Being A Teen Mom (Episode 22)

🎧 From teen mom at 14 to inspiring success story - Portia Franklin shares her raw, unfiltered journey of facing life-changing decisions while still a child herself. In this powerful episode, she reveals how unexpected pregnancy reshaped her teenage years and ultimately led to remarkable personal triumph.

With remarkable candor, Portia opens up about navigating high school hallways while pregnant, facing harsh judgments, and finding the inner strength to defy statistics. Her story isn't just about survival - it's about transformation and redefining what's possible.

This compelling episode explores:

• The reality of teen pregnancy beyond textbook warnings
• Making adult decisions while still growing up yourself
• Finding determination when the odds are stacked against you
• Turning obstacles into stepping stones
• Building success despite overwhelming challenges
• Creating your own path when life takes unexpected turns

Perfect for: Teens facing major life challenges, young parents, anyone feeling overwhelmed by circumstances, and those seeking inspiration to overcome their own obstacles.

Features honest discussions about difficult choices, resilience, and the power of determination, shared by someone who's lived it.

For more information on Portia, to follow her, or listen to her podcast, please click on the links below.

Website: https://www.portiafranklin.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/portia.franklin/

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sparkle-with-portia-franklin/id1596470295

Transcript

Welcome to mind shift power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome. Today, we have with us Portia Franklin. She is from San Diego, California, and she is also a podcast host.

The name of her podcast is Sparkle with Portia Franklin, but we're not really here to talk about that. We'll talk about that a little bit in the end. We're really here to talk about part of her life story. She became a mom as a teenager. And without further ado, I will just let you hop right into it.

Portia, go ahead and tell me your story. Fatima, thank you for having me. I am so honored and blessed to be here, to be able to share and excited to, see what God does through this. But, absolutely, the conversation is be being a teen mom. And I really do believe that's when I started to really live my life.

But I was born to a mama who was single, and I did not know my father. And that came with a lot of unknowns, uncertainties. And when I got older, I look back, and it arose a lot of questions in me. So we'll probably get into that. But, there was a lot of time that I was free, just doing my own thing growing up.

So because my mom had, like, three jobs, never there. I always said I was like a free range chicken just running around, you know, hanging out with potentially not the greatest people and found myself, dabbling in things that got me into the situation of, you know, also not knowing my father, looking for love in all the wrong places. So that was what led me to becoming a mom at the the ripe age of 14, I became pregnant. So, yeah. So a lot a lot in that beginning.

But to make a long story short, my mom was single, and I had a lot of free time. And she did her very best with what she knew. Yeah. Okay. Now when we had a conversation, off air, you told me that as a teen mom, you were in a particular program.

Could you tell us about that program? Sure. So so I was 14, like, fresh out of middle school getting pregnant, and so I was going into high school. So I was a freshman going into high school, pregnant. So at where I live in San Diego, there is a program at El Cajon High School, and it is called the pregnant teen program.

Well, it was at the time. I'm not sure what it's called today. But that is where pregnant teens continued their, education and in a safe space, if you will. So, you know, going around, it's you you don't wanna be walking around as a teen mom necessarily, among other students where you could potentially expose yourself to bullies or, you know, all the things. So they made this class where it was all pregnant teens.

So I was surrounded by teenage girls. Now they we weren't all in the same grade, but I was a freshman there. And I tell you what, this program was so beautiful, and I remember miss Bartel. Miss Bartel was my teacher there, and what a godsend. She she poured into me.

She supported me. Even, like, I couldn't get picked up one day, I remember, in this program, and she drove me to my mom's work at the mall because my mom was working and couldn't come get me, and I didn't have a car then. So, yeah, the program was amazing. It was actually the first time I got straight a's. Praise god.

Wow. So it sounds like that program was pretty important to you. Yeah. It did set a good foundation. Mhmm.

And what would you say okay. So you started off in ninth grade, and did you graduate high school? I graduated. Yeah. That was How was it?

That was when how was it? So high school and actually graduating while raising a child? It was it was a lot. So my greatest so if you think about, like, where your family there's patterns in families. And my mom and my sister, they both got their GEDs, and so that was kinda like a normal thing.

