The Hidden Cost of Being The Fixer on a Church Staff

We explore the hidden emotional toll experienced by "the fixer" on church staff teams - that go-to person who handles every crisis but rarely receives support themselves. This episode unpacks how well-intentioned problem-solvers often become emotional dumping grounds, leading to burnout and potential ministry casualties if left unchecked.

• Most church staffs have a designated "fixer" - the person everyone turns to with problems
• The fixer trap starts as a compliment to competence but evolves into an unofficial full-time role
• Fixers become emotional trash cans, absorbing all team and church dysfunction
• Being praised for composure while being punished for boundaries creates frustration and shame
• Fixers need to remember they aren't Jesus or the church's emotional sponge
• Healthy church teams must recognize fixers as high-empathy leaders at risk of burnout
• Leaders should check in with their fixers, distribute emotional labor, and support boundaries
• Fixers need to trade over-functioning for a more sustainable approach to ministry

If you're a fixer who needs help or a leader who's recognized you have a fixer on your team who needs support, reach out to me at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com.

Have questions or comments?  Send to podcast@chemistrystaffing.com

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Transcript

Introducing the Church Staff Fixer

Speaker 1 0:09

Most church staffs have one . I wonder if yours does . I call them the fixer . They're the person that everybody goes to when there's a problem . But here's the problem Sometimes nobody ever checks on the fixer to see how they're doing .

Speaker 1 0:29

Today we're going to expose the kind of the hidden toll of being the fixer on a church staff team . And maybe you're listening today to the Healthy Church Staff podcast and you're like Todd , I am the fixer on my church staff team and I'm tired . I'm tired . You've got constant emotional dumping from other people to unrealistic expectations . Everybody's coming to talk to you because you know how to do everything and , after all , you're the fixer . We're going to talk today about you because you are in many church staff scenarios . You are the ministry hero . You are in many church staff scenarios . You are the ministry hero that , if you're not careful , can become the ministry casualty . If you've ever carried anyone else's chaos on your church staff , this episode is for you . Hi there , my name is Todd Rhodes , one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom , and today we're going to dig into this and if you're a fixer man , you probably get I've been a fixer on a team before . You probably get a lot of satisfaction out of being able to fix things , but also you've got your own job to do that . I don't know that I've ever seen a job title that says pastor of fix things or I'm the fixer pastor . No , you've got another title , but yet everybody on your team comes to you when there's a problem , either for advice or can I help me fix this . And if you ever feel like the unofficial therapist or tech support person or event planner or peacemaker all rolled into one , this is for you . If something breaks , physically or relationally , chances are you're the one that everybody calls . But here's the catch the more you fix , the more visible you become and more people ask . You know how this goes . You know how the scenario runs out . Stick with me .

Speaker 1 2:22

Today we're going to be talking about the hidden emotional toll of being the fixer on a church staff and why it might just be breaking you and I don't want you to be the one that needs

The Fixer Trap Explained

Speaker 1 2:34

to be fixed . All right , so let's talk about this fixer trap and even how it starts . Okay , at first it feels like a compliment You're dependable , you're competent , you're cool . Under pressure , you get things done and people start coming to you . They trust you to handle things and you do , but slowly , over time , and usually not intentionally , things start to shift and what used to be helping becomes this full-time , unwritten job description . You're now the emotional catch-all on the team . You're expected to absorb every crisis and to speak into every crisis and mistake , every awkward moment , every complaint , and you're not just solving problems . You're absorbing all of the dysfunction for your church and your team . You're absorbing all of the dysfunction for your church and your team . Ever notice how , if you're this person and you're fixing a lot of things and you feel the burden of it , you ever notice how nobody ever really comes to ask you if you're okay ? That's a problem .

Speaker 1 3:37

The emotional trash can phenomenon is what I like to call it . Let's call it what it is . You become an emotional trash can phenomenon is what I like to call it . Let's call it what it is . You become an emotional trash can . Staff drama . Dump it here .

Speaker 1 3:47

Sunday went sideways . Let's go to Todd and Todd will listen to me . I'll vent it there . You have attention . With leadership , you're the buffer .

Speaker 1 4:02

Problem is you weren't hired to be everybody's personal therapist or safety valve , and yet your inbox and your office and your Slack DMs they start to tell a different story , and this is emotional labor , and in the church we rarely ever name it , let alone protect people from it .

Emotional Trash Can Phenomenon

Speaker 1 4:13

And it has an impact . It's really burnout with a smile , because there's a cruel irony here . You're praised for your composure , but you're punished for your boundaries . Okay , you're called a team player until you say I can't take this on . You begin to feel two things at once You're frustrated and you're ashamed . You're frustrated because the weight is just unfair , and yet you're ashamed because you don't want to seem weak or unspiritual . So you keep on fixing , you keep absorbing , you keep smiling until one day you're just , you're done , you crash .

Speaker 1 4:50

So what do you need to hear ? What do you need to hear if you're a fixer ? If you're a fixer , here's what I want you to hear from me today , because it's the truth . Okay , number one , you are not Jesus . I know you knew that , but stop trying to take everything on , because you're not Jesus , you can't do everything .

What Fixers Need to Hear

Speaker 1 5:16

And another truth is you are not the church's emotional sponge . You can say no and , matter of fact , you have to start saying no .

Speaker 1 5:19

Your value to the team is not in how many fires you can put out . It's in the health that you bring when you're actually healthy yourself , and if you're not healthy , you're going to be spreading fires rather than putting them out . And if no one's ever said this to you before , let me say to you really clearly okay , it's you and me talking here . Okay , you're allowed to stop carrying everybody else's baggage . Okay , you don't need to apologize for resting and you're not broken for feeling overwhelmed . So how do you reverse this ? If you're a fixer , how do you not burn out ? How do you start saying no and resisting taking on everybody else's emotional baggage ?

Creating Healthier Team Dynamics

Speaker 1 6:03

And on a healthy church staff , team teams must recognize that . They must recognize fixers for really what they are . They're high empathy , high output leaders , but they're also at risk . And that means that on a healthy team , you share the load . You don't take it all to one person . You start naming these unrealistic expectations and you start allowing for mechanisms to create some real rest , not just these performative Sabbath days . Okay , you encourage boundaries and start backing them up with action .

Speaker 1 6:34

So if you're leading a team , don't reward that quiet sacrifice with more silence . You got to check in . You got to protect your fixers . If you're a senior pastor , you may be the fixer , but chances are you're not , it's somebody else on your team and you know who they are . Check in with them . Protect your fixer or your fixers , or you'll lose them , either quietly to burnout or to bitterness , or to both .

Speaker 1 7:00

So if you've been the fixer , just know this is the bottom line for today . You are not alone , you're not weak , you're just human and it's time to trade some of this over-functioning to a little bit more of an overflowing and sharing this as you can and maybe you're like Todd , I am the fixer and I need some help . I'd love to see if there's a way that I can come alongside coach you , help you and your team , maybe help you and your senior pastor . Kind of get through this , because if you don't and you continue on the path that you are , you know that at some point you're just going to have to walk away or you're going to crash and burn , okay . So if this hits home ,

Final Thoughts and Support Offer

Speaker 1 7:42

reach out to me .

Speaker 1 7:42

Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom . I'd love to hear from you . Maybe you're a pastor and you're like God has shown me through this podcast that I have a fixer on my team and I need to support him . Love to have a conversation with you on how you can do that as well . Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom . All right , that's it for today's podcast . For all my fixers out there , raise your hand , I'm with you . I've been there before , so I hope this was helpful to you and we'll be right back here again tomorrow on the Healthy Church Stat Podcast . Hope you'll join me then .