FLICK'N'BEANS

EP 118: ANACONDA - Whose Idea Was it to Put a Squirrel In My Mouth?

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Good Morning!!!

This week we took a trip to the theater (with a stop at the butter station of course) to fully experience both the length and girth of a giant snake puppet. Listen as we mourn it's death when Paul Rudd "rudders" it. 

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Wendy:

Mamacita donde star Santa Claus. It's like. Some of it's in English and some of it's in Spanish. It's cute.

Bridget:

I only know Jingle Bells in Spanish. Oh, and a song about a dad. Rooster.

Wendy:

Oh. What it's called.

Bridget:

Good Morning. Good Morning. I'm Bridget.

Wendy:

And I'm Wendy.

Bridget:

And this is Flicky Beans.

Wendy:

Yeah. Big one today.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

We went and saw the new anaconda reboot with Jack Black and Paul Rudd. And yes.

Bridget:

T zon in a cameo by ice Cube and JLo. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. That was so ridiculous. I have not belly laughed or laughed till I cried in a very long time. This movie was hilarious.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

I mean, yeah, it's a snake. And you know how I feel about snakes. Just knowing that there are large snakes in the world.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

It puts me on high alert.

Wendy:

This snake is so big. I don't think any anaconda really gets this big.

Bridget:

Absolutely not.

Wendy:

But it was that way in the original film, too. The snake was just so astronomically big. But it adds to the drama.

Bridget:

I also feel like they are not as fast as they're portrayed. Probably not, but they could swallow a man.

Wendy:

Yeah. In the water. They're pretty fast. Gah. Yeah.

Bridget:

Did you know there's a place called Snake Island? It's inhabited solely by snakes. All kinds, in fact. I'm good. Yeah.

Wendy:

I'm not, like, to the level of your snake fear. I'm not scared of women that way, but I don't really want to go to an island that's covered in them.

Bridget:

I've encountered a ball of mating, garter snakes. And there's just this hissing sound. It's. I can't with that. But this snake was terrifying, but CGI and also very funny.

Wendy:

Yes. And the handler of the snake, Santiago, was hilarious. He just loved this snake so much, which. I get it. It's your baby.

Bridget:

Have you ever lost a snake? No. Just a reg. Human person.

Wendy:

Yeah. Spoiler alert. There's going to be a lot of those. The actor snake meets an untimely demise because Paul Rudd gets scared and throws a snake into the rudder of the boat. He ruddered him. He got ruddered, which is so gross. And the head, like, somehow comes back up. They have a burial for it.

Bridget:

Yes.

Wendy:

Fire into the water. Light it on fire and push it into the water. Like some Viking funeral or something.

Bridget:

Oh, God, that was so funny. Well, they're being watched by the cops because there is some diamond smuggling going on and they're talking to one another and they're Like, I don't know what they're doing. They're having some kind of snake funeral. They're watching it through their binoculars and we get to see their view through the binoculars and how ridiculous it looks. But the snake handler offers to go out into the jungle and find them another snake.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Come on.

Wendy:

Being a snake handler and being able to hunt down a live anaconda are very different skill sets.

Bridget:

Right.

Wendy:

I doubt he got that one. Caught that anaconda that he had out in the wild.

Bridget:

Oh, no. Probably had it since it was a baby. Wherever you get baby anacondas, I don't know.

Wendy:

I'm sure there's underground breeding rings.

Bridget:

For real. That's how you can get a chimp and all that crap. Exotic pet sales.

Wendy:

I've never seen an anaconda.

Bridget:

I don't think my anaconda in, like.

Wendy:

A zoo or anything.

Bridget:

I wouldn't want to.

Wendy:

I would think it was cool, but they're so big. It would be cruel probably, to keep them in captivity.

Bridget:

Yeah. If you saw an anaconda in real life, it probably wouldn't even move. The bigger you are, the lazier you are. Well, no, I shouldn't say that because ele are pretty awesome.

Wendy:

True. They're not lazy. Yeah.

Bridget:

Yeah. But they're not going to boa constrictor your body, maybe with their trunk. Oh, I never thought of that.

Wendy:

What are we watching? Something that had an elephant in it. And the joke was like, I don't know, something about smelling things through your nose. Or does it. When you take water up your nose, up your trunk, does it sometimes taste like boogers? And then the elephant was like, no. Well, yeah, sometimes.

