The ADHD MUMS Pod
Real talk from two ADHD mums in the thick of parenting, chaos, and clutter. Gen and Claire share honest highs and lows of neuro-divergent life. We are Mums, but you don't have to be to listen!
We share real, unfiltered stories about parenting, neurodivergence, and daily struggles like executive dysfunction, disorganisation, overstimulation, and Mum guilt. We also celebrate the wins—big or small—with honesty and laughter.
We're both AFAB and biological mums, but this space is for all parents, ADHDers, curious minds, and —even your pets. Everyone’s welcome.
We do swear though, so you probably need headphones if there's kids around!
The ADHD MUMS Pod
ADVENT CHAOS CALENDAR: When Illness Hits Before Christmas, Flexibility Becomes Your Superpower
We face a December full of curveballs: a child with flu, a partner down, an upcoming operation, and a back injury that sent us to A&E. Plans shift, but connection holds as we rework Christmas with honesty, small systems, and a renewed respect for health.
• adapting holiday plans when illness strikes
• practical home systems that lower friction
• reshaping Christmas around a hospital stay
• accepting help and dropping guilt
• acute pain, access to care and resilience
• handwashing, first-defense sprays and echinacea
• sensory barriers to school flu jabs
• empathy, herd immunity and vaccine ethics
• choosing companionship over perfect plans
Further TW: This podcast references at times: alcohol abuse, depression, mood disorders, medical emergency, miscarriage, traffic accidents, grief and loss, teen pregnancy, anxiety, abuse, PDA, low self esteem, and anti-depressant medications, disordered eating, hoarding...
All music written and produced by Ash Doc Horror Lerczak.
Artwork by Gen
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See you next Wednesday! xxx
It's a roll up to Christmas and we're on to the H D Mom.
SPEAKER_01:Still Christmas. We're on Zoom, aren't we? Which we haven't done for a long time.
SPEAKER_00:We're zooming now. We've uh we took a while to set it up, haven't we? And it feels weird, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Very, yeah. But um I'm I'm a bit under the weather and I've got a house filled full of sick people so decided to be here. And we're also very busy getting ready for Christmas, aren't we?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Um so we were only gonna have a tiny little window to record today, so it saves time, doesn't it, by just doing it on Zoom. I'm sad that we're not getting together because I'm I miss you. Me too, but you know what? We should be practicing this anyway because we really want to still offer like uh some sort of service, supporting service to you listeners through like online meetings and stuff. So we'll have to uh get back into it at some point.
SPEAKER_01:So um we because I've got a household full of sick people and I've had some news about my illnesses and conditions. We're doing an ep about seasonal bugs and how they can disrupt your Christmas plans.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, because we've spoken a lot about knowing that you need to do all this planning, but then the best lead plans, as they say. Exactly. You know, it's it's good to have plan B, C, D.
SPEAKER_01:Life happens, yeah. So my son came home from school last Friday with really ill. He had set up a Dungeons and Dragons meeting for the weekend, which he's really excited about. We've got everything ready for that. Um, he was really ill and he was like, I'll see how I feel tomorrow. But the next day he was just he's he's got the flu basically, and he hasn't been out of bed other than to get baths for five days now. Um, and now my partner's got it too, and this was a week that we had loads and loads of stuff to do. And you had extra stuff to do because I have finally got my operation date confirmed, and it's gonna be the 16th of December, which means I'm gonna be in hospital at Christmas. Yeah, um, yeah, so I'm gonna have an early Christmas with my son. Uh 12th, 13th, and 14th of Christmas will be our Christmas Day Boxing Day. 13th and 14th of Christmas, she said, will be our Christmas. Well, December, yeah. So that'll be our Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day. Um, so I'm mad busy getting ready. No, everyone goes, Oh, why is it Christmas in the shops in November and all that? And I'm like, thank god it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but we like I had loads to do with my partner this week, and he's now really sick, and I'm I'm I'm looking after my sick child who's supposed to be our dad's, so when he goes as dad's, I use his room as laundry room.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's a good idea. You've reminded me that's what I'm planning once I move.
SPEAKER_01:I've got one of them, like you know, big what you get from Lakeland. Um, Shyer thing, haven't you?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, do you like it now?
SPEAKER_01:Well, um it basically fill yeah, it we just it's much bigger than I thought it was gonna be. So when I have it in my room, which is the weeks here, I hate it. So and he I have to lie to him and say that I don't have it in his room when he's uh not here. We got the air. He's like, well, he's like the humidity will affect my plants and all this. Um so I had a plan this week to do loads of laundry and I can't. I'm also like nursemaid tours every need. Um and yes, um my partner was meant to be lifting and carrying things, that's not happening. And you know, um I had a year where I had the norovirus that came on Christmas Day. So my whole I had a week, my whole Christmas week, I couldn't go anywhere, and I was just in the house vomiting um and shitting on my own. And these things happen.
