The ADHD MUMS Pod
Real talk from two ADHD mums in the thick of parenting, chaos, and clutter. Gen and Claire share honest highs and lows of neuro-divergent life. We are Mums, but you don't have to be to listen!
We share real, unfiltered stories about parenting, neurodivergence, and daily struggles like executive dysfunction, disorganisation, overstimulation, and Mum guilt. We also celebrate the wins—big or small—with honesty and laughter.
We're both AFAB and biological mums, but this space is for all parents, ADHDers, curious minds, and —even your pets. Everyone’s welcome.
We do swear though, so you probably need headphones if there's kids around!
The ADHD MUMS Pod
ADVENT CHAOS CALENDAR: Last-Minute Christmas Post Survival
We map the real UK postal deadlines and then make a case for a calmer, kinder plan when posting isn’t workable. Between reminder systems, digital gifts, and local workarounds, we put connection ahead of a calendar date and reframe “late” as part of the joy.
• second class, first class, tracked, and special delivery dates for UK post
• express options for international parcels
• reminder stacking with phone alerts and visual cues
• opting out of postal gifting with clear expectations
• normalizing missed dates with family agreements
• direct-to-door retailers and card reminders as access tools
• digital gifts and subscriptions as same-day solutions
• click-and-collect, local delivery, and maker drop-offs
• reframing lateness as extending joy into January
Further TW: This podcast references at times: alcohol abuse, depression, mood disorders, medical emergency, miscarriage, traffic accidents, grief and loss, teen pregnancy, anxiety, abuse, PDA, low self esteem, and anti-depressant medications, disordered eating, hoarding...
All music written and produced by Ash Doc Horror Lerczak.
Artwork by Gen
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See you next Wednesday! xxx
It's a role of Christmas and we're not a big date.
SPEAKER_01:Where are they doing from? I'm Claire. And I'm Jen. We're jingling those bells again.
SPEAKER_00:Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. We're gonna talk about postal dates and trying not to miss them and what you can do if you do.
SPEAKER_01:And you're just yeah, you're working with time blindness, aren't you? Probably. Yeah. If you're one of our listeners.
SPEAKER_00:If you're planning to post gifts anywhere, you need to put these dates that I'm about to read out to you on your calendar. Come on, girls, straight in with the vitals. Yeah. Second class. Wednesday the 17th of December.
SPEAKER_01:Is this into the UK?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, this is all the UK posting date. Okay, what date? 17th of December. That's the second class.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um first class is Saturday the 20th of December. These are all assigned for yeah. If you want if you want to track, you need to do it by Friday, the 19th of December.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:And um tracked, but delivered in 24 hours. Because these are you're getting to the more dear options here, Sunday the 21st. It's pretty late, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. But it's only a day later. But yeah, it means you can recoup that opportunity if you need to.
SPEAKER_00:But these are gonna get more expensive. Then you're doing your special delivery guaranteed. That's the 23rd of December.
SPEAKER_01:Bloody hell.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. Good, isn't it?
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But if it's to the rest of the world, um you need to do Parcel Force Worldwide Express 48 by the 19th of December. And Parcel Force Worldwide Express 24 by Monday, the 22nd of December.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So okay, if that's of any interest to you guys, then rewind it down.
SPEAKER_01:Rewind and make it down. Rewind.
SPEAKER_00:Can I get a rewind?
SPEAKER_01:So what I would suggest is that you set a calendar alert on your phone and it's saying like Christmas post and set that for a week earlier. Set it to repeat daily for a week before the final postage dates. And I know you might have a little PDA ignoring it thing because it's going off every day, but that's my tip.
