Restaurant Leadership Podcast: Overcome Burnout, Embrace Freedom, and Drive Growth
Welcome to the Restaurant Leadership Podcast, the show that teaches you how to overcome burnout, embrace freedom, and drive growth
Your host, Christin Marvin, of Solutions by Christin.
With over two decades of extensive experience in hospitality leadership, Christin Marvin has successfully managed a diverse range of concepts, encompassing fine dining and high-volume brunch.
She has now established her own coaching and consulting firm, collaborating with organizations to accelerate internal leadership development to increase retention and thrive.
Each week, Christin brings you content and conversation to make you a more effective leader.
This includes tips, tricks and REAL stories from REAL people that have inspired her-discussing their successes, challenges and personal transformation.
This podcast is a community of support to inspire YOU on YOUR unique leadership journey.
This podcast will help you answer the following questions:
1. How do I increase my confidence?
2. How do I accelerate my leadership?
3. How do I lower my stress as a leader?
4. How do I prevent burnout?
5. How do I improve my mental health?
So join the conversation and listen in each week on spotify and apple podcasts and follow Christin on LinkedIn.
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Artwork by Solstice Photography, Tucson, AZ.
https://solsticephotography70.pixieset.com/
Restaurant Leadership Podcast: Overcome Burnout, Embrace Freedom, and Drive Growth
67: Join the Hospitality Leadership Mastery Group
Send me a Text Message. I'd love to hear from you.
What if the obstacles you face are actually the building blocks to success?
This is what we will demonstrate for you during today's introduction to group coaching.
Join us as we explore this empowering idea through the experiences of Kimberly, a former operations professional who transformed her career in the fast-paced world of hospitality into a thriving online business. In this episode, we promise to unravel the essentials of restaurant leadership coaching and the profound benefits of group coaching. You'll discover how slowing down, enhancing self-awareness, and creating a clear vision can help hospitality leaders harness their unique skills to tackle challenges head-on.
We journey into the heart of self-discovery, addressing internal battles such as self-sabotage and undiagnosed ADHD. Through compelling stories of overcoming adversity and addiction, we share insights on transforming past fears into growth opportunities. Our conversation draws on personal experiences to highlight the courage required to trust oneself, create meaningful projects, and turn dreams into reality. Prepare to be inspired by the power of storytelling and the art of workshops in reshaping one's life and legacy.
The spotlight on Henal is one of resilience and reinvention as we follow his path from chef to certified life coach. Through personal tales of heartbreak and addiction, we underscore the importance of honesty and the transformative potential of embracing one’s story. You'll learn how listening, patience, and community support can facilitate change, and why it's never too late to embark on a new journey. By the episode's end, we hope you'll see your unique story as a potent asset for both personal and professional growth. Join us for an episode filled with heart, hope, and the pursuit of happiness in hospitality leadership.
Enrollment is now open for The Hospitality Leadership Mastery Group. 6 people will be chosen for this 6 month program and the next enrollment will happen in May. If you are ready to invest in your leadership and surround yourself with a network of like-minded leaders in the industry, join us.
For more information, visit christinmarvin.com/groupcoaching
More from Christin:
Grab your free copy of my audiobook, The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary at christinmarvin.com/audio
Curious about one-on-one coaching or leadership workshops? Click this link to schedule a 15 minute strategy session.
Podcast Production: https://www.lconnorvoice.com/
Welcome to the no Hesitations podcast, the show where restaurant leaders learn tools, tactics and habits from the world's greatest operators.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, kristen Marvin, with Solutions by Kristen.
Speaker 1:I've spent the last two decades in the restaurant industry and now partner with restaurant owners to develop their leaders and scale their businesses without wasting time and energy, so they can achieve work-life balance and make more money. You can now engage with me on the show and share topics you'd like to hear about, leadership, lessons you want to learn and any feedback that you have. Simply click the link at the top of the show notes and I'll give you a shout out on a future episode. Thanks so much for listening and I look forward to connecting. All right, we're going to jump in here and get started and, hanal, I'll let you know when you can turn your camera off here. But welcome to group coaching. This is really, really exciting. This is the first live event that I've done in terms of group coaching, and the intention here is really to introduce you to what coaching is, and coaching is a beautiful way to help you get really present in the moment of where you're currently at Slow down, which is something that many of us in the hospitality industry don't do often enough. I know when I was in operations for 20 years, it was really difficult for me to slow down. I loved moving a million miles an hour. But coaching gives us an opportunity to slow down and really understand where we're currently at and then build a vision for where we want to go and get to the future right in the way that we want, with a lot of intention and focus. So the process of this is really building a vision, understanding what success looks like, where we want to go, creating a path together on how to get there and then removing those roadblocks. And those roadblocks can be ones that we know are available to us in there and oftentimes ones that we don't know. So coaching is a great way to help you identify your blind spots, too, and enhance some self-awareness. So there's a lot of moments of insight, a lot of aha, a lot of really fun, challenging moments, and this is where growth happens. So super excited to introduce you to this today. Just to let you know again. Anybody that's joining us, please let us know where you're coming from in the chat. We'd love to celebrate you being here and taking the time this morning to invest in yourself.
