A WISE 17-Year-Old's Guide to a Future You Can't See (Episode 108)

What happens when a teenager who once couldn't see past Tuesday discovers the power to shape her future? In this deeply moving conversation, 17-year-old Meera Shah reveals her remarkable journey from debilitating anxiety and depression to newfound hope and purpose.

Meera candidly shares how perfectionism and academic pressure once consumed her life, leading to severe mental health struggles that left her questioning her worth and future. "I didn't know how to see myself past the next two days," she admits, describing a time when simply waking up each morning felt like an insurmountable battle.

The transformation she's undergone in just one year is nothing short of extraordinary. Through therapy, intentional relationship-building, and radical changes to her self-care practices, Meera has rediscovered joy and possibility. Her decision to make eight hours of sleep "non-negotiable" symbolizes a profound shift in priorities – from achievement at all costs to balanced wellbeing.

What makes this conversation especially valuable is Meera's insights into the challenges facing her generation. She offers a nuanced perspective on how social media functions as both a numbing escape mechanism and a source of unhealthy comparison, while addressing the toxic competitive culture that pushes teens to breaking points. Her advice to peers struggling with similar issues is refreshingly practical: focus on yourself, make certain aspects of self-care non-negotiable, and remember that you don't need to do everything at once.

Perhaps most powerful is Meera's message about determination. As host Fatima Bey emphasizes in the episode's mind-shifting moment: "Once you make the decision that you are not going to stay there... that is when change will happen." This conversation offers hope and actionable wisdom for anyone – teenager or adult – who's ready to make that decision for themselves.

Meera also has a small business. Please click below to check it out.

https://www.instagram.com/meerasprints/

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Meera Shah
• 2:23 Mental Health Struggles and Rock Bottom
• 4:30 The Path to Recovery
• 9:42 From Hopeless to Hopeful Future
• 13:06 Social Media as a Numbing Escape
• 18:08 Advice for Peers and Resources
• 26:41 Mind-Shifting Moment on Determination

Transcript

Fatima Bey: 0:04

This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one critically acclaimed podcast where we have raw, unfiltered conversations that shape tomorrow. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the MindShifter, and welcome everyone. Today we have with us Meera Shah. She is 17. She is out of New Jersey in the USA and she has been on here before, so I brought her back because she has a lot to say that I want the world to hear. So how are you today, meera? I'm doing pretty well. How are you? I'm good, so tell us why you came on the podcast today.

Meera Shah: 0:49

Yeah, so I think I came on the podcast for a couple of reasons.

Meera Shah: 0:53

First is so when I was on the podcast a year ago, last July, I think I was entering kind of a new part of my life when, where I was actually kind of focusing on myself and I know that sounds cliche, but I do think it was it really just did change my entire life.

Meera Shah: 1:08

I started prioritizing my mental health.

Meera Shah: 1:10

I made an effort to change my mental health and the amount of change I've seen in myself in the last year has just been insane and the way I view the world has changed so much.

Meera Shah: 1:21

My perspectives had changed and I think that journey is just something that I really want to be able to share, because I think it shows that there is a lot of hope when it comes to mental health, because I've had so many like I've had a lot of mental health struggles in the past and I feel like I've been able to overcome that. But I also think it's important as a reminder that we need to prioritize mental health right. We're seeing so many people in today's world push themselves just really, really hard or just not see the value in themselves. I feel like there's an increased amount of people who are way too critical about themselves and their achievements and they feel like they have to be a certain way, to check a certain box in order to get ahead. And I just want to bring attention to that and the fact that it's just not true, and I hope that my journey is something that can do that.

Fatima Bey: 2:11

So you said you've had some mental health struggles in the past. To give the audience an idea of the history and how far you've come, tell us about some of those struggles.

Meera Shah: 2:23

Yeah. So I guess the short version is that I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety. I think. So right now I'll be going into my senior year of high school, so I think I've had anxiety for a really long time.

Meera Shah: 2:37

It's been kind of a part of me since I think it kind of got bad in like fifth and sixth grade, got worse over the pandemic where I was just very highly critical of what I did and very anxious about kind of every single action that I took, to the point where I just couldn't function in a normal way.

Meera Shah: 2:55

I would spend, you know, 10 hours on school assignments that should probably spend 30, because I was just so obsessed with making it perfect and I guess it sounds like a small example, but those were like the ideologies and almost the compulsions that kind of took over my entire life the need to be perfect in every single thing that I did.

