The ADHD MUMS Pod
Real talk from two ADHD mums in the thick of parenting, chaos, and clutter. Gen and Claire share honest highs and lows of neuro-divergent life. We are Mums, but you don't have to be to listen!
We share real, unfiltered stories about parenting, neurodivergence, and daily struggles like executive dysfunction, disorganisation, overstimulation, and Mum guilt. We also celebrate the wins—big or small—with honesty and laughter.
We're both AFAB and biological mums, but this space is for all parents, ADHDers, curious minds, and —even your pets. Everyone’s welcome.
We do swear though, so you probably need headphones if there's kids around!
The ADHD MUMS Pod
ADVENT CHAOS CALENDAR; Redefining Holiday Gifting When Money, Kids, And Capitalism Collide
We unpack why Christmas spending spirals with ADHD and how small shifts can prevent the January crash. From reframing kids’ lists to smarter timing, secondhand wins, and handmade gifts, we keep the magic without the debt or guilt.
• reframing children’s lists as ideas to reduce pressure
• sharing lists with relatives to spread costs
• pacing purchases to match pay cycles
• using Black Friday with a pre-made plan
• applying a 24-hour pause to cut impulse buys
• spotting scams with URL checks and reverse image search
• making handmade gifts and photo frames
• finding themed jumpers secondhand
• saying no to secret santas and costly socials
• balancing anti-consumerist values with real-world needs
Further TW: This podcast references at times: alcohol abuse, depression, mood disorders, medical emergency, miscarriage, traffic accidents, grief and loss, teen pregnancy, anxiety, abuse, PDA, low self esteem, and anti-depressant medications, disordered eating, hoarding...
All music written and produced by Ash Doc Horror Lerczak.
Artwork by Gen
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See you next Wednesday! xxx
It's a roll up to Christmas and we're on to the ADHD.
SPEAKER_02:We're the ADHD mums. I'm Claire. And I'm John. Ho ho ho! Money, money, money, money!
SPEAKER_00:Money!
SPEAKER_02:That's what we're gonna talk about. Money. Yeah. In the money at the Christmas. For the ADHD pupils. It's hard. Yeah. I spend too much every year at Christmas and put myself into death.
SPEAKER_00:We uh recapped on Claire's Christmas spends um before getting on the mic, um, just because we're friends and we chat a lot. Yeah. Um and I think we're well placed to talk about this one. Because we're so different in so many ways, different like reasons, different experiences with money, of money, thoughts about money.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um and we both got our own issues with it and both got our own like triumphs with it.
SPEAKER_02:But uh yeah, I spend too much and then I suffer for it in like January, February. Um but I I don't really want to change.
SPEAKER_00:But I'll die suffering on that January, February crop.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, that's the way it goes. Um for me. But yeah, um it's not sensible, it's not good. And at this yeah, I've got a new job.
SPEAKER_00:So dynamics are different financially.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Are you paying a mortgage for the first Christmas ever? Or is it the second?
SPEAKER_02:No, the first. Yeah. First Christmas in my new home. Yes, so we were talking about Christmas lists to have kids and their expectations.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I've as I've mentioned children's Christmas lists are so desperate.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. As I've mentioned previously, my son used to think if he didn't get everything on his Christmas list, he'd be bad. Not through my teaching. So I felt the responsibility to get them everything.
SPEAKER_00:I um taught mine a couple of years ago. I kind of vetoed the like Christmas list of items and said, tell you what, um, because it was getting like there was no way they were getting everything that they were writing on it and stuff. So I just said, tell you what, I think you need to tell Santa what you like for ideas, and now that's just what comes out like the baby, she's only five, isn't she? But she said, I'm gonna write my list to Santa the other night, and she started writing it, she was asking me how to spell every single thing. Oh but she wrote, Dear Santa, here are some ideas for presents, K-pop demon hunter stuff. A carriage that I can drive in it. Um that was quite specific and impossible. Um, and makeup, yeah. So it was it's pretty loose in there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, apart from the imaginary item.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, my eldest has um, but that's the point, is the psychology of it because they know it's just ideas. Yeah. I'm not concerned that they won't get everything on it or whatever. You know, yeah. So I feel for you like that, that's horrible.
SPEAKER_02:Because my traditions were shared with my partner, and obviously, then you've got all family involved and people at school and everything like that. Um, but nowadays doesn't believe in Santa, we share the list out with as grandparents and other people who might be buying them gifts.
SPEAKER_00:That's great, yeah, because there's so many of them for your son.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah. Um, so that works out quite good. Um, if you've got people you can share your kids' lists out with, um or do it like Jen manage the expectations up front that like it's not you're not gonna get everything.
