A Mother’s Mission for Military Mental Health Support

In this inspiring episode, Millionaire Williams, author of 'Military Mom on a Mission', shares her poignant journey of supporting her son through PTSD and severe mental health challenges following his return from the Iraq war. Millionaire discusses the unexpected path that led her to become a mental health advocate, highlighting the importance of family support and creating awareness about PTSD. The conversation touches on her efforts to navigate the healthcare system, her determination to educate herself in psychology, and her advocacy work to change mental health laws. Millionaire also reveals her methods for self-care and balancing her roles as a caregiver and professional. The episode concludes with Millionaire's future vision for expanding her advocacy through a Congressional initiative and potential film adaptations, accentuating her mission to transform personal pain into purpose.

BIO: 

Million Heir-Williams grew up in Long Island, NY. At the age of twenty, she moved to Los Angeles, California.  She worked for Kaiser Hospital for twenty-six years in management.  In 2004, she moved to Onslow County, where she served as Onslow County Commissioner and Vice President of the Jacksonville-Onslow Chamber of Commerce. Governor Pat McCrory appointed her to serve on the Board of Directors for the North Carolina Council for Women. She and her husband had a house built in Texas, where they reside.

Heir-Williams is a Certified Life Growth and Mental Health Coach and is the President/CEO of Effectual Life Coaching Enterprises. She has a proven track record in establishing successful, equitable relationships with everyone involved. 

Heir-Williams has many organizations that she is affiliated with, such as the American Psychological Association, Fellow of the North Carolina Institute of Political Leadership, Society for Collegiate Leadership & Achievement, Worldwide Association of Female Professionals, American Association of Christian Counselors, Citizens Commission on Human Rights International and the Honor Society.

RESOURCES/ REFERENCES:

Military Mom on a Mission

Million's Books

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(Note: For listeners who may be struggling with mental health issues or suicidal thoughts, please seek professional help or reach out to a mental health support helpline in your country.)

Transcript

 we've all met that person who just exudes positivity and energy and doesn't let life's bumps bring them down. That is today's guest, Millionaire Williams, who is the author of Military Mom on a Mission. 

she shares today. Her personal story of loving a son who was plagued with PTSD and other more significant health care challenges when he returned from the Iraqi war and how she used that as a platform to help other families who are in similar situations.

I hope you enjoy today's episode and if you do, please subscribe and share with all of your friends. 

Good morning, Million.

Good morning, Andrea. How are you?

Good. I have been waiting for months for this talk with you

Yes.

because I know it's going to be entertaining.

If, if anything, it's going to be entertaining.

To say the least.

Well, let me introduce you real quick. Um, after an impressive career at Kaiser Hospital, Million was appointed by Governor Pat McCrory to serve on the Board of Directors for the North Carolina Council for Women. She's a certified life and mental health coach and is passionate in her work with the American Psychological Association Citizens Commission on Human Rights International and fellow of the North Carolina Institute of Political Leadership, to just name a few. In addition, her resume is as long as her personality is big. What caught my attention with, um, Millian is she is the author of the best selling book Military Mom on a Mission, an Advocate for Mental Health. So Millian, that is what caught my attention and I want to start with that.

Got

want to start with how you got there first and then I want to talk about the book.

Absolutely.

So tell me a little bit about what prompted you to write this book.

for years, I kind of felt that I would probably write a book one day.

You know. Um, but sometimes life has a way of speeding up your process to help you engage a little bit sooner than what you may have had a date and set time for. And with that being said, um, my son had joined the military. 

we were from L. A. at the time, going to a family reunion we flew into Virginia Beach, where my sister lived at the time, and her sons. So, the idea was, we'll fly into Virginia Beach, Take two vehicles.

Take the kids. They can follow us and we'll have fun along the route going to North Carolina. Well, unbeknownst to my sister and myself, my son had gone along with his cousins who had already joined the military prior to us arriving.

And they joined the Marine Corps, which she was very disturbed because she served in the Air Force for 22 years. So, you know, that rivalry already, yeah, it always exists in families, that particular dynamic. And so, um, they talked my son into going down to the recruiter's office. And he was 23 at the time, so he didn't need his mom's signature.

So you know where I'm going with that story.

a second. You weren't even in California. You were in

were on a vacation. Yeah, yeah. With Yeah, with his round trip ticket and no one sitting in his seat coming back home. And yeah, yeah. So this was all a total shock.

