My Ride Or Die (Episode 17)

🎧 Ever feel like friendship drama is taking over your life? In this powerful episode, we bring together licensed therapist Erica Bess and a 14-year-old girl for an unfiltered conversation about what real friendship looks like in today's world.

Get ready for honest talk about friendship dynamics that most adults won't discuss. From toxic relationships to ride-or-die bonds, we're diving deep into what makes teen friendships both amazing and complicated. No sugar-coating, just real stories and expert insights you can actually use.

This episode tackles:

• The difference between loyalty and unhealthy attachment
• Setting boundaries without losing friends
• Navigating friend groups and social pressure
• When to fight for a friendship vs. when to let go
• Building healthy relationships that last
• Finding the balance between being a good friend and taking care of yourself

Perfect for: Teens navigating complicated friendships, anyone dealing with friend drama, those feeling uncertain about their social circle, and parents wanting to understand teen friendship dynamics better.

Features candid discussions between a mental health expert and a real teen who gets exactly what you're going through.

To learn more about Erica Bess and her therapy services:

EricaBess.com

Transcript

Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome. In today's episode, we have a couple special guests with us. We have our returning therapist, Erica Bess.

Miss Bess is a licensed therapist. She has eleven plus years of experience as a social worker and therapist. Majority of her work has actually been with teens in a school setting. She owns Empower Therapy, And we also have with us a 14 year old girl from New York, and we're calling her Kiki. How are you guys doing today?

Great. How are you? Good. So today's episode, we are talking about ride or die. Now we hear that phrase all the time, and teenagers use it on a regular basis.

So I'm gonna ask Kiki, what does ride or die mean to you? Somebody who you could text one day, not text them the next day, and, see them the next day, and then they're, like, the same from last time. Okay. So someone that stays the same. Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Somebody who, like, somebody who doesn't change their personality anytime you don't see them or you do see them. Somebody who's always loyal to you no matter They're always loyal to you no matter what. Right? Okay.

Miss Bess. Yes. What do you see when when when, what comes to mind? Now you're an adult and you're a therapist. So I'm asking you what comes to mind when you hear ride or die?

Ride or die is somebody that's gonna always be there for you no matter what. We say have your back. Like always have your back. But then, you know, it's like no matter what the situation is, they're always gonna be there for you, whether it's emotional support or being there physically to help you out whatever situation you're dealing with no matter what. Right.

So when we hear we hear that phrase a lot, right, like, all the time and things. Yeah. And what what do you for you, KiKi, when you hear that, does the phrase actually mean much to you? It's a strong word because I feel like you can't call everybody your friend. Everybody, you run it down.

It's like you need to actually be comfortable. We can't rush having a friendship because you don't know how they're gonna act tomorrow. You can't rush your friendship because you don't know how they're gonna act tomorrow. Episode over. You just you just said a lot.

You're you're a % right. And I wanted we're gonna talk in today about some details of what goes with that. So loyalty to you means someone who's to both of you means someone who is there for you through thick and thin. Is that a good way to put it? That is a good way to put it.

So why does loyalty matter? Loyalty matters because, like, if you really care about somebody, like, you can't just say things. You can't say things. Like, you love a person. Like, you care about a person and act different from the other people's face because I just feel like I feel loyalty is a big word, and it means a lot.

Loyalty is a big word. It means a lot. So what I just heard from from you is is you can't be two faced. Right. Is that what is that what you meant?

Yeah. That's I'm just giving it a different word. But, yeah, to be in your face smiling, but then be somebody else behind your back. Right. There's a lot of people who do that.

Right. But why is loyalty important, though? Like, what's the benefits of having a loyal friend? You're you're not gonna, you're gonna know that they're gonna be there for you. You're not gonna have to worry about them hurting you because you already know how they are behind your back and in front of you.

Mhmm. Like, it's not gonna be awkward. Because you know that's your friend, and you're comfortable with them. Okay. That's a that's a really good explanation.

Miss Bess, from a therapist standpoint, why does loyalty matter? Loyalty matters because I think it embodies the spirit of trust. And I feel like if you can't trust the people around you, then you're around the wrong set of folks, honestly, because you wanna be able like, Kiki said, like, you wanna be able to trust that your friend is loyal to you and that they're not gonna switch up behind your back because then you you really can't trust them. You can't trust them with your information. You can't trust that they'll be there on your side when you're backed up against the the wall and have to face the world and don't really have your friend support.

