The Other Side of Fear
The most important life hack you'll need: A Holistic Guide to Get You Unstuck.
Self improvement topics covering mental health, trauma, limiting beliefs, mindset, spirituality, energy healing, mindfulness, and purpose.
The Other Side of Fear explores thought provoking stories about the types of fears that are triggered by our individual insecurities, conditioning and traumas. We examine the role of societal conventions and how they function as a strong determinant, in how we often choose to address our most personal struggles.
Our guests discuss how they navigate through various challenges, while taking ownership of their true desires. Giving you a gentle push, to live in a way that honors your authenticity. What does it mean to lean into fear? How can we recreate our stories and embrace the unknown? What does the other side of fear look like for you?
This is a reminder that, your fears are as big and as scary as you allow them to be. Your purpose is greater than the fear that hinders you.
Are you ready to unlearn and undo the old programs and reconnect with your truth?
The Other Side of Fear
Trauma Bonds, Generational Curses & African Ancient Quantum Healing | with Gao Motsemme
Key Takeaways:
- If your wound is too loud, your actions will be based on that wound, instead of being rooted in your intuition.
- Patriarchy made women powerless by disconnecting them from their wombs; and made men powerless by disconnecting them from their hearts.
- The link between sexual energy and our motivations. The driving force behind manifesting the things we desire.
This episode with Gao Motsemme, a practitioner of African Ancient Quantum Medicine (Human MRI and Psychic Surgeon) explores the multilayered process of healing, emphasizing the importance of connecting with our bodies and acknowledging our wounds to truly heal. Touching on toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, trauma bonds, intimate relationships, sexual energy and ancestral healing, this episode is a treasure trove of golden nuggets to help you get yourself and your life right, while holding you accountable.
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⚠ HEALTH DISCLAIMER ⚠
All health and mental health topics within the content of this body of work are for informational, discussion, reflective, and entertainment purposes only. The contents of this work are not intended to be a substitute for medical or professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Always seek the advice and care of qualified healthcare practitioners, with any questions or concerns you may have regarding the condition of your mental health and overall health. Take all advice from your health providers seriously and do not refrain from nor delay seeking medical attention or otherwise professional advice related to your health and wellness.
The Other Side of Fear and its contents does not replace nor does it claim to replace the knowledge, expertise and advice of licensed healthcare professionals. Do not disregard instructions from your healthcare providers because of something you saw or heard on social media or from your favourite creators.
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Hey everyone, I hope you're all keeping well. There has been a lot happening in the world right now, so my heart goes out to anyone who has been impacted by the many catastrophic events of late, wherever you are in the world. My biggest hope and what I'm looking forward to for all of us, individually and as a collective, is that we move forward by transmuting the energies surrounding the pain, the fears and the various forms of suffering that we are experiencing. But, of course, it starts with you First, on the individual level, looking at the parts of you that you keep hidden, the parts that are chaotic, that are hurting, the parts that are fearful, angry or feel ashamed, because what we see in the world is just a reflection of what is already within us. So it is important that we reconnect with the light within ourselves so that we can then project that light outward into the world.
Kertia:And this conversation with my guest, Gao Motsemme, is so relevant right now because, as a healer, that is exactly what she helps people to do to heal on a multidimensional level, to transform their lives. So, as a human MRI and psychic surgeon, she sees and feels into the energy fields of individuals to help free them of old patterns, various ailments, stagnant energy and a lot of the things that often holds us back, so that they can live a more fulfilled, empowered life. And we touched on so many things in this episode toxic positivity, spiritual bypassing, trauma bonds, generational curses and cutting the cords with past lovers, oh my goodness. But one thing I appreciated about what she had to say about cord cutting is that it's not about cutting the cord per se, but about neutralizing the energy that led to the attraction in the first place. And an interesting thing happened during this recording, because she even picked up on the energy around the ovarian cysts that I've had for many years in both ovaries, without having any prior knowledge about me. So, yeah, that was. That was really interesting, interesting.
Kertia:But what I also love about this conversation is when we spoke about the importance of being in the body, learning how to be in the body, especially as it relates to those of us who have experienced trauma that has caused us to disassociate from the body. Reconnecting with the body is so important for healing, and the truth is that a lot of us are disconnected from our bodies without even knowing it. And I truth is that a lot of us are disconnected from our bodies without even knowing it, and I'll be the first to admit that I've been that person who has, due to childhood sexual trauma, disconnected from my body. But, as always, the first step towards healing our pain is to actually recognize it, to acknowledge it, to own it. You know, sitting with your truth and giving it your full awareness and, as Gao says, hold space for the wound that's created it. Sometimes we are still so situated so deeply within that wound that we don't know how to hold space for ourselves, for the wounded child within us, and that's why healers like Gao are so helpful, because they are equipped to help us get there.
Kertia:But she said something that really drove this message home, and this that you can't heal what you don't feel. You can't heal what you don't feel. You can't heal what you don't feel. You can't mindset yourself out of healing. You have to sit with the wound, feel it and listen to it. When she said that, that hit the spot. That hit the spot. That hit the spot like, take a second and take it in. But I say this to say that let's put an end to the spiritual bypassing that so many of us are good at and let's take the mask off so that we can truly see ourselves.
Gao:I always say this actually, like, some things are just bridges, yeah, so if you wanna camp on a bridge, build a house on a bridge, then it's gonna be painful.
Kertia:Oh my god, I like that though. Yeah, a lot of people are building a lot of things on bridges.
Gao:Absolutely.
Kertia:I've built a few things on bridges too.
Gao:We learned the hard way right, oh my gosh, I have learned the hard way. I did too. I did too. I didn't get here overnight, and I actually say this when I'm talking to my clients and say you know what, don't be stubborn as I was If.
Kertia:I wasn't stubborn.
Gao:I wouldn't have experienced a lot of pain, but somehow I was fighting with life Instead of making love with it.
Kertia:I like that, but what do you mean by? You were stubborn with life. What was it that you were fighting Because? Did you like, intuitively, like, know something that you went against? What do you mean by that?