Yeah,

He was working in Los Angeles on Wilshire Boulevard, one of the busiest known spaces in Los Angeles, and he was working in sales doing very well.

Go figure. Well, anyway, um, Move the story along. He joins. So they come back to the house. Oh, mom, guess what I did? Oh, we under the buddy pass. And I'm like, buddy, what are you talking about? Mom, I'm gonna be a marine like my cousins were going together. I sat there and I thought they would just joking around with my sister and I.

 He winds up staying there. I guess, real security for me at that point was we were not in active war at the time when he joined. So I was like, okay, you know, in this country had not been in war in God knows how many years.

So that never, but 9 11 happens. The world, the narrative changes. Um, he was stationed deployed, should I say, deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan for nine months. So that was a very troublesome time

Yeah,

knowing he had to be there. And he got back. We had a huge celebration in California because that's where he grew up, all his friends.

Mm hmm.

And, um, I walked into the restroom. And my girlfriend comes in the restroom. We're talking and she says to me million. Have you taken a look at Jerome's eyes? And I'm like, What do you mean? Have I taken a look at my son's eyes? My son is home from war. He's here with all his body parts. You know, he's here.

Oh, my God. And she says, No, I need you to stop a moment. Stop being million and look into your son's eyes and tell me what you see. And she was very adamant about it. She's an RN. So, you know, she's got some backdrop there. So I said, Oh, okay. I walk out. So, and I always have called my son champion. So I said, champion, give mom another hug.

I'm just so glad you're home. And I looked into his eyes with intention, intentional look. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't even know who this person is. It was like somebody. Took a stake and just shoved it through my heart because I'm like, how did I miss all of this? How did I not see my son suffering in some way and suffering in a way?

I knew nothing about

Well, that's what I was just going to say. It's probably because it was foreign to you. And like you said, you were focused on his physical being because that's what we imagined to change, right? Not what's inside. Oh, that must have been devastating.

it was it was and you know It just became horrible Scenario of life to have to endure for anyone to have to see your loved one become somebody That they weren't

What were some of the things that you saw?

When I looked into his eyes, there was this stare that, okay, physically, this is my son. But you know, the cliche, looking into someone's eyes, the window of their soul. Looking in his eyes, I didn't know who this person was. It felt very foreign to me. It felt like, I'm not sure. This looks like my son. And so.

And I had to put on this facade because all these people here at a jovial time, we're at a restaurant, we're all having fun. Everybody's glad to see him. And, but I had this dark cloud that hovered over my head as I stood there still trying to process and then also trying to maintain, you know, the jovial type of expectation for that dynamic that's happening.

And so, you know, yeah, It

You know, you know, Million, I don't think I have ever really thought. However, as parents of a child of any age or any, any loved one, quite frankly, you don't even have to be a parent of somebody who is struggling with their mental health. There are so many times that you have to put on that face and you are someone you're really not and you're crying inside and you're lost and scared and you're trying to just, you Move through life.

I would imagine that's true for anybody that even has somebody who's suffering physically. I'm I haven't luckily had To experience that but I mean that's it. It's a tough position to be in

Yes.

when you are so acutely aware that they're struggling Mm hmm,

don't have the skill set to really help them navigate life because you're struggling in the sense that you don't know what to do. And, where do you go? And, you know, 9 11 happened many years ago. So, at that time PTSD wasn't even getting the, you know, awareness that we share now, you know, it's a household name.

Most people know they've heard of PTSD. They, they had, they know enough to know that has something to do with mental health challenges. They may not know that it's post traumatic stress disorder, that that's what the acronym stands for, but they certainly have heard PTSD. so he comes home and and you're detecting something and you figure out it's PTSD, then, then what happens?

And really at that time, I didn't even know it was PTSD. So what winds up happening, okay, because we're here in Los Angeles doing this big party, we got to go back to North Carolina, okay, where the base is, where he's stationed, and where I'm now living. And so when we got back, I immediately, I went over to the general's office, because I'm going to start at the top.

I'm not one of those ones that waste the time. I'm not, if you're not a decision maker, I'm but you can't help me because you're going to still have to go up and talk to somebody else. But the general was actually over in Iraq at that time. So I didn't get to see him. So I'm going down the chain and, and I'm telling them, look, something's wrong with my son.