So it's important because I think it all boils down to who you can trust, like, for real. Yeah. And without that trust, we're left feeling lonely. Yeah. And that is one of the worst places for any of us to really to be, to feel like we're lonely.

Some people you just because you're alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. But there are people who are not alone and have a ton of people around them, but they still feel lonely. And that's often because they don't have that loyal friend around them. Right. So I I do agree with both of you in that it is important to have somebody you know has your back because as human beings, we all need one another.

That's a part of the human experience is is the need for one another. And without that, you know, it's it's very difficult to live through life, and it's very difficult to enjoy life. And it also causes us to make bad mistakes True. Because we think we're alone. And so having a friend who's there, and if they don't do nothing else but be your friend and be there for you, is critical to our own really mental health.

Now we've talked about what's good about having a loyal friend. Right? What's the bad part about having loyal friends? Or let me rephrase that. Oh.

When is loyalty bad? I think I have an idea. So I feel like loyalty can be bad when the trust that the person might have in you might be to do something that's bad or detrimental to yourself or with them. Like Mhmm. Let's say there was a fight and your friend got beat up and your friend is like, yo, you're supposed to be loyal to me, so you gotta come with me to jump these girls.

Like Mhmm. That's bad loyalty. You know? Stupid loyalty. Stupid loyalty is gonna get you involved in some shit that's not good.

Yeah. Yeah. What do you what do you think, Kiki? Bad loyalty is just, like, fair person say a person is acting one way with you, and then they go with their friends, and they start talking about you and just involving you in bad things. And then they come back to you, and I'm like, everything's okay.

And I just feel like people when people are two faced or if anything else, like, that's bad loyalty because how are you gonna look at me and tell me that you care about me, which you over there talking to some other people being mad disrespectful talking about me. Mhmm. So what I just heard was two different definitions of bad loyalty. And what Kiki just described is disloyalty when you are the opposite of loyalty. When you got a loyal face, but you're really a snake behind the mask.

On the scary part. There are people there are they involve you in things, and then they just and then everybody hates you because you're getting told from one person something else, and then they're over here being fake. And then the person who keeps going over there and telling people that you're being fake or whatever, they're gonna get in problems too because they're over here sitting with me, and they're the ones talking about me with their friends. Mhmm. So what I hear is that it they're stirring up some shit, basically.

Stirring up some shit because they're being two faced, not being loyal to you like they pretend to be. But meanwhile, you think that they're being loyal, so you're trusting them. And when that trust is betrayed, it can be very, very, very harmful and very hurtful. Yeah. I think all of us have I think most people listening have been betrayed by somebody at some point in time.

And it's it's someone you thought you could trust. I've been there too. And I was a ride or die for the person that betrayed me. And it's like, okay. But you know what I didn't do?

I didn't turn that around to I'm never gonna trust anyone again. And that is the hard part when we've been hurt to say, okay. I'm never gonna trust anyone again. Now I wanna dive back into what miss Beth said about people encouraging you to do bad things. Mhmm.

And I called it stupid loyalty, being loyal to stupidity. And it's true. I mean, some people are like, I'm your ride or die. I'm I'm your loyal friend. Whatever way you want, I'm worded.

I called it my ride or die because most people know what that means in today's terms. But, if we're talking to a group of adults, I might word it differently. We're just talking about being loyal friends. I wanna go back to what miss Bess had say about said about, you know, people being loyal to the wrong things. Being loyal to stupidity, as I call it.

When people do that, How is that any good? How is it good that you rob a bank or do some other dumb crime because your ride or die said you got you in this with me, and you're ass end up in jail. Right. For what? Oh, but I was loyal loyal.

Loyally stupid. Like, how is that helpful? Do you agree, Kiki? I can't hear you shaking your head. Do you agree?

Yes. I'm sorry. She's like, yeah. The audience can't hear you shaking your head. So, it it's just it's just I mean, I'm asking you, Kiki, because you're because you're 14, and we're we're adults.

We're not teenagers. So we're talking from the adult point of view. But, you know, how do you feel about have you seen people do that? Yeah. Be loyal and do dumb things so that they're loyal?

Yeah. I have. And how did that work out for them? I just feel like all that trust and all that friendship just it went downhill. So we talked about how important loyalty is in friendship and when loyalty is bad.

I wanna dive now into what to look for before we decide if somebody's our ride or die, what we should look for, to make sure that we don't put the wrong people in that position. It is important that we have right or dies. It is important that we have loyal friends who gonna back us up, who gonna who are going to back us up when we're not in the room. That's how you know how a real friend. That's that's one tip.

