The Other Side of Fear
The most important life hack you'll need: A Holistic Guide to Get You Unstuck.
Self improvement topics covering mental health, trauma, limiting beliefs, mindset, spirituality, energy healing, mindfulness, and purpose.
The Other Side of Fear explores thought provoking stories about the types of fears that are triggered by our individual insecurities, conditioning and traumas. We examine the role of societal conventions and how they function as a strong determinant, in how we often choose to address our most personal struggles.
Our guests discuss how they navigate through various challenges, while taking ownership of their true desires. Giving you a gentle push, to live in a way that honors your authenticity. What does it mean to lean into fear? How can we recreate our stories and embrace the unknown? What does the other side of fear look like for you?
This is a reminder that, your fears are as big and as scary as you allow them to be. Your purpose is greater than the fear that hinders you.
Are you ready to unlearn and undo the old programs and reconnect with your truth?
The Other Side of Fear
Dealing with Fear and Healing Through Mind-Body Practices | with Dominiece Clifton
Key Takeaways:
- The importance of completing our stress response cycles and it's relevance to the ways in which we hold and store stress, until the energy eventually manifests as illness or diseases.
- Sometimes, in the process of trying to numb the bad things, we end up forgetting the good things.
- The power in BEING still.
Dominiece Clifton and Kertia Jené explore the themes of self-worth, healing, and holistic wellness, through diving into a personal journey of spiritual guidance; highlighting the impact of trauma on the mind and body, and the importance of somatic practices in healing. They discuss the challenges of reconnecting with the body, the ongoing nature of the healing journey, and the significance of addressing unresolved trauma to achieve personal growth and self-discovery. In emphasizing the impact of fear on one's growth, they conclude on the importance of nurturing the mind, body, and spirit through intentional practices. Dominiece also shares the development of her 4% formula, and insights from her book 'Hold Space to Heal', which offers somatic practices for healing.
Instagram @dominiecerclifton
Find Dominiece at Move and Still for Wellness Solutions.
Take the Entrepreneurial Clarity Assessment to Gain Awareness & Grow Your Business!
Books mentioned:
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily Nagoski
The Burnout Workbook: Advice and Exercises to Help You Unlock the Stress Cycle, Amelia and Emily Nagoski
Connect with us!!!
Instagram @discovertheothersideoffear
Youtube The Other Side of Fear Podcast
Kertia's Email: discovertheothersidepodcast@gmail.com
⚠ HEALTH DISCLAIMER ⚠
All health and mental health topics within the content of this body of work are for informational, discussion, reflective, and entertainment purposes only. The contents of this work are not intended to be a substitute for medical or professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Always seek the advice and care of qualified healthcare practitioners, with any questions or concerns you may have regarding the condition of your mental health and overall health. Take all advice from your health providers seriously and do not refrain from nor delay seeking medical attention or otherwise professional advice related to your health and wellness.
The Other Side of Fear and its contents does not replace nor does it claim to replace the knowledge, expertise and advice of licensed healthcare professionals. Do not disregard instructions from your healthcare providers because of something you saw or heard on social media or from your favourite creators.
Disclaimer:
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Happy New Year everyone. I am so excited to get back into this season. I had some of the most amazing conversations with amazing people doing phenomenal things in the world. And speaking about the world, does anyone else feel like 2025 came in real hot, Like, oh my goodness, there is just so much happening right now? But you do get to decide how you want to contribute. You do get to decide how you show up in the world, how you show up for yourselves, how you show up in your lives, how you show up for your loved ones, for your community and in society.
Kertia:And, speaking of which, I had a conversation with an amazing human being, Dominiece Clifton. She is a business strategist and founder and owner of Move and Still located in the US, in Maryland. She provides stress reduction and mindfulness services to organizations and she facilitates a lot of healing practices such as yoga, breath work, sound bath healing and a plethora of somatic practices, all while working to empower women to transform their businesses and their lives. And one thing that I really appreciated about this conversation with Dominiece is how she spoke about some of what happens with the sympathetic nervous system and highlighted what a fight, flight, freeze and fawn response might look like in a modern context, and particularly when she suggested observing ourselves, so that we can begin to recognize which of these responses we lean more heavily into. Like think about what state of fear you lean more heavily into, and in recognizing that we can better learn and develop the tools and practices that works more effectively to help us move through a lot of the stressors and difficulties that we experience. Now, With that being said, let's get into it.
Kertia:Tell me about what your journey was like. Getting into that. What was it? That was that first initiation for you? Getting into healing, getting into the wellness space, becoming a spiritual guide. How was that for you?
Dominiece:Yeah, thank you for asking that question and thank you for having me on your show today. So my entry into wellness really came after just going through my own healing journey and transformation. I today am a somatic practitioner and so I'm certified in yoga, meditation, breath work, and recently I added sound bath healing as an additional healing modality, and I weave all of these parts of myself into my work as a spiritual business coach. But I really just got my introduction into wellness by recognizing that I had a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and getting to a space where I didn't want to carry those stories, those limiting beliefs, those things that were holding me back any longer, after having lived most of my childhood and adult life holding on to things from a very young age. And so I started exploring various types of healing modalities outside of just talk therapy, and so I started learning about the ways that the body holds and stores stress and trauma and recognizing how you know, in order for us to release that stress, those stressful and traumatic situations, that we really have to work on healing the body. And that was really my introduction into the work, and it was like the more that I learned and understood, the more that I wanted to share out with others, which was my inspiration for starting my B2B business, moving Still.
