Fear Showed Up as Silence Before It Showed Up as Failure (Episode 125)

What if fear isn’t failure—it’s silence before the first word comes out? We sit down with 13-year-old TEDx speaker Tanoushri Shriram to explore how tiny, consistent risks can transform a quiet voice into a confident one, even in a world where judgment feels nonstop.

Tanoushri shares the moment a mentor nudged her to the front of a room without warning, and how that single push rewired her idea of readiness. We unpack the line she delivered on stage—“fear showed up as silence before it showed up as failure”—and turn it into a practical toolkit for real life: start with micro-actions, borrow courage from mentors, and treat setbacks like reps in the gym. From raising a hand after getting laughed at to planning a NAMI workshop that supports mental health, her story shows how action creates proof, and proof creates belief.

We also address the modern pressure cooker: social media’s constant scrutiny and the way viral opinions seep into classrooms and daily choices. Together, we separate helpful feedback from noise, and show how to convert criticism into a practice plan. Self-talk takes center stage too—short, specific phrases that calm spirals and move you to speak, ask, and lead. Along the way, we reflect on the power of allies like Jackie Bailey, whose mentorship opened doors and reframed risk as learnable.

If you’ve been waiting to feel brave before you begin, this conversation offers a different path: move first, let readiness follow. You’ll leave with strategies to test courage safely, protect your focus from unhelpful opinions, and build skills that compound over time. If a 13-year-old can turn silence into a stage, what might your next small step unlock?

Enjoyed the conversation? Follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a quick review—what tiny risk will you take this week?

Want to see Tanushri's TEDx Talk? Visit:

https://www.fatimabey.com/125

Transcript

Fatima Bey 0:02

MindShift Power Podcast. This is Mind Shift Power Podcast, the number one critically acclaimed podcast where we have raw, unfiltered conversations that shape tomorrow. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the Mind Shifter. And welcome everyone. Today we have with us Tanushri Sriram. And she is out of the USA. She's 13 years old. She and she was recently a TEDx speaker. And this young woman has some life wisdom to share. How are you doing today, Tanoushri?

Tanushri Sriram 0:39

I'm doing great. How about you?

Mentorship With Jackie Bailey

Fatima Bey 0:40

I'm good. I'm really excited to talk to you because you have a lot to say. So I like to dive right into it. So let's start off with how we met. You've been mentored by Jackie Bailey for about a year. And for the audience, just to take a little side note here, Jackie Bailey and her husband Todd, they help mentor uh young uh teenagers and young adults into learning how to be a TEDx speaker, uh, learning how to be a great speaker. And so she they do help people get on TEDx stages, which is not an easy task. So it's pretty awesome that they do what they do. So that's who I'm talking about. Now, back to the question. What's one moment in that mentorship where you pushed out where you were pushed outside your comfort zone in a way that really mattered?

Tanushri Sriram 1:28

Well, when I was about two months in when I was about two months with Jackie Bailey, I went to a conference called FBLA, and she had a workshop there where she was kind of giving a speech to a bunch of students, and they were learning, they were learning about what she did, and there were three other people with me, and they were also her students, and she met and she made each one of us come to the front and say a little bit about ourselves. And I remember I didn't expect it at all. I was so scared, but she really pushed me and she really gave me a lot of confidence, even though what I said it wasn't the best since I had no idea what I was doing, but it really did give me some confidence.

Small Steps Outside Comfort Zones

Fatima Bey 2:11

Oh, that's awesome. So that was your first push out of your comfort zone, was just meeting Jackie. That's that's awesome. Um, and I that's just awesome. A lot of people talk about get out of your comfort zone in theory, but what does that actually look like in your day-to-day life as a student right now?

Tanushri Sriram 2:30

Well, what that looks like in my day-to-day life is doing small things that you wouldn't normally do. Like, for example, raising your hand when the teacher asks a hard question just to just to try, even if you don't know the answer, just to try and maybe see if you're correct, or maybe going first through a presentation, not doing something really big like, oh, I'm gonna go and climb Mount Everest right now without any with your clothes. It's just doing small things that you wouldn't normally do.

Fatima Bey 3:00

What that's not realistic? Are you telling me that's not realistic?