If they if they are going to defend you when they're not in your presence, that's a real friend. If they just gonna be like, yeah. Uh-huh. When everybody's talking about you, I would question you. Just laughing with them.

If they're laughing with them, then that's that's not your real friend. Your real friend is not gonna do that. Your real friend's gonna be like, hey. They might explain a certain way. Yeah.

They might explain why you acted a certain way and why you're doing what you did. They might explain something. They might just be like, don't be talking about my friend like that. And they might just decide this conversation is stupid and I'm leaving. Either way, a real friend would do that.

A fake friend won't do that at all. They're just like, and then smile on your face, you know, as as you said earlier, Kiki. But I wanna talk about what is part of this conversation is I wanna make sure that we we talk about the goods and the bads of having loyal friendship, but I also wanna make sure we talk about what does a healthy ride or die look like? What does that look like to you, Kiki? What does a healthy ride or die look like?

So personally, in my life, I have this friend. I'm a call her Jady. Okay. And Jady, I met her online. Right?

I met her online two years ago, and I didn't talk to her every day, but we still remain friends for a long time. And then I went to meet her, and she still had the same energy, and she was so nice. Mhmm. And she was welcoming, and she didn't change anything. And, I just feel like a real friend is somebody who remains the same matter no matter the time, this the time, the distance.

It doesn't matter where you are. It just matters how loyal you are to that person. Yes. But loyal I when I say healthy, I wanna talk about the the balance of it. Loyal without being so loyal that it causes you to do bad things that harm yourself.

The balance. Yeah. You had something to say, Keke? Yeah. You don't always have to be in your in your friend's face.

You don't always have to deal with them to consider them a loyal friend. You could deal with somebody if they if they can still do you bad. So, I just feel like you don't always have to be with somebody to be loyal. Like, you could just call them once in a while or go see them once in a while. You don't have to be in their face all the time.

I think you brought up a really valid point, actually. The quality of friendship isn't measured by time. And a lot of times people think, I known this girl since I was five. We known each other since we were in kindergarten. So?

And she been a two faced whole since. Right. So how would that work? To to be disloyal. Right.

That's not what matters. Right. On what you know, to to reiterate what what you're saying, how and and this is for some adults too. Because some of y'all, like, I've known so and so since college, but so and so isn't a loyal friend. So what what why?

What's the point of knowing that? Yeah. Exactly. What's the point of considering their close friends? But I also wanna point out that there's a difference between an acquaintance and acquaintance and a close friend.

You know, you go to school every day. You see people, you talk to them in the classroom, you might eat with them at lunch, but you ain't hanging out with them after school. They ain't coming to your house. You're not going to their parties. You're not going to sleepovers with them.

You ain't going to the mall with them. Those acquaintances. Right. Boundaries. Right.

And those people might not be they're not your ride or die. And I have to say that because some people don't understand the difference. Keke, you look like you wanted to say something about that. So, yeah, I have a lot of people I'm cool with, like, cool with that school. Right.

I only see them at school. You know, I dived them up and I'm in school. But after school, I say bye to them. Don't see them until the next day. So I feel like a close friend is somebody you can always call or text, check up on them regularly.

It doesn't have to be every day. Just check up on them because, you know, you don't know how somebody's doing one day. Yeah. That's true. That's true.

And, miss Best, what did you have to say on that subject? What does a balanced A balanced, loyal friend look like? I think a balanced loyal friend is going to hold you accountable for your end of things and support you and let you know where you might have done something wrong, you know, in a situation. And we'll point it out to you without getting you further into trouble, if that makes sense. Yeah.

No. It does. Hey. Maybe you shouldn't have done this. You know?

Yep. And I'm glad that you brought that up. Mhmm. I think it I think it's important to also note a yes man is a bad friend. Yeah.

Period. Yeah. A yes man is a bad friend because a yes man will say yes no matter what you do. Right. Let's go rob a bank.

Yes. Okay. Let's go. Let's go kill people. Yes.

My god. You know? Okay. That might be an exaggeration, but but a yes man doesn't keep you balanced. They don't make you better.

A real friend a true friend's gonna be like, please girl, don't do that. That's gonna because that's gonna hurt you x y z. What did you wanna say about that, Keke? I I agree because some people just like to see you get in trouble. Like, they're they're just there to just watch you be under be under the line when you're supposed to be above the line.