Gao:It's quite interesting because I'm wondering if I believe that we always know, like. For me, it's like every single decision choice that I made, I knew, but somehow I always like this. This is what I believe, and this was my case. If your wound is too loud, you're going to ignore your intuition and listen to your wound. So I listened to my wound rather than where my intuition was guiding me. So every time when I knew that there's a no, but I'll try to logically twist everything around. Oh yeah, especially when it comes to relationship, I fell in love with potential, you know, but the potential that needed to be unleashed was mine yeah, I think a lot of us do that a lot, falling in love with potential.
Kertia:Yeah, yeah, I've done that a few times, very painful, very painful, yeah, yeah, um, so you know, you say you're a psychic surgeon. What does that mean? What is a psychic surgeon? What do you do as a psychic surgeon?
Gao:that's a good question. As a psychic surgeon, I do surgeries, but before I can get to the surgeries that I do which is like psychically, I don't get to open anyone's body, but I just do what I need to do and let everyone be okay without scars. So I want to connect with somebody, I get to scan their body and sometimes it's not like I want to have a conversation, but the body will reach out to me, literally, whether someone is sending me a message like hey, whatever that they're talking about, if there is something that needs attention, whether it's an inner child or a deep pain, that's the first thing that will greet me. And this is what I'm also saying. You know, our energy says hi before we can open our mouth. So with me, that's the case.
Gao:When I connect with people, it's like I'm speaking to that energy, I'm speaking to that body, before I can hear what they're saying. So there's a lot of things that just jump out, showing up like hey, there is pain here, there is a negative entity, attachment here, there is whatever that is. This person is is in grief, like you know. So I I'm hit with all those things before we can get anywhere. So I get to know where the blocks are stored and all that, and then if they are open to really doing the work, then we go ahead and remove all that and bring in whatever codes that they need. That's what I do, nice.
Kertia:I like that. How do you, are you working with different spiritual beings? Like, how does it work for you, because I know like it works differently for different people. What is that process like when you're making that energetic connection?
Gao:um, I'm working with myself, with my higher self, I would say, and speaking with different spiritual beings. It's one thing that I would say. In the beginning I was like, yeah, I want to do that as well, but it was more coming from, I would say, from the ego. Also, especially when you're talking about angels, it's kind of like, okay, since I grew up in a religious family, maybe when I'm talking about angels they will understand that you know. But on the other hand, for me it was like, just come back to your roots, like this is the gift that I was born with. It's like I'm coming from a lineage of healers, you know, but many turned that back and went to religions and they didn't want to embrace who they fully are. So for me, it's connecting to myself, connecting to my high self, and the beautiful thing that I actually want to just touch on is that anyone who is also new in this spirituality journey and is kind of like, oh, I want to go out there and connect to whoever and whatever I often find that people are disconnected from their body and they want it's kind of like, oh, I want to go out there and connect to whoever and whatever I often find that people are disconnected from their body and they want it's kind of like I want to. Actually, I feel like it's avoidance in a way. They don't want to deal with that stuff, but it's kind of like I'm going to go out there in the cosmos and reach out and connect with somebody so that they don't get to be here and connect with what is here One way or the other. I would say that was also one of the reason, because it felt good to be out there, traveling in the clouds, connecting to whoever, but on the other hand, it opens you to a lot of discordant energies, because not everybody who comes through saying I'm an ascended master, I'm an angel or whatever they're not. They're not that for many generations we've had false beings claiming to be whatever they claim to be. You know. So if you are not connected to your body and able to descend, you're going to be attached to negative entities. You're going to attach to false ascended masters, false angelic beings. You know and think that you are going somewhere, but yet it's kind of like you're trapping your consciousness in whatever that is.
Gao:So when you are connected to your body one thing that I love about that it doesn't matter whether we're talking about physical beings or light beings, you know, or spirit beings, whatever you call it. But when you're connected to your body, you are here, you are present, you are able to discern, even when, whether it's a spiritual being coming through, you get to know first. First thing, you can tell just by feeling into your energy whether this is like it feels lighter. Is it pure light and love, or it's just like false light. Uh, even when you're having a conversation with somebody, whatever that they say may sound good, this is why people will say, oh, I don't know how I missed that at Flex, because you are not present.
Gao:You went and held into all this information. You are in your mind. So anyone who comes in your mind and tell you what they tell you, you're going to fall for it. So it's kind of like you ask, because often it's like this mind controls you know. So mind controls you know. So it's very important that people first connect to themselves, because this life is the life that is important. This is the body that we are working. Whatever, whether it's you manifesting whatever you need in life, whether it's you bringing whatever spiritual codes, gifts, it has to be through the body. So if the if you're not connected to the body, if you don't have even the capacity in the body, whatever that you say you want, it's gonna be like out there, but you're not gonna be able to ground it and give birth to that. Because my strong belief is you can give birth to what you don't conceive yeah, definitely.
Kertia:You can't give birth to what you don't conceive. I love that, yeah, yeah, how would you say? How would you say, how would you say, let's backtrack a little bit, though. What initiated you on this path?
Gao:That's a good question too. I have always been who I am like, since, from childhood, my I was, I was, my journey was, was different, but, on the other hand, knowing what I knew as a child, the first thing that my family said was like, oh my god, you're gonna be a traditional doctor. I always say this with, uh, I mean, I'm an african, so I'm just gonna talk about that or people of color, whatever that is that we have a tendency of. Actually, we've been conditioned to be like that for a generation. You know, with being colonized and all that, it's kind of like our mind has been yeah, whatever that happened. So when I shared what I shared, the first thing was you're going to be a traditional doctor, like there is a calling here. The first thing was you're going to be a traditional doctor, like there is a calling here, but you need to go to church, get baptized and follow whatever that is. Let's kind of like do that to avoid this, like that was the first advice that I got, you know. So I went to church.
