Restaurant Leadership Podcast: Overcome Burnout, Embrace Freedom, and Drive Growth
Welcome to the Restaurant Leadership Podcast, the show that teaches you how to overcome burnout, embrace freedom, and drive growth
Your host, Christin Marvin, of Solutions by Christin.
With over two decades of extensive experience in hospitality leadership, Christin Marvin has successfully managed a diverse range of concepts, encompassing fine dining and high-volume brunch.
She has now established her own coaching and consulting firm, collaborating with organizations to accelerate internal leadership development to increase retention and thrive.
Each week, Christin brings you content and conversation to make you a more effective leader.
This includes tips, tricks and REAL stories from REAL people that have inspired her-discussing their successes, challenges and personal transformation.
This podcast is a community of support to inspire YOU on YOUR unique leadership journey.
This podcast will help you answer the following questions:
1. How do I increase my confidence?
2. How do I accelerate my leadership?
3. How do I lower my stress as a leader?
4. How do I prevent burnout?
5. How do I improve my mental health?
So join the conversation and listen in each week on spotify and apple podcasts and follow Christin on LinkedIn.
Voice Over, Mixing and Mastering Credits:
L. Connor Voice - LConnorvoice@gmail.com
Artwork by Solstice Photography, Tucson, AZ.
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Restaurant Leadership Podcast: Overcome Burnout, Embrace Freedom, and Drive Growth
83: Lead Without Losing Yourself: The Boundary Every Restaurant Owner Needs
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What happens when a restaurant owner's identity becomes completely consumed by their business?
In this intimate coaching session, Christin Marvin works with Heather Morrison, co-owner of Restaurant Olivia in Denver, to address the challenge that's holding her back from being her best self as a leader.
Before we dive in—this episode is brought to you by Restaurant Technologies, a company committed to making restaurants safer, smarter, and more efficient. From automated oil management to hood and flue cleaning, they help operators remove daily friction so leaders can focus on what matters most. Learn more at go.rti-inc.com/RestaurantLeadershipPodcast.
Rather than taking the easy route of discussing operational systems or staff training, Heather bravely acknowledges that her foundation—setting personal boundaries and self-care—is where transformation must begin. "Some days I feel like all I am is a work machine," she confesses, articulating a struggle familiar to countless hospitality professionals.
Through powerful questioning, we witness Heather define her "best self" as someone who is strong, capable, kind, and makes others feel comfortable. The conversation reveals how one foundational habit—exercise—can create ripple effects across every leadership challenge she faces. This isn't merely about work-life balance; it's about showing up as the leader her team deserves.
The magic of this episode lies in its simplicity. Complex leadership challenges often have straightforward solutions that require consistent execution. As Heather realizes, "When I feel like the best version of myself, the challenges don't feel as daunting."
If you've ever felt your identity being swallowed by your restaurant, if you've struggled to create boundaries in an industry that demands everything, or if you simply want to lead from a place of strength rather than depletion, this coaching session offers both validation and a practical path forward.
Want help setting boundaries that will enhance your business and your quality of life? Let’s talk—visit christinmarvin.com to connect.
Resources:
More from Christin:
Grab your free copy of my audiobook, The Hospitality Leader's Roadmap: Move from Ordinary to Extraordinary at christinmarvin.com/audio
Curious about one-on-one coaching or leadership workshops? Click this link to schedule a 15 minute strategy session.