Speaker 1:This is a little bit of fun indulgent time. My name is Kristen Marvin. I partner with restaurant owners and operators to help them overcome their biggest challenges, so they can spend time and energy where they want and where it matters most, and what that looks like is one-on-one intensive coaching, group coaching, leadership workshops and then a library of resources that are available to you, and I'll talk a little bit about that in a moment. So, again, our goal today is to introduce you to coaching. Have you take away some key insights?
Speaker 1:Kimberly and Hanal may not be in the same roles that you are currently in. However, we can all learn so much from each other's stories, and you're going to be able to pull some insights and different perspectives from some of the things that they share today, which is super powerful stuff. I'm also launching a group coaching program, and so I'm going to talk to you about what that looks like later on in the session today. So, without further ado, hanal, if you will give us a little bit of one-on-one space here with Kimberly and I and turn your camera off, we are going to jump in. Thank you so much. So, kimberly, we're going to go for about 20-ish minutes here. We'll jump Hanal back on at 8.30. Is there anything that you need from me or anything that you would like to design before we get started?
Speaker 2:I think the original intention for me to come is just as you spoke about before is I come from operations. I come from the fast paced industry of being a server and a bartender and an extrovert, and so taking that and slowing down and sitting down in front of a computer and building an online business has been a huge transition for me. So that's, I think, where the design comes in how to structure that and how to slow down and take the time. Use the skills the transferable skills that I gained from all of that. Use the skills the transferable skills that I gained from all of that, but structured in a way that is productive.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love it. Is there anything that you need from me as a coach today, or anything you want me?
Speaker 2:to know. I think actionable steps is nice. Just a little bit of structure, as I said. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love it. Say a little bit more about what you're looking for in terms of this structure and path moving forward.
Speaker 2:I believe that it's a challenge for me to navigate a daily flow where I feel like I'm getting something done I believe I have undiagnosed ADHD, so again taking all the moving parts of my old life and slowing them down has been a challenge and to structure a day where I feel like I'm getting things done in a productive manner that's allowing me to see results.
Speaker 1:How does this? Thank you for sharing that undiagnosed ADHD, too, and just your struggles around this. What's this experience currently like for you?
Speaker 2:It tends to be a little bit confusing, I think is the best way to describe it. I think is the best way to describe it Frustrating, like if I can tap into the energies that are causing me to want to have this conversation, because I know I have the ability. I do a lot of, again, one-on-one coaching with people and I see the impact I'm making, I see the value in it. But to move forward and to grow and expand, this is what's holding me back, yeah.
Speaker 1:What does that energy feel? Like, that frustration, that like holding it back, holding you back.
Speaker 2:It feels like I'm not getting anywhere. It feels very resistant, it feels very sabotaging, self-sabotaging.
Speaker 1:What are you noticing right now that I'm incredibly nervous. If you could put an image or a metaphor to that resistance or that self-sabotage. What comes up for you?
Speaker 2:it's a, it's a block. Um, I've kind of done exercises like this before and it's uh, it's dark in color and it just won't let me through. How big is the block Like I can't see past it. It's big, it's big.
Speaker 1:Okay, can you see around it? Is there something on?
Speaker 2:the top or on the sides or below it. I could almost actually it's almost transparent because I know what's on the other side of it. I can't get there. So it's almost like banging your head against a wall or something. Yeah, yeah, absolutely Over and over and over and over and over, and it's like that cycle and so, yeah, getting through that cycle, getting over that cycle, that's not allowing me to move forward.
Speaker 1:You said you know what's on the other side. What's on the other side?