They didn't even detect it at that time. Again, like I said, PTSD, I brought that to their attention only because my best girlfriend, she's a nurse and she's the one that gave me the turn. So they didn't even understand what was going on with him. Well, move the story along six weeks after he gets out of the military.

He has a full mental breakdown

Wow.

full on. I mean, running through the house like a mad man,

Oh,

right? I mean, I've never saw this behavior.

Was he living with you at the time? Okay,

So my husband and I, we wind up calling the cops and here I am, um, I've never called the cops on any of my Children and never thought that I ever would. But then I'm like, he's not a criminal.

But what do I do? I don't know what to do. You're just lost. So when the cops came in, because it's a military town, everybody understands this, you know? And so there were two cops. One was a female. The other one's a male. And so when they got there, he was sitting out on the porch, he had calmed down, you know, my husband and I were standing outside talking with him and, um, they walked up and, you know, I had given all the information when we called.

So they were prepared to know, you know, he's, you know, military. And so I spoke to the female first and, you know, I gave her the backdrop and she says, I understand what you're going through. And I'm looking at this woman like, you're, you're a cock. How do you understand what we're going through with a woman?

She's like, my husband, he's been in the military for 15 years. He's been deployed four times. We have children at home. And every time he gets back from deployment, we go through all of this. And I was like, Oh my God. You know, My son is not married, no children. But I'm thinking, my God, how do you have this going on with small Children for them to have to now see this and deal with it?

I was like feeling worse for her than what I was even dealing with my son. So they told us, you know, one or two things. We can take him over to get him evaluated, but if we do, we'll have to put him in handcuffs.

And I'm like, no, you're not putting my son in handcuffs. He's not a criminal.

Right.

do you feel safe enough for him to drive? We'll drive in front of you. You can follow us. I said, yeah, he's, he's okay now. So we got him over there. My husband and I and one of my cousins, she came over to just lend some support.

We're there for five hours sitting, waiting. The doctor comes out. Oh, your son has PTSD, bipolar, schizophrenia, and severe psychosis. And I'm like,

Where did all of that come from? That's a lot to hear

at one time.

at one time.

And I said to him, are you a robot or something? Are you human? I said, how dare you come out to me? We've been sitting here five and a half hours. You've been evaluating my son and you come out here like you're reading off a menu. This is a human being you're talking about. This is a family you're talking about who loves their loved one.

That's in there with you. How dare you? I felt like I was in the ring just getting knocked out each time and had to go back up.

Yeah. No. So do they think that 

being in the military and what he saw in the military and the PTSD then triggered the other diagnoses that he got.

Exact. That's exactly what happened. And you know, with a trauma. Oh, and then the other thing that I learned, I'll give you this note. I, at the time I was going back to school to get my degree in entrepreneurism. However, when this happened, I changed my major to psychology.

So I could even just clearly come alongside my son to help navigate. The human mind and how things get tripped up and what's going on and the triggers that'll cause this to happen. I just kept delving in like, how do I help him? As his mom, but yet get all the information that I can learn about these disorders And learn a new narrative because i'm telling you you then also have to become a different person Because you're dealing with a different person that looks the same and is my son, but not my son. So

hard too because he was still young, but he was an adult. So you had had 20 plus years of this person.

Yes.

And then with really, even though he was away from the military, it was more like a flip of a light switch that all of a sudden he is a different person. And to be able to not only deal with his illnesses, but also to deal with some of the emotions that you had coming through all of that, you know, the sense of loss, sense of grief, sense of all of that.

Boy, what a lot

Oh, yeah, and the thing about it I learned in psychology That I'm labeled as secondary trauma because of his trauma.

Yeah, that makes

Yeah. And you know, but taking psychology really helped me become grounded. It really helped me start understanding about the chemical imbalances in the human brain.

hmm. Mm

And, um, I knew that I had to learn techniques

hmm.

and dialogue that was completely different.

It was almost like learning a new language, being in a new country, learning new traditions and new cultures and how you talk to this person versus that person.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And because those diagnoses that he had were pretty, or has, were very severe. It's not just dealing with generalized anxiety disorder where you're, you know, but those are real

heavy duties. Yeah. I mean, and so I had to read up on each of them.

Yeah.

And then not to mention now the medication that goes along with it.

