BIG SIS ENERGY
Big Sis Energy is a safe place for the girls! Each episode has ultimate slumber party vibes with real advice from your fav TikTok Big sisters, Makenzie and Malia. On Big Sis Energy the girls will talk about everything from relationship advice to toxic friendships, mental health, and how to be the best version of yourself.
If you are craving some sister tea time, tune in and chit-chat with Makenzie and Malia.
So sit back. Relax. Grab some popcorn and let's get this slumber party started!
-Love your internet big sisters 🤍
BIG SIS ENERGY
Stepping into our confidence era
We're shedding light on a battle we've all fought - the struggle with self-doubt and insecurities. Makenzie and I open up about our personal journeys, going deep into our own vulnerabilities. We talk about how appearances do not define our character or worth. Discussing acne, body image, and the relentless pressure of societal beauty standards. We share our challenges – the unkind remarks, and the struggle to maintain confidence.
Finally, We talk about the power of social media in showcasing diversity, and share our own experiences dealing with comments about our hair or skin color. And how surrounding ourselves with people who accept us for who we are is key for stepping into our confidence ERA! So grab some popcorn, your fav ice cream, and lets get this slumber party started!
You're listening to Big Sis Energy. Woo, welcome back to Big Sis Energy. I'm your host, mackenzie, and I'm your other host, malia. Today we're gonna be talking about everything confidence, all things, confidence.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited for today because, for one, I really wanna talk about insecurities we've had in the past, insecurities we have present day, and how we've kind of grown and also deal with those day today. Maybe that's like self doubt, insecurities, not feeling like your best, but how to still stay confident and become a confident woman. Yes, I feel like it's honestly a daily struggle, but also like continuing to grow, you know, because, obviously, like comparing myself to when I was, you know, freshman in high school or even like in middle school, I've changed a lot and I feel like I'm a lot more confident now than I was back then, and that's just like growing up and like things that you learned from being like a little girl to a woman, you know. Yeah, I think for me, like before, I'd say, like junior year of high school, I started becoming more confident, so maybe like 16 years old, when I was younger, though, I definitely compared myself a lot to other people, and I think that comparing yourself to others is so hurtful to your mind. You know what I mean, cause I think for me, if I would compare myself to others, no one is who you are, I think, cause even you and I sisters we're not twins, but we're almost there we kind of get treated in like looped in as twins, but we're still different people and even like, maybe when I was younger, if I'd compare myself to you or like you know, maybe we're doing basketball and I'm like dang, she's better than me, or whatever it may be. No, I've done that too, especially growing up as sisters and being so close and aged Like I have definitely struggled with that growing up because I'm like, oh, like you know, this doesn't look a certain way, or like someone said this to you but not to me, or like you know, whatever the case may be, or even like a friend, maybe liking you better than me, I would get self conscious. I feel like personality wise too, because we're so different, like, but also the same at the same time. We like a lot of the same things, but our personalities are kind of polar opposites, exactly, and I feel like I'm a little bit more laid back and she's a little bit more like outgoing, but not that it's bad. I always felt like, oh, I'm not as outgoing as her, like what's wrong with me, you know, but it's okay to not be super outgoing and like or whatever it may be, whatever the difference it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think for me my biggest insecurity is actually my birthmark. So I was born with a birthmark on my leg, on both of my legs. My right leg has like the front of it is white and the back of it's white, and then the back of my left leg is white too, and this is genetic. My mom has had it, my grandpa has had it. A lot of my extended family has birthmarks and for me, my mom's birthmark went away before she met my dad. She met dad at like 19. So I'm like the day I turn 19, there's gonna be no white stuff on my leg. She was counting down the days and she's like, literally, I'm like I hope by the time I meet my boyfriend, or like my husband, I won't have my white leg.
Speaker 1:But here I am with my birthmark and from my point of view, I think it's so cool, like it makes her so unique and I feel like, especially growing up, being like younger. I'm always like, oh, like people always look at something that's different. But being different isn't bad. I feel like society thinks that, like the word different means bad, but it's not. It makes you unique and it makes you you know. And the only thing is people can tell you that over and over again, cause you've told me that my whole life, my mom's told me that my whole life, my grandpa, who's had the same thing on his leg. Everyone says that to you. But until you can become confident in yourself, it's still gonna be an insecurity For me. It's still an insecurity till this day.