Oh, I like that analogy. That's a good analogy. Yeah. They wanna put you down. They don't wanna see you succeed.

But when you start distancing yourself from that person, you're gonna start succeeding because you don't have that negative mindset anymore because you they're not holding you down, and then you can go up when you're not around them. So that's why you don't need negative people in your space. You need to balance it out. You need to get your priority straight, and you need to just be positive. You can't let these people control you.

You just, again, you just said the whole thing. No matter right. Right. No matter what. You but, Keke, you are % right.

It's important, it's important that we are mindful who we keep around us because they affect us. Right? They totally they totally you couldn't hear Kiki, but she shook her head. Yes. Yes.

Thanks. She forgets that this is audio only. So, yeah, but, yeah, who who we surround ourself with is key, and picking out those friends. So that that that brings me to our next subject. I wanna talk about how we should choose our friends.

Alright? We we dove into that a little bit, but let's talk about some red flags. Because see what happens is I wanna say this before we talk about the red flags. What happens is we see red flags in people, but we don't wanna believe it, so we paint the red flags pink. Because pink is pretty.

So we we pretend like we don't see. Kiki let out a sigh. I was like, I know this too well. So let's talk about let's talk about what are some of the red flags. I'll let you guys go first, and then I'll chime in.

Okay. So for me, some of the red flags when having a friend who is disloyal, I think, would be them smiling in your face, and then you find out that they're talking behind your back. I think getting you to do things that don't benefit you and can only get you into trouble or kind of take you off your course. Mhmm. And I think, one of my major things is how they treat their family, whoever raised them.

If they don't have respect for the people who raised them and brought them up, then how can they feel about me? You know? And that's a major red flag. So if I see if I'm considering you as the ride or die and I'm vetting you in this process right up. Right.

I need to know that you're respecting your people first, your family first, because if you don't, then there's no way you can respect me. So that's one of Yeah. The the flags that I used to paint pink, but not anymore. I'm like, oh, it's red. I gotta go, You know?

Immediately. And very, very valid point. And what about you, Kiki? So in my life, there's this girl named Jayla. A girl named Jayla.

So I was with her, and she had her friend over. I'm gonna say her name is Stephanie. K. She has Stephanie over. And she was sitting over there, Stephanie, and they kept looking at me and laughing at me.

And I was like, why are you laughing at? And she was like, nothing. And then after she left, she was acting all nice on me. And then every time Steph Stephanie would come over, she would just act weird and distance herself from me. I just feel like that's a red flag.

If somebody's distancing yourself from your old friend, who you're just talking about from your new friend, I feel like you should at least, like, be comfortable being together and at least, like, introduce somebody and be together. Like, don't distance yourself. And there's other red flags too. I would call that being a fake ass. Being fake as hell.

So when when people do that, but you're right. In the adult world, we do that too. It just looks different. But in the adult world, we do the same stuff. People are fake as hell.

So when you see people are fake, yeah, that is a that is a red flag. To piggyback on kind of what both of you were saying, to me, one of the biggest red flags is how they treat other people period, not just their family. If they talking about everybody else, they talk about you too. Right. Red flag.

If you see that they lie about every single thing, they are lying to you too. Mhmm. Red flag. If you don't see that they're loyal to, they are loyal to no one, you can't find anyone in their life that they're actually loyal to, red flag. If you find that everybody keeps dissing them out of their lives, there's always a reason for it.

That reason is gonna be different for each person, but either way, red flag. Mhmm. Y'all agree? Yes. I have literally seen that, what you just said.

I had a friend the part of how people start to distance themselves from them because they don't hold loyalty with anybody. And they make it seem like they're loyal to everybody, but they might cross a boundary with every person in their life. And then the people start seeing, oh, this person is not as loyal as they portray themselves to be, and they're here gossiping about me here. This friend said, oh, you're gossiping about me here too. So it's like, oh, you do this with everybody.

That's the loyalty is only to yourself, but you're talking about everybody that's in your life talking crap about them. And then they find out who you really are, and then you find yourself alone because nobody wants to be around that toxicity. You know? Also Mhmm. One of my biggest people that I cannot stand, and I really detest them, actually.

Mhmm. I stay as far away from them as I can because I don't believe in violence, and that is gossips. So that self implemented boundaries. Stay away from it. The I can't stand gossips.

And and I and if you look at my social media and you go especially if you go back far enough, you'll find I detest gossips, and I am not sorry about it. And I and I don't hide that fact. I absolutely detest gossips. And here's why. They cause so much damage.