Mm hmm.

Um, one thing about it, that was the best advantage that I had as his mom. We had always had a loving, trusting relationship before all this happened.

So because of that, Jerome gave me power of attorney over his finances as well as his medical decisions. So therefore it gave me a voice. Every appointment he had, I was sitting right there in the doctor's office. You know, when they give him a new med, I'm like, okay, we're going to try this. I'm going to do my research on it.

And if this medication doesn't work, we're trying something else. Because there was one point, one of the meds he was on, he just started drooling. I mean, it was like, you're turning my son into something that you're not going to do. I recognize we've got this illness and we're trying to figure things out, but I'm going to tell you what you're not going to do is cause my son to be.

dysfunctional more than what he needs to be. We're not

him to still live. You want him to still have a life.

He's too young to have to deal with this, where he's out of his mind, where he can't even function. And I'm like, this is not my son, because his personality before this, he was the jokester in the family. He's the one that always had everybody laughing.

So to see him go from this,

Yeah. No. Mm hmm.

we're not doing it. So he was on about 17 different medications going through all and then each medication having its different effects on gaining weight doing the I mean it was just when I tell you it was this maze that kept turning jumping I mean and then I'm married I'm working it was I don't even know how I still have my brain cells functioning to be honest with you I'm

I know. Well, like you said, secondary trauma, right? I want to take us back because you said something I don't even know if you realized how Important what you just what you said was you said we had a loving trusting relationship before this So it allowed me to be his power of attorney. I think as parents of young children We forget, sometimes, that when they turn 18, we no longer have access to help them like we did

don't no you don't

you don't know what will happen when they become adults,

You

and thank God, thank God you had that relationship with him, that trust, right? And even if he wasn't. You know, mentally stable at the time, he still, you had that trust and you were able to get that. And what a blessing. What a blessing to you both.

Let me tell you, had he not signed those documents at the time where I would be able to intercept and challenge his doctors, because I'm going to tell you, a lot of the doctors are so overwhelmed and I get that. You know, they're just writing a prescription. and going on to the next patient. I get I worked in health care for 26 years.

I understand the dynamic of the beast after a while. You know, it just comes with the territory. So it's not to blame a doctor or physician. And that's what they're taught and trained in medical school. They're doing what they were taught to do. But I had to become my son's voice. I had to become his advocate.

And I will say this as the most important thing that I can give to anyone that would hear this. If your child or your loved one, or you're struggling with mental health challenges, you need to have someone in the family that, that trust is there before things get really bad in your illness, because you never know what tomorrow may bring.

You never know what may trigger you into a psychotic stage at any time. Any point in time, have them sign that off because I'm telling you, like you said, there are 18, you, and if the child says, well, I don't want my mother in the room, you can't go in there.

Right.

I don't want my mom making decisions for my, there's nothing you can do.

And I'm telling you, I thank God that I didn't have that hope. That level of hopelessness had enough of it. But to not have any controls in being having the ability to manage some of that when you saw things going wrong. And my son will tell you if it wasn't for my mom, he said this many times, I would be dead.

And I just know that there's no way I would be alive today to talk about this to anyone. And when it's one of my loved ones and someone that I care about, I'll go to hell and back fighting for them on their behalf. It doesn't matter. So, you know, I was never going to give up on my son, no matter how bad things looked, no matter how bad things they felt.

No, he's a person that came out of my womb that God gave me. And that is part of my DNA. And it's the same thing. Like I've told people over the years, I said, if your son had cancer. You're just going to throw them out? I don't think so.

Right.

You need to figure it out. You know, and I know everybody doesn't have the capacity that God has given me and I get that.

But I told this one mother, I said, well, you better pray for some capacity then. Okay. Because this is not something that your loved one wants.

No,

know, these chemical imbalances happen in the brain. And until you understand the functionality of how all of that works in there, You know, you see this outer shell of a human being that you wake up to, you go and put your makeup on, you go wash up, you go take a shower, you get dressed, but we're never thinking about, okay, right now as I'm talking to you, my heart is beating, the blood is pumping down to my feet, coming back up, my lungs, my respiratory, my nervous system, all of these different systems in your body are functioning without you doing anything.

So,

it's good. Yeah.