Speaker 1:Like I know, when I'm in an area with a lot of kids, I'm gonna be stared at and my legs are gonna be like kind of the center of attention because I'm brown and my legs are white. You know what I mean, cause it's different and I think for me it took a lot to get to a point where I'm comfortable like showing my legs sometimes, because it's hard, like when you know people are looking at you, saying things about you or thinking things about you. Cause I know like when I was a kid, maybe like elementary school, people would be like, oh my gosh, like cow leg girl, or they'd be like, oh my gosh, did your leg get eaten by a shark, like kids are, so like they will say anything that's on the top of their head and they'll like point out anything, yeah, but I think those comments can really get to you and even as an adult now, 10 years later from when that kid said that my leg looks like a cow leg, it still affects me. You know what I mean. Like just thinking about that is hard to move past, but it's important because my insecurity my leg that's a different color than the rest of my body does not define who I am Like. My appearance and the way that I look to other people doesn't define my character, my personality, who I actually am as a person, and I feel like that's something that is tangible, that's something that I can control and who I am as a person, how I treat my family, how I treat my sister, how I treat my boyfriend those are the things that I can control and that's who I am Like being a good partner, being a good sister, being thoughtful and present and a good listener. I feel like those are things that I am. That's who I am, not my cow leg. You know what I mean. So what do you feel like has helped you realize that and kind of grow into thinking that way and being more confident in your life and being able to wear shorts yeah, I think it's still a daily thing for me.
Speaker 1:I still get self-conscious about it, I think, just knowing that it's never going to go away, like for a long time I thought it was Because it did happen to my mom and that's why I was like, oh my gosh, like I can't wait till the day that this thing gets off my leg. But it's still here. And I think probably like a year and a half ago to like a year ago is really when I sat down with myself and I was like, hey, like this is going to be on your body for the rest of your life and it's okay and it's not the end of the world. Like, if someone thinks of me different because of the way my leg looks, that's a little ridiculous. Well, that's a them problem too. Exactly, that's a them problem and I can't control that. And I think realizing that things that are out of my control are simply out of my control yeah, it's not up to me. I was just born this way. That's how I was made and that's okay, and I feel like that can be with any insecurity that you may have. You know what I mean. So that's definitely the thing for me that's so good, to not having your identity in your appearance, because that's so hard.
Speaker 1:I feel like nowadays, especially with social media and as a young girl, constantly comparing yourself to people, like how they look on Instagram, like I'm like I do this all the time, but like, just like the way you pose, yes, and things like that. Like you can make your body look a certain way on Instagram, but then in reality, like I don't look like that, right. And then same thing like, but when I'm scrolling, I'm like, oh my gosh, like why don't I look like that? And that's so hard to constantly be feeding your mind with that all the time. And then at that point it becomes a habit of constantly comparing yourself to other people and that can be so toxic to the brain, because You're constantly comparing yourself yeah, I think that that's another thing is what you view and what you listen to truly does affect your mind. Yeah, you're constantly feeding your mind with oh my gosh, this girl's so much prettier than me. And you're comparing yourself to other people. It's not healthy. It's not healthy, and even if it's your subconscious thinking that you know what I mean, because sometimes I'll be scrolling and I'm like, I think for me I've gotten to a place where I'm not comparing myself to other women.
Speaker 1:I can appreciate oh my gosh, this girl is so beautiful. I love her hair. I love her outfit. I love her style. She's like super, has a great body. She does great in the gym. I can appreciate people without tearing myself down. Another woman's beauty doesn't take away from my own, and that's for anybody out there Someone else. Being beautiful doesn't mean you're any less beautiful just because you might look different. That's not a bad thing, that's beautiful. That's what makes everyone different, I know. And because you don't look like someone else and they're super pretty does not mean that you aren't Any less pretty, exactly Because the uniqueness of everyone makes them beautiful.
