FOR YOUNG MEN - Getting Through High School (Episode 24)

🎧 Looking for real talk about navigating life as a young man today? High school teacher, football coach, and author Roger Pollard drops wisdom that goes way beyond the classroom and field. In this powerful episode, he gets candid about what it really means to grow into manhood in today's world.

Drawing from his unique perspective as an educator, coach, and mentor, Roger tackles the challenges young men face with straight-up honesty and practical advice you won't hear anywhere else. No sugarcoating - just real strategies for real life.

This game-changing episode covers:

• Balancing academics, athletics, and personal growth
• Dealing with society's expectations of young men
• Building genuine confidence (not just showing toughness)
• Navigating relationships, respect, and reputation
• Making decisions that set you up for future success
• Finding your authentic identity as a young man

Perfect for: Teen guys navigating high school, student athletes, young men seeking guidance, and anyone wanting to understand today's male experience.

Features straight-talking advice from someone who's both lived it and helped countless young men find their path to success.

To learn more about Robert Pollard, please visit:

https://www.motiveinmotivation.com/

For his books:

The Book Everyone Should Read

Courage, Love, Discipline

Transcript

Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome. Today's episode is specifically for young men. And, I feel that encouragement is more powerful coming from a man.

So on today's episode, instead of you listening to another mother figure giving you some encouragement, I'm a let you get it from a man. So on today's episode, we have our guest here, Roger Pollard. And he is from Miami, Florida. He is currently a high school teacher, and he's the owner of Motive and Motivation and a very powerful motivational speaker. How are you today, Roger?

I am outstanding. How are you doing? Good. Good. So let's just dive.

I like to dive right into it. So tell me what you hear expressed tell me what you hear expressed from young men the most. The number one thing in the high school setting I I teach ninth graders is, they don't like x, y, or z. They don't like math class. They don't like English class.

They don't, you know, the teachers are out and above or or on them. And and what I constantly tell them is we we've gotta get more into facts and and and leave the feelings at home. You know, at the at the end of the day, as a man, as as a as a male in our society, and I guess it sucks, maybe, but our feelings kinda really don't matter, I would say. Where where we what we really gotta focus in on is what is it that we are trying to attain? What is it that we are trying to do?

I don't know any football players, as I used to coach football, that loved the squat rack. They loved the results that squatting got them. They loved the results that that hard work got them. But we're either gonna be result oriented or we're gonna be feeling oriented, but we cannot wish to get the results from the feelings. So, hey, if you don't like math class, it's not about liking the class.

It's about liking whatever grade you're willing to sacrifice and put in the work to attain. So, that's that's my my number one, I guess, asset or my number one thing that I'm that I'm always hearing from my kids is is how much they don't like this or how much they don't like that. And how do they react when you tell them that? The the number one answer is I know. I think, I mean, I get that answer from from my kids.

You know? They're eight years old, and they say I know, and I've gotten to the point now where I don't care about what you know, it's about what you do. I say belief Yes. Isn't isn't a thought. A belief is an action.

A belief is a state of mind. A belief is a, a way in which you deliver yourself upon the world, and that's not words. I know in advertising or in commercials or in TV or I mean, even as we speak into this now, we're doing it through communicating through words, but we we believe action more than words. Right? I can have and the the example I give them is, your significant other boyfriend, girlfriend, whoever friend can tell you that they love you, but if they're kissing somebody right in front of your face, are you gonna believe what they say?

Are you gonna believe what they do? So it's your actions that we have to guide that we have to go off of. And with that, knowing that, watch yourself. Watch how you're acting. Watch how you're speaking.

Watch how you're thinking over a two week period, and then start coming up with what you believe your belief system is. Because the first person we learn to lie to is ourselves, and we are masters at that, especially at that age. Oh, say that again. It is absolutely true. The first person we learn to lie to is ourselves.

