Beyond Blank Pages: A Transformative Approach to Teen Journaling (Episode 86)

The words we use when talking to ourselves carry immense power to shape our identity, confidence, and entire life trajectory. Yet for many young women, that inner voice often becomes their harshest critic. In this enlightening conversation, author Kristina Hardy shares her remarkable journey from severe unhappiness and being 170 pounds heavier to finding joy and self-acceptance through transforming her inner dialogue.

Kristina reveals the unique guided journal she created specifically for teen girls that combines poetry with reflective questions. Unlike typical journals with blank pages, her approach guides users through a structured process of self-discovery that can be revisited over time to track personal growth. "Words take root, they start to bloom, and what you speak, your soul consumes," reads one of her poems, capturing how casual self-criticism gradually becomes our deepest beliefs.

What makes Kristina's method powerful is that it addresses both the content and method of self-reflection. She explains why physically writing thoughts on paper creates a different psychological impact than typing notes on a phone. The journal helps teens identify negative thought patterns they might not even recognize—those casual self-deprecating jokes and fleeting criticisms that gradually erode self-worth. Through guided questions following each poem, users explore how their words shape their reality and learn to replace harmful patterns with affirming ones.

Host Fatima Bey builds on Kristina's insights by suggesting teens document every thought about themselves for 24 hours, revealing how we often speak to ourselves in ways we'd never address a friend. This eye-opening exercise pairs perfectly with Kristina's journal process, helping young women develop the self-awareness needed for meaningful change. Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Grab Kristina's journal with our exclusive listener discount and start speaking to yourself with the same compassion you offer others.

To purchase Kristina's journal, There's Poetry is Self-Discovery with the special MindShift Power Podcast listener discount, please click below.

https://beaniesbooksandstuff.etsy.com/?coupon=MINDSHIFT25

To listen to or read the blog Fightn' Words referred to during this episode, please click below.

Fightin' Words

Chapters

• 0:01 Meet Christina Hardy's Transformation
• 4:02 The Impact of Words We Tell Ourselves
• 6:40 Exploring The Guided Journal for Teens
• 11:35 Why Writing Instead of Digital Journaling
• 19:32 Respecting Yourself As You Do Others
• 22:46 Mind Shifting Moment on Self-Talk

Transcript

Fatima: 0:01

Welcome to MindShift Power Podcast, the only international podcast focused on teens, connecting young voices and perspectives from around the world. Get ready to explore the issues that matter to today's youth and shape tomorrow's world. I'm your host, fatima Bey, the MindShifter, and welcome everyone. Today we have with us Kristina Hardy. She is in upstate New York, she is an author and she is a regular everyday woman who has come a long way with her own growth and development and she has something she wants to share that is especially meaningful for teen girls. How are you doing today, Kristina? I'm doing well, thank you Great, so tell us a bit about who you were versus who you are now. That's a tough question.

Kristina: 0:51

The person I used to be was very unhappy. I was very overweight, I was unhealthy in a lot of ways and today I am about 170 pounds less than I used to weigh. I am in a happy, healthy relationship and I have a very positive outlook on life.

Fatima: 1:12

Wow, that is a very, very big difference. So what happened in between those two people?

Kristina: 1:20

A lot of growth, a lot of soul searching, a lot of going inside.

Fatima: 1:25

Was that always comfortable? No, can you give us an example of something that happened or that you did? That was a part of that journey?

Kristina: 1:32

Absolutely. There's a couple things, one of which is mantras. I think that mantras are very important. I think that the words that you tell yourself make a difference on the inside, and words are very, very important. So I would say mantras every day. I would look in the mirror, and the mirror was another thing that was very difficult for me to get past. I had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror.

Fatima: 1:58

There are a lot and I do mean a lot of young women out there that can make that very same statement. To get them to look in the mirror and really, really look in the mirror, and not just teenage girls. I have counseled grown women in their 60s and it's difficult for them to look in the mirror. So it is not just you, and I'm mentioning that because I really want the audience to know that they're not alone in that. They're not alone in that struggle. So mantras. So what are some of those mantras?