Dominiece:So, outside of being a coach, I also have a business that works with businesses, schools and organizations and offers stress management, mindfulness and healing practices, and for me, starting that business was really taking everything that I'd learned on my own journey and then sharing it out with the world in a way to help and empower other people to go through their own healing journeys, and so that was my introduction into the healing space and the coaching work, which I have come back to out of obedience because I was a coach. I started out as a coach almost five years ago, back in 2020. And I stepped away from it because I kept burning out, and I came back to coaching recently, just feeling guided and led back to it and just allowing myself to, after resisting for a bit, follow that guidance and those whispers, and so that is a little bit about how I got into this space.
Kertia:That's beautiful. That's an amazing journey, thank you. You mentioned somatic work and how trauma affects the body, how a lot of that energetically gets trapped in the body.
Dominiece:Let's talk about that for a bit.
Kertia:I'd love for you to kind of like flesh it out and tell us how does trauma, how does stress like childhood trauma or whatever it is that it may have been that has impacted you emotionally, right, how does that get stuck in the body? Where does it get stuck and how do we get it out? Like, how do we get unstuck, how do we move it out of the body?
Dominiece:So I started learning about stress and trauma almost by accident. I was a nutrition and wellness coach at the time and at that time this was back in 2020, I was working with women who were, you know, women professionals. They were very busy. They were business owners, working women nine to fives. I had a couple of clients who were in school in the midst of you know, working, and they were moms, and so they were holding a lot of things personally and professionally. And then COVID had just kicked off that same year, and so everyone was really stressed out and overwhelmed, trying to just find a new normal in the midst of COVID and juggling all of their roles. And so they were coming to me for help with weight loss, weight management, just to live healthier, and I was trying practices, more of the traditional things, giving them meal plans and keto and helping them with workouts, and they weren't seeing. We weren't seeing because, as a coach, I wasn't seeing the results that I wanted to see with them either, but we weren't seeing the results we wanted to see with their bodies and it was, um, it was stressful for me as a coach because it's like you know, these people are coming to me and expecting results and they're not getting them. And so at the time, my ex-husband, um we were still together and he's a personal trainer and he shared um a and he's a personal trainer and he shared a few books with me. But I started reading about stress and you know the body and blood sugar and just all the ways that the body responds to stress and the ways that our bodies hold stress as a result, and you know where that, where that manifests, like when we are stressed. A lot of times as women, we hold it in our stomachs and so that shows up, as you know, having a hard time losing weight, that turns into diabetes and other illnesses and disease. And so it was like the more that I learned for my clients. I kept going down this rabbit hole and just learning more.
Dominiece:I read this book a few years ago called Burnout, and it's by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, two sisters, and it talks about how again, just, you know, just sharing how we hold stress in our bodies, and it started talking about how we have to just sharing how we hold stress in our bodies, and it started talking about how we have to complete our stress response cycles. And so what that means is that when we incur stress. Stress is intended to have a beginning, a middle and an end, and so in the beginning your body is in a state of balance or homeostasis, right, and then you go into the middle. That's the alarm phase. So something triggers your body to begin releasing stress hormones, adrenaline, cortisol. When that stressor is over, you're actually supposed to complete that cycle, and the problem is that a lot of us don't complete that cycle and so we just have a stressful situation and then we go about our lives.
Dominiece:We've kind of forgotten about it mentally, but our bodies are still holding it and that in our modern society, think about how many times a day or how many times a week we're incurring stressful situations and we're just holding and storing all of those stressful situations. You know, depending on what the situation is, it could be traumatic. And so over time that stress starts to manifest. That energetic, you know, the energy of that starts to manifest physically as diseases, illnesses. Sometimes you get sick and you have a hard time recovering because your immune system is constantly in a state of fight or flight, and so it becomes weakened. But it starts to manifest in a lot of ways.
Dominiece:It can also impact our mental health and turn into mental health challenges.
Dominiece:There's a lot of ways that it shows up, even if you look at some of the challenges that we see in our communities.
Dominiece:It shows up even if you look at some of the challenges that we see in our communities, right Like violence and, just you know, a lot of disruption. At the root of all of these things, it's really unresolved stress and trauma, and so the way for us to work through releasing that stress and trauma is by one completing our cycles, making sure that we are signaling to our bodies that they are safe so that they can begin to go into that rest and relax place and not be in the stress response or fight or flight space. And some of the ways that we do that the first way that's the most efficient is physical movement. So any sort of physical movement that allows you to move your body, whether that's working out, running, jogging, swimming, dancing, like any physical movement is going to be helpful for you, and that's the number one way to do it. And then, outside of that, you can do mindfulness practices to help the body, you can do deep breathing. The goal is for you to really do somatic or body-based practices to allow your body to release.
Kertia:Yeah, and it's so true. We store so much in our bodies unknowingly and I think a part of that issue where we keep so much in that it becomes to have a physiological effect, is that a lot of us are really disconnected from our bodies.
Kertia:A lot of us, like, do not live in our bodies like half the time, and so a lot of times, even when we experience things, there are some of us, or a lot of us, who may even disassociate right from the entire thing, and so knowing how to come back and get centered, to kind of like even feel into how you're feeling and like sit with your emotions and then be able to kind of complete the cycle, as you said, do something physical, whether it be dancing or an exercise or whatever it may be for you that resonates with you.