Gao:I was a church girl when I was young, but it's quite interesting because I have a distinct memory when I said I, I'm flipping tired, and I was still young, probably 12 or so, and we were coming from school playing with other children and I said something I think I said a swear word or something like that and every time, every time we did this, we'll sit down and then pray. And then and I do it again, and then I sit down and pray and someone is like I'm flipping tired, you know, I'm tired of praying for forgiveness. I can't, you know, and for me that's when I started backtracking, like from church and all that, and I still remember my mom at times would be like I really don't know what happened to this child. You know, I don't know what happened to her. She used to go to church. She was just a nice girl because then I wasn't a nice girl, you know, I don't know what happened to her. She used to go to church.
Kertia:She was just a nice girl.
Gao:Because then I wasn't a nice girl, you know. So I went through life and one other thing again that is very important is that being in a dysfunctional family, which we often don't embrace or just accept, this is where I was born. You know, this is what I was born into. You know, we don't acknowledge that, we shy away from it. So for me, there was that as well, and just even speaking the truth, even though it's uncomfortable, I was that child who was like just outspoken, and often I was just labeled as crazy. You know, like she's crazy, that one, okay, whatever, I'm crazy, cool.
Gao:So, growing up with that and being different from my siblings which is something that my mom always used to say you are not like my other children, you know. So I felt kind of like isolated, you know, like I didn't belong, you know. So, growing up with that and then going out there to college and then starting to work, being in relationships, there was a part of me that, at the same time, wanted to belong and even having these gifts, there are times when I shared it and then you are weird, don't tell me anything if you see anything. So you don't want to be weird, right? So I started suppressing it. But even if I did, there was a part of me that if I go for some time and not getting certain, there was just like kind of like the connection that I had. You know, every time I'll be aware of things. So if that is not happening, I would stop, because I used to go out basically drink every weekend, but when I realized that I'm not getting anything, I stop and recoup, and then that's when I will continue. I'm not getting anything, I stop and recoup, and then that's when I will continue with whatever that was happening. So I always had that connection with with souls, with God, whatever we call it, you know. But there was. I was not connected, fully embodying it. I was staying away from it, you know, and I also wanted to belong.
Gao:There was a part of me that suppressed my authentic me, you know, and being in meetings, being with friends, I was always in my head Like I would say something. They're like oh, that's stupid. Why did you say that? You know being picked up by my boss, because there's patterns of dysfunction. They don't just stop at home, they'll show up in romantic relationship, they'll show up in your profession, in your business, you know. So I had that at work and being an accountant, because I was an accountant, so that was a big part of my identity in the sense of it's something that was accepted in the society, so it esteemed me. So when I lost my corporate job which was like in a big company, you know, higher paid job and everything it's kind of like I lost my identity.
Gao:And that's when the shit started really going down, because shortly after I had this vision of my younger brother having an accident and then two weeks later he had that accident and a year later my mom passed on and shortly after I started this, yeah, court case with with the, with the father of my children, a custodian case and all that which was messy in its own way, you know. So it's kind of like like everything was kind of like I don't, I don't believe this like why is this happening? It's kind of like everything was just a surprise. Especially being a single parent, you know I was taking care of everything.
Gao:The father was not really there and something that also pissed me off to say oh, so men can choose not to be there for their children and whenever they show up, they show up and everything has to stop and get that way, you know. So I had that in me. So that was, I would say that was like an initiation really, because I was, I was livid, I was like I don't think there's any word that can really I was like the embodiment of victimhood you know, yeah, and rightfully, rightfully so, because even when I spoke to people, when I shared, like this is what is happening?
Gao:like from back home, some people were like, hmm, I don't, like there's something that you might not be telling us because you are not married to this man. So what do you mean? Like we don't understand. Like what are you talking about? So it was not a normal case, you know.
Gao:So through that pain, and then I met my now ex-husband. So I believe the whole thing because the whole thing started um, I already met him my fiance by then so I think the whole agenda behind it was more like to sabotage that, or me relocating with the children and stuff like that. But at some point I had to also put on that brave, courageous heart and everything and I just said F it, I'm not going to sit here and die a slow death with all the drama that is surrounding me. Then I decided to relocate, despite all that, I said I'm going to fight this while I'm away, which was also making that decision led to also judgment, criticism, blame, you know, from other people. Yeah, but the most important thing that I want to identify here is there was a moment when I was coming from work. I was here and then I had this, just this nudge. I was just excited. I'm like I just want to write, like I wanted to write. I didn't know what I was going to write.
Gao:So I came and then I went to a shower, took a shower, then I went to the dining room, I sat down, I took some papers and started writing. And what I started writing was who are you without your mother, without your father, without your religion, without your job, without a house? I started writing all these things, husband, like I'm writing all these things, and I'm like, wow, this is good. So I'm just I would say I was reading it, but from the ego, not fully connected with it, because I'm thinking it would be nice to share this with other people. But at the end, after listing everything, who are you without your children? End after listing everything, who are you without your children? And I threw away that pen and I was like this is for me and I started bawling. I just cried and the next question was but who am I? Because I didn't know who I was.
Gao:As women, we are esteemed by our children. At times it's like being a daughter, being a mother, all those things being a husband, a wife and all that we're holding into the labels and all these positions. So at that moment, that was a moment when I was in pain but I didn't know who I was, and that was like a big journey. And the next thing, like it was a lot of things that happened, but I was just told it's time to do what you came here to do, yeah. So that was like the beginning of of of everything. But I would say all the challenges, everything that I lost along the way, including my children, was an initiation to my work, because it was like the universe was ripping me of everything that I thought I was, everything, so that I could be naked and find who I am. You know, it was happening for me because all these things I always say the religious system, family, society, culture, political education always tells us who we are before we can find who we are.
Kertia:Yeah.
Gao:When life is happening, it's happening to say release all that and allow the real you to emerge.
Kertia:Yeah, that is so deep and so true. You know, we, especially as women it happens with men as well but woman has these extra labels and roles that we're expected to abide by, and your identity gets absorbed by so many things that has nothing to do with who you are at your core. So, yeah, that was, that was deep. How can you you know, because you know you talk a lot about reconnecting with our bodies how can we begin to reconnect with our bodies and what do we need to know before you know even going on that path?