I had to learn the functionality, how all these parts function in there, you know, and just help him as much as I could because I'm telling you my son, I know he wouldn't be here today if I didn't take the steps that I did in the bowl steps. I even got my congressman involved when this first happened.

I wrote letters to the Naval Board of Corrections. I wrote a letter to the V. A. Administration. I got my congressman involved. My mayor involved honey, everybody on the East Coast. Knew that million was like, oh God, here she comes. Mm-Hmm.

Two things. First on that. Thank you. I had a girlfriend who saw, who's, excuse me, husband was in the military and he was struggling with PTSD. Yes, he was going to see a therapist, but he wasn't getting any better. because his therapist didn't have the clearance that she needed in order to help him be able to express what was going on.

Now, this was several years ago. I don't know where it stands today, but I remember thinking to myself, that is tragic.

yes,

That is tragic. There's got to be a way that they have therapists or doctors that can get that clearance so that these people can get some relief.

yes.

thing that you had said, That I think is, is so important for people that haven't experienced somebody that has challenges with their mental health is that they don't want to be like that.

And if they're acting in some sort of way, they're not doing it intentionally.

Right? Exactly.

We had a, um, one of our very, very, very first guests. She has, um, a young, a young boy now he's probably 13 or 12 or whatever, but, um, she playing ball with him on, on their, um, driveway. And he cursed at her and he was probably six or seven and he had a meltdown and just cursed at her.

And somebody walked by and said, great parenting. And she's like, Whoa. And that stuff sits with you, especially as a new parent, those comments sit with you and all of a sudden you're like, it is a reflection of you.

Mm-Hmm.

But her son wasn't a bad boy. She wasn't a bad parent. This is no different than having a broken arm or a broken leg.

It's just something isn't healed.

Yes. And I know when my son. First got diagnosed with this. I told him, I said, champion, I'm going to tell you what we're not going to do. Soon as we had the liberty to go into the room after I said, let me tell you something. What we're not going to do is have this become a stigma for your life. What we're not going to do is have you walk around feeling sorry for yourself.

We're not going to do that. What we're not going to do is have you out here thinking that you can't receive help. I went down a whole list

Mm hmm.

and he hugged me and he said, Mom, thank you. And the tears just poured.

Sure.

We're not, we're not going to walk into this like regular people do. I said, because you have a warrior number one as a mother

Mm hmm.

and number two, I love you and you're not a criminal.

Okay. So we're not going to do the stigmatized look and feelings. And I know All of that also helped propped my son up for a successful journey in have we had some pitfalls? you know, we've had some up and downs where he's gotten off his meds because that's a whole huge situation and um, that did not come out well and um,

 what happened because he stopped taking his meds nine years, he was doing very well, living on his own, driving, having therapy three, four times a week. He was doing so well that, um, his doctors, um, they recommend that he go to become a peer specialist.

Go for the training. got a certificate. So he was, um, navigating along with his therapist, with other veterans facilitating, doing that well. And, um, he was doing voiceovers. He's got a really deep voice. And so he was getting in the gel of, you know, things he'd like to do, what he wanted to do.

And, um, He calls me one day because we'd speak three four times a day sometimes because I always like have to make sure

Once a mom, always a mom.

Girl i'm telling you so i'm like he calls me one day. He says mom You never what never believe something that i'm like what and i'm thinking he's like mom I forgot to take my meds for a couple of days.

I'm like, oh, no jerome. That's not a good. No, why are you acting like? I'm thinking you're telling me some great new that no, no I don't

That's not good. Right.

He's like, but mom, you just don't understand. I don't feel lethargic and I feel so much better. I fit. And I'm like, okay, champion, I hear you. And you're right. I don't understand because I don't take these meds.

You're right. And I'm not going to dismiss any of your feelings. But what I do know is that you've been living a great life for the past nine to 10 years, living on your own, managing your life, doing what you do. I said what I would suggest and recommend highly recommend is that you call your doctor Ask them to possibly change your meds Or reduce the dosage, but you're on some heavy meds and you should not just go off You can't do this cold turkey that you're gonna have repercussions that you don't want to have to deal He's like mom.

Yeah, but you just don't understand. I said, okay I don't understand but It's okay that I don't understand, but I'm also giving you a recommendation with my understanding self. Okay, so I will accept that. However, this may not end well. And let me tell you, we went down the hill. He got so bad. I'm here in Texas. He's there in California and I flew out of here probably five or six times during this episode that he had not taken his meds, calling the VA to try to get them to come take him. He got to the point he's walking the streets of Woodland Hills in his underwear.