Speaker 1:And next thing we want to talk about was I think Malia, you're kind of like how you were when you were a little bit younger. Yeah, I feel like growing up, especially like in middle school and a little bit of high school, is like I would compare myself, but also I felt like I was kind of a people pleaser. I cared a lot about what other people thought of me and when I actually got over that and I was like, ok, I don't really care what my friends or maybe boys thought of me. When you get over that, that's when I felt like I was kind of stepping into being more confident and being confident in myself. That's such a bad place to be in, because then you kind of do whatever you can to please somebody, or whether it's your personality, your appearance and then you end up doing things that you don't want to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember I think it was like seventh grade or sixth grade we had a group of girlfriend there was probably like six of us and we were all pretty tight. But I remember there was two girls that would constantly pick on you and they knew you were super nice and would basically do whatever because you were nice. And if they asked you to go get you water, to go get them water, you'd be like, yeah, I got you and I noticed that they were taking advantage of you and I told you I was like, hey, you shouldn't allow that anymore. Well, and that's so true, because people will take advantage of people, nice people like that, which is why you can still be a nice person, but without letting people stomp all over you and sticking up for yourself.
Speaker 1:Do you think that being a people pleaser was derived from an insecurity or do you think that was part of your personality? I think it's wanting other people to like me. So, yeah, ok, because I think it's OK to realize that not everyone's going to like you. And just because my personality again, our personalities are different Sometimes I'd notice and be like oh, they only really talk to Mackenzie but not me, like what's wrong with me, when in reality you guys just get along better. I think now I realize that, but before I was just like oh, it's a me problem, ok to not get along with everybody, it's OK to not like everybody, and for them to not like me like now I'm at a place where I don't really care. I think, too, like not everybody is going to like you, and that's something that you have to realize. And that's something that I realized as I got older was if one person has something bad to say about me, that's negative. But the majority of people that are in my life, that support me, that truly love me, like my family, know that I'm a good person. I'm comfortable with that. I don't need somebody that I just met off the street being like I don't like you, I don't like the way your hair looks. That doesn't affect me anymore, because it's more of appearance. It's like they don't know your actual character in your heart and who you are, and that's what actually matters, you know. Yeah, I think one more thing we want to talk about or there's actually two more topics for the insecurity part of this but I wanted to talk about acne.
Speaker 1:I think acne was a really big thing for probably both of us honestly, both of us but at different times. Yes, ok, so I was a freshman in sophomore when I started getting like pretty bad acne. It's funny because people always think that I have like naturally really good skin and it's genetics and I'm like no girl. I had acne and I had to go to the dermatologist and it was not always clear. So let me tell you guys what I did. So, basically, I went to the dermatologist and they put me on all these different oral pills, topical gels, creams the whole nine. So they put me on everything and my acne got really bad, like way worse, and there's like a 60 day period where your skin is kind of like doesn't get a flare up and then it adjusts to the medication. That's what it is. Yeah, so that period sucks because you're like, ok, I just spent this money at the dermatologist and now my skin looks worse than it was.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think when that happened, I went from having like fungal acne, basically like very tiny little bumps on my forehead, to a ton of hormonal acne on my cheeks, and they were super red, super pigmented and something that I couldn't hide. And I remember, like we would always go to the gym and I'd be like, ok, well, I can't show my face, it's so red, there's so many bumps and it was something that I was honestly like very self-conscious about and, even though people probably didn't even look at it and care people aren't even looking at you, people aren't even looking at me Yet it still affects me that much and that's OK. I feel like we all have days or periods of times For me it was 60 days of like terrible, terrible acne. But yeah, so I would just put on makeup, like before we would go to the gym, before we would go to work, and I would just cover it up, and I would usually never wear makeup to the gym. So it was like very different for me because I always knew that with the type of acne I had, it was not good to wear makeup with it. So I would never wear makeup to the gym because of that reason.
Speaker 1:But my acne got so bad that I was like I have to put on some concealer here, concealer there, and so I did that for a period of time. But I think that was something that made me feel more confident and that was a little extra concealer and that was fine. It made me feel a little bit more confident for the time being, and it wasn't a forever thing. But even little things like that that do help you, that at least you can get to the gym, at least you can get to work and you're not super self-conscious all day. Thinking about that I feel like those things are important too, just the little tiny things that you can control, because you can control your skin flaring up for 60 days because of a new prescription, the medication, right, yeah. So after the 60 days it actually ended up going away and I've been using basically the same stuff since then.
Speaker 1:But yeah, oh man. Yeah, I mean it's hard because I love makeup Even before, because when I had acne too, that was my go-to. Obviously I would just kick on the makeup and I'd be good to go, but I still like makeup. Now I feel like a lot of people think makeup is only for covering up insecurities on your face, but I feel like it's a way to enhance your beauty. Yeah, and that's how I look at it. Obviously, I have dark circles under my eyes that I want to cover up. There's always something that I would want to change. And expressing yourself artistically too, I feel like makeup can be used for anything.