SPEAKER_00:I remember a couple of Christmases as a kid where my mum and auntie had the flu and were in bed all day. It was just like I can't really remember how it went, you know. I was distracted by boss presence probably, but I had croup one year when I was um a kid, and it was really, really bad.
SPEAKER_01:And on Christmas Eve, I was in my room, like couldn't breathe and all this, but I wouldn't go downstairs because I was worried Santa would be there and I'd I'd see him. So um I wouldn't go downstairs and tell my mum and dad like how bad I was, and my mum must have come up and heard me, and I was like really, really ill. I nearly had to go to the hospital. And when you've got school-age kids or inertia kids, it's gonna happen. My son said like there was a girl in a school last Friday, and everyone kept saying to her that you should go home because she was that sick, but she wouldn't go home because she wanted her attendance award.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Which are the bain of my life? I hate them.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's that's the proof of that bae in your bonnet, isn't it? Well, in the kind of highs and lows of the week vibe that we're doing to do with illness, I had my wild weekend, didn't I? I was like, Yep, we know we swear on this. In fact, Ash, who does our who does our like theme tunes, came round this morning to help me with a couple of chores at home? Um, he helped me bag up a load of books and take them to the local like train station free book exchange thing. And he helped me get oh, he loaded me dishwasher, and he he actually came up with a great like challenge and solution to this problem. He was like, So, how come you put your dirty dishes in the sink and then they just pile up and it becomes rank? And I was like, Yeah, I don't know. I really need to get into the routine of just putting them in the dishwasher when I've used them, but I haven't. And yeah, and he was like, But why do you pour water in the dish bowl with them all in? I was like, I don't, it's just when I'm trying to sort me cafetiere, it just all goes in and then they get up covered in coffee. He was like, Do you know what? Now you've got your dishwasher, why don't you just jib your wash and up bowl? And then the water can go down the plug when you accidentally put what he sorted it for me. I'm absolutely made up anyway. Wow, he came out because I couldn't do these tasks on my own.
SPEAKER_01:Every woman at home with all the stuff that you say about ash, every heterosexual woman or bisexual woman or pansexual woman must be thinking, I wish I could get that ash, you know. But you know, we're we're all jealous of his girlfriend, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um I was well, I was gonna pay him for a couple of hours, but that was gonna be like work, like he was gonna be like actually like cleaning and stuff. But then when he got here, I was like, I can't think. And he was like, Oh, he kept saying the whole time, like, I'm not taking your money anyway. But um, yeah I'll I'll pay him to help me do some proper job soon, but anyway, yes, he's wonderful. I am lucky, and I'm seeing him again tonight because I'm going to his to record a Christmas single for the band. He's done a boss artwork. But we digress, I was saying he came because um he knew I was like half half able from my normal self because I had this back injury at the weekend, didn't I? Yeah, yeah, like and I was saying, I know we swear on here, but like I don't swear in front of my kids, and oh my god, I was literally like like my two children, five and eight, have literally stood next to me while I went. Oh my god. Like it was like the experience of childbirth, anyone who's had that experience where you just you've you've let go of any fucks about who's listening or what what what what noises you're making or what you what you look like, or I was just like I couldn't control the swears coming out of my mouth that I only said fucking shit along along the way, yeah, but I was gobsmacked I said fuck in front of me two little girls. Um it was utterly like uh shattering pain. Like, oh my god, basically it was my back, something happened in my back. I was literally doing nothing at the time. I stood in the bathroom, one of them was having a wee, one was pottering about just watering the plants. I think no major bending or no lifting, and suddenly my back just something happened, and within like five seconds it had gone from zero to a hundred pain, and I managed to stagger through and get onto my bed, and then I literally couldn't even lift my head to drink the water to take the painkillers that my eldest went and got for me. I had to have a straw, so yeah. After the big painkillers kicked in, I um got to A. Their dad dropped me actually, which was very helpful.
