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EP 62: Dinklage in a Dinghy is Called a Dinky

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Good Morning!!!!

This week it's all about noses, loving yourself above all, long cons, and tiny tiny rowboats. Join us as we tear apart Penelope and Roxanne while being mindful of their carotid arteries.

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Wendy:

Foreign. Good morning.

Bridget:

I'm Bridget. I'm Wendy, and this is Flickin. Bees. Settle in. This week's theme is big noses.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

Big noses or weird physical weirdness.

Wendy:

Unusual facial features. Yes.

Bridget:

So we've got Penelope and we've got Roxanne, and both are available for streaming on prime for free. Want to start with Penelope?

Wendy:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bridget:

Oh, actually, what's. What's new? Before we start?

Wendy:

I. I went to my parents last night, and they just got a new house, so. And they also have a new dog. Very cute little puppy. Her name is Harper.

Bridget:

Oh, Harper. I love that name. For a person or a dog.

Wendy:

Yeah, it's fun. We didn't anticipate staying the night, but we were having fun.

Bridget:

And I was reeling from your text because you said drinking got serious.

Wendy:

After dinner. I was like, oh, I think I'll have a glass of wine. I had a second glass of wine, and I was like, all right, we have to decide now if we're staying or going, because I am not going to be able to drive home. We.

Bridget:

Yeah. Why not? Safer.

Wendy:

Yeah, safer. And got to spend a little bit more time with my parents.

Bridget:

Don't. D and D only. F and B.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Right off the cuff. Whoop, whoop.

Wendy:

Man, what an honor to be on this podcast with such greatness.

Bridget:

That's right.

Wendy:

That was really good.

Bridget:

You know. Here we go. All right, so Penelope and Roxanne, you want to start with Penelope? Okay. The gist being that there's a curse put on the family they're cursed with. Their first daughter is going to be born with a pig face, which doesn't happen with the first daughter that's born because that was an affair. Baby.

Wendy:

Yep.

Bridget:

So then when Christina Ricci's character is born, she does have a pig face. Her mother is played by Katherine o'. Hara.

Wendy:

Yes. Which is so great.

Bridget:

She's supposed to work out of that when she falls in love with the blue blood or when. No, when another blue blood accepts her.

Wendy:

I think the prophecy is one of her own kind. Yeah. They interpret that to mean she needs to fall in love with a blue blood.

Bridget:

I did see similar similarities between this and so many movies about love and accept yourself. Yeah, her pig nose is cute.

Wendy:

I know. That's the thing that is funny about it, because Christina Ricci's cute girl. Right. And the only thing they do is, like, make her nose turn up a little bit.

Bridget:

Oh, it's more than that.

Wendy:

It's more than that. But it's not like she's some monster and her.

Bridget:

Her Pig ear. She has pig ears, but they don't stick out from her hair. Maybe they had those clipped when she was a baby because they couldn't do anything about her nose because it runs through a carotid artery.

Wendy:

Right, sure.

Bridget:

Sure it does. Well, actually in Roxanne, so did his. He couldn't get a nose job either. So you're stuck with your features. So are we.

Wendy:

All right.

Bridget:

I've known people who have like legit pig noses. Yeah, it's a kind of nose. It is.

Wendy:

I said that too. When we were watching it to Joel, I was like, I know lots of people that have a way bigger, more piggy nose than Penelope. And maybe that's part of the point, is that it's really not even that big of a deal. But everybody, like, is so disgusted.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Are terrified.

Bridget:

The men. But just, just a moment to talk about the mother and her reaction to her own daughters, the way she looks, that's heartbreaking because she's getting the message constantly that she's not good enough. Yeah, that's BS from your own mother.

Wendy:

Yeah, well, it rings a little true for me, but I. I thought of you immediately in that. The last scene where.

Bridget:

Oh yeah, I know what you're gonna say.

Wendy:

She, Penelope, finally gets her real nose. So it does end happily, I guess. Quotation marks that way. And her mom goes, oh, now that you have that carotid artery taken care of, you could just use a little turnip. And she basically tells her she needs a nose job.

Bridget:

Right.

Wendy:

You're like, mom, holy cow.

Bridget:

Oh my God.

Wendy:

She says something that mothers and daughters are supposed to talk about. How to make ourselves prettier.

Bridget:

Are we?

Wendy:

No, but like, it's something that happens especially if you, you know, have a. A critical mother or not even really a critical mother. They think they're being helpful cuz they know that life is easier when you're attractive and when you don't stick out.