And then once we are willing to unlie to ourselves, that's when we begin to grow and actually get better and get better results. So what I hear what I'm pulling out from what you said, a moment ago was instead of focusing on your feelings, focusing on what it is you wanna reach or accomplish. Just like me and football or basketball, that's what they do. Yeah. It's it's you, you playing basketball or you're playing football or or and and you miss a shot.

Okay. You didn't like that, but you don't care. You're gonna go run, get the ball, and you're gonna try and take another shot. Like, I I think we've we've focused a little bit too much on the end product in our sporting world and not the processes that bring the success. Like, sports and extracurricular activities were are are there, I think, to instantiate the the the procedures in which we have to take in order to be successful.

Okay. If I wanna be a great basketball player, do I show up to practice? Yes. Do I give a good effort? Yes.

Do I do I am I detailed about my organizational skills knowing that I have homework, school work, projects, and practice? Yes. Now if you if you take that mindset and concept and and, and you move it to being successful in math, well, hey. Do I do my homework every day? Do I plan things out?

Do I give a good effort when I'm practicing? Right? If we use the things that make us successful in these sports, then those things travel across, different domains, so to speak. And then I say if if you're if you know how to walk, then I know for a fact you know how to be successful. Because when you were learning how to walk, you didn't care what your what kind of shoes you had on.

You didn't care if you didn't like the place that you were learning how to walk. All you knew is that if you fell, you were gonna climb up and you were going to try and learn how to walk again. So use that same tool set that you used in learning how to walk and learning how to do something that you may not like to do. Whether it's math class, whether it's English class, whether it's Spanish class, especially in today's age, all I need to know is the topic. If I don't like how if I don't like the relationship that I have with my teacher, I can go home and I can get on the Internet, and I could say factoring polynomials and watch a YouTube video with a teacher that I do like.

The the the purpose of school isn't to learn in my eyes. I say the purpose of school is to learn how you learn. How do we learn as individuals? It was Jean Piaget who said, you know, a a biology book from fifty years ago is totally different than a biology book from today. That means that all of those facts have changed.

So if all the facts always change and we're always learning facts, then the point of the educational system isn't about the facts. It's about your ability to learn them. And if you can learn if you can learn things that you don't wanna learn when you start your own business, when you're working, when you're a father and you have how many stresses, you will learn how it is that you need to learn what you want to learn at that point. Because if you can learn things you don't wanna learn, you can definitely learn things that you want to learn. Yes.

Amen to that. I wanna switch it over a little bit. Because, again, this episode is is for young men. Clearly, I'm not a young man, and I don't know what it's like to grow up to in in in this world currently as a young man. You do.

You work with young men and your man. What do you think are, just just give me one, maybe two at the most biggest challenges aside from what we just talked about, biggest challenges that young men have from ninth to twelfth grade today? I think the the biggest one would be organization. Like, the the their their organizational skills. I don't know.

I think, in our society, we've we've kind of, elongated the adolescence phase where, there are just certain things there are certain things, there are certain habits, there are certain ways in which we have to start behaving if we want a specific result, specifically if that result is on the higher tier. Right? If I I ask all of my high school students, you know, how many of you guys wanna be rich? How many of you guys wanna be a millionaire? And everybody raises their hand.

Well, there are certain attributes that are consistent with people of that caliber. Like, one, do you write all of your homework down in one place? Right? The the amount of information that the individual person is going through right now, especially for young males, right, with video games and all these other things, We have so many more distractions, and I'm not saying not to be distracted. I'm saying don't be distracted all the time.

And we have a constant distraction that's on our hip that if we leave home without our phone, many of us will turn around and run right back. But that is a it it's it's a distraction, explosion, right, that are going on in your phone. So, my number one thing for them is be organized. Just have a have and you can use your phone to do it. Put all of your quizzes in your phone.