It was okay. But I understood that when I got into, like, when I got a few years older into, like, my junior year, almost my senior year, I understood that, wow. Like, I actually need to take this seriously because I could be the first one in my my family to actually get a diploma and walk with my class. And so the the journey there, though, was very tricky because I became a mom. I was now a sophomore.

I changed schools. The living situation was not the best because my mom did not have a space for us, and so that played a part. There was a lot of, like, abuse in the home where I was staying. And so there are so many factors that could have affected me to keep me bound up and staying in a GED course. However, my my choices that led me to graduating high school was I've I've just I just know it was, like, strength from the Lord and just a vision.

So having this vision, like, I knew there was more to life. I knew I wanted more. But to get there, I had to take the steps. And so between wanting to be a teenager, wanting to be a mom, wanting to make money and support my child, and wanting to be there just to be in her presence and just be a present mom, I was very conflicted. So I was conflicted with with all of those things.

I would cry when I was going to school every morning because I didn't wanna leave my baby. Mhmm. But I knew I needed to go to school, And I knew she was safe, and that was fine. But I didn't wanna leave her. So I I believe it was, like, at the end of my sophomore year, beginning of my junior year, I decided to take the homeschool, partial homeschool option that my school offered to be home with her and go get a part time job.

And with that decision, I I quickly found out that I could not do everything, and I fell far behind in in my classes and classes and in, like, my points or you know, every class has so many points, and you need these so many points to graduate, and I fell extremely behind. And so my senior year, I went into it. I went into my senior year with eight classes. And, you know, your senior year is supposed to be, like, popping. Like, you're supposed to be, like, driving to the beach at 12:00, leaving school with your girlfriends because it's your senior year.

You only got a few classes. Right? And I was like, bye at lunchtime, like, seeing everybody leave, and I had to stay there my senior year. And then I had classes after school, and then I had Saturday class. And so I I literally because I made that decision, now between all of the ups and the downs of, like, teenage stuff wanting to, like, party and be with friends and whatnot, I really, had I buckled down my senior year, and I said there's no way.

And my my school actually gave me the option out. They were like, you know, it's okay. Like, you can just walk, you know, with the September people. You know? You don't have to graduate on, you know, the day that your class graduates.

And I said, absolutely not. No. That's I'm not working this hard right now to graduate three months later after my class. I will graduate on time. So I I did everything that I I could to make sure that I appeased the academic system to get the points that I needed.

And, actually, on the day of graduation, I was in my history class on the day of my graduation taking a test, the final test that I needed to complete my grade. And to be honest, I don't even know if I don't know if I passed that test. My teacher just said looked at me after I was done taking the test. He's like, get out of here. Go graduate.

Wow. So that's that story. Mhmm. Go ahead. Oh, no.

So that's that's, my my high school journey. What I hear in that story or what I can extract from that story is that you didn't just settle for, well, I have the excuse of being a mom, so I can do less now. I can give less effort. You instead buckle down with because of determination, and you were able to still accomplish your goals. Yes.

It was a lot harder because you were now a mother, but you were still able to accomplish because you made the decision. And I think that's the key word that you just said, decision. You know? You okay. You shouldn't have gotten pregnant, but you did.

So what? It it is what it is. So now what do you do? Mhmm. You know?

And and the fact that you took it and just said, you know what? I'm I'm graduating on time. I'm gonna be the first one to graduate high school on a in a normal time frame. I'm just doing this, and you made it. And I think that's that's beautiful.

Would you say that being a teen mom has affected your life? Oh, a %. Yes. Tell us what? And I would say it say I I would say it saved my life.

And I tell my daughter this every chance I get. I was on a road of destruction. I was I was in you know, when you have a hardworking mom that is just doing her best to, you know, give you a roof over your head, which, you know, it's you have so much freedom. And then, also, when you're not taught certain things of morality of, you know, certain ways to live life and what you do and don't do. And and, you know, if your parents don't know that, they don't know to teach it, and they do their best with what they got.

And so I was handed a deck of cards that that served me a a lot of adversity. I saw things that I probably shouldn't have saw, and I did things that I definitely shouldn't have done. And so becoming a mom stopped me dead in my tracks. Just, like, stopped me. And and I I do believe it was a gift, and my mom was really supportive when we found out.

