VOICENOTES FROM THE EDGE: Parenting, Burnout, And The Blur Between ADHD And Everyday Overload

We share a listener’s voice note about burnout, PDA-like reactions, and the messy overlap between ADHD traits and the weight of modern caregiving. We trade stories of lost tickets, spare keys, and the quiet power of community when life keeps moving.

• neurotypical versus neurodivergent traits under stress
• workplace overload colliding with home demands
• PDA resonance and reacting to constant asks
• executive function strain and memory slips
• food, water, and sleep as cognitive fuel
• loneliness, relocation, and finding companionship in podcasts
• the care load of modern motherhood and systemic pressures
• simple supports and boundaries that protect bandwidth

Please keep voice notes coming. The number is zero seven three zero eight four five zero. Oh zero oh three seven

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Listener Voice Note
• 1:19 Neurotypical Traits Versus ADHD
• 3:31 Work Stress, Burnout, And Home Overwhelm
• 6:16 Parenting Demands And PDA Resonance
• 11:20 Community, Loneliness, And Podcast Companionship
• 13:10 Lost Keys, Lost Tickets, And Lived Chaos
• 15:03 Modern Motherhood, Care Load, And Systemic Pressures
• 20:10 Tech Hiccup And Closing CTA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:24

We're the ADHD moms. We shout that bit like we're in another room. I'm Claire and I'm Chen. Hope that didn't hurt you.

SPEAKER_01: 0:36

We're back with another voice note from the edge. Voice note found the edge. Thank you, listener, for sending us this voice note. Yes. I have not yet listened. Claire has pre-listened to the first bit, I think.

SPEAKER_00: 0:52

I've listened with half an ear. Trying to keep it fresh. Trying to check it. I listened to it while I was doing five other things. That's the way.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02

But now.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03

Are we are we naming this person or is this a non? This is S.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08

I think. I believe. Hey S. Now, S. You are gonna have our full undivided attention. Yes. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_02: 1:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17

Let's go in.

SPEAKER_02: 1:18

Do it. I'm a longtime listener, first time caller. And I do not consider myself to be neurodiverse. Don't have a diagnosis. But I listen to your podcast all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 1:35

Well, we don't discriminate here, do we? Oh, welcome. Yeah, everybody in. Neurotypical's allowed. Although, let's see.

SPEAKER_02: 1:47

Um, and because I I might not or I might be considered neurotypical, but I do have a human brain that reacts as a human brain does to situations through a kind of background career and lifestyle of skipping meals, skipping snacks, skipping water, skipping sleeping. I'd say I've challenged my brain as much as you can. And so whilst if I look back at my achievements, you know, I don't and I couldn't be considered to be neurodiverse.

SPEAKER_00: 2:30

No es you can't really measure your your neurotypicality uh on your achievements because there are some very high-functioning ADHDs amongst us. Well not amongst the infamous You may be one of us. Some people say. Yeah, again, we we not we, but we.

SPEAKER_02: 3:05

Um, I think when all of those things go together, the lack of sleep, the lack of food, my brain is completely chaotic, and I can uh relate to a lot of the things that um you both talk about in your podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 3:21

Yeah, well, you know, the thing with ADHD and like diagnosis of it is people can have a lot of traits of ADHD, can't they? But it's actually caused by other things like stress or but it's when it's like severely affecting your life and you've got a lot of the traits that you're gonna get the diagnosis, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 3:42

Persistent and pervasive traits, isn't it? That affect that negatively impact your life and have done for long term.

SPEAKER_02: 3:51

And I've been thinking about it a lot recently in terms of how my brain reacts with my partner's brain and my children's brain in our relationships, because there's certain things that I don't react well with, and I've been trying to think about how to do it better. So, one example is and I your episode on PDA, I just finished, and I was like, oh my god, that so that expla that describes me so well in so many ways. Um I think because in my previous career, I chose a career that was very demanding. I had constant I had people coming from all different areas saying, I need this, I need this, help me with this, help me with this. And I could react to it because I could pause and say, You do this, stop, you do this, stop. But it was extremely challenging and it was 24-7. And at home, I come home after a long day. We all have long days, but I come home after a long day. My partner will be saying one thing. The kids are both talking at the same time. I'm like, right, one at a time. I can't do everything at the same time. Obviously, the kids don't listen. And my partner's like, well, if I wait for them to be quiet, we'll never talk.