Kristina: 2:29

They are. Anything it has to be. It can be something simple and not complicated, like. I am worthy, I am beautiful, I'm a good person, I deserve to be happy and that worked for you.

Fatima: 2:42

It did, it did. I deserve to be happy.

Kristina: 2:42

And that worked for you. It did, it did, and as time grew on, I got more complicated, let's say with them, as to what I needed to work on.

Fatima: 2:52

What made you believe that you're worthy?

Kristina: 2:56

I think that just hearing myself say that helped make me feel worthy. But there's so many reasons why I'm worthy so I didn't really why.

Fatima: 3:07

Why are you worthy?

Kristina: 3:09

I am worthy because I add value to things in people's lives. I am a great listener, I give great advice. I have a certain way to add value to anybody's life, depending on who they are.

Fatima: 3:26

So you didn't just say these things because they're great soundbites. You actually dug deep into figuring out why.

Kristina: 3:33

Correct and at first yeah, but at first they were just soundbites and then after a while, they became more than soundbites.

Fatima: 3:43

Very, very good point, christina. So, having said all of that, you've created this journal and we're on here to talk about this journal and I don't typically have people on here talking about journals because, quite frankly, journals are a dime a dozen, but yours is different and that's why I have you on here today. So tell the audience about this journal that you created.

Kristina: 4:02

It is a process. It is not just a journal with a bunch of lines on a page. It has seven poems I think it's seven and each poem then has questions that follow it. So these poems are all about different types of things to work on in your life. And then there's self-discovery pages that help guide you with the things that you might've read in the poem. And then this book repeats four different times and what you do is you take a period of time, be it six weeks, three months.

Kristina: 4:37

I suggest doing this over the course of a year, just because it gives you a long period of time to get some sort of results. You read the poems, you go through the first section in whatever period of time. You come back, you read the poems, you go through the section again and then you compare what you did from the previous one or two or whatever section you're on. When you get done with that, you can kind of see things starting to filter out as to what you need to work on, where you've gone. Where you're going, it will help you to find your direction to grow.

Fatima: 5:11

And it'll also show where you already have grown.

Kristina: 5:14

Correct.

Fatima: 5:15

Correct, and that's. I think that that is huge. I like the fact that you incorporated poetry into it, because I think that that's different. Maybe there's another journal with poetry out there, but if there is, I've never seen it or heard of one. That's quite like what you have here.

Fatima: 5:31

It's comprehensive, it's pretty simple, really, and I do believe very strongly in comparing notes, so to speak, on who you were six months ago versus who you are now or whatever timeframe, because you really don't see your growth unless you compare. You really really don't. It's kind of like watching a plant grow. You can see it sprouting out of the ground Okay, you could see that but the rest of the time it's growing, if you stare at it long enough, you won't see the growth. You have to come back in a day or two or a week or a month or whatever the plan is, and you can see the growth, but only if time has lapsed in between.

Fatima: 6:08

And people, we're like that too. We don't notice our own growth most of the time, and I don't know about you, but it's really encouraging to me if I can actually see my growth. I love watching growth in other people and I'm always able to point it out for other people, but I rarely see it in myself. It's hard to be objective about ourselves, so that's why I like that you have it set up the way you do. So, speaking of the poetry piece, why did you decide to?

Kristina: 6:34

add poetry to it. It's written in poetry and the reason why I went to poetry is well, first of all I came up with a poem first and that actually started this whole thing. But the other reason is poetry is like music. The words have a cadence to them or rhythm to them that you can memorize it and you can feel it. And it's there, it's tangible, you can feel it. So the poems are kind of like music. Music is a poem basically with instruments.

Fatima: 7:06

That's true. I think that that's different. Now, I've seen some of the, I've read some of the poems and but I want you to read just a little snippet of one of the poems to the audience so they get an idea of what's in the journal.

Kristina: 7:19

I can read you the whole poem on this one. And the reason why are the poems are very short, they're only a few stanzas. This one is three stanzas, so it's really short. It's called Words we Weave, and this one has particular meaning for me. So Words we Weave, she laughed it off. A casual phrase, a joke, she thought would fade like haze. Yet words take root, they start to bloom and what you speak, your soul consumes. A fleeting sight, a fleeting slight, a thoughtless jest can carve a doubt within the breast. Her mind won't question. If it's true, it holds each word and shapes anew. So let her speak with kindness, art to lift herself, to heal, to start, for every thought. Each word she sows becomes the path on which she goes.

