When Your Ministry Feels Like Exile: Leading from a Distance

In this episode of the Healthy Church Staff Podcast, Todd Rhoades discusses the importance of redefining 'presence' in pastoral care, drawing lessons from Ukrainian pastors who have had to adapt their methods due to the war. Rhoades emphasizes that presence is more about intentionality than physical proximity, and introduces the 'three-touch rule' for maintaining meaningful connections.• Challenges of pastors being physically distant from their congregation.• Ukrainian pastors' adaptations in remote ministry during the war.• Reframing presence not as proximity but as intentionality.• Strategies include the three-touch rule for engaging with congregants.• Encouragement to be fully present and stop apologizing for physical absence.

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Transcript

The Weight Of Being Away

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You're staring at your phone at 11 o'clock. Another text comes in from a hurting church member, but you're three states away and you're visiting family. Maybe you're right there in town, but you feel a million miles away. The Christians don't pause for your absence. The needs don't wait until you get back into town. Sound familiar? Talk about it today, right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Hi there, my name's Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders over at ChemistryStaffing.com. And I'm so glad you're listening today. Pastors in the Ukraine have found themselves with a difficult reality in the last couple of years. Ukrainian pastors all of a sudden had to shepherd their congregations that are scattered literally all over the world. The war in Ukraine didn't give them a choice about remote ministries. Matter of fact, they're doing funerals over FaceTime and baptisms in refugee camps all the time, and they're teaching us something really profound about presence. And here's what I think they've figured out that we're missing. You assume that being there physically equals being there spiritually, and sometimes you even guilt yourself into every meeting that you miss, and you try to control what you can't control from where you are when you're away, and you apologize constantly for your absence instead of maximizing your presence when you're there, and your staff maybe starts making decisions without you because they think that you're checked out. All these things are really things that happen all the time in ministry. Listen, your heart does need to be present with your people, and that's exactly right. But presence is not just proximity, and that's what we're talking about today. Presence, your presence is not just proximity. I'm gonna ask you to maybe think about recentering. Think about reframing this whole proximity versus presence idea, okay? Presence is about being intentional, okay? It's about intentionality. Presence is about intentionality, not about geography. And the Ukrainian pastors had to figure this out. They schedule specific windows for deep pastoral conversations. They don't try to be available 24-7, they're strategically available, and they've learned to ask better questions in shorter conversations. How's your soul doing right now? It hits differently than how are you? Just they cut to the chase. They delegate pastoral care to their team with clear frameworks and not guilt. Here's what I call the three-touch rule. Okay? When you can't be physically present present with someone, create at least three meaningful touches. The immediate response, I see you. I'm praying. Here's what I'm thinking. The follow-up conversation is scheduled, it's focused, and it's unhurried. And the community connection looks something like this. Here's who's going to walk with you while I'm away. Your family vacation doesn't disqualify you from pastoral care. And your conference travel can still include shepherding moments. And that staff retreat when you're away from the congregation isn't selfish, it's strategic for better team care. So the bottom line today is to distance that distance will reveal whether you're leading people or just managing programs. And the challenge is how do you do that? So this week, your challenge is I want you to practice this three-touch rule with someone you can't physically be with. Pick one person, pick one person who needs pastoral care. Give them your immediate response. Schedule a real conversation and connect them with someone local. And stop apologizing for not being everywhere and start being fully present where you can be. You see, your people need your presence more than they need your proximity. And thanks, people will thank you for really feeling that you are there for them. They need that presence even when you're out of town. And believe it or not, as the Ukrainian pastors are showing us, that presence can be had without being right in the same room. I hope this has been helpful for you today. My name is Todd Rhodes. You're listening to the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Hope you'll join me again tomorrow, right here on the Highway's Center.