S4 Ep #94 - I Just Spent 3 Days In A Immersion… Here’s What It Actually Taught Me

This episode is a little different from the normal.

I’ve just landed from a three-day immersion with Jessika Anne and honestly… my brain is still processing it.

It wasn’t a fluffy “feel good” personal development weekend.
It was confronting, eye-opening and at times uncomfortable in the best possible way.

And it reminded me of something I think a lot of women misunderstand about growth.

Most people think you do the work once…
you have the breakthrough…
and then everything in life magically changes.

But the truth is.. real growth is a practice.

Over those three days we went deep into emotional intelligence, fear patterns, and the internal programs that quietly drive so many of our behaviours.

And one of the biggest takeaways for me was this:

Most women aren’t stuck because they’re lazy, unmotivated, or not trying hard enough.

They’re stuck because they’re running patterns they don’t even realise are there.

In this episode I share some of the biggest insights that hit me during the immersion.

This conversation is a bit more raw and reflective than usual.

It’s not a more polished educational episode.

It’s a real reflection on what happens when you step into deeper work and start seeing yourself — and the world — a little differently.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the right things but still questioning why something feels off…

This episode might give you a completely different lens on growth.

Want to connect?

IG - @the_stacey_allison_

Email - stacey@staceyallison.com.au

FB - www.facebook.com/stacey.allison.731

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Happy, Healthy and Healing Podcast. My name is Stacey and I'm your host. And today's episode is a little bit different. I've just come off the back of a three-day immersion with the Jessica Ann on Instagram. If you don't follow her, I do suggest that you do, especially if you are interested in growth and personal development and all the things. So today's episode is going to be chatting about the weekend that was and some interesting key takeaways that I had because, as you know, if you've listened to this podcast from the start, I have done quite a bit of personal development. However, her three-day immersion is nothing like I've done before. Even her content, sometimes I'm like, has she literally got a camera in my room? Like I can resonate so much with it. And I know it's not just me as a business owner, it's actually for so many women. So I'm going to just talk to you about my experience. It is real, it is raw. I've been feeling quite a lot of emotion this morning because we've done a lot of work over the weekend on internal programs and stories and things that I thought I'd worked on. And I was like, hello, old friend. Um, and I just love that I get to share this with you because, you know, there's one thing that really frustrates me in the personal development industry, and I guess it's more particularly in social media, is that, you know, people are like, oh, I've done the work, you know, and that's it. And the thing is, is the work never ends. You know, there is always more layers to pull back. Now, that doesn't mean that you need to keep doing breakthroughs and releasing things. Sometimes it's actually that integration process that a lot of women are missing. And I know for myself, like I was the woman who was hopping from course to course, coach to coach, and you know, searching for that next best thing to fix me because for some reason I thought they had a magical answer. When really it's like, yes, there's a point of actually breaking through limitations. And then we get to the point that it's an integration process. And that isn't fast sometimes. And it, you know, takes effort. It's like going to the gym, you know, which I've used that analogy before, is this work is like going to the gym for our minds and for who we are and how we work and our identity and you know, our beliefs and things like that. Like it does take work because the version you are right now is not the version you're gonna be in the next 12 months, five years, 10 years. You know, if you're listening to this, I'm gonna take it that you are a woman who wants to keep working on herself and keep growing and developing and, you know, getting to this point of fulfillment, because that's really what it is. It's actually feeling fulfilled in our life, even though all this shit is going on externally. You know, there could be the house burning down, the classic meme. And it's like you can hold yourself in that moment. So some of the stuff I might talk about might sound a bit out there, a bit fluffy, a bit woo-woo, whatever you want to call it. And I would love for you to keep an open mind today because there were so many gold nuggets, and you know, there was some really high-level conversations as well as going, okay, actually, this gets to be really basic. Like change gets to be simple. You know, the problem is that we get in our own way. And if we use like the gym as an example, most people can see that. And then though, it doesn't seem to come across to the mindset work as well. So we're gonna get into that. I am gonna find my notebook. If you see me looking down at the screen, it's because I'm flicking through. I almost filled up a whole workbook in three days, and I actually didn't take as many notes as normal. Like that's how many gold nuggets there was. So stay tuned. So this episode won't be like normal. There won't be talking about