Bridget:

When you stick out, you have to throw up all these defenses to yourself, feel safe.

Wendy:

Safe. Yeah. There's also a real pretty prejudice. People that are considered conventionally attractive, on average, they make more money a year. They get promoted more often. And that could be because they're just more confident because they've been not told their whole lives. They're terrible. Or it could be like a bias that people have. They just tend to want to pick the more attractive person if. If two candidates are qualified or even if the attractive person isn't as qualified as the ugly person. Quote unquote. Right. Subjective.

Bridget:

But I think that's particularly unfortunate. Just that whole thing. If anyone should love you unconditionally, it should be your mother and your father.

Wendy:

Yeah. And it seems like her father's a little more open to like.

Bridget:

Yeah, let chill.

Wendy:

Letting her just go at some point because they try to keep her a secret. So it makes it even worse.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Because everybody was like, oh, what's wrong with her? They've built it up in their head. When they. Like these suitors that they keep bringing to her, they don't warn them. They just show her her face and they're shocked and they run away.

Bridget:

All my life I've been rejected.

Wendy:

Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Had they known from the beginning that she had a pig nose?

Bridget:

I mean, the whole two way mirror thing is so funny because it reminded me of a reality dating show that was on a while ago. No, I couldn't get into it because.

Wendy:

It was so dumb. Is it? Yes. Love is blind.

Bridget:

No, I feel like it was called the Cube or the.

Wendy:

Oh, the Circle.

Bridget:

The Circle, Yeah.

Wendy:

I tried to watch it.

Bridget:

Different shape, but I got close.

Wendy:

I didn't like that one either. But Love is blind, however, I really did get into that.

Bridget:

Okay, but all those dating things are dumb, but yeah, yeah.

Wendy:

Talking through a wall, but yeah.

Bridget:

The bottom line being you need to get to know the person and not their face or their body. The way they look is so superfluous. You have to be able to challenge each other's intellect, laugh, all that stuff. I mean, and they were doing it, Penelope and James McAvoy, when they were playing chess and they had banter between them, teasing and. Ugh, I love it. James McAvoy, again, I love him. He's got like a slight overbite. Just so cute.

Wendy:

He's one of those people that always looks like he didn't shower, though.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Is that on purpose? You like that?

Bridget:

I like him. We could shower together. Honestly.

Wendy:

You'll help him get clean, huh?

Bridget:

You betcha. Get all those little nooks and crannies.

Wendy:

Yeah. No, he's cute. He's just a little greasy. Hermy. But as I.

Bridget:

He was in that movie with Angelina Jolie. Do you remember when they were.

Wendy:

Yeah. Okay.

Bridget:

We looked at Atonement.

Wendy:

Atonement.

Bridget:

Oh, that's a. That's a heavy one.

Wendy:

I have not seen that in forever. And yeah, I had to watch it for like a class one time.

Bridget:

Oh, yeah.

Wendy:

I think it was a film class, but still.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

And I thought it was really long and boring, but.

Bridget:

It'S different because it's that got that twist at the end and you don't expect it, and you have to kind of live through their whole journey until you get to that realization. I liked that movie. I liked him in it. I'm not gonna stop.

Wendy:

It's fine.

Bridget:

Christina Ricci did not have to audition.

Wendy:

I saw that it was. Yeah.

Bridget:

Reese Witherspoon was the producer. He also plays a funny role in it. That role was not a Reese Witherspoon role. She was trying to be kind of street wise and.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Come on.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

A couple little braids in your hair isn't gonna do it.

Wendy:

They tried to make her hair look a little funky, but it wasn't really working. She's too cute and, like, sweet.

Bridget:

Sweet and bubbly.

Wendy:

Yeah. No.

Bridget:

I have googled the knitting pattern for Penelope's scarf that she wears because it's f****** am amazing. And that is not an easy. It's like a honeycomb. Two or three different colors. It's a trick.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

So she uses that scarf to cover her nose, which is so awkward.

Wendy:

I know. I've never had a scarf stay up that well.

Bridget:

Oh, I can't even get a headband to stay up that well. Honestly, it just flies off the back of my head. What's wrong with my head? I don't know. And then the first place that she goes is to that tavern that McAvoy mentioned.

Wendy:

Right.

Bridget:

To get a beer on. On tap.

Wendy:

Not a brand.