Kertia:I think that starting point of being in your body. It's so tricky. So how can we then encourage people to be more in their bodies or to know how to come back to their bodies, or to even recognize that they're really disconnected right now?
Dominiece:I love this question and I resonate so much with this question because that was my experience for most of my life. So my I have a like a traumatic conception story. I've never met my biological father like not so much to see the picture and so as a child it wasn't something that my mom and I ever talked about. When I got older we talked the first time we had like a real conversation, I was 30 years old and it was just like listen, like we've gone my entire life without talking about this big elephant in the room and like I need some answers. And I learned as an adult, as a 30 year old woman, that we never talked about it because my mom still had so much unresolved trauma about the situation right, she was a teen mom when it happened and so there was a lot that went into that situation. But as a child I knew something was off, but I couldn't name it, and so it was just like feeling this void and not really being able to process, not having resources, and so I started overeating at a very young age.
Dominiece:Seven years old I was a normal weight. By eight years old I had gained a significant amount of weight and I struggled with my weight for two and a half decades. I went on my first diet in middle school. That was just my life and my existence yo-yo dieting. And it was this internal battle that I hid really well by achieving and you know academics I overachieved and excelled in academics because that was something that I could control, even though I couldn't control the eating. And what I realized was that I was so disconnected from my body I had, like just turned off my hunger and fullness cues and I would just eat if I was sad or bored or happy. Eating was the way that I dealt with all of my emotions and I would overeat and not really feel that, and so I was very disconnected from my body. I was also disconnected from my emotions as a result of being disconnected from my body, and so I didn't start feeling emotions again until I was an adult, like I just kind of had existed on, like you know, just autopilot, kind of just numb and almost like an underlying depression my entire life. And that was how I was.
Dominiece:And once I started healing, like all of these emotions started coming up, all of these memories started coming up. It was like as soon as I started doing these somatic practices. It was as if, like my body was just like finally right, like finally I can release, and you can feel this and process through this. And that wasn't easy to have emotions come up that I tried to bury for most of my life, but I had to allow that to happen in order to release. And so connecting with the body really comes back to those somatic practices that I talked about, and so the word soma is Greek for body, and so when I, when we talk about somatic practices, we are literally talking about any sort of body centered practice that helps the body to heal and release, and so I wrote a book about a year and a half ago called Hold Space to Heal, and in that book I talk about seven somatic approaches that you can use to help the body heal, and really the body is so smart that you don't have to do a lot. The reason why the book is called Hold Space to Heal is because when you just give your body time nine times out of 10, the body will know what to do. Oftentimes we distract, right, we numb, we overeat, we overspend, we shop, we have sex, we drink, like we do all of these other things, but it's like the moment you just be still, your body will release, it'll process, you know, and you can work through it. And so coming back into the body can look like taking deep breaths and just doing, you know, breathing practices, breath work. It can look like yoga. Yoga has been such a helpful part of my healing practice, just the practice of really uniting the mind and body. And so when I'm doing yoga I'm in my body, but I'm also with my thoughts and I'm present, and so yoga is really helpful.
Dominiece:Restorative yoga is a form of yoga, but it's different because you aren't really doing asana or poses Right. So with traditional yoga there's a lot of movement, there's a lot of poses, there's stretching. Restorative yoga is really allowing yourself to be still and be supported by props and so having blankets and pillows and mats and all sorts of things that you really like place around your body as cushion to hold your body. But in that relaxation your body goes into the parasympathetic state, so it begins to relax and rest and that's when it's able to release all the tightness and tension that it holds. And so, even though you aren't physically doing a lot, your body is still working in that process.
Dominiece:Another practice that doesn't involve a lot of movement. But that's really helpful is yoga, nidra, and so, again, that's a different form of yoga, where it's like a guided practice You're being guided by someone else, almost like a guided meditative practice, but it allows you to sink into a very relaxable and relaxed state and in that state, when your body is able to relax, it begins to heal, it begins to release, and so it can be hard right, because you will begin to, as your body settles, you'll begin to have memories come up and things that you probably have tried to suppress come up, but we try to ignore those things and feel like if we bury them and not think about them, then we're fine, when the reality is that your body, your spirit, remembers those things, and it is not until you allow yourself to feel it, process and release it that you really find the freedom that you're seeking.
Kertia:And yoga and I love that you mentioned restorative yoga, because I know most people when they think about yoga, for example. I didn't just get up one day and I'm like, oh, I have this issue, I need to figure it out, I need to heal it. It didn't just happen for me like that. It was a process Like I went through a really bad depression.
Kertia:I was in a dark space for a long time so it took me a while to kind of like begin to unravel my experience, the traumas that I've experienced childhood trauma, generational trauma, Like it took me time to kind of unravel that and peel back the layers of that before I could even figure out what it was that worked with me or would be suitable for me to practice. Definitely, start out with meditation. It was one of the easiest ones for me, just like sitting there and being still. I know it's not the easiest for everyone else, but I love that you mentioned the somatic practice because it's something that's so easy and so accessible and it takes you out of your head right Out of your headspace.
