The ADHD MUMS Pod
Real talk from two ADHD mums in the thick of parenting, chaos, and clutter. Gen and Claire share honest highs and lows of neuro-divergent life. We are Mums, but you don't have to be to listen!
We share real, unfiltered stories about parenting, neurodivergence, and daily struggles like executive dysfunction, disorganisation, overstimulation, and Mum guilt. We also celebrate the wins—big or small—with honesty and laughter.
We're both AFAB and biological mums, but this space is for all parents, ADHDers, curious minds, and —even your pets. Everyone’s welcome.
We do swear though, so you probably need headphones if there's kids around!
The ADHD MUMS Pod
ADVENT CHAOS CALENDAR! ADHD Gift Lists Without Meltdowns
We trade ADHD-friendly gifting tactics that work with real pay cycles, time limits, and social norms, from charity shop wins to last-minute experience gifts and subscriptions. We push back on stigma, simplify decisions with themes, and share a cautionary tale about hiding presents too well.
• executive dysfunction and why plans fail
• secondhand gifts vs social expectations
• charity shop scanning and the Christmas box
• late shopping strategies and digital experiences
• subscriptions as budget smoothing
• clutter-aware gifting and minimalism
• one-theme shopping for less decision load
• using retailer deals for colleagues and family
• setting price caps and managing expectations
• family story of the lost green suede jacket
Further TW: This podcast references at times: alcohol abuse, depression, mood disorders, medical emergency, miscarriage, traffic accidents, grief and loss, teen pregnancy, anxiety, abuse, PDA, low self esteem, and anti-depressant medications, disordered eating, hoarding...
All music written and produced by Ash Doc Horror Lerczak.
Artwork by Gen
For more information about us, our podcast and our ADHD MUMS community, visit OUR WEBSITE.
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Let's get ADHD MUMS up the pod charts and raise awareness when we all need it most!
See you next Wednesday! xxx
It's a rolling up to Christmas and we're on to the HD.
SPEAKER_00:Hello, we're the ADHD once. I'm Claire. And I'm Jen. Go and rogue with you. Hello, are you? Oh yeah. Shop for Spooth, didn't we?
SPEAKER_01:Today we're talking to you about gift lists and executive dysfunction.
SPEAKER_00:Well, we all know what executive dysfunction is, and and Clause, we've discussed it before, but go back and listen to our episodes. And most of us are living with it. Yeah, it just means we can't plan in a way.
SPEAKER_01:Or we can't execute the plans.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, true.
SPEAKER_01:There's all sorts to it. Yeah. Anyway, when it comes to planning gifts, do you know what, babe?
SPEAKER_00:You're good at it, aren't you?
SPEAKER_01:Shall I just tell them all that this is one of my ADHD as a superpower areas that actually is? I have a hack for you straight up at the front of this episode. Because I can't keep it back. Here she goes. I buy Christmas presents all year round. She does. I sometimes I start and I used to, not so organised now. I used to start in the January sales. Like if I if there was like boss things for half price, that I wouldn't have got that person. The point for me isn't as much the saving as I can get them a better present for the same amount I would spend on them.
SPEAKER_00:Well, it must be lovely to not be skint in January. That's all I can say, because that's all I've ever thought when people are like, I buy all the stuff cheap in January.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, I'm overdrawn.
SPEAKER_00:I'm fucking got no money and I owe it left, right, and centre.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um so I've got no time for you.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I used to do that, but then my more normal thing is seeing things if they're like the perfect present for someone. And it tends to be charity shop based because that's when you find this one-off thing and you think of that person and you're like, oh, they'd love that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'll buy that and put it away for them in my Christmas box.
SPEAKER_00:And again, I used to think, well, you're lucky you haven't got a fucking nine to five, and you can go around charity shopping all the time, aren't you, Gail? We're weekends. This could be in a charity shopping the weekend, but my kid does. I'm gonna go charity shopping all the weekends when mine actually does, but you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so you're saying our listeners might feel resistant to this lovely idea I'm sharing.
SPEAKER_00:I'm saying I I would have. So no, they're great ideas if you've got the time and if you've got the money, aren't they?
SPEAKER_01:Well, it's a great tip on how to save a lot of money to pick them up in charity shops year-round.
