The Scrumptious Woman

S2 EP35 When the World Feels Unsafe, Your Body Learns to Brace, With Juliette Karaman

• Juliette Karaman • Season 2 • Episode 35

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0:00 | 18:39

Welcome

Hello, lovelies. It's Juliette here.

If you feel nothing when your partner touches you, you are not cold and there is nothing wrong with you. This week Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Miami on rape and trafficking charges, which they deny, and which are not proven in court.

The Epstein files resurfaced. An old tape of a man bragging about grabbing women played again. 

While you read it, your body was not only reading headlines. It was gathering evidence about how safe it is to be a woman with a body. So it did the intelligent thing. It braced. A braced body cannot receive, however gentle the hand.

This episode is about what lives in the body when we watch this happen and the world shrugs, the manosphere machine that sells young men contempt as masculinity, the good men caught in the middle who genuinely want to help, and how a body that learned to brace comes back: through structure, on your terms, never by surprise.

Try tonight (women). Warm, Weight, Where. One hand on your own forearm. 

Notice the warmth where they meet, let the hand land with its full weight, name the exact edge where you feel it. Ninety seconds of coming back inside a touch that is yours.

Try this week (men). Before you touch her, ask, "Can I put my hand here?", and believe her answer.

If it is not now, let that be completely fine. No cost, no atmosphere. Ask, believe, no cost. Do it ten times.


📝 Episode Summary

In this powerful solo episode, Juliette Karaman explores how repeated exposure to stories of misogyny, violence, and abuse shapes the nervous system long before anything happens directly to us. While the world focuses on headlines, Juliette focuses on what the body remembers.

She explains how the nervous system quietly gathers evidence about safety, creating protective patterns that can leave women feeling numb, disconnected, or unable to receive touch, even from partners they deeply love.

Juliette also speaks directly to the good men who want to understand rather than guess, offering practical ways to rebuild emotional safety through consent, slowing down, and touch without expectation.

Through simple body-based exercises for both women and men, she demonstrates how small, intentional moments of attuned touch begin to unwind years of bracing, allowing connection, trust, and intimacy to return on your own terms.

Whether you're navigating emotional disconnection, rebuilding intimacy, or simply longing to feel at home in your own body again, this episode offers practical tools you can begin using today.


🔎 Key Takeaways

Your body remembers more than your mind.

The nervous system quietly gathers evidence about safety, shaping how open or guarded you feel in relationships.

Bracing is protection, not failure.

Feeling numb or disconnected during touch is often an intelligent protective response, not something that's broken.

Consent creates emotional safety.

Asking permission, believing the answer, and removing pressure allows trust to grow naturally.

Touch doesn't need an agenda.

When touch is offered without expectation or obligation, the body has space to soften and receive.Structure helps the nervous system relax.

Short, intentional touch practices with clear boundaries create the predictability that allows intimacy to rebuild.


Healing begins with small moments.

Returning to your body doesn't require grand gestures. It starts with noticing warmth, weight, presence, and choosing touch on your own terms.


🔗 Resources & Links





I'd love to hear from you drop me a text!

🔗 Resources & Links

Let’s keep the conversation going over on Instagram.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share your thoughts. I love hearing your stories. And remember, you are scrumptious just as you are, inside and out.

