HIGHS AND LOWS OF THE WEEK: Facing Surgery, Grieving Possibilities, Choosing Hope

A surgeon finally gives clear answers, a timeline, and empathy, bringing relief and a hard truth about a year of recovery. We sit with fear, the loss of fertility, the grind of admin, and the joy that still breaks through, from book obsessions to band practice.

• surgeon’s plan, recovery timeline, and real empathy
• acknowledging medical neglect and its impact
• facing mortality admin, wills, and life insurance
• fertility loss, contrast with an ex’s new baby
• naming fear and accepting help from others
• tests booked, key worker assigned, forward movement
• reshaping recovery as learning and gentle planning
• audiobook strategies and book recommendations
• slapstick radiator disaster and boiler lessons
• reclaiming bedroom space, leaning on friends, and small rituals
• growing capacity in music and movement after burnout
• gratitude as a practice alongside fear and uncertainty

Sisters in chaos.

Transcript

Opening Banter And Setup

SPEAKER_03 0:00

A D H D Mom. It's the high the lows, it's the high the lows.

SPEAKER_02 0:05

It's the high lows and highs and lows of the week.

SPEAKER_03 0:16

Well, hi there. Where the A D H D Moms. And Jen. Well, that's all it takes to just flip your brain that hard. I was so slow.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

It's the highs and lows. Yes, it is. How's your week been?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Well, darling. It's been a week.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

Come on.

Hospital News And Recovery Timeline

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Are you first? Well, I guess so. But you just asked me how many weeks been. Yeah. Okay, well, starting with the low. It's it's the all fucking health related. That's it. Um it looks like I had an appointment in the hospital and it looks like I'm getting closer to me up.

unknown 1:06

Woo woo!

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Which yeah, is woo-woo. But also, he said, this doctor, um, I'm gonna be a whole year in recovery. He said, like, you won't be able to think about working for a year. And this is all this is if it all goes right. And it was a very thorough appointment I had with him, and he actually like showed me all my scans and my insights and all that, which was really interesting because no one's ever bothered before. And he's the first doctor I actually felt like actually gave a shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Which is um yeah, you you like when you were telling me you were like proper singing his praises more than that, he'd really like been personable, hadn't he? Yeah, and you felt a lot of empathy from him.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

Yeah, he actually made me feel like he cared. Yes.

Validating Past Medical Neglect

SPEAKER_02 2:05

And he m he made the hospital the previous like treatments and neglect in hospital and stuff culpable, didn't he?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Like Yeah, basically he sort of said that the stuff that I've got going on now wouldn't be going on if the previous operation hadn't happened.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

If it all hadn't been leased with like error and neglect, it really was neglect. There was a failure in duty of care when you were in hospital for all that time.

Fears About Work, Parenting, Mortality

SPEAKER_01 2:33

Yeah, yeah. So it was nice to have that acknowledged. Yeah. But it's in it's in the low part because uh it is like the realization that it's gonna be another year before I'm okay health-wise. There it I won't be getting any jobs, and my income's gonna remain bad. It's gonna be bad for my child, seeing me sick all the time. Um it's gonna be bad for my mental health, being stuck in the house, being stuck in hospital, all that. It's gonna be painful. And then also to putting even further down around it, I'm like, I've gotta think realistically that I might die, and I've gotta think about like making a will and doing life insurance. And uh, well, I was saving it for the pod.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

So it's just like um I've gotta do that, and I'm shit at admin and how about to do that? I've got to, haven't I? Because if I die, I need to make sure that my son is cared for financially and stuff. And I used to when I was in work. If you die while you're in service for the NHS, you know, your son's gonna get like I think he's gonna get like£70 odd thousand pounds, but now I need to do life insurance. I need to do a will.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Oh my god, I hadn't thought about that. Shit. I've got to admit, you're my best eat. I had thought horrible anxious thoughts like intruding about what if she dies.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

But um, I hadn't even thought about the practicalities of the fact that you will be having those thoughts not just in a a fearful way of like in and out your mind, but as in Fucking hell, it's more admin. Guarding against it.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

Yeah, yeah. But you aren't gonna die. Um I'm not gonna die.