Gao:That's a great question and it's taken me to one thing that I love to do first. So when I get on a podcast I didn't do it here, but yeah and when I start, of course now I'm just going to tell you about this I love to start with my native language greetings, which, on the other hand, talking about it, it's more like going back to our roots. You understand, you can do it. Yeah, that's the beginning. So, within my native language, for instance, when we greet each other, it's more we say Dumelang, dumelang, lokai, and I love using those words because Dumelang means agree, lokai means where are you, as in locate yourself. So when you say, how do we connect to our body? First thing, the thing is what are you agreeing to? Right? Because even when I say, go back to your roots, go back to your roots, you're going. The thing is, what are you agreeing to? Right? Because even when I say go back to your roots, go back to your roots, you're going to find things that are great. You're going to find things that are not so great, but at the end of the day, at a soul level, you have agreed with those things.
Gao:We have agreements, vows, contracts, family. So, at a family level, societal, tribal, even collective consciousness. So, whether you are aware of it or not, you have agreed to this dance and now we get to consciously choose what is it that we are agreeing to? Because, if you ask me, how do I know? The universe is like it's holding a mirror all the time. Within your relationship, relationships, actually, whether it's romantic or professional, you always see what is playing around because we are relational. Relationships are the best thing that teaches us about ourselves. What is it that you see in the mirror, whether it's in your partner, with your children, friends, family what do you see? And this is the time for you to look at that, you know, because when you're talking about being connected to your body being grounded, it starts with going to the things that ungrounded you. If you are plugged into templates that are not making it safe for you to be here, then you are disconnected and I don't know. I'm just going to follow what is coming through, because right now, what is coming through and it's quite interesting because I was trying to ignore that what came through was like there is this pain that, like I'm aware that it's like anchoring in, especially on the left right pelvic area. I'm aware that it's like especially on the left right pelvic area. I'm aware of that. So it's kind of like that's what came through first.
Gao:But then what is coming through to speak about is that some people cannot feel safe in their body because they felt not wanted when their mother, for instance, was conceived with them. So they felt that rejection from when they were just in the womb. So we need to go there and and and and disconnect from that, or even get to understand because, if at all, your mother was pregnant and your father said I don't want anything to do with this child, or somehow whatever, you absorbed all of that. You made it all about you. You exchanged some energy and took some energy from your parent, you know, and you you felt it's quite interesting because it's kind of like this is where I am, because, as I'm speaking about, as it started on the right, on the right pelvic area, and now it's going on the left, it's kind of like um, like poking, really, you know. So when you felt that I don't want this child, and when it comes to pregnancy, not everyone has been planned, actually, most of the most of us. We are not planned babies, you know, and we have the children. It's just like we're gonna have sex and then, oh, there is a child here. Oh my god, what are we gonna do? Right, only a few have been planned. So, depending on the situation, the first thing is kind of like, oh my god, I'm not gonna. I, I don't know if I want to have this child.
Gao:You know especially that the environment that that we are born in, even when it comes to sex, like sex before marriage, it's. There is a shame there. Now imagine when you fall pregnant before you are married. You know, even if it's because people will be like, oh, nowadays it doesn't matter. It may not matter nowadays, but the imprints that have been around informs us they cause that shame. Just unconsciously there is that. Even when people are asking so, when are you getting married? It's not like getting married, this dude doesn't even want this child. What are you talking about? You know so because growing up, like when I was young, I used to see like girls that were older than me and all that it was very common in the past that men used to deny their children. These days, like that has shifted big time. So you can imagine now, when we go back, how, how this was perceived and all that. So this is like the first thing, going back to the situation that made us not feel safe in our body, you know, because there is also all this body image, body image shaming and all that.
Gao:And another thing that I also speak about is our sexual story, because our sexual energy it's. It's connecting us to the desires, it's bringing us to the body. If I'm seeing somebody that I'm attracted in, for me to feel that I get to be here. Even if you want to make love with your partner, you're feeling it in your body, even though the truth of it is, most people they leave their body as in like kind of like they leave themselves because they want to satisfy the other person. They do not know how to be and allow themselves to receive this pleasure and still share it while they're still connected to their body.
Gao:So your story of your sexual energy as well is like one big one, not just the sexual activity, but what is your connection to your sexual energy? Because when I look at many societal beliefs and a lot of stuff, even religions, honestly there is that still shame around the sexual energy. You know, sex is a sin and all that. So when you look at it like, sexual energy is the life force energy. It's that energy that makes us come alive. It's the energy of creation, it's the energy of multiplication, right? So if we are shy from this energy, which is truly, this is why there is so much darkness, there is so much abuse around the sexual energy. It's life, but it's life that is. It has been suppressed, repressed and used in darkness, so we are disconnected from it. Even when we're having sex.
Gao:It's just common that for you to have sex, you have to switch off the lights and all that. You don't have to see what is happening. It's something that is not spoken about. You know, even in social media, if you post something about sex, it's kind of like your video or whatever is not supposed to be seen or something like that. It's something that we don't talk about, and yet there is a lot of shame, there's a lot of abuse around there.
Gao:So your sexual story is very important, first thing because, on the other hand, it's connected to your desires, your true soul desires.
Gao:If you're saying I want to know my purpose, your purpose is connected to this energy. It's what is going to drive you when you feel that there is something that I'm being called to do. You may not know what it is, but that desire will lead you and when you are present enough, when that thing comes through or you see somebody doing what you know at your soul level that this is what you are meant to do, it's going to activate you. You're going to say this is what I want to do. I can do that as well, because it's in you, you were born with it.
Gao:But if you are connected from your sexual energy, you are not connected to your desires, right? You don't even know what you want. It's kind of like I have to ask somebody else waiting for your partner to say, hey, I want to have sex. You don't know. You know, especially women, I say patriarchy made women powerless by shutting off their womb and it made men powerless by shutting off their womb and it made men powerless by shutting off their hearts. I don't know if that answers your question or is the long part of answering it yeah, that is true.
Kertia:That is so true, you know. Let's talk about that a little bit more, about how we can use our sexual energy in healing ourselves, how we can use it to reconnect back to our bodies and connect that to our purpose. I love when you were talking about how that is, that that energy is so important, because it is actually what drives you right. It's that energy that gets you moving.