That's how bad things got.

Yeah.

And that had never happened before. So, I have gone through the, when I tell you the entire spectrum when it comes to what mental health unwellness looks like, I have lived through it all, but

Let me ask you

yes darling,

That is a lot

oh,

any parent, especially one that is so involved, because you can tell how involved you are with your son. You can't love him to pieces. What are you doing for yourself during this time? How are you taking care of Million

oh,

that you're okay?

oh, number one, my husband will tell you if he was here with me, My wife is going to sleep every night at nine o'clock, whether she leaves me here out in this living room or do what I do. But that woman there is going to get her rest.

Good

that's the one thing I will tell any parent. And, you know, I tell people I'm 68 years young.

However,

You're 68. You look, you look like you're my age.

And how old are you?

girl. Well,

Girl, if I'm telling, if I'm telling 68,

I know. I'm 53. I'm

well, come on in, girl. It's good over here, darling. It's

When I'm, when I'm 68, I hope I'm looking

Oh, you will. Oh, you will.but let me tell you, number one, my sleep is paramount.

Good.

The thing about sleep,

 if you're just going to sleep and you're just laying there, but your brain is just won't stop, you're not getting your proper rest. You're laying down. Um, But your body is not getting replenished. Those cells cannot rejuvenate with that much stress.Well, you know, I can tell you, sometimes that is really hard to do, especially when things are so stressful. But I know from personal experience when I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't, I wasn't able to be there. I wasn't able to hold a thought really. But, so I, I agree with you 100%. But I also will say it's hard to be able to get there to do that and find that piece. Okay, so we got sleep. What else

sleep, you have to take the, take care of the physical needs of your body as well. You have to, when you're under this much stress, you have to ensure, because you as a caregiver, it goes back to, you know, the whole thing about the airline industry.

They tell you. You have a child with you. Mask yourself first, then the child, because if you don't, both of you are going to be gone. Okay. So that whole philosophy is also with caregiving. You have to ensure that you're still taking care of yourself. And because I became a licensed, um, a certified life and mental health coach, I know all types of techniques that I teach my own clients.

Mindfulness. the mind has a mind of its own, whether you want to accept that or not thoughts come in, you have no control of those thoughts.

 So each saturday morning I have three people that I take care of me, myself and I, all three of us.

I have one of those beautiful garden tubs. I have a whole elaborate setting that I go through with my candles. Oh my God, I sit there, I have on my rack there. I've got my cherries, my grapes. I may have a glass of wine. I may have a cup of coffee. I may have tea, have water, some crackers,

And my husband knows he doesn't even go in there because that is my time where I get away from the world. I just lay back and relax and listen to mindfulness music. I do relaxation techniques where I breathe in each morning, hold that breath for four to five, six seconds.

So when I tell you I love me, myself and I, and take care of this one. Oh yeah. Yeah. Might as well tell you. Oh no, million is going to take care of million. Okay.

But it's a hard thing as people who are people, people, right? To put yourself first,

especially as a mom, because that nurturing component is,

and I would tell you, I would, when I would get into stressful situations, I wanted to help the other.

yeah,

And I would put so much energy that way and it wasn't until I took some of that energy and said, okay, I don't need to feel guilty for using some of this energy to take care of me. And once I started to do that. That was when I was able to be able to be a better caregiver for them. And that, honestly, you know, I, I think that sometimes people think that self care is this huge experience. There were some days that it was a 10 minute walk for myself. I'm like, okay, you know what? I need something.

yes,

And, um, and it just had to be, and then other days it was a, a, a more elaborate experience for myself.

But yeah, I take care of those three people. My husband is, oh no, my wife, she's into her zone. Mm hmm. No one's talking. No one, you don't even go nowhere near. And, and yeah, because I know at the capacity and the level that I live every day, I put out more energy and extend more energy than the average human being.

I know that people say to me, Amelia, how do you do so much of all of what you're doing? I have like a four, about four or five different operations right now that I'm doing. And Each one is void of each other. They're not even commingled. I mean, you know, I've got a program, a national program that I'm two national programs that I've already put together.

