FLICK'N'BEANS

EP 135: FRESH - How to Escape a Cannibal When You Don't Have a Butt

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Good Morning!!!!

This morning we contemplated whether we could or would eat human meat to survive in order to trick a cannibalistic captor. Meh, probably yes, but hopefully wouldn't like it. 

It's probably delicious though....


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>> Wendy:

Foreign. Good morning.

>> Bridget:

I'm Bridget.

>> Wendy:

And I'm Wendy.

>> Bridget:

And this is Flicky Beans. Do you have some kind of, like, protective dome over Ankeny or something? Because it was pouring rain. I mean, wiper.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

New wipers. On, like, fast. And as soon as I got off your exit, there's no rain.

>> Wendy:

I don't know. I think it already rained here.

>> Bridget:

Oh, okay. Well, fine.

>> Wendy:

I mean, it's wet.

>> Bridget:

That's my gripe.

>> Wendy:

Okay. I don't know. It hasn't been raining since I woke up, but. But everything's wet.

>> Bridget:

Okay. What's in your cup?

>> Wendy:

It's just regular old Folgers today.

>> Bridget:

Remember one of our first.

>> Wendy:

It was the first episode.

>> Bridget:

Okay. We were like, folgers needs a jingle. And you're like, they already have one. The best part of waking up is

>> Wendy:

Folgers in your cup.

>> Bridget:

Nice. Awesome.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Okay, let's get right into it.

>> Wendy:

Okay. My goodness. Our movie this week was fresh 2022, currently streaming on Disney and Hulu. Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Okay. This was a suggestion for us by Ms. Bella.

>> Wendy:

Okay.

>> Bridget:

My favorite, the premise. I was expected to be grossed out.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. A weird thing about this movie is that for the first 30 minutes, it's just the intro.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

And then all of a sudden pulls up the name of the movie and starts running the credits, and you're like, holy s***. All of that was just the intro.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

And at that point in the movie, it takes a bad turn. And I texted you, and I was like, do I want to watch this? Because one of my biggest fears. Dating is dangerous.

>> Bridget:

I hate dating.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Full disclosure, though. I am on dating app.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

And I hate it. I don't even care.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

You know me. I can get mine whenever I want. And I don't want a boyfriend. I don't even really want someone to be like, let's go out for dinner. How awkward. Especially the date that we see her go on.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

That douchebag.

>> Wendy:

As someone who used to be on the apps, and I think they're worse now because I did apps, but before Tinder. Like, I never got to that point. Like, I was dating Joel by the time. That was really big. But I did do the apps and some of the conversations on there, I'm like, I've had these. It was not an exaggeration. They just put all of these little pieces into one guy. Right. Those exact words have been said to me before. And yeah. So you start off already. Going dating is terrible for those reasons, but not even the fact that as a woman, you're putting Yourself in harm's way every time you go and meet a stranger. Because statistically, men are the most dangerous thing to us.

>> Bridget:

Totally.

>> Wendy:

So when it goes awry, you're like, oh, this is gonna trigger some things for me. Not that I've ever been kidnapped or anything that bad, but.

>> Bridget:

But not only are men inherently dangerous to women, but psychopaths can fake being normal.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. So she initially thinks this guy is a good catch.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She goes on this Internet date. It's terrible. And then she meets this guy in the grocery store. Like, how refreshing, right? Meeting in person.

>> Bridget:

It was a very nice meet. Cute.

>> Wendy:

It was.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

He wasn't too creepy.

>> Bridget:

He was funn. Me?

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

I live over in aisle 10, you know.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. He was so charming. But that is also a characteristic of psychopaths.

>> Bridget:

Correct.

>> Wendy:

Because they understand human behavior and they use it against you. And he's really cute. That doesn't hurt.

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

And he's a doctor. So she's like, oh, my gosh, I just met a cute doctor. The protocol, like, dream come true.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. What? Yeah. Why is that? Why does every mother want their daughter to marry a doctor?

>> Wendy:

I don't know, money wise, sure. But actually, being married to a doctor, I think would be terrible.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. They're never home.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Horrible hours. They're always gone. They're stressed out.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. Like, unless it's like a cute little country doctor.

>> Wendy:

Sure. A little family practice. I think a veterinarian would be cuter.