Tanushri Sriram 3:04

Well, I mean, I don't think it's the most realistic, but maybe it is. Maybe for some people it is.

Fear As Silence Before Failure

Fatima Bey 3:09

It is in the future, but not in the moment. You're absolutely right. Trying to take big giant leaps. I'm gonna I'm gonna rephrase that a little bit for some people. Trying to take big giant leaps is why is what causes people to fail or think they can't do it. What you're saying is take those little steps, those tiny little things you can do daily, right? Yeah, yeah, I completely agree. In your TEDx talk, fear showed up as silence before it showed up as failure. I'm gonna repeat that phrase because it's deep. In your TEDx talk, fear showed up as silence before it showed up as failure. What does that mean?

Tanushri Sriram 3:46

Well, it kind of well, going back to the story of where I was very scared to raise my hand because I would I thought that I would be judged. Um, what h I would thought I would be judged that one time when I actually did end up raising my hand, I did actually end up getting a lot of judgment from one of my peers. And because of this, I started to stay very quiet. And because I started to stay very quiet, a lot of people they kind of misunderstood me and they said, Oh, she's very quiet, she must not have a lot to say. And to this, to me, this kind of meant like, oh, like I'm a I'm a failure. People think I don't have a lot to say, people think I'm dumb, people think I'm stupid, but in reality, I was just way too scared to actually speak out.

Fatima Bey 4:32

Mmm, interesting. I think that I that wow, that's very deep. Like I said before, that's very deep. And I wonder how many adults are listening and are still there.

Tanushri Sriram 4:43

Yeah.

Fatima Bey 4:44

I don't think that's unique to your age, honestly. Fear does show up in silence, and then it looks like failure.

Tanushri Sriram 4:52

Yeah.

Fatima Bey 4:52

That's very deep. So something else. You said that you learned that growth doesn't wait until you feel ready. How do you decide when discomfort is helping you grow versus when it's just anxiety trying to stop you?

Tanushri Sriram 5:05

I decide, well, for me, when it's just discomfort that's kind of that's trying to help me grow. I think about whether this is kind of happening to me a lot. So going back to my story of how I was very, very, very scared to just raise my hand in general and answer. This was happening to me a lot, and like it was just happening to me more and more and more, and I was kind of thinking, like, maybe, maybe I should just try it. And maybe like and this was after um this was after the time when someone laughed at me and made fun of me because I got the answer wrong and I got embarrassed and I started saying silent. This was a bit after. And because I was so silent, I would never raise my hand. And opportunities where my teacher would call on me, or the teacher would say, Hey, re who's gonna raise their hand, who's gonna answer the question? It would happen more and more, and then I was like, Maybe, maybe fate is trying to tell me something. Maybe fate is saying, Hey, you can do it, like you can do it. It's gonna be uncomfortable, but you can do it. I think, yeah, I think that's how I kind of decided, like when discomfort is just trying to help me grow when something keeps happening over and over again.

Fatima Bey 6:16

Hmm. That's an interesting way to look at it.

Tanushri Sriram 6:19

Thank you.

Fatima Bey 6:20

So having a mentor can change how safe it feels to try new things. Cause you you know, because you got somebody there. How has mentorship changed the way you take risks compared to before?

How Mentors Change Risk-Taking

Tanushri Sriram 6:32

Well, my mentor, Miss Jackie Bailey, she really helps me a lot by giving me like a lot of opportunities and she really encourages me. And she says like a lot of words to me, like you can do it. And her encouragement, it got me to that TEDx stage, which is something I never thought I could do. And because of that, because of her words, like they lead they leaded me to that TEDx stage because of that. I lead think to myself, like, I didn't think I could get on that TEDx stage, but I did. I was able to do that. So why why would that stop me from doing anything else? That's the way like I think about it.