Kertia:Because, you know, as I said, meditation is not easy for everyone, because so many of us are so used to just living in our headspace a lot of the time. So when you can get your body moving, whether it's through dancing or exercising or cycling or whatever it may be, getting you out of your S-base and completely in the present moment with yourself, that's really powerful. But I wanted to know what was that turning point for you, when you were like, okay, there is something here that needs to be observed, there's something here that needs to be worked through, because I know, like you saying, that you spoke to your mom when you were 30 years old. Right, was that the point? Or did it kind of like slowly, kind of reveal itself gradually over time? What was that like for you? Yeah, I don't.
Dominiece:I feel like most of my life I uh, I was numb and I didn't realize I was numb until I started to like ask questions and try to find answers. And so Brene Brown has this quote that talks about how we cannot selectively numb. And so when we try to forget about the hard memories or the negative memories, the painful memories, we also numb the joy and the positive memories. And so most of my life, when I thought about my childhood, I didn't remember the beautiful things, the joyful moments, the moments of being a child and having joy. I just remember pain and that was how I had associated my childhood. And so for me it was getting to a point and having joy. I just remember pain and that was like how I had associated my childhood. And so for me it was getting to a point where I said like it was almost like realizing that I had just shut off my emotions, I didn't, I hadn't really allowed myself to feel I had grown up and not really allowed myself to have joy, and I had been masking that for so long and just getting to a space where I didn't want to exist that way anymore. I was never when I was.
Dominiece:I've dealt with depression as an adult, but I was never diagnosed with depression. But because of my work and all of the research and learning that I've done around trauma, I realized that most of my life there was like this underlying kind of depression that had existed. And I just learned to exist and be that way. And so for me, I just got to a point where I was tired of existing that way. I talked about, like my yo-yo, dieting with food and not being able to conquer that.
Dominiece:And what I realized once I started to heal was that the challenges that I was having with food I was approaching it just from the physical aspect, and so that was the challenge with my clients as well. It was like what meal plan do I need to have, or what workouts do I need to do? And I could do those things and I was holding subconsciously it wasn't until I started, you know, doing the spiritual work and allowing myself to unpack and again allow myself to release those things that the physical begin to shift. And so for me it was just getting to a space of feeling like there was more for my life, but feeling a disconnect from that part of myself, like it wasn't possible because of all that I was holding and just making a decision that I was ready to let it go.
Dominiece:Now, similar to what you said, it's been over the last seven years. I've been on this like healing and personal development journey. It has been like peeling back a layer of the onion and then finding something else that needs to be worked on, and then kind of working on that and then finding something else. And I remember talking to my therapist and being like, oh my God, I'm exhausted. Like when does this end? Like when?
Kertia:am I done.
Dominiece:You know what I mean. Like every time I work through something, it's like now there's a new layer, a new thing, and she's like, girl, the healing journey is never, it's ongoing. She's like it's like a spiral staircase where there's just, you know, level after level, and I was just like, oh, I'm so exhausted. But it was just saying yes to the journey and each, even now. You know, I've come a long way, but there's still things that I find about myself that have to be worked through.
Dominiece:But it was a combination of modalities, so I've been very open to exploring different modalities. So I have done talk therapy, more traditional cognitive therapy, but I've done that in conjunction with the somatic practices. And so when we're thinking about healing, we have to think about it as a both and where it's not just talk therapy, right, it's talk therapy and these healing modalities. And that, I would say, has been what has been a game changer for me. And once I started to do the work and to see, like, how physically I started to change, to see how, like, mentally, I started to come out of that fog, like, have more clarity, have a greater sense of who I am, I just had a desire to continue and I would say that that is what really keeps me committed to the journey, even now, sometimes when I feel like it's tiring to, you know, to be on the healing journey.
Kertia:Yeah, yeah, it does get. It does get tiring. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes I'd be getting triggered.
Dominiece:Yeah.
Kertia:Sometimes I'd be getting triggered.
Dominiece:No, yeah, for real, and I'm just like what is this? This, I thought I was okay and then there's something else, right yeah?
Kertia:yeah, and then there's something else and I'm just like, okay, I see where this is coming from, I know where this is coming from, and then I can work, work through that, but it takes, it takes you get into that, um, being aware of that, being aware of what your traumas are, how that impacted you, and it just comes back to getting back in your body right, so that you can get in touch with yourself, get in touch with your emotions and allow yourself to feel those emotions, because now there's a lot of times when you can get triggered and you might not even know why you're triggered, what's triggering you, because you haven't yet recognized those patterns.
Kertia:But it does take a while, it does take some practice, it does take a lot of self-observation and introspection, but yeah Can. I add one thing there too.
Dominiece:Yeah, yeah. When you asked me the question about like kind of you know what was the thing or the tipping point for the healing journey For me, it was like the past was holding me back so I wanted to do more. Like you know, before I really fully stepped into entrepreneurship, I always had this kind of, this knowingness. I would say in my heart that I was destined to be more, but I would hold myself back. And I couldn't figure out why I was holding myself back.
Dominiece:But subconsciously, there were so many unresolved traumas that I had held on to, so much unworthiness about my place in the world, and I had to start kind of unpacking those things and allowing myself to explore those stories, to move from that place.
Dominiece:Right, like, what fears am I holding on to? What stories am I holding on to that I need to let go of? And so that was a part of it. And then, as a mother, it's seeing myself like versions of myself that I don't feel good about, right, being triggered, like you talked about, and being like, oh, okay, so now that's something else that I have to work on. So I feel like once I got through the childhood stuff, some of it, I think it started showing up in parenting and I would overreact to something and be like. That response didn't really match the situation. So now I have to do work there. So for me, I think a lot of my healing journey has been seeing the ways that my unresolved trauma has been holding me back right or stopping me from being the most authentic version of myself and then committing to allowing myself to release, to return to a more whole version of myself.