a specific theme. I may dart around, you may want to listen once or twice, and I would absolutely love, you know, if you get value from this episode, please share it with someone. It doesn't matter actually whether they're new to this work or they've done a bit of work. My message that I got from this weekend is that I need to get more out there. I need to be helping more women. You know, this isn't just about me. I've shared on the podcast before, I have huge goals about, you know, the amount of impact I want to have on women in this life because I know it's not just for women, it's for their kids. And the ripple effect is huge. And I know that sounds a bit far-fetched. However, it is so true. Like, even in my own circumstance, by me changing and shifting, my kids have a whole different life experience than what they possibly could have had. And then that experience will shift their friends and their work colleagues and their kids eventually as well. Like it is incredible. And I've also decided that I I don't know how or what or I don't know the time frame. However, I want this work to get into schools. I sat here on the weekend and I realized how much emotional intelligence needs to be taught at schools. It needs to become just as important as maths and English. This is a life skill. And we are the first generation to actually be getting curious about the beliefs, getting curious about our thoughts and going, hey, actually, this doesn't sit right with me. And I want to be part of bringing it into schools so that the next generation isn't sitting here in their mid-30s or 40s or 50s or earlier and feeling like they're having this mental breakdown in life, a midlife crisis, because they're finally realizing that all along, they've just been living a life to someone else's expectations. And that can be a really hard pill to swallow. And some women will literally just go back to that safety because it's too much thinking about the possibility on how different life gets to be. Because we only know what we know, right? And so I want to expand that. I want to help women see the possibility and I want to help kids not grow up with this stuff as well. As much as I can. I'm only one person, and if I can make a small impact, then I know that's gonna have that ripple effect. So, as always, quick life update. I I don't even know what I've said on the last few life updates. I actually very rarely listen to my podcasts. So I kind of just, as you know, if you've been here for a while, I hit record and I ramble. I do have software now, so sometimes it cuts out a bit of the rambling. However, you it's pretty real and raw. I've got washing, if I unblurred this, literally on my bed because you know what? I 10 till 6 I was in this course all weekend. And the time outside of that, I was actually either had a headache because my brain was exploding, or spending it with my kids. So life updates. I feel, you know, if you are into astrology, it was the year of um the snake and the ending and the shedding, and you know, I feel like that's starting to shift slowly. You know, I'm booking in more events, more retreats, I'm, you know, got all these incredible ideas that I want to bring to life. And I'm I'm feeling like the the cogs are starting to tick, which is actually a really incredible feeling. You know, if we look at life in chapters, the last chapter of travel, like, even though some days I was like, what am I doing with my life? It held its purpose to get me to here to now and to being in this space right now. And I love looking at life like that because I'm like, oh, what's the next chapter going to be? And for us, being here, as I've shared before, is about, you know, a bit of head-down bum up, getting back into the swing of work and finding a way that work feels great and fits our family, and we still get to live to our values of adventure and travel and homeschool and all the things. So yeah, I don't really have much to update. Like on going more and more inward at the moment in a sense of like, wow, I'm actually here. I'm actually where I've wanted to live for so long, and I'm still in this, I don't know, awe or astoundment or what I don't know what the feeling is. Like, I'm actually here. And I know that sounds I know if this was me watching this podcast and I was back where I was five years ago or more, I would be like, oh, you're such a wanker, Stacey. And though I I'm just still sitting here like, how is this my life? And I'm so bloody grateful that I took a massive risk. You know, I went against the grain. I expanded my possibilities beyond belief. And it's brought me to here now. So my life update is I'm just living. You know, I'm living and I'm focusing on being more present with my family and focusing on, you know, aligning things up to my values. And I have a really great activity, actually. I'm not sure if I will get to share it today. However, if I have time, it'll be speaking into the seven areas of life. And this for me gave me a really practical framework on working on multiple areas of my life. And some weeks, some areas get the bare ass minimum. Like last week, my kids got the bare ass minimum because I had quite a lot to fit in before the three days of the course. This week, I can go, okay, yes, I've got an event coming up in two weeks. I've got a retreat in four weeks, I have things happening. However, the pendulum can swing. And instead of sitting here and feeling guilty, realizing that it gets to be both. And this is something like I was so rigid for a long time, which I know I've