SPEAKER_00: 5:11

Oh my god. That sounds like myself within your voice. Oh, it sounds like so much.

SPEAKER_01: 5:18

Oh god, I know that feeling so well. The two kids talking at the same time. Yeah, obviously, they're not gonna listen. And that thing of like, well, if I don't speak now, we're never gonna get to talk. I remember that with my when I last lived with a partner with one kid, yeah, with one toddler. Yeah, it was like I remember that feeling of like a thirst for us being able to like exchange any information, even because it was just constant.

SPEAKER_00: 5:47

Yeah, fucking hell. And this is like so many demands upon you.

SPEAKER_01: 5:53

Well, coming home to that from the the work environment that she's described sounds, I would be living in burnout.

SPEAKER_00: 6:01

Yeah, definitely burnout situation there for me.

SPEAKER_02: 6:05

And that is something that I really struggle with. Uh and so your your discussing PDA made me think, God, that really resonates. And I think in terms of how I parent and you know, requiring everyone to come to me with come to me with one complaint and I fix it, and we set it down, and then I pick up your next complaint and I fix it. I got you the milk, I'll get you the book, I'll fix this. No, that's broken, we've got to throw it away, we'll buy a new one in the shop. I need problems to be presented to me one by one, which is obviously not how parenting is, and so I get completely overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_01: 6:49

Yeah, would that it were a one-by-one thing. Like again, I'm relating hard to this listener for the fact that she's got two children, like it's the the constantness of a child's demands in stereo, but it's not it's not a duet. It's two separate tunes playing all the time, one in each ear.

SPEAKER_00: 7:11

Like I don't have two children, but I have an ND partner and ND child, and them being aware of like boundaries with each other, with me, of like it's weird, like I can get like demand and demand as well. Yeah. And it's interesting that you found like the PDA episode like very relatable. Yeah. Because um even like mothers who consider themselves neurotypical or are neurotypical, the demands that are placed upon a mother, especially a working mother who's had demands all day, comes home, got it's a lot, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 7:53

Yes, and uh I think anyone listening could see why you might want to avoid some of the demands as your day wears off.

SPEAKER_00: 8:00

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02: 8:02

But yeah, I just wanted to say that a lot of what you describe in your podcast may be considered pathological by you, by society, by whoever, but I certainly think that I have a lot of the same traits. Um and certainly when my brain is well rested, well fed, it can behave and do everything that society expects of it. Respond to emails, pay bills. But when I don't treat my brain and my body well, I'm pretty functionally crippled.

SPEAKER_00: 8:44

This is what we're always saying, isn't it? It's not just about having ADHD, being a mum, being a parent is like d one of the hardest jobs anyone can do. So yeah, and and unrelentingly so. And she's you know, she's mentioning about like being hydrated, being fed, all that. These are things that as ADHD people we forget to do ourselves. Yeah. Um and she's showing that she considers herself neurotypical, but she is also doing those things just because she's a working mum.

SPEAKER_01: 9:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 9:23

And it does uh show like that we need to look after ourselves like physically.

SPEAKER_01: 9:30

Yeah, and it's hard to hear, isn't it? Someone who's like potentially got the resources to to provide that self-care because of not like struggling maybe with like forgetting or the same reasons we struggle to give ourselves that sort of like proper care.

SPEAKER_00: 9:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 9:47

Of of thinking the way she's talking about her brain, her body, what it needs, she knows what it needs, but she's not managing to all the time just because of the demands of her life, as you say, as a working mum.

SPEAKER_02: 10:00

Yeah. And another thing I wanted to say while I'm just bored and charging my car. It's been really a really funny full circle, you and Claire, because when you first started doing the podcast, I'd left to your new city and didn't have any friends. And listening to you guys just felt like I was hanging out with friends, and it it was lovely, but it did feel like I was just I don't know, treating loneliness with your podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 10:28

Oh my god! How wonderful! This is this is what we do it for because we want to have a connection for people out there, and yeah, that's bloody lovely.

SPEAKER_01: 10:40

I mean, obviously, like we are like it's a niche, it's a niche specialism, and we're hoping we were hoping to provide that for that niche of people's experience, but it's lovely to hear that it's just been relatable for this listener through it.