Meera Shah: 3:15

And when I was, I think, in seventh and eighth grade, I started developing symptoms of kind of severe depression and that put me in a very negative spot in terms of the way I viewed myself, my self-worth, the way I viewed what I meant in this world and whether I was meant to be here in the first place and all those questions just kept piling up in my head and I was in just honestly the worst state that I've been in.

Meera Shah: 3:41

And it kind of got even worse as I headed into high school because I felt the pressure of everyone been in. And it kind of got even worse as I headed into high school because I felt the pressure of everyone coming in. I just felt this increased pressure to be perfect and everything. So I think when I was my sophomore year of high school I kind of hit rock bottom. I didn't really know where to go. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I started therapy because I just I didn't know what I was doing, but I was still unsure of where to go and who to share, and that was kind of where I was at last year, I think.

Fatima Bey: 4:13

A lot of what you just said represents a whole lot of your generation. There's a lot of people in the world, but especially in the US, who can identify with 95% of what you just said. So that's where you were last year. So what's happened over the past year for you?

Meera Shah: 4:37

Yeah. So I think the biggest thing is that I've been in therapy. So I was in therapy in ninth grade and I stopped for a while because I wasn't very ready to change. And I think that sounds kind of cynical and like, okay, who wants to? It was. I was in a hard position, like I didn't know how to change. But I think when the end of 10th grade hit and I found myself again in therapy I was meeting frequently and I didn't really know where to go. That was when I hit a point where I was just like I need things to change. I didn't know where I was going to go. I had been in a point where I didn't want to be like here anymore and that was a point where I realized that like I need to do something, like I want to change the way my life is going right now and I want to be able to move forward. And I think that was just a turning point in my mind towards the end of 10th grade and that's when I kind of therapy just really started working with for me.

Meera Shah: 5:39

It took a while, it took time for me to, for example, you know, to figure out how to combat a lot of the negative thoughts in my head. I um. It was a long process, but I think throughout it and I guess where it brought me to today is a place where I'm a lot more focused on myself, I can find a lot more joy in everyday things. I don't feel guilty about going to the beach and having some fun, whereas I think last year I would have been in a spot where I would have hated myself for even thinking about wanting to have fun because I was so focused on the work that I had done. And now I've found places to prioritize myself.

Meera Shah: 6:15

I think another example is probably my sleep schedule. I used to get like four hours of sleep. I didn't feel valuable unless I worked every single second of the day and you know, cutting back on sleep was a way I figured that out. Now, eight hours of sleep is non-negotiable. I am asleep by 10 pm and I guess these are small examples, but when those examples kind of build up into being your way of life, you kind of feel a completely different person. I've learned how to create stronger relationships with my peers, my parents and it's overall put me in a much better spot where I just think I'm happier.

Fatima Bey: 6:56

There's a lot you just said. Now I want to know you went to therapy. What else has worked for you, because it sounds like you've gone through a massive amount of changes. So explain to us how those changes happened, because therapy is a part of it. But what has therapy done for you? What else have you done outside of just the sessions?

Meera Shah: 7:18

Yeah. So I think one of the things to acknowledge first about therapy is that therapy is a place where you talk and you come up with strategies. You have to implement those strategies in your everyday life. So I would learn a strategy and this took honestly, this was the hardest thing. It took me a couple months, but when I had like negative thoughts in my mind and I started to spiral and I just couldn't move and I was stuck in this frozen state, what do I do? How do I combat those thoughts? How do I debate them away? Those were things that I learned and I started to implement. When I felt myself spiraling, I would try to combat that.

Meera Shah: 7:54

The second thing I think I did was forming stronger relationships with people around me, and I know it's not something that's possible for everyone, so I feel extremely lucky and fortunate to be able to do that. But I put more effort into, I think, building a stronger relationship with my mom, being more open, being more willing to share and having that person for you, whether somewhere to go and someone to rely on and somewhere where you feel comfortable, and I think that is just so, so much more powerful. The third thing that I did was, I guess a little bit less. You know what did I do, but I did take some medication. I was on medication for, I'd say, like 10 months and that did help create a difference. But I don't think it would have worked without the other things in my life.

Fatima Bey: 8:49

So it's not just one thing by itself that worked. You didn't just go to the therapist and they press a magical button and you're all better now. You had to do your part. Yeah, I mean, I know, the first time I went to therapy.

Meera Shah: 9:00

I was in ninth grade because I was struggling with things like self-harm and I just didn't know. The first time I went to therapy, I was in ninth grade, because I was struggling with things like self-harm and I just didn't know where to go. So I started therapy and I expected it to be that way. I kind of was just like just change something. I don't want it, Like I want it to go away, and it was like you have to and it's the hardest part, I think, figuring out how to take those things and put them in your own life. But that is the step that just it has to be taken.