Reframing The Mindset

SPEAKER_02 4:43

The way you were speaking about all that, I'm just gonna remind you. I know that's how you're feeling, but you're so good at having like a positive approach to things, so maybe you wanna think about those terms that you use, and like it's gonna be bad for my mental health, it's gonna be good with all the bad, maybe it's gonna be a challenge to your mental health, and we're gonna like you're gonna collaboratively with the people that love you and are around you find ways to combat the fact that it will challenge your mental health and it will challenge your this and that, you know what I mean? Because I don't like to hear of hear you thinking of like it's gonna be a fucking deep dark yeah, because obviously it wasn't good to hear, was it? I know how it's affected me, that appointment that you had and the reality check. So can't even imagine, babe.

Fertility, Contrast, And Grief

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Yeah, yeah. Um and it was things like when he showed me this big abscess that I've got inside, and I was saying, Well, you know, if you're gonna be taking stuff out, you may as well, you know, give me a hysterectomy while you're there, because that's gonna be part of my operation that I'm having just a little add-on bonus. Um just another tiny little major surgery, yeah, yeah. Um, and and I was saying, you know, because I'm not gonna I'm not planning to have any children or anything like that. And then he says, Well, to be fair, you wouldn't be able to have children with this um abscess that you've got at the moment. And you know, at the time I was like, Oh yeah, okay. And then when I've sort of come away from it, um, although I've got no plans to have children at all, my partner, even though he's younger, doesn't want children, and we had to discuss that, you know, early on in our relationship because I was like, I'm not gonna have another child because you know I feel like those days are done for me. I'm happy with my one child that I've got. Um, but you're very young, you might want a child, and blah blah. We've discussed all that, but then my son's dad um is currently having a child with his partner, his partner, his new well, not new, his wife, yeah. Not new, and just like thinking, and I do love babies in that, don't I? Thinking like they're about to start that journey.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Oh, yeah, and you're being formally told that it's absolutely over for me.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

It's over for me, and like I don't like to compare my life with like my ex-part and help but see contrast. It's it comes up, doesn't it? Because you know, it's a weird one.

SPEAKER_02 7:37

Like it's not always comparison, is it? It's just it's it's contrast, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

You see, you see it, like you see contrast in in your vision, you know, you're not choosing to compare, but it's just and I think I keep getting excited about it for my son, yeah, and thinking like, oh, we can buy that little thing for you to give your new brother for Christmas and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 7:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Um, and I think it's sort of an age recognition thing for me that like my my days of that all that are definitely, definitively over.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Um and you know, my ex-partner who obviously I was gonna live my life with at one point, is just embarking on a new journey.

SPEAKER_02 8:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

That's so it did sort that sort of made me feel a bit blue about surprised, baby, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

The two those two moments, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Yeah. Um and it's took me it I I've found now, I've accepted in myself that I process big events quite slowly. Yeah. So like people think I've just got a very strong, brave face on about everything all the time, but sometimes I just haven't even processed what's going on, or I've dissociated and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 8:58

Yeah.