Speaker 2:My vision, my dream. I have the purpose why I'm here. All of the things that I experienced in life have got me to this point and I feel like it's right there, yeah.
Speaker 1:What's your vision? What's the dream?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I I overcome a lot of adversity and trauma and I'm a recovering addict, and so, coming from the restaurant industry and taking all of that my vision, is my passion and my mission is to help people who struggled like I did. It's to give them hope and allow them to dream and to know that it's possible.
Speaker 1:How do you want to do that?
Speaker 2:I want to do it through coaching, very similar to yourself. So through coaching, through workshops, through engaging in this way, doing inspiring talks, I would love to write a book. You know all the things that a lot of us in this space are doing and want to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, incredible. You have this dream of wanting to become an author, wanting to be somebody that's on stage, that's leading workshops, that's helping other people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it all led to this, like any, any kind of past self-discovery or development that I've done has allowed me to see all the gifts and everything I bring to the table from my past experiences that will allow me to do this and successfully do it. I'm just in the infancy stages and so getting through that barrier and that wall is kind of yeah, it's like right there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so right now you're seeing this wall through the lens and the perspective of something that is so large and so massive. You know it's on the other side, but you can't see through it, you can't get around it. What's a different perspective you could use to look at that wall or that block?
Speaker 2:like tapping into what lights me up. Yeah, so following really what brings me the most passion and the most joy, as opposed to focusing on the block focus.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how could you look at the block differently?
Speaker 2:um, almost like showing up today. So look at it more as something that is uncomfortable, or something to move through, because there's something amazing on the other side, as I've said. So use it as a tool, maybe. Yeah, what's the block made of? Old fear, old trauma, being told things that weren't true?
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, all the things that you've endured to get to this point? Yeah, yeah, what if that block was comprised of all the building blocks that you've been collecting and all the experiences that you've collected to get to this point? Unlock the skills to transform your leadership with the Hospitality Leaders Roadmap Move from ordinary to extraordinary. Packed with practical strategies to lead with confidence and create lasting impact in your restaurant. Visit kristinmarvincom. Slash audio to download your free audio book today.
Speaker 4:Coaches like you are already growing their brands and attracting new clients with professional podcasts. But between scheduling episodes and audio editing, starting a podcast might feel like another thing on your to-do list. At El Conor Voice LLC, we make podcasting simple and effective, from recording to promotion, so you can focus on your clients. You already have the material. I can turn it into engaging podcast episodes that can boost your brand and expand your reach. Discover how easy it can be to launch your show with us. Schedule a free consultation.
Speaker 2:Follow my links in the episode notes. Reach out and let's talk.
Speaker 1:So do I have to take the building blocks down then, so I can get to the other side. Let's explore. We've got some options. You could take them down. What else could you do?
Speaker 2:I could use them to climb over.
Speaker 1:What would that be like?
Speaker 2:Well, I think maybe that's what it takes, like that's the work. Maybe that's the work that has to go into this to be able to get to the other side.
Speaker 1:Perhaps what would it feel like to start climbing?
Speaker 2:Hi Christopher. Hi Christopher, it feels amazing because I think I've already climbed a pretty far way up. I didn't just land here today without doing some pretty deep, you know, strength training, shall we call it? Yeah?
Speaker 1:that's an important distinction, right, you've already started to climb, so you're not at the bottom of the block.
Speaker 2:No, I know what the bottom's like. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What point of the block are you at? I feel this is good. I feel like if I go and I'm a very visual person and if I picture it it's like someone's at the top with their hand out and it's like I can almost reach the hand to be pulled up. And I think what I've realized in this experience is I've tried to do a lot of things alone. I came up with this grandiose idea of last call coaching and I was like this is amazing and I hit the ground running and then I realized really what it takes to do it and I came to this place. I'm not alone. I have great mentors and support, but it really was a solo journey for me to overcome what I had to. And now maybe I'm at the place where it's, like you know, having this conversation with you is me putting my hand out and reaching for for help and knowing that I can't do it alone.
Speaker 1:What's at the top.
Speaker 2:Dance party.
Speaker 1:Let's do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just you know, freedom, I think freedom for me it's been, you know it hasn't been lollipops and rainbows. I've seen some pretty dark stuff in my day and so at the top is light and the ability to help others find their own light. This is what I've been working towards. This is why I gave up all that, I've given up and cleared the space, physically and metaphysically, to make it to the top. So it's light and beautiful and empowering and inspiring to others because they can come to the top too.