Find out more about Juliette Karaman here: https://feelfullyyou.com 

SPEAKER_00

Good morning, good evening, wherever you are. Today is something that's coming up in the world that I want to talk about. The model of men that taught your body how to brace. I want to talk about what may have happened in your body as you picked up your phone and looked at social media. Two of the most followed men on the planet were arrested this weekend, charged with rape, trafficking, child pornography. To deny it, and none of it is proven. And yet, while you may have been reading it, something in the background flickered up. The Epstein files, the names that were never quite said. A man who bragged on tape about grabbing woman by the pussy, calling it locker room talk, and then walked into the most powerful office in the world, Donald Trump. You scrolled past it, you made a coffee, you got on with your day, and your body kept the receipt. Here's what I've been seeing after 27 years of working with kids as a Saint-Claus special educational needs coordinator with couples, with women. None of this stays on the screen. It actually starts to gather in your body. It's gathering evidence about what kind of world it lives in, how careful your body needs to be, and how much it's allowed to relax. You read three or four headlines over breakfast or even when you're still in bed. Some of us do that. And your nervous system, your body, quietly files that as it's still not safe. The jaw that tenses, the throat that all of a sudden closes up. That's what I want to talk to you about today. Not the court cases, not what they have done, because I think there's been enough evidence there, but really what it does to a woman's body to live in the world where this still happens out loud, on repeat. And a lot of men that keep going. The motherless academy. And then also later on, I want to talk about the men who are in my DMs who are watching this with their heads in their hands and just not quite understanding how this works. Toxic masculinity. You know me. Julia, intimacy touch expert. I teach the touch reset for people who love someone and cannot find the door back in. And I've spent the past 27 or more years learning how the body holds what the mouth can't always say. The thing that I learned that nobody puts in the headlines is this. Your body's not neutral about the world. It's been taking notes your whole life. When people say don't be political, your body actually does take this on board. And it does this mostly without your permission. Your subconscious does it? And the sentence I hear from woman over and over and over and over again in a hundred different disguises is always the same underneath. I don't feel anything when he touches me anymore. And I don't know how to say it. Or it's just not quite landing the way it used to. Is my body wrong? Every one of these stories carries that message underneath it. Your no is negotiable. Your yes was never really required. Alex and I talked about it this weekend when we drew one of my cards. And we drew three cards. And the first one was tell me when it comes to sex, what's a hard no? That was really easy for both of us. We had exactly the same answer. And then tell me what was one of the most disastrous sex experiences you've had. And for both of us, it was some sort of withdrawing consent, which brought us on this whole new topic of these days. How Alex would talk to his son and how he said, you know, I talk to your sons, is when you get hot and heavy, you get into something. Actually, the moment that the woman withdraws her consent and you carry on, that is considered rape. Now he's a lawyer, so he knows all this stuff really well. For us, it drew open this whole beautiful way of really connecting of sayings like what we would teach our sons now is listen, when it gets hot and heavy, just add this little sentence into it before penetration, saying, Hey, do I have your consent that we are actually going to have intercourse or we're going to have sex, we're going to have penetrative sex? Because that way you ask for consent. And then the woman can also recognize where it's a no or a yes. Going back to your body and how it holds the score, it reads this pattern. It reads the pattern of the men in the manosphere, Trump, people in the Epstein files proclaiming out loud what they've done. And the world will find some kind of reason to let him carry on. The body doesn't math. Openness is a risk. Wanting is dangerous because wanting can be turned into a weapon and handed back to you. It braces. The tightness of the jaw, the throat. And not once, not only when something happens to you directly, and that's what I really wanted to speak about it. But it braces as a way of living. Your vigilance center is constantly up. A low, constant readiness that you stop being able to feel because it's alive. It's never once switched off. You call it being tired, having lots on your plate, and then the desire for actually being in connection with your husband, with your partner, with your loved one, with yourself, with your own body. That wanes. You're not only responding to your partner. He could be a gentle giant or a gentle, not so giant person. He could do everything right, but your body is still responding to the messages it gets on the internet, on the news, on looking across the street, and five men are approaching you. So you quickly change gear and go somewhere and go across the street. All of this is like, no, it's not safe. Don't you don't. So what your body has been reacting to has a name. It's called the Manosphere. It's not a mood, it's not a few loud idiots online, but it's a machine and it is very well built. Now here's how the machine works. It finds young men who are at their lowest, lonely, lost, aching to matter and certain that they don't matter. So they offer them care, but actually what they do is then that care turns into a target. It tells them the reason they feel powerless is woman. Woman's standards, your freedom, your no. It takes a vulnerable group, men and often young men, and points it like a gun at the nearest woman. It tells them that that is the cure. Dominance. Contempt dressed up as confidence. The idea that a real man takes and a real woman submits. And anything softer than that is weakness. Sandre Tate built a paid empire on exactly this. Teaching an enormous number of young men that women are property, that warmth is manipulation, that to be loved is to be controlled. Now he and his brother face some serious charges now. But this was his entire product. Sold openly, bought in staggering numbers. This toxic masculinity, and I said it twice now, but it doesn't mean that masculinity is toxic, but this poison that's being sold to men as masculinity, that is a toxic. That's a counterfeit, that's the fake news as Trump would call it. It teaches men that the tender parts of themselves are the enemy, that