One is with the law enforcement and first responders that I'm working with the sheriff here and the chief of police here that I've done in North Carolina, California and doing it here. That's one platform. The book. Well, I've written a few books, but I have another national program. I'm running mental health coalition for women and families.

I have an anthology. I've opened up my own publishing. So I'm

was that in your bio? I didn't have that in your bio.

I haven't,

Too long to write in the bio?

yeah. But I will tell you this and this, and then the other thing that I did, right. So this is my book when I first wrote the mental, uh, military mom and a mission and advocate for mental health. Right. Okay. I had to go a step further.

 now I'm I have the book in Spanish. So we're going to be releasing that. Yes. I don't stop. Girl, please. I'm just all over the planet.

So something else that, that I see with you.

Mm

is that you are a doer. I don't think that's any, any surprise to anyone out there. I went to a talk, um, several months ago and it was this woman talking about, um, being a doer and doing good and she had said there is PTSD, post traumatic stress syndrome, and then there's also PT, post traumatic growth, PTG, post traumatic growth, and that is for the people that take those stressful situations.

and turn them into good and to purpose. And I started to do some research on that and I think I'm one of those people too. It's like, okay, I've got this experience and not only are you helping how many other people out there, you're also helping yourself.

that is profound. O M G. Oh my,

Look it up. It's a, it's amazing. And it's such a great way.

Oh my God. That is really who I am. I have always turned pain into purpose. No matter what it is. No matter, I just don't even care. It doesn't matter. It's, it doesn't, Oh my God. That. Look, this is what I've just put together.

We can't see it. Lift it up.

Oh,

Okay. A calendar for those only listening, it's scooted over just a little bit because I could only see mental health. Whoops. Other

Oh, other way.

Other way. Mental health coalition for women breaking the silence 2025. So tell us about the mental health coalition for women.

Yeah. So what this is, is an anthology. I have put together a book where each author. Well, let me give you a little tidbit. For years when this situation happened with Jerome, I kept saying, 

because political arena and mandate is all my life, right? I would say to my husband and different people throughout, The past 20 years or so after this initially happened, drill, I said, oh, you know, I've gotta get to Congress and help change some of these laws that govern, you know, mental health in our country.

Because, you know, people just don't know and see the thing about it, anyone in your family can be susceptible to a mental health breakdown at any time.

Hmm.

So one day my husband and I was sitting down having breakfast and he says to you know, a million. I know for years you've been talking about you're going to go to Congress and help change the laws at governmental health.

He said, and you know, we already know you can do that with no problem. And, um, he said, but I'm going to offer you a suggestion. I'm like, Oh, okay. What's that? He's like, wouldn't it be much more impactful? If you had a team of mothers or women who went with you and I was like, Oh my God, you just gave me a phenomenal idea that let me tell you, I'm like, husband, I don't even know if you realize what you just said or did to me because

open the gates.

let me tell you, and the Learjet is off the tarmac.

Okay. I sat one day just really kind of. Um, trying that on and thinking about it and I'm like, okay, I need to have a title to kind of explain what that looks like. So that's when Mental Health Coalition for Women and Families came about. And I'm like, Oh my God, wouldn't it be amazing to have a minimum of 50 women from representing each state of the United States of America.

So we go to Congress, there's a voice representative of each state. And I'm like, okay, well, how do I put that medium together? What does that look like? What? So my brain, and once I get an idea, it just, it floods the gates just like take over. So the next thought was write a book, invite the 50 authors, have them each write a chapter in the book and charge them for it.

So anyway, anyway, so I'm sitting there and the other thought comes, okay, let me start calling some people that I know, some of their family members, they've dealt with some challenges and all.

So there's one particular friend of mine, a girlfriend that lives in California. I knew her son was in the Navy. He got out and she was having, you know, some challenges with him. We talk every now and then. So I called him one day and I was like, Pam, I got a question to ask you. I'm like, gave her the backdrop, you know, what I just explained to you.

I said, would you be interested in writing a chapter in a book if I could get like 50 women? She says, oh yes, a million. I even have a couple of other girlfriends. Their sons are dealing, they're in the military now. And she just, that's where it started from. Oh,

So what's, what's your end goal with that?

let me tell you, and I've got to, I've got to email you the scope of the project. So the bottom line is, um. You, you've heard, and I think I may have shared this with you, salt and pepper back in the day. Push it, push it real

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So years back, I had gone to a three day conference 

There was breakout sessions for different workshops you could attend. So there was one about completing your book or something. So at that time I hadn't even written a book. I was, no, I think I probably had just started it. So I'm like, Oh, okay. Yeah, I definitely need to sign up for this.