Speaker 1:Wow, so you can see the light. You've already cleared the path. What do you need to do to climb?
Speaker 2:Trust myself that I won't fall. Maybe I'll slip a couple of times, but trust that I won't fall to the bottom.
Speaker 1:What if you do fall?
Speaker 2:trust that I won't fall to the bottom. What if you do fall? Well, I guess there's something, there's a lesson to learn, I think. I think that when we fall back on something, that that means that we didn't fully learn the lesson. So not to feel like we're being punished or go back into victim just at it as well. There must be something here to learn, because I didn't see it last time yeah, yeah, business is all about experimenting, yeah, trying something, seeing what?
Speaker 2:works and that there is no destination. I think that the journey is the destination, because once I get to the next stage, there's always something else.
Speaker 1:What are you noticing right now?
Speaker 2:I'm less nervous. I'm just noticing that I'm enjoying this conversation and that I'm happy to be climbing the wall, and seeing it as a wall is a lot more. I feel I can give myself a bit more grace to climb the wall as opposed to go through the to through it. Like I had said before that it was in front of me like a role of resistance, but now, if it's a wall I can climb and there's some one on the top to help me, it doesn't seem so frustrating or so dark. What does it?
Speaker 1:what does it feel like Achievable, so dark?
Speaker 2:What does it feel like Achievable?
Speaker 1:You know, yeah, what pace do you want to take to climb the wall?
Speaker 2:Oh, I want it now. I want it, I'm instant. I mean, I'm a recovering addict who worked 25 years as a server. Instant gratification was the name of the game. No, but I've learned, obviously, in this process that it takes time to, to, to, to achieve it. So what was the question again?
Speaker 1:yeah, what's the pace you want to take um?
Speaker 2:I think I want to take the pace of just allowing things to naturally unfold, like when we see, when we listen to, when we hear that comment trust the process. What does that really mean? Right, it's very cliche, you hear it all the time, but really when I, when I, sink into trusting the process, it means like allowing that greater force that what we can't see, smell, taste, touch, that divine guidance to really allow it to unfold as it's supposed to. And so when I hit the wall of resistance, to take a step back and to know that that's trying to teach me that now is not the time for whatever it is that I'm trying to achieve and find something that allows the natural flow to happen, so that creative process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how are you going to know, or how do you want to find, define success along the way?
Speaker 2:By the lives that I impact. So if I sit, you know it's interesting because I used to say if I could just help one person, like my mentor coach helped me, then that would be success. So if I look at that context, then I'm already successful because I receive messages all the time from people that are just so grateful for the help I've provided them. Um, so I think on a grander scale of success for my own success. So if I remove that to create financial flow and a sustainable, stable life that lights me up, that doesn't feel like work, that's success to me.
Speaker 1:What does sustainable look like for you?
Speaker 2:um, no worry of where the next will come from. So just the knowing sustainable is, yeah, just like ever flowing, or it's hard to put it into words, like to articulate what I'm visualizing sustainable to be yeah, if we go no more worries, maybe if we go back to the wall and the climb and the flow, what's that look like on the wall?
Speaker 2:back to the wall and the climb and the flow. What's that look like on the wall? The wall won't fall over or I won't fall off the wall. Like the wall is sturdy and the foundation's built, that's good. Sustainable means that like the foundation has been laid.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, can you trust that the foundation's been laid?
Speaker 2:yeah, that's been a big one for me this year. I'm really into numerology and this year was a four-life path, or a four-personal year, which is all about foundation and building that foundation, and so it's kind of been the theme for me and I feel I have done fairly well at it. So I think I'm going to end the year by laying the final. I was thinking like pouring the final bit of concrete, but I don't know if that's, I don't know. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what does that look like?
Speaker 2:It looks like setting up 2025 very intentionally, so I can build from that foundation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:What do you want to build? A space and a safe place and a platform for those in the industry your chefs, your servers, your bartenders, your dishes, all of it. I love the people and I have come to a really big aha moment recently about how much I love the people as opposed to kind of the business side of things, and so that's been a really great moment for me to begin this process of looking at 2025 and how I want it to unfold and what I want to create. So it's pretty exciting and terrifying, but I think that those kind of go hand in hand because we live in a world of duality, so you wouldn't know one without the other.
Speaker 1:What do you want your legacy to be?