Bridget:

Oh, my God. Gross. Yeah. And the way that they can, like their trunk is like a little mouth. It moves. Ew.

Wendy:

Ew.

Bridget:

But elephants are pretty cool. When I was a kid, I saw one, they did like a. When the circus came to town, they did a parade. That little baby elephant walked by and I thought, weird, it has hair on it.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Bridget:

Anyway, back to snakes. Yeah.

Wendy:

If you don't know the premise of this, the movie is about some people who have decided to reboot. Reboot the 1997 Anaconda film. And it's about them remaking it. And so they go down to the Amazon, which was actually Australia, and the original set by Sony did get destroyed in, like, a storm. And they used it, but they just made it look like the snake did it.

Bridget:

Right.

Wendy:

And so that torn up part that they find of Sony later really was Sony stuff that Got destroyed in a storm.

Bridget:

Okay. I wondered why it would be still there. That is great.

Wendy:

Yeah. So I guess Australia looks like the Amazon in places. I believe it. They're both tropical.

Bridget:

Speaking of Australia, guess what I watched yesterday. Crocodile Dundee. Wow.

Wendy:

I haven't seen that in a very long time.

Bridget:

How funny it holds up. Jack Black and Steve Zahn, they've worked together a ton.

Wendy:

Steve Zahn is so weird, and I love it. But, yeah, he's been in some good stuff. He's also really good in that show. Is it called Upload? Have you seen that? Yeah. You upload your consciousness into, like, a heaven.

Bridget:

Okay.

Wendy:

And you get to be in whatever heaven, depending on what you can pay for. So you're, like, still having to pay for your afterlife. But he's. He's in that. And he's a veteran who died pretty young, and he's been in this simulation waiting for somebody to come along and be his friend. And if. And then. So the main character comes along and they're like, besties. He's there because he got free status from being a veteran, but he's. Everyone else around them is rich. But anyway, it's a good show.

Bridget:

I'll check that out.

Wendy:

He does the clueless sidekick thing very well. The peeing.

Bridget:

Oh, my God.

Wendy:

The scene so Jack Black gets bit by a tarantula, and they think that if you pee on it, it'll help, which I don't think helps anything. And I think the myth about this jellyfish has been debunked too.

Bridget:

Oh, really?

Wendy:

Yeah. I don't know.

Bridget:

One thing that's true, though, is that pee is sterile.

Wendy:

Yes, pee is sterile.

Bridget:

That is disgusting to think about. So maybe you're cleaning it.

Wendy:

Sure.

Bridget:

With your pee.

Wendy:

Your pee is probably cleaner than the salt water or the river water.

Bridget:

The premise of that scene is that Steve Zahn is notoriously pee shy.

Wendy:

Paul Rudd couldn't do it because he didn't have to go. He was dehydrated. I don't know why Jackpot couldn't pee on himself, but. What? The angle wasn't right.

Bridget:

It's right. Poor Steve. Zahn says he can't be standing up either.

Wendy:

He's like, there's one more thing. I have to be sitting down.

Bridget:

So they put themselves into this formation with Paul Rudd on all fours, Chad lying down. Steve's on sitting on Paul Rudd like he's a chair in order to pee. I'm also gonna throw out there. I don't. Tarantulas really do anything. If they bite you, it Depends on.

Wendy:

The tarantula, because some of them are poisonous. I don't. I think most of them are. And it's very rare that they'd actually bite you.

Bridget:

Right.

Wendy:

Who knows if Jack Black even got bit? I know he didn't really see it, so.

Bridget:

And it was a tiny one, to be fair.

Wendy:

It was. It wasn't even that big of a triangle.

Bridget:

They didn't want it to take any spotlight away from the Anaconda. Fear Factor is coming back. Yeah.

Wendy:

Johnny Knoxville's going to host it.

Bridget:

Goodness.

Wendy:

Do you know how Wife Fear Factor got canceled? Or what was like, the final straw?

Bridget:

Did somebody die?

Wendy:

They forced them to drink bull semen. And they said, this is too gross. We can't air this. That was kind of the end of Fear Factor.

Bridget:

Well, it seems silly to hang up your hat over one failed episode. Yeah.

Wendy:

I think it was probably floundering at that point.

Bridget:

Some of the things were so dangerous.