Naming Fear And Allowing Vulnerability

Tests, Key Worker, And Real Progress

SPEAKER_01 8:59

So I think I've got a recognition in myself that like everyone always goes, Are you all scared or not? And then I kind of I'm not scared of anything. I am quite scared at the moment, you know, I'm facing quite a scary thing, and um taking the time to admit to myself that it's okay to feel fear, you know. I don't have to be dead strong about it, do I? No, you don't. So, in a way, that's a good recognition within myself that um I don't have to be dead strong all the time and I can be scared. So that's kind of a high, and then the next kind of a high is that um like I've been for various procedures this week. Scan, echo, whoo, she's living their life and having a 24-hour ECG tomorrow. You want to fall? We were just about to like embark, and it was like, sorry, but there's more, and then there's like hospitals calling me all the time. Um, I was assigned a key worker from this appointment, and because I've just had like this has been going on for seven years, and I've had to chase every single thing. I've been ignored so much. It actually feels like something is happening, and then although it's something that's really scary and really big and gonna be a huge life event for me, um, and I am scared of it. I am happy that things are finally happening, yeah, and I'm finally gonna get out of this limbo situation that I'm in. And yeah, so it's 2025 now, it's gonna be a year of recovery. So, 2027, here I come. Listen, which is also gonna be my 50th year.

Planning Recovery And Future Hopes

SPEAKER_02 10:59

God, yeah. Come on, life begins at 50.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

So that 50th year is gonna be full of things of joy, I hope.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

Frivolity.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, I'm gonna have a birthday year.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Fucking right, you are.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

To make up for all the ill birthdays I've had.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

And possible upcoming ill Christmas and ill new year and all that.

Audiobooks, Subscriptions, And ND Reads

SPEAKER_02 11:24

But listen, yeah, we won't be just writing off 2026. No, 2026 for you can be about recuperation, restoration, planning. You can set a lot of irons in the fire. You've talked about different things you could try and do, like as like own self-led businesses developing into other career paths and stuff. Yeah. And I've been reminding you there's loads that you can actually prep from your bed while you're ill, while you're not well enough to actually be doing the stuff yet. Yeah. But tons of research and and putting irons in the fire and little bits of new learning and making connections.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

I think there'll be a certain amount of months where I literally can just lie in bed and listen to me podcasts and stuff. Um I've got into audiobooks a lot this week. Oh I know that's been nice.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

You've been sending me all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

Because um I didn't realise you could get them for free on Spotify, but now I've seen me at spin round. I know, but I've realised what you only you actually get like a certain amount of hours, which I think was like 15 or 20 or something for free. Oh amazing. But then I was halfway through a book. I'm listening to Sociopath. Oh yeah, I've seen it. It's boss. Um, and it stopped and it went, She'll have to pay us money now. And I went, Fuck you, because I've got three credits. I've got three credits on Audible, haven't I?

SPEAKER_02 12:52

Oh why you say?

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Well, it's baby, it's cause we've done all that clearing up of um Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

She was like, I ain't going back there.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Of um subscriptions. I realised with Audible, it was like, you can't finish us, or we'll take your credits away. But I had like three credits or so, and so I'll listen to them three books and then finish it. Oh, okay. So I was straight over there getting sociopaths.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

Oh, and when you arrived, you told me one in 25 of us is a sociopath, darling.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

That's it, you know, and it it's a fascinating book. Um for people with ND and stuff, it's a real good read because this is about a g a woman who's a sociopath, but like she doesn't want to be, and she's not like a bad person. It's just she can't feel oh my word. She can't feel all them emotions and she doesn't fear consequences or anything. And sometimes she just criminal acts because like to get it to because she gets this like pressure and she wants to be able to feel something. So she'll go and break into someone's house and walk around it or something.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

So she like gets the thrill.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

Yeah. Oh my god, that's terrifying. But then she goes on to be like a therapist, a mother, all this. I haven't even got into that.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Does she do bad things to anyone?

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Um like I'm I'm only like when she's a young adult at the moment, and I think like the worst she's done is when she was a kid, she stabbed someone in the head with a pencil.

unknown 14:23

Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

But you know what? It reminded me when I was a kid, I hit someone on the head with like a little wooden mallet dead heart. Because they were because they were doing something like if I was playing with something and they were like trying to steal it off me, but the teacher wouldn't have it because like she was a good girl and she wouldn't believe she was being naughty, so I just hit her. I was only four.