Gao:Yeah, yeah, it makes you say yes to life and sexual energy. It's quite interesting how this, like I would say this is like the most important thing, and it's not only sexual, it's like sexual activity, it's spiritual.
Kertia:Yeah.
Gao:Because when you are having sex good sex, having an orgasm there is like a temporary death. That happens in the sense of when you are having that orgasm, it's kind of like you leave your body for a bit and that's like the highest level of vulnerability because everything is gonna take over. You don't know what's gonna come through at that moment. This is why some people be making noise, and sometimes it can open you up. Isn't like that hard orgasm, really, where you start crying? Emotions are happening, because we are not used to this highest level of of of joy, bliss and all that, even though we claim to want it, you know, but we some, most people do not have the capacity for it. So when that happens, it's kind of like they don't know what has happened. And even in the moment, like that moment, do you feel free to just embrace where you are at, because that's the part of being whatever that is showing up. I'm going to be present with it, if at all.
Gao:You are having an orgasm and then you start tearing. It has opened your heart. Are you comfortable just allowing yourself to be with those tears? And how about your partner? Who are you merging with? Right, and which is also important because this is the energy that connects us beyond the. I am with my partner or not.
Gao:When the relationship ends, these chords they don't just end. So at times, if someone is stuck in a toxic relationship, when the relationship ends and it's kind of like I move on and all that, you are still connected. When somebody is on the other side, they say what they say or they feel a certain way about you. You are feeling it as if it's you, but it's kind of like you're being controlled by them. And on the other hand, especially we talk about this energy when it comes to maybe stds and and all that what we don't realize is there is those spiritual disease, you know, where it's kind of like you are connecting with. If your partner is a cheater, that means you're connecting to everyone that he's connected to. So it gets messy. So what I've realized with the people that I work with is that sometimes their life is doing well, like they're doing well, but then they connect with somebody who either has a negative energy addiction, there's entities, because it also is one energy that is loved by a lot of vibration. You know those dark entities and stuff. So if you are with somebody who is maybe they're just sleeping with many people, they just become a portal for this negative energy, you know. And then you come and sleep with them for this negative energy, you know. And then you come and sleep with them Because, as a woman, like when they say, when you give a woman something, they multiply it. On the other hand, when you look at our genitals, they are inside. That means if somebody penetrates you, they're going to leave whatever that they have, they're going to leave it within. This is why I'm not a big fan of what do they call it Makeup sex or whatever. You know and say, oh, makeup sex is good or whatever.
Gao:People are angry and then from there you have sex with your partner because you are there, is like that force and all that. But what you don't realize, especially for women, is that what you're doing is you are taking whatever. That is because men use sex to sort of like release, relieve themselves from all the emotional stress and all that. So you are kind of like a garbage can or whatever instead of love. So it also comes with intention. Wherever that you use it.
Gao:Well, what are you creating? What is your intention with it? That you use it? Well, what are you creating? What is your intention with it? You know, it's more like living with intention, making love with intention and being aware of the person that you get to be with. Because if somebody has all this pent up emotions and everything, anger, and then they penetrate you, they leave that within you. For the men it's kind of like they release that, but you get to hold that. This is the seeds that you're going to create, whatever that you're going to create from. So it's not just about somebody is going to ejaculate in you and then you're going to have a child. There is your desires that you are holding in your womb, and for men, it's in the ahara. It's your womb, it's a creation space. When I say you can't give birth to what you don't conceive, so when you are disconnected from your womb, from your body, you can't feel it Because your energy is drained. Your energy is scattered in so many people.
Kertia:Yeah.
Gao:When do you have time to create?
Kertia:Yeah, yeah, definitely. How do we begin? You mentioned the spiritual cords that are still connected with the previous partners. Or, if you have a partner that's intimate whether they're cheating or I don't know open relationship, whatever the situation is, and they have other partners, how do we cut the cords?
Gao:I love that. And here's the thing I wouldn't say cut the cords, because I know that's what was being thrown away in this virtual community. But first thing, you have to utilize whatever that you're holding within you that attracted you to that. Because if you're just cutting cords and there is a part of you, first thing we attract who we are cutting cords and there is a part of you first thing we attract. We attract who we are right, that is, there is a part of us that attracted that, because the wound always wants to heal. So if you attract someone that is you and then you cut, it's kind of like you're also cutting a part of you and this is also what causes pain in a lot of people.
Gao:I always say people are not hurt by love. People are hurt by the denial of love when a relationship ends or for somebody to get out of a relationship. This is what people think. It's kind of like child thinking or whatever. Oh, I can't leave this person yet because I still love this person, right.
Gao:So they're going to sit there and kind of like, create this monster. You know, like watch everything that they're doing and create this thing, to say this person is a monster or whatever, and then from there, when now they've built this big monster, it's kind of like now I have a reason to leave this person because this person is a monster, or the relationship ends and you're gonna try to shut off your heart by all means so that you can, you can forget about the person, and what you're doing is you are shutting off the part of you that fell in love with that person, so you are losing an aspect of yourself. It doesn't matter whether you take this person and put him in a toilet or whatever cave, because you're just so flipping tired with with him and all that flash him.
Kertia:You are flashing yourself, baby, you understand I'm sure we've all felt that way at one point in time absolutely, absolutely, you know, but what is happening here is that's the you that you are dealing with.
Gao:so, first thing, it's more like when I say neutralizing what, what? The part of you that are attracted to, that it's kind of like you get to love and also face the shadows that you don't love in the other person, because we fall in love with the part of ourselves that we love and you fall out of love with our shadows, the part of us that we have not fully integrated and loved.
Kertia:Yeah, wow, yeah, yeah, that's profound, definitely. Wow, yeah, yeah, that's profound, definitely. Like you to take me through the process of neutralizing that energy, because, of course, you don't want to cut that part of yourself away that was connected and loving this person right, because, as you said, it's like taking a part of you. So how do we, how do we learn to neutralize that energy appropriately?