SPEAKER_00: 10:57

Definitely, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 10:59

And then you had your break, and I settled down in my new place, and I've just uprooted the family again, and we've moved again, and you've brought your podcast back. So I just wanted to say thank you because you're keeping me company on the second big move that I've done. And yeah, until we get settled and find friends, putting on your podcast is really um necessary.

SPEAKER_00: 11:29

Oh I love that. Yeah, that's so gorgeous, and we're so glad that you're listening and thank you for connecting with us.

SPEAKER_01: 11:40

Yeah, absolutely. Um and I I fully know what you're on about. Like I I love me podcasts, me too. I feel so like you know recharged by listening to some of those some of those familiar voices, and just that you know that there's a certain type that I like, yeah. To be honest, it's people conversing and being honest, yeah, being real. Um so but yeah, it's lovely that we can be that.

SPEAKER_00: 12:08

I first got into podcasts when I was first in hospital.

SPEAKER_01: 12:12

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:12

And it would keep me going, you know, and I'll have loads to listen to when I go into hospital next. It's like it's like you're listening to your friends and it's lovely.

SPEAKER_01: 12:23

Yeah, my main um first podcasting like thing was when I was like trying to get to grips with my house after I'd kind of ended up creating a home out of no stuff at all, a new start, and then getting all my stuff back from my previous home from my kid's dad. Yeah. Eventually, remember I was in this chaos zone of like way too much stuff in the house, and so I was going through series and series of days where I was focused on like house saving, really, and that was mine.

SPEAKER_00: 12:57

I had my podcasts on, and um it's like you've got company, human connections, yeah, isn't it? Um totally get that, and so glad we could do that for you.

SPEAKER_01: 13:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 13:08

Whilst I was driving, I thought of two other things to tell you.

SPEAKER_01: 13:10

Are we sure we haven't got the ADHD?

SPEAKER_02: 13:15

Um, I've just checked into my hotel and the woman gave me a ticket and said, Don't lose it. It's to get out of the car park.

SPEAKER_00: 13:25

My PDA would be like, fuck you, bitch. I'll lose it if I want. And then I'd lose it.

SPEAKER_02: 13:33

And I thought, right, okay. And I put it away. And then I said, What happens if I do lose it? She said, take a picture of it. So I tried to find it to take a picture of it, but I'd lost it. And then I find it and I took a picture of it, and then I've just come up to my room and tried to find it again, and I've lost it.

SPEAKER_00: 13:50

Hey, join the gang.

SPEAKER_01: 13:56

Well, neurotypical or not, can see why you find a home, I've found a home with oil.

SPEAKER_02: 14:03

And my partner told me a few months ago, and I keep thinking of this and laughing, but I he'd given me the car key and I'd lost it immediately. I'd put it in a special zipped pocket and forgot. And he said, Nana, don't worry, I never give you the key without having the spare one.

SPEAKER_00: 14:22

Sounds like he's you've got the right idea to be fair. Yeah, sounds like your partner is quite aware of your treats. Yeah, I I could do with someone who's always got a spare key. My me and my Andy partner share a key between us. It does cut. Yes, it does cut.

SPEAKER_01: 14:46

What is the excuse for this? It's a special weird key, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00: 14:49

Yeah, you can't get a cuff and you have to go through the management company. So it requires executive function uh more than two steps in the process.

SPEAKER_02: 14:58

Anyway, I'm in my hotel right now and I need to get onto American time. So I've had a coffee and had lots of sweets. So I'm gonna try and stay up for a few hours. Uh see you later. Hope your child is asleep.

SPEAKER_00: 15:14

Yay! For sweets.

SPEAKER_01: 15:18

Yeah, I was feeling that for the coffee and the coffee. I was like, sugar and coffee are favourite things. She said America.

SPEAKER_00: 15:27

She must have said that at night time, saying, I hope your kids are asleep.

SPEAKER_01: 15:33

But they're not, they're not asleep right now, are they? Because we're in the afternoon right now, they're in school, they're in the captivity of the school grounds.

SPEAKER_00: 15:43

Well, what a lovely message for us um from our neurotypical friends. Yes, but that this just goes to show how neurotypical is probably not the right word to use because yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 15:59

The neurological experience within that is so akin to what we put down to, as she's pointed out, pathological things. Yeah. But yeah, I love this. I love this um opportunity to reflect on like what really where does the diagnostic thing start and end? This is just we're all just humans experiencing, and there's so much commonality in what we're experiencing.