Bridget:

Didn't ask. Yeah, didn't ask a brand. Beer on tap. And then needs a straw. As does Steve Martin and Roxanne.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

Can't drink a beer with a scarf on your face or a glass of wine with a huge nose. That's when we first see Reese Witherspoon. It's another cool friend story how you really do need your girlfriends. Good friends.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

She didn't care. She didn't say, take it off. Let me see your supposed botched nose job.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Which, you know, wasn't the truth, obviously, why she had the scarf on, but my God, the girl was all over tabloids and s***. As having fangs and. Yeah, Gross hair. And she's not a f****** bore.

Wendy:

Right? Yeah. The one that ends up being engaged to her goes and tells the tabloids that she's got. Even though they've. They usually make all the suitors sign an NDA. I guess he didn't care. Went and told the tabloids and told them that she had spike drawing of her.

Bridget:

And it's like, I want to be the police sketch artist working when someone comes in with the pig faced human story.

Wendy:

Have you ever seen that experiment they did with crime drawers? What do you call them? Sketch artists, I guess.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

And they have women come in and describe themselves to these artists.

Bridget:

Okay.

Wendy:

Have one of their good friend or their sister or somebody come in and describe it too. And the artist never sees the person. The differences that you'll see in the.

Bridget:

Way that the friend makes them prettier.

Wendy:

The friend makes them a little prettier, and it's much more realistic. Interesting. They. The way that they describe themselves. Like it doesn't look like them at all. The Reese Scarce Reese. Yeah, the friendship story.

Bridget:

Right.

Wendy:

And she just immediately embraces Penelope and doesn't care. She's just like, hey, let's go hang out.

Bridget:

She's just like we said, she's not exactly the typical Reese Witherspoon character because she's kind of like free and loose.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

A cool chick. And I never thought of Reese Witherspoon as a cool chick. Just more of a bubbly little ball of sunshine, really.

Wendy:

I do like.

Bridget:

Or an overachiever.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

Remember election?

Wendy:

Election. Yeah, Election and Legally Blonde. Those are both like little overachiever roles.

Bridget:

Yeah. It's a good role for her.

Wendy:

I do like all the little like weird hairstyles that they put her hair in with the. It's very like 2000s esque, which is movie's like what, 2006.

Bridget:

She really helps Penelope find that sense of freedom that she never had before. I mean, what is more freeing than being on a Vespa?

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Are you kidding me? Who has a Vespa and just carries around two helmets, right?

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Come on. Not even mannequin had a helmet to wear. Call back earlier, we even said that we both thought the pig nose was cute.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

That Priscilla aesthetic took an hour and a half to put on and she couldn't talk during the whole thing. And she herself says that she is a compulsive talker. So I can't even imagine. I wonder if there was a lot of eyeball gesturing.

Wendy:

I would be okay as long as nobody talked to me.

Bridget:

It's hard, right?

Wendy:

Well, yeah.

Bridget:

When you're getting a massage, are you a talker?

Wendy:

No.

Bridget:

God, sometimes I am.

Wendy:

I am when I'm getting my hair, because I can, you know, my face is down. I'm not making eye contact with them. I can kind of, you know.

Bridget:

But when I'm gonna face.

Wendy:

When you're getting massage.

Bridget:

Sorry, it's like.

Wendy:

Or you're getting a haircut when you're getting a haircut. Like, their head is, like, right there. I feel like it's weird not to talk to them.

Bridget:

One time my hair person told me that they actually have a section of their studies about halitosis. I was like, that's interesting. Never even considered it. You have to be pretty close to someone to smell their breath, usually.

Wendy:

Unless it's real bad.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

I mean, I've known a few.

Bridget:

I wouldn't go back to a stylist that had halitosis.

Wendy:

Me either. That would be.

Bridget:

How often do you say halitosis? Say it now.

Wendy:

Halitosis.

Bridget:

Yeah. You know, I'm super interested in that whole latex prosthetic world.

Wendy:

Yeah. I would love to do something like that for Halloween or something some year.

Bridget:

Fun fact, there are f****** TikTok videos where makeup artists are showing you how to make Penelope's nose. You got to make a mold of your own nose and then do more.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

I was super shocked to see that she was so famous that kids were all dressing as Penelope. It was like a colloquialism. I don't want to look like Penelope or anything.

Wendy:

Yeah. I thought it was funny when they go to the Halloween party and then Penelope puts on a Penelope mask.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

So that nobody can recognize people. Probably would have just thought it was her in a costume. She shows up in.

Bridget:

What was his name? Johnny in it, sure. He went by another name, which was a hoax.