Put all of your homework assignments in your phone. Put put everything that's important to you that has to do with school in one location and come up with a system. What is like, you have a when when you wake up, you pretty much probably most of us for the first ten minutes, barring that we're, you know, running on time, we probably all have a a system. Oh, I get up. I stretch.

I I go brush my teeth. Then I go to bed. Right? We have a system when we wake up. What is your system with school?

Right? With all of your with all of your subjects. Don't have everything all over the place and and because that's just it's not going to work. And then two is, managing distractions. And then and and I guess I'll say it like this, have have points of reflection.

The natural points of reflection for all high school students are report cards and progress reports. You can't look at the progress report, and if it's a grade that you do not like, blame it on someone else. What is it that I have to do to get my grade where it needs to be? Where I would like it to be? What kind of sacrifices am I willing to make?

And, hey, you are gonna come across something that does that you do not mesh with. That's life. No no one is great at everything. Right? We all know that.

So is it something that you could do, but your system isn't allowing you to do at your at your best ability? Or, is it something that's really and truly hard for you and that just goes back to, hey, look, you know, who cares about it? Figure out how to get it done. Whether you need to look at extra videos at home, whether you need to get a tutor, whether you need to do like, what is it that you're going to do to get yourself out of that situation? Because everybody is gonna have a challenge at some point in their life.

That is absolutely true. And we talked a lot about, academics. I wanna talk a little bit more on the social end of getting through high school. And, I and I'm gonna ask you this not because I am a young man, but because I see this from young men quite a bit. And I'm sure you do too, as a high school teacher.

You know, there's a lot of young men who kinda feel like the world is against them. I'm not talking about the culture that we once lived in. I'm talking about right now in 02/2324. What what advice do you have for young men who really feel like the world is against them as a young man? My advice is welcome to adulthood.

I I, I I follow a, like, a little National Geographic page on my on my Instagram, and there's zebras getting hunted by lions. There's lions getting eaten by alligators. There's eagles getting chased down by cheetahs. There's, like, that is the natural world. And it yes.

It does suck. So come up with a like, high school isn't only about the educational factor. It's also about the sociological factors. Right? How are you socializing and making friends?

Because they they call it making friends in high school, but then when you get older and you get out of school, now we'll call it networking. Right? We we are we are Exactly. The human beings that we are is a product of the the the group. Right?

Like, did you come up with your language? Right? How do you get to school? You you take a you take a bus. Did you make the bus?

Did you make the street signs? Did you make the road? We are more of a culmination of the things that we have done as a group. But even with and within that, right, we're always comparing ourselves to each other. It's just this is how we work.

So, one is, yes, that is that's I hear you. I feel you. Now figure out who are you. Like, what do you like? Why do you like it?

And where is what you like leading you? I mean, the the the the things that that you listen to, the things that they that you watch infects and influences you. Are they influencing you in the right way or in the wrong way? Right? Is there a right path and a wrong path?

Yes. Are the things that you watch and listen to influencing you? Yes. Well, what are they? How are they?

And how is that, shaping and molding your worldview upon you? Maybe everybody's not against you. Maybe maybe the actions that you're taking are more against you than everybody else. Right? Maybe That's a perspective.

Maybe, through, you know, not exercising the right way, not sleeping the right way, not not, not eating the right way has you feeling down, and that has nothing to do with any anybody other than you. You know? So, start looking at what am I doing on a daily basis that could hurt my future, and and how am I going to remedy that? How am I going to change that? Because I think we have too much of a hubristic or a prideful relationship with the person that we are.

Like, we're not totally in control of ourselves. And I'll ask any high school kid right now, how easy is it for you to pay attention in class when you're bored? It is. It's phenomenally difficult. So we don't we're not in total control of ourselves.

We are influenced by outside factors. And what what factors are you, being intentional about in delivering to yourself that you know will put you in a situation that you wanna be in in your future? Yes. I so what I'm hearing is that their feelings are valid, but it's a reality you gotta deal with. So what are you gonna do about it?