shared before. However, I would not be able to actually just swing without the guilt and go each way. So that has been a really great lesson. Anyway, I'm just rambling. So let me find my book. Okay, so honestly, the whole weekend, like thing after thing after thing, just really unlocked a lot for myself. And I'm really excited how this is going to impact myself and my own growth as well as my business. You know, I was in the shower this morning and I was crying. I was full of emotion over the weekend, and a a lot was a lot was coming up for me and a lot of realizations. And you know, one of the first things, I'm gonna try and stick to five main things. That's what we're gonna try and do. And I'm going to aim to stick to five things because if you know me, you know I hate how much I hate the word try. So I'm gonna aim to stick to five things. So the first thing that really came up for me this morning was almost a sense of guilt for clients I've worked with in the past, if I'm being honest. Because, you know, yes, I've done a lot of education and a lot of practice and, you know, working with clients. And this hasn't just been since I've done NLP. Like I was coaching women back when we had the gym, doing mindset work with them and seminars and things like that. Like this has been a craft that I've been working on for over 10 years. Like, I think if Jared and I have been together 12 years, I started working for him maybe a year after we got together. So, like 11 years, say. 11, a magical number. Anywho. So I kind of felt a little bit of guilt this morning, and I was like, I wish I had the knowledge that I've received after the weekend to help these women. And I felt it. I felt that guilt and that sadness. Because I'm like, maybe I could have actually helped them more. I know most women that have worked with me have had incredible results or transformation in the moments. You know, there have been sessions and their drop-ins and their shifts and their changes. And for some women, that's a permanent shift. And they get the picture about this as a constant thing that we're working on. Okay. It's it's not a constant, um, you need always the breakthroughs and you need the big moments and the, you know, the dopamine hits of like, oh my God, I've released so much. Like it's, you know, they don't need that orgasmic thing all the time. However, it's actually a practice and becoming part of who they are in their life. And they're there, it is just life. It's not personal development anymore. This is who they are, and their passion is growth. So the ones that haven't integrated it into part of their life, I kind of felt a bit of grief because I'm like, I can make sense why they didn't integrate it. And it's nothing to do with me. Like, you can lead a horse to water and you can't make it drink. The integration process is them needing that level of support and accountability to actually continue to hold their hand post-breakthrough. And so for me, I was like, the guilt was that after breakthrough with them, I was like, oh, they are set, they're doing great, they feel great, they're, you know, making small shifts and changes. And then though, they started to go back into old habits because they were reaching their ceiling. They were reaching the end of their comfort zone or their level of fear that they were in. And so now that I have this knowledge, I'm like, oh, I just want to go back and help them. And I'm like, Stacey, we could just coach them for free. And I'm like, no, that isn't the purpose. The work that we did served them a purpose and helped them to get from A to B in that part of their journey. Now, if they are the kind of woman who is like, actually, that was great. And I know that I need that time and integration and I need that support a little bit more, they would come back and reach out and say, Stacey, I've loved what we did. I'm ready for that next step or that integration process that can take a little bit longer. If we think about it, it's okay in society to see a psychologist for five years straight every week. However, if we go to coming to work with a coach or a mentor who's actually guiding them and keeping them accountable and giving them tasks to keep pushing them to excel and expand their growth much quicker than they possibly could do themselves, it's like, oh, it's not okay to do past 12 weeks. And that's a societal thing. So much of what I realized on the weekend is that even if we have the awareness, even if we are doing the thing in the way that society is conditioned and what's the norm, we're actually going up against a lot of force. And that's why integration takes longer because we're going up against society's norms. We're going up against like, oh, this is the way things should be and have to be and the roles I have to play. And it's like, no, you have to actually come back and keep working at this and keep choosing you and keep choosing your way and the way that you want to do things and the way that feels great for you. So that was my first kind of like moment. Another big drop-in moment that I had was recognizing the work that I do. It isn't for everyone. And women need it at different points in their life. And so for me, I wouldn't have been able to do this work with Jess unless I covered the foundations. You know, we needed to do that foundational work to get to that point. And there's no shame in that because it is a process, you know, we can't just lose 50 kilos overnight. And what I realized is that I am here to help women rewrite the next chapters of their