Gao:When I say let me just give you everything, which is it's everything and it's nothing Like, there's like the whole truth, the truth of it is you get to be with what is you know being. This is what you call embodiment, instead of you running to the mind and saying I'm positive or I don't care about a man or whatever. If you are hurting, you are hurting. And here's also the crazy thing. People use people who were born in those dysfunction, who saw those dysfunction. They confuse codependency, okay, with like, unconditional, with unconditional love, like, though, because I used to that. Then they'll say, oh, but I love this person, or I have forgiven or whatever. You know even loyalty, the thing that sacrifice and and suffering is being loyal. You know so, yeah, so when I say, be with yourself. But you can't be with yourself if your attention is more, even people pleasing, and more in, how can I make him feel better so that he can love me? Because all this is coming from the wounded space. You know so when you you can't be with yourself if you don't know how to be with yourself, if you are not even your body, because at times when you're going through different, whether it's like as a child or you go through life and things happen and then you leave your body, you disconnect from your body, so you don't know how to be with yourself. You don't know how to be in the body because of whatever that transpired, you may not even be in the body.
Gao:This is why, at times, people will be like I did a lot of healing but nothing is happening. Heck yeah, because you are not here and not many people. Because here's the thing thing. People will say like we are all healers in the sense of we can heal ourselves, but not everybody's a healer. Going to do and learn something here doesn't mean that like someone has that within them. So when somebody, when I'm coming in with a template of saying this or look at this or whatever, and I'm not present, because, most honestly speaking, most people are not connected, they are not in that body yeah here and you try to help somebody while you are not connected, first thing, your wound is gonna make me uncomfortable to sit with it, so I'm gonna try to get away with it like, hey, just just forgive.
Gao:You know you're strong and all that. I'm not holding space. Because you are not holding space for that, for that inner child, because you never learned how and it's your wound, it's kind of like you are in it, you know. So you need somebody who can hold space for, for this child, and say this is what this child is feeling. Because actually this is like what happens when someone has worn the mask and they're comfortable with this. Brave, it's all, fine, I'm good.
Kertia:I'm good I am forgiven.
Gao:And then you say something I said I have forgiven, you understand, but when you look at the inner child, the inner child is crying, the inner child is angry and all that, but they are showing up with this, whatever. So it needs somebody who can discern is this person reading the body or they're just like trying to? That's, that's what you are by a person that we talk about, or even the, the, the mental self-love, which is what is more out there why? Why is this? Because that we we're running with information. We know, know a lot, but we are not it. So we don't have the capacity to deal with life. We have an illusion of emotional resilience. So for me to say, be with that.
Gao:While you are, everything just kind of like takes you out because you don't know how to be. And there is this whole false thing of of of being positive. We run to being positive because the only way that being positive can be, so like meaning a lot, is because we are judging the other right, that is negative, that is, and that judgment is also what we have within ourselves. When you get to an understanding that everything just is, then you can hold space for all aspects of yourself, because you can't heal what you do not feel. You can't. You can't mentalize healing, you can't mind yourself, mindset yourself out of healing. You get to be with it, you get to see it absolutely, and it's true what you say you.
Kertia:There is so much information out there that we have access to, and it's easy to read books and meditate and do all the things and say, yeah, I'm healed or I'm healing. But you truly have to embody that. You know, it's not like keeping it up here, like, yeah, I read the book and the book said this and this is what I, these are the things that I'm doing, but you truly have to embody that, and a part of embodying it is to also sit with everything that comes out of that the emotions, the feelings, the, the negativity, the heaviness. You have to sit and deal with that face, those parts of yourselves that are hurt, that are in pain, you know, that have been fragmented, that has been disconnected. So, yeah, like that is that is so true.
Kertia:You know, the embodiment of all of that is is that missing link that I think we all struggle with to some extent? Right? And it's to come back to yourself, get back into your body and allow yourself to go through the entire process of it, because I think, as you said, you can't positive think and mindset your way out of things. You know you can't be up here. You have to be in your heart. You have to be in your heart. You have to be in your heart. You have to be in your heart, you have to be in your body, right, and a lot of people they're still like in their head about it. Right, you can't mindset your way through healing, right? It has to, like, start from here, from your heart. So, yeah, absolutely, yeah, definitely, definitely. What is like maybe one of the most profound breakthroughs you've had with your clients in, you know, ancestral healing or any type of healing that you've done with them?
Gao:It's quite interesting because, like many are popping up at once. I'm like, okay, which one should I talk about? But there are many. Honestly, it's quite interesting. I'm just going to talk a little bit about each of the three that popped up.
Gao:The first one that is like coming through is, uh, with this other woman who she? She had a very traumatic, um, childhood in the sense of she, her mom, was sexually abused when she was nine and she was present when that happened. So you can imagine what that does to a nine-year-old. And she also was sexually abused at 12 and when that happened and she went to speak to her mother, her mother was already gone. In the sense of that trauma led her to use drugs to get over the pain that she didn't know how to, what to do with it. So I came into one of my master classes and yeah, it was just a master class, you know. So it was sexual alchemy, which was like the best date.
Gao:In the beginning she said I'm very uncomfortable, you know, but I just led her and everyone through the process and everything. And afterwards she said, oh my God, my inner child came through and for the first time she was smiling and uh, afterwards, like of course she has to do a lot of pageant. Like I said, this is like psychic surgery. So she had to like basically detox at a cellular level. At times you can, you can puke, at times you can just have a running stomach, releasing all that because there was a lot of shame, you know. And uh, since that shifted, even she stopped being all over with all the healers. Like she said, I feel safe in my body and like, just from that, that must at last she was not like somebody who enrolled in. So that was mind-blowing for me and it was beautiful to see somebody in her her mid-60s, you know, finally knowing how it feels like to be in her body, you know. And she wrote what's mind-blowing is. I even told her like in the session. I was like, oh, your inner child is waiting for that poem, to write a poem. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I mentioned something about a poem, oh God, and the poem that she wrote, and she's writing many poems and she's planning on publishing her poem book right now as we speak, just out of that. So that was like mind blowing.
Gao:And another one is somebody who came through. She had the endometriosis and all that Like she was in deep pain. She was scheduled for surgery and we worked together. After the first session she went to see her doctor and everything has disappeared. The surgery was canceled. She didn't need that. So that was mind-blowing as well.