Wendy:

Yes.

Bridget:

Yeah. Why don't you hang off of this helicopter? Like 21 Jump Street?

Wendy:

Oh, yeah. Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. Yes. Say something cool.

Bridget:

Something cool.

Wendy:

So that kind of circles back to all the jokes that this Anaconda movie makes about filmmaking. They all three are childhood friends, and they make this movie when they're kids called the Quadch.

Bridget:

God, that was so great.

Wendy:

And we get to see a little bit about that in the beginning. So they just have these dreams of making films, and when they're taught. Talking about stuff, it's just. It was like cracking me up. Because they're like, themes. Yes. And other. They kept going. Themes, themes. It has to mean more than just a snake. And all the stuff that you would talk about.

Bridget:

I know. I reached over and sniped you. Like, we gotta talk about that.

Wendy:

Yeah. So what is the theme in this one? It still sort of is that follow your dreams.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

The movie. And they decide that the movie they're making is also that theme. But the movie that we're watching is that theme.

Bridget:

Very meta.

Wendy:

It's all very meta. But it's funny, whenever they have, like, a creative epiphany, like, you always think you're so freaking smart when that stuff happens. Sometimes you are, but sometimes you're like. Later you look down at your note that you had to write down and you're like, oh, yeah, that wasn't that great of an idea.

Bridget:

Like your. What was that? Taco note.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah. Wee Wee La Quesadilla. I found out later that was my drag name or something.

Bridget:

Okay.

Wendy:

It was one of those, like, your first name Is letter is this. And your second. Whatever. And I wrote it down because I thought it was funny, but I didn't remember that's what it was.

Bridget:

So mine would be like, BB Hamburger.

Wendy:

There you go.

Bridget:

The news flash is I've now had a hamburger.

Wendy:

All right.

Bridget:

And French fries. I put ketchup and mustard on it. Verdict?

Wendy:

Anyway, the heaps themes, ice Cube and JLo do both make appearances. Ice Cube, he's got a hood over his face and stuff. You're like, that's got to be him. We're both like, that's gotta be him.

Bridget:

Why was he wanting to save JLo that many years after he was on.

Wendy:

The Sono Sony boat that wrecked?

Bridget:

They were doing a remake too.

Wendy:

Yes. You learn these huge boats go by them on the river and they're like, what the heck? And one of the people on that boat, the lady's like, yeah. Sony's rebooting Anaconda. No new ideas anymore. Ha ha ha. And then everyone finds out that Paul Rudd didn't really have the rights to Anaconda, like he'd said and talked everybody into going to the Amazon to make this movie. And that was a bad thing. But later they find the all their boats wrecked, and Ice Cube is one of the survivors.

Bridget:

Of course he is.

Wendy:

And he's got to go find jlo.

Bridget:

Yep. This is not gonna stay in h***.

Wendy:

No. I love the part when they ask him for a selfie.

Bridget:

Oh, God. Yeah.

Wendy:

Like, we're in a life or death situation right now, but he still has to f****** take a selfie with his fans. Could we take that again? I'm not sure my whole face was in it.

Bridget:

Shut up. Steve's. On, God.

Wendy:

They perfectly captured so many Hollywood tropes of, like, working in Hollywood and being an actor and all that.

Bridget:

I got a little bit sad when Jack Black died. And what's their plan? They need to get across a field and they need to provide a destruction. So their idea is, let's just drag Jack Black's body out into the field, and it will distract the anaconda because he'll go for it. But the body wasn't enough.

Wendy:

No. Yeah. They find Jack Black regurgitated by the snake, and they think he's dead. And with him is a pig. A whole pig. They tape the pig to his back and put them out in the field. And then Zahn is like, wait, here's also a dead squirrel.

Bridget:

Puts it in his mouth. Anacondas loves squirrel meat. Who doesn't?

Wendy:

Universal.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

That's going to be your Next thing to try, isn't it?

Bridget:

Oh, God.

Wendy:

I don't think I've ever eaten squirrel.

Bridget:

I wouldn't want to. Who's eaten squirrels?

Wendy:

You're only eating squirrels if you don't have other options. Right. Like people eat squirrel because they have to, not because they want to.

Bridget:

I'd be surprised at anyone who could catch one.

Wendy:

My grandpa used to hunt squirrels. I think it was more of like a get off my property, you're annoying kind of thing. He would go out with his c*** dogs and hunt coons and squirrels.