SPEAKER_02 14:54

I've got like a really entertaining group of like image of you dressed as Chucky Duran all this.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

No, I was a gorgeous little girl in the school uniform and um and the other thing is she's really into like stealing, and I had a klepto life. No, she's very clear, she's not a klepto, she's not a klepto.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

She just buzzes off Robin.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

It's just like she's not compelled, she gets a feeling from stealing things. And I remembered I had a stealing period when I was about an eight or nine, um, and this girl I like just really loved, like started me into it. So do you think you're a Zoshi passed?

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Just to be clear, I was gonna say I don't think I can agree, but I don't know anything about it.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

No, but I just I just like these things that she done when she was a kid. I'm like, it's not that bad. She was just like rubbing things off people and stabbing them with pencils and that. Yeah. So watch this space. We may have a new few letters after Claire's name. She does this thing, uh, she likes to get off with lads, and then they'll go, oh, and they're dead drunk, and they'll go, can you get me some chips or something? And she'll steal it out.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

But she seems like a nice, personable person as well.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

Well, I'm not convinced at all. Sounds fucking weird.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Yeah. Oh, and the other book that I recommended to you was Will I Ever Have Sex Again by Sophie Hagen. Also, very, very good.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Oh, yeah, that sounded very intriguing. I loved that one. So okay. There we go, Gail. Um it's getting us further closer and closer towards the book club possibilities. Definitely. So watch this space, and that might be a really nice thing to do whilst you're in your recuperative life.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Definitely, if it's audio.

Heating Fail: DIY Bleeding Disaster

SPEAKER_02 16:47

So my Lo. Go on, Gail. Got a bit of um slapstick comedy for you here with me, Lo. I don't like slapstick comedy, but yeah. You will when you know the involvement of me in it. I think you'll enjoy this. Um, so it's freezing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Um well, I don't know, I'm having half flushes all the time. Well, it's gone cold.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

And then I'm not used to this. You're not coming into my house being like turn the heating on when it's on. I know. Um, but it's gone freezing.

SPEAKER_01 17:24

There's a little bit of a nip in the air.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Where we live.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Jack Frost's being house.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

My nips are permanently in the air because my house is freezing. I saw them before when you were cheating. Did you?

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Your nips were all freezing. Yeah. You look because in that lilac blood.

SPEAKER_02 17:44

So, listeners, if you enjoyed this episode of behind the scenes with Jen and Claire, head on over to our OnlyFans. So, it's gone so cold and um the nips are suffering. Yeah. And I I was like trying to get the heating back on and going.

SPEAKER_01 18:03

Same, I've had the turns it on.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

No difference. But obviously, I didn't realise for about two weeks. I just got used to like being cold when I and you know when it's happening is when my kids are not there, because when my kids are there, we're all moving about that much that we don't feel cold. Yeah, it's just when I'm in in the house on my own because I get the chance to be restful and I'm like blah blah blah blah blah blah. Um so then I realised I was cold one night, and I thought, like, did you need to repressurise your boiler? I thought I need to re-pressurise my boiler. So I went and tried, nothing happened. So then I thought, and I mean nothing happened. It wouldn't re-pressurize, it did go, it was on the zero pressure thing. But me being me was trying to not get in touch with my agents because they're just such scumbags, and I'm on my way out, and I just I need to like wait till I jump before I'm pushed out of this house, you know. Yeah, so I've got a place to.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

If you remind them of your existence, they might save you with a it's that thing from your landlord life, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Just being like a good tenant by not needing your home to be functional.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

It's such a shit life. I know that life.

SPEAKER_02 19:11

So I was like, right, I know I need to bleed my radiators, feeling that surge of of like self uh not DIY.

SPEAKER_03 19:25

We can't be fucking calling that self-care that I can bleed my own radiators.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Uh like independent woman. Independent. Um, so but I'm you know, it's not gonna if you if your boilers not repressurised and the bloody bleeding radiating.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

But in my moment I thought, I'm gonna bleed the radiators. So I got out me. You just reminded me personal radiator key. Yeah, I've got loads. With my name engraved on it. Who'd done that? I'm this and I thought, I remember you start with the one furthest away from the boiler. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, babe. So I went and did it. I th and um nothing was happening. And then I th I read online, I googled. Go on. And it said, Oh, start with the one furthest away from your boiler, but downstairs.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Oh.