life. I'm here for the women that are at the crossroads. They are where they are now, which is me back in 2018, I think was the peak of how low I was feeling. I had the business, I had the house, I had the car, I had the kids, you know, everything on paper that I felt like I should be doing and I was doing, and I was doing a great job. And yet on the inside I felt empty. I felt numb. I felt disconnected. I felt like no one understood what I was going through. I felt almost invisible. And that left me feeling really frustrated, if I'm honest. Because I was doing everything that society told me that I should do, how I should be, how I should hold myself. And yet I was feeling so, so unfulfilled. I'm there for those women because I have been there too. And I almost feel sad for that version of me who was there, you know, had been through some really deep hardship and was just feeling like, is this it? That sinking feeling in my stomach going, is this it in my life? And of course, society tells you, yes, that's the way it's gotta be. You gotta work hard, you gotta do the thing, you gotta do the thing, then you retire and then you have fun and then you die. Now, I'm not saying that the women I work with need to sell their house, go traveling around Australia, sell their business, do all the things like we did. That is not the point. You don't need to burn your whole life to the ground. However, I'm here for those women that are feeling like that. I'm here to help them see the possibilities that exist in their life. That you don't have to live out someone's life that they've created for you. You don't have to live up to their expectations. You don't have to do all these things. It comes back to what do you actually want to do? And that's who I'm here for. I'm here to give them permission that they can actually create their life, whatever that looks like, to feel that fulfillment, feel that happiness, feel that joy, feel that love and connection with their family, with their friends, with their career, with their business. And I'm here to help them break through the things that are holding them back from that fulfillment. Because I can guarantee if you're feeling how I was feeling a few years ago right now, it's only gonna get worse. And this here, right now, is your crossroads moment. And I'm here to help guide you. And so when I had that drop-in about actually those women that I'm here to help, I was like, wow, Stacy, like that is huge. And, you know, another kind of part of that is that the women often who are feeling like that will hide from their desires. They'll hide from what they actually want in life because they're worried about maybe, you know, pings people saying, Oh, you're being stupid, or that's unrealistic, or you know, you they get misunderstood, like whatever it is. And so they'll actually draw away from any desire that they have and just justify why, oh no, I I can't have that. I shouldn't do that, I shouldn't want that. And it's like, why not? Why not? If you are lucky to get 90 years on this planet, and there was a study that was done that showed people felt the most fulfilled in their life when they were 36. So if you're older than 36 or younger, I want you to take this into account. People felt the most fulfilled at that age when they had the most responsibility. So if you're sitting there and you're not feeling fulfilled right now, and you've got the responsibility, it's like we just need to work on that fulfillment part. And it gets to be easy, it gets to be simple, and you don't have to make huge changes in your life. You will be surprised how quickly we can work on that fulfillment. So that so that was a really big drop-in for me. Another big part for me that dropped in was there's five levels of fear. And so there's a primal fear, which I think most people are aware of, you know, that fight or flight mode, you've just got to go, you've got to run, you've got to survive. Then we've got a reactive level of fear. So this was me again in the past of, you know, shiny object syndrome, always looking for the next best course, the next best thing. If I do this, this will fix me. Then we've got the next level, which is the willful level of fear. So that's about hustling and about, you know, I've just got to keep going, do, do, do, never stop, because I'll feel fulfilled, then I'll feel happy and I won't be in the fear. Then we've got an intellectual kind of level of fear where we over-intellectualize things and justify things as well. So, you know, you might be example, might be like, oh, you're actually feeling sad. And then you've got to sit there and pick yourself apart and intellectualize to make it okay that you're feeling sad. And that's like a lot of people who are overthinking are quite in there. And then we've got an intuitive level of fear where things don't feel right. Now, none of these are particularly worse than the other. However, it's looking at where people are operating from and going, where am I making most of my decisions from? And uh to get you out of these fear loops is to actually ask yourself, where am I making this decision of fear from? Where am I operating from? And then you can start to go into the why and bring awareness to it and actually work through it. It was so interesting to learn also how much people actually operate from the past when making decisions. So if you think about it, we are all taking our past experiences and they're forming our decisions today. And it's like those rose-tinted glasses, you know, that I speak about so often, is like