Bridget:

I draw them nearer and feed them nuts.

Wendy:

Same.

Bridget:

And I mean, they'll get really tame. Yeah, I love me a squirrel. Anyway, turns out Jack Black is not dead. Yeah, I guess. But didn't wake up while he was being drugged through.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

And having a pig strapped to his back, or I mean a wild boar actually. It was pretty huge.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

And a squirrel in his mouth. His eyes flew pop open. He's like, what the f*** is going on? But you know, if, if the snake really had eaten him, his bones would be broken.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah.

Bridget:

Yeah. Because they squeeze it first. Or do they?

Wendy:

Well, in his case, the snake just ate him. He bit him and ate him normally. Yeah, they would crush you first. He got lucky.

Bridget:

He got lucky and he was able to get up and run. What the h***'s on my back? Oh, I forgot. The pig wakes up.

Wendy:

So it's squealing, it's squealing and he's running. That part killed me.

Bridget:

That's one of the parts where I was crying. I could hardly catch my breath. It was so funny.

Wendy:

Well, and Jack Black is the king of physical comedy.

Bridget:

And that part is not a spoiler alert because they totally had that. And it's on the movie poster.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Yeah, he did spit out the squirrel later. Says, whose idea was it with a song squirrel in my mouth.

Wendy:

Our cat's got this new toy that's like fuzzy and it looks way too much like a real dead mouse to me. And I keep stepping on it. And that alone is just heebie jeebies. I can't imagine if I woke up with one in my mouth.

Bridget:

God d***. I got a new cat toy. Yeah, just came this morning. Poor people out delivering amazons at 4 in the morning.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah, they're put it on the.

Bridget:

Table and it's motion sensored and it does the laser, the little red dot in random patterns. It goes for 15 minutes and then it won't go again for two hours. Murray went nuts. Yeah, he loved it.

Wendy:

Good.

Bridget:

And you can do different speeds if your cat's not all that active.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

But, man, he goes nuts. And then he lays on the linoleum in front of my door on his side, looking like a lion does after they're hunting. Just like, so proud of himself.

Wendy:

Satisfied?

Bridget:

Oh, just like a mega beast. Look what I did. Oh, this thing is so cool. Besides that, you know how they save 15 minutes of play? That's a long a** time.

Wendy:

Yeah. To be running a ribbon around with your hand.

Bridget:

You get tired, forget about it. This is gonna save me while I'm working all day.

Wendy:

Yeah. That's awesome. Do you think if you shined a red dot that a snake would chase it? I don't know what their eyesight is, like, actually.

Bridget:

Right. I know they smell through their tongue. They're Jacobson's organ.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

I. Why do I know that?

Wendy:

I don't know.

Bridget:

My hermit crabs, they smell with their antennas. They got two little ones and they kind of move around, like, independently. It's like, oh, he knows there's food in here. Go get some of that turkey meat. Alone. That scene was worth the whole movie.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah. It was so funny. And I think the JLO scene at the end, I think we're leaving room open for another one, so we'll see.

Bridget:

Yeah. JLO comes to the door and says she saw it and she loved it and she wants to be in their next project.

Wendy:

Yeah. Wants Jack Black to direct it. Yeah. Okay.

Bridget:

And I didn't expect that ending, but it needed something. You can't just go home and go about your life right after that adventure.

Wendy:

Yeah. Do you think he just went back to making wedding videos with his dad?

Bridget:

Oh, God, I forgot all about the wedding videos.

Wendy:

Yeah, that part was funny.

Bridget:

That was. That's not fulfilling your dreams. Right? He said, I'm living a B plus life. I mean, if you're satisfied with a B plus life.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

You know, he wanted to make movies, not wedding videos.

Wendy:

Very different things.

Bridget:

He was proposing movie, like, wedding videos to the couple.

Wendy:

Well, this couple didn't appreciate it, but I've seen couples that have done movie trailers. There's a market for that. I feel like he's just not talking to the right couples.

Bridget:

That's very cool. That takes me back to when my friend Corey, a former guest host, did that wedding. And they were supposed to come out with sword fighting.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

And it was like, tink, Tink. And it was over. And he'd been sitting there, like, filming it for them. He's like, whoa, this is so bad. Anyway, what Are you gonna do?