>> Bridget:

The veterinarian? Yes.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Oh, speaking of, this is a sidetrack, but we finally started watching Schitt's Creek.

>> Bridget:

Oh, great.

>> Wendy:

And we're through, like the first season now.

>> Bridget:

Do you love it?

>> Wendy:

I'm. It's warm. It's warming up to me.

>> Bridget:

It'll. It just gets better and better and better.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. I still felt like the first few episodes, I didn't like them, but they're changing. Yes. You can see that. They're becoming better people. And I get that now.

>> Bridget:

Yes.

>> Wendy:

But what made me think of that is that the daughter in Schitt's Creek, she dates a veterinarian. He's the only doctor in town.

>> Bridget:

He's super cute.

>> Wendy:

He is.

>> Bridget:

He was hot. Frosty. Yeah. Yes.

>> Wendy:

Okay. You remember. Yes.

>> Bridget:

Yes.

>> Wendy:

So, yeah. Noah. That's the name of her name. Yeah. That's fun. Meets this doctor. They go on a date. They really hit it off. They sleep together the first night, and they're, like, dating for a while after that. But before he decides to lock her in his house, well, he.

>> Bridget:

He tells her he's taking her away for the weekend.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. We should go away.

>> Bridget:

The best part is the bond between her and her best friend. Right. That is fierce.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Molly is the best friend. Staying late at work, doing all this Internet sleuthing. And I was like, that's the kind of friend I am. Like, when somebody tells me they're dating someone new, I'm looking them up, making sure you don't have a criminal record. And I'm good at that, too.

>> Bridget:

And this is like. I was like, who would do that for me?

>> Wendy:

I would.

>> Bridget:

Okay. Thanks.

>> Wendy:

If you ever go missing.

>> Bridget:

Thank you. Okay.

>> Wendy:

You don't send me all your dates, but I could do background checks on them if you want.

>> Bridget:

Awesome. Oh, my God. Yeah. I don't have dates. It Just hookups.

>> Wendy:

No, I'm just kidding. Well, no, I'm not.

>> Bridget:

Oh, God. Let it all hang out there.

>> Wendy:

It's fine.

>> Bridget:

Okay, so you do. So the reason we're bringing up Molly is because she does. Tell Molly, no, it's fine. We're going away. We're going wherever it was. But she's skeptical.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She's only known this guy for a little bit, and he's whisking her away alone to somewhere else. And that, like we were just saying, that can go badly.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

And it does.

>> Bridget:

And just like every movie, it is out in the middle of nowhere and no one can hear you scream. Surrounded by woods.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

And just like every other psychopathic serial killer, he has a mansion of concrete. Of concrete. With f******. And weird rooms and giant refrigerators and. Because why, Wendy?

>> Wendy:

He's a cannibal. And not just a cannibal. He is a human meat dealer. He has figured out that he can sell the meat for a lot of. Lot of money.

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

So he starts kidnapping women because they taste better. We find out later, I guess.

>> Bridget:

Oh, I'm sure they do.

>> Wendy:

I think it's also because the 1% of the 1%, the people buying this food, they're all dudes.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

They don't show one woman eating human meat except for Noah, when she does it. To get out of there, basically.

>> Bridget:

Right. He does find Noah special. And she uses that. She has to hatch a plan, obviously,

>> Wendy:

to get out of there.

>> Bridget:

He drugs her, locks her in a room.

>> Wendy:

A weird room that really weird. It seems almost like he built this house specifically for this, which I'm sure he did because it's got all these rooms that are like fully cement. And there's a bar.

>> Bridget:

Grab bar on the floor.

>> Wendy:

He's got. Had those on in this Room.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

And it's totally cement. And I bet there's, like, a drain he can. Gross. That's what I kept thinking. It reminded me of Saw. When she wakes up in the basement chained to the floor, I was like, oh, no, is this gonna be Saw? And that's when I texted you, because I didn't like Saw.

>> Bridget:

No, that was very disturbing.

>> Wendy:

It was just too much. And I was like, is it gonna be like that? But it wasn't. It got gross. But it wasn't that gory, right?

>> Bridget:

It wasn't bloody.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Even when he had, like, a whole thigh, it looked like chicken meat you'd buy at the store. Yeah, it wasn't bloody. It looked very clean. Unlike Ryan Reynolds in the Voices. Yes, that was gross.

