HNY BBZ! Neurodivergent New Year!

We share a birthday, a Christmas Eve hospital discharge, and the joy of eating salad again while mapping a year of change with tarot, grief work, and ADHD-friendly tools. Caregiving, body doubling, small money wins, and gentle plans build a steadier start to 2026.

• early discharge from hospital and fear mixed with relief
• Christmas recovery in bed with practical support
• food freedom after surgery and 30 plants a week
• tarot as a reflective framework for planning
• grief around family change and safe ways to cry
• pausing ADHD meds during rest and rebuilding capacity
• packing paralysis, body doubling, and micro-tasks
• selling vintage items for cash flow and momentum
• realistic plans for the pod while recovering

We’ll get back on it, guys. We’ll have a little schedule. It might be a bit under what we would normally do because of Claire's condition, but soon she’ll "be weller than anyone’s ever known me."

Chapters

• 0:00 Birthday, Hospital Discharge, New Year
• 1:00 Christmas In Bed And Caregiving
• 3:20 Food Freedom And Recovery
• 5:20 Tarot As A Thinking Tool
• 8:00 Grief, Family Change, And Crying
• 12:20 Post-Surgery Glow And Gut Health
• 15:20 ADHD Meds Pause And Overwhelm
• 17:30 Solo Time, Rest, And Packing Stress
• 20:00 Body Doubling And Admin Wins
• 22:00 Selling Vintage And Small Victories
• 25:00 Moving Tactics And Stuck Points

Transcript

Birthday, Hospital Discharge, New Year

SPEAKER_00 0:21

We're the ATHD mums. I'm Claire. And I'm Jen. And we're in Claire's bed. We are. And it's Jan's birthday.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

Happy birthday someday. And it's 2026.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Yeah. Woo whoop.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

And I made it out of the hospital. She did. Sorry we didn't tell you sooner. But we've just been too busy living that living that life.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Life after life changing up.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Yeah. And betwixt us and all that business. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

We had our Christmas together.

Christmas In Bed And Caregiving

SPEAKER_00 0:57

But she was discharged early, so. They let me out on Christmas Eve, like a little Christmas miracle. I had some hard times in hospital mentally. I went a bit off the rails.

SPEAKER_01 1:12

Oh, off the rails is harsh on yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

No, I was I was in a state, um, but the so when they offered to discharge me early, I was a bit worried. I was like, oh, am I gonna be okay? But then I was like, yes, get me out. I'm outta here. I can't cope with the um institutionalization in the hospital at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yeah, you were given very little choice or like I don't know. I don't know. It was tough, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Yeah. And because I've had so many bad experiences in the past, I find it really hard to trust anyone. So I'm on total like Molly. Yeah, yeah. So we had a lovely little Christmas here, didn't we, darling? That was gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

I kept joking that we were like two old spinsters in bed. Yeah. And like Claire's son came at some point halfway through the day to visit her. And I was saying, like, after he'd gone, it was like he was a little like a boy from the village who'd been allowed to visit the the very old ladies.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Come over here, boy, and tell us. Oh, me oh, she's dropped a medication, which is in the middle of the sea again. Um, yeah, and um a bit like whatever happened to baby Jane, but like with twins, yeah. Both in the bed. So yeah, we spent our day in bed, didn't we, love?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

We had food brought to us.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Very gorgeous. Yeah, we had Claire's mum brought us like a really nice takeaway. Yeah. We had lots of lovely presents to each other. We watched TV. We did.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

Is that it? Uh, is it? I think so, yeah. And chatted.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Yeah.

Food Freedom And Recovery

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Yeah, and Jenny looked after me. And she's been really But you're gonna think Jenny looked gorgeous. Well, she did, yeah. She was in a pajamas. Wow. She looked beautiful. Um and Jenny's been very kindly coming and looking after me one night a week. It's been my pleasure. To give me neurodivergent partner a little bit of a break.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah, a little lion.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah. Um, and she's just cooked me a beautiful breakfast on her birthday.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Oh well, Claire's Claire's um store cupboards at the moment. We've just been talking about it before we pressed your cords. How she's can I discuss this? Yeah, of course. It's your business, like how she's like craving now that she's able to eat fruits and vegetables which have been like off her like capacity to digest properly for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

I haven't been able to eat a salad for a long time. So, like every meal, I'm like, can I have a salad?

