The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
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The Healthy Church Staff Podcast
The Gratitude You Owe Your Critics
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Hey, welcome to the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. My name is Todd Rhodes, and I'm one of the co-founders of Chemistry Staffing and your host here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. This week, tomorrow's Thanksgiving, if you're listening to this on the day that it was released, and this week we've been doing a five-part series on gratitude, but not just a thankfulness, thankful that. We've been what I've tried to do is take this whole idea of thankfulness and gratitude and turn it upside down. We're looking at some of the harder, maybe more misunderstood things about gratitude. So we're digging deep, even though this podcast is really short. Today we're talking about gratitude, not for your blessings, but for the people who've misunderstood you or miss or maybe underestimated you. Even maybe the people that have hurt you. Okay, so this one might rattle you a little bit. You're thinking, Todd, Thanksgiving week's supposed to be all fun and thankfulness and everything. And hopefully this will prompt you to be thankful, but maybe in a little bit different, maybe a little deeper, maybe special way this Thanksgiving week. So let's talk about why you might actually owe those people who have misunderstood or underestimated, or even the people that have hurt you, why you might actually owe them a thank you. Yep. That's right. So here's a question to start off with. That might sound absolutely completely backward. Okay. Here it is. What if your critic? The person who frustrated you the most this year, and I probably don't even have to pause here because I bet somebody, if you're in ministry, somebody or maybe two or three or five or ten people come to your mind. What if your critic, the person frustrated you the most this year is actually one of the greatest blessings in your life? Don't turn me off here. Hang on here, okay? What if that person is actually this year one of the greatest blessings in your life? Not because they were right, definitely not because they were kind, but because they helped refine something in you that applause never could. Okay? Let me dig into that a little bit. Okay. Here's how it works normally. Naturally, we naturally give thanks for the people who support us, right? The encouragers, the friends, the hey, I've got your back, people. Tell me what you need, I'll do it. Those kind of people. We naturally it's easy to give thanks for those, but scripture doesn't just call us to love our friends. Ready for this? Jesus actually said, Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. Okay, so that's a different story. That's not easy. That's not intuitive, but believe me, it is transformational. Now let me be clear. Don't get angry emails. This isn't about toxic people who cause harm. Okay. It's about the critic, it's about the contrarian, the guy who asks why in your staff meeting, and not in a really fun way, right? The church member who always seems to find the flaw in everything, the board member just doesn't get it, just doesn't see it. It's the one-star Google reviewer, it's the potster, it's the second guesser, exactly the type of person I'm talking about. But here's the thing: critics, whether they know it or not, often play a really powerful role in our development. If you're listening to your critics, they can sometimes help us expose our blind spots that we would never see with just the pat on the back kind of guys. They teach you to lead with restraint. They sharpen your message and your motives, and they remind you that you're not invincible. And let's be honest, they also teach you how to forgive and how to clarify and how to depend on God when all that affirmation drives up. Matter of fact, some of your deepest character development probably didn't happen with all the people that you've got around you that love you and are always constantly heaping praise. They didn't happen with the applause. Some of the deepest character development that probably happened with you in this past year happened in the resistance. I can think a few moments of a few moments in my own leadership over the years, where I was challenged unfairly, at least I thought, the emails that stung. I get I you should read my email inbox. I get emails every week from we're working in staffing, and sometimes people don't get the job, and sometimes they don't take it well. And sometimes their emails that people send me are just they're out of frustration and out of hurt. And when I get those emails, they still affect me, they still sting. Sometimes people make comments about me and about my motives that just aren't correct. They misunderstand my motives. Sometimes I just get pushback when man, I didn't think there was going to be any pushback coming. It's a total surprise. And in the moment, absolutely, my gut instinct is I want to fight back. I want to defend, I want to prove, I want to win every single time. But over time, and the older I get, the more I realize that some of those critics, some of those emails that tell me how bad our process sucked for them, which most people really like our process, but for once in a while, people don't get jobs and they some of those critics though help me understand how to become a better leader. They forced me to slow down a little bit, to clarify my why, to find a new confidence rooted in calling, not in approval. And if I'm honest, if I'm honest, I owe them a bit of gratitude, not because they were right, but because God used them anyway. So here's really what I want you to walk away with today on this day before Thanksgiving. Okay. Your critic might not be your enemy, they might be your unintentional mentor. They didn't sign up for it. You definitely didn't either, you didn't ask for it, but God is sovereign and he doesn't waste anything. Even sometimes unfair criticism can produce something sacred in you. So here's your invitation for today: a couple of reflection questions for you. Okay. Who's somebody this year? Okay, that either challenged you or criticized you or frustrated you. And if you take a step back, what did God teach you through all of that? What is God teaching you through all of that? And then a follow-up question to that is Is there any part of that experience that you could actually thank God for? That's what I want you to do today. I want you to just take a moment, think about those negative things and how they've shaped informed you and how God has used that to shape and form you. It's not what we want, it's not all puppy but puppy dogs and rainbows. It never is. But sometimes God can use those people to make you into a better leader and follow him closer. Hope this has been helpful for you today. We're gonna be back here tomorrow. I'm not taking Thanksgiving off. No way. I'm actually recording these a little early, but I will be with my family enjoying Thanksgiving. Hopefully, you are too. But maybe you're on your way to Thanksgiving and you want to listen to the podcast, absolutely put it in the car. Make the kids, make the wife, the husband listen to it. That'll they'll be thankful. Very good. Thank you so much for joining me today on this Thanksgiving week. We will be back here Thanksgiving Day for you with the next part. We've got two more at our Thanksgiving series here on the LPchurch.com.