And so that was another blessing that that, like, there was no other option but to have this baby, and we were excited. The circumstance was not ideal. The relationship was not ideal, but it doesn't matter. Like, there was just no other option, and it it stopped me in my tracks. It saved my life.

So, yeah, it completely changed and, the trajectory of where I was I was headed for sure. Okay. I I hear that. Sounds like you would have ended up a lot worse if you didn't have something to kinda smack you inside the head, basically. I don't even want I don't even wanna know where I would be if I didn't have that baby, to be honest.

No. I wanna I wanna kinda sidebar a little bit, and talk to a particular portion of the audience. Yeah. Right now, it's a reality that there are teenage girls out there who think that getting pregnant is cute and trendy and something they wanna do with their friends. And I wish I could say that that's just an idea.

Nobody's really thinking that, but I talk to teenagers all the time. They talk to me, and that's a real thing. What would you say, to the girls who are in that mindset right now? Yeah. I would I would just grab her face.

I would I would just wanna grab her face and let her know it is not trendy. Like, baby girl, it's not trendy. And let's let's talk about why you think it's cute or why you think you need to have a baby. Is there a value missing? Is there a worthiness missing?

Do you not know how beautiful and amazing you are that you don't need a baby to make you something? You already are enough right now. You you the attention doesn't need to be in that way. Like, we don't need to get attention that way. We need you to arise and shine for where you are, who you are now, and and think about how can I do this the right way?

If even if you do wanna have a baby, that's that's a natural desire, and that is a gift actually to want to be a mother, and that's a blessing. But we need to stay in context. We need to stay in order. If we get out of alignment and we don't know how to handle that weight when it comes, there is great destruction that can be you know, it can just cause destruction. And so I would tell her right now that you are enough and you are worthy.

You don't need to have a baby to be enough to show up today. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because I brought that up because I know it's a real issue, and I'm glad that you spoke directly to the the portion of that audience that I was thinking about, which is a lot there are girls out there.

They won't necessarily always say it out loud, But Yeah. They wanna have a baby because they need someone to love them unconditionally because they've never experienced that in life, and they think that a baby's gonna do that for them. And there is a portion of of of girls out there who are actually thinking that, and I agree with Portia. Please don't do that because you're making it harder. You're making a hard life harder when you do it because of that.

Yeah. You know, if you if if you have sex and you get pregnant and you it is hey. Stuff happens. But don't go out there and intentionally do it and make your life harder. You know?

You know, Portia has a great story where she's had the victory over it, but she was also but she also had support. She was also determined. She didn't just lie down and take it. I mean, those are key elements in the success of her story. And I'm saying that in particular to you girls that are listening right now, that are of that mindset.

Don't run out and and change the rest of your life because it's cute right now. You know? Because it's you think you want that right now. It's it's it's a very bad thing to do, and you can also affect the life of the child that you're raising. A %.

Yeah. I I wanted to ask you, Portia. Does being a teen mom and what it's done for your life, does it have anything to do with what you do now? Has it had any effect on that? I love this question, and, of course, it does.

Of course, there's no way it couldn't. You know? And I think the greatest thing how being a teen mom affects my life today is that because I put myself into a place, let's be real, I I made a choice and I put myself into a place. I I put myself into a place with a person that, was who who he was and and did what he did, I had to overcome a lot of stuff. So let's talk, like, if I'm being for real, like, abuse, mental, like, physical abuse, mental abuse, narcissistic.

Like, I had to deal with this purse you know? Like, what's going on? I had to navigate as a 15 year old thing. And and still, I didn't know my dad. So I, again, I was looking for love.

I wanted to be loved, and I I I trusted this person that now I'm having a baby with to love me, and he didn't He didn't do that. And he abused me. He cheated me. And we actually weren't even together when I was pregnant. We broke up, like, just a a month or two after I got pregnant.

So, I was completely alone. Right? And so that's another reason why you don't wanna just go get pregnant because these boys are not ready for this. Like, they're not. And but all of that that I went through and what I've gone through, like, even today, I'm 37 years old.

I am learning things today that I should have learned when I was 16. Mhmm. I'm learning things today that I should have learned when I was 13. Like, there's things that I'm learning today because I had to focus my attention on her and surviving and protecting her and doing my very best to, like, just shield her from whatever, that I I lost out on a lot of personal development that I am now making up. You know what I'm saying?

