The Lie Exhausted Pastors Believe

In this episode of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast, host Todd Rhoades discusses the root causes of pastoral burnout and the destructive belief that pastors must do everything themselves. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing this mindset as a lie, dismantling it, and adopting practices such as delegation, trust, and rest to foster healthier church leadership. By letting go of the need to control everything and enabling others, pastors can build sustainable and joyful church environments.• Pastors often feel they can't stop or everything will fall apart, leading to burnout.• This belief, termed a 'rescue complex,' is a deep-rooted lie detrimental to them and their church.• Delegation is often seen as a luxury, leading to underdeveloped talent within the church.• The anxiety and overwork become perceived ministry values when modeled by leaders.• Burnout affects personal health, family life, and church culture.• Solutions include recognizing the lie, gradually delegating responsibilities, and practicing rest.• Healthy leadership involves trusting others, fostering team growth, and sharing burdens.

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Chapters

• 0:08 Naming Burnout’s Core Lie
• 0:36 Why Pastors Feel Exhausted
• 1:18 How The Lie Becomes Identity
• 2:24 The Cost To You And Your Church
• 3:52 Practical Steps To Let Go
• 5:13 Rest As Command And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:08

Many pastors and church leaders feel stuck in a cycle of exhaustion, fearing that if they stop, everything will just fall apart. But that belief, we're going to call it a lie, might be doing more harm than the work will do itself. And today on the podcast, we're going to dig into the core mindset that fuels burnout and explore what would actually look like, what it would actually look like to release control and trust others and actually start to heal. Hi there, my name is Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over Chemistry Staffing, and your host right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. All right. Todd, why do you keep talking about burnout? Because I talk to candidates all day, every day some days, and burnout is real. I'm telling you, people are just tired. And the biggest lie that I think exhausted pastors believe is this. If I stop, everything's going to fall apart. But here's the thing: that's not leadership, that's a rescue complex in disguise. And today we're going to name that lie and dismantle the myth and open up, hopefully, a little better, more sustainable path forward. Okay. So it all starts with kind of this lie, this root of a lie that, and this belief doesn't come from nowhere. It grows in cultures where everything flows from the pastor. Maybe your church is that kind of a church that it's led from the top down. Everything starts and flows out of the office of the pastor. Maybe it's a church that feels like delegation where you just feel like it's a luxury that you don't have anybody to delegate to, or you don't know how to delegate, or everything's too important to delegate. And maybe affirmation is tied to performance because the more people say thank you for doing that, Pastor, you just feel like you're doing a good job. And that's where the lie comes in. It starts to become, it starts off as maybe a little lie, but it becomes a form of identity that tells yourself, hey, I'm needed, I'm essential. And without me, this whole place, it just doesn't work. It'll just all fall apart. And maybe that's true for a specific period of time, but over time, long term, that belief will burn you out and it keeps your team from growing. What does this lie cost you? Because every lie usually has some kind of a payment that's due on the back end of it. What does this cost you in your belief system? It's going to shrink your leadership pipeline because you're going to find you're going to do everything yourself. It keeps talented people underdeveloped because you're not giving them tasks, you're not delegating, you're trying to do it all yourself. It's going to model anxiety and overwork as ministry values in your church. And if you've ever been in a church that looks at this kind of thing and sees that they've got somebody that's willing to do the work and is pretty competent, guess what? More work is going to come your way. So it does, it models that anxiety and overwork as just a ministry value. And it's going to destroy your joy and your margin and your effectiveness. You think you're helping, but you're actually creating a culture in your church of dependency on you and exhaustion. And your people will see it, your family absolutely will feel it. And eventually, your body will not be able to ignore it. I'm convinced, matter of fact, I know some people that have spent some extended time in a hospital bed because they believed this lie, they lived this lie out, they pushed and pushed and pushed, and finally their body said, No more. No more. It's time for a break, and your body will do that to you at times. So, what do you do instead? What do you do? You've got to name the lie. You've got to admit that you believe it. I bought into this. This is who I am. This is what I've been doing. And remind yourself that you are not God. Okay? You're not God. God doesn't expect you to do everything. You gotta start small. Give away one key responsibility. I've been harping on this on the podcast for the past month. Give away some responsibility. Delegate as much as you can. Say no to something that you always say yes to. Do it nicely, do it graciously, but you can't do everything. And trust somebody else to carry a piece of the weight. Find one person. Start with one person that you think, yeah. I might not fully trust them, but I trust them. A good amount of trust. Allow them to carry a piece of your weight. And along with that, as you do this over time, you're gonna eventually start to develop your team. You're gonna equip others on how to lead without micromanaging. You're gonna let others fail and recover and grow, and you're gonna celebrate their wins more than your own. And you might think, I can't do that. You can do that, but you gotta start today. And it's a process. It doesn't happen overnight. You can't just flip the switch on the wall. Rest is not a reward for getting everything done. Rest is a command. Let me repeat that because it's really important. Rest isn't a reward for getting everything done. You can't go and then if you get everything done, rest. Because guess what? You're not ever going to get everything done. Rest isn't a reward for getting everything done. It's a command and it's your birthright. Okay, here's my final thought, my big idea for the day. Healthiest pastors I know, they all have one thing in common. They let go, they share the burden, and they trust God to build what they can't control. I'd love to hear from you. What's one small thing that you can let go of this week? What's the one thing you've been hanging on to? Todd, you just gotta let go of this. I'd love to hear from you. Podcast at chemistry staffing.com. All right, that's it for today. We will be here again next week, Monday through Friday, right here on the Health and Church Staff Podcast. Hope you'll join me.