Speaker 1:The actual process of it, yeah, yeah, for sure, I enjoyed a lot, but I think more so because you didn't have acne when you were young. No, I actually. My skin was really, really good and up until I started taking a lot of vitamins that my doctor prescribed for me just for other health issues we talked about in the past or previous episode, but it made me flare up a lot and I got a lot of kind of like almost cystic acne where it was like really deep-rooted pimples and it was definitely hormonal. So it was something that like, if I didn't take my vitamins, my skin would clear up, but then, as soon as I started taking them, I'd get a flare up and then I'd be like OK, well, obviously I need to take my vitamins to feel good, but that means I have to sacrifice having acne Right. That's something that for me, was a little challenging, because obviously it's something on your face that you can't get rid of. And same thing with other appearances.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was younger, especially in middle school, I hated my nose. I don't know why, but I was always like I hate my nose, I don't like it. And I feel like, growing up now I'm like OK, this is the nose that God gave me and it's a part of me, like that's, you know, yeah, yeah, I think with time too, as you grow up, a lot of those things just kind of start to click. Like over time it's like OK, I've looked at this. You know, for me, my birthmark. I've looked at this birthmark every day for the past 19 years, yeah, and I'm OK with it. Now, same thing with, probably, your nose. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:The crazy thing is, too, everyone is their worst critic. Oh, yeah, no one notices the things that you notice. It's like my nose. Probably no one noticed it, but for me I was like it was the end of the world when I was nine, because I've always thought that you had the cutest nose, like it's so cute. So, yeah, I think you're totally right with that. I think everyone, like you said, is their worst critic. Yeah, like, even in the gym too, with, like, your body image and stuff like that. Like, obviously, there's things that I always want to work on in my body. I'm like, oh, I'm never satisfied.
Speaker 1:You know and I think that's the constant thing is like us, as humans, are never satisfied with how we look. Yeah, yeah, and we're hyper fixated on it like 24-7. I mean, I know, when Malia and I used to be heavy gym rats, I mean we were, yeah, that's true. Yeah, this was, if you guys saw last week's episode we got taken out of school and we did online school for three years and when we were doing online school, we were grounded. We weren't allowed to do pretty much anything. So we went to work and we went to the gym like two times a day. We would spend like two, maybe three hours in the gym.
Speaker 1:I was ripped, like I was. I had really good muscle definition and that was even then I still hyper fixated on things that I was like, ok, I want this to change, I want this to change, I want this to go, I want this to come. You know what I mean. Yeah, like you're never satisfied with, like, how you look. And looking back now I'm like Mackenzie I wish I looked like my 16-year-old rip self. You know what I mean, right? Yeah, so you're always kind of wishing for something you didn't have. You know what I mean? Yeah. And once you get to that point where you can kind of accept, I think for me the gym and like body image has been a big, a big more of like a recent I feel like insecurity Just because of how lean we were and how muscular we were. Especially looking back on photos of my younger self and I'm comparing myself to like 16-year-old me and obviously, too, that's something that I want to work on as well, because I just need to have that dedication again of like actually going, but knowing that I don't have to look the same way I did. Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And there's always, I think, for me too, after I was in a relationship, because I've been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years, a little over two and a half years. When I first met him, I was like ugh Jack, like I was not Jack, but I was like very lean and now I've probably put on like 20 pounds. Honestly, like since we've been in the relationship and you look great, but I'm like I'm a little thicker and I feel like that can kind of get into your mind too. And even when I'm in the gym, same with me. Because we moved out, like about a year ago, a little over a year ago From our parents' house and I used to eat so good, and then moving out was definitely kind of a wake up call, because I definitely started eating out more and I noticed I started to gain weight as well and I'm like, dang, I don't know it's a big change.