So Oh, yeah. So, man, did it change my life. And so my greatest mission today is this conversation. My greatest mission is to empower that woman to show up powerfully in sparkle, to overcome if she is overcoming, but, also, let me tell you what not to do. Like so I just No.

For me. Yeah. Yeah. So that is my greatest mission, and that's what it's changed. That's what it like, my life today, that's how it affected me.

And now I get to raise daughters. And, you know, to be honest with the situation with my first daughter, she saved my life. I love her to the moon and back. But guess what? She made some choices because of the cards that she was dealt, and we actually don't have a solid relationship today.

But I do have a 16 year old, and I get to teach her what I didn't get to teach my oldest because of all the stuff that she had to deal with. She made a decision to go live with her dad. And so that, like, there's there's there's so much to, like, how much I have overcame, but I couldn't do it alone, obviously. By the grace of god, I have peace that surpasses understanding that carries me and teaches me, and now I get to pass on wisdom of, like, that all that unworthiness that I dealt with, all that insecurity that I dealt with. I get to give that to my kids.

So now I have three more kids that I'm teaching. So, yeah, it changed my life significantly, and it it it actually helped me become a stronger human. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I'm stronger today, from from everything, from becoming that mama at 14 to now being a, you know, four times mama at 37, still learning, still growing, still overcoming. Right. But it's been a it's been a hard, beautiful journey, if I could put it in just a couple words.

Yes. I I totally get it. In this case, we're talking about being a teen mom, but what you just said could apply to about a hundred other things in life I could think about right now. Mhmm. I can even apply everything you just said to parts of my life.

You know? I've been through a lot too. And, little by little, I'll let the public know some things as is relevant. But, I I just I love that you've turned you've taken your your hardship, your tragedy, whatever term you wanna give it, I'll say hardship, and turned it into triumph by by using it as a driver to help other women. Yeah.

You know, that's what I hear when you say it is that you what you went through now drives you to help other women. Just like what I've gone through with my own most self value, drives me to do this podcast and many other things that I do that I don't even put on the air, you know, and helping with with young women in particular. And and I think it's so important to uplift other women, and young girls and make sure that they know that they actually have value. And not just because someone says so because it sounds nice, but because you know, get them to actually believe it for themselves. You know?

And I love that you're doing that for women right now. So I I still see it as the teenage girl in you is still there. And Oh, yeah. She is she is moving to help the other teenage girls who are grown adults now Yeah. In their bodies.

Yeah. But still teenage girls. Hell, yeah. Because we don't always grow up like we should. You know?

And and your story is a lot of people's stories. It's not just it's not just Portia. You know? There's there's a lot of people that have similar stories, where we didn't grow in areas that we should have. I know for myself, man, there's some things that some hard things that I went over went through over the past year that I had to recognize that there were things that I should have learned as teenagers.

And I didn't. You know? And I I didn't really the light bulb didn't come on until I got smacked upside to, hey, what it is. You know? So Come on.

I I think it's applicable to so many parts of life and not just with teenage girls. But if you're listening right now, I really want you to hear Portia's story and hear yourself and her story. If you are pregnant or maybe you're thinking about getting pregnant because you think it's the answer to to your problems, please consider. But if it does happen, there is hope as long as you have the elements that you've heard Portia have. Because there's plenty of stories out there with people who didn't have support, didn't have a good program like she was in, which was another form of support.

She had support at home, support at school. I know not all of you have that, and that's a that that makes it a lot harder. But please just reconsider if you're one of those ladies and if you are pregnant and you're feeling hopeless, there is hope for you. There are people who do care. There are programs out there you probably don't know about, that do exist all over this country.

You know, just just know that there's hope. Now for Portia, I always have to do my little preaching at the end. I'm very passionate about, you know, helping young women especially. So you have there is one stethoscope okay. Go ahead.

There is one thing that as you were talking, I I heard, because having a having a child at whatever age, it doesn't matter what age, like but there's something important that you need to know that even even right now, I have somebody in my life that's going through it currently, and I've been through it. So even though we have children and if we have the children out of the wrong motive and say say it was like you said, Fatima, I won't have child to feel that unconditional love. Let me tell you that it's not promised. Unconditional love from another person is never promised because they have decisions and they have free will no matter what. And so at an early age, I had to learn very quickly.