>> Wendy:

Well, Ryan Reynolds just worked in a factory, and this guy's a doctor, so he's a little better at cutting up body.

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. The gist is. And the title comes from Fresh Meat. So what he's doing is taking parts and keeping them alive. He's got one girl in one of the cells. We find out later who is legless. Well, one leg is gone.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Leaves the other leg. Come back for that later, I guess.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

But. Wow.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Terrible.

>> Bridget:

So diabolical.

>> Wendy:

Was weird to me that he told her what he was doing at all. Just keep them drugged and keep them alive, like in a coma and take it off. Like, why psychologically torture them, too? I think he liked doing that.

>> Bridget:

Of course he did.

>> Wendy:

She wakes up, he's like, don't freak out. You're not gonna like what I'm gonna tell you. Course not. Like, and it's almost like he really earnestly thinks she's not gonna freak out.

>> Bridget:

Well, let's talk about his wife.

>> Wendy:

Oh, yeah. We find out later that his wife is also a victim and an accomplice. I don't know if it's like, a Stockholm syndrome kind of thing.

>> Bridget:

I'm sure.

>> Wendy:

But she seems to be happy he's dead at the end.

>> Bridget:

Yeah, but then she wants to kill Noah.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She likes the money. That's what I thought. Yeah. You killed him. But I still want your meat.

>> Bridget:

Goodness. Realizes that she can manipulate back. She knows he's treating her like she's.

>> Wendy:

Yes.

>> Bridget:

Has her come upstairs just a little handcuffed to the chair.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

And serves her human meat.

>> Wendy:

Yes. She realizes that she can manipulate him because one of the other girls leaves her a note in the magazine, and it says, if you're reading this, it means he likes you. She can talk to some of the Other girls through the wall. So she's talking to Penny and realizes that he didn't sleep with any of the other girls. He's not taking any of the girls out of the rooms. And she's like, okay, so this is my chance.

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

And she plays into it, and the first thing he does is human meat.

>> Bridget:

Gross. And she pretends to like it.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She did a really convincing job to the point where towards the end, I'm like, does she have Stockholm syndrome, too?

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

Is she actually changing a little bit? Maybe there was an element of that because she did like him. She was playing a game. She was trying to get out of there, and she was playing him for that. But she did a good job.

>> Bridget:

It's that old heartbreak of that hot guy as a douche.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. It's like, why'd you have to open your mouth?

>> Bridget:

Right. Goodness. So he serves her variety of things. Liver pate.

>> Wendy:

Yes.

>> Bridget:

With garlic and rosemary.

>> Wendy:

I can taste the garlic crusty breads. That looks gross. I don't. I think pate is gross.

>> Bridget:

Anyway, I wouldn't eat it.

>> Wendy:

I've never tried it. It's just.

>> Bridget:

I don't know. Liver. Liver has this gross, like. Like, it sort of coats the inside of your mouth. Yeah.

>> Wendy:

Doesn't.

>> Bridget:

No.

>> Wendy:

The pancreas creates bile, but.

>> Bridget:

Ew.

>> Wendy:

I was thinking, does it taste like bile? But that's the pancreas, Right?

>> Bridget:

No. Liver.

>> Wendy:

Liver. Does it abduct? Okay.

>> Bridget:

Yeah.

>> Wendy:

Okay.

>> Bridget:

A duck down the.

>> Wendy:

I don't know. I'm not a doctor or a cannibal,

>> Bridget:

so I just play one on tv. Thank goodness.

>> Wendy:

If you were presented with human meat, would you try it? What about if you were in her situation?

>> Bridget:

Well, you'd almost have to.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, I feel. I felt that same way. I was like, if I was in her specific situation and I knew that this could get me out of there, I might do it.

>> Bridget:

I couldn't pretend like I liked would.

>> Wendy:

Just the idea, what if it really is delicious?

>> Bridget:

And you're like, I'm sure it is.

>> Wendy:

They're craving it for the rest of your life.

>> Bridget:

That's disgusting.

>> Wendy:

That's why I wouldn't want to eat it, because what if it is good?

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. You'd be like, this is Doug sausage.

>> Wendy:

And then I would be thinking about all the people that I didn't think really deserve to live.

>> Bridget:

Right?

>> Wendy:

And I'd go all, Dexter.