So I was like the first one that got in the room and this workshop and as I'm sitting and I sat in the second row and then in walks salt from salt and pepper with two other women. And so Because my brain is always rolling. So at the end of the session, of course, the, you know, facilitator, she's like, do any of you have any questions or comments or concerns, anything, you know, I didn't cover that.

Maybe you still would like some answers to if you're, you know, starting to write a book. And my hand immediately went up, of course. So I'm telling the story and you know about the book. And the woman says, million stop talking. I'm like, Oh, okay, sure. No problem. She says, I would like everyone in here to get up and stand up and pray and put their arm towards you.

And we're going to pray for you. And I'm like, Oh, okay. So I'm praying and tears are starting to fall down. So, um, at that point, salt turns around and my eyes are closed. I didn't know who it was, but she grabbed my hands really tight. And after the prayer was over, she says to me, I would like to write the forward on your book.

So I bust out crying 50 more million Niagara Falls. I'm like, Oh my God, this isn't happening. You gotta be, this is, this is not real. Move the story forward. Her sister that was there with her and her publicist was there with her. The sister's son suffers with mental health challenges. So she was like, even during my career, getting a Grammy traveling all over the world, We were dealing with some things in our own family.

And so

No one is immune to it.

That's what I tell you. You just never know who's been struck with this, you know at any given point in time Long story short the publicist we exchanged name number, you know information email so Of course, I was still like at the beginning of the book.

So it's going to take me a while, you know to complete it You So make a long story short here, the publicist is no longer working for us. So I sending emails, no response. You know, she would always respond and I every now and every three or four months, I'd make sure that I would just reach out to achieve response.

So at a point when I was like, ready for her to do the forward, I get no response and I didn't have salts numbers. So I'm like, Oh my God, well, me and my crazy. So my daughter, she's in Vegas. My sister go, we're in Vegas. Salt N Pepa were performing and some other artists. Let me tell you, I told my sister, I'm going down there to the stage, and Salt is coming off that stage.

She says, Million. I said, No, no, no. I know what I'm going to do, or either I'm going to go up on the stage and get her attention. So they're like, Million, you need to stop. I said, Oh, please, you already know who I am. I'm just telling you guys so you know this is where I'm going. So, Salt N Pepa. At the end of their performance, I'm down at the end of the stage and I'm yelling, Saul, Saul, it's Million.

I need you to come down. She comes down off the stage.

She did.

She did. And I said to her, Oh my God, I had to write my book without you doing the forward. She said, Oh, Million, I'm so sorry. That publicist, I no longer have. I said, well, let me tell you something right now. What you're going to do, young lady, you're Because I took my phone.

I said you put your cell number in here. I don't want to go through your people anymore I can't do this. No, she did

Well, maybe she can write the foreword for this book.

She did

Oh, she did?

she did already. She's my national brand ambassador

Oh, that's

have a whole oh my god, when you see the social media that's getting ready to hit yeah, it's everything has just We I have to get on for the next book But anyway, and i'm gonna leave you with this, but I hired a literary coach Oh, I hired a literary agent, right?

She

a picture for those. Just listening.

called me just yesterday. They have put together book coverage for potential film adaptation. Because I've always said, I know that this is a film. I know it. On my vision board in my office, It's up there with a picture of me in the director's chair with this book cover. Yes. Yes. So, and the thing about it with, that's the first book film, right?

Military Mom and a Mission. But with the, um, Mental Health Women's Coalition, I want that to be a docu series on Netflix. So, each chapter shares that different traumatic story of each woman sharing. And then We're going to Congress, and we're going to sit down, and we're going to have a nice, healthy narrative about what needs to happen.

So I know whoever president at that time, they'll be putting me on the commission because they won't have a choice. But, so, I just put it out there. I tell people, this is what I need you to do, and it happens, and I keep it moving.

you, you keep, you keep preaching the good word

oh, I have to.

it, you know, one pain, turning pain to purpose. You need to do it for your boy and you need to do it for really the rest of the world because mental health is something that needs more exposure. Thank you so much million. I knew I would love my call with you.