Gao:And the third one is also that is popping through is this other lady who she lost her job? Like for seven years she was not working. Whatever that transpired and we started working together. There was a lot that was going on there as well Molestation, what she witnessed with her mother and the father and the father's whole arguments and abuse.
Gao:And somehow, because the father was the breadwinner, there was a part of her that was like this is how men are, or men with money. So there was that relationship with money that was formed because of the breadwinner being her father and how he treated everybody else and this caused all this. As much as she can go back and blame the people at work because it's not always what we think is you know she was holding into the people at work. They did this, but when we worked together that was not the case. And 12 weeks after we completed she got her consultancy job. She was called at what she was doing earlier, but now not as an employee but as a consultant, and she was paid 90K.
Gao:So that was like, come on, we've been working for seven years and I thought this was like a waste, you know, and all of a sudden, here I am, I'm a boss, like really, this is what is happening. So there's a lot of things that happen. Honestly, I've lost count, you know, and of recent I mean a lot of people awaken to their gifts. You know they connect deeply with their spirituality and they to their gifts. You know they connect deeply with that spiritual, with that spirituality, and they awaken their gifts.
Gao:Lately I had someone who just came through because of the whole toxic relationship that happened and from that first session, like she's a healer, of course, and but she didn't know, like the gift that she had, you know. So it was mind-blowing, like I'm like, oh my God, your soul is ready, it's hitting the ground, running, like she's a flipping gifted healer. So a lot of them, actually a lot of people who find themselves in these toxic situations, they're truly gifted but they're using it more, like in broken people, because they don't want to look at their own and their own woundedness and heal that. You know, we are all wounded healers but if at all you are not willing to look at your wounds, you're gonna go around trying to force your way into people who are who do not want to heal their wounds you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kertia:I find that, um, a lot of people who are born healers, they tend to and I wouldn't say all, but I've encountered a lot who they tend to go through a period of chaos, you know, experiencing a lot of chaos in their lives, in relationships, in their finances, their careers, whatever it may be, however it might show up, and, yeah, it's really fascinating. It's really really fascinating and I realized that, coming out of that, that is how a lot of healers actually come into their gifts and come into learning how to use their gifts. So I find that to be really fascinating.
Gao:It's part of the initiation, it's part of the agreement and when you look at it, it's quite mind-blowing, because I've been in this journey with like it started where I was separated from my children and all of that. I've been in this journey with like like it started where I was separated from my children and all of that. And then it happened again. My ex-husband did the same thing that my boyfriend did and I was like this is crazy. Like at first I was like God, you fucking kidding me, you know. But on the other hand, I was aware that there is something that is happening when I say it's not always what we think it is and it's a big initiation and the core of it is because I have had people who came through in past lives, ancestral who had, who were separated with their children, and they wanted me to help them. You know it's kind of like they had this anger towards me because there's a lot of things that our ancestors did and you know it's kind of like it's messy and all that. So it's kind of like it's more like it's a gift but at the same time it may show up as a curse. There are curses, but in those curses there's also a gift in it, you know. So it's mind blowing, even for me when I look at my journey, repetitive of events, you know, and making it about myself, making it about other people. But when I get out of it and like, ok, fine, and this is also one of the things, if at all, because when I look at it, even growing up, there are many people who are seersics, you know, in churches and all that. But what I realize is, most people will they have a gift, but they'll start trying to help people from their wounded lens. Yes, and if your consciousness, if you are wounded, your consciousness is kind of like, here you're just gonna look at the physical as, like this lifetime. Yet we are multi-dimensional beings. So for you to have a larger scope of what is happening, to go to the core, you can't just be here in this lifetime, you can't just focus on the human, you know, because we are multi-dimensional means you get to get out of here to see what happened in this lifetime and beyond, what happened in your ancestral lineage and beyond. Otherwise it's more like taking out a branch, taking out a leaf and you think you are solving anything. It's gonna come back, come again until you go to the root, you understand. So it's part of that.
Gao:Part of it is like some things, because for you to have, even for you to embody the light, you have played in the dark for a while. You know to embody the light and to be called to go and illuminate and shine. Shine the light in the in the darkness. It's the point where you are not coming through, being scared by what you see. You have mastered how to walk in that darkness because you have been one of the players or participant in in other lifetimes. So people do not embody that. They don't want. They want to just say, oh, I'm this light being or whatever, and and all that because at the end of the COVID yin and yang and everything.
Gao:That's the balance you know, yeah, so people wants to choose this and leave the other one outside, which is like that separation consciousness, that the reason why I'm not in agreement with religions is because there is a lot of separation, there's a lot of judgment. You know them and us and all that and the truth of it. Even when I go to the wounds of ancestral wounds, there is a lot of separation, whether it's societal, whatever you know. So we need to go there and heal these things and bring that oneness and illuminate whatever that all those shadows are, because the shadows, people are ashamed and afraid of the shadows, but they're just as simple as as not wanting to look at something that makes you uncomfortable, not wanting to feel certain emotions, you know, or even not wanting to admit, to admit and look at the things that your family, that happened in your childhood, because people have this illusion that it's about shaming your parents, but it's not.
Gao:I have a strong belief that our parents, their parents, everybody who came before us, they did the best that they could. They ran that race, otherwise we wouldn't be where we are, you know. Now the question is are we willing to take that button and run to the finish line, or are we going to drop here so that we can start from the beginning. When we shy away from this, when we hide, what we're doing is we are turning our back on the bright future that is ahead of us. We are turning our back on our children, because it's not about just being a parent. We are also the guardian, the spiritual protector of our children, and if you are still stuck in there, being afraid of darkness, it's the darkness that is sleeping with your child. It's the darkness that is surrounding your child at all times. Parenthood is bigger than just the physical being or providing material stuff.
Kertia:Absolutely. It's such um. Parenting and parenthood is such a spiritual endeavor, you know, and a lot of us focus on providing and providing comfort, which is equally important, but, um, yeah it is I don't know what that was. I am so sorry maybe it's just.
Gao:I mean, I'm used to all these tech issues and all that and, on the other hand, don't forget, we're talking about energetic stuff and all that.
