The Power of Being Over Doing: Embracing Effortless Existence

In this episode, Dr. Dwayne delves into the profound difference between 'doing' and 'being.' He emphasizes that 'doing' involves effort, recognizes limits, and seeks permission, while 'being' is effortless, requires no permission, and encompasses a state of presence and awareness. Dr. Dwayne discusses how 'being' leads to a fulfilling life, driven by joy and purpose, unlike the constrained life of 'doing.' He highlights that embracing 'being' aligns with the natural order and transformative power of the present moment, fostering a mindset of abundance and self-acceptance. Dr. Dwayne shares personal insights and invites viewers to reflect on their own lives, offering tools for transitioning from a life of 'doing' to one of 'being.'

00:00 Introduction to Doing vs. Being

00:27 The Effort of Doing vs. The Ease of Being

01:27 The Impact of Being on Life and Career

02:29 The Priceless Nature of Being

03:04 The Indispensable Truth of Being

06:31 The Role of Love in Being

10:48 Personal Reflections on Being

20:59 Embracing Abundance Through Being

23:55 Conclusion and Next Steps

Transcript

[00:00:00] Doing is work. 

[00:00:04] Being is 

[00:00:06] effortless. 

[00:00:07] Today's principle is simple and brief. As most things which have profound impact are, doing is work, but being, being is effortless.

[00:00:27] doing recognizes limits such as budgets and timelines. and therefore at its core, doing asks for permission. Being requires no permission.

[00:00:45] Being recognizes that the focus, the power, the essence of all that we know and experience is how we show up 

[00:01:02] Being steps into the situation with an awareness, with an expectation that all of the individual elements needed to experience the fullness, The fullness of that moment will be there and present and available.

[00:01:27] being is the difference between days strung together with endless activity and a life truly well lived.

[00:01:42] Being is the difference between a life poured into a profession. in anticipation of a retirement someday and a fulfilling, enriching, productive, and charitable career that never ends.

[00:02:06] doing is the nine to five that pays the bills. Being, being

[00:02:15] is what gets you out of the bed. with joy, and rocks you to sleep, deep seated satisfaction.

[00:02:29] Doing is expensive. Being is priceless. Doing pays a nominal dividend. Being has returns which are exponential. Doing is the bee fluttering from one flower to the next. Being is the seed that that be makes possible. And therein is the indispensable truth of the matter. Doing is a stepping stone and not an end unto itself.

[00:03:19] Where we want to arrive, the destination, as it were,

[00:03:26] are ways of being.

[00:03:29] which are uniquely and genuinely our own.

[00:03:35] Being is arriving at the moment on this side of the womb

[00:03:44] that makes the journey oh so worth it. 

[00:03:50] Being seeks to recapture what we came here with. from the womb. Pure, unadulterated potential.

[00:04:04] Purpose without judgment, external nor internal.

[00:04:12] Doing acts as if the grave

[00:04:17] doesn't exist. Doing likes to believe that death won't come for it. Being recognizes that all things come to an end. And that there is no time to waste. In fact, being makes death its catalyst. being allows a fullness to evolve and bloom because being recognizes that now is the time. Now is being's chance.

[00:04:58] Being knows that there are no opportunities to do in the grave.

[00:05:05] And so those who are fully present, live with no fear of death, because that is the key to their presence.

[00:05:18] In that state, you are your most godlike, fully present, imbued, indeed convinced of the power of now.

[00:05:35] And not just the opportunity, not just the invitation. but indeed your privilege to access it 

[00:05:47] and to deploy it in the pursuit of what brings you joy unapologetically without the need for permission and with service to no purpose but your own.

[00:06:04] Now this may run counter to so much of what we hear and have been taught. But I promise you, it is cohesive. Because at this space of being, that this moment invites you to,

[00:06:26] here, in this place of awareness,

[00:06:31] the guiding principle is love.

[00:06:35] Love is what will allow you to reconcile your need to show up for yourself with your desire to show up for others. and that choice of words, it's not accidental. You have to show up for yourself if you have any chance of showing up for others. And at the core of that recognition, at the core of that principle, is a deep abiding embrace of what is good for me.

[00:07:25] What's in it for me makes the world go around.