Speaker 1:But also looking at myself and being like, oh, I don't look like how I used to, and then also knowing that I do have to, or I want to eat healthy, yeah, and exercise and change those things, yeah. But yeah, exercising makes me feel super confident, not in the way of like obviously I want to work on my body, but mentally too, I feel like it's a great de-stressor and I just feel good afterwards. Yeah, I always have after I run. I used to run track, but now when I run I'm like, oh my gosh, runner's high is a real thing, because I usually don't really like running. But if I'm sprinting and I'm doing interval sprints, after I'm done I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to do that more. Yeah, like I always am. Like, oh, I missed that, I wish I did that more. So then we actually start doing it, we actually start putting it in the work. So, yeah, I think that was another big thing. Should we get into the questions? Yes, let's do it. Ooh, OK. So these are actually not questions. These are ways that you guys said that you feel the most confident. I'm so excited to go over these and see what makes you guys feel confident.
Speaker 1:I'm sure we'll relate to a lot of the little things that y'all said. So the first thing is I was super insecure growing up in a predominantly white area, but realizing God made me this way and loves me like this made me realize I can love myself Also going on social media and seeing beautiful black women oh, I love that. I love that. I love that. Oh, I can definitely relate to that. We can both relate.
Speaker 1:We went to school in I think there was 2,000 kids. There was 10, maybe 20 people of color, like I'm talking all colors, like all ethnicities, yeah, all races, yeah, so there wasn't a lot of us. Yeah, I think in our grade there was not a lot, that's all I have to say, but it was definitely a challenge, even with our hair. Yeah, everyone had straight hair. Yeah, and that was something that I struggled with. Well, we both struggled with was I always felt like I had to straighten my hair because no one else had curly hair and also I didn't even know how to do my curly hair. So for me it was easier just to straighten it and be like OK, well, I'll just look like everyone else and plus people commenting on it too. Like if I were to wear my hair curly, they'd be like oh, why is it so frizzy? You look like a lion. I'm like, ok, well, I guess we'll just straighten my hair again. Let me go home really quick and get a flat iron. Yeah, yeah, I think hair is a big thing, and also, too, the color of our skin.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of people at our school would be kind of racist. I'm not going to lie, kind of is an understatement. Yeah, like people literally would call us the N word every day at school. Crazy thing is too. Obviously now we'd handle it a lot differently.
Speaker 1:But especially being young and in such a minority, there's no one else to be like, hey, that's not cool to say that, right? So no one's sticking up for you. And then I didn't have the balls to stick up for myself either, because I remember like, oh, you're being so overdramatic, like just get over it, Just take a joke. Yeah, and they'd always played off as, oh, it's a joke. But I'm like, okay, it's not funny anymore. It wasn't funny the first time. No one thought it was funny, maybe except for you. So, yeah, that's what I? Oh, I don't even know that's so. Other topic I don't even know how to give advice on that, like, if you're in that situation now, especially if you're like 10 out of the 2000. You know what I mean, because, if I know, we had other friends, like one of our guy friends. He was on the basketball team. I felt so bad for him, yeah, and he was mixed too and oh my gosh, like he would just Get grilled every single day. Get grilled every single day.
Speaker 1:And I'm like you can't change your skin color, right? I was born like this. Yeah, like this is. This is my skin I'm, I love it, I am so happy with the way that I am.
Speaker 1:And if someone has a problem with me because of my skin color, next, it's hard to be around a majority of people that are like, oh, you know, we don't like you because of the color of your skin. Yeah, we're like, we're gonna make fun of you because of the color of your skin. And it wasn't necessarily like our entire school, it was like the same people every day. So, you know, maybe that wasn't the entire school being like, oh my gosh, calling us the N word, but it was the same people every day. Quite a few people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's not, let's not undermine that. Actually, yeah, so, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think, ah, yeah, I don't know, yeah, that's hard. I mean, I feel like the main thing is, like we were saying in the beginning, is just being confident in yourself and but also not caring what other people think. Yeah, it's hard, though it's a skin color, though that's really, really hard, because obviously that's, like you know, a racism problem, oh my gosh. And even like I think now we choose who we surround ourselves with. Yeah, I don't hang out with racist people, and that's that's so hard in school too, because when you are around a majority of people that you know maybe don't look like you and also like point out the differences, it's hard, yeah, I think what the question or what their answer kind of said was like realizing, accepting, like for who God made them as, and even on social media too.
Speaker 1:I think that's such a cool thing, because social media can be toxic, but seeing other people that look like you on there and just kind of like embracing that is so cool, especially when you don't see that in your day to day life. Right Like for us, like growing up, and only seeing like people who are white, but then going on social media and be like, oh my gosh, someone has curly hair too. Yeah, I can relate with this person. We learned how to do our curly hair because we had no idea, but when we started to like research on YouTube and like other platforms, that's when we really started to embrace our girls. We're like, oh my gosh, like they can actually look good. Yes, you know. Yes, so it's cool and that aspect of social media is really really helpful because there's so many different kinds of people and you can learn so much.