Podcast Production: https://www.lconnorvoice.com/
as part of my focus for episodes for 2025, I'm really going to lean in more to coaching and really continue to show you guys in the hospitality industry what coaching can do for you, how it can impact your quality of life and your business. Today I am coaching heather morrison, who's a co-owner of the most beautiful, fabulous restaurant, restaurant Olivia, in Denver, colorado, and we've been working together for some time. So you're going to see me kind of push her and challenge her in some areas where she's when she's not standing up for herself. But we're going to talk today about setting boundaries, creating personal boundaries and creating professional boundaries and you're going to see that she comes to this conversation with a laundry list of issues and kind of wants to go the easy route. But we dig our heels in and I really challenge her to go tackle the biggest issue. And you see, through this episode, when you start to talk, when you spend time tackling the biggest challenge on your list, typically all the other ones become insignificant or much easier to solve or don't seem as important as they were when you sat down and wrote them out in the beginning. So I would challenge you, as you're listening to this conversation and the coaching, not just to listen for what Heather's talking about or some of the questions that I'm asking and the insights that she's taking away, but also listen for insights that you can take away from this episode and immediately apply to your life or business. Creating change is all about taking tiny steps, not monumental leaps, and creating a system to hold yourself accountable, and so you're going to see how we design that together today. I hope you enjoy this episode. I would also love to know what your insights are. Feel free to shoot me a text message. You can text me. There's a link in the show notes at the very, very top as you're listening. Shoot me a text and let me know what insights you've had. I'd love to hear what you get out of this episode and what topics and issues you'd like to hear me address in future episodes. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Restaurant Leadership Podcast, the show where restaurant leaders learn tools, tactics and habits from the world's greatest operators. I'm your host, kristen Marvin. With Solutions by Kristen, I've spent the last two decades in the restaurant industry and now partner with restaurant owners to develop their leaders and scale their businesses through powerful one-on-one coaching, group coaching and leadership workshops. This show is complete with episodes around coaching, leadership development and interviews with powerful industry leaders. You can now engage with me on the show and share topics you'd like to hear about, leadership lessons you want to learn and any feedback you have. Simply click the link at the top of the show notes and I will give you a shout out on a future episode. Thanks so much for listening and I look give you a shout out on a future episode. Thanks so much for listening and I look forward to connecting.
Speaker 1:Running a restaurant is tough. Long hours, staffing challenges, rising costs Sound familiar. What if I told you there's a smarter way to manage your kitchen, boost your staff's morale and keep your operations running smoothly. Enter Restaurant Technologies, the ultimate solution for modern kitchen management. Here's how Restaurant Technologies can transform your business.
Speaker 1:One solve labor challenges. They automate unpleasant tasks like manually handling used cooking oil. They keep your staff safe and happy while promoting a safer, more efficient kitchen. Two reduce operating costs. They help you save money by optimizing oil usage and eliminating third-party cleaning services. With their auto-miss technology, some restaurants save up to $300 per month per location. Number three they help you ensure consistent food quality. Fresh oil means better tasting food every single time. They help you monitor your oil usage remotely with ease. Number four enhance safety. Reduce fire risks and injuries by eliminating the need to handle hot oil. Number five promote sustainability Join the eco-friendly movement by recycling used oil into biofuel. And number six maintain a clean kitchen. Imagine no more spills, pests or messy cleanups. The result a safer, cleaner, more efficient kitchen that saves you money and keeps your team happy. Ready to see why? Over 45,000 restaurants, from small independence to large multi-unit concepts, trust restaurant technologies? Visit rti-inccom to learn more. Heather, how can I support you today?
Speaker 2:I have a list you ready for it. Always All right, some bigger than others, but some are pretty big, so we won't get to all of them, but I'll share with you sort of where my brain is. Some days I feel like I'm on top of the world. You know that I feel like, yeah, everything's clicking and I got this. And then other days I feel like, am I even good at this? Like never mind being enough. Am I is there, like is there anything good about what I'm doing? So today might be one of those days which is great because I get to talk to you. Which is great because I get to talk to you.
Speaker 2:Um couple of options for us and I'm not sure where to start, but this always plays out naturally, so I'm not worried. Um, hiring, um, hiring is a big one, right In restaurants. I don't know how. Sometimes I don't know how to attract the people who share our core values. I can sit down in the interview and read them out loud, um, and they nod and they're like, yeah, totally. And then, through experience with them, I feel like I see, sometimes it's not a cultural fit and I wonder what I did wrong in the hiring. So hiring is one culture could be a whole other conversation, sort of how to maintain it, when you see those moments of slip where you're like, oh gosh, that's happening in our culture and I don't, that's, that's not right, shouldn't be happening. I also wouldn't mind touching on personal boundaries and how to create them. That one's like I just these are all, there's so many of them, but um, how to, kind of, we talk about saving space, right, for being human being, a wife, being a mom, just being alone, just being calm, um, and I'm not very good at that. I feel like everywhere I go, I'm still a restaurateur, so I have to be on and I'm struggling to create some space for myself.