Wendy:

Yeah. He was pretending to be somebody that he wasn't, but.

Bridget:

Okay, let's get on to that angle, too, because this is a common theme where you're trying to con someone and you actually accidentally fall in love with them.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

And then you have to confess the con and hope that. That they forgive you.

Wendy:

Yeah. I think the. Of that happening in movies is so astronomically high.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

And in real life, I think that that would never.

Bridget:

No, I've never heard of that. Well, I don't know many con artists. I don't think I've been conned, but it happens.

Wendy:

Liars.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

But maybe not con men. Exact.

Bridget:

So he's working with Peter Dinklage. At the end of the movie, he's like, slowly going by in a tiny little dinghy.

Wendy:

Is it. If it. If it's Peter Dinklage in a dinghy? Is it a dinky.

Bridget:

Yes.

Wendy:

The end. He's kind of interesting character in this. Like, at first you're like. He's, like, trying to expose Penelope, but he kind of falls in love with her, too, like, from afar.

Bridget:

When he finally sees her, he's like, whoa. That's just interesting.

Wendy:

No. Yeah.

Bridget:

Because she is so darn cute. And it's even a cute pig nose.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Little wrinkles in it.

Wendy:

I know. I almost do get a little disappointed when she goes back to her regular nose.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Okay, Good for her. But she was kind of cute with the big nose, right?

Bridget:

Just go with it. Yeah, but it was when she fully accepted it. F*** the world. I'm just a purse. And that was the huge transformation.

Wendy:

And that's the secret, right? If you love yourself, you can break the curse, even if your mom.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Freaking witch.

Bridget:

Working on it. Fun fact. We'll get to this later. But you know that Roxanne is based on Cyrano de Bergerac? I learned that both James McAvoy and Peter Dinklage played Cyrano in different things. McAvoy on the stage and then Dinklage in the movie Cyrano, which did watch following watching Roxanne. And it was so good. Obviously set in a completely different time period. Instead of a big nose, you have a person of small stature, but his. His comebacks and his eloquence and his wit are just on fire.

Wendy:

Okay. Have you watched any of the Game of Thrones?

Bridget:

No, but there are three Game of Thrones cast members in this movie.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah.

Bridget:

Crazy, right?

Wendy:

Yeah. I see a lot of out in other stuff that we've watched now before. I knew the actor because of Game of Thrones. Right. Because like Peter Dinklage, now that I. I didn't really know his name before then. You go back as an elf.

Bridget:

Yeah. He's that angry Little Elves.

Wendy:

Yeah. He's in Penelope. He's in a whole bunch of stuff that didn't know Recognize that it was Peter Dinklage.

Bridget:

Good for him. But he's amazing.

Wendy:

The reason I bring up Game of Thrones is because his character is like that funny and witty and smart. Super smart to all the ladies. Yeah.

Bridget:

H***, when we were watching Tiptoe, we're like, d***, look at you on that motorcycle with special pedals. It was hot. Honestly. It's a sweet take on a fairy tale of loving yourself, I guess. And James McAvoy, just because he looks like he needs a shave and maybe a shower, he is a thousand times less gross than Robert Pattinson.

Wendy:

Fair. I have read that. He doesn't.

Bridget:

He's not a frequent shower and neither am I.

Wendy:

Me either.

Bridget:

But sure, if I brushed my teeth today either.

Wendy:

I haven't. I will tell you. I just changed my clothes before you came here because I slept in them and we weren't planning on staying. So we got up and left. And I'm realizing now, yeah, I didn't even brush my teeth.

Bridget:

But good on you.

Wendy:

I changed my underwear for you, though.

Bridget:

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Wendy:

But if I was going to be acting and I knew that I was going to have a romantic partner standing close to me, I would shower. That's the difference. Like, we're. We got three feet away from each other. You can't smell me.

Bridget:

Do like hippies not notice their own funk?

Wendy:

I don't know.

Bridget:

Not that he's a hippie, but that's who I think of as the. The quote unshowered. Right, Masses. Coffee break. Let's talk about our beans.

Wendy:

Hey, Bean flickers. Have you followed us yet? We are on Instagram and Facebook at flicking beans Pod. Make sure you like and subscribe and leave us a review.

Bridget:

Food.

Wendy:

Why? Why are hippies smelly? They just don't want to use the water.

Bridget:

I think they think that Pachuli covers all.

Wendy:

Fair. I mean, I don't know. I like patchouli.

Bridget:

I do too. Smells like the woods.