Fatima Bey: 9:29

Okay, so let me let's go back to a year ago. How did you see your future? If you go back to the mirror a year ago, how did she see her future?

Meera Shah: 9:39

I don't even know. Like there were points where I was just like, do I even see a future at all? Like, do I? Can I imagine myself in the next week? I think that was just hard for me to do. Um, I remember people would ask me like, oh, what do you want to be when you grow up? Or like, where do you see yourself? I'm like I can't even I don't know how to see myself past the next two days. Like I'm just trying to like surviving was just that was the everyday battle, like waking up in the morning. And I think that was the everyday battle, like waking up in the morning, and I think that was the hardest part of every day.

Meera Shah: 10:07

I had passions. I had things I wanted to do. I wanted to create a change in the world. I wanted to work in international law. I didn't know if it was possible or if I would ever get there. I also had such a low view of myself that I was just like, well, I'm not going to go anywhere, I'm just a stupid person, like I'm not gonna be able to do anything, and I think all those things contributed to me just being like I don't know what future is there so would the word hopeless be accurate?

Fatima Bey: 10:36

for how? You felt a year ago. Okay, yeah, and how do you see your future now?

Meera Shah: 10:42

I'm a lot more excited. Like you know, I'm in that time of the year where it's like, oh, you have to start your college applications and it's like that's stressful. But also I'm so excited, like I am so hyped, to be able to, you know, go out into college and be able to follow my passions and actually be able to do something that could create a change. Create a change because I want to be able to, like my dream is to like be able to go to college and then use that to really impact the world and make the world a better place. I want to go into the foreign service and work in international law, and I see myself being able to directly impact people. And I see myself being able to do what I've dreamed about for a really long time and it's, I'd say, hopeful.

Fatima Bey: 11:26

So what do you want to do in international law?

Meera Shah: 11:29

I want to work in conflict resolution and human rights during wartime. Why, why, why, I don't know. I feel like there's a lot of things For me. It's just felt like I just want to do it. It's always hard to kind of explain. I want to be able to help people. I've learned these stories and I want to be able to do something about it.

Meera Shah: 11:51

When I was before ninth grade, I took a class in international humanitarian law, which I think was the first time I learned about human rights atrocities in the world. And it was the first time I learned about human rights atrocities in the world. And it was the first time I learned about the things we do in the name of efficiency and cost-benefit analysis and the horrible decisions that are taking during wartime. And then, you know, considering our whole political situation like that just became something that I was like. I see myself being able to make a difference in this and it is something that I really care about and something I want to be able to combine my interest for with this obligation. I have to create change and help others, and I've just always felt like this field is the place I can do that.

Fatima Bey: 12:34

I think that that's awesome, and I hear the difference from a year ago. A year ago, you couldn't see past Tuesday. Now you know what you want to do for your career. You're excited about the future. That is such a beautiful, beautiful thing and I'm glad that you've arrived at that. So let's talk about the mental health of your peers in a general sense. Where do you see your peers right now with mental health?

Meera Shah: 13:06

Yeah, so I think this is something we actually talked about last year and, honestly, a lot of my perspectives have stayed the same, because I do think that especially the community I live in tends to be very toxic in terms of competition and pressure to be a certain way and get to a certain point, and I just see that pressure becoming this like overwhelming burden on students that is just harder and harder to carry because, you know, now it's like college applications aren't no simple thing anymore. Now it's, you know, apply to 20 schools and make sure you have the resume where you're president of this club and achieved like third in the nation in this activity, while also being captain of this sports activity, and it's like you need to do it. And there's just this overwhelming feeling that you have to do it all. And I think part of that might have been me when I was where I was last year, where I was honestly feeding into that culture. But I still see that culture existing right now and I see that culture becoming something that students are struggling to cope with, perceived Like I had a conversation with someone.

Meera Shah: 14:17

It was just like, oh, can we make sure we don't? We make sure this doesn't go anywhere else, like the fact that like therapy was an option was like you know, therapy is hidden away, like don't tell people you go to therapy, and it's like why it's just creating this horrible atmosphere with mental health. But at the same time, I do see hope, I do see people changing. I do see kids, especially in today's world, taking a lot more initiative and being like oh well, this is not right and we need to do something about it, and I do think that's a powerful thing that can create a lot of change.

Fatima Bey: 14:50

Yes, mental health for your generation is far worse than any of the previous generations for a lot of reasons, but you're growing up in a different world and I completely agree with you that a lot of your peers are in trouble and sometimes having undue mental health crisis because of the pressures that our society is putting under them. Do you find that adults talk about this all the time? But let's hear from a 17-year-old how do you feel about social media?