Speaker 2:Sounds simple, turns out. The execution is super challenging for me, real big one, but truly like we could spend hours on this, bridging the wage gap and still attracting good front-of-the-house skill and talent. I have two more. Which is ridiculous, but I think I want to start with the last one, so bear with me. Not being too woke is another one. Which is funny because that I'm quoting somebody who put that in a review. Which is hysterical because, like, come on, we are trying to do the right thing for the planet and for our staff, and please don't insult us for it, but what I mean by that is telling the story table side for those who want to hear it, and learning how to teach the staff who wants to hear it. Like, what are those clues that people are giving? Do they lean in a little more when you talk about sustainability? And then you know that's your go. But so I could spend all day talking about that and someday we will.
Speaker 2:The last one is sort of that natural cycle of reminders over time, and it's interesting because you had a, I think, something on LinkedIn today talking about when we react to either a customer feedback or something that goes wrong. Right, and I have fallen victim to that many times. But I also use that as a little reminder that there might be a bump in our progression and there might be something that we as a whole need to pay attention to. And it leads me into this like, how do I systematize the reminders? It's not just full hands in, full hands out, right, it's, you know. It's the reminders to take care of yourself and be kind to each other. And you know, if there's a problem, bring it to somebody you trust in management. Or it's as simple as you know, scrape your plates before you put them in the dish pit, because the dishwasher doesn't want to have to scrape and wash Give me a break, so that might be the easiest one.
Speaker 2:to start on is sort of how to systematize that cycle.
Speaker 1:Hi everybody, we're taking a quick break to offer you an exciting opportunity. If you're a restaurant owner or manager looking to enhance your leadership skills, I invite you to join my 12-day leadership challenge. In just 12 days, you'll receive a guided packet with actionable strategies to transform your leadership in less than five minutes a day. Join the challenge and the community and grab your copy at kristinmarvincom slash 12 days. Now let's get back to the show. Okay, so I'm going to repeat back what you just this list. Thank you for coming so prepared.
Speaker 1:With such a large list, you feel like you're on top of the world sometimes and then you feel like you ask yourself I wonder if I'm doing anything right. I wonder if I'm doing anything good. Digging deeper into hiring around cultural values? Digging deeper into hiring around cultural values specifically, how are you attracting those people and then measuring them against your culture? So how? What happens?
Speaker 1:And how do you handle moments when you see culture not taking shape in your restaurant? How to create personal boundaries? You're very much a local celebrity, so how can you go out in public and turn it off? But also, you love building community when you're out and you see that that building of community directly translates to the restaurant. So how do we find something in the middle there, bridging the wage gap huge area of conversation right now, and frustration for many, especially in the Denver area Not being too woke and telling your story to the people that specifically want to hear it in a way that's not intrusive or preachy, right, and this natural cycle of the reminders when a bump happens, when something tests the system that you currently have set up, what happens?
Speaker 1:Or how do you be proactive and infuse those reminders into your daily operations? So I'm going to challenge you for a second. You said seven would be the easiest, but let's go for the most challenging. Okay, which one of these things on the list feels like the biggest challenge for you and which one is going to have the biggest impact on you as a leader?
Speaker 2:Well, you got me there. I think it's pretty obvious. It's put the mask on yourself first, right? So we can start with personal boundaries. And how in the world do I create some space? Because some days I feel like all I am is a work machine, you know, and even when I'm not even and it makes me less effective at all Like if I don't have that separation of Heather time as mom, as whatever's filling my bucket that week, and then work time, then my worktime is really vague and blah and not that good. So, um and, and you know, my business partner is one of my business partners is my husband, and so we, we talk about work all the time. You know, it's not like I can be like, well, we'll just go on a date night, because date nights are in restaurants. That's not a date, that's work.
Speaker 1:What? Uh, I love the the um analogy used of put your mask on first. Put your mask on yourself first.