Wendy:

But I wouldn't douse myself in it just to.

Bridget:

Patchouli doesn't cover weed either. Just for you. Just so you know, kids.

Wendy:

Yeah. All right. So. Love yourself.

Bridget:

Yes.

Wendy:

Penelope, always the key.

Bridget:

Love yourself. Yeah. Roxanne. It's 1987, right in my prime. Steve Martin. You don't have to turn on the red light. Which is not about this movie, but also a really good song.

Wendy:

I have always loved the name Roxanne. I don't know if it's like Rocky. I don't know. Roxy. Roxanne. I don't like. I like the name.

Bridget:

Well, you know, I don't really like the name Bridget, but I'm stuck with it. Wendy is sweet. Peter Pan and Wendy.

Wendy:

It's literally from Peter Pan.

Bridget:

Oh, the first.

Wendy:

First time it was ever written in print. Anyway.

Bridget:

Nice. Roxanne. It was an adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac, which is a guy with a big old nose who is eloquent and witty and is in love with a woman. And in this case, it's Steve Martin's CD Bales. And those are the same initials as Cyrano to Bergerac. Yeah, There's a lot to unpack here. It's the same as before. You have to tap into that person's brain. And that's where love starts. Not in that physical. You're so hot. But it sidetracks you by hotness for sure.

Wendy:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bridget:

What's the first thing you notice about a person before you've talked to them is their shoes. No, but you know, it's the way they look. You ask a person, oh, their eyes. Oh, you know, their smile or their b*** or their shoes.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

But yeah, you have to connect. She knew she was in love with him, she just didn't know that was him.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

And that's another situation where you're lying, you're conning, but you fall in love and then you have to at some point confess. Yeah, it's the every sitcom.

Wendy:

Yeah. I guess they think they're not going to fall in love, that's the thing. Or they're never going to be able to get that person. So that's why they do it. But otherwise it seems so short sighted because you can never keep up a lie like that forever.

Bridget:

You thought that because she was so beautiful, she was way out of his league. So why not help this dipshit? He could see how taken and how much his letter made her swoon. I don't feel like he particularly had low self esteem about his feature until he was sort of in quote competition with Chris. Let's say Chris wasn't there. Things would probably have progressed naturally between those two. So something in him made him feel less than, but also the ability to build that wit and that those comebacks over your lifetime basically of being made fun of.

Wendy:

Yeah, that scene is really cool and powerful where somebody makes fun of him in a restaurant and he goes, he just says nice job, big nose.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

And Steve Martin turns down. He's like really? Like you're looking at this and all you could come up with is big nose. And he goes and, and he bets him like he can't come up with 20.

Bridget:

He makes him throw a dart.

Wendy:

Oh yeah, the dart. Right.

Bridget:

This is two out of three and they're both on 20. Yeah, the guy's like darts champion, blahbity blah, but such a d***.

Wendy:

Yeah, the worst meteorological. Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.

Bridget:

Fashionable. You know, you could de emphasize your notes if you wore something larger like Wyoming personal. Well, here we are, just the three of us. He actually spewed out something more like 20 to 25. A couple were cut, but it doesn't, if you really count them, it doesn't pan out when somebody goes, how many is that? And somebody says 14. Yeah, it's more.

Wendy:

Okay.

Bridget:

One of the lines, one of the jokes that he says is how nice of you to give the little birdies something to perch on. That is literally from Cyrano.

Wendy:

Oh, nice yes.

Bridget:

To get into the nose itself, obviously. You know, latex nose. They made cast of his nose, blah, blah, blah, and do all that. They had a separate nose for him every single day, obviously. I assume once you pull it off, it's probably ruined for re attaching. What else do you do but leave it on all day? So he would literally go into town, have lunch. He would roll his eyes after not so long a period at all. The people who were saying, nice nose. And he's on his way to the bathro at one point, and somebody actually goes, why the long face? That he was like, finally. Thank you. Somebody with something different to say. It's like when people used to make fun of my name. Things that rhyme with Bridget. And then the one that came up with b****. It was a high. High marks. But bird s*** was even better. I mean, you gotta give props where props or do true.

Wendy:

I'm a big believer of, like, you can make fun of anything as long as you make it funny, make it interesting.

Bridget:

Clever.

Wendy:

Yeah. I think there's not really anything off limits as long as it's funny. Some of the funniest things I find funny is when somebody really does get a good insult at me.

Bridget:

Yeah. It has to be good. I mean, let's look at Letterkenny. You know, that's. There's so much to love about that character.