SPEAKER_00:It is, but if you're into the thing called the poverty tax, which is like where because you're poor, you can't do the things to save money like buy in bulk, pay your bills up front to get the discount, buy presents in advance because you haven't got the money to do it, that sort of thing. Um so I think I'm not being like like funny, I'm saying if you've got the time and money, those are great ways to be organised and to save money. Um a lot of us with ADHD, if you're like more in my category of it, haven't got time or money.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm still I'm not having it, sorry. I'm saying wherever you live, think of your nearest charity shop now.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You could just put it as part of your mindset that year round you're gonna pop in at some point, yeah, whether it's the weekend, whether it's on the way past from the school run, whether it's blah blah blah. If this is not the time-related one, like you'd have to have the time. This is talking about the poverty part that you're talking about. Pop in. Who who's who's the perfect gift for here for two pounds? Yeah. I'll put it away in my Christmas box. There's that relative's Christmas present done. Two pounds instead of I spent a tenet on fucking a box of celebrations at at Christmas, and it's a really personal gift because it's something that made me think of them and that I know they'll like.
SPEAKER_00:Some people don't like the stigma of a second hand gift as well. I know that, like, for instance, for sure.
SPEAKER_01:That's it like a family culture thing, isn't it? Like a social thing.
SPEAKER_00:I'm in a secret centre with my family. Oh, yeah. If I was suspected of giving a second hand gift to someone, I would be like, eee.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's not the same with secret centre, is it? Because that's always like cost-based as well, like a price.
SPEAKER_00:But even like if I gave like a a secondhand boxed gift that like cot cost more than the amount, but I'd managed to get it for second hand. I I would be I think like if there was any suspicion that it was secondhand, it'd be like, ee. Yeah, and I know that's the same with like work colleagues, was it being like that? Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01:But I think Secret Santa's different because of the the financial, like fixed aspect.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You're expected to spend the same amount on each other.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but and also I think it can be that sort of stigma thing can be class based and yeah, all this, like, and from working class. And I think they would rather have the box of celebrations if it's new, than like above them and ornament in the charity shop.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00:That was worth you know far more than the yeah, I agree with that completely. Yeah, but your family is a bit more bohemian than mine, isn't it? A bit more like thrifters, yeah. I'd thrifters and grifters. Personally, I'd prefer the second hand gift. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but um, yes. What about when you do get your Christmas presents a little bit in advance, you're sorted, whether you buy them secondhand new or whatever, that's not part of it. And you uh put them away and you hide them so well you can't find them.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've wouldn't know.
SPEAKER_01:You've never had it. Why? Because you do it so close to Christmas that there wouldn't be the opportunity.
SPEAKER_00:I'm literally a Christmas Eve shopper.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, that's like a fella.
SPEAKER_00:Well, it's because I can't afford to get them until like my last pay in December.
SPEAKER_01:Well, if that's your cycle, right, and you're always like absolutely broke in January and all that, I'm surprised you've never gone in for those save all year for Christmas schemes that you do 20 quid a month or whatever. Have you done that?
SPEAKER_00:Oh yeah? You know me, don't you, babe?
SPEAKER_01:No, but like what I'm saying is you were you were in that like office job for like 20 years. I thought that's the sort of thing that they hammered officers with.
SPEAKER_00:What? They're called Ton Time.
SPEAKER_01:Never heard of that.
SPEAKER_00:Like my mum goes in at they call it like the Tony, and like everyone puts money in each month, and then Christmas you get given you money. Yeah. No, never I've never saved anything in my life. I've never had any savings.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, we are just so opposite like this, aren't we? Yeah. We're a great example of how like there's so many how disparate ADHD can be. Exactly. There's so many aspects of our like ADHD that and not that every not to like pathologise that every aspect of our characters and our like living is ADHD based, but just to show that like we've got so many things in common, and yet there's so many things that are like the opposite, and they you know, they they do seem linked to the ADHD trade, but just totally different different uh uh aspects of the line.
SPEAKER_00:So I have always um I'll start my shopping usually on my November paycheck. Yeah, oh well. Won't have enough for everything, so I'll leave some things till last and that I can buy with the December paycheck, and there'll be things that either I'll have to go to the shops last minute and buy, or um I can't, or uh like you won't be because you won't be able to get them delivered online. Oh yeah. Because I don't like going to the shops anyway.
SPEAKER_01:But one of the horrible round Christmas in real life, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And one of my tips is that I've come up with if you c if you are shopping on Christmas Eve, um buy experiences or subscriptions or things like that, because you can buy them last minute and they just get delivered to you inbox.