I was I was, yeah, I was pregnant with my last baby. I had just had a baby. And my daughter we were going through some custody stuff, and my daughter made a decision. And at that moment, I was left. I was I was left to either fall to fall to the ground and pity myself and fall into unworthiness, self loathing, and all the things.

I'm not good enough. Why? Or I could fall into what god said. Hey. You either gonna do that or you're gonna fall into the identity that I gave you.

You're you are Portia Franklin. You are your your label is not, you know, her mother. You're not just a mom. Like, yeah, you're a mom, but you are a woman. You are Portia.

So are you going to fall to that identity, or are you gonna arise to the identity that I actually given you? So at that moment, I had to learn to detach and go, you know what? Okay. I'm not falling. I refuse.

Okay. Because that's just a fighter in me. But I said, you know what? I'm going to dig into this. I'm gonna learn who I am and my identity as Portia Franklin, as, not only a mom, but a woman, a a mighty woman.

Right? So I had to detach because I had to understand people will make decisions and people will always let us down if we allow them to. But I can't I can't control her decision to to do whatever she wants to do even if it hurts. So there is at the end of the day, I wanna speak to what we are talking about. There is no promise of of unconditional love from our children.

So, yeah. So just with that, we love our children. We let them make their decisions and let them know, like, hey. It's the open door is here, but we do set boundaries and you're welcome to come back when you're ready. But your decision has put us in jeopardy.

So, like, I have to make the decision to love you from here. Right? So, like, in even with people, that's in any relationship, really. So we have to separate ourselves from our husband, from our from our children, from our friends. Like, we have to learn who our identity is to be really emotionally intelligent and strong humans in this world to rise and be impactful for our family.

Excellent. Excellent. Excellent point. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah.

Mhmm. There's no guarantee that when we have our child for unconditional love and there's adults listening out there who right now probably have a tear in their eye because they know we're talking about them too. When you have a child with the intention of receiving unconditional love, doesn't mean that you're gonna receive it. And then when you don't, it actually hurts worse than it did in the first place. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Something to think about. Yeah. Excellent point. Thank you.

And so, can you very briefly tell us, very briefly tell us about your podcast and how people can find you? Absolutely. So my podcast is Sparkle with Portia Franklin, where we are disrupting toxic patterns, and we are going in and shifting the line mindsets to the truth and empowering you to show up and sparkle. And I am on Instagram, at Portia dot Franklin, and that's where you can find me. And I wanna add, I absolutely love Portia, and I'm giving all of my audience the assignment to, to, listen to her podcast, to, you know, subscribe to her podcast.

She has a lot of good things to say. I I know for a fact that her podcast hasn't even covered, a small portion of what she's got to say. So, I you know, please listen to her. She's, you know, she's she's coming from the heart, and she's very genuine like me. So I I appreciate that, I appreciate that about you, Portia.

And I hope that your podcast does what it set out to do and help the women that you intend to help. Well, thank you, Portia, for for coming on today. I really appreciate you being a guest on the show today, and my hopes are that this message is penetrating some hearts and minds. I'm so honored. I thank you so much, Fatima.

Bless you, and I'm so excited. And now for a mind shifting moment. Life will bring you challenges, whether we bring them on ourselves or they're tossed at us. Regardless of how they came about, what you do with that challenge is completely up to you. Portia could have just wallowed in self pity in her situation, but she didn't.

She was determined to succeed regardless of what was going on. And I want you to pull that out of her story because regardless of what you're going through right now, you can succeed too. Your success might look different than mine. It might look different than hers and that's okay. But you can be determined to be as successful as you can through your situation to do the best you can with it.

The other key part of her story is support. It is extremely, extremely important that you get the support that you need. And if you don't already have that around you, find it. Go out and seek it out. It's not going to fall in your lap, But I can promise you, there are those we are out there.

There are those of us who care and are totally willing to be a help for you in one way or another. We care, and we want to help, but we need to know that you need us first and that you're willing to allow us to be there. Seek the help that you need. Get the support that you need because I don't care who you are, you need support. And for anybody listening, whatever you're going through right now, I just wanna give you a big fat hug and let you know that there is somebody out here who actually cares.

Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit fatimabay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.