The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
We're all about helping create a healthy, positive, and spiritually positive environment for church staff members and leadership teams.
The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
The Hidden Cost of Being The Fixer on a Church Staff
We explore the hidden emotional toll experienced by "the fixer" on church staff teams - that go-to person who handles every crisis but rarely receives support themselves. This episode unpacks how well-intentioned problem-solvers often become emotional dumping grounds, leading to burnout and potential ministry casualties if left unchecked.
• Most church staffs have a designated "fixer" - the person everyone turns to with problems
• The fixer trap starts as a compliment to competence but evolves into an unofficial full-time role
• Fixers become emotional trash cans, absorbing all team and church dysfunction
• Being praised for composure while being punished for boundaries creates frustration and shame
• Fixers need to remember they aren't Jesus or the church's emotional sponge
• Healthy church teams must recognize fixers as high-empathy leaders at risk of burnout
• Leaders should check in with their fixers, distribute emotional labor, and support boundaries
• Fixers need to trade over-functioning for a more sustainable approach to ministry
If you're a fixer who needs help or a leader who's recognized you have a fixer on your team who needs support, reach out to me at podcast@chemistrystaffing.com.
Have questions or comments? Send to podcast@chemistrystaffing.com
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Most church staffs have one. I wonder if yours does. I call them the fixer. They're the person that everybody goes to when there's a problem. But here's the problem Sometimes nobody ever checks on the fixer to see how they're doing.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to expose the kind of the hidden toll of being the fixer on a church staff team. And maybe you're listening today to the Healthy Church Staff podcast and you're like Todd, I am the fixer on my church staff team and I'm tired. I'm tired. You've got constant emotional dumping from other people to unrealistic expectations. Everybody's coming to talk to you because you know how to do everything and, after all, you're the fixer. We're going to talk today about you because you are in many church staff scenarios. You are the ministry hero. You are in many church staff scenarios. You are the ministry hero that, if you're not careful, can become the ministry casualty. If you've ever carried anyone else's chaos on your church staff, this episode is for you. Hi there, my name is Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over at chemistrystaffingcom, and today we're going to dig into this and if you're a fixer man, you probably get I've been a fixer on a team before. You probably get a lot of satisfaction out of being able to fix things, but also you've got your own job to do that. I don't know that I've ever seen a job title that says pastor of fix things or I'm the fixer pastor. No, you've got another title, but yet everybody on your team comes to you when there's a problem, either for advice or can I help me fix this. And if you ever feel like the unofficial therapist or tech support person or event planner or peacemaker all rolled into one, this is for you. If something breaks, physically or relationally, chances are you're the one that everybody calls. But here's the catch the more you fix, the more visible you become and more people ask. You know how this goes. You know how the scenario runs out. Stick with me.
Speaker 1:Today we're going to be talking about the hidden emotional toll of being the fixer on a church staff and why it might just be breaking you and I don't want you to be the one that needs to be fixed. All right, so let's talk about this fixer trap and even how it starts. Okay, at first it feels like a compliment You're dependable, you're competent, you're cool. Under pressure, you get things done and people start coming to you. They trust you to handle things and you do, but slowly, over time, and usually not intentionally, things start to shift and what used to be helping becomes this full-time, unwritten job description. You're now the emotional catch-all on the team. You're expected to absorb every crisis and to speak into every crisis and mistake, every awkward moment, every complaint, and you're not just solving problems. You're absorbing all of the dysfunction for your church and your team. You're absorbing all of the dysfunction for your church and your team. Ever notice how, if you're this person and you're fixing a lot of things and you feel the burden of it, you ever notice how nobody ever really comes to ask you if you're okay? That's a problem.
Speaker 1:The emotional trash can phenomenon is what I like to call it. Let's call it what it is. You become an emotional trash can phenomenon is what I like to call it. Let's call it what it is. You become an emotional trash can. Staff drama. Dump it here.
Speaker 1:Sunday went sideways. Let's go to Todd and Todd will listen to me. I'll vent it there. You have attention. With leadership, you're the buffer.
Speaker 1:Problem is you weren't hired to be everybody's personal therapist or safety valve, and yet your inbox and your office and your Slack DMs they start to tell a different story, and this is emotional labor, and in the church we rarely ever name it, let alone protect people from it. And it has an impact. It's really burnout with a smile, because there's a cruel irony here. You're praised for your composure, but you're punished for your boundaries. Okay, you're called a team player until you say I can't take this on. You begin to feel two things at once You're frustrated and you're ashamed. You're frustrated because the weight is just unfair, and yet you're ashamed because you don't want to seem weak or unspiritual. So you keep on fixing, you keep absorbing, you keep smiling until one day you're just, you're done, you crash.
Speaker 1:So what do you need to hear? What do you need to hear if you're a fixer? If you're a fixer, here's what I want you to hear from me today, because it's the truth. Okay, number one, you are not Jesus. I know you knew that, but stop trying to take everything on, because you're not Jesus, you can't do everything. And another truth is you are not the church's emotional sponge. You can say no and, matter of fact, you have to start saying no.
Speaker 1:Your value to the team is not in how many fires you can put out. It's in the health that you bring when you're actually healthy yourself, and if you're not healthy, you're going to be spreading fires rather than putting them out. And if no one's ever said this to you before, let me say to you really clearly okay, it's you and me talking here. Okay, you're allowed to stop carrying everybody else's baggage. Okay, you don't need to apologize for resting and you're not broken for feeling overwhelmed. So how do you reverse this? If you're a fixer, how do you not burn out? How do you start saying no and resisting taking on everybody else's emotional baggage?
Speaker 1:And on a healthy church staff, team teams must recognize that. They must recognize fixers for really what they are. They're high empathy, high output leaders, but they're also at risk. And that means that on a healthy team, you share the load. You don't take it all to one person. You start naming these unrealistic expectations and you start allowing for mechanisms to create some real rest, not just these performative Sabbath days. Okay, you encourage boundaries and start backing them up with action.
Speaker 1:So if you're leading a team, don't reward that quiet sacrifice with more silence. You got to check in. You got to protect your fixers. If you're a senior pastor, you may be the fixer, but chances are you're not, it's somebody else on your team and you know who they are. Check in with them. Protect your fixer or your fixers, or you'll lose them, either quietly to burnout or to bitterness, or to both.
Speaker 1:So if you've been the fixer, just know this is the bottom line for today. You are not alone, you're not weak, you're just human and it's time to trade some of this over-functioning to a little bit more of an overflowing and sharing this as you can and maybe you're like Todd, I am the fixer and I need some help. I'd love to see if there's a way that I can come alongside coach you, help you and your team, maybe help you and your senior pastor. Kind of get through this, because if you don't and you continue on the path that you are, you know that at some point you're just going to have to walk away or you're going to crash and burn, okay. So if this hits home, reach out to me.
Speaker 1:Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. I'd love to hear from you. Maybe you're a pastor and you're like God has shown me through this podcast that I have a fixer on my team and I need to support him. Love to have a conversation with you on how you can do that as well. Podcast at chemistrystaffingcom. All right, that's it for today's podcast. For all my fixers out there, raise your hand, I'm with you. I've been there before, so I hope this was helpful to you and we'll be right back here again tomorrow on the Healthy Church Stat Podcast. Hope you'll join me then.