What are you gonna actually do to get ahead instead of sitting under, I would say whimpering under? The world's against me, so I'm not gonna try. Because I hear that. You know, I've heard that from from, you know, young young moms at times. And I don't want them to feel that discouraged.

But Well, it's I and I don't either. But, you know, at the same time, what's hidden behind that is a lot of people don't set goals because goals actually highlight how I'm falling short. Right? The the only way the only way that the human body feels any positive emotion is by seeing yourself move towards a goal. Well, if our kids don't have goals, then they don't have positive emotions.

So when when kids start talking that I'm okay. What are your goals? Give me two or three goals. Give me a a long term goal, a medium term goal, and a short term goal that you have. If you brush your teeth every morning, put them on your mirror in your bathroom so that you can brush your teeth, and you're looking.

You're constantly reminding yourself because the human brain the human brain is made to forget. You are listening to this podcast right now. Well, tell me what was the first thing that was said. You can't you can't bring it up because the human brain forgets more than it remembers. So what are you doing to remind yourself about things that are important to you on a daily basis?

And now once you do that, now you're gonna see yourself take more steps towards it, and then you're gonna you are actually changing how you feel. You can't talk yourself into changing how you feel, but you can change how you act. And when you change how you act, you change how you feel. So give me a list of your goals. Just put them up there.

See them every day. And now you're you're you're that is going to change from a physiological level. I'm not talking about opinions. I'm talking about measurable facts and and dopamine release in your body. And and voila, you have it right there.

And that's what I was looking for. That was perfectly said, I I believe. Yeah. Everything you just said, I just I don't even need to add to it, everything you just said. I'm gonna switch it up a little bit.

Something that I didn't mention I did not mention in the beginning, because I try to keep my introduction super super short. You wrote a book, and that book is called The Book Everyone Should Read. Can you tell us a little bit about because I think it I really believe it ties into this conversation. Tell us a little bit about, you know, what the book is about very briefly, but I really want them to hear why you started it in the first place or why you wrote it in the first place. Yeah.

The, the book was is I you know, I've been I've been, high school football coach, head coach, defensive coordinator, and a and a teacher for over fifteen years. And and what I I I was looking around, and I was just saying, you know what? I don't I know that a % of people you know, if it's not a %, it's 98% of people are going to work with other people in their lives. I don't know how much we're doing in educating people around other people when we know that that's the greatest track. I don't know if you're gonna everybody has to take math, but I don't know if you're gonna be an accountant.

And I know that 98% of the people who take math aren't gonna be in an accountant. You know, I don't know we don't do so many different things that we're teaching our kids in high school that they may not go into that particular field, but I think a % of people are gonna work with other people. So I was I I I said, you know what? The the number one thing that I want my my kids to learn about is other people and and learn. What do we know as a human species about human beings?

And I looked at it from a psychological perspective and a sociological perspective because that's who we are as individuals. We're we're not only the individual, but we are also part of a group. So I I wanted to write that, and and it wasn't about making money. It wasn't about making book sales. It was for my kids.

So my kids, by then, they're eight year old twins, boy, girl. They see daddy working, working. What are you working on? I'm working on your book. I'm working on your book.

And when it came out, it was you know, they were happy about it, And they tried to read it, couldn't. Right? It's above their level. But, it was something I wanted to leave for them just because I I see I constantly see the mistakes that that ninth graders kind of make. And I I kinda feel like there's a void in how we're approaching, that educational aspect in giving our little our future, literally it's I mean, kids are literally our the human species future.

A better a better, a better way to walk forward in life and understand some of the some of the feelings that they may they may be feeling, whether from a personality perspective. How neurotic are you? Neuroticism is how sensitive you are to negative emotion. If I don't know that, then how can I put my career? If I'm a very sensitive person, why would I go into a high stress job?

That doesn't make any sense. It's counterintuitive. So I think the first thing we have to do is teach our our kids, teach our future where where do human beings lie on these perspectives, And then where are they lying from a sociological perspective as well? Because, we found this out in World War one or two. I forget.