SPEAKER_00:It's like some people are way more um like paired back than us. Like I'm in a group chat with one friend who was saying the other day, like, what like I don't want I don't want to get my kids anything.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:They've got everything.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:They're too little really to like you know, like I don't want to like big up them like asking for load of stuff, they don't need anything, and like I like she was feeling really like done in by the pressure of what to get your kids, yeah, and it affects and she was saying, Oh you know, all the grandparents want to know, and blah blah blah. I don't want anything, I don't want any more stuff in this house, and I really felt it. Like, I was like, I get that, and I was suggesting like off the grandparents, why don't she she was saying, like, literally, they don't need anything, yeah. And that her kids are younger, so I was like, why don't you, if they're desperate to get stuff, presents to give, just upgrade things they've already got, like if they've got a crappy set of paints that's all mashed up and done in, yeah, get a new set of paints because that's something that they can gift, or like paper, like big size paper for them to paint on if they're painting, or like um I don't know, can't remember now, but like you know, or practical things that you could do with them having like yeah or experiences or well, she wanted to do that, but they weren't up for it. That was her frustration as well, was like they want to give stuff, yeah. And I think that's why she was wound up, but she was like, Oh, it'd be so nice if we could just like have a day out or something.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um I remember my friend who's like a bit more well off in her family, a bit more well off than that. Um I used to buy little presents for her kids and she was just like, please don't, because you know they just don't need anything. Please don't buy them anything. Um so I do un I understand like that. Um and I know that like when my son was younger, um like when he'd be but bought like literally like giant gifts like in size wise, I'd be like, Where am I gonna put this in my tiny house?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02:Um or you know, all the sweets and stuff doesn't need more sweets and yeah, but basically, um the guess I guess you know, if you didn't want to put yourself in death, you can save up. And pe my mum always goes in a ton, ton ton.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the ton.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah. Um where you just put money away each month or week or whatever, and if you get it at Christmas. Um or there's things like putting money in envelopes that you're putting away, or just different ways of saving. If you're good at saving, I'm bad at saving. So what I normally do is get myself into this and then pay the debt back. It's just doing it the other way around.
SPEAKER_00:Well within chest, unfortunately, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02:Or it's not on the way to I'll lend it off my family or or things like as I said previously, I buy like subscriptions to things and then you like paying them monthly.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that was such a clever idea.
SPEAKER_02:Or for my partner, before I was like quite ill, we used to buy trips for each other a lot, and then like you don't necessarily have to pay that until you actually go on the trip, which might be a couple of months in advance, so you've got time.
SPEAKER_00:I was gonna say, do you remember you were saying you were like recommending buying vouchers and that sort of thing, or like and you bought once these last year these vouchers for us to go to the cinema and have a drink and all that. You could bypass that in a similar way because you spent that all that money at that time when you were already stressed for money, but we didn't go till like ten months later. You could literally just make a voucher. Yeah, in fact, I'm gonna say now. For someone like if you want if you want to do that for anyone this year, I'll make you a cute little voucher on the on my app, my design app that I use. Thank you. It'll say if you're paying up front, you can literally make a voucher saying, I'm taking you to this place or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:No, well at the time I could afford to buy them. Last year I had a job. What I was saying about it was it for me, it's always been about pacing it out on your your pay your salary days.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So instead of trying to buy everything with like November's salary because you're not going to get paid again until say Christmas Eve when it's too late to get things delivered and and too late to go to the shops, that's when I'd buy online gifts like vouchers for the sickness.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I see what you mean. Or It was with you saying then you were in debt, January, February, but I get ya.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Or like things like a holiday that you pay off, or subscriptions that you just pay a bit each month. Yeah. But for me, if I'd have like, if we'd have suddenly gone last month, oh, I'm gonna have to pay 90 pounds for everyone to go to the cinema, I thought that would be so I like to get them bought at Christmas time, but some of them I'm paying off or whatever.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um so that's like doing the opposite of saving, it's borrowing, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Which can lead to interests. You were talking before, you're kind of aware of like what privileges we have between us or whatever. Like people may well not have family that can lend them an interest free. Exactly, yeah. And so that's good if you can.
SPEAKER_02:And you know, I am on universal credit this year, and it's a different story for me because I'm thinking I don't think I think I'll get me November Universal Credit, but then I don't think I'll get paid again till after Christmas now, because in when you're in work they pay you your salary early for people. So I've got to get everything out of this month because I haven't saved, because I haven't got any money to save.
SPEAKER_00:Well, which brings us down to one of my swear buys now in the past few years is buy up buy on Black Friday. Obviously, it's not like I'm so unique in that. Like, what one thing I thought of is the pre-Christmas sale by then, but just like be prepared in your mind that like that's not just when you buy like a new air fryer or whatever, but buy your Christmas shopping then because it really is like most of the toys I've bought for my kids are a genuine like 50% off just for that, and you'll see the price go back up next week.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and obviously, we're not a fan of this big festival of the November sales, don't I always tell you?