instead of it being basically a conditioning rose-tinted set of glasses, it's a fear lens. And so what lens are you looking at the world with? And is that then causing some of the challenges you're feeling right now? Because once we can work that out and we can work out the fear part of us, we can start to actually work through it and break it down and start to make different decisions. And that's how you ultimately make micro changes in your life to make macro changes. It gets to be quite simple. It's just that our mind, if not utilized properly, will revert back to fear to keep us safe. You know, that is its job to ultimately keep us safe. That's why people don't like pushing outside their comfort zone. And so what do they do? You know, they've got the comfort zone, they've got where they want to be. This gap in between is all this resistance. So they literally go from comfort zone, yes, I can do it, get to the resistance. And they're like, ah, I can't do it, go back to safety. Yes, I can do it. They get inspired, motivated. I can't do it, go back to safety. And it's like this process of this resistance in the middle that it's like, well, what if we could actually just deal with the resistance and push through? And that gets to your next comfort level phase. And where this links into, I guess, I feel like I've gone all over the place, is, you know, ultimately, if I can help women feel that fulfillment, they've got their seven areas of life that they're working on. They know how to move through the fear, move through their emotions, move through the thing. But ultimately, what g it gives them is the power of choice. You can choose what your life looks like. Doesn't mean that the decisions will be easy. No. Decisions can be really tricky. And it's sitting in that tension and that resistance and going, okay, I can hold this, I can feel safe in this. This is okay. This is part of change. This is part of growth. And, you know, a positive growth, growth or a negative growth, you know, leaving friendships or relationships or whatever it is. However, if I can bring a woman having that certainty within herself and feeling that and trusting herself, she can have a choice to have a different life. And that is so powerful. Just realizing you have a choice. Because the choices that we ultimately made a few years ago have brought us to here. And the same, the choices we make today are going to impact us down the track. Like it just blows my mind how so much of this is layered even deeper. Earlier, I referred to like people chasing those breakthroughs and breakthrough after breakthrough, kind of like an addiction to it's like a dopamine hit, right? And what I learned over the weekend, though, is there is that point where you get through the breakthrough and you no longer need to actually release things. And it is the integration process, like I've shared. And in the integration process, it's coming to a point with you're okay with your shadows, getting to that point where you're no longer triggered or have that feeling in your body that sparks up when something triggers you. It's like you can move from, okay, that belief isn't my belief, or that's not about me. Like, sure, feel pissed off, feel the feeling. And then, though, through integration, we want to get to the point where it's no longer having that spark and no longer triggering you because you've accepted that part of yourself. Because ultimately, triggers are our mirrors. Anyone that pisses you off, deep down, there will be somewhere inside of you that may not be the same action. However, there'll be something inside of you that has a conflict with that. So if you're a woman that's like, oh, I have to do the right thing, you know, I have to stick to the rules, that sort of thing. Somewhere deep down, internally, you'll be like, I'm not okay with being seen as a bad person. And so that's where that spark and that conflict happens. And that's where things like, oh my God, I've got to do this because otherwise I'll be seen as doing the wrong thing, or I'll be the bad person. And it's like, no, you're not actually a bad person. I'm pretty sure if you're listening to this, you're not a bad person. You may have made some questionable decisions, like I know I certainly have. However, I know deep down in my heart I I'm not a bad person. And this was actually a real example for me was being okay with being the bad one. Because I know my intention is pure. My intention is to do the best job that I can do and to help people and to be the best I can be. And some days that my best is 20%. And some day my best is 120% because of capacity, external things that we cannot control. And that's another rant altogether because you know, I can only do what I can do. And again, that was a big acceptance piece for me. So if you're someone who's struggling with, you know, these things keep triggering me, this next level of work will be a big fat shiny mirror. But you know, I will trigger the shit out of you because we need to get your system and your body, not just your mind, we need to get your mind okay with it as well as it being okay in your body. And I've learned some incredible processes to help people through that. So that feeling no longer impacts them. And it literally works instantly. If I was to take away something from what I've been speaking about at the moment, and you're someone maybe, doesn't matter actually whether you've done a lot of work or you haven't, is I want you to start looking at your life differently. I want you to start looking at where