SPEAKER_00:But like do it on a visual one as well, I would say, like writ large, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_00:Because like do both, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:For me, phone alarms are vital though. So coming in with this Christmas postage info, and you're letting people know how they can get things sent off in time, I just want to subvert it immediately, like the teller that I am, and say, Yeah, yeah, yeah. In line with all the unmasking work that we've been doing together, I am really relieved that I'm in a position where people's expectations of me don't include receiving like Christmas cards or posts. Like none of my relatives that live a distance away are remotely expecting to receive a card or a gift from me because I just don't manage posting stuff. Um, and so it's not seen as a disappointment or an offence that I don't send one because it's not my it's not something I've set myself up to try and keep up with. And I think they just utterly understand that it's not in my wheelhouse sort of thing, and we have other times together and we celebrate that, and that I don't get a gift or a present, a card off them either in the post. And it's just I think the more you are part of a loop where you're having to have more balls in the air that you're juggling, the harder it is on you. So if you can rethink it in any way so that you say to your loved ones, oh listen, about posting you a Christmas gift, I've got so much on. Um, what I'm gonna do is get a digital thing, send you a digital gift, or I'm gonna send you uh information in in an email or a text or whatever on the day, which will be telling you what gift I'm gonna give you when we next meet up or whatever, you know, whether you take them out for a meal or go on a trip together, whatever. I'm gonna say, really, really, really consider if this is a really stressful hectic part of your Christmas experience. Yeah, consider stopping doing it with love.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. So that is the next tip that I was gonna give. If you do miss them, it's normalizing it, it's saying, you know, I'm neurotypical and uh it's unlikely that I'm gonna neurodivergent baby. Oh sorry, so no, no. What I was gonna say is we're neurodivergent, but even neurotypical people miss it. That's what I'm meant to say.
SPEAKER_01:So all you neurotypicals, you just need to say to your family, look, I'm neurotypical and I've missed so I miss it too.
SPEAKER_00:No, but you know, me and my brother, he lives um down south, he's got three kids, he's got a wife, so there's five of them, and I do have to send things because I don't see them often enough, and they have to send things to me. Um, not necessarily at Christmas, this can be birthdays and all that throughout the year, because sometimes we do see each other at Christmas and we exchange gifts in person, but we've got a thing, he is supposedly neurotypical, he's a very together person. He misses my bertie on the reg.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, that's good.
SPEAKER_00:We we just say to each other now, oh you know, sorry, I've missed it, it's coming, and that, and and that's fine. Exactly. Yeah, so you're in the I think you're in the majority of you missed the dates as well, you know. So I think it's a more old-fashioned thing. There's a sense of things in the posts.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I mean it's lovely, it's really lovely, isn't it? It's lovely, but um it's also lost its novelty because we receive so many packages around Christmas, which is our deliveries of gifts that we're given. It's not like you know, getting a parcel isn't like it used to be, is it? It used to be some like big thing.
SPEAKER_00:Um and I and I have to say, when I send stuff to my brother and my family down south, it's Amazon. It I don't go to the post office, yeah, send them gifts to Amazon, send them moon pig cards as well sometimes. That's a good idea. And I've actually got all liberties in with reminders on Moonpig and they they sent me notifications.
SPEAKER_01:Well, here's the thing with sending direct through like a a provider like Amazon, which again we are absolutely not advertising Amazon.
SPEAKER_00:We know that fat cat corporations, but it's so easy to use, and we we say about them all the time, but I give myself a break because I'm neurodiverse, what's your excuse, neurotypical people to Amazon?
SPEAKER_01:True, and as with anything, you know, we we can always offset the moral high ground with this or that, you know. Claire hasn't eaten meat helps me hasn't eaten meat for years. That's something that she's doing to save the planet. We don't tend to fly very often at all, do we? We don't run cars. There's a million things that are your you know ecological and like planet saving grace or not, and it's it's like I consider it a disability because definitely I can't go, I can't go to the shops sometimes, so I have to use it. But speaking of using it, I'm saying I'm thinking of like I'm good with spontaneous gifting off that with people that a defo don't remember. I don't get round to sending them a Christmas or birthday present, but then there's been times in my friends' lives where I've been like, I'm thinking of one friend who I know listens, um and I'd never sent her a post ever. She's lived in like East Anglia for years. She used to live in Liverpool, but then she moved, and like we we keep in touch um on WhatsApp, as with most of my friends who even are here, but then when she got a divorce, she messaged me and I sent her a bottle of a bottle of like Prosecco and some chocolates off Amazon to celebrate. I was just like thinking, you know, that was the time that I was moved to actually get round to doing it, and it was a a calm time of year for me. She was delighted, and it felt lovely and special to be able to do it. Kind of felt like being able to be there, and then another friend, like I remember I managed to get round to sending her something for Christmas one year off Amazon, just because she just had a horrible breakup and was feeling really low, and so I'm I got round to doing it. Um, but again, I think then when when it's not part of the norm between you and someone, then it's a bit more special anyway when you do manage to do it because it's just like you know, a little surprise.