Speaker 1:I love it. I love it. I'm so glad that we're in a place, like you said, with my, like our younger sister yeah, sometimes I don't know what type of advice to give her with like dealing with the race thing. Yeah, because when you're surrounded by those people and you can't remove yourself from the situation, it makes the problem a little bit harder. Versus Malia and I situation, we work from home and we're not in school right now, so we don't have to surround ourselves with people that we don't feel like need to be in our life. You know what I mean? Yeah, like from people from high school that are racist, I don't talk to them, I don't hang around them, like it's just simple. I just don't hang around them anymore and that's that. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:I remember one time we went to our friend's like birthday party, and this was like a year ago. Oh, I was two years ago, two years ago, so like we were already like out of high school, we had graduated, and we went to like a little birthday party thing and it was with like everyone we went to high school with, but it was our friend's birthday. We pull up it's me, malia and our friend, who's also mixed. We're all just standing in the corner and like what the heck is going on. It was so awkward. No one would talk to us. It was very weird, like standoffish.
Speaker 1:I was like what the heck is going on? And I'm like we do know you guys, like you can say hi, like what's up? Guys, like it's been a minute, but I still like remember you, like we still know each other kind of, and it was just so weird, yeah. And then that one kid that was always really racist, yeah, played freaking people in Paris and yeah, and then he was like who's in Paris? And I'm like, nah, it's time to be quiet now. It's okay, it's time to be quiet. We're gonna leave, okay. Next next one that was okay, let's do one.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I'm like this is enough of that, yeah, okay, um, when I get ready with my friends and we do our makeup together, that makes me feel safe and confident. Oh, that makes me so happy for you, especially friends that are uplifting and like are rooting for you, and just like a good environment, even just like a good influence, a good environment Like that is so important when all the energy is right and everyone is uplifting each other. Yeah, if you feel safe with your friends and that makes you feel confident. I am so happy for you. That's such a good place to be in. Yeah, because there's, I feel like it's true in the sense where, like you could only have like one to two good, really good, friends for life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, and I feel like you found your friends and even like, being around negative energy and people that are always, you know, down themselves, like sometimes can make you feel the same way. That is so true and I can totally weigh on how you feel, because I've had friends like that, where they're always constantly negative, pointing out the negative things all the time, and it's like that can be draining, yes for sure, especially when it's constant. Yes, yeah, because obviously, like everyone can feel down every once in a while and like that's okay, obviously we're human. But like when it's a constant thing, that's hard to be around.
Speaker 1:I think I think for me what I've realized with friendships and the energy change I noticed that if I go into a setting with friends and my energy is super draining and I feel almost sad when I leave, then that's not a good situation for me to be in and that's not a healthy relationship or that's not a healthy group of friends for me to surround myself with, because I'm not feeling, you know, the same as when I walked in, or even uplifted. I love surrounding myself with powerful women and people who everyone uplifts each other and everyone's kind of like minded too. You know, I know we're talking about confidence, and I feel like comparing and insecurities go hand in hand. I feel like we're now in a place like, as we're becoming adults, it's so beautiful to see people not comparing each other and just lifting everybody up, because I feel like that's a change that I've seen in so many of our friends that we've made this like past two years. No one compares each other, no one compares themselves to one another. It's, oh my gosh, you're doing so good and I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'm at a different place in my life, but that's okay, right? We're not even talking about looks or anything like that, but even stages in life I know for, like Malia and I even comparing ourselves for, like not going to college, like that definitely made me insecure for a while and people would make comments and it would totally affect me, because I'm like, okay, in my mind I thought I was doing something wrong, but I realized Because everyone painted it as like, oh, you're going to be a failure if you don't go to college and that's the only way out. Like that's the only way to be successful. And I think for Malia and I, once we started doing social media and we're freaking so blessed to like be able to call this our job. That's crazy to me and I'll never take that for granted, because it's a dream like to work with you too. It's working with my sister, my best friend. Like I'll never take that for granted.