needing anyone else is humiliating. That the way to stop hurting is to make sure someone else hurts more. Doesn't only stop there. We've seen it. Mean girls, same thing. But here is what it does to women worldwide. Every time that one of these men rises or gets away with it, or turns his arrests into a marketing campaign about being the persecuted person. Our bodies get the memo again. We rebrace, we get a little bit more armor, a little bit further from home. Now you didn't choose this, but you absorbed it. And that's what living downstream from this machine does to a body, to a nervous system that just wants to be able to relax in its own skin. Stop it for a moment. What I get back, but this is not all men. It never was all men. And if you believe through this episode that it is, then I failed you. Because it is not all men. My DMs are full of men horrified by this. There are lots of men speaking out to this. And there's a man listening to this right now with his head in his hands. He loves a woman who's slowly gone quiet under him in his life. And he doesn't know why. He tries to be patient. He tried backing off. He tried the weekend away, the flowers, all the things, the date nights, etc., etc. etc. And he watched her perform. And he's grieving the relationship they had. He's terrified of being lumped in with the men in the headlines simply for wanting her, for wanting a physical sexual relationship with her. So he stopped reaching. And there are a lot of those in my DMs now. Two people in a bed, both lonely, both convinced that it's their fault. That's a father raising their son right now, swimming against this entire current, trying to show his boy that strength and gentleness are a good muscle to have. Well, there's this billion-dollar machine whispering the opposite into the boy's headphone every single night. And to layer on top of that, me as BDSM background, there actually is a little portion that people do love, a little bit of kink, but not this extremeness. We like men to hold us, to take care of it, to take control in a way that feels beautifully honored to us. A lot of women have this fantasy of being ravished. And this is where people take it to extremes and saying, hit her. You don't listen to me. You choke her. It's shocking to me to see this where BDSM is still practiced without consent. A whole new episode. Spontaneity. Everyone sells you this. Just, you know, it will come back. Yes, all of this. And it will never just come back. And you will never will just get the spark again unless you actually practice, unless you actually do something. The brace body needs structure, needs a time limit, needs a structured touch, needs to understand that by being physically touched, it can find its way back. And it doesn't always need to end in sex, in intercourse. That's the whole difference between the model of the men that made the news this week, Andrew Tate, and the work that I do. The consent, the knowing when we're taking from someone for our own pleasure, when we're giving. There are so many nuances in this. There are so many nuances with BDSM as well. But for me, the most important is the structure, the making sure that you make time for it for yourself, for each other. 15 minutes of the cards every week. Touch dates with yourself. Touch dates with each other with a time limit so that you know when it stops. Because it gives your nervous system the vigilance. It can that vigilance center can die down and it actually gives you something to hook into. This is what we do in the room with women. That's what we rewire in the room. We take a body that has learned that the world isn't safe for her, and we teach it on your terms that this touch right here is different, that your no holds, that your yes is required, that you're allowed to be all the way home or touch and nothing will be taken when you check out, when you start to think about other things. So I want to give you something for today. For the woman listening, it's cold warm weight and where? Put one hand on your forearm before you move it. Notice three things slowly. Warmth. Is the hand warmer than the skin underneath? Or cooler? Just the temperature where they meet. And then the weight. What does that weight feel when you actually stop hovering and let it land? Where? Can you name the edge of it? Can you feel where it stops? Is it more weight in the middle, more weight on the sides? Or just creating language for this? Now what you've just done for yourself is given yourself a touch that no one is taking from you. No one's asking anything from you. You gave it to yourself on your own terms. That's the muscle we so quickly put on hand cream. But what if we could actually take a bit more care with it and really recognize what we're doing? And for the man who's listening and wants to do different, your practice this week is one sentence. And it can almost feel too small. Before you touch her, ask, may I put my hand here? And then that's the part that changes everything. Believe her answer. If it's yes, stay there slow enough that she can feel you arrive. She can feel your presence. Again, 90 seconds maximum. Nothing else required from there. Ground yourself beforehand. Make sure that you don't f want something back in return. But just put your hand on her back. Ask, may I may I put my hand on your small of your back? And also give it to her 90 seconds, nothing else. And just see if she can receive. I'm running for woman a free masterclass called Be Touch. It's exactly this in full. Why your body braced, what it's been protecting you from all these years. And the first real steps to feeling yourself again on your terms in a body that is allowed to be yours. If you're a woman who read the news this week and felt that old familiar shutdown, the quiet going somewhere else, this room is built for you. Come, it's free. Look in the link for the Be Touched registration. And for the man who made it all the way to the end, who wants to learn about her and instead of guessing, your door is either the guide when she's gone quiet. And when you've read that, you probably also want to do the touch reset quiz. It shows you where you may be bracing, what state you're in, and then get your partner to do it. And then you'll start seeing where you actually may not be speaking the same language. Now the world this week. Again, spend some time reminding women in public that we don't matter. Although with that arrest, we are now on a holding pattern thinking, like, are they gonna get away with it as well? Let me be the voice that says the other thing clearly. And let me say it to every good man listening to, because you need to hear it as much as she does. You matter. You know matters. Your body was always yours. It braced. Not because you're broken, not because you need to be fixed, but because you're running a pattern, and patterns can be changed.

Head Shot

Juliette Karaman

Host