SPEAKER_01:Um and that spoiled your plans, didn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I was there for nine hours. Yeah, I had like tickets for this like community dinner thing. I was taking my mum, and then it ends up me having to basically ask my mum to take the kids, which is not an easy ask for her. She's very nervous and had to arrange for a neighbour friend to take her and the kids basically. Um, yeah, and of course, they don't know what happened, what what it was in my back, but they've put me down for physio. But it certainly, and I feel fine now, but it certainly reminded me of how you know much we take our health and our able-bodiedness that whatever level we have that for granted, you know, because I feel very on edge now that that could happen again at any time, and so it definitely chimes in with this episode that you suggested of us discussing, yeah, misdirection of all our plans if there's illness, and I think the tip for that would be let it go, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Like, yeah, well, yeah, see let's get the frozen on because it's the season. But like, if you can't do your plans because someone's unwell, you're unwell, then you know you're gonna have to put them off. That's the way it is, and you're gonna have to just be like, you know, we'll see those relatives another time, we'll do that thing another time. There's always another time when you feel better, you know, it's just it's gonna happen to some people.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't think I'd ever be spending Christmas in hospital, and I am gonna be, and there'll be loads of other people who do. And you know, if you if you don't have to, if you're not real at Christmas, I guess be we've gotta be thankful that we're not. That's the other thing. Be thankful for our good health.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god, definitely. I remember when when it was the pandemic, and someone shared to me, it was very soon in, and really considering how long it ended up lasting. Probably about three weeks in, and I had a new baby, and someone shared to me this like poem that was basically I can't remember, but it basically was saying um what I'd give for a normal day, and it was talking about the most normal, mundane bits of like a normal day, and saying basically saying something like, you know, yesterday. I think it was a poem that was written about grief and loss, but it was yeah, we we do kind of overlook, don't we?
SPEAKER_01:Those um well, you know, if you expect yeah, if you're expecting to have your magic moments that Christmas and all this, there will be a bit of grief that you don't get to have them, won't they?
SPEAKER_00:But of course, but in terms of the tips and solutions, just as you're saying, like, you know, let it go, and you're saying enjoy it if you are well, like like acknowledge that and and celebrate it to yourself and make that one of your you know extra little wins for this festive season. Like, I'm well, my family is well, we got to do our plans, whatever they were, but also redirect and reroute and make new plans. And so we've got ours, haven't we? I was gonna be a Christmas loner, and you were gonna have just a few like visits throughout the day from your family who are also doing their own Christmas celebrations, and so you said, didn't you? I was saying, Oh, I might go away, I might do this or that. You were like, Well, come and spend it with me, and then it was actually we were recording when you said it to me, and then afterwards I was like, Do you mean it like? And um, so that's it, isn't it? I'm gonna be with you all day. I'm really looking forward to it, and even if you're you know you don't have to host me, even if you're like well, I don't think I'll be able to, Billy. What I mean is, even if you're in a foul mood and you can't be arsed talking, you know me. Like I'll be fine just sat with you with my headphones on or whatever, you know. We don't I'll just be there with you and for you, and I can like do a bit of waiting on.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and um well, she she was talking about going to Whippy on her own and sitting there reading books and all this, and I I um I mean we're goth a horse, but I can't think of anything more grim than being in like a closed um coastal town on her own at Christmas, and it's it's probably like raining and all this. I feel like it's depression on a place, yeah. See, this is the joy of not modic.
SPEAKER_00:Well, this is the joy of difference because I honestly still see that as like highly um delicious. Like when I think about there being no one there, it being like sheeting rain, but like in a picturesque cliff top place, and walking up and down those stairs on the end and like fantasizing the Dracula storyline, and just like I I really do enjoy time alone now, and like I it sounds gorgeous to me lovely any time except Christmas.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think that would be lovely. I think New Year, that would be amazing. Oh, that's worse for me.
SPEAKER_00:Your babies, really, yeah, true. Yeah, New Year's worse for me. I'm really, really soppy about New Year, and I've had to like detach from like kind of celebrating it in a big way because I don't get to like go out or whatever because the kid's dad is always DJing, but um, we do our lovely little traditions of like um we write a list of what we're celebrating from the year that's passing, and we like you know what we celebrate that we achieved or that we experienced or happened in any way. There's no set thing, just what we celebrate, and then what we hope for for the next year, and then we look at our year lists from last year and see, oh, I wanted to do that. Like the kids have had it before where they've gone, I wanted to start to do this, and I've started like my baby once put like I want to learn to read and write, you know, when she was three or something, and then the next year she's like, I've started doing that and stuff, so that's really nice.
SPEAKER_01:Um that's lovely. I tried, I my son was with me for the first time on New Year last year, and I tried to get my son and my partner to do like little let's make wishes for the year, let's celebrate this and that, and they just couldn't be asked, so we ended up playing a boat game and watching the Hoot and so cute, very cute. It was nice anyway. Yeah, Gorgy.