SPEAKER_01 3:57

She's got like the fridge is like hard to shut, full of like fruits, vegetables and s and salads of every variety and fruit juices, and it's a very um Yeah, I'm loving it. Nice place to prepare a meal at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

So I'm like, um I'm just gonna be recovering for a couple of months, couple of three.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

So she's had her Christmas presents reflect that for my mum and dad. We've just been talking about that too.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Oh yeah. Um I got I got I got myself a telly for my bedroom off my mum and like an over-the-bed table to put it on off my dad. Love it off mum and dad. Yeah. Mummy and daddy. Yes. Um mainly to persuade my son to spend time with me in my bedroom. It's an ingenious plan because like yeah, we haven't done it yet. We'll have to do that next time. Well, we've done it, we we spent our night doing our tarot's last night, didn't we? We did our annual bitches.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Our annual Wheel of the Year reading together, and I got Claire some new tarot cards for Christmas, so we each did our own.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

And it was it was seemed really mine was amazing. I'm gonna have an amazing year with it. It was unreal. And yours was pretty great too, wasn't it?

Tarot As A Thinking Tool

SPEAKER_01 5:16

You know what was the greatest thing about it is that it made so much sense to us and that it reflected reality. It was like there's gonna be some really tough times. Which, if you move in house, renovating a house, buying a house, yeah, as a single mum, there's gonna be some really tough times. So I'm glad that it was like those bits and the place where they were on the months of the year made total sense, didn't they? For when I'm gonna be in the deepest part of packing and when I'm gonna be actually moving in. But then it was like there were certain months that reflected a kind of calm after the storm and like being settled and specifically talked about like domestic like safety and happiness, and like the sun, and the sun was in place in like July, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

And you were saying, Oh, that's you and your garden, and and we do have to recognise the sort of neurodiverse attraction to the esoteric and any tools that like explain life, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 6:17

This is the thing for us, isn't it? Like, I I'm not like my relationship with the tarot is like built and built just through acknowledging that it's a w it's a helpful guide on how to think about things. Yeah. Um I love it.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah, I mean I've always had like an attraction, well, more so when I was younger, astrology, I learned how to do the charts, the tarot, all any occult things.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

When I was like 18, Claire used to be like the the in-house tarot reader at our club night we put on together.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Um and I took it seriously, and it's just like because I was always looking for any guide or explanation to life or whatever. I gave it all up. Um, but then I've I've got like a sort of more of an interest than a belief in it now, and you can use it just as a tool for yeah, like you say, meditating on thinking about life and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Yeah, and like guidance, isn't it? But not not from some other place, like your own guidance, how you interpret things.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah. Um and we've had some, you know, struggles through Christmas, like everyone else, haven't we? Like ups and downs, families, all this.

Grief, Family Change, And Crying

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Yeah. I I had a couple of I I had a triggered night after a family get together where I was just like, oh, like just really, really aware that like my family of origin is no longer exists. Like the family I grew up in is shattered really, like, because certain people have passed away and certain people have fallen out. Um and it was just a bit of a feeling of like, oh, you know, I suppose it's mortality realistically, isn't it? Because obviously as you get older that that happens to everyone, like literally everyone, like your original family will mm disperse and die.

SPEAKER_00 8:15

Like sorry. Yeah, it's the passing of time, isn't it? Some people you only see their family once a year at Christmas, and it's that like every year you get everyone's getting older.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Yeah, and like you know, people change as well, unfortunately, which I find really hard to handle. Like people that were once steady, you know, in my life have changed and are not so dependable emotionally anymore, and that really like rocked me this year.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

And that's neurodiversity, isn't it? Like unable to accept the change in people sometimes. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Um, but do you know what? Like I handled it fine in the moment, and then when I got home, I was just like honest with myself, I was like, I feel like shit, that was hard. But that's the score. I feel a bit shit right now, and that was hard. The end, rather than trying to like force myself into solving it or blah blah blah. And then actually the next day.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Bit of grief for the past, you let yourself cry, all this, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Oh well, I made myself cry. I was like, this has to come out. Um yeah, I can't remember how I made myself cry. I think I'd thought of a particular song that might make me cry in the bath. Oh, of course.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