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. Come on.

>> Wendy:

That's a far stretch for me, but it could happen.

>> Bridget:

I am not coming over for dinner.

>> Wendy:

You're never gonn Trust me.

>> Bridget:

Nope.

>> Wendy:

With my food prep again.

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. That's like the. Oh, that was the It's Florida man show.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Where the guy put an ad on Craigslist and wanted somebody to come and chop off his toes and then eat them.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, it's a thing.

>> Bridget:

And the guy was a karate instructor.

>> Wendy:

Really? I don't remember that one.

>> Bridget:

You need your toes to kick, stupid. Yeah. What the.

>> Wendy:

I read a book one time that had a story about. I think it was in Germany. There was this weird trial because this guy, he was on trial for murdering his friend, but the guy had asked him to do it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And eat him slowly. So it's not. Not the only one.

>> Bridget:

I'm so f***** up.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. I wonder what. You know, they say foot fetishes are, like, from being a little kid and seeing your mom's feet and associating that with it. That's what they think a lot of foot fetishes come from.

>> Bridget:

Ew.

>> Wendy:

So I'm wondering, where does that one go?

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. I have a foot anti fetish.

>> Wendy:

I'd rather not see food.

>> Bridget:

You know, in general.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Oh, God.

>> Wendy:

Okay, so back to the best friend sleuthing. She goes looking for her friend, and she figures out that not only is this guy married, but he has a house. And so she shows up at the house, and the wife is pretending like she doesn't know what she's talking about. And then she calls him out, he comes home, and they end up kidnapping her as well, because she knows now he wasn't able to fool her anymore. He realized that she really knew who he was. And you think for a second that the wife is going to be like, what? But then she's in on it. Then she goes to take a shower, and her leg is gone.

>> Bridget:

Yes. She takes off her prosthetic. That's when you realize, what the f***? I love you. I want to eat you up.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. I wish we had maybe gotten a little more of her backstory, but, I mean, you get it. Like, she was a victim. And then he decided that he liked her. For a while, I thought maybe the wife was tipping Noah off, but we find out later it wasn't her. It was a different girl.

>> Bridget:

So the best part. Well, the ending. Okay, so I was at work yesterday, and I saw Bella. And then I was like, what? This is so me. What happened at the end? You know, I was like, did I fall asleep? Yeah, whatever. And she goes, you need to watch it again.

>> Wendy:

You know?

>> Bridget:

And I did. This morning, I Watched the end again and it is very good. Yeah, it's fight and flight.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Right after this dinner, she says, would you like to dance? And they do this really weird dance. What you think of the music? It was all like 80s.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, it was all like 80s ballads. I loved it.

>> Bridget:

Well, my favorite part was when he was preparing all the boxes for mailing and dancing around the kitchen. And it was you're my obsession playing. I was like, you know, that is a touch of lightness.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

For such a dark theme and I

>> Wendy:

think such an interesting viewpoint into humanity a bit that we can adapt to being just the worst, but yet we're like the same every day. You know, if you're a cannibal, like, it's just like me cooking eggs in the kitch. Like I'm blasting music and it's totally normal, but I'm cutting up human meat.

>> Bridget:

I don't know.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, humans are so weird like that.

>> Bridget:

Yeah, you're right. It's disgusting. Okay, so in amongst the dancing, they're flashing too. They had sex and then she bites his d*** off.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She should have sold it.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. I would have thought he would have lost just so much blood.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. I'm not sure that she hurt him that badly when she bit him because he was still able to like walk and.

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, I think she should have went a little harder and actually she should

>> Bridget:

have Lorena Bob at it. Yeah, that Bob.

>> Wendy:

Or done. Or like once she bit him, done something else to like knock him out or whatever.

>> Bridget:

Because he does chase after.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

But she has this plan and she goes, she's got keys. Saves her friend. She saves the other girl with one leg and they hobble her out together, out of the house. But he's chasing. They have no cell service.

>> Wendy:

They're injured as. Because he's been cutting them up. Noah gets her b*** cheeks cut off.

>> Bridget:

Oh, my God. I totally forgot that he took her b***.

>> Wendy:

And I'm like, how is she even walking?

>> Bridget:

How was she ever sitting?