SPEAKER_01:That is a brilliant tip. I used to do a version of that that was more like yeah, more my style of like, or I encouraged like ex-partners to do it when they were being crap with buying for whoever they're more me or whatever.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'd say like, write a voucher.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:If it comes down to the end of like I hadn't thought of things like that at the time, or maybe it wasn't so like you know, easy to do. But I was like, write a voucher saying, I am getting you this or whatever, it's better than nothing. Yeah. So there's a really good ADHD friendly hack, I'd say. Yeah. You can make it pretty, you know what I mean? You can spend a minute on the actual voucher itself if you want to feel less like shit about just giving a piece of paper. But you can say, you know, I'm gonna I think I started it when my mum had a certain birthday and I was like not organised enough to book, but I'd planned she had a big birthday, so I thought I'll take her away for the night to an Airbnb or something. So I just wrote down, I'm taking you away to it for the night. Yeah, you know, let's look at where we want to go.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you can even make it. She looked like the reason you haven't booked it is because you want to plan it together.
SPEAKER_01:If you feel like you have to, I wouldn't feel like I had to explain that.
SPEAKER_00:No, some people will. I know I would. Because I think the reaction from my family, if I said, Oh, it is a voucher for something would be different, and I'd have to like come up with an excuse of why it was, which I guess is a masking, isn't it? That's a form of masking. It's not just saying, Look, I wasn't organised enough to book your thing or whatever. Yeah. But I found like, because it's a way of budgeting as well for me. I have bought people like I bought my partner last year a subscription to this like independent book shop thing where they would send them a book every month and that, but I only would have to pay monthly for that.
SPEAKER_01:That was such a good plan for how to not lump some a present to your partner like a big expense.
SPEAKER_00:I've done that, like I've got into doing that like quite a few years now. I'll give someone a subscription to something, so I only pay monthly and I don't have to so it's a that's like excellent. It's a like a ton time in reverse, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I love that. Yeah, um, so that's one of my tips: subscriptions and experiences as well. I think the better for the planner, you know, in terms of yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_01:And plus we we're all struggling with clutter. We know that as a society, not just ADHD people, we have too much stuff, like so. It's lovely to like give something that's like either an experience or a thing that's absolutely like their ideal thing and you know comes in drips and draps rather than is like I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Because I like to buy things like for you and my other besties. I know you and my other besties would not appreciate stuff. Yeah, and then my other one I don't see enough. So I often buy us tickets for something like we went I bought cinema tickets and I really went to CNN. And then I bought is like the um bag sale, the charity bag sale and stuff like that. So I try and do stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and just in relation to that starting to close up, yeah, is um we were brainstorming, weren't we? And we were looking online. Um things like sticking to a theme of gifts can like reduce the like pressure on your executive functioning a lot. Yeah so like the things we saw suggested was like just buying like nice coffee for everyone, or like a a a really posh type of candle for all the you know, candle lovers in you, or something. My version of that was like one year I would do all my Christmas shopping for my family in the Chinese supermarket and put together little like hamper type things, or like do like a massive noodle soup, two massive noodle soup bowls stacked with like different types of noodles and sauce and a sake can or something and chopsticks. And that was all done in one shopping session, and it was all the same like theme, which I think is cute anyway. Like everyone's getting a similar sort of um and if you're doing things for me.
SPEAKER_00:Like buying for people that you don't know very well, with colleagues, um extended family members and all that. You do get all your three for two offers in like boots, marks and spensers, all that. So if you buy all your gifts for like the same price from then if you know you're gonna get one out of three of them for free. It's a good idea. Stuff like that. Yeah. Um that's all about costs and that, isn't it? But also about like just go on the Mark and Spencer site and do this. Yeah, it's how to manage it, isn't it? Um But also you can add in managing expectations what you're gonna get people, can't you, as well?
SPEAKER_01:Funny tale, before the end, uh my mum did that thing, my very ADHD mum did the thing of um like she lives in a hoarder house and she does the like you know charity shopping all year round life and she puts things away. I guess that's how I've been raised, that's how I do it. Um she was telling me excitedly that she'd found the perfect jacket for my sister-in-law. This is about 15 years ago, like um, it was this like bright green suede jacket, it's so hair, and it was so hair. Yeah. Um I think she showed me it, she was so made up with herself. And then Christmas came and went. I think she bought it in September. Um, and on Christmas, she gave my sister-in-law whatever, and she told her about like a main your main present is this gorgeous jacket, and she's such an exaggerator, isn't she? So it was really big story, and like my sister-in-law just had to sit there and be like, That sounds really nice.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, so you could have had exactly that sounds really up my street.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like I can't wait. And I think she literally got it about six years later, it became one of the family jokes of like the green suede jacket. Did she just come and find it was like less hair style by then, and I don't remember a phase of her like wearing it, you know. But like, yeah, I think it was about six years after. I think it might have been when she was moving house. Oh my god. So, anyway, see you tomorrow.