Speaker 2:That little pineapple symbol that I created for my you know my branding. I want that little thing plastered everywhere. Little thing plastered everywhere. I want people to know that. You know, I just yeah, I think my story is my legacy and I think writing a book just as you've done, I think leaves that legacy behind. I've got 25 years worth of journals upstairs, so the book's already written. I just got to pull it all together I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you, you have so many pebbles and journals and experiences that you. What's coming up for me right now is that you, you've got all the stuff loaded into your backpack as you're climbing this wall. You've got all the tools and resources that you need to be successful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. I love that you use the journaling or the backpack analogy because throughout the years of healing and since getting sober, for me it was taking out all that was put in there, that was weighing me down, and you're right now. It's filled with the tools and the insights and the experiences that will help me to continue to climb. Thank you.
Speaker 1:What else do you need to put in the backpack?
Speaker 2:To trust myself. I can trust the process that we spoke about, but that's one thing. But I think trusting ourselves is really important, trusting myself is really important.
Speaker 1:Have you had an experience in your life where you fully trusted yourself?
Speaker 2:Yeah, say more Well in 2021, I I packed up, I sold everything I owned and if it didn't fit in the mini cooper, it wasn't coming with me, and I moved into a trailer in the woods for six months in a place that I didn't know anyone. I was only a year sober and I trusted myself over winter to survive and to to get through all of the hardships and the healing and the everything I needed to face and that was beautiful and wretched all at the same time but I trusted myself to be able to come through the other side lighter and with more clarity, and I achieved that.
Speaker 1:What drove that trust I achieved that?
Speaker 2:What drove that trust? Bravery.
Speaker 1:And all the things I'd been through and already survived.
Speaker 2:How can you apply that moment to now? I knew you were going to ask that You're coaching a coach right now and I love it, and I love that this because it's hard to coach yourself. It's great to be coached by coach, because you do see things in different perspectives and I can. I can use that as as my, as my faith moving forward, and I can tap into that, remembering that I do have what it takes and I've overcome all of like the hard parts over. This is the fun part now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you have all the tools and resources you need to succeed. Yeah, you've done this once before. Now you get to do it again and create whatever you want to create. You've got your vision. You know your passion and your purpose. You've gone through the work. You know exactly where to go. Yeah, you are so powerful, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for creating the space and for the work that you do and, yeah, it's really great to be here, thank you.
Speaker 1:You bet. What's one action item you want to take out of today's conversation?
Speaker 2:To take the next step forward and creating something that I have been wanting to create. So it's like one step up towards the top of the yeah, what's that step? Step up towards the top of the yeah, what's that step? Uh, it's a workshop that I've been wanting to create, uh, and have been kind of putting it off. All the the framework is there, but actually going deep into the creative process, so I'm going to start that yeah, okay, if you want any accountability from me on that, feel free to reach out.
Speaker 1:I'd love to look at it. Be there, whatever support you need. Yeah, I love it. Thank you, kristen. Thank you, thank you, kimberly. All right, that is going to wrap up our time with Kimberly today. I would love, for those of you that are with us right now, would you please put in the chat what your takeaway was, or moment of insight, from that conversation. Let's show kimberly some love for showing up so vulnerably and powerfully and so early in the morning. We're so fresh in the mornings, aren't we? We are full of ideas. Yeah, what would your? What was your takeaway? Those of you that are joining us Round of applause from.
Speaker 1:Christopher cheering section. Kristen says great job. Thank you All. Right, we're going to switch over to Hanal. So, kimberly, you can take yourself off video and Hanal, if you can, come on, we are ready for you, perfect.
Speaker 3:I'm a bit out of breath. I've literally just 15 seconds ago just walked in, so I'm tired from what's been happening. That's okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. This is a great example of during coaching. You don't know what, what comes before this or what's coming after, so let's take a deep breath. I invite you to take a deep breath. Let's just get really present in the moment. All right, is there anything that you want to design before we get started today, or anything you want me to know?
Speaker 3:Kimberly, I entered into the sphere of coaching, following in your wonderful example, Christine, and it's getting through the journey, shall we say.
Speaker 3:I love it to market yourself, which is something of a new realm for me, because it's normally marketing the business that I've had previously. Now, I guess the focus is on me, which is different because I'm a semi-introvert, shall we say. I like to be behind the scene. I was in the kitchen doing the cooking. When it was in the kitchen doing the cooking, meeting the guests, my wife would be the one that would go out. It's a new skill to learn, shall we say. What does marketing yourself mean to you? It means telling people about myself, telling them about who I am, what I can do and how I'm able to help them.