I wish I had that ability to make myself cry, you know? Um I had a big cry yesterday, actually. Because I had some big cries in hospital. Yeah. But um you need it sometimes, don't you? You do. And I'm not good at getting it out.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Watching certain films can be helpful.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Because I think you don't have to be directly immediately crying about the stuff you need to cry about. It's just getting yourself going, isn't it? And then like you can be crying over that person's sad relationship story in a film, and then you're like, Thank God I'm crying now. Let's think about what I'm actually crying about.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

You've just reminded me, actually, I did have a bit cry at Stranger Things.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Oh did chat.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

And Strange Things Nerd guys. Um, and no spoilers, but there was a bit with um Max and Holly and the ideal running up that hill on, and I was like, Oh god, cry, cry, cry.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Oh god. Well I I um was tempted to cry the other day. I finally started watching Handmaid's Tale on. I held news.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

Oh my god, it's 216, 2016, or Is that when it was? Well I mean I don't I've no idea. But it wasn't a cut. I actually think it was, you know.

unknown 10:50

Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

There was a scene with that woman this woman's work and like all, you know, the oppression of women. And I'd obviously seen all the rhetoric about oh my god, like modern America is becoming a handmaid's tale in front of our eyes. Yeah. And I'd maybe that's what had got me interested in actually watching it so I could understand the reference. Um, but god, it was that got me. Anyway. Has a little cry in the back the next day. Um I absolutely will not detail this, but I don't really get periods, but there was an indicator that it was hormonal. That I was it was my period time. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Well, guys, as you know, that's a total hysterectomy, and man, I'm glad to have it all gone. It's wild, yeah. I feel good, you know. Like obviously I'm in pain, I'm recovering from saying I've got all the that's gonna take ages, but I feel like I can feel that some bad shit's gone out of me.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

I mean, I was saying, and I wasn't putting it on, yeah. Like I was saying almost immediately, like, oh my god, you look so cute, you look so fresh. Like she has had this like kind of from the inside glow to her face despite being so very unwell since this off.

Post-Surgery Glow And Gut Health

SPEAKER_00 12:14

Like there's something like they have literally took some like poisonous shit out of the house. A lot of it. Um and I can and it's just amazing to like be able to eat from the full bounty of nature.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

I mean you've got into this um 30 30 plants a week for your gut, haven't you? And I'm taking heat.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

When I was in hospital, I just had to have like podcasts and audiobooks and all that on constantly to get through. And I listened to like the whole series of What's My Age again, the Catherine Myan podcast. Where they do like um about people's biological age versus their actual chronological age. And it's really interesting, but one of the main things is you've gotta read 30 plants a week.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

And oh, I've been doing about 70 plants and I was gonna say you're on 60 at least.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Oh 30 a day. Even you mean tea close, I don't know. Oh yes. Oh yeah, even normal tea. Even coffee cans. Well, um, and I'm gonna obviously this is gonna be like a thing for me to see how nutrition affects ADHD, isn't it? Oh, in fact, you will get the um difference, yeah? Yeah. I've not been taking my ADHD medication at the moment. Don't tell the GP or the psychiatrist or you'll stop it. But um I don't need to take it when I'm lying out in bed, to be fair, do I?

SPEAKER_01 13:46

No, you you you're well better off to give yourself that break from it, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00 13:51

You know, it's and I can't feel when I'm trying to focus on any little small task they've got that I'm scarcey.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

But Well, speaking of the ADHD struggles specifically, my kids have been away quite a bit over the Christmas period, haven't they? Because they went away for the real Christmas for a few days, and then now they've been away visiting family in Italy. And um I have had a week, uh just over a week, to myself at home and I, you know, have all my stuff that I have to do. But I do uh I do love to not have to go out the house, you know, it's just part of my handy, overwhelming brain is like I just find everything outside of the house so over stimulating and so much to process.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Um But on a positive note, you've got to recognise that you've started to enjoy spending time on your own in your house as well.