Kertia:Yeah, I love that you mentioned that a lot of our traumas, a lot of the things that we've experienced, they are actually reflected in the relationships around us, whether it be our intimate relationships with our partners, our kids, even still with our parents, and the dynamics there, because there's also the generational trauma. So a lot of that is mirrored in a lot of the relationships that surround us and so we get triggered of things that sometimes we do not readily identify where it's coming from. But when you kind of, as you said, peel the layers back of that, why am I feeling this way? Right For us to even recognize that you're upset, right, or you're angry or frustrated, or you're hurt, why is this hurting me? It shouldn't be that serious, right, but it is. It feels that serious in the moment and peeling back the layers of that onion to figure out where this is truly coming from. 100% this situation. But there is something there, it is a residual of something that you've already experienced that now this situation is mirroring for you.
Kertia:So, being able to do that there are so many aspects and ways that we can talk about it from, but I love that you mentioned that. When it comes to parenting, I think that's one area where a lot of us can agree. Listen, and I think that's one area where a lot of us can agree the triggers are real.
Kertia:And you know you see a lot of us also see parts of ourselves in our children even parts of ourselves that we do not readily own or acknowledge, or parts of ourselves that we've tried to tuck away. And then when we see that in our kids, then we have that really strong emotional reaction to that Right when truly the child is being the child, but they're mirroring something to us, something that we need to learn. It's a lesson, it's pointing us in a direction that we truly need to look at. So definitely, definitely love that you mentioned that. You also spoke about our affairs.
Kertia:I think a lot of us that has experienced trauma we do take part in holding ourselves back a lot in our lives right and it might look differently for everyone, whether it be holding yourself back in your love life or in other personal relationships, in your career or anything that you want to do for yourself, because there's affairs, there's limiting beliefs, there is self-worth issues. I've struggled hugely with self-worth issues and so a lot of my decision-making were fear-based and based on am I good enough to show up in this space? Am I worthy? Is my voice important? So I've also had to work through a lot of that and a lot of the ways that I've helped out myself was a huge self-worth thing. It was a huge, um fear of showing up for myself because I was afraid of the people and the society and what people would think and all those things.
Kertia:And my experience my experience taught me that I wasn't worthy. That was the messaging that I got Right, and so I took that with me and I just vomited all of that all over my life. So you know like when I was in that state of being unaware of my trauma and my triggers and all those things, you can't imagine what my life looked like. It was a mess. It was a mess. So my decision making was a mess. The way that I perceived myself was a mess. The way that I perceive situation was not the best as well, and so my choices in a lot of situations were not the best, even though I was trying my best. It's the best that I could have done at the moment with the information that I had. So, um, yeah, definitely resonates with everything that you just said. You know what would you say because you spoke about meditation, yoga. We talked about the somatic um practices. You know like different things work for different people. What is your mainstay right now?
Dominiece:For just healing in general.
Kertia:Yeah, healing or any work that you're, just because, of course, healing is, you know, continuous, it doesn't end. So like what does your routine look like? So like what is your routine? Okay?
Dominiece:Yeah, okay, got you. So I have for the last four and a half years, in 20, it started at the end of 2019. So I had my second daughter in September 2019. And at that time, I was working a nine full-time, nine to five job and I have been constantly advocating for better pay, better benefits, you know all of all of the things, and that had been really the entire time that I was at this job and I took a maternity leave. They weren't trying to pay me what I was asking for. I had brought in at this point so much because I was in grant writing and fundraising. I had fundraised millions of dollars at this point.
Kertia:And.
Dominiece:I was frustrated because I wasn't asking for a lot, and so, on my maternity leave, I decided to step away from that job and my goal at the time was a brick and mortar natural hair salon in my city. And then COVID happened and that got shut down. So financially I was out of money from that Unemployed. My marriage was on the rocks at that time and I had a newborn and I had a three-year-old and I had no plan. It was just like okay, this is like too much for me. Like okay, this is like too much for me.
Dominiece:So I started praying and meditating because really that was the only thing I knew at that point to do was to surrender and hope that spirit would throw me a lifeline right, like throw me some answers. And one day when I was meditating, I got a whisper that guided me to focus on my mind, body and spirit every day for the next 90 days. And I came out of that meditation, I wrote it down, I was really excited about it and I jumped in right away. It was either that same day or the next day and I started doing these daily practices of nourishing my mind, my body and my spirit. And, kersha, I did that straight for 90 days. Now, the first couple of weeks I'm not even going to front because at that point I was super inconsistent. So it was. It was a struggle like to to be consistent with these things, but I kept pushing through, like I was really forcing and challenging myself to do it and, of course, like we were all on you know, quarantine and there was nothing else to do, and so it was a great time for me.