Speaker 1:Tell me about yourself.
Speaker 3:I have been through struggles like yourself. I've battled alcohol in the past, having written my story out just to see where my challenges have come, kind of like wait, how have you got here? How have you not self-destructed, how have you not blown up? And from standing out and looking at yourself, you kind of feel you have that strength, you've got that determination, you have that willpower and I guess you could write a book about it. As they say, everyone's got. Everyone's life is a story, isn't it?
Speaker 1:yeah, what's your story?
Speaker 3:so 32 years ago I went, started into hospitality and, coming from a an asian indian background, back then it was you need to be a lawyer, you need to. It was you need to be a lawyer, you need to be a doctor, you need to be a dentist in the high-performing role, shall we say. So I had to battle my friends telling me why are you doing hospitality? You know it's not a good industry, but I guess my mindset was there that it was the area that I wanted to be in. You know, to make For me it's Hennell wanting to make happiness in hospitality. That was my thing, because hospitality is about bringing smiles to people's faces. So I battled that. I managed to push myself to work as an assistant night manager at 22 years old by night and study during the daytime.
Speaker 3:My biggest challenge, shall we say, was at 29, having to end my marriage because my ex had cheated on me twice. My dog died on my birthday. My dad was in hospital for six months and died the day after. He had a successful heart transplant within 11 months. So all that happened within 11 months and the biggest push I went after that was about seven months.
Speaker 3:After that I decided to go abroad to volunteer and teach English to orphans in a completely different country, and that was, I guess, to kind of find yourself a little bit and get away from life's pressures. Had my business, got married again, sorry, had my business the year my daughter was born, in January. In October I was in hospital because of alcohol abuse and I think it was the doctors telling me that you're lucky to be alive. And the one thing I take from that year is it was the year I became a father, but it was also the year that I didn't want my daughter to not have a father.
Speaker 3:So seven years sober, which I, a lot of people keep saying that you should be proud about, I kind of don't see anything so big and wow about it. But as you know, being in hospitality, you're surrounded by the pressures. Come home, have a drink. You just want to unwind, you just see that drink as an unwinding thing. But then it becomes a battle because you're just doing it constantly and then having to close my business at the end of December 22 because of raising rent that the landlord increased on and I just took what I I didn't.
Speaker 3:People kept saying oh you must be sad because you've lost it, but I just look at what I gained from it. I always look at what I gained from things and my my little thing is I I like to fail, because the word fail means a further attempt in learning. And if, if I have that in my, in my brain, you're not scared to sort of fail. Taught apprenticeships, hospitality apprenticeships, because for me it's always about giving in hospitality, you just give, give, give to people, don't you? You want, you want people to succeed. At the end of this, end of February this year, I decided to give that up. I could see my mental health was suffering and I took this journey, my my life coach, actually, that I had said to me that you should be a life coach because you've been through so much and you have that in you to have that patience, you know to teach people. And then here we are, certified life coach and now it's time to help even more people, should we say?
Speaker 1:Thank you for sharing all that. That's beautiful.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 1:So what I'm hearing is that you have spent 32 years in hospitality and a lifetime of overcoming adversity and objection after objection and hardship after hardship, with the purpose of providing happiness and hospitality and teaching others how to do the same. What lands for you when I say that?
Speaker 3:actually feels like responsibility now that, uh, you've got to deliver. You know the tickets up on this, up on the on the server. You need to mix it up and start serving and giving the best dish you can, but it's, uh, it's a journey that I think can bring more happiness.
Speaker 1:How did you market your dishes to your staff when you were a chef?
Speaker 3:The main ingredient I guess we always put into it is love. The main ingredient I guess we always put into it is love. Anyone can make an omelette, shall we say, but it's how much love you put into it and how much care and making it as if you're serving your last one kind of thing.
Speaker 1:What was your favourite dish?
Speaker 3:you created your last one kind of thing. What was your favourite dish you created? It's hard to say, to be honest, because each one is special, but I think it was the omelettes, because we made such a different mix of them. And I don't eat eggs. I think that was the kind of the secret element that, although I don't eat eggs, I think that was the kind of the secret element that, although I don't eat eggs, people always used to be kind of amazed at that, that you might not eat it but you serve it so well when you cook it so well. And I think the other thing that was, we would have fun in the kitchen. There wasn't any shouting. There wasn't any shouting, there wasn't any screaming. We were just there in the moment and enjoying it. Yeah, it was a hobby. It was a hobby. To wake up early in the morning was a hobby.
