What We Talk About in Elder Meetings That We'd Never Say in a Sermon
•Todd Rhoades•Season 1•Episode 373
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Every church operates with two distinct scripts - the public one seen in sermons and newsletters, and the private one found in elder meetings discussing budget worries and staff frustrations. The gap between these scripts often creates suspicion and erodes trust.
• Church leaders often hide difficult information to be protective, not deceptive • When transparency decreases, church culture deteriorates through gossip and suspicion • Secrecy creates side effects: staff whispering instead of collaborating, board factions forming • Leaders need to create a culture of "brave transparency" without oversharing • The health of your church depends on what's safe to say in elder meetings, not just what's said on Sunday
If you're struggling with transparency issues in your church leadership, reach out to us at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com to share your story and explore how we might help.
Okay , let me ask you something today . What would happen if your church elders got up on stage on Sunday morning and read the minutes from last Tuesday's meeting out loud ? There's a reason that we don't do that in most cases , and today we're going to be talking about what church leaders say behind closed doors and why it almost never makes it to the pulpit . Stick around , you might rethink how transparency actually works in the church . Hi there , my name is Todd Rhodes . I am one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom and I am also your host here on the Healthy Church Staff podcast . All right , every church has two scripts . Let's start there . One is public the sermons , the vision casting , the optimistic newsletters , the testimony and spiritual change stories , the website . That's public , right . But the other is private
and it's budget worries , it's staff frustrations , it's theological tension , it's who's not pulling their weight and elder meetings . Well , that's where the second script , that private script , gets written , and with good intentions , but also with some real fear . I mean , there's fear of division , there's fear of losing trust , there's fear that too much honesty will cause more harm than good . I mean , have you ever been in a room where somebody said , yeah , let's not put that in the minutes . Yeah , that's where the script lives . Okay , so sometimes this transparency just feels dangerous . And church leaders , most of the time and not all the time , but most of the time church leaders aren't trying to be deceptive , they're really trying to be protective . I mean , they know the weight of the flock , they understand the politics , they understand the fragile unity and sometimes they're navigating things that are so raw or so uncertain that sharing them openly , these things openly , could cause panic or confusion .
But the problem is , when there's too much of that second script that's going on , that gets hidden , your church culture starts to get really weird , right , and maybe you've been in a church where this has happened .
Speaker 1
The suspicion grows , gossip fills in some of the gaps and eventually people feel the dissonance between what's preached on Sunday morning and what's practiced . And it's , you know , maybe staff versus the elders or congregation versus the elders and , let's be honest , when trust is low , the elders and let's be honest , when trust is low , transparency always feels like a threat instead of a gift . There's also some side effects to some of the secrecy as well . Okay , when you consistently keep the hard stuff hidden , there are certain things that happen . You know , staff start whispering instead of collaborating . Board members develop factions instead of alignment during conflict . The congregation senses some things a little bit off , even if they can't name it .
Speaker 1
But worst of all , leaders lose the muscle memory for telling the truth out loud . I once heard of a pastor who said you know , I'm scared to even bring this up at an elder meeting because I don't want to lose their confidence . That kind of thing is not just sad , it's toxic . You need to be able to have those conversations . So how do you lead with this kind of brave transparency
? Well , what if your elder meetings became a training ground for honesty , not just a strategy session for damage control ? You know , be proactive rather than reactive .
Speaker 1
Brave transparency can look maybe something like this you say what's true , even when it's hard . Now that doesn't mean that you go and you read your elder minutes . Okay , that's not what I'm saying . But you don't want to keep all the hard stuff . You need to share things even when it's hard . Don't weaponize confidentiality . Use it for care , not for control , and invite trusted voices to help process some of this complexity , not just rubber stamp decisions . You need to create a culture where truth-telling isn't punished , but it's practices . Now you don't have to post your meeting notes on Instagram . You don't have to get up on stage and read them . I'm not asking you to do that , but you do need to have a leadership culture where truth isn't whispered , it's welcomed . Here's the truth and the bottom line for today . The health of your church isn't just shaped by what's happening and what's said on the platform on Sunday morning . It's shaped by what's safe to say on Tuesday nights in the elder meeting . Don't let fear write that script
Maybe you're a pastor and you're really struggling in this area . Maybe you've got a hard group of elders or you've lost trust . Maybe you're an elder and you're just like man . I wish I could have transparency and confidence to share things in elders meetings , but I just can't . That's not our culture and if I did , things would totally blow up . Well , I'll tell you what , if there's any way that I can help you .
Speaker 1
I've walked with numerous churches through this . I've been an elder , I've been a pastor on staff as well , so I've seen both sides of the fence here , both sides of the table , and if there's any way that I can listen to your story and help you , maybe come alongside you and your team . That would be something I would just love to do . You can reach out to me anytime podcast at chemistrystaffingcom and just tell me your story . I'd love to hear your story .
Speaker 1
If we need to hop on a Zoom call , do a quick conversation , see if there's some way that I can help your church or help you and partner together , I would love to be able to do that . You don't need to navigate this tension in your church leadership alone , and sometimes you or your team just need a little bit of outside help to kind of help get the ball rolling and to know what's , first of all , not only acceptable but what should be happening in those meetings . Okay , so I hope that was helpful for you today . I'd love to hear your comments Again podcast at chemistrystaffingcom , andi hope you'll join me right back here again tomorrow on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast . Have a great one you .