SPEAKER_00:That's true, that's true. Um, and if you do miss dates and you do still want to buy people, the um I've keep going on about my digital gift tax where like it's just buy it on Christmas Day, e-gift cards. So subscriptions, cinema, gaming, you can just buy e-gift cards for Amazon, Etsy, as uh anywhere. Yeah, yes. Then you've got your like digital experiences, you can get like meditation apps, audible, um, Spotify online classes, all that that you can do just on the day.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, now I am coveting an Etsy gift card. I didn't know you could do that. That is like Kevin, just to give myself the um the great the like you're allowed to go shopping on Etsy for like bits that you fancy would be fucking amazing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, and there's last minute UK options that don't rely on Royal Mail as well. So you've got things like click and collect gifts from Argos boots and all that, where you could just like you order someone to click and collect thing in their area that they can go and get when they're they're ready. Like if they're in another part of the country. Um, you can get same-day delivery in many areas on things Amazon again, but there's things like Argos fast track, Uber Eat gifts, like you can send them like something off Uber Weeks, yeah. Um like for boxing day. Imagine getting like something for boxing day when you're having a chilling in your pajama. And this one is nice. Um local creators, so on Instagram you can find things Instagram makers and stuff that'll do like a doorstop drop offer if they're like in the area of the person that you're gifting.
SPEAKER_01:Love, gorgeous, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, and if you feel bad, you can always like you know, send an apology to people and say that your gift's on the way, it might be late. And um remember that it's not failing. And Christmas is chaotic, and these rigid deadlines are so hard for our ADHD brains. And what matters isn't the date on the present, it's the connection that you're making with the person, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, absolutely, and yeah, like God, I mean, I can't think of anyone except maybe some of the like I'm not gonna say I was gonna get into a boomer's rant. I can't think of many people that like care about their loved ones little enough versus being embittered about not receiving things in a timely manner. You know, I think a lot of the time we're gonna imagine that we're like really like we've done someone dirty because we haven't managed or whatever. It's like if these people that you're going to the effort to considering even care about you and like you enough, let alone love you and accept you for who you actually are, then they're really not gonna mind. They're just gonna be like, Oh, okay, they're lucky to be getting a gift off you. It's a nice thing that you're doing.
SPEAKER_00:Well, another thing, like reframe this lateness as a strength because I've always appreciated when someone gives me a gift after Christmas, you know, in the slump. You're talking to me, aren't you? Oh, well, yeah, we've had we have a thing where we can go six months with like being in the with gifts, aren't we? Yeah, um, but it's like spreading the joy past that one day of the 25th when you're still getting gifts in the new year, isn't it? Like yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. So um that's that's my tips for including I I've never sent a gift in the Royal Post, in the Royal Post, in the Royal Pell or a card, and if I have it'll be of being late.
SPEAKER_01:So I'm in one of those funny talking days, and I'm loving it, babe.
SPEAKER_00:What what do you mean? Oh, I know my brain's not functioning properly and my throat's hurting, so yeah, um what it is is I don't know, I haven't really got time to tell about it, but I've had to change my antidepressant medication, which I can explain in another one, and my brain is absolutely mashed at the moment.
SPEAKER_01:Oh babe, that's what it is, and I still can't resist laughing at you with your medication.
SPEAKER_00:I don't like my medication, I don't mind being laughed at to be honest, but as long as you are accepting of the fact that it cannot talk, probably, and I'm doing a podcast.
SPEAKER_01:I'm sure our listeners still love you. I get messages like off friends that listen saying, like, oh, I love Claire so much. Anyway, let's go.
SPEAKER_00:And we we love them. We love our listeners, and I love that Claire. All right, we're gonna I love that again. Okay. Raise a face of this, let's say it with us. Sister Zoom.