Speaker 1:Yeah, was there a story behind your dishes?
Speaker 3:It was just a bit different. You know, we had an Indian flavor and we used to call it Bollywood. We had Italians flavor and we used to call it Bollywood. We had Italian's flavour and we used to call it Mafioso. We had Mexican dishes and we used to call it Banditos. And it was just bringing for us. It was bringing world cuisine in one place into a small venue in northwest of London. Some people have not even heard of North Harrow, but it was just bringing that community together because it was an environment where we you know, when you have a business, you're able to give to the community because you've got that building to to do more. It was. It was that place where you'd had the school saying oh, would you mind donating to the raffle for the christmas? Yes, let's give out a 25 pound voucher, let's give out a 50 pound voucher, let's give breakfast for the family to, to just bring people together. I think it was the having that space who's the community that you want to serve?
Speaker 3:I guess, when you're trying to get down to that niche, I I want to help people in that midlife who just feel that it's it's too late to do anything to change their habits, to change their mindset where are these people?
Speaker 3:They're everywhere, they're hiding away, feeling that they can't do anything, they're stuck in. You know, you get to that midlife and you feel that this is who I am, this is what I've done, this is what I will be, whereas I believe that, no matter who you are, no matter what you do, it's how you change your subconscious mindset to say that I can do something different. And I know, because I guess I practiced on myself to say if I can change my mindset, if I can do different things, other other people can. And it's giving them the tools, giving them that, that empowerment, being that cheerleader, being that person that's pushing, pushing them up that hill, out that mountain, when they feel that they can't, they want to rest, they want to stop how do you want to connect with these people?
Speaker 3:I want to connect with them, I guess with my honesty and you know, just like, for example, sharing it out to you and saying it, you say when you say about these challenges, making them feel that it doesn't matter what you've been through, that if I can do it, you can do it.
Speaker 3:You know there's I personally I don't. You can feel a bit of shame. I guess some people feel that you know I was an alcoholic and you know it's a kind of taboo thing. But I'm always of this belief. If you are, if you can help one person by being honest, you've kind of succeeded in your job. Obviously I want to help as many people as possible, but I just want that belief, people to have that belief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how have you already helped people?
Speaker 3:listening, I think you know we all say that we can actively listen, but just being there for somebody to listen to them and to help them understand, and patience. I've got an eight-year-old daughter so I've got to practice in patience. You know, it's quite easy to shout at your children, I guess, when they're not doing things, whereas I'm quite a mellow person and I know that by shouting it's not going to resolve anything. So it's it's having that understanding. We all children once, believe it or not, and I know that you know we go through life and we we copy our parents because that's what we know, whereas there's always a different way and it's just showing that.
Speaker 1:Yeah what's the way forward for you?
Speaker 3:the way forward is just this. Last week, you know, I'm trying to get my, my website together. Now taking that next step. It was before. When you have a restaurant, you know the first thing you need to do let's get a website up, let's get a menu up, let's get the hours of opening hours and and showing off the dishes whereas this has been a learning curve where that was my first thing that I wanted to do let's get a website up. But then I said hold on a second. I need to learn the skills, I need to get that confidence because, especially when you've been in hospitality and you've been in that leadership role, everybody's looking up towards you because you've got every single answer possible, whereas this being a learning curve.
Speaker 3:I've had to kind of step all the way back down to that bottom of the ladder and take one step at a time. Yeah, and, as I said, my coach has told me that you, you're ready, you you've got that skills, you know when to pause, you know the questions to ask and it's now moving forward. I guess it's just you just want to help people.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So if we take it back to the restaurant days, you've got your menu, you've got the building, you've built the foundation.
Speaker 3:How are you going to get customers in the door Talking to people, networking, getting it out there, telling people who you are, what you are and what you do, and just passing on that message that maybe, if you're not ready for coaching, if you know somebody that is that you're here to help them.
Speaker 1:Yeah where's the opportunity for you to reconnect with the people that you've already impacted in your existing network?