Babies that are given everything that they need other than touch will die. So we're not sea turtles. We can't just hatch and go off. We actually need to be part of a group. We have to be part of that organizational aspect.

So giving that information out so that now a kid can say, oh, you know what? Wow. I'm really orderly or I'm not that orderly. Right? A lot of my kids, a lot of my male kids, they're just not orderly.

Well, knowing that now, now you have to make it more of a point to plan those things into your life. Right? So if I don't know where if I don't know the areas in which I am lacking, then I can never be be intentional about growing them. So in order to hit a target, I must identify a target, and that's what that's for for my for my children and then for for anybody who might hear me talk and who can get to enter as a main subject. So what I'm hearing when I'm drawing from that and and if if I'm gonna put give it a very short summary, I would say, The book is about the importance of understanding and connecting to other people because we need to in life.

Yes. It and it's and and giving giving, the the makeup because the the human being is way too complex. It's not even complex. It's complex. We can't I can't identify a human being.

Right? A human being is is so unique and so precious, and and so we can take stabs at trying to personify, you know, individuals and people. So it's different ways in which we are I guess I'm trying to deliver a vocabulary that people can have that that that the kids can kinda start to discover who they are as individuals. And so I'm like, I can't know I can't know if I'm conscientious if I don't know what that word means. Alright.

So it's building a vocabulary of of, of of personality and and sociology within an individual. Yes. I, I try to do that with my show and and even just beyond here. When I speak and do workshops, I intentionally don't use, I don't use a lot of buzzwords. I don't use a lot of common academic words because people have different associations with those words.

And I instead will describe what I mean instead of using the word. It can be a little more long winded at times, but not that much more long winded, but I find that it's more effective in reaching people because I'm not really that interested in being impressive. I'm interested in being impactful. So being able to to to reach people, I think I think verbiage matters, but you also have to look at who you're talking to. If I'm talking to a room of professors, I will absolutely use all the biggest academic words that I know.

But if I'm talking to just about anybody else, I stay away from those words. Because it's you know, as you said, the words matter. But sometimes I think we forget what that means. It's not what it means on paper. It's what it means to the people you're talking to.

And if we think that way, we will speak differently, which is why you hear me rephrase things all the time. You will hear me I make up words all the time, but I will take a proper word and make it very improper. And 99% of the time, you immediately get what I mean without explanation. Like, when I tell people that you get therapized. I when I say get therapized, I don't really need to explain that.

That is not a real word, but but I've made it a word that I use commonly because it explains everything. And people get it. You know, people get it when you say that and and it you know? Well, words words are representations of ideas. And if if these ideas that we're speaking on, if I say a word and you say a word and both were saying the same word, but the meaning is different, it's Yes.

I think it's almost better to to speak about things in detail so that we we are actually because communication is I am I am pushing data and information towards you. You are receiving it. You are accumulating it in your brain, and then you're bringing it back to me, and that's what a conversation is. A conversation is in between the two people. Right.

It it it exists, you know, somewhere else. So a %, a %, I am I'm yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

And, yeah, I know that you understand that as a teacher because I'm sure as a teacher, you don't always use the same exact words. Well, maybe you do it automatically, but, you can't just you have to use the words that are in a book, but you also have to use words that are gonna help them to understand the concepts. I know when I used to tutor math, I would not I would stay away. I would intentionally, while I'm tutoring them, I would stay away from the mathematical, verbiage. I would stay away from the the name of that equation, and I would focus on what that equation means and getting them to understand the concept.

Once they understand the concept, then I would attach to, like, the name. And they would get it, and they're like, oh my god. I actually understood that. And I'm like, you can. You just gotta break it down differently than how we're giving it to you.