Speaker 1:But I think once we got to a place where I wasn't insecure anymore, those comments of people saying like you're going to be a failure if you're not going to college didn't upset me anymore. You just pushed them aside. I mean, like whatever, I think we were so lucky too because our parents were super supportive, yeah, and like having them in the back, just like cheering us on, yeah, and I mean our dad's an entrepreneur, so like he, he doesn't see college as like the only way. Obviously, college is there if we want to. Very beneficial, it is beneficial, but like it's not the route for everybody. You know, and it could be the route for me in the future. Right, if I want to go to college tomorrow I can sign myself up. You know what I mean. Like it's always going to be there and I think that we took the opportunity that we had at the time and we ran with it and we did make a business out of it, which is crazy, but, yeah, I think, also like knowing that you don't have to compare yourself to others. Crazy, because it literally can be any aspect of life.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, okay, the next one, starting an actual skincare routine, for some reason, made me feel so much more confident. Oh, yes, I love this. I love this, especially like self care. I can totally relate to this. But, like, especially on a Sunday, kind of like prepping for the week, yes, I feel super confident when I'm like let's take care of my skin. Let's do a little like a skin to hair mask. Let's do you know whitening strips, all that type of.
Speaker 1:Let's paint the nails yeah, even I think, too, like things can get expensive, especially in beauty. Right, like getting your nails and your toes done a mani petty right now $150 before take, what the heck is that? Yeah, that's actually why I remember when, like in high school, I could get them done a manicure for probably 30 bucks 30 obviously not tip included. But like 30 flat, like that's. That's pretty good, but $150 for a mani petty, that's a buck. That's a buck right there. So get yourself some Essie nail polish and paint your nails at home. You know what I mean. So, like whatever makes you feel confident and makes you feel like you're doing like a full on self care day. Right, paint your nails at home, do your, do your pedicure at home and do those whitening strips, do it.
Speaker 1:I just like taking care of yourself and I honestly really like style. I feel like style when I have a good fit on. I feel super confident. When I go out, even I look put together, like even, like I just naturally want to like make a fit and put it together because I like to do it and it's fun. But then also, when I go out, I feel good and I know that I look good too. So I'm like oh, like I feel more confident. I feel more confident that way. Yeah, even in the gym too, like when I have. Sometimes I'm like, okay, I don't want to go to the gym. Then I put on my gym and I'm like okay, dude, I'm ready for the gym. That's how I put myself up to go, because I'll be so lazy and I'll be like, oh, I don't want to go to the gym at all, like I, I'm tired, and all of a sudden I put on the fit, okay, I'm like, okay, I have to go now. Like I put on the cute little outfit, it's time set. Or actually the Amazon set. Amazon has gotten so good with the, the dupes on there. I know it's insane. I know so many good stuff that are like basically the same quality for like half the price. It's basically like a pre-workout. Put on that gym fit. Yeah, ready to go, you're ready, you're ready. No, that's I can relate to, okay.
Speaker 1:Next thing someone said that makes them feel confident is realizing there will never be another me Period, literally. Oh my gosh, okay. I think that's something that comes with time and that's also like not comparing yourself to others, when you realize that no one else is you and just like your actual, like your heart and soul and things that you actually care about and how you present and represent yourself. Yes, even like the things that you've been through, I feel like your past can you know, affect and change who you are for the good, for the bad, whatever that may be but like no one has been through and walked in your shoes before, right, and that's also what makes you you know, and it's so cool too, cause, especially when I was younger, I feel like the things that I went through, even though it was bad, made me into I can't I can't talk, made me into who I am today, and I feel like that's so precious, because sometimes you need bad things in your life to create the person you are today. Yeah, yeah for sure.
Speaker 1:I feel like I've grown a lot just in, even like I went to therapy, like a year ago, and we were talking about, like, our childhood and a lot of different like aspects of us growing up, and I remember her pointing out like oh, that probably affected how you make friends now, right, like how your relationships are now, and I'm like I never thought about that before, but it's like no one's been through the exact same things you've been through, right, so it's not fair to compare yourself to others. No, and it's so crazy that, like the way you grew up and how things happen in your life make who you are today. We were actually homeschooled when we were little and I feel like our parents did a really good job of like making sure that we respected authority and had good character and respected other people. I feel like they really like nurtured that in us, also really made me value just people in general, and I appreciate that. Well, it's cool because after seeing that, like how our mom did that and working at a daycare too, you see what discipline and like not disciplining your kids does, and it made me realize like when I become a mom and a parent, like I want to value that so much Like character, especially at a young age, like one, two, three, all the way up to, like you know, your 10. Like those are really like crucial, important years where if you don't kind of hone in on that like your kids are going to turn out crazy and they're not going to respect authority, they're going to be easily influenced. I remember, like you said, working at the daycare. I was in the year and a half year old room for like two years, so I was with the one and a half year olds and I remember you can just see the difference in the parents.