Wendy:

Yep.

Bridget:

Yep. It's your big day. If you wanted to tink, tink. I guess make it memorable.

Wendy:

I want to encourage everyone to go check out our video and photos on our Instagram or Facebook page because they have this really cool display in the theater that you could get inside of, basically. So it looked like you were also running from the snake. So it's out there.

Bridget:

I think that we really pulled it off.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah. It's convincing.

Bridget:

Is it?

Wendy:

J. Lo's gonna be knocking on our door any moment. Be like, can you also act in this? Your running was so convincing.

Bridget:

I hate to say this, but I imagine you would probably hate the jungle.

Wendy:

No.

Bridget:

Oh, okay. I was thinking of your sweaty face.

Wendy:

Well, yeah, I would hate the jungle if I had to try to keep makeup on my face.

Bridget:

Oh, yeah.

Wendy:

But otherwise, I love the jungle. I liked Costa Rica's in the jungle.

Bridget:

I need to go to the jungle.

Wendy:

Yeah, you would Like.

Bridget:

I've never been.

Wendy:

I want to go to the actual Amazon at some point.

Bridget:

My friend Kate is trying to convince me to move to Panama.

Wendy:

Yeah, we've looked at it. It's right next to Costa Rica. It's a little easier to migrate. What's the word? Immigrate. Immigration to Panama is a little easier because they have a lot of relationship with the U.S. nice. I highly recommend it. I would go see it if you've been thinking about it, because it's so good.

Bridget:

I would see it again, definitely. And I can't wait for it to come out on streaming.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Are you going to watch the first one now?

Wendy:

Yeah, I think so.

Bridget:

I saw it in the theater.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

When I worked at the group home, I took one of the clients to see that movie.

Wendy:

We also covered it in an episode. I don't know. I should have looked up which one.

Bridget:

But no, we didn't.

Wendy:

Yeah, we did.

Bridget:

Did we?

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

Huh?

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

God, we've done so many movies.

Wendy:

I remember distinctly because I thought that Jon Voight was Christopher Walken, and I kept talking about Christopher Walken. You're like, he's not in this movie.

Bridget:

Do you know who they wanted at first for the Jack Black character?

Wendy:

Mm. Mm.

Bridget:

Or for Nicolas Cage. He wanted to play it more hardcore, like Jon Voight. And they were like, no. And he gave all these ideas and they were like, again, no.

Wendy:

It would have been a very different movie.

Bridget:

So different.

Wendy:

Yeah. I couldn't see Nick Cage in that.

Bridget:

Plus, he's too tall.

Wendy:

Yeah.

Bridget:

All those guys are short. Well, Paul Rudd.

Wendy:

Paul Rudd's tiny.

Bridget:

Yeah. They're all short.

Wendy:

Yeah. He would have been towering over, like, Risky Business.

Bridget:

Short. Short actors. Because Tom Cruise is short. That's one of my favorite movies now. I mean, this one, it's definitely in the top 10. Definitely.

Wendy:

Okay.

Bridget:

I mean, at least for this year. It's gonna be a favorite forever.

Wendy:

Yeah. One of the best movies of this year. For sure. For sure.

Bridget:

What if they got an Oscar?

Wendy:

I hope they do. And I hope. Yeah. His son gave him that little Oscar statue that you would get, like, in a shop in la, and it just says, worldwide, world's Best Doug.

Bridget:

Yeah.

Wendy:

Instead of dad, go Doug. And he's like, it's better this way. I'm like, I agree. World's Best Doug is better.

Bridget:

That statue came in handy. It's true.

Wendy:

Which it would. No way. It would have broke so fast. But, yeah, he kills a snake with it later.

Bridget:

Remember, everything everywhere, all at once with the statues that they had to put them up there.

Wendy:

Oh, yeah. I want to rewatch that. I feel like I do, too. That movie warrants multiple watchings because Soma, it really is everything everywhere, all at once. And I. You missed stuff, I think.

Bridget:

Oh. Anything else?

Wendy:

I don't think so.

Bridget:

Did we do it?

Wendy:

I think we did it.

Bridget:

We flick some beans.

Wendy:

Okay. Love you. Bye.

Bridget:

Bye. Party all night long.

Head Shot

Bridget

Co-host
Head Shot

Wendy

Co-host