Boiler Fix Attempts And Likely Valve Issue

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Right, okay. So the pipes must go from the boiler and off up all around the house, blah blah blah blah blah blah, and then down to the furthest away point. Got it. So I went to that one, it's in my living room behind the sofa.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Instructions beginners plumbing.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Beginners pipe works, which I am a pipe worker. What?

SPEAKER_01 20:43

Oh, come off. That's like fucking so beyond the carry-on then.

SPEAKER_02 20:51

So I got my key out, and um I started, I I twisted it. Yeah. Um and I could hear the hiss. Love it. And I remembered to myself, so you wait till the hiss stops and a little bit of water comes out, and then you quickly tighten it back up. So I'm like that, there's this hiss. Love it. Hissing and hissing and hissing and hissing and hissing. No water. Hissing on, hissing. I thought I'll have to open it a bit more and just get this air out, hurry up. So obviously being impatient. So I opened it a bit more, still hissing, and I'm like, oh come on, opened it a bit more. And the the thing which I've never seen out of it before fell out. What thing? The the screw thing with the end, it's like a kind of square peg ended thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

No, no, yeah, no worse.

A Burst Of Gratitude And Joy

SPEAKER_02 21:45

And suddenly at that moment, and it started spraying this black, black, like metallic radiator water, spraying it like high pressure, all over me, my wall, my picture frames, my sofa, my new sofa, my face. Awful, awful. It stank, it was in me, it was in my mouth, it was closing my stuff.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

Well, because I was against pipes. I was like something spreading out a pipe. Um no, because I was fucking aghast, I was shocked. Come on, shut your mouth.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

The eyes and mouth closed your eyes went wide open for the first bit, and then I shut everything up.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

But I was having to go down at the back of the sofa, but I couldn't reach far enough to get the thing, so it was spraying like then into my like my fucking sides of my face, my ear. Well, well bled though, eh?

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Oh my god. I've managed to finally get it and like shove it back in, but then it was just spraying in like an extremely fine spray.

unknown 23:13

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

And then I managed to tighten it up, and the back of me the carpet was soaked. Oh, that's the back of my sofa. I didn't care about the carpet because I'm now at that stage of disrespect towards my landlord.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

Did you have something with your research of cathedral water? No, no, you meant to, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

Oh, so I washed everything that I could. I tried to, you know, just uh sort everything out. I think it's fairly undetectable.

SPEAKER_01 23:42

I couldn't smell it when I came in.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

No. I've I've sorted it really. I can't believe how well I've cleaned it up. And it was in under pressure because my kids were back the next day and I wanted it to all be sorted.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

But didn't sort the heating out, did you?

SPEAKER_02 23:56

No, because then I've gone on to I finally repressurised my boiler last week.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Well yes, how how did you manage to do it when you just managed previously?

SPEAKER_02 24:06

I just googled it and watched a YouTube tutorial and I haven't been doing it quite right.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

And I you were laughing at me, going, uh, repressurize the boiler, didn't you? Like it's something really good. You did it wrong.

Reclaiming Space And Support Networks

SPEAKER_02 24:19

But it's still not working.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Yeah, mine mine isn't either.

SPEAKER_02 24:24

I think it's something to do with the fact that I turned it off and on again. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Is it firing up at all?

SPEAKER_02 24:31

Like going It looks like it's on, and the little blue flame is there and the the little central eating hub thing is working, it's just the radiators are stone cold. This is the same as me. Oh, and the hot water's working.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Mine's the hot water, but not the radiators. You might have the same problem where the yen and yang of central eating divert a valve or some shit like this.