SPEAKER_00:Well, yeah, so illness. I mean, another thing is again.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, there's all them other tips. Go on, I was just gonna say there's all them other tips that we all know from the pandemic, it's and they're about like hand washing and blah and blah, to not catch illnesses. To be fair, it's good to remember.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because to be honest, I think recuperate. I think daily, like normal day, I only wash my hands if I'm about to prepare food or have just been the low. I don't like regularly wash my hands, so it is something to remember. Like the thing of if you've been out and about when you get in, just wash your hands and stuff. Like that's definitely worth it.
SPEAKER_01:Maybe get your kids to wash their hands when they come in from school. Yeah, could I mean that's an we she's rolling her eyes, that's a nightmare of sensory stuff for the kids, isn't it? Yeah, it's just if you've got kids, if you've got kids who are up for washing their hands, you could find with it, couldn't you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, um another thing is someone recommended to me because I was always getting sick around October when my band is busy, and um and yeah, a fellow musician recommended to me that first defence type stuff. That there's all different brands that do it, that you spray it up your nose at the first sign of a cold. And I've gotta say, like, obviously, like any other thing, I fall in and out of the routine of remembering it exists, and I lose it all around the house. But I have found that to be I've felt like I don't know that has saved me from the brink a few times.
SPEAKER_01:Definitely, and I don't know if it's recommended for kids, but maybe if it is, they could have it when they go to school. No, because like if it is, have you echinacea? You've been you've been taking echinacea, haven't you? And that's meant to stop it help against what your immune system and I've been taking it for the past week or two, and I have to say I've not I'm not as sick as my son and me partner.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I um forgot what I was gonna say. Oh, yeah, I've also got the sensory stress with the kids now coming up of they're being offered the flu vaccine in school, and my eldest is just begging for me to not sign the consent form because she can't tolerate it. I think she's had it once and she was just like up the nose, they do it, yeah. Yeah, she was just like, That's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Don't make me have it, I'm not letting them do it anyway, and all that. And then because my youngest is seeing that, she's there going, Well, I'm not doing it that, you know. So I'm like, Oh god, what a shame. Um, obviously, listener, you may have your own views on vaccines and all that. We have ours. I'm feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to vaccinate against things, and obviously, flu is not like a life-threatening illness for most people, but um you're more tolerant of anti-vaxxers, aren't you?
SPEAKER_01:Because you've got some friends who are anti-vax. But I I haven't got any close friends that are anti-vaxxers. I'm totally opposed to it, our race. I'm totally opposed to being anti-vax because it's selfish.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think my tolerance is the over-empathic part of me that just accepts their fear, you know, and fear of fear of the higher powers and the system and the the government and stuff. That's the thing for me. Like, I very much empathize with their doubt and lack of trust and fear of like uh don't believe everything you're told, sort of thing, of our system, because we have been cheated and lied to many, many, many times by our governmental, you know, higher powers. And so I think I just understand that they conflate that with being advised to vaccinate and just sci-fi ideas, you know what I mean? I just fear feel for them because I think it's based in fear, and there's a lot of reasons to be scared, scared of the government, yeah. True, not understanding what what the vaccination like vaccinations have done to rule out loads of illnesses and yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think um I'm just really in intolerant because you know, someone not vaccinating their child could lead to another child dying.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. Yeah, but wouldn't that other child not die if they were vaccinated? That's the bit I don't get about that argument.
SPEAKER_01:Um I guess so. Both of them might be unvaccinated and both.
SPEAKER_00:Well, the ethical issue there is that your child doesn't get a say in not dying from an illness that is perfectly avoidable. Um but obviously there's herd um immunity, isn't there? So people that can't be vaccinated for whatever reason would then be vulnerable to illnesses that come back because vaccinations aren't working as well with herd immunity because people aren't vaccinating all that isn't it.
SPEAKER_01:Well, like if your children personally can't have vaccine because of their sensory issues and that, then someone who's just chosen to not have a vaccine could affect your children. So I get you, yeah. I'm just I just want to make the point that I'm strongly a vaccine, I don't know what the word is for being not pro-vaccine, and to prove it, two days ago I got me COVID and my flu job.
SPEAKER_00:And babe, I arranged to get me flu job to help keep you safe, and I got turned away because I was under 70, but I got invited for it because I'm vulnerable because of like previous illness that lowered my immunity. Um, anyway, I'm gonna try again tomorrow. It was on my list today, I haven't managed it. But we're about to get kicked off. We've gone from talking about illness to pro-vaccine chats, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But we're gonna have to. Well, it is part of it. Yeah, get your vaccines if you can. All right, raise a fist, say it with us.
