved cognitive, social, and behavioral outcomes for individuals across the lifespan. And the World Health Organization meta analysis on arts in health care further extends this to show that the arts have a positive and strong benefit to our emotional and physical health. So now that you know all of this about making art, how to use nudges and how to really connect with yourself through an art process that lets you experiment with change. Now, what will you create? Thank you so much for joining me here today on the Modern Creative Woman podcast. It is always a pleasure to hear from you. You can message me in the show notes or find me on Instagram at Doctor Amy Bakos. If you're interested in supporting this kind of information, you can sponsor the show for just $3 a month. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and I look forward to speaking with you in the next episode.