Speaker 1:Like let's say, one of the kids does something bad that day I would tell the parent because you have to Like let's just say, someone bit somebody else. I'd be like, hey, like you know, young Pablo bit our friend and we can't do that, we can't bite our friends, and the parents, like my son, would never do that. Pablo would never bite another kid. And I would say I'm like, ok, everyone messes up your kid is not the best thing in the world. We all make mistakes, it's OK, and we can realize that and move forward and that's going to be OK. And their kids, like if I was a parent, I wouldn't put anything past my kid. I'm sorry. I'm like OK, like if you did it, yeah, ok, pablo probably did bite his friend and you know what, we're going to go home and he's going to sit in timeout for a minute. Right, you know, I feel like discipline does a lot, especially at a young age, and I'm glad that our parents kind of instilled that in us and being able to respect authority, like we were saying.
Speaker 1:So I don't know how we got on that tangent. Yeah, that was such like a random little like spiral. See, guys, this is why I don't know Kensi and I will get off track so quickly. Pablo, like, where did that come from? I don't know. Ok, next, ok, so the last. I guess what scenario or what would you say? Scenario? Question like answer OK, I guess the last answer for how y'all feel the most confident on the day today is getting my hair done or getting braids.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I can relate. I love getting braids, I love switching it up, like whenever I get a fresh, like especially the Fulani braids. When I get the Fulani braids, the blonde Fulani braids I feel like a new woman. Yes, I'm like. Oh, I'm blonde. Especially like changing your parents. I can agree to that because it's so fun and it's just like keeping your look fresh, doing something new. Yeah, yeah, you're just like. You kind of look different in a way, but in a good way. I feel like things like that that are tangible, physical, that you can change every now and again, is so fun Because it's like OK, this will make me feel better for the time being.
Speaker 1:I feel like becoming more confident is an every single day journey, so maybe that won't help you forever, like, obviously you can't get new braids every day, you know, unless you're a pro at braiding, which I congratulate you if you can do your own braids. That'd be crazy, because I wish I could. But the short term, making you feel confident, that's so good to have like your go-to thing, like if you're ever feeling like, oh, just having a bad day. You're like, ok, wait, let me set up my braiding appointment. Yeah, that'll make me feel better, that'll make me feel like a little me day, you know. Yeah, let me have some half-baked ice cream, that'll make me feel better. I don't know about you, that's my go-to comfort food from Ben and Jerry's. Yeah, that's my favorite one. But I feel like having those little things that can help you on those bad days and then still having those steps to getting to the bigger picture of becoming the confident person, independent person that you want to be. And I think it's a continual journey, exactly Because I feel like, even now we all struggle every day, but it might look different than what's five years ago. Right, I think, as long as you can realize and acknowledge that you've started somewhere. But you're growing, yes, and fixing your mistakes, even just with whatever that may be. That is so beneficial, yeah, because that's how you become a better person through time. So, yeah, but I guess that's pretty much it for today's episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys so much for tuning in. This was such a good episode. I enjoyed it a lot. I felt like it was very therapeutic. I'm just like, wow, yeah, I'm glad we talked about it. This is such an important topic. I feel like becoming confident is a part of maturing and growing up and becoming a woman to a young adult. It's so important and I'm so glad we got to talk about it today. I know I'm sure we'll have more episodes like this, but this was super fun.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys so much for watching or listening. I keep forgetting that this isn't YouTube. So I'm like OK, but you guys will be able to watch it if you want to on YouTube, but we also have it on Spotify and Apple. But podcasts, yeah, make sure to follow us on Biggsys Energy with two Ys on Instagram to stay updated with all of the episodes so you don't miss one, and on TikTok. And then also follow our personal TikTok, mckenzie, malia and our Instagrams as well kenziegrace underscore and malialexis underscore. And that is it for this week. Peace, bye the 1000. 100 percent.