Dominiece:So, fast forward to the end of that 90 day period, and I was really like I came out. I came out of it feeling so alive and awakened and it was like coming out of this fog that I've talked to you about, that I had been in my whole life and I didn't even realize that I was in this fog until after this point and I really was transformed. It was the beginning of my transformation. I felt so good that I wanted to share that with everyone, and so I started sharing on social media and inviting family members and friends to be a part of it, and that was actually really the start of my coaching, because I wanted other women to experience the same thing. So I continued this daily practice since then and after that 90 days, I had lost about 15 pounds and the weight really just like melted off, like it wasn't hard, I wasn't doing a ton, but I was healing and, as a result, the physical weight that I was holding as a result of those internal things started to shift and fall away. I felt like I had more mental clarity, I had a greater sense of who I was. I was now becoming aware of the limiting beliefs and the unworthiness that I was holding, and all of this was as a result of that daily practice, and so I've been doing that since March of 2020.
Dominiece:Now, when I started to stepped back into entrepreneurship full-time a few months ago so I got separated and I'm working through a divorce, and so I took a while, I stepped away to really focus on my own mental health and I started working full-time. And when I came back to entrepreneurship a few months ago, spirit was now leading me to share out this daily practice, this daily routine that I was doing. So I was thinking, well, how can I explain this to people in a way that makes sense, feels practical, feels easy for them to do in the midst of a busy schedule? And I was, like I do, about 15 minutes of daily mindset work, and so that's listening to podcasts like this, motivational videos on YouTube, audible books. I do that for at least 15 minutes.
Dominiece:I do 15 minutes of a spiritual practice, meditation, journaling, getting out of nature.
Dominiece:That looks different from day to day, just based on what I need. Sometimes it's a guided meditation, breath work, like it shifts, and then I do 30 minutes of physical movement. So when I added all that up, it comes to one hour and I was like, okay, one hour, how much is one hour out of a 24 hour day? And it comes up to 4%. So I named this process the 4% formula, because I'm really only asking you to give yourself 4% of your entire day.
Dominiece:And so my routine, right, my ongoing routine, is nourishing my mind, body and spirit every single day, recognizing that we are all encompassing beings. We are not just these physical bodies. There's a mental, emotional part of us, there's a spiritual part of us, and sometimes we can do really well with focusing on one part, but then we neglect the other parts. But there's something really beautiful that happens you come into cohesion with your full self when you focus on feeding all of these parts of yourself, and so that's the practice that I do. It's the foundation for my coaching program, and now I'm beginning to share it out with other people, hoping that you know people listen and begin to practice this practice for themselves as well.
Kertia:That's amazing. I love that, thank you. The 4% formula yeah, I love that and, you know, I love the way that you broke it down into different things and people can arrange this, however, which way it works for them, whatever it is that you're interested in. Yeah, it makes it seem simpler, you know, because I know sometimes when, before I started working out, I used to think, do I have to do this for a whole hour, started working out, I used to think, do I have to do this for a whole hour, you know, like I don't want to work out for a whole hour, but these are things that you've heard before, like you work out for 45 minutes to an hour, and I used to hear that a lot.
Kertia:And I'm just like I'm not interested in working out for a whole hour, so like breaking it down into little chunks, like that. And, as you said, said when you work on all four areas, it's like a detox, like you losing weight during the highs of covid when you were doing that for 90 days. You know, just having this routine for 90 days it's literally a detox, yeah, and you were just losing the weight, naturally. Nothing, crazy, nothing, nothing, you know invasive, yeah, right, so it's literally a detox for your system. And when you can nourish all areas because the mind, the body, the heart, everything is really important. So I love, love that you, you like you really have that structured into the work that you do.
Kertia:I think that's really, really beautiful because it's it brings in like such a balance right, because there's a lot of personal trainers and like, yes, working out is great, there's nothing wrong with personal training, but I love, I love when there's just like this wholesome holisticness to wellness where, like you're really focusing on the entire person, entire being, the being in its entirety, rather than like yeah, we're gonna get you in shape, we're gonna get you an amazing physical shape and then that can come with a lot of things. Right, that can come.
Dominiece:You be in physical shape, but then you're feeling spiritually void or struggling mentally and emotionally you know all of those sorts of things and so we typically, as humans, are just like okay, the body, this is the piece I can touch, I can see, like I can resonate with that, but it's like, but you have a mind and you have a heart, and those parts of yourself also need to be fed.
Kertia:Exactly, Exactly I love that. So I'd love for you to talk a bit more about your book um whole space to heal. What can cause? I haven't. I haven't seen it, I haven't read it. So what can we expect from whole space to heal?
Dominiece:Yeah, um, so thank you for letting me talk about the book. One thing that I'm feeling on my heart that I just want to share before we transition is and I feel like it's important to share is that the 4% formula doesn't have to be done in one consecutive hour. So some people might hear that, like you said, and they're like, oh, I don't have an hour or I don't want to do this for an hour, but you can break that up throughout your day, and so the 15 minutes of spiritual practice is maybe 15 minutes in the morning, and that's how you start your day, and maybe that 15 minutes of mindset work is in the shower, getting dressed, loading the dishwasher, going for a walk and listening to the mindset piece, and so it doesn't have to all be done at once. It's a very practical way to go about life, even with a busy schedule, and so I just wanted to note that for folks that are listening, that might be interested in giving it a shot as far as the book goes. So the book is called Hold Space to Heal, and I wrote the book about a year and a half ago, coming out of so much transition it separated at that time and just going through so much of my own healing journey and again doing the practices that we've talked about. So I let me step back a little bit.