>> Wendy:

Yeah, she's laying a lot of the time. But he didn't give her a donut or anything at dinner. How rude. No.

>> Bridget:

God, I can't imagine trying to sit with my b*** gone.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. And I don't know how.

>> Bridget:

Would you prepare a rump roast, crock, potatoes and carrots.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Aju.

>> Bridget:

As you say. As you.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, I love that.

>> Bridget:

Okay.

>> Wendy:

Gross. But she still can like walk and run and I don't know, maybe it didn't take her whole b***.

>> Bridget:

It's just like just half assed it. Thanks. I'll be here all week. Try the fish, don't try the roast. Oh, I almost forgot because I was thinking, you know, the final bits when they're in the woods running, but I forgot that they came up in the dumbwaiter.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

And kicked his a** in the kitchen, too. That was amazing.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, they're all fighting him in the kitchen with different kitchen utensils, which is a little poetic considering.

>> Bridget:

Meat tenderizer. Yeah.

>> Wendy:

When she picked up that, I was like, yeah. Why would. Why did they have that from the beginning?

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

Instead, Molly just jumps on him, just bare handed and starts beating him. Like, you should have grabbed that right away.

>> Bridget:

Yeah, right.

>> Wendy:

Tenderizer. But, you know, they're drugged, they're injured, they're not thinking clearly.

>> Bridget:

They are.

>> Wendy:

They can barely walk.

>> Bridget:

Desperate to f*** him up and escape,

>> Wendy:

and somehow he just keeps getting up. I don't know, if you got hit like that with a meat tenderizer in your head, you probably die. You definitely wouldn't get right back up, up.

>> Bridget:

No, no.

>> Wendy:

But he does somehow. He has a lot a will to live for some reason.

>> Bridget:

Right.

>> Wendy:

Probably all the human meat he's been eating.

>> Bridget:

Oh, yeah.

>> Wendy:

Super protein.

>> Bridget:

Yeah, Protein. Yeah. Good for you. Oh, man. When he catches up to them in the woods, that scene was practically out of the Handmaid's Tale.

>> Wendy:

Yeah, I haven't seen it. I read the book.

>> Bridget:

But the women gather around and they identify a man as a rapist.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

And tell the women just go. And just kick the s*** out of him.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Kill him. You know, and you get that. That rage and that collective rage, I guess they really wailed. He was so gross, bloody. And then when Noah picks up the gun and she's like, give me a smile. Yeah, Shoot him in the smile.

>> Wendy:

Stop telling women to smile.

>> Bridget:

Right?

>> Wendy:

Yeah. He does it earlier in the movie, right after he tells her that he's cutting her up. Then he's like, you need to smile more like, oh, my God, you f***. You. A woman wrot this, didn't they? I didn't look that up, but I feel like it had to have been.

>> Bridget:

Had to have. God.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. But just the way that they nailed the men. Men and the way that they treat women.

>> Bridget:

Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, and then the part that I loved was, well, they think they're safe now.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

Because he is dead. Definitely dead.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

But then here comes the wife with a flashlight. She came home, knows something's wrong.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. She's been calling him and he's not answering. And she finds her his phone and realizes he's not in the house and all of her missed calls. So she.

>> Bridget:

Yeah, she comes, tries to kill Noah, tries to strangle her while saying, thank you for killing my husband.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

They finally get the best of her. And Noah and Molly are leaning against a tree, catching their breath. And Noah goes, who the f*** was that? And when Molly is kicking her a**, she goes like, you are the problem.

>> Wendy:

Yeah. Love, Molly.

>> Bridget:

God, that's so great.

>> Wendy:

And it has one of the best endings of a movie I've seen in a while. Noah throws her phone and it lights up. And it's Chad.

>> Bridget:

Yes.

>> Wendy:

The guy that she dated in the beginning. And it just says, you up, Chad.

>> Bridget:

You, Chad.

>> Wendy:

Yeah.

>> Bridget:

After telling him a stupid. Yeah. Walking away.

>> Wendy:

And she said, good. He said something like, good luck getting a man.

>> Bridget:

You up.

>> Wendy:

The worst.

>> Bridget:

That is the worst. Well, did we do it?

>> Wendy:

I think we did it.

>> Bridget:

We flick some beans.

>> Wendy:

Okay. Love you. Bye.

>> Bridget:

Bye. All night long.