Speaker 2:Say more about that um, if I'm not bringing my best self to the restaurant, then you know I'm not going to be as effective as I should be, and so I can't. I can't lead a culture, I can't. I can't lead a culture. I can't hire properly, you know, and I can't teach people how to read the guest if I'm not the best version of myself. So it's so, it's so foundational and I I feel it slipping. So I could use some sort of tools in my toolbox.
Speaker 1:Who are you when you're the best version of yourself?
Speaker 2:That's a good one. Oh boy, who am I when I'm the best version of myself? Are we looking for a character, or should I just throw out some, some descriptors?
Speaker 1:Yeah, characteristics.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool, so strong and capable, kind, loving, good listener. This, honestly, doesn't happen very often. I'm not always a good listener. I talk more than I listen, which is terrible. Let's see, you know an example of hospitality, which is a big one. But I feel like there's a reason why I love hospitality and it's because I'm good at it, you know, and it resonates with me and I love taking care of people, to a fault probably. And so you know I'm making I'm my, when I'm the best version of myself, I'm making people feel comfortable when they're around me and hopefully happy, you know, maybe not always, but guests hopefully happy.
Speaker 1:Okay. So making people feel comfortable, I'm going to add quiet confidence in there too. Okay, you said you know you're, you know you're good at what you do. Yeah, yeah, okay, you're good at what you do, yeah, yeah, okay. So we've got strong, capable, kind, loving, a good listener, someone with quiet confidence and someone who makes people feel comfortable.
Speaker 2:I think that's fair. Anything else, best version of myself. Yeah, I'm also like interesting to talk to, um, to, and a leader that people want to follow, but that's best version. That's kind of like that day that you're having a superhero day. You know, I don't feel that often enough, really Okay.
Speaker 1:What do you need to do to feel strong?
Speaker 2:What do you need to do to be to feel strong? Okay, so the word that pops into my head is so silly, but it's true, it's exercise, and I haven't been making the time to do that. Achilles tendon injury is vexing me. It's taking a long time to heal from, so I haven't been able to do my normal workout routine and I haven't pivoted. You know, I haven't found a place to go swimming or just something else to do.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you need to do to feel capable?
Speaker 2:Um, usually work a shift.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you need to do to feel kind? Hang out with my kid. How about loving?
Speaker 2:Same same Dog kid husband Okay.
Speaker 1:Good listener.
Speaker 2:Shut up and listen.
Speaker 1:What do you need to do to shut up?
Speaker 2:Maybe Okay. So what I would say honestly, what's popping into my head, is to remind myself, read my notes on the art of active listening, like I just need to to read, maybe have a little reminder of what it means and what it does for the other person. Because, gosh, when you're listened to in a in a really engaging way, there is nothing more soothing for your soul.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you need to do to have that quiet confidence? Okay, what do you need to do to have that quiet confidence.
Speaker 2:I have to be quiet. Yeah, work, talking to staff and being in standup and having a great shift where things are clicking and you know that helps.
Speaker 2:What do you need to do to make people feel comfortable? That one's easy. I think I get to just be myself on that one. Say more Okay. I think I have sort of that natural way about me with guests and with people like at Jazzercise, taekwondo, wherever it is that I am engaging church. Whichever of my other places I go to, I feel like there's sort of the natural. It's just real. And at work. Wait, what are we answering right now? What number are we on?
Speaker 1:Making people feel comfortable, making people feel comfortable, sorry.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I think that sort of comes naturally to me because I do like to ask questions and listen to people's answers. I do love to just take care of people in that way. I think sometimes with the staff that can. That's the case too, and it makes it hard to manage. It makes it hard when I have to discipline. I've gotten better at it.
Speaker 1:Okay, what do you need to do to feel interesting to others?