New Goals And NAMI Workshop

Fatima Bey 7:07

Oh, side note audience, by the way, this girl, I told you in the beginning she's 13. She just turned 13. When she was on a TEDx stage, she was 12. 12 years old on a TEDx stage. I just want to say that. Because I think that's pretty amazing. Um, yeah, having a mentor is a really big deal. And unfortunately, not everybody has that. But if you have that, you got somebody who's a mentor by title or by position, because mean position meaning they do it anyway, regardless of whether they have a title or not. Take that in, man, because uh not everybody has that. I'm glad you did, though. And I'm glad you had someone who actually um something I know about Jackie that one of the reasons she and I get along so well is we both have similar passions for youth. We absolutely love you guys, and so she loves to see you guys rise, and so do I. And you want if you have somebody, audience, if you have somebody around you who genuinely cares and wants to see you rise, take advantage of that because it's it's more rare than it should be. So, oh tell me, uh, Tunisri, what's something you've done this past year that your old self would have avoided completely?

Tanushri Sriram 8:17

Well, something new that I'm well not I haven't really done it, but I'm going to do is I'm going to work, well, not work, but I'm gonna be at a NAMI work at a NAMI event, or we're gonna try and odd like try and apply for a NAMI event. And NAMI, it means National Alliance of Mental Illness. And what we're gonna do is we're gonna apply and we're gonna try and have a workshop there. And I'm actually very excited to that do that because it means that I might get to do a quick little speech, or I can really help others like give those little speeches. And even though it might not seem like that big of a deal, since it's not like I'm gonna give the biggest speech ever, I wouldn't have done that a couple of months ago. I would have said, oh, absolutely not. I have nothing to say. I can't help anyone. I would that's what I would have thought of a couple of months ago. And now I'm like, no, no, I think I could do it. I could do it.

Kids, Judgment, And Social Media

Fatima Bey 9:17

Oh, you're gonna make me cry. Um I oh my god, I love that. I love, love, love, love that. That you're so excited about helping other people and doing more because you now have the confidence to do that and you had people around you to push you to that. Man, that's what it's all about. That is so freaking awesome. I love, love, love that.

Tanushri Sriram 9:37

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Fatima Bey 9:40

Oh so let me ask you this, because here's where we can hear your wisdom as well. Adults often assume that confidence comes with age. It's hard for me to say that with without laughing. So adults assume that often. What do you think that kids understand about fear and courage that adults sometimes forget?

Tanushri Sriram 10:01

Well, I think one thing that we like kids understand about fear and courage is a lot of times we get judged for we get judged a lot, like by other peers, and sometimes even by adults or like teachers. We get judged a lot. So it's very hard to actually step up and have that courage. And it also makes you like a a lot like very scared to try new things, even like things that are so simple, like um trying a new hobby or dressing a certain way, because we get judged so much. And I feel like that's a thing a lot of people don't really understand about about it.

Fatima Bey 10:39

I I think I know what you mean. So, where's this judgment coming from? Because I keep hearing you talk about judgment. Is this judgment online through text messages, on social media, in the classroom, uh people talking about people on YouTube videos saying things that described you? What do you mean by being judged?

Recovering After Public Missteps

Tanushri Sriram 10:59

Well, yeah, I would say all of those. Because um, we grew up like we grew up where there's a lot of technology and there's social media, and on all these social media platforms, people are saying, obviously, I mean they're allowed to say this stuff, but they say a lot of things like, oh, if you dress this way, like that's not good, like that's ugly. And a lot of these people, they have a lot, they're very big platforms and they're very popular, and they're kind of targeted towards people our age, and people look at those videos and they think, like, oh, like if I dress like this, I'm I'm gonna be ugly, I'm not gonna be cool, and and I'm not gonna be like that because this person with a huge platform, they they just said that people who dress like this, they're not they're not cool, they're ugly. I feel like that's where it comes from a lot, and that also spreads to the classrooms where other people start thinking like that and will judge someone for dressing that certain way or trying a new hobby.

Start While Scared And Self-Talk

Fatima Bey 11:55

You're absolutely right. I wanna um I wanna interject right here for the adults listening. I say this all the time that our our youth are growing up in a different world than we did. They have troubles and pressures that we never had. She just gave a prime example of one. They all of us as human beings have at some time or another felt judged, felt peer pressure. That's just a normal human thing. But none of us, except for this generation, have experienced it at the level that they experience it. Every freaking tiny little thing is examined and talked about for a 30-minute video on a platform somewhere. They'll talk about the way your booger looks for 30 minutes on a platform somewhere. We didn't have to grow up with that ridiculousness. They're growing up with that. And so when Tanishri is saying that fear, overcoming fear, it is different for them. You you just heard her. It's very different for them because it's bigger. We had to overcome monsters, but our monsters might have been five feet. Their monsters are 20 feet because of the technology that we're connected to. It's not a minor detail. Uh, all right, I had to say that. For for not so much for the people your age who already know this, but for the adults who don't get it. Um, when something doesn't go well after you step outside of your comfort zone, because that can happen, how do you find how do you keep yourself from retreating back into silence again?