Dominiece:In the fall of 2021, I went through my first yoga teacher training and I had no idea how much transformation was about to happen as I was doing daily yoga, daily meditation, daily breath work and I have had this conversation with other yoga instructors and it's like no one prepares you for the amount of healing and transformation that you go through as you are working to become a yoga teacher for other people. So there was a lot that was coming up during this time. Right Like I was, I remember doing restorative yoga practices and it would just be like my body was like, oh, finally, she's still, like now we can bring up this memory for her to process, and I would just be crying and releasing and, you know, thinking about all of these thoughts and beliefs that I was holding, and so I went through that process and then I jumped right into a second yoga teacher training, which I would not suggest, and so within a matter of a six month time span, I had just kind of just gone through this like very deep healing process with those two certifications. And that was me coming out of that, realizing again how much I had been holding on to and wanting to now share my story. Because I resonated with what you said about like not feeling good enough, holding myself back, having all of these internal thoughts about my place in the world and what I was worthy of and what I deserved, and that was like how I existed and I did really good with covering that up. So I masked it right Like I appeared on the surface to be confident and to achieve and you know, be a high achiever. But when the curtains closed, the internal thoughts and dialogue was so dark, right Like it was so negative, and I didn't realize how much I had been masking until I started to peel that mask off when I was going through that process.
Dominiece:And so the book is really me being very vulnerable and sharing a lot of what I have been holding in hopes that one other people realize that stuff that we go through, like other people are experiencing the same things. Because that was the thing when I was in that space of feeling so unworthiness, I just thought it was me Right, and I just I was so afraid of putting myself out there because I felt like people would be on to me and see through me and that held me back. And so once I began to free myself of those stories I was like, oh, I have to share the things that are helpful. And so in the book I go through seven somatic practices and we've talked heavily about those practices today, but I talk about the practices that were helpful for me healing myself, right like healing the trauma that my body was storing.
Dominiece:Restoring, so physical movement, yoga, restorative yoga, yoga, nidra, breathwork, meditation, ecotherapy, which is technically not a body-centered practice but you get your body outside, so getting out in nature is such a healing practice. And I go deeper into how, the science behind why all of those practices are helpful. And then I have other people, other women, who shared their own stories of how these practices have been helpful for them. And so you get to see that you're not alone. You get to see you get to explore all of these different practices and to maybe just explore what could be helpful for you. And so the idea with seven practices is kind of just allow yourself to be curious, to see what resonates with you, what you might want to explore you don't have to do all of them and then to maybe find one or two that you can commit to consistently to support your healing process.
Kertia:Amazing. I love that, thank you. Yeah, I definitely experienced that, whereby people would look at me and they're like wow, kersha, like you always get everything you want, you're so. So this you're so that, um, look at this amazing thing that you're doing.
Dominiece:I'm just like if y'all only no idea right, only new the struggle yeah, let's struggle.
Kertia:I'm just like. You have no idea the way that I have to like push myself or talk myself through things sometimes just to get through it. Yeah, so there are many times when I've told people that I struggle with confidence and you're like no way, you're, like, one of the most confident people I know, just like and I laugh, I'm just like. This is something that I'm still working on, actually, but thank you right, because you, you know how to mask it.
Kertia:You know how to mask it, you know how to kind of push through, and some of us don't. Actually, um, not all of us are great at masking and pushing through.
Kertia:Some of us literally hide right and yeah, get stuck and try as much not to like surface, come up for air or just go outside. There are some of us that truly get stuck inside. You know, internally and physically as well. Right, it shows up differently for everyone. So I wanted to ask you with that in mind, what would you say? What words do you have for anyone who's experiencing that, like the self-worth issues, the self-esteem issues, the lack of confidence, or when you know you're holding yourself back, when you know that you are meant for something else, you're meant for more, but you don't kind of know how to get there there, yeah.
Dominiece:So one of the greatest things that going through this healing journey and really becoming a somatic practitioner has done for me is that it has helped me to understand the body and the mind-body connection. And so, when it comes to fear which is a lot of why we hold ourselves back, don't have confidence because we're afraid of what people are going to think when it comes to fear, it's not about not having fear. It's about having tools and resources and modalities that can help you to move through that fear, because the reality is that a part of the human experience is fear. No matter how successful people are, they are still experiencing fear. They just have gotten to a space where they don't get held back by it or they have tools that allow them to move through. And so we have to understand fear and then have practices that we can do to move through that fear, because it's going to come up. And if you aren't feeling fear, I always say that you aren't working hard, not working hard enough, but you aren't dreaming big enough, right? If you're, there's no fear. You're playing it too safe, right? So we have to recognize how fear shows up. So there's four fear responses that we all have as humans and they look very different in our modern society.
Dominiece:So you have fight, flight, freeze and then fawn, which is a more recent one that we're learning about, which is all about people pleasing and really working to appease other people. People pleasing and really, you know, working to appease other people. So fight. I've fallen a lot. You've fallen a lot. Me too, in my old relationship. I've fallen a lot. Fight is not just, like you know, throwing bows and fighting. Fighting is really living in a state of sympathetic dominance.
Dominiece:When you are constantly in a state of anxiety about life, fear, that body is in a constant state of threat. What happens when you're in that space is that you find yourself burning out a lot because your immune system, your nervous system, is overworking itself because of the perceived threat that you're constantly in. So that's the first one. You have flight, which shows up as really like numbing and shutting down, depression, feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated by the world. And this was really how I existed for most of my life. I was in a state of flight and I was kind of just numb and I was shutting out everything. It was too much. And then you have freeze, and that one is tricky because it can show up as procrastination, inaction, holding yourself back, having a fear of success or a fear of failure. Sometimes freeze can also. I struggled with this one.