Speaker 2:I have something more to talk about than dogs in restaurants. I don't know, I don't know about that. One Interesting is kind of a pie in the sky. It's possible that that's just coming from a place of insecurity that I don't think I'm terribly interesting. There's a big world out there with a lot of issues, and I am not up to speed on those issues. I sort of do the head buried in the sand kind of thing, and so it's possible that's just an insecurity I have.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Who do you need, or what do you need to do, to be the leader that people want to follow? Oh, I don't know. Do I need to write a book? Do I need to walk the walk? I think? Which, boy? That's harder than it sounds, right? You know, we have our core values and I tell people all the time, like we don't expect you to fully embrace these a hundred percent, every moment of every day. These are, they're our North star. This is what we follow, this is what we strive for. But, yeah, am I perfect? Hell, no, I can think of 10 mistakes I've made this week. Um, so what do I need to do to be the leader that people want to follow? Uh, I don't know, I think. I think that might be the big question.
Speaker 1:What kind of leader do you want to be?
Speaker 2:what kind of leader do you want to be? All the characteristics you just named pretty much, but plus, plus, kind of like, plus tax and service. But you know, I want to inspire people, I want to have them see how great this, this line of work, can be, you know, and that not only is it great for people who want to stay in our industry, which I love, but, um, it's there's so many life lessons for like, for people who aren't like Will Goddard's book. Is it all about restaurants? Yeah, it kind of is. But is it great for people in banking, in hospitals, in every other industry? Yeah, so I kind of want to be, I want to inspire just people in general, to be able to take my list of things you know and personify them and teach them. That's the hardest part for me is I don't, I'm not, I'm not a great teacher. I want to be.
Speaker 1:I'm going to call bullshit on that, Okay, Because we we we've been working together for a while. We're constantly talking about ways you can teach, how you teach what all this institutional knowledge that you have, how you break it down, how you systematize it and how you teach it, and it's showing in the guest experience that you guys are offering at the restaurant, so I'm going to call you out on that.
Speaker 2:I hope so. Sometimes I just don't know how to get it out of my head and into a manual for like, how to do this, yeah, but thank you.
Speaker 1:Unlock the skills to transform your leadership with the hospitality leaders roadmap move from ordinary to extraordinary, packed with practical strategies to lead with confidence and create lasting impact in your restaurant. Visit kristinmarvincom slash audio to download your free audio book today. So for the list of things to do, we've got exercise, running, running shifts. So exercising to feel strong. Running shifts to feel capable. Hanging out with Olivia to maintain your kindness. Hanging out with your dog, olivia, and your hubby to bring in that loving feeling. To be a good listener. Shutting up and reading notes around how to be a better listener. Confidence, you said running great shifts For making people feel comfortable. You said just be yourself, be curious, ask questions To be interesting, you said battling the insecurity and feeling confident. And then for being a leader that people want to follow and someone that inspires walking the walk yeah, people want to follow and someone that inspires walking the walk yeah, which one of those would you like to say yes to and lean into a little bit more?
Speaker 2:I have to pick just one.
Speaker 1:One tiny step, I think I need to start honestly with exercise.
Speaker 2:It's the only thing that makes sense. Is that. I put it first, it's top of mind, it's making me crazy. You know I'm a grouch if I don't sweat a little bit. You know, and that's just who I've been my whole life. I found myself telling my doctor I was like I have always been two things I have always been optimistic and I have always been strong. And I'm feeling those slip in my in in these last few years and that scares the crap out of me because I don't want to. I don't want to go there. So I think, since we're starting with me, I think exercise might be the one, something that's just for me, right, it's for me. Only, what does?
Speaker 1:that look like.
Speaker 2:Well, in the past it's looked like, you know, doing taekwondo and jazz exercise a couple of times a week. So it's going to look like finding a different, like there's a social accountability to going to a class that you're part of a community Like you go one. I go to taekwondo because I love to spend time with my kiddo and we do it together. But I go to get to the next level. You know I'm working toward my black belt. So, having that taken away, and the jazz exercise, I go cause I love those women and I love the exercise. It's so much fun. Um, so now I have to kind of figure out what I am going to do and I can do it from home. I've got a bike, so maybe it looks like getting on that bike a couple of times a day and doing something else while I'm doing it. What's the commitment?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm going to push you. What's the commitment you want to make?