SPEAKER_00:Because I don't like saying that. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, it's a big like festival of capitalism, and some people follow the thing of don't buy anything on Black Friday. It's political statements and this and that.
SPEAKER_00:That definitely comes from a place of financial privilege, though, by the sound.
SPEAKER_02:I can't afford to do that because I've got to buy Christmas presents for my child. I can't suddenly now be like, listen, son, Christmas is a big capitalist scam, and you can't have any presents. Maybe when he's over.
SPEAKER_00:You can't say you can't have any, you can alter his expectations because of the capitalist part. That's a part of your like gifts to bestow, is like understanding our society and like you know, your actual beliefs on it. I don't it's not all or nothing. You're never gonna get him nothing.
SPEAKER_02:No, but what I mean is I don't agree with Black Ferdy, I don't agree with capitalism, but I live in a capitalist society, so I'm gonna buy a gift on Black Ferdi. That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry, I can't do that because I can't afford to not buy stuff.
SPEAKER_00:Well, then you're gonna buy things in general, aren't you? So that's the point, is like you're you're playing them at their own game, you're going, yeah, go on then, I'll have it at half price, as opposed to I'm buying it the month before or after for double. That's how I see it. It's kind of like, ha, suckers. Yeah, give me it all half price. Now you're showing the actual value of it that you can still afford to sell me it for this price. I genuinely feel a bit like I'm I'm robbing them when I'm buying all my only shopping then.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, that's one way to look hurt, isn't it? Yeah. Um but yeah, um why are the other tips we've seen? Oh yeah, this is a good one actually. Wait 24 hours for making like rash purchases.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I was saying to you, wasn't I? I just naturally do that because of the overwhelm of like decision fatigue. Like I'll just regularly be like needing to buy this or that thing, whether it's the kids' birthdays or something's broken or on its last legs, or it's the November sales when I buy my like thing I've needed all year, like a dehumidifier or a towel or something. And um I'll have things in my basket for at least a week where I'm like looking at the reviews again, looking on another website, looking at the comparative things on the same website, like going backwards and forwards, just because I can't decide and I want to buy something that's the best I can for me money.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yeah, I mean uh you can't wait when it's in the sales or it's on offer there, you've got to grab your deal.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you've got a time window, but you don't have to buy immediately. You do have a time window.
SPEAKER_02:Do a bit of research prior, I guess.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um and yeah, because I always think like, especially when you see things on like secondhand sites, like vintage or eBay or need to buy it or someone else has gone out.
SPEAKER_00:Oh yeah, you do get into that mindset on vintage for sure. Like the amount of stuff I've gone, oh yeah, that's cute. Oh, it's sold.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um, but the thing I know that nearly happened to me, which we should be careful of is impulsive, if you're the impulsive ADHD type like me, is I nearly got scammed. Because I was looking, my son wants an LA Dodgers jersey because he's going to baseball. And I was looking for one and I found one on this site that was going for like it was an official one, and it it was going for like they cost£140 full price. It was it was going for£20. Oh my god. But it was saying it was this like charity organization in Australia, like a charity shop thing. Yeah. Um, and I was about to buy it, but I noticed the URL was showing us something different. So I went and reselled this thing. It was called Vinny's for like St. Vincent's and I went on their Facebook and it said someone's being used and all their stuff, like for a scam. So do be careful about scams. If it looks like it's too good to be true, it might be too good to be true. Terrible. I know, it's awful, isn't it? And I got scams on Vinters as well the other day because I bought me Secret Santa present. That's a good one. My family now, because we're a really big family, mum is one of seven, and then there's all their children, and then all their children. We part can't possibly buy gifts for everyone, so we do a secret centre between us.
SPEAKER_00:That is a really good idea.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Um between the adults, and then like the grandmothers give money to the grandchildren and stuff like that. Um so I s I because we have a budget of the Secret Santa gift, I saw like an it was like a sealed Joe Malone set. It was really nice, but it was a lot cheaper. It was on video. It was a scam babe.
SPEAKER_00:Star.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. How do you know? Um like how did it present? She just kept going, oh crawn send it by DPZ or whatever. Can we set up a different way to receive it and all this? Um, like trying to get it like an off-vinter thing, and then as on like a Google image search and the same like set on the same carpet was in all kinds of different places. Oh my god. So I had to complain to winters and get my money back. So again, it's one of them where it was too good to be true, so get it for that price. Um do be careful, guys.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um one of the tips we've got here, but you thought it was stupid, and I kind of agree, is hide your debit cards from yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but if your impulse control is that good that you can know where your debit card is and want to use it but not get it out, then sound. Joke on. Yeah. You're too unrelatable for me to talk to.