And the problem is I can connect the dots. I can see the dots. Everybody else just sees dots. Oh, this is just one little lie. This is just one little thing.

It's not one little thing. I see the snowball that it turns into, and I understand the damage that the spirit of gossip does. Right. And the spirit of gossip does things that are that really can melt down and change a person's life. And, you know, you think you're just talking about somebody, but what you just did was they were already sitting on a mental edge, and your little dumbass mouth put them on a suicidal ledge because you didn't know that they were already close to it.

Right. Right. Right? It's true. Yep.

And and it's just it really it angers me a lot. So I would say gossip is a red flag. If they gossip a lot, I don't mean that they everybody talks about somebody here and there because we're human. I don't mean that. So I wanna make sure that people understand there's a distinction between, the periodic mishap of talking about somebody and regularly talking about people.

Yeah. Like, making it their mission to to talk talk talk crap about that. About some drama going on. Right. The other red flag to look for is some of y'all not gonna like this.

Drama queens. Oh, yeah. When you see people that are always in the midst of drama or bringing drama to you, you need to tell them that they need to go down and find an acting job because you don't need the drama here. Okay? Go get on TV because, obviously, you want you want you you like drama.

Go get on TV. Go get in a movie. Yeah. When people are always bringing drama to you, they're always wrapped up in drama, there is 100% of a reason for it. Mhmm.

That reason can be different with each person, but there's a % a reason tied to them that is for it. I should strongly suggest that you see that as a red flag and you leave them alone. Because if they're always in drama, they're gonna drag you in with them Or later. If you get close enough. People who are always in drama, they can be your acquaintance, but don't let them in your inner circle.

Your inner circle is your ride or die. Your inner circle are your loyal friends, the people that you're closest to. What do you have to say about it, Keke? Yeah. It's supposed to be this girl.

I'm gonna name her, Jenny. So she was at my school in elementary, and she just had problems with everybody, like, everybody. And then one day, she she said that she had a problem with me, and I never did anything. And she was like, do you wanna go to the bathroom and fight? And I was like, no.

I'm not doing that because, you know, why it's not worth it? Because I'm gonna have to see you every day at school. So what's the what's the point? So I'm gonna just have to see you every day. And and so I just try to listen to myself from people who like drama because they're gonna try to it's gonna get to your problems.

It's gonna get to your problems and even jail if Yeah. You know? Smart time to go to jail. When people when people behave like that, there's always a reason for it. Mhmm.

And you it's usually psychological. Sometimes it could be chemical. But, honestly, I think 9099% is psychological. Mhmm. There's always a reason why people behave that way.

Yeah. And even if you don't know what that is, it doesn't mean that you need to have them in their inner circle. Right. And I wanna point that out because that doesn't necessarily the person you're calling Jenny, it doesn't necessarily mean that she was evil. Maybe she has some very serious issues at home, and this is how she tried to find herself.

There's always psychological reasons for it. So I'm not saying treat everybody like they're assholes and and run away with it. Right. But what I am saying is that doesn't mean that they need to be in your inner circle. Let's take a a fan, for example.

Oh, wait. Let's take a saw, for example. One of those circle saws that's automatic. I don't know what the machine is called, but you guys know what I'm talking about. Right?

Yeah. The one that cut those wood. That. Right? Uh-huh.

Right. It's great for cutting wood, but you're gonna sit next to it? No. You're gonna let you're gonna just put that in your lap? Hell no.

No. So why would you put a drama queen in your lap? Why would you put them in your inner circle? It's the same thing. Right.

That saw has a purpose, and you don't have to understand that saw. You just need to know, I don't need a saw in my lap because I like my legs. Right. Exactly. In one piece.

And if you don't want that extra stupidity and extra drama in your life, you you need to keep away from those people. That's right. And if you are that drama person, you're going to attract other dramatics. So you might wanna look at that. If you find all the drama people around you, there's always a reason for it a % of the time.

You might wanna figure out what that is because that reason isn't the same for everybody. But Right. There's always a reason for it. I wanna say too that Mhmm. Sorry, that, when it comes to the clinical side of being a therapist, I would recommend that those people who have difficulty being loyal to get therapy and figure out that psychological aspect of why they're treating people this way Yes.

And really get to the root of it. You know? Excellent point. Really try to work on themselves to be better and learn how to be loyal and how to to be a show up as a real friend. But And that's a great segue into yes.