Speaker 2:I want to make the commitment to um, I think four times four, four times a week, um to work up a sweat. Work up a sweat Like I don't, I don't, I don't have other measurement metrics, but like, oh, close my ring on my, on my phone, on my watch. That's easy, it's already set. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1:So four times a week you're going to sweat and close the rings on your watch. Okay, so four times a week you're going to sweat and close the rings on your watch, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:What do you need to say no to in order to make that happen? I don't know how vulnerable I want to get, but I'll go for it. Um, saying no to the letting the weight of everything dragged me down, um, and so I think I need to say no to putting it off. I think I that's the answer. I need to say I need to do it in the morning, because life is just a lot Right, um, and for me, I think I got to knock it out first thing so that it gets done. So say no to procrastinating, heather.
Speaker 1:Puppies are always welcome on the show, by the way.
Speaker 2:Oh good, the whole neighborhood is involved, right now Everybody's here.
Speaker 1:I love it. Okay. So you're saying yes to four times a week of exercise, closing your rings, and you're saying no to putting it off. You're saying no to procrastination and you're making a commitment to work out to yourself in the mornings.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Love it. How's that sound?
Speaker 2:It sounds easy. It sounds not easy, but you know it's the slight edge, right, it's easy to do, but it's also easy not to do. So I need to. Um, yeah, I guess I just need to check in with you.
Speaker 1:It's not easy, but it's simple, right? We've simplified the complex issue around setting boundaries, taking one tiny step at a time, putting in some effort and then creating a new habit. You know it takes time to build new habits.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what kind of accountability do you want for me around this?
Speaker 2:I think I'm going to and tell me if this is like. I've never asked for this before. What if I text you every time I'm done Because we've tried it where at the end of the week I, you know, check in, do an accountability check-in? Sometimes by then it's too late. I haven't done it. So if I can just shoot you a quick text after I've closed my ring, that would be pretty cool.
Speaker 1:Okay, will you? Will you send me a picture of your, of your? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And when do you want to start?
Speaker 2:Not today. I have to be at work right after this and then I'm closing tonight. So, um, yeah, tomorrow, tomorrow starting tomorrow, okay, I look forward to celebrating this with you.
Speaker 1:It's going to be really exciting.
Speaker 2:Yeah me too, it's so basic, it's so foundational. I feel like I've been here before, you know, but I'm starting to like, hmm, it's sinking in at age 54 that, uh, this is so important, taking care of myself is so important, and all of this other stuff will feel a little bit easier when I feel better about myself.
Speaker 1:Is this going to have an impact on every single item you listed when we first started the call?
Speaker 2:Let's see, I don't know. I mean, I'm still gonna need some help. It'll influence it, because if I'm showing up feeling strong, then these don't feel as daunting and I can even point to like okay, actually, some of these, I've already got this. You know like I've got a good idea of where our conversation is going to go. Already got this. You know like I've got a good idea of where our conversation is going to go. Do I know how to set personal boundaries and have them stick? Not really, but it's not as scary when I feel like that best version of myself, like this list won't be as scary. And that's where the fun is is our conversations go so far, and sometimes you're just dragging me out of a hole. Go so far, and sometimes you're just dragging me out of a hole right To get me to baseline, and sometimes I'm coming in above baseline and you and I are like taking it next level. So I'm psyched to get back to baseline so that I can then go above and beyond with you with these talks.
Speaker 1:Awesome, great job, great noticing, great noticing. When we start with the biggest challenge, it's it tends to knock all these other little ones down right. Like you said, they don't seem as significant or you are showing up with more confidence, knowing how to tackle each of these challenges.
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 1:Nice job lady.
Speaker 2:No, thank you. That's awesome, awesome.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, that is going to do it for us. Thank you all so much for tuning in. Thank you, heather, for showing up as you did today, confident and curious and vulnerable Love that you've joined me on this journey to help introduce coaching to this industry that you and I both love and have worked in for many, many years. So, thank you so much. I appreciate your time.
Speaker 2:Thank you for your superpower at getting me to you know be on the right path. I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, awesome. All right, guys, that's going to do it for us this week. Please share this episode with anybody that you know in the industry who could benefit, and we'll talk to you soon.