Wendy:

Physical comedy. He's so light on his feet. Yes. Climb the house and flip off to get down. And like, all that's so great.

Bridget:

More than once, he does it like Olympian. I would be in love with him with one of many of the things that he did that I would just be like, oh, my gosh, what a guy.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

You know, it doesn't. It doesn't matter what they look.

Wendy:

Yeah, he's got a big nose, but otherwise it's just like Penelope. It's like. Yeah, the feature's kind of weird, but they're not unattractive.

Bridget:

What about that joke where he can satisfy two women?

Wendy:

Yeah. Yeah. I did. I did think about how.

Bridget:

Oh, did you know things.

Wendy:

The nose could be an advantage.

Bridget:

Exactly.

Wendy:

In certain situations. Although.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Seems like it'd be uncomfortable for him, but.

Bridget:

Well, you know, you can breathe through your mouth, Dan.

Wendy:

True. That was a good one.

Bridget:

It just did a little. That joke was actually cut for the theater version, but it's in the streaming version.

Wendy:

Nice. That movie is only PG or something.

Bridget:

Oh, probably.

Wendy:

And it said, like, nudity, all this stuff. It doesn't have full nudity. It's suggestion and nudity. We do Have a tie back to a previous movie and seeing Daryl handle naked right away.

Bridget:

Yeah, that's right.

Wendy:

It must be in her contract. She gets locked out of the house naked.

Bridget:

She's just good at being out naked in nature. You said you didn't want a blanket sarcasm. We don't get a lot of that around here. So genuine. So the supporting characters, especially Shelley Duvall, who plays the cafe owner and longtime friend of cd, is the one who actually rented her house out to Roxanne. So she's familiar with this whole circle.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

And she is so great. She is instrumental in basically revealing the lie. I'm so glad it turned out okay. It's like I really was invested in these two.

Wendy:

I really wanted it to end up good, too. You know, Steve Martin's so charming in it.

Bridget:

She.

Wendy:

She really did connect with his words. But at the same time, I don't know if I would be able to get over the fact that he basically tricked me into sleeping with someone else. If there hadn't been the element of maybe I would be able to get over it. He let that happen. I didn't let. Seems kind of like, what would he have done? Well, he shouldn't have helped Chris in the first place.

Bridget:

Chris was an instrument that he channeled through. I slept with her, but it wasn't actually me.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

I think he felt like he succeeded in winning her over, in opening the door. It's dumb that she's so intelligent and she didn't realize.

Wendy:

Well, especially when he starts talking in his own voice.

Bridget:

Hanging in the bushes. And CD talking instead of him. My voice sounds different. Girl, you're being dumb because you want to believe that it's the hot guy.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

You know, who doesn't want the hot guy? Maybe me. I mean, really, what's the hot guy into besides his own looks? I like to mix it up. I like to lift weight.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

And whatever.

Wendy:

Well, that's the problem, is that being hot is a lot of work.

Bridget:

Isn't it, though? Yeah.

Wendy:

You have to, like, follow your diet. You really have to go to the gym if you're not also into that. To that extreme. It's not gonna work out if guy just is off doing those things and you're. Can we sometimes have nachos?

Bridget:

Well, it's rough for us being so hot.

Wendy:

Right.

Bridget:

You know, but we understand the work it takes. Steve Martin's character. He's, like, so freaking hot in so many ways. He beats up two guys with a tennis racket. He can satisfy two women at once.

Wendy:

He's an acrobat.

Bridget:

Smoked fish with lemon slices.

Wendy:

Somebody that can cook is hot.

Bridget:

Just turned around, he had two cheese. Cutery boards.

Wendy:

Shark, Gucci.

Bridget:

Boom. He is the f****** man of the world. Cook. Right.

Wendy:

Good job.

Bridget:

Rhapsodized the hero. Now fires. Yeah, his nose gets there 15 minutes before he does. So he's punctual.

Wendy:

Yeah, I love that.

Bridget:

Boom and boom.

Wendy:

I think we did it.

Bridget:

Did we do it?

Wendy:

I think we did. We flick some beans. Okay, love you. Bye.

Bridget:

Bye. 10 more seconds and I'm leaving. What did you say? 10 more seconds and I'm. Wait a minute. What'd you think I said? I thought you said earn more sessions by sleeping. Well, what the h*** does that mean? I don't know. That's why I came in hand. Party all night long.

Head Shot

Bridget

Co-host
Head Shot

Wendy

Co-host