Yeah. It's a great segue into what my next question was gonna be anyway, which is, you know, what is how how can we be good friends? What does a good friend look like? How can we what can we do as people to be better friends to our friends? What do you what do you think, Kiki?

Okay. So pretty much caring about them. They don't have to be in their face, being loyal unconditionally, standing up for them even when somebody puts them down, matter if they're here or not. Just staying true to that person because not everybody's true, but you could be true. But, yeah, everything you just said is absolutely true.

And being there unconditionally, that's what you said. Oh, yeah. Being there unconditionally, I think that was probably the biggest out of everything you just said. A real if we wanna be a real true friend, that that that means that we're there for them unconditionally. That means even when they do things that are completely embarrassing, we're still their friend.

It doesn't mean we jump up on stage with them and be embarrassed too, but it does mean because sometimes people take things too far, so that's why I have to get the balance of it Right. When we say things. So it doesn't mean you have to go that far, but being there unconditionally, that's a girlfriend. And the truth is your friendship's gonna be tried. I don't care who you are, and I don't care how old you are.

Whether you're 13 or 63, your friendships are going to be tried. And when that happens, believe what you see. True. If you want to get grape juice from if you wanna get grape juice, what do you do? Naturally.

I don't mean going to the store. You squeeze the grapes. Right? So if you getting lying ass bitch juice, guess what you just squeezed? Rotten fruits.

Yes. For real. Believe that's what I mean by believe what you see. If someone's showing you that they can't handle being honest Mhmm. And they can't handle being true, that's who they are.

They haven't matured enough. Maybe they will be in the future, and people do change and people do grow, but that's not where they are right now. So right now, you might wanna distance yourself and take them out of your inner circle. You can still be friends with them. You can be acquaintances with them, but I would not keep them in my inner circle.

And what about you, miss Bess? I think from a personal standpoint and just dealing with that, you know, outside of being a therapist, I think when I was in my early twenties, I thought that having a lot of friends was a big deal. But then I realized it was, like, more about the quality of a friend than it doesn't matter how many friends I do have. So now that I'm, like, in my mid thirties, it's like, okay. I know what to look for in a friend.

I know how to be a good friend. Like, show up and, you know, support and hold them accountable and also expect them to do the same for me. But I had to go on a journey where I had to, like, weed some of those friends out and put them back in the acquaintance category or stranger category because they didn't even deserve to be an acquaintance, let alone a friend. So I had to, like, go through them and, like, kinda cleaned up my friends and see who's, like, really worth being in my life. And I had to get rid of a lot of people because their loyalty wasn't there.

You know? And it was just to say, oh, I have so many friends, and then this is great, and it's wonderful. And, yes, as a teenager, you want lots of friends because it's a it's a big important deal at that time, but then you start to realize what a friend is and who you wanna have around you and that having certain people around you could take you down wrong paths. And then I ended up with, like, maybe two friends in my in my mid thirties, and I was okay with that. You know?

It it it cut out a lot of drama in my life for sure. Very, very valid point. Kiki, did you wanna say something? Quality over quantity. Why'd you take the words out of my mouth?

Stop reading my mind. That was literally what I was about to say, but, like, let me keep let me let Kiki talk first. You you got it. You got it. Quality over quantity.

Mhmm. Who cares about having a lot of friends when you could just have one that replaces all of those people? You know what I you know what I liken it to? Would you like one $1 bill or one $100 bill? Because that's what you're getting.

That's true. It's like I got $42 bills. Well, I got one $100 bill. Right. I got more.

Right. I got more. You know? And and I'm I'm a type of person. I'm a I'm a Leo, and I'm very loyal.

So, we we're known to be loyal, and I really am. And when I find someone who's really loyal to me, they've they've got me. Unless they kick babies down the street and rob a bank, they've got me. And even if they do rob a bank, as long as they share it with me. No.

I'm kidding. Right. I'm joking, y'all. I'm joking. But, but I think it's I I think this conversation is important to have, and, I thank both of you for coming on.

I really like being able to hear from a therapist and a 14 year old. Getting a different perspective, I think, is beautiful. And, you know, both of you have very valid points. And here's to looking at good friendships. For sure.

And thank you both for coming on. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. And now for a mind shifting moment.

My hopes are that out of everything that was said today, you walked away with some wisdom nuggets, some nuggets of wisdom. Who we keep in our lives is critical to where we're headed. It's critical to what's happening around us and therefore within us right now. Be wise, make good choices and just know you are worth good friends. Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast.

Please like, and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.