Meera Shah: 15:24

Social media. Okay, I think it's complicated. I think, on one hand, yeah, I see the positives of social media, but there were a couple things I find very negative about social media. So one of the things I used to do was I used social media a lot as a coping mechanism to hide away from what was going on. Because the great thing about social media is that it can numb you. Right, you're scrolling on TikTok or Instagram or whatever platform you use, and once you start scrolling, you kind of become numbed from the world and you don't really feel anything. You're just locked into that little dopamine burst. And that can be really comforting sometimes, because it can make you feel like everything's gone away. But it's also extremely unhealthy because you are avoiding your emotions and you are avoiding what's going on, and it can just teach us that when we feel something negative, to hide away from it rather than openly and actively try to do something about it.

Meera Shah: 16:20

Now I think that sometimes you need to numb yourself. Yes, sometimes there's necessities and sometimes it's life-saving, but I think those cases are extremely minimal and I think, for the most part, social media allows us a place to hide. Now there's also the other aspect of it which I think is talked about more frequently with body image and societal standards and comparing yourself to others and honestly, I see that a lot in terms of, like, academic achievements, where you see like, oh my God, this person got into this program and they got into this college and they're doing this and this and this and it becomes very overwhelming. No-transcript.

Fatima Bey: 17:34

I'm going to talk to the audience right now. You hear that adults here's some wisdom from a 17-year-old, because there's adults doing that right now too it's not just teens who are hiding behind, and I like that perspective, because other things that are true, but that is absolutely true too. It becomes a pacifier for, you know, avoiding the real problems that we actually have. But I also think you know the saying we say a lot. You know we could keep comparing ourselves to other people's highlight reels. That comparison of it's just nonsense. You know it was like oh, look at how perfect I am, and then the camera goes off and you're in a dumpster, shut up. You know it's not real. So what do you?

Meera Shah: 18:15

have to say to your peers who are listening right now. I think, okay, I think the main thing is to focus on yourself and realize that you don't need to do everything at once and that we're all here living our lives, and if you live your life like I think, you're going to be able to get somewhere. I think hard work is important. I think doing what your passion is about is important. You probably should not just spend your time just sitting back and watching TV all the time, but that doesn't mean you have to go to the other extreme, which is constantly working, never stopping, always trying to be the top of your class, because there are like even if you are not at the very, very top, you are still going to be able to go somewhere. You are still going to be able to do great things, find yourself in a great place and, most of all, you'll be so much happier. You can find yourself in a place where you're doing what you care about.

Meera Shah: 19:11

Why force yourself to do something you don't care about? If constantly studying, if you know being the best at science, is your thing, do it. But if it's not, then why are you putting 10 hours a week into trying to be the top person Like. Is that something you really like? Probably not, so I guess. The big, I guess the more specific, less rambly version is put yourself first. Make certain things that are non-negotiable. Get eight hours of sleep, make sure you're eating three meals a day, make sure you have things in your life that you like and make sure you're doing things that you actually enjoy without feeling guilty about it. But then make sure you do work hard. Just don't go to the extreme.

Fatima Bey: 19:57

I completely agree with you those extremities are. They're what kill us, and they don't kill us physically, they kill us mentally. Let me ask you this I'm a 16 year old boy named Roy in Alabama and I know I'm having mental health struggles. I don't know what they are, I don't know how to recognize them and I don't know what to do about them. But I also don't have supportive family around me and I'm poor and I can't really afford therapy on my own yeah, I think it's definitely hard.

Meera Shah: 20:28

I think that there are a lot of things. Well, I guess there's two parts of this that I would focus on. First is, I think, what my mom has told me, because she's a teacher and she's worked with a lot of kids in different situations, kids who have come to her who don't have support and don't know where they're going to be. One of the things that she told me that I thought was really powerful is that you might not have something or someone waiting for you now, but you have two years and you might be able to. You know, it might not be the best college in the world, but you can go off to college and you have control of your life and you can make that something powerful At that point. You have so many places you can be, you have so many decisions you can be, you have so many decisions you can make, and I think there's just such a power in being able to look at the fact that in the future, there is a lot of places that you can go and a lot more control that you will have that I can can help you get out of really harmful situations, for example, if you're dealing with something at home that's just constantly negative. Well, when you go to college, I think there is a part of yourself that you can be able to reclaim. But I guess that's like a very like hopeful kind of very idealistic standpoint, I think, in terms of what you can do right now, I think the internet can be helpful. You have to find yourself on the right place of it. There are a lot of mental health resources that are online. I know the Trevor Project recently got taken down, which I'm upset about, but that's another story but there are, for example, the 988 website.