are the constraints in my life? Where are the areas that I'm make me feel uncomfortable? Where are the areas that I have such solid beliefs that if anyone goes against them, that's it, they've written off from my life. I want you to just get curious about what is happening day to day. You know, possibly keep a journal or put notes in your phone and do it for a week, just one single week. And write all these things down because you're gonna learn a hell of a lot of yourself. And if these things really trigger you and upset you, then that's time when we need to go a little bit deeper into them. And it's not easy. It's hard to take responsibility and accountability and be honest with yourself. However, the shift gets to be quick as well. And then once you're no longer holding on to that negative energy, if you think about it, you're like, oh, well, I can have more energy to put to something positive that I actually want in my life. Because whether your feelings and your thoughts or your behaviors are negative or positive, they all take up energy. So if you've only got 100% in your body and you're spending 80% thinking about the negative things, about the what-ifs, about the I can't do this, they're not good enough, the whatever feeling and flavor you you have in your life. Imagine if we could actually just get rid of that and then transmute that into positive energy and working towards things you actually do want in your life. That is the whole point. Like, yes, my I'm here to show women they have possibility. They can live, you know, they don't have to be a square peg in a round hole. They can live the life they want to live, actually. And I'm here to show them that we get to just move that energy across and we don't have to let this occupy our brain. Like, I just love this work so much. Um, we did a great money activity as well about money beliefs and going through them. We did a great learning about being in the present and actually how going too much into the future or into the past can actually take you away from your goals. So if you're someone who's too much in the future and fantasy, and oh, when I get this, they'll be happy, or alternatively, you're at the past and you're like thinking about all the things that you've done wrong and you know, the associated emotions with them, either way, being positively polarized or negative polarized is actually just creating more of a boundary between you and your goal. And there's a really great, great graph that she drew about it because it made me realize like this is where also a lot of women and men get stuck when they're going towards things. Oh, I really want to achieve this in my career or my business or my life. And it's it's it's learning how to come back to present, you know, which I know is easier said than done sometimes. However, again, having the tools and resources to allow yourself, like I told a client today we had a call, she had some eventful things happen over the weekend. And I was like, give yourself 15 more minutes after our call, because the whole call was just, you know, letting it all out. That's all that today's session was really about, which is what she needed in the moment. Said, give yourself 15 more minutes, go make yourself some lunch, or treat yourself, go buy lunch. I want you to put your legs up on the wall and actually just allow your nervous system to come down and get on with your day. And we're gonna park that energy up until later in the week when you can actually do something about it. And so it was just like interesting to be able to see that shift in her going, hey, actually, I don't need to sit there and waste all of my energy on it. Okay, there's nothing I literally can do until later in the week. So we are gonna do XYZ and pour into her cup to rebuild that nervous system after a large peak of, you know, shit going down over the weekend. Yeah, there's just like so much over the weekend. And, you know, my intention was to come in here and share some key points with you. And I do feel like I've darted around. And, you know, I guess for me, it was just a real, it really opened my mind to how much deeper this runs and how much deeper I get to take women and I get to step into that space of actually holding them in it. Because I'm great at holding women going through their stuff. I am. And this level and anchoring at this level just absolutely gives me goosebumps because I know that the shifts that these women that I work with in their life that they're going to have are next level. You know, this is so much past just, you know, give people positive affirmations and tell them to breathe. Like this isn't fluffy light work, you know, this can be really heavy and bring up a lot. And at the other side of it, though, they literally get to step into their next chapter and be like, this is who I am. They get to be radically confident, they get to feel certain, they get to feel like themselves again. And that's what I'm like, oh yes, we're gonna do this, Stacey. We're gonna make a difference. Because I am, I am feeling really frustrated with personal development and people working with coaches, and I know it's all part of their journey. And, you know, this is obviously something that I need to move through still is that seeing these coaches who have incredible Instagrams and they show that, oh, I'm living my best life and I'm amazing and blah, blah, blah. Like I know Instagram is a highlight reel. And also, I see the women like me who have invested in these coaches and lost so much trust. And it's like the