SPEAKER_00: 16:31

Um and I think especially as as mums, working mums in particular, like the demand upon you on a day-to-day basis is ridiculous, and a lot of people are just living in burnout on that.

SPEAKER_01: 16:47

It's unsustainable, isn't it? It's a new it's a new thing still in terms of evolution. Like we don't know how to perform at this level.

SPEAKER_00: 16:57

Someday this capitalist nightmare must end. This capitalist nightmare must end, yeah. Like got car marks on me my shoulder, yeah. But it's true, and I think you know, since the feminist revolution, women coming into the workplace, everyone having to work, the children having to be cared for. It's just since the children having to be cared for. Well, then what I mean is like when my mum came into the workplace in the 70s and 80s, they were just have the child. Well, no, they just kind of leave us at home with the telly, remember?

SPEAKER_01: 17:40

Oh god, yeah, of course. And before that, but now we're actually trying to care for yeah, before that was the much healthier version of like that we've talked about that they were all like up and down the back alley with an older bunch of kids dragging other babies round in a pram and that they were all just a community of kids, they were part of the village.

SPEAKER_00: 17:58

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, it's fucking difficult times for everyone.

SPEAKER_01: 18:04

And this listener, like relocating several times with a what sounds like a young family, um, a part like like we we've acknowledged running a home with like kids is enormously exhausting. It's so many tasks upon tasks, so is keeping a relationship going. Yeah. So doing them both at once, like obviously, we've talked a fair bit about a single mum stuff, but being a mum who's keeping a you know a relationship going as well, obviously you understand all about that still.

SPEAKER_00: 18:40

Yeah. But I have a fairly non-demanding partner, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 18:44

But then also constantly going through relocation, which we know is an extreme strain. It's isn't it counted as the second, the second most stressful life event after divorce or something?

SPEAKER_00: 18:56

Something like that.

SPEAKER_01: 18:57

So relocating twice, it sounds like she's travelling with work.

SPEAKER_00: 19:01

Yeah, it's that's a lot. It's tough, and and we've gotta recognise this that we struggle a lot because we're ADHD mums, but just being a mum in this modern age in itself is really difficult.

SPEAKER_01: 19:16

Yes, and for our non-mum listeners, because I know there are some. Yeah. Like it's it this is like the many strands that plait together to form the experience that me and Claire have in common that we tend to focus on.

SPEAKER_00: 19:29

But you know, being neurodivergent or being female, to be honest, there's just so many different threads of like it's a hard time to be alive, and we have to look for the little bits of joy that we can find, and one of them is community and friendship, and so we're really glad that you got in touch with us, you've shared with us that we helped you in a time when you're feeling lonely, and we're glad that you're part of our community.

SPEAKER_01: 20:01

Exactly, and you made us laugh, and it's talking too, it's talking, just being honest about your things, being able to laugh it off, being able No, I haven't watched film club guys. We have just had a white knuckle ride. Claire's there as he's rolling some sort of combo of tarot cards and Jimmy Cork, but she's just casually saved this whole entire production.

SPEAKER_00: 20:30

Yeah, we had a dramatic moment there, didn't we? Dramatic dramatic.

SPEAKER_01: 20:35

Claire's just told me to fix this hair dramatic problem on my um laptop. Yeah. Wow, girl. Yeah. So we were mid, we were mid-chat then, we were like in our flow, and then we were in our hell no, but now we're all grease lightness!

unknown: 20:57

Woohoo!

SPEAKER_01: 20:59

I don't know where we ended, Jenny. I don't, but I think we'll have to end here now because I'm having a heart attack still.

SPEAKER_00: 21:06

Well, we want more voice notes from the edge.

SPEAKER_01: 21:09

Yes, please. It's lovely that you've started to send them in. Please keep them coming. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 21:15

Let's give you that number again, guys. And you can get in touch on the social Instagram and that.

SPEAKER_01: 21:21

Yes, although we we're not frequenting it much, but we must start.

SPEAKER_00: 21:25

Yeah. The number is zero seven three zero eight four five zero. Oh zero oh three seven.