Kertia:So it's always yeah, it just started out of nowhere and I'm just like but everything is perfect, what's happening?
Gao:yeah, you can't make up. You can't make this shit up.
Kertia:So it's what a boost okay, but I still have to do my due diligence and make sure that everything is okay on my end. You know, I don't want to just throw the blame, you know? Yeah, all right um okay, I just wanted to ask you, what is African ancient quantum medicine and, like you could just wrap that up with telling us where we can find you, how we can contact you for the work that you do.
Gao:Frequent Asian Quantum Medicine is how my ancestors really used to heal Like that's the medicine. There, you know, people will say, like when I look at like healers or whatever, they'll just be like oh, you don't heal like the way it was done in the past, where it's kind of like first thing, whether it's like healing through your body or transmuting that and for me, like like that's what happens. Like I said, when I work with somebody it's kind of like I step into that auric field so I embody them in a way. You know, I get to know everything that is happening and you know when you feel the changes and everything in the body. I'll just give an example with what was happening when we had a problem with the tech issues. So we're just like sitting there and then from there you start working on that. From there I felt the rise to your power center. You know which. Every time everyone I believe it happens with everyone that when something is happening it's kind of like challenges your power. You understand. So it's more like I get to observe everything that is happening, when the heart that beats in so fast and everything. So it's kind of like I'm you in that moment when I'm doing this work and, uh, the way I also do the healing, it's kind of like I take that and just I transmute it through me, you know. So when I say this is what is happening here, it's basically an ancient way of healing. It's not like the way it's done now. You know it's like ancient. So some people will be like, no, we don't do the healing the way it was done. For me, that's the gift that I have and this is why, even when I like I said, when people like social media, sometimes people will jump on or slide on the DM and be like whatever they want to sell or whatever I'm like. For me, when you get into my DM, it's kind of like you opened my door, like you came to my room and when things are coming up, I'm going to have to talk about it because otherwise I'm going to be left holding your stuff. So, like that's the work that I do.
Gao:And here's the thing, even like it's quite interesting, because I remember I was talking to this other guy the other time. I don't know what he wanted, but we're just chatting, so all of a sudden I'm asking him tell me what is happening. What is that thing on your butt? Why is there pain on your butt? And he's like, oh my God, I haven't even told my wife. I've been like he said like something with the shooting happened what? And he was shot there. Like this is like we are weird. So it's like it's like that crazy. And there is this other friend of mine that I have as well. The other time I was talking to her and I'm like I don't understand what is happening. What is that thing? That is like kind of like it's coming through your vagina. It's like stop it, I'm on my period.
Kertia:I and it's like how stupid I'm on my period like I don't know.
Gao:I just no way. So it's like it's, it's that insane crazy, you know way, yeah. So, yeah, nothing, that's nothing. Nothing is left is left unturned, like this, really, you know. So that's just the magic that I do when it comes to the body, as much as I'm big on relationship, but, on the other hand, the side effects of my work is not only your relationship will be fine, but your body will thank you for it, because whatever that is happening, whether it's mental, emotional or physical level, I work on that. I don't want to really own up the whole health stuff and everything, but it's also kind of like it's my jam really. But on the other hand, as much as I can go to the health, our health won't be affected, if at all. We're dealing with our relationships, starting with the relationship that we have with ourselves, right. So it's kind of like people are more big on relationship. I want love, but you can't have love, if at all. The love that you know that you crave is the dysfunction that you were born in. You know, and, if at all, your parents accepted and tolerated that and lived in that. That's what you're going to tolerate.
Gao:And what's funny is that, like one lady that I was working with. She she was. She loved her mother. She wanted to protect her by all means. So her mother passed and later she started realizing that she's developing the same symptoms that her mother had. You know, it's kind of like she took some of these things because you want to help your mother. So now she's left with all these symptoms, soul and fears and everything, and it was not hers. So you can go to the doctor all you want. You're not going to get anything, you know. Know, because it's not your energy and even if you're holding into distance, you can't transmute what is not yours.
Gao:So the african ancient quantum medicine is like deep, because it's it's ancient, but at the same time it's kind of like from the future, you know. So, um, I do it like my, my ancestors did it, but on a on a deeper, better level, because, um, when it comes to the divination, the way they used to do, whether it's throwing bones and giving people some plants and all that, for me, the way I was given this, everything is within me. This is why I say I can take your thing and transmute it, because whatever plant that is needed to heal that, everything is within me. So, whatever that I need to know, I don't have to throw bones. I get to know because everything is within me. So I'm literally the embodiment of that Everything is. This is why, even when we're speaking if at all you are present enough. All that I'm speaking of, or even there is a frequency that is coming through even the audience those who are sensitive to energy'll feel. They'll feel that you know. So that's um, that's the magic and um.
Gao:Yeah, I'm gonna share a link with you, um, so that people can, those who are interested to know what is happening, they can book a call. But, on the other hand, if you this is not for someone who is not committed to that thing you book a call, if at all. You want to know more how you can release that, because I don't want to. Like I said, getting into people's auric fields is very dangerous in the sense of some people are holding dark energies spiritual wife, husband, whatever.
Gao:There's just a lot of shit going on, to be honest. So I don't want to get there and then hold on to people's shit that do not want to do anything with them. I've started offering I don't do once-off sessions, but I put a link on my website as well for once-off sessions for people who maybe they just want to do a session and just dive in and see where that is going to lead them. That is for those people and if someone is interested say okay, fine, I think the problem that I had may need something long-term, then book a call. If you think like, okay, fine, I just want to test the waters, just go into my website and book that session.
Kertia:I love this conversation. Thank you so much, guys, it was a pleasure connecting with you.
Kertia:As usual. Thank you so much for tuning in. This was such a fun conversation. I appreciate Khao so much much. If you want to find out more about what she does and how she does it, all her information is within the show notes of this episode and, as usual, reach out and text us and tell us what you think about this episode. I am so excited to hear what you guys thought, how you guys feel about it. You can find that link to Texas right above our show notes. Can't wait to hear from you guys. Thank you.