Fatima: 8:11

I like that and I think it's pretty obvious what it's about. What is that one about?

Kristina: 8:15

Our words, that we say to ourselves, whether it's oh, what a jerk I am, something casual like that, everything has a meaning to you. Your brain doesn't know that you're being sarcastic. Your brain doesn't know that you're just joking. Your brain hears every word. It's very literal and you need to use positive words to speak of yourself, because it makes a difference.

Fatima: 8:41

It really does. It's interesting we're talking about this because I have a blog post that I wrote years ago and I just recently started my blog again, so I was actually reading it and it's called Fighting Words. And I was talking one day. I was just casually talking bad about myself. I don't know what comment I made, but it was a negative comment about myself. I wasn't even aware that I was doing it really, and my coworker looked at me, got upset and said don't you be talking about my Fatima like that, I'll fight you.

Fatima: 9:11

And then, a couple of months later, another friend did the same thing, but much worse, much, much, I wouldn't say worse, much harder. We were at some event I think it was her birthday party, and I don't know what I said, some some sort of insult to myself. She got all up in my face and said what did you say about my friend? And I was just laughing because she was acting crazy. And then she just stared, looked at me intensely in my face and wouldn't leave me alone until I took it back. She, she was.

Fatima: 9:37

She looked like she was about to kick my ass, and but what that made me recognize was that I was still in, that, that I was still at that point that I was doing a lot of negative self-talk and I didn't and this was only a few years ago and I didn't even recognize that I you know that I I was still doing that, Like I thought I had grown past that, but it was still a part of my psyche and so I had to make a concerted effort to get out of that and not talk, talk to myself like that, and now I help other people to not do the same, and I love that your journal has a piece about that, because that is one of the number one things. There is no number one thing, but it's one of the top things. That is an issue especially for young women. There's some guys that have the issue too, but especially for young women, where the way we talk to ourselves is so important.

Kristina: 10:27

Absolutely. And if you wouldn't talk to your best friend like that, if you wouldn't say those things to your best friend, then don't say them to yourself. You're absolutely right, good advice.

Kristina: 10:36

I think one of the things that we learn, though, is that if we are mean to ourselves first is that if we are mean to ourselves first, we take away somebody else's power to be mean to us, and so we teach ourselves to talk that way so we don't get hurt so bad, but what we do is we end up hurting ourselves worse than anybody else could ever hurt us.

Fatima: 10:57

Yeah, because words matter. Yeah, Words matter and they're an expression of where your mind already is. Anyway. If you think you're a piece of crap, you're going to talk to yourself like you're a piece of crap. If you think you're worth something, you are going to talk to yourself like you're worth something. It's really, it's an expression of what's already there. But it also helps, and we specifically are targeting teen girls when we're talking about the journal. Why should a young woman want to use it? Why can't she just talk into her phone and save it?

Kristina: 11:33

Because a couple of things. I guess one of the first things that I'm going to say is that talking into your phone is great, but when you write something, that talking into your phone is great, but when you write something, you are committing those words to a piece of paper and you can't just hit a button and take it away. Those words are there for anyone who picks up the piece of paper to see, so it becomes more real to somebody. And the other thing is because this is guided with questions after each thing. There's even some of these even have pictures to draw. Because of that, it makes it easier than just writing words on a page that has just lines on it. So you're being guided to help you find the best way to express yourself.

Fatima: 12:21

Yes, I completely agree with you. Writing something out is not the same thing as recording something digital that you can throw away later, or click and hit delete. Now you could throw a piece of paper away after you write it down, sure, but it's just. It's not the same expression as when you're writing it down, writing it out. Here's something that points that out. I'll take a little bit even more. Sometimes, when we're dealing with hard stuff, it can be hard to come out of our mouths.

Kristina: 12:50

Yes.

