When Staff Live Different Values Than the Church Preaches

In this episode of the Healthy Church Staff podcast, Todd Rhoades discusses the critical issue of the gap between a church's stated values and the actual lived values by its staff. He emphasizes the importance of alignment between these values to prevent toxicity and ensure authenticity within the church community. Rhoades offers practical advice for church leaders to audit their true values, engage in honest conversations with staff, and obsessively focus on aligning at least one key value to bridge this gap. • Churches often have a gap between stated and lived values. • This disconnect can feel confusing and toxic to staff and visitors. • Staff unknowingly follow unspoken rules rather than stated values. • Leaders should audit true values based on real decisions and actions. • Engage in open, non-defensive conversations with staff about real values. • Focus on obsessively aligning one key value for 90 days to set an example. • Leadership credibility relies on aligning words with actions.

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Transcript

When Values Feel Off

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Your church website says that you value authenticity and community, but your staff gossips in the office hallway after difficult conversations. You preach generosity from the stage every Sunday, but your team hoards information and guards it like it's they're turf. Fort Knox. The missed disconnect isn't subtle anymore. Your people see it, your visitors feel it. I heard somebody say I went to a church and it just felt off. And your staff, they're living in the tension every single day. And that's what we're going to talk about today on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. When your staff are living different values than what your church is preaching. Hi there, my name's Todd Rhodes, one of the co-founders at Chemistry Staffing, and your host right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast every weekday.

Stated Values Versus Actual Culture

SPEAKER_00 1:05

I was reading some research from biblical research recently, and it hit me. Most churches, many churches, have this gap. And in some churches, that gap that we talk about is even wider than you think. Your stated values live on your website and in your staff handbook. Your actual values show up in how decisions get made and how conflicts get handled and how information flows and whether people feel safe to disagree or ask really hard questions. The gap between stated and lived values isn't just confusing. If that gap is too wide, it can be toxic. So here's what's happening in a lot of churches. I see a slow drift happening. Staff see the contradiction probably first, and it maybe starts as just something really small. They don't even know how to name it. But they start operating by kind of these unspoken rules that just pop up in the culture instead of the stated ones that everybody sees when they read the handbook. New staff get confused because they're just coming on the team, and they get confused because what they were told doesn't match what they experience. People outside the church feel the disconnect before you do. And that little something is off when visitors can't quite put their finger on it. The vibe just doesn't feel doesn't feel right. That's this, that's the problem we're talking about. Listen, your team isn't trying to be hip hypocritical, and most leadership is not trying to be hypocritical. They're just following the culture that you've accidentally created.

Three Steps To Close The Gap

SPEAKER_00 2:49

So if your church is experiencing this over time, this gap between what you say your values are and what actually you're living out day to day, particularly in the office, here are three ways that I think could help you close the gap, at least get you started today. First, audit your actual values, not your stated ones. Okay? So look at your last five really difficult decisions that you've made, maybe at the elder level, maybe at the leadership level. What did they reveal about what you really value? How do you actually treat people when they mess up? So that's number one. Number two, have the awkward conversation with your staff if you need to. Ask them, hey, what do you think our real values are based on how we operate around here? Don't defend when you hear their answers. My mom always said, don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answers for. So don't defend, don't explain, just listen. So that's number two. Number three. From that feedback that you have from number one and number two, pick one value, just one, and get obsessive about it for the next 90 days. And by obsessive, what I mean is I want you to get obsessive, get right on track with living it out for the next 90 days. Don't try and fix everything all at once. That'll just be a mess. Choose the biggest area that you find the biggest gap in and close it with intention and consistent action. Because your staff is watching how you handle this more than what you know. And if you can model what it looks like to align your words with actions, most of the time your staff will follow. And if you ignore the gap and hope that it goes away, hint it won't. Your staff will learn to live with the contradiction. Your credibility as a leader hangs on this alignment and the ability to be able to close this gap. The gospel that you preach deserves better than a staff that lives it differently.

Why Alignment Protects Credibility

SPEAKER_00 4:47

So here's your bottom line for today. People don't follow your stated values, they follow your lived values. Your team wants alignment more than you think they do. They're just waiting for you to lead the way. That's it for today's episode on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast.

Bottom Line And Reach Out

SPEAKER_00 5:06

I'm Todd Rhodes. I'd love to hear from you. Reach out to me anytime with any question, any kind of way you need help, any kind of thing that we could help you in your church and our work at chemistry staffing in the area of healthy church staff. I'd love to hear your story and I'd love to hear a little bit more about how we might be able to help. You can reach out to me anytime at podcast at chemistry staffing.com. I answer every email, read every email actually, as well. All right. Sounds great. We will be back here tomorrow on the podcast. Tomorrow we're looking at the title of tomorrow's is the missing link between church values and staff alignment. So we'll talk about that tomorrow, right here on the Healthy Church Staff Podcast. Have a great day.