[00:07:32] And yes, I do believe

[00:07:35] that it is a reflection of both the world seen and unseen.

[00:07:43] Ask the flower.

[00:07:45] Ask the tree,

[00:07:47] ask the blades of grass on a thousand hills, they'll tell you the same. That what makes you possible is the same thing that makes them possible. The essential function,

[00:08:06] the essential drive

[00:08:10] to take what is required for the survival of each blade of grass and to marry it with what is sustainable.

[00:08:25] And so as I invite you to think about what this principle means in your own words, That doing requires effort. Doing is work, but being is effortless.

[00:08:42] The invitation is this. Think about the ways in which you're not getting what you truly want. Think about the ways

[00:08:56] in which the small inner voice that's been speaking to you all your life is begging you, urging you to show up in this space and think about the step, just one, that you can take today that'll move you in that direction.

[00:09:25] See if the blades of grass hadn't gotten it right. If the flower and the bees hadn't decided. Hmm. What's in this for me? There wouldn't be no you. There wouldn't be no me.

[00:09:44] Because at the heart of this glorious experience we call creation is pleasure. And pleasure is personal. Pleasure is individual. And pleasure is personal. does not exist without pain.

[00:10:09] And so sustainability of choices is baked into the experience, which is the reason why doing is not sustainable. We must find ways of being

[00:10:27] which don't feel like work and what this moment makes possible what the world toward which we are moving with deliberate speed feels like.

[00:10:42] It's a home of your own creating.

[00:10:48] So, when I describe the meaning of this principle in my own words, in the work that led me to this moment, Here's what I said. How I experience life and show up in relation to myself and others is much more important than anything I can ever say or do for myself or for another.

[00:11:20] How I experience life and show up in relation to myself and others. The experience of life is what I'm talking about.

[00:11:35] No one can tell you what that's like. No one can tell you what it feels like. And no one can tell you how it should be.

[00:11:49] This is the essential work of this journey. We must decide for ourselves who and how and why we will be.

[00:12:05] And then the question becomes, what aspects of this principle resonate with me? I'd really encourage you to take some time with this one. It's not enough to listen to what I'm saying. Because it makes you feel good because you like the sound of my voice. You

[00:12:31] have to seek those points of resonance that you're experiencing as a result of this journey. And then once you decide where you like to vibrate, Oh, that's where you get in, where you fit in. Because trust me, waiting there, All the others who've decided, oh yeah, this is where I vibrate too. Everything that we're uncovering with all the tools of our experience, I'm talking about as a species, everything underscores this fact.

[00:13:16] Our experience

[00:13:19] is a multitude of potentials. That's what our understanding of quantum mechanics underscores. And it's not a new idea. The explicit statement of the idea is over a hundred years old. We've developed the tools on the backs of that thought experiment. And the question, the challenge, the opportunity for you is to do the same in your own.

[00:13:56] Damn life. Take the tools

[00:14:00] that the blessing,

[00:14:02] Of being born at this time, in this place. You take the tools and you decide. what you will do with it.

[00:14:16] The sooner you get to that job, the more effectively you pursue that job of being godlike, of creating for creation's sake, and of doing it for your own damn self,

[00:14:37] for the joy that it will bring you. Oh, the sooner and the better all the rest of us will be, the sooner we'll get to shift with you. into a fuller version of our fullness

[00:14:53] because the creation does wait with earnest expectation for all the sons daughters and gender fluid others of god a provision that's my higher power

[00:15:13] all of us to be revealed yeah so you can already guess how it resonates with me The question is, what aspects of the principle resonate with you? What I wrote when I first did this work is that It is more important that I experience life as I choose to live it, rather than to meet any expectation.

[00:15:39] There it is.

[00:15:41] With what aspects of this principle do you have difficulty? What aspects of it are rubbing up against those rigid constructs

[00:15:54] that until this point maybe you haven't challenged, you have not

[00:16:00] been offered or more likely accepted the opportunity to interrogate? This is a space to do that work.

[00:16:11] And to do the work with the understanding that there are no right or wrong answers. The answer is the answer you choose.

[00:16:23] What I wrote was this, in an effort to please others and justify my existence, I have practiced doing over being all my life.