Speaker 3:it's literally just going through my phone book, I guess, and just calling people. You know, I've I spoke to somebody in hospitality and I would like to help people in hospitality because, especially in the UK, hospitality at the moment, I guess, is suffering and when you've been in hospitality for so long it's hard to let go. It's hard to let go of it. So I really want to try and get into hospitality where I can dedicate some of my time to help people in hospitality move forward and not just go to work and just come home and feel exhausted because you've been on your feet for 10 hours a day and you've had to take abuse from people. And who do you let that out to? And I want people getting into that habit of let me open a bottle of spirits or something and just drown my sorrows that there is another way and if I can be that outlet, I would like to think that I can be that person to help them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you want to help people in hospitality who are in midlife, know that it's not too late and there's a way to move forward 100%.
Speaker 3:Okay, kind of summed it up there.
Speaker 1:Love it, and now you're. You're incredible. Your story is incredible. Your foundation is incredible. Your it up there. I love it, and now you're. You're incredible. Your story is incredible. Your foundation is incredible. Your passion's there. You are absolutely inspiring.
Speaker 3:See, this is very hard to take because I'm not like, I'm not used to taking compliments like that. I prefer to give it out to people. So it's, it's very nice to hear that from somebody else. Thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Thank you, really appreciate you being here. What's one tiny step you want to take to move forward today from this conversation?
Speaker 3:I guess everyone has that sort of imposter syndrome, especially when you're trying to do something new. I guess everyone has that sort of imposter syndrome, especially when you're trying to do something new. And I think you've provided that belief that it is possible Having that person there to listen, to hold that space. As you say, and as Kimberly said it, when you say things in your head it's just going round and round, but when you actually say it out aloud it gives more empowerment and more belief.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome. All right, Thank you so much. Great job, hanal. Kimberly, if you want to come back on camera, you are welcome to, or you can stay off, whatever you're comfortable with. No more, no more powerful questions coming at you Again. For those of you that are still with us, put something in the chat for Hanal, take away a moment to recognize his, his sharing today, or something that an insight that you took from the conversation that you want to apply.
Speaker 1:Kimberly, I don't know if you saw the comments from Kristen above. I love that she saw a hand at the top of the wall To me that says she knows deep down that other people may have climbed a similar wall, that it is doable. And Dean says your experience is your assets. No one is going to tell your story better than you. So true, so true, awesome. So, while we are waiting for some comments to come in, I will let you know again. Thank you both for your time and for showing up coaching with me for the first time. I really, really appreciate that. I know we all had some butterflies when we started, so thanks for working through that.
Speaker 1:So the I'm gonna let you know about the group coaching program details. So the enrollment for this program happens twice a year in January and June. So currently in enrollment enrollment right now it is a six month commitment to start with the program. The meeting frequency will be once a month at this time, on Mondays, so the second Monday of every month and the meeting topic we're going to meet for an hour, just like this. The meeting topics, just like with Kimberly and Hanal today, are going to be on your terms. Whatever you are being challenged with right now, we're going to tackle those things in real time and help you continue to move forward. The group officially starts January 13th. What is included is a copy of my book, the Hospitality Leaders Roadmap, access to my resources podcast, the Restaurant Leadership Podcast. Newsletters every week that I write on LinkedIn and my website around leadership development, daily leadership tips on LinkedIn and this community and network that you're building of people that are like-minded, that are going through similar challenges, that you are a way to connect with them outside of just this group.
Speaker 1:The group sessions will not be recorded and live. I just want to let everybody know that, in case that's a barrier. Your investment typically for this program would be $250 a month. Today I am offering it for $175. And I will only be accepting six people to the group because I want to make sure that everybody gets ample time for coaching when we meet for these sessions.
Speaker 1:If you would like to join, you are welcome to visit kristenmarvincom slash group coaching to sign up today and then, if you would like more intensive one-on-one coaching with me, feel free to just put your information in that link and I'll reach out to you and we can connect about that further as well. If there's any additional questions before we wrap up here, feel free to throw them in the chat. And again, I just want to thank Kimberly and Hanal for showing up today. I hope this was beneficial and can't wait to hear about the next steps of your journey and be a part of it. For sure, and Hanal, I didn't offer it to you, but if you want any accountability or I can help in any way, please let me know. I'm always available.
Speaker 3:Thank you, Kristen. Your book is just wonderful, by the way. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Appreciate it All right, Kristen. Your book is just wonderful, by the way. Thank you, Appreciate it All right, everybody that's going to do it for us. Again, thanks so much for your time. Happy holidays, and we'll talk to you soon. Have a great day.