Dominiece:It can be like getting stuck in a learning cycle where you're consuming information and, oh, I got to learn more, but you're not really taking any action and you're trying to tell yourself, oh, I'm busy, I'm doing the thing, but really you are holding yourself back by constantly feeling like you need to learn more, to be more and to be worthy. And then, of course, again, fon is people pleasing and just kind of doing whatever you need to do, sacrificing yourself or your work or your career, your partner, your children, in a way that's harmful to your wellbeing. So first we have to recognize what state of fear we typically lean heavier into right. We might see ourselves in all of them, but we kind of have one or two that are our dominant spaces. And then you have to have tools and resources to begin to work through that. So regulating your nervous system becomes really important, right? So when you begin to work through that, so regulating your nervous system becomes really important, right? So when you begin to calm the body down, the mind and body are connected. The mind is going to calm down as well. It's going to get out of that state of survival and fear that you're living in. So all of these somatic practices that we've been talking about today, doing those practices is a way to regulate the nervous system, and this is not just something you do once a week or once a month. It's not just going to the yoga class once a week. You are undergoing stress For most of us, I feel confident in saying, every single day, and so you have to be doing things to regulate the nervous system every day.
Dominiece:That's the first way to combat fear. The second thing we've talked about this one also is mindset work. Right, so our minds impact our reality. What we feel internally, we just mirror that in the world, and so the beautiful thing is that our brains are plastic and so they can stretch and change. When you begin to do mindset work, this daily mindset practice, you begin to form new neural pathways in your brain, you begin to unlearn some things and allow yourself to learn new things, and so we both talked about all of the unworthiness and the fear and the low confidence. By feeding your mind with positive things, you begin to become aware of those subconscious beliefs, with mindset work and you can question, right, does this serve me, is this true, or is it time to release that?
Dominiece:Talk therapy can also be a really helpful part of processing. And then the last thing is and you might be able to relate to this too Again, it's recognizing that fear is a natural part of being human and you have to just do it to get receipts that it's not true. So for me, when my mind would say, oh, you're not good enough, right, I would still do it to get receipts that it's not true. So for me, when my mind would say, oh, you're not good enough, right, I would still do it, and then be like, oh, that wasn't so bad. So now I have evidence that I am good enough, right, and that begins to quiet the internal voice that tells me that I'm not good enough. And so those are all ways that have been really helpful for me over the last few years, and these are like ongoing things that I have to do but to help quiet the fear that I typically, you know, feel and would let hold me back in the past.
Kertia:I love that. That was amazing.
Dominiece:Thank you.
Kertia:And I love how you touched on all four points of how we react to perceived threats. You know, in this modern society and I think of I think we all somehow experience all of it, but we do lean heavier into certain ones, Right? So I love that you pointed that out, like knowing which one you lean heavily into and then knowing how to work through that, and that's, that's a good, good starting point.
Dominiece:So thank you so much for mentioning that and knowing your triggers, because that's important too. So for me. I used to burn out all the time like becoming aware of the signs and the triggers of wherever you typically lean, letting yourself be aware, because you start to notice those patterns and those habits and you catch yourself before you necessarily go to that dark space.
Kertia:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is so true. Learning your triggers is a huge one, it's a huge, huge one. Yeah, because now, like even with me, as I said earlier, when something triggers me, I can, you know, even though I might have the reaction, sometimes I might kind of lose myself for a bit and have the reaction, but then I'm able to kind of bring it back a bit and there are times when I can catch myself before I have the reaction.
Kertia:But you know, regardless, I can identify where the trigger is coming from, just like okay, there is more to work on here. You know like we still got work to do here. So, yeah, it's really important to know your triggers. Thank you so much. This was an amazing conversation. Can we find your work? Where can we get your book? Tell us all the good stuff.
Dominiece:Yeah, so we've talked about so many things today, so the book is on Amazon. It's called Hold Space to Heal Seven Somatic Practices to Help you Release, reconnect and Remember. And then as far as the 4% formula, so you asked me about my daily routine, if anyone listening or if you are interested in learning more, I have a 30-day challenge where each week we build this practice. So it's not just like tomorrow. You jump into all the things. It's almost like a trickle. We start with week one and it's just mindset. Week two we add on the spiritual practice and then week three we add on the body. And so if you're interested in that practice and just seeing how you feel after a month of trying something that might be completely different for you and just allowing yourself to really nourish all the parts of yourself, you can go to 4percentformulacom and four is spelled out F-O-U-R, so 4%formulacom and get that challenge, get you know accountability sheets and all of the practices, examples of practices that can be helpful for just allowing yourself to really nourish yourself fully Beautiful.
Kertia:Thank you so much.
Dominiece:Yeah, thank you for having me. I've enjoyed this conversation today. It's been such an honor to chat with you.
Kertia:I enjoyed this conversation so much. Dominiece does phenomenal work and I definitely respect the journey that she's currently on. Let me know what you think about this episode. Just follow the link to 'Text Our Show' in whichever app you use to listen to your podcasts. You'll see that link right above the show notes of each episode. Love to hear what you all have to say and, continue to share this podcast with your friends and family. Thank you so much for being a part of this community. Love to you all. Until next time.
