Before You Go - Is Your Family Ready for This Move?

Transitioning to a new church position impacts more than just the minister; it affects the entire family. The episode explores the critical questions pastors should consider regarding their family's readiness, emphasizing the importance of open communication, emotional support, and financial considerations. 

• Evaluating spousal perspectives before making a move 
• Considering the emotional impact on children during transitions 
• Assessing the availability of support systems in the new area 
• Importance of financial stability for family well-being 
• Allowing time for families to process the idea of moving 
• Engaging in open discussions to align family interests and concerns

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Transcript

Family Readiness in Ministry Transitions

Speaker 1 0:00

Hey there , welcome to the Healthy Church Staff podcast . My name's Todd Rhodes . I am your host and also one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom . Is your family ready for you to take a new ministry position ? Today we're often focusing , or we're focusing on , an often overlooked question in ministry transitions . I know we think about it , but do we think about it hard enough ? Is your family ready for a move , particularly if it's a big geographic move ? Is your family ready for it ?

Speaker 1 0:31

We're in the middle of a series we're two weeks in . We've got one more week next week where we're talking about questions that every pastor should ask when they're in transition , when they're leaving a church . Maybe you're leaving your church and you're thinking about going to another church . What are some of the questions you should ask before you make that decision ? And our series is based on a book called Before you Go Questions Every Pastor Must Ask Before Moving to a New Church . It's written by Wade Hodges . It's an excellent book . Stick around until the end of today and I will tell you how to get an absolutely free copy if you've not already gotten a copy of the book before you go .

Speaker 1 1:08

Today , though , we are talking about family transitions , so ministry training , when you take a new job . Sure , it affects you . It affects your livelihood , your salary , it affects you personally , it affects your career . But it doesn't just affect you , it affects your entire family and that's something that Wade writes a whole chapter on . It's really good in the book and he emphasizes that any move should . If you have a family , if you have a wife or a husband and kids , every family , every move should be a team decision and that should be made with input and buy-in from everyone involved . So here are some things to consider as we talk about is my family ? You might be totally ready for a move , but your wife , your spouse , isn't . You could say , no , I'm not ready for a move yet , and your spouse could say , no , we need to get out of Dodge .

Speaker 1 2:11

So here's some things to consider when assessing your family's readiness for a move . First , is your spouse is really important ? You need to consider your spouse's perspective . Is your spouse ? We always ask this when we talk to candidates and it's not because the church is hiring your spouse , that's not it at all . It's just we want to know how is your spouse feeling about this potential transition , this potential move ? How does she feel about leaving ? Or if we're talking to a gal , how does your husband feel about leaving their small group ? How do they feel about leaving their kids' school ? If you're moving houses ? All those things are really important . So we ask it and it's something you need to ask yourself Is my spouse excited ? Is my spouse hesitant ? Is he or she unsure about the move ? Open and honest communication is absolutely essential in ensuring that their concerns and their hopes are heard .

Speaker 1 3:07

You need to consider the impact on your children . If you have children , how will the move affect your kids ? Consider ages , your kids' ages and their school situations and their friendships and their overall well-being . How are your kids doing where they are ? How would they do with a move , because a move can be especially challenging for kids and for teenagers .

Speaker 1 3:28

Look at your support systems . Will your family have access to a supportive community in the new location ? Are you moving away or closer to family or friends ? A strong church community , especially if you're moving away from family and friends , can really make a huge difference , and I know we've talked about this on the podcast even a couple times this week about work-life balance . But this as you look at your family situation will this role support a healthy work-life balance that gives ultimately benefits to your family . You need to ensure that the job's demands won't create more stress at home and then look at financial stability . Is the compensation package at the church that you're thinking about going to ? Is it adequate ? Will it meet your family's needs ? Because probably , if you're like most families , the last thing you need is financial stress added on top of just the stress of having a family . It can take a toll on everyone . And then just time time for adjustment . Has your family had enough time to process this idea of a move ? Rushing the decision can lead to a lot of anxiety and a lot of resentment , and I want to go back just to one thing before I give you the bottom line for today , when I go back to talking about how your spouse is ready or not ready for a move , let me just encourage you to think of how your spouse . Let me talk to husbands here first , because I'm a husband , so I understand this a little bit more .

Speaker 1 5:02

When you are considering a move , you are considering a totally different set of concerns than your wife is bringing to the table . You're considering okay , you're considering financial . Am I going to be ? Is this a good move financially for us . Is this a good move ? Career move for us Is this a good move ? Just kind of culture , all the jobby type stuff , right ? Your wife brings a whole different set of concerns . She's thinking am I going to have to box up everything that I own and put it in a moving truck ? She's worried about finances too . How are we going to make this move financially ? Is it going to be good for us financially ? She's worried about finances too . How are we going to make this move financially ? Is it going to be good for us financially ?

Speaker 1 5:39

She's worried about the kids . You're worried about the kids , but she's really worried about the kids she's worried about they're going to leave their friends , they're going to leave their school . She's going to be really concerned about that . And then she's going to be looking at it from a relational standpoint much more than you are . Most women do , and I'm not trying to be sexist or anything , but most women are going to be looking at this is a huge thing . You're going to go off to work and do your thing and you're going to have those professional relationships built in . She's going to lose her small group . She's going to lose her friend base professional relationships built in . She's going to lose her small group . She's going to lose her friend base . She's going to lose the teachers that she works with and the parents that she works with and her volunteers that she works with . She's going to lose a lot of that .

Speaker 1 6:26

So just know that your spouse , your wife in particular , is thinking about this . She's worried about are we going to be able to find a house ? Are the schools going to be good for the kids ? We've got to check out the schools . We can't just send them to the first public school there is . Are there private schools ? Can we afford all those kind of things ? You're thinking vocationally and ministry-wise . She's thinking practically what does this mean for me and my family ? So that's the bottom line . As a matter of fact , I'm going to change my bottom line just on the spur of the moment is that having your family involved , and particularly your spouse , is just absolutely key . Your spouse's readiness . She has to be just as ready . He has to be just as ready as you are and taking the time to really put yourself in their shoes and assess their needs and their concerns . It's really a huge part of having a healthy transition . Okay , I hope that's been helpful to you , man .

Speaker 1 7:28

This is something that's really important because , in my role at Chemistry Staffing , we talk with a lot of candidates every day and the topic of family comes up so much and you need to make sure that your family is healthy . If your family is not healthy , if your spouse and your kids are not excited about a potential move , man , it's going to make that move . It significantly drops the percentage of success that this move is going to have for you and your family . It's going to be incredibly stressful if everyone is not on board , if everyone is not excited . So maybe you're struggling with this . You just need somebody to talk to , maybe you need a coaching session here or just Todd , answer me this . Feel free to reach

Preparing for Church Transitions

Speaker 1 8:20

out to me .

Speaker 1 8:20

Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom . I'd love to hear from you and I hope you'll continue to listen to the podcast . Next week we're going to continue our series really important series that we're doing about questions that you should ask before you go to your next church . All right , thank you . It is Friday . If you're watching or listening to this podcast on a Friday , I hope you have a great weekend and we will see you right back here on Monday on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast . Have an absolutely great weekend .