But, anyway, it's been really great. Your time. It's really it's been really great talking to you, and, I like hearing other people's, perspective on some of the same things, that I talk about. And that's you know, I think it's important to to promote that as well and that we're not always just hearing the way I see things, and people aren't always just hearing what you have to say. It's important that we're we're able to to, you know I think it's important to have people on here who don't talk like me.

We talk about the same thing. We believe a lot of the same thing, but we don't but you don't talk like me, which is beautiful because that means that you're reaching people that wouldn't that I wouldn't reach in certain aspects, if that makes sense. Yes. That's But I I I love that. And I I I always go back to African term, Ubuntu, and that means I am because you are.

The only reason I can identify myself as me is because there are other people who are different than me. Alright? Like, it's it's, I would be we've got a big thing on diversity right now. If everybody looked exactly like you, thought like you, spoke like you, you wouldn't have there would be no I. Right?

There would be no individual person. So my message to all my kids is you refer to yourself as I, and in the center of your eye is a pupil. And that pupil means that forever as long as you're going to identify yourself as an individual, you will always be a student, and the classroom will be life. And as long as you're a student, you are gonna make mistakes. You are gonna, you know, go down some wrong roads.

Yes. Yes. Important thing is you extract the lesson and blessing from the experience, and then you're winning. Period. Point winner.

Yes. So I am a % with you on what you're saying. Well, thank you again, Roger, for, mister Pollard, for coming out, and being willing to to to be on the to be on the show today. And I'm hoping that some young men were listening, that really got something out of this. And if you're not a young man, if you got some out of it, that's beautiful too.

And, and if you could, before we go, just tell people where they could where and how they could find you. They can find me at www.motiveandmotivation.com. And then my Instagram is the number one, Roger Pollard, on Instagram. And those are my my two things. And then my email address is putmotiveandmotivation@Gmail.com.

If anybody ever has any questions or or, just wants some advice, I I, give information back out, and we can have a little conversation on there. And your the the videos that I saw were on your website as well. Correct? Yes. Videos of you being guest and speaking.

Okay. Yes. Yeah. So, my podcast, like like this will get, shot on my on my, on my website and then, little information. I'm I'm planning on on starting to break down some of the concepts from, my books, because I started off with this first one about the book everyone should read, but that moved into a virtue book, courage, love, and discipline, which is now moving into a third book, which is origins and actions.

So, all of that information, all the all of the stuff that's in there, I know nobody likes to read nowadays. So I'm gonna once I finish this third book, I'm gonna I'm gonna start putting videos on the on the website. So Okay. The point is to get the information out there to help people, feel a better sense of self. Alright.

Well, thank you once again for coming on the show. Yes. Thank you for having me. And now for a mind shifting moment. Young man, young man, I want you to know that you're important, you matter, and how you feel matters too.

One of the biggest things I want you to hear today is that it is okay to talk about how you are feeling. And, no, you don't have to get all girly about it. But be honest. And if you feel more comfortable talking to a man about it, hey. Go ahead.

There's nothing wrong with that. But whatever you're dealing with and whatever you're going through, it's probably just like so many other people, but you need to talk about it because, honestly, talking about stuff is how you get over it. If you don't talk about it and you cover it up and you hold it in, you stay under it. Find a man around you who you can talk to. Find someone who understands what you have experienced, what it's like to to live through some of the things that you're dealing with.

They're out there, but they are not gonna come up to you and say, hey. I'm here. You have to go out and find them. You have to let them know that you want the guidance, that you want to have somebody to talk to. Please reach out.

Please, please, please reach out. Because as with anyone, when we don't deal with our issues and we don't talk about the things we need to talk to, male or female, doesn't matter, we explode. Men explode a little bit differently than women most of the time. Please make sure you are talking to somebody. If if you can't if you're not comfortable with a therapist, your friend's father, the neighborhood guy down the street, somebody at church, someone, you are worth it.

Reach out. Thank you for listening to mind shift power podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast. Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking.

Tune in for next week.