[00:16:38] Unlearning this requires effort. and is at times painful, but it is slow and steady work and it is worth it. Amen to that.

[00:16:53] If I truly walked, this is the money question here, if I, if you, if we, truly walked the talk with this principle, what in my life would change? What in your life would change? What in this world would change? Hmm.

[00:17:18] I said I would be abundance. See this is getting at the heart of some mindsets that we walk around with y'all. And one mindset that I very understandably had growing up in a trailer in rural South Carolina in front of the railroad tracks. Yeah, we were on family land, but it was still in a trailer Recognizing that

[00:17:48] who I was on the inside did not recognize a space that could embrace him on the outside.the choice, The decision that I made

[00:18:07] was that I had to have money

[00:18:10] so that these people would accept me.

[00:18:15] And trust me, I ain't alone in having made that decision.

[00:18:20] The way it plays out in the queer community, and this ain't a new thing, alright? This is something that, uh, people who probably call themselves gay for longer than they even considered the concept queer have said.

[00:18:39] You can be an old fag

[00:18:41] as long as you're a rich fag.

[00:18:44] And so baked into that truth, if you will, are some choices. Some choices that sound like,

[00:18:54] I can apologize for who I am, meaning I can gain acceptance, in your eyes for who I am by surrounding myself with things that you recognize as valuable, that you find acceptable.

[00:19:17] That's a fool's bargain because it is not sustainable. What price are you going to put on self acceptance? What price are you going to put on The ability to look yourself in the mirror and to embrace all that you see. You can't put a price on that.

[00:19:39] And so what that choice nurtured in me was a doing, doing, doing, doing, doing mindset. Was a getting, getting, getting, getting, getting way of being. Get all you can and can all you get.

[00:19:59] get all you can and spend all you get. Get all you can and enjoy all you get.

[00:20:07] The point is

[00:20:09] that it's not a surrogate for self worth. It's not a surrogate for self esteem. Not a sustainable one. Eventually, we all have to look ourselves in the mirror.

[00:20:29] And the tragedy from where I'm sitting is that far too many don't do that work

[00:20:37] until arguably it's too late, until death

[00:20:42] is knocking on their door.

[00:20:44] And this is the reason why being

[00:20:47] turns mortality

[00:20:50] into a friend. Being looks at mortality and sees it as a catalyst

[00:20:59] And so what this work and this question of embracing this principle, what it's made possible for me is replacing the need to figure out how to make more money, and even more money, and even more money, to replace that with the way of being, which is abundance. Abundance. What it's brought to life is the ability to truly radiate that abundance, to walk in the knowledge. I am the source of the abundance that I seek in the paycheck, that I seek in the bank account. Oh, and that has been a game changer

[00:22:01] because what it has made possible is the ability to see my life.

[00:22:08] as the irreplaceable, profoundly, infinitely valuable resource. And to make sure that whatever I'm offering my life in exchange for, all that I'm getting a good deal.

[00:22:25] So as I truly embrace this principle,

[00:22:29] as I do the work of growing an awareness

[00:22:34] of the places in my life. in which I'm still operating off of the old programming.

[00:22:41] Oh, I've just watched abundance flow in from one corner of my life to the other. And it's all about the choice to be abundance, to resonate from a place of abundance, and to step into every situation With that mindset and reality at hand, it is the systematic pruning of all ways in which the scarcity mindset still shows up and to plant seeds of an abundance mindset and then to watch them grow.

[00:23:30] If I truly walked the talk with this principle, what in my life would change? I would be abundance. I would radiate it effortlessly and all my decisions would acknowledge the presence of effortless, endless abundance. So, if you've heard something today, that resonates with you

[00:24:02] and that is stimulating you to do more work. I've got a tool

[00:24:10] that I want to make available to you. Go to rxfaithcoaching. com. Mention the principle and how it resonated with you. What it is that is stimulating you to achieve

[00:24:27] and I'll send you a tool that'll help you to begin to objectify how you're lining up the things that you say are important to you with the actions that you're taking every day. 

[00:24:47] And this can be the first of many potential steps you could take on the road from doing to being. It's been such a pleasure to be with you today. I've grown as I've shared with you today, and I can't wait to see what we will co create next. Until next time, this has been Dr. Dwayne. Love and light.