SPEAKER_02:Well, it's I I can't have find my debit card, it's on my phone, so I don't really know what because it would be hiding it. It's have to hide my phone. I'm not doing that, need it.
SPEAKER_00:Um, do you know another one that we didn't discuss that's come to me for money and saving money or whatever? Yeah. And we've kind of like laughed about it before, I think even in these mini episodes, is like handmade gifts. I think because I was saying something about like our um, you know, like I'm not saying like a bake your own cookies jar with all the like ingredients layered out beautifully. Yeah. But actually, for a Christmas present, yeah, that is a gorgeous gift if you make it look good. If you've got like a nice, if you've got like nice styling capacity, yeah. Like the ing the raw ingredients for that are cheap as really comparatively to like buying, you know, a big this or that candle or something. So is that happening?
SPEAKER_02:Homemade gifts are good, aren't they? Yeah. And if you can get the kids to do with it. Because I done homemade soaps one year with my son and then sent them.
SPEAKER_01:So did I?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I did a homemade soup and a homemade um shampoo and everything because I was doing my aromatherapy. But they were like off him as well. Gorgeous. Did you put a Lego figure in? That was a trend at one point. Um I um think if you've got if you can get a piece of air drying clay and get the kids to make a little figure of any kind, that's quite a cute little gift for like family members or whatever. Um I always like the school photos frames as well.
SPEAKER_02:I get nice fames for the for my son's school photo and give them to the grandparents.
SPEAKER_00:My sister-in-law always did that, but I just year after year I would see them kind of like not displayed in a really good thing.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, well mine are also displayed with pride. Yeah. It depends, doesn't it? On your family members.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. One year me and his dad got each other one. Like we'd both famed a famed school pitch and we gave it to each other as a present because we didn't know. That's cheeky that. And you both bought them.
SPEAKER_00:Or split it or whatever.
SPEAKER_02:No, we'd bought them and got them in a fame each, so we both bought it and put it in a fame, and it was like an extra gift along. But um I did it for him, but my fame was nicer, so I said, So I'll just keep this one. Good for you. I said, So my fame matches my house better, I'll keep this one. I love that. It's in one of the like, you know, the IKEA frames that caught 29p or whatever. No, like you know, the ones with the plastic, but it's a plastic frame. But I've got like a glass one with like a metal frame, I think it was. And I was like, I'll keep this one. But yeah, all little um, you know, things to do with the kids. You can give the grandparents as presents that can be quite reasonable.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And another money-saving one that I've just thought of because I had a notification off my kid's dad saying I don't have the Christmas jumpers here for Friday. I was like, yeah, I've got them. Um was another one of these capitalist things that you raised before we went on the mic of like, oh god, all these things. Um, Christmas jumper day at school, Christmas jumper day at the office, blah blah blah. Yeah. Um is all the charity shops. Again, we've talked about charity shopping, all the charity shops do have a rack of Christmas jumpers now from like early November. Yeah. And they're like three quid and they're in really good condition because people have worn them once.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because it's that's a stupid thing about Christmas jumpers. I do hate it, you wear it once, it's such a like bad for the ecology, it's just ridiculous. The whole thing is ridiculous. But you don't want to be the Grinch, so every year you buy them for your kids.
SPEAKER_00:But please do plan to go into the charity shop if you can, like around November and have a look, because like every single charity shopper walk in has a rail of them now from November and they're three quid. Like, you can't argue.
SPEAKER_02:And my child was also yeah on a particular one though, so it has to be a Pokemon one year, it has it has to be a Zelza on one year, this, that, and the other. You can still get them on vintage if you plan ahead. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00:So you know well, unless it's the current thing, like you couldn't get a K-pop demon hunter's one now. Did you get me?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, but you can always get a Pokemon one. Yeah. But I always ended up having to pay them new because he'd say it at the last minute and I wasn't organised. Um or like maybe this is something I didn't do and don't don't regret not doing manage the expectation and say you're just getting a Christmas jumper with Father Christmas on.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, gosh.
SPEAKER_02:But I liked to get him the one he wanted. Um and I just also thought I'm forgotten. No, that was it. Last year when I got offered to be in the Secret Centre in work, because and I was in like two, two, three different workplaces. Just said no.
SPEAKER_00:Good for you.
SPEAKER_02:And I said no to the Christmas night out as well.
SPEAKER_00:Oh god.
SPEAKER_02:Because they were going, do you go and watch these stupid pantomimes? And I was like, no. So it's not really my thing. I mean, I don't I and I didn't like any of them all in that. If you like your people and you want to get them presents, but you can just always say no to extra things and just say, I can't afford it this year.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So raise a fist and say it with us. Sisters in chaos.