Tanushri Sriram 13:31

Well, what I do is I kind of like reevaluate what just happened. Like I think about, hmm, why did this go wrong? And if it did go wrong, like is it really permanent? Is it really harmful? Should I keep going in the direction I am going, or should I just take a step back and try to and try to rethink like what's going on? That's what I do, and I think an example of that is when I said the first time I actually raised my hand to answer that question in class and someone laughed at me. That was a time when I I went out of my comfort zone, I failed, and then I immediately stepped back. And I had an example where this happened to me again recently, kind of last year in sixth grade math class. I answered a question wrong and someone laughed, but at that time I didn't really I didn't just stop answering questions. I just thought to myself and I said, Well, does their opinion really matter? Like, does it does it really matter? Or like can I go without it? And I was like, hmm, like what should I do? And I was just thinking, and I was like, Well, it's fine. I can just keep going. I can maybe try like to wait a little bit and see if I actually solved the problem right, and then maybe raise my hand. But I don't need to stop answering questions because someone laughed.

Opinions, Practice, And Potential

Fatima Bey 14:50

Girl, what you just said, there are 50 years olds who still haven't learned that lesson. They have stopped living their life, they have stopped going after their dreams and visions, they have stopped doing what they want to do because somebody laughed, because somebody made a comment, because someone made fun of it. And you just gave some I I uh what you just said is amazing and it's deep. Um, because what you're saying is you have to look back and say, do their opinion really matter? I'm just rewording what you just said. Does it really matter that they don't approve and they don't like it? So what? And when you take on that attitude, it gives you the freedom to move, agreed?

Tanushri Sriram 15:33

Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Fatima Bey 15:34

Let me ask you this. If another young person wants to grow, but they feel stuck because they're waiting to feel braver, what's one small action that you think actually works uh better than just waiting?

Tanushri Sriram 15:48

Well, well, first I would say you should do it even when you're scared because growth, it's not gonna wait until you're comfortable. It's just gonna like it's a it's like an opportunity. Either you take it or you leave it. It's not like, oh, you wait around for like two days and then you do it. And what I would say is, like, again, I would say really start small. You don't need to do something big like climb Mount Everest in like a day, obviously. But just start with something small. Like something small that you really struggle with that it's not like super big, but it's something that it's like obviously it's probably gonna be uncomfortable, but it's something that it can be achieved. You just you just have to try. You just have to like really push yourself. You have to be like, it's okay, it's okay. I can do it.

Fatima Bey 16:33

Do you find do you find yourself giving yourself little self-pep talks like what you just described?

Tanushri Sriram 16:38

Yeah, I do it all the time, actually. I did one before I came on this podcast. I was like, don't overthink it, don't overthink it. It's just a podcast. Don't overthink it.

Fatima Bey 16:48

Well, you're doing really well. When did you start doing the self-talk?

Tanushri Sriram 16:52

Well, I started doing this self-talk actually around the time when I was, I think, it was around the time when I just started um being with like have getting mentor sessions with Miss Jackie Bailey, and like the time when I was like just about to give my TEDx talk, that was when I really started doing this, and I was like, wow, this actually really helps. This actually really helps.

Fatima Bey 17:16

It it it really does, and it's something that I actually teach people to do. But I teach people to do it in various ways depending on their personality and their lifestyle, because everybody's not the same, but that self-talk is something that I teach constantly, and I love hearing it coming from a 13-year-old. Um it it yeah, that self-talk is absolutely everything, and sometimes it feels weird at first. Did it feel weird when you first started doing it?

Tanushri Sriram 17:41

It did. It was like, why am I talking to myself? But then I was like, no, I know myself best though. So it makes sense.

