FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE®: USE BOUNDARIES TO CREATE EASE

Boundaries are a tool of self-compassion, my friend. In this episode, I share two boundaries you can compassionately set with yourself to maintain ease, as well as 2 ways to shift back to a state of ease when needed.

I love hearing from you - share your thoughts, ideas, and questions with me at karli@flipsideofmidlife.com.

xo Karli

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Transcript

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Hey there, my friend. It's me, Karli, your favorite Gen X dealer of positive vibes, Life and Wellness Coach, and community builder for women in midlife and beyond. Thanks for joining me here for this episode of FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE®. I'm talking about ease all month long. If you received my email this week, you know that I'm talking about boundaries. Boundaries you set with others, and here in this episode, I'm sharing two boundaries you can set with yourself to help create ease. These boundaries help you create an awareness of when you are overexplaining and when you are pushing yourself too far and pulling yourself away from a state of ease. I'm guessing that you can think of situations where you have found yourself over explaining. Whether it's a time when you said no, a request you were declining or you made a mistake and you just keep talking and talking and talking. I know, I can think of many examples of this, my friend. What I notice now that I have started to build this awareness is it's almost like an out of body experience. I can hear myself continuing to speak and I'm thinking, why are you still talking? Just stop. Maybe you'll have a similar experience, my friend, as you are working on your former habit of overexplaining. Overexplaining often goes hand in hand with overthinking. I know for me, it relates to when I'm feeling guilty about saying no to something or about a mistake I made. The best mode is to simply be honest, be kind, and keep it succinct. That, my friend, will create so much ease for you. The other boundary I want to mention today that you can set with yourself is when you find yourself pushing too far. You've crossed that line from ease into feeling stressed or overwhelmed. This can happen in so many different ways. Maybe it's resistance to changing your mind to a commitment you've already made, but you just aren't in a place to do it anymore. Maybe it's when you're sick and you go into work anyway. This boundary is about recognizing the warning signs that come up for you before you get to that point. This is about honoring yourself. Having self-kindness and self-compassion. Boundaries are all about that, my friend. Boundaries stem from a place of self-love, self-compassion, self-kindness, whether it's boundaries that you're setting with your self or with others. Boundaries are a way to protect your ease, and knowing when you are not in a state of ease is crucial. Think about how you know that about yourself. What happens? For me, I know that I'm holding my breath, or I'm breathing rapidly. I may have a pit in my stomach. I may feel a pressure in my chest. I may have my shoulders up near my ears. I'm just so tense in my neck and upper shoulders and upper back. These are signs that help me recognize that that's happening. My self-talk, what's going on in my head that my body is taking its cues from, right? I'm giving you some examples you might recognize or maybe you don't. So it's important to really think about what that looks like for you. Those are two self boundaries you can set. What about how you get back to ease once you know that you've gone too far, when you hear yourself over explaining, or you know you've pushed through further than you should have? Here are some ideas for you. First is to breathe. Oh, we could talk about breath work in probably every episode. Your breath is a really good tool for showing your body that it's okay. You are safe. That might look like taking a nice big inhale and then exhaling immediately, but for a longer period of time than you inhaled for. Another way is to do box breathing, where you're inhaling for four, holding for four, exhaling for four, holding for four. Both of those breath work patterns will help your body know, okay, I'm safe. Probably my favorite way to find ease is to get outside, actually step out a door. Feel the sun on your face. Feel the breeze. Hear the snow crunch. And if you're unable to actually get outside, then find a window. Look for green spaces. Look for details that you see in nature. Look in the sky, look at the clouds. Imagine the little patterns in the snowflakes that are coming down. And if you can't get to a window, then go to your computer screen and pull up a nature scene. Something that you love. Whether it's green space or water or mountains or the desert, whatever feels so good to you. Pull that up and look at that nature. It will bring your heart rate down, impact your breath rate. And you will notice that you can find ease more easily when you have done these things. So there's some tools for you, two boundaries you can create more awareness around. I'd love to hear from you, my friend. Please share your thoughts and feedback with me and your ideas for 2026 episodes. I'm at karli@flipsideofmidlife.com. Please reach out. In the meantime, if you're not getting my emails, jump to that link in the show notes and transcript and sign up. I'll meet you right here, on the next episode of FLIPSIDE OF MIDLIFE®, where I am still talking about ease. Take care, my friend. Be well.