Fatima: 12:51

You get this lump in your throat, you can't even say the words, but you might be able to write it down and if you write down the hard thing, it actually makes it easier for you to let it come out of your mouth later or after, or maybe immediately after, depending on the situation. But writing something out that you cannot say, you don't know how to say, it's difficult to come out of your mouth because it runs so deep. Writing it out actually can help you get there and that is one of the tools that actually, when I'm coaching and when I'm doing therapy sessions that I have people do, because sometimes they can't, they don't know how to express it. They just it's just so hard and I, which I get and that's one of the reasons why I like journaling in general, but especially yours, because you have very specific guided questions on journaling that make you think, which is the whole point that make you think, and some of those answers might not be easy to say, but you can write it down.

Fatima: 13:48

And writing stuff down also helps us to straighten out our thoughts, because when we keep everything jumbled up in our head, it's a jungle in there and you've got all these monkeys and elephants running around and Tarzan running around trying to find people. So you got all this stuff going around your head and it's hard sometimes to keep those thoughts straight, and writing them down actually helps to organize them, to really kind of look at them one at a time, and I like that you do that. Can you give them an example of one of the questions that you have?

Kristina: 14:17

Sure, I'll take it from this poem because each section has different questions. So, after you read the poem, the first question is what does the line? Yet words take root, they start to bloom and what you speak, your soul consumes, mean to you. So it's to bring you back into the poem to say, okay, what does this mean to me, how does this affect me, what does your soul consumes mean? And it allows you to ask the questions quietly in your head and then write down your answers to that. The next question is how might being mindful of a fleeting slight, a thoughtless jest, change how you speak to and about yourself?

Fatima: 15:01

So, going back to like the self-deprecating and, you know, casual sort of slights that we give ourselves every day, I like that you asked those questions afterwards and didn't just give them a poem with blank lines, because the questions force. It forces us to look in a mirror, even if we're not physically looking at one. It forces us to look at ourselves and say, well, do I do that? Oh man, I should stop doing that. And those sorts of thoughts they matter. They give that self-examined. So, like I was in the example I was using earlier, my friends that told me they wanted to fight me for talking bad about myself. That's what they did for me. They forced me to look at myself and go oh so you're helping people to do that without their friends trying to fight them. That's nice.

Kristina: 15:47

Yes, that's true, but I go ahead. Well then, what happens with this is you've got these words down on this page, you've answered your questions, you've read your poems. You paperclip this section, all of the poems. You paperclip it together and you save it aside. Now, whether you know it or not, what's happening is these little things start to filter back into your head when you're doing them. So now you might do something and say God, what a jerk I am. And all of a sudden it's going to come back to what things did you say about yourself? What slight did you have? What mean thing did you say? And you can go back into the poem in your brain without ever actually picking the book back up and remember oh, but don't stop talking bad about myself.

Fatima: 16:40

Can I add to that? Sure, I'm going to say for those of you, please do get the journal. I do think if you are interested in actually growing a better, you then get the journal. If you do, here's my suggestion that you add with it, especially after this poem in particular, one day, just one day you can do it on your phone or do it on a piece of paper, whatever works for you Write down every single sentence that you say to yourself, internally or externally, just for 24 hours.

Fatima: 17:10

Write down every thought you have about yourself and everything you said about yourself, even in jest, even joking to your friends I know I'm such a loser. Or you were thinking, damn, nobody likes me because I'm so freaking stupid. Whatever the thought is that you have, or wow, I am so awesome, good or bad write them down and then go back to the journal. You'll begin to see things. Some will be good, some will be bad, but you'll begin to see things. I always tell people documents themselves for 24 hours whenever they're trying to look at something, because we're not even self-aware. You know, just like I wasn't aware of just how negative I was about myself and I understand its root and it was there for a long time, most of my life, and I've worked very hard to actively out uproot it. But you can't uproot what you don't see, and that's what a journal helps with.

Fatima: 17:57

Absolutely To see the things that we can uproot and deal with and make better, because everything we don't deal with is already dealing with us. We can run around and act like the fire's not burning, but when our house burns down, go, oh, I should have put the fire out. And that's what happens when we don't deal with our stuff. So I love that this journal kind of helps us to explore these things in a gentle way. That's not in your face that we have total control over, and it's not just you randomly put words on a page although there's a place for that too. There's absolutely a place for that too, and that's necessary as well. But because sometimes people need that and I even encourage people to do that in certain situations that they just need to express themselves without doing other things.