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Alright, well, that definitely needs to replace them by a pro, don't it?

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Um so that's me low. But believe it or not, go high. Go on. I mean, we know that I'm on some sort of weird hormonal moment now, don't we? Because I was nearly crying before because of how much I love you, how much I love my kids, blah, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Me too, yeah. But the listeners do. I just love my life, babe.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Yeah! I just just feel so lucky. With it with a bang. It was some much-needed moss poles for my monsteras that are thriving in my wonderful life in my life.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

You have got thriving plants, girl. Girl, I know. Yeah, it's just all part of my life that I love. Yeah. I mean, this is the best high there could be, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 25:54

It is, isn't it? I know there's plenty to be done. There's plenty of improvements to be made and enhancements to be sought.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 26:06

The problem is, I'm not American, so I don't know how to sit comfortably in this moment of self-celebration. Do you think Americans can?

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Man, have you ever met one or listened to one?

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Yes, they they manage much better than us, darling.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Do you think it's all real?

SPEAKER_02 26:22

I don't know about that.

SPEAKER_01 26:23

Why why Americans? Why did they anyway? We digress. Let's analyse the advent.

SPEAKER_02 26:31

So I just I mean it helps, doesn't it? That I um had wonderful support of bodyzubler last night for me to like reclaim my bedroom and we've been recording in here today.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Um I was made up that we're back on the bed. Back on the bear, bitches. We've just like We've been on the couch, haven't we?

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Because you were feeling bad juju in your bedroom. I was, I was. I still need to siege it.

SPEAKER_01 26:58

Yeah, but I um There'd been a demon in here.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Yes, and we have cast him out. A dull demon. Um I've just made it my own again, very gorgeous. And um, and in general, you know, just feel like, oh, just like a bit of a sense of disp I suppose I'm in a positive place, aren't I? So I've got the chance to like look at all the positives, yeah. And I've just been like, wow, like how lucky am I, the friends that I have and the people that that I love who love me back, and just the but I love you, I've got such like wonderfully like nourishing relationships in my life, and you know, my children are in extreme, like low exhaustion factor for me a lot of the time just because of the practicalities of me trying to cope with adulting on behalf of two high needs children. So the reality of you know, children for me is often pretty harrowing.

SPEAKER_04 28:03

Yeah.

Music, Energy, And Believing In The Future

SPEAKER_02 28:04

But how lucky am I to like have that like you know, as my like difficult thing, you know, like a relationship, a constantly growing relationship with two incredible people. Oh, yeah like and how who the hell am I to be like the centre of anyone's world? Like amazing, amazing, amazing little people, and like I get to be like, oh, you know, just it's just gorgeous, and they're just so so so lovely. And I think I'm getting the chance to really miss them now. They're with the dad and extra naive. Yeah, so it just gives me more room for like contemplating them and how how truly gorgeous they are and how lucky I am that they come back to me, you know. And yeah, it's just and I'm really enjoying my studies and Yeah, which is your band's doing great stuff, isn't it? Yeah, busy with the band. I've been like, oh god, and just thinking about like capacity and energy levels and stuff, and just like can't recognise myself in in band practice now from like say a year ago, and a bit before that, I used to literally be lying down on the floor, being like, sorry guys, singing, like literally lying on the floor as often as I could, and like sitting down against the wall to sing and that which is the worst position you could try and sing in. Um and now I'm like absolutely bouncing through like three hours of like pretty full-on rehearsal and like I love that having a great time, having a laugh.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:36

Just I'm just like celebrating my um my own very individual life and all the nuance and difficult things and blah blah blah that have brought me to like where I am and the fact that now I like I believe there's a future and it's multifaceted and like yeah. Love this. And I appreciate you, baby.

Closing And Rallying Cry

SPEAKER_01 30:00

Yeah, I love you. Love you. That's the end. So raise a fist and say it with us.

SPEAKER_00 30:10

Sisters in chaos.