ADHD Meds Pause And Overwhelm

SPEAKER_01 14:51

I have, yeah. I have started to actually like you know, you're a good influence. Like the other night I thought of you, because I was kind of thinking, well, I'm sat watching this on the telly and I'm really enjoying it, but should I not just make it nice? So I got myself a little cover and like actually sat a bit more comfy and thought, no, this is what I'm gonna do now. I'm not just having a quick break to watch a bit of this for a minute. I'm gonna watch it and just rest. But I've been trying to start packing for a move, so that involves the pre-decluttering stages, yeah. And the putting the boxes together and starting to fill boxes because I want to get a head start. And it is absolutely head fucking minefield to me. Like I've just I've been working like a dog, but you know, with me work from home stuff and me that. And it's just been like constantly having like 15-20 minutes there at a wall breaks, yeah, or watch another 15-20 minutes off the show and watching and then pause it again, which is not my plan, it's just coping.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Um and Oh, it's so hard. I just it's just so hard to process how to do it and in what order and And you're like, oh you're on your own, you've got no one to turn to.

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Well, it's lack of body doubling as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:19

It's like it's just so difficult to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 16:22

But I don't mean emotionally, by the way, I'm fine, but body doubling on on Zoom or whatever, you know, because I'm just sassy. Oh, I'd love that. Even if you were watching your show and you had your phone up there. Yeah, you can just like and you can just like talk through oh I'm doing this and doing that.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

I love that. Let's start doing that.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

Yeah. I mean, we've talked about body doubling on here before, but it's just like ADHD people seem to function better if they have someone with them when they're doing a task, even if they're not involved in the task or anything.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Even just the presence. And I said to you recently, didn't I? I was I was appreciating that it was a function, but I was feeling a bit guilty. I suddenly realised, oh my god, part of the reason that I'm like busy out of the room all the time, busy, busy, busy when my kids are there, it's their body doubling me, and I didn't realise it's like they return from their dads and I'm like, go! Yeah. And I suddenly like I'm doing all the stuff that I want and need to do.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Oh, as soon as I turn up at your house, you start tidying, don't you?

Solo Time, Rest, And Packing Stress

SPEAKER_01 17:24

Oh, same with anyone, isn't it? If someone comes and I like get up and start tidying this or that. It's not even to do with not remotely to do with like their perception of my space. It's just kind of like no, it's just I've some someone's pressed the on switch.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

And I I when I have like administrative tasks, I find them impossible, but if someone sit at me I can do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:47

Yeah. Um I had a big paperwork to do, didn't I, last week and I managed to do it here.

SPEAKER_00 17:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Just by I was in your son's room, wasn't I? But I was just I had my laptop and the paperwork and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

You had no one things that could pull you focus, it could you No, and it took me about three hours, didn't it?

SPEAKER_01 18:05

It was and it was a real slog, but like I managed it. Um, I've sold some clothes on Vintage in the new year, that's another bit of my news. Yeah. Made like 200 quid on like my vintage wardrobe items.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

I was selling them for dirt, like well for like tip for like all us and the listeners and that, like, how did you manage to pull the focus to do that?

SPEAKER_01 18:30

I think basically it was just the right day where I didn't have too much else on. And I thought that's my project today is get those items listed.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

And I didn't do the thing that I always thought was my best plan technique of like take all the photos and then I'll list them at my leisure. I just kept doing it directly. Take the photo, list the item, upload the next. Um, what else? I actually finally went for listing.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

You gave yourself like deadlines with it as well, didn't you? Because you move and I it was like, if you haven't sold by this, I'm gonna donate.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Yeah, exactly. But I I actually had some items that I had in my vintage wardrobe that I was thinking, oh, I must sell that, but I didn't think about it going on vintage. Things like old camera film that that I'd ended up buying in a job like years ago or something. Um like Fujifilm film, yeah. I thought eBay listed it on vintage. Someone had told me it was I'd given it away previously, but you never came to pick it up. Like I gave it away on a on a mate's group. Oh yeah. And someone who's a photographer claimed it and then side messaged me and said you can sell that for at least 35 to 50 quid, you know. And I was like, Don't worry, I'll I'll give you it. But he never came. I listed it for twenty, thinking like I'm sure he said thirty to fifty. Twenty. It literally sold immediately. And I didn't feel any sense of like, oh damn.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