Meera Shah: 22:03

I think there's resources that can help you get through a tough time, that can help you chat to someone, even if you don't have the money to afford it, and I do think these are powerful resources. They may not be perfect, they might not be the most amazing things, but I think you can find places where you can talk to someone and just be open about your struggles. But I think the next thing that's really powerful is find people who have had stories like you. I think it's extremely comforting to be able to find someone who has a similar journey and has been on the same path, and being able to just know that they got somewhere.

Meera Shah: 22:38

Like that, I think, is just it's inspirational and it's powerful and it's helpful. And then, lastly, I think sometimes they're just beautiful people who come across. I've had teachers who have been the most positive influence in my life, and if you can find someone like that, don't be scared to be honest about what's going on, because at that point they can be someone who can really help you. So, yeah, I think it's hard, there's a lot of obstacles, but knowing that you have a future, that you have time ahead of you, that you have a place where you might be able to get away from the harmful things that are in your life, that can be helpful.

Fatima Bey: 23:37

You gave really several different responses, and my number one thought was online.

Meera Shah: 23:41

There's so many online communities that are willing to help. You don't have to have somebody near you anymore. You do need to be careful, because I've found myself in communities online that tend to reinforce negative thinking. Good point. Good point it's yeah, you know, don't go on Reddit or Discord type thing. You know you want to find more websites. There are a lot of forums, I think, online that were places you can share and people will be willing to help.

Fatima Bey: 24:04

Actually, mira, you didn't know this, but I created an online forum on my website specifically because a lot of these other places are toxic, and so I just want to create a place that didn't rely on algorithms, didn't allow toxic people to act stupid, and just have real, supportive conversations. So, for those of you listening, if you go to my communities page on my website, I actually have a page there called Next Gen, and it's specifically for youth. Youth who want to have real conversations about real issues, without all of the politically correct BS and without all the you know, you can't say this, you can't say that they can just say what they want and be honest and real and have conversations and support each other. That's it. So there, say that they can just say what they want and be honest and real and have conversations and support each other. That's it. So there's that. There are other online communities, but I do like that.

Fatima Bey: 24:58

You brought out that point, mira, that you do have to be careful. Telling people to go online is good, but it can be bad if you go to the wrong place and you don't know how to recognize the wrong place. So if people are reinforcing negative thoughts, then it's time to bounce. Well, mira, I absolutely adore you and I thank you for coming on. And you are, you really are a true leader, and whether you recognize just how much of a leader you are or not I don't know, but you really are a true leader and I think more adults need to listen to you because you have a lot of wisdom for a 17-year-old and there are adults who really need to listen and apply a lot of what you just said like a lot.

Fatima Bey: 25:42

So there's some of the issues that you're talking about. They're not just teenage issues, they're human issues. So you know, there are some people in their 30s who really need to implement therapy, who need to try, and I love the fact that you pointed out you didn't know what to do or where to go or how to fix it. You just knew you wanted to, so you figured it out and you have and anyone listening if you have a problem you're trying to solve, you have to take that same stance. I don't know the answer. I don't know what the problem is, I just know I want to figure it out. You will eventually find the answer because you'll seek it out and it will work out, but only if you don't give up, you agree? Yeah, well, mira, thank you once again for coming on. I absolutely love talking to you and I hope that you have a really excellent school year this year.

Meera Shah: 26:34

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this and honestly like this podcast, the stories it shares, your website, the resources it has, and Thank you. And now for a mind-shifting moment.

Fatima Bey: 26:55

Mira said a lot in today's episode, but I want to focus on one part that she talked about. She was absolutely determined. She got to a point where she was absolutely determined that she was not going to stay where she was mentally. She didn't know the answer, she didn't know what the problem was or how to find it, but she was determined that she wasn't going to stay there. And now she's not there anymore and she's growing, which is absolutely beautiful.

Fatima Bey: 27:29

But my question to you is are you determined? Are you determined that you're not going to stay in that bad relationship? Are you determined that you're going to have better mental health? Are you determined that you're going to find a way to be confident? Are you determined that you're going to get out of the hole that you're in? Are you determined? Are you determined that you're going to get out of the hole that you're in? Are you determined? Because once you make the decision that you are not going to stay there, I have to get out, I have to reach victory. Once you make that decision, that is when change will happen, because you'll make sure it happens. So are you determined? Join our global movement. Find us at FatimaBaycom. Until next time. Always remember there's power in shifting your thinking.