Fatima: 18:44

But I like that there is an organization to it and the comparison and you really just stuff like that. You don't realize until you compare and it takes time to do that. Now you said that you you recommend that people take about a year to go through this. I know that for most teenagers, a year is like 142,000 years, it's about the same. So can the average teen, like someone who's 14, do this within six months?

Kristina: 19:13

Absolutely, absolutely. There is no strict guideline to say this. This is what I felt like would be the right amount of time for an adult to get through it, but by all means, if you're going to do one a month even you know one section a month you can probably be done in four months. Are you going to see a lot of change? Probably not.

Fatima: 19:36

But every little bit counts, every little bit counts Absolutely.

Kristina: 19:41

But somebody who might be looking to see big changes. You know those people. For the instant gratification, you're not going to see as much change.

Fatima: 19:49

It's there but you won't see as much A year is a much longer time than it is for someone like you and I. I agree, sometimes just seeing a tiny little bit of progress encourages you to keep going, because people get discouraged easily. That's why I'm mentioning that, because I know that you have no strict timeline on it, and I do believe that it can work for them. But no matter what the timeline is, I'm talking to the teenage girls right now is I'm talking to the teenage girls right now, no matter what the timeline is, you're the one that has to keep up with it. You're the one that has to want change and want to be the best you, and not just be the girl that gets by, because if you want that, then this is for you. So, christina, what message do you have for young women around the world right now?

Kristina: 20:39

I would have to say that treating yourself with the respect that you treat others with is probably the biggest thing that you can do to open everything else up around you. You have to have a certain amount of self-respect and respect for the person who you are, the person who you are going to become, in order for that to happen. So I think respect is huge.

Fatima: 21:08

Yes, and even if you don't feel like you deserve it, do what Kristina said just start treating yourself as good as you treat your friends and your family and other people, because I do see that a lot. I see girls who are wonderful to everybody else I used to be that, actually but not so great to ourselves. So I completely agree with that and I think that's strong advice and I think it's a good starting point that anybody can start at. So, Kristina, tell people where they can find you.

Kristina: 21:35

I sell the book actually in my Etsy shop. It's called Beanie's Books and Stuff. I gave you the link, and you're going to put the link up for everybody, correct? Yep, yep, okay, and I do have. I'll send you the other links too. I have it in Amazon. It's in IngramSpark, which is a book publishing company, and Lulu Book, which is also a book publishing company.

Fatima: 22:01

I am running a discount on it in my Etsy shop, though for just you, for just listeners of Mind Shift Power podcast, you can get a special discount. So I will put a link to that discount in the show notes, in the podcast description. It'll also be on my podcast page on the recent episodes the week that this episode airs. So you'll be able to grab that link and get a discount and get this journal if you really want to start your self-improvement journey in a way that's good for you. So thank you so much, christina, for offering that discount to my listeners. Oh, you're welcome, I appreciate it and thank you for coming on.

Kristina: 22:41

Thank you for having me. I really enjoyed this.

Fatima: 22:46

And now for a mind shifting moment.

Fatima: 22:52

I want to take a moment to go back to something we talked about a little earlier in this episode. How you talk to yourself is very, very important to yourself, is very, very important. That inner dialogue, that conversation that happens inside your head. It is affecting every single area of your life. It is building you up or tearing you down. I want you to examine how do you talk to yourself, what thoughts do you say to yourself? What do you believe about yourself in the conversation inside your head? Not just the words that come out your mouth, but the conversation inside your head that you don't let anyone else hear.

Fatima: 23:30

What are you really saying to yourself? It's something I want you to think about. Some of the answers, the real answers, will be good and some will be bad. Work on the bad ones, praise yourself for the good ones. Work on the bad ones. Praise yourself for the good ones, but work on the bad ones. What you believe about yourself is the ultimate driver of the opportunities you do or don't take or make in every single area of life. I want you to think about that. Thank you for listening. Every single area of life. I want you to think about that.