No, like

SPEAKER_01 20:00

'Cause it could have been more.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Well it's just closer in your house and you've got twenty quid for it.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Exactly. Um and what else? Like, oh, an an old necklace that like used to be part of my band costume that I was given by like a a h a brand. Um 15 quid immediately sold. Boss. But just a bit of costume jewelry, you know, just so I was starting to think, wow, I should get some of the meat costume jewellery listed. Um stuff like that. So that was a that was a boost to the old moving funds.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Definitely. I'm proud, yeah. I had to um before I went into hospital, I I had to like sort my flat out so people were gonna be able to come in, so I had to let go of my vintage stuff again.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

I know. I know, and I nearly sent you a photo of all my vintage parcels today when I first went to the post office, but I never because I was like, I'll give her a FOMO about the vintage stuff, but like in a minute I'll be getting rid of the last bits of mine.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

For me, once it's gone, it's gone. I don't get the I'm not bald.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

No, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Once I've made the decision, I have still got some stuff in the loft.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

Oh yeah, you've got a loft. A loft.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

A left.

Selling Vintage And Small Victories

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Um This is the thing with me though, with the indis the the inability to like crack on with me packing is I I kind of go like to the start and to the back. It's like I d oh, it's just so odd. And the autistic traits What do you mean? You go to the start and the back. I like a bit of the front and a bit of the back. Um I I like I find it hard to be in the right place. I like jump ahead thinking like I'm dead excited about that I know in advance, which I've never done before on a move, about these unpack first boxes for each room, you know. So it's like Oh yeah, um, I'm excited that I know that this time and I've got that knowledge. Yeah. And I kind of really want to pack them. They're the bits of the phone.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Last things, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

And or then I'm at the back, which I'm seeing as like I'm just looking at the entire job that needs doing and not yet knowing which bit I should be up to or should start with, or you know what I mean? I'm either looking at the back ends of the project and feeling stuck, or I'm excitedly thinking about the final bit and the actual move in day and all that. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Have you asked Chat GPT for any help?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

I I should. I should. Get yourself a little schedule. Yes, that's a good idea. Well, yeah, but remember what when it was telling you to do like 10 minutes in the evening when you were working full-time, chronically ill, and living in, you know, some aspects of a hoarder house at the time.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

But to be fair, on Chat GPT, I did say I'm moving in two weeks, I'm in full-time work, this, that, the other. So it came up with all it really could. It was like, well, do ten minutes a day should have just said cancel. Like move higher. It was working within parameters that were a bit like unrealistic. True. I did it though. It's a nice meeting now, you'll do it too.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

I'll do it, yeah. I um I did get a few boxes packed yesterday. I decided, okay, you know what? It's it's random, it doesn't feel particularly helpful, but it's boxes I won't have to pack in a few weeks nearer to the time. Yeah. Is I just took off all the books off my bookshelves in the living room thinking, well, I'm not gonna read them before I move. Exactly. Started packing them, but then I ran out of parcel tape, didn't I?

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Well, that's the advice I've given you is just packing it and you're not gonna use Exactly that's so I was like saying pack summer things, pack like your your Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

But I know what you mean. I'll have to think, like, you know, find out where all the stuff is.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

You know, like summer clothes are and like buckets and spades if you've got that type of business. Um right.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

It's all the stuff you're not gonna use, Gail. Right, I'm gonna have to go home and get a wash, because I'm going on for a little Bertie lunch with my auntie.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

She's gone to Glam herself.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Um we're gonna have to have a little meeting, aren't we, about our plan for the pod for the year.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Well, when you come over for these little days to look after me, we'll do a pod. We'll just get on it.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

Yeah.

Moving Tactics And Stuck Points

SPEAKER_00 24:52

We could have been doing it last night when we were doing tarot, wasn't we? So we'll do it like we'll get on it, we'll do one. So we'll get back on it, guys. So we'll speak to you again. Um and we'll have a little schedule. Um it might be a bit under what's the way under what we would normally do because of my my condition. Yes. But soon I'll be weller than anyone's ever known me. Well o well o well ooh. I'll be running around partying. You'll have Lou Tones, I'll be like, I can't be barely partying, I'm too busy partying all the time. I don't know why I keep saying I'm gonna be partying, I'm nearly four and fifty, and it's hard out.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

This is it. This is gonna be you're gonna propel into back into the rave scene.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

Yeah. Um, oh yeah. I was about to say my raving days are done, but they're not actually. No, don't be sad. They're never done.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

No, not you.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

No. All right then. Raise the fist and say it with us. Sisters in Chaos!