Closing Reflections And Host Monologue

Fatima Bey 17:49

Absolutely. And when we start doing self-talk, it after it feels weird at first, always, but after a while, it starts to feel normal and it starts to actually work. And this is what it's something I constantly tell people. So I love hearing you say that because as a coach, and even on my podcast, I've talked about self-talk and how important it is. And you just demonstrated uh quite a few times about how you're just like, no, wait a minute, I could do this. And you just that pushes you to try, and then that effort pushes you to succeed. And I I just love uh I love the depth of what you're saying because uh a lot of what you're saying is actually pretty deep wisdom that there that a lot of adults still haven't mastered. And um, so it just beautiful. So let me ask you this what advice do you have for your peers in the world today?

Tanushri Sriram 18:39

Well, some advice I have is well, I have two pieces, like two very, very important pieces. One, other people's opinions, they don't really matter. Now, obviously, if you say, I'm gonna jump off the Eiffel Tower and I'm not gonna have any protective gear, maybe you should probably listen to people who are saying don't do it. But if it's something like, oh, I want to go and sing the talent show, and someone says, No, you're really bad at singing, why are you listening to them? Because you can get better at singing. Does their opinion really matter? And maybe your singing isn't bad, they just don't like it. So why does their opinion matter? And another thing is just do it. Like if you're getting the feeling like, hmm, like I really want to do this, for example, I really want to sing on that talent show, then do it. Yes, it's gonna take a lot of like your time after school to practice your singing, know what you're gonna sing, but you should just do it because you're passionate about it, and it's something you really want to do.

Fatima Bey 19:34

I love what you said because that's I I believe in that so strongly. Everybody's opinion does not matter. It really doesn't. And I I want to point out one key thing you said, and I want to kind of piggyback on it because I think it's so important. Um, you said, even if you don't sing well now, you can I forgot how you worded it just now, but I'm gonna re-word it. You can take some lessons and get good. So even if somebody's like, they look at you and they're like, you can't do that because they're only seeing what's in front of you and they're not seeing potential. They're only seeing what's in front of you, they're only seeing that you crack your voice sometime, you don't know how to riff. You see, you sound like you're screaming when you go up too high, another octave or whatever. All of that can actually be remedied in in lessons. So just because you're not there doesn't mean you don't try, it means you figure out the method to get there. And that's another deep lesson that a lot of people don't they don't get until they hear it, you know. Uh I'm telling you, uh Tina Shree, if you were if you were my age, we'd be friends. Because I would love the adult you. If you're already this way at 13, when you yeah, I would love the adult you. You're awesome. I I absolutely love talking to you. And and I and I do genuinely hear a lot of wisdom coming from you. There are people who get on big stages. Well, you've already been on a big stage, but there are people who get on big stages, and I mean adults who try to teach what a lot of what you've just said. Um, but you put it very simply, coming from a 13-year-old, it just means to me it's really powerful. So Tanishri, thank you so, so, so much for coming on. I absolutely love talking to you. Um, and I hope to see you go very far. I'll be sh uh I'll be shocked if you don't. As a matter of fact, I'm expecting that you will. So um, in the future, don't forget that you talk to me.

Tanushri Sriram 21:29

Yeah.

Fatima Bey 21:30

When you're rich and famous, don't forget about me. All right. Thank you once again for coming.

Tanushri Sriram 21:37

Yeah, no problem.

Fatima Bey 21:40

And now for a mind shifting moment. Today's episode demonstrates that sometimes wisdom comes from unexpected places. If you are under the age of 18 and listening, you just heard one of your peers. Give out a lot of wisdom. And sometimes it's good to listen to our peers. She was quiet at first. Look at the name of this episode. She was quiet at first, only to find out she's absolutely full of wisdom. Sometimes wisdom comes from unexpected places. And for the adults listening, same thing applies. Sometimes wisdom comes from unexpected places. Don't assume, because someone's young, that they are less wise than you. She and others that I've had on this podcast prove otherwise. There is wisdom in our youth if we just take the time to listen. You've been listening to Mind Shift Power Podcast for complete show notes on this episode, and to join our global movement, find us at fatimabay.com. Until next time, always remember there's power in shifting your thinking.