real great coaches who are actually there for their clients and who actually want to hold them through it, not just giving them, you know, a confidence boost and being a cheerleader. We don't get seen, you know. And I just want to be more seen to actually help women go to that level that they don't need to keep buying program after program after program. They can actually just face their stuff once and for all, and they can recognize that they can work through it. Yes, it's a constant growth process, and though they are in their power in chasing that growth. They aren't in a position of lack or I'm not good enough, so I need a coach. It's like, no, I am in my power, and this is where I want to go to next, whether that's life, career, business, motherhood, whatever stage of they're in. Like there's so many levels into this of yes, you know, I get the marketing bros are like, oh, you've got to sell the dream island and do the thing. And it's like, yeah, but where is your integrity? Actually, where is your integrity that you know you're gonna help these people? And yes, you may give them one key piece of information. However, they've just paid$20,000 for a group 12-week container. And really, what did they get out of it? They got a cheerleader. How can you sleep at night? And that's where I'm like, you know, I have marketing bros tell me things to do. And I'm like, Stacy, I just can't do it. I just cannot cross that value line and my boundaries. No, I am not perfect. No, I do not know everything. Yes, I still make my own mistakes and let learn my lessons. Yes, I still sometimes get frustrated at my kids. Yes, I am a work in progress. However, I much rather work with someone who can admit that and be continuously moving through that growth to actually guide me. Because if you're where I was five years ago, seven years ago, ten years ago, I literally can catapult you because I've been through that. I can bring you there quicker rather than someone who is just giving you that surface level stuff and doesn't actually know, hasn't experienced it. So just seeing if there's anything else I want to share. The drama triangle changed my way of thinking. Like in every relationship or even authority, every friendship, every interactions, even the drama triangle comes into play. In one corner, you've got the persecutor, the bad guy, and the other corner you've got the rescuer, and then in down the bottom you've got the victim. And in every single story, or every single interaction, people are unconsciously putting you into a corner of the triangle. How do they put you there? It's determined by their conditioning and their beliefs and things like that. Say if you're in a friendship and your your friend is playing the victim, you know, poor me, poor me. Say she's put you as the rescuer. Oh, you're my friend, you're so helpful. I really thank you, appreciate everything you do for me. You go to the end of the earth for me because you sacrifice yourself for me, that sort of vibe. I'm sure we've all been there before. You know, you're rescuing that person unconsciously. You just want to help them, but we'll do that to the point of you would burn yourself out first rather than stop helping them. Say you actually spoke up and said, Look, I'm your friend, I love you, I respect you. However, I can't do XYZ anymore, or I don't appreciate the way you talk to me anymore. That person unconsciously is going to move you from rescuer to the bad guy. And then they'll put someone else there. And then that'll shift the relationship. And it's like realizing that you can actually step out of that drama triangle when you've got that certainty and that confidence within yourself. And that judgment will no longer bother you because they are just playing that game at their level. And that's okay. Like that's where they're at. And though, why should you keep abandoning yourself and your happiness and your joy to just fulfill that part in their game? Haven't you got more important things to be doing and fulfilling your own life rather than them? Again, it's not easy, and I'm sure that I'd be sad to lose a great friend. However, our life is made up of so many chapters that maybe sometimes people are only meant to be here for that chapter. Maybe that job's only meant to be there for that chapter, that relationship. How can we reduce so much pressure that women are putting on themselves that is pushing them to breaking point mentally and physically? How do we do that? We change their mindset, we change their inner world, we change their inner work so that they can change externally. Because if you just change things externally, you're like, oh, I'm gonna move into state that's gonna solve my problems. It's not. Like you still need to fix the internal to fully feel that fulfillment to shift the external properly. Because the shiny object things won't fix it. So I think I'm gonna leave it there. I I have so much to say about the weekend, and I'm still, as you can tell, integrating and finding my words. And as someone who has invested a lot of money into coaching and to learning and to growing, I can honestly say that this was one of the best courses that I've done in a long time. And if I could marry Jess's brain, I probably would. It just doesn't, my mind was blown constantly. Now, if even if you're not a coach, I suggest you follow her because she has incredible insights. And, you know, whether we've worked together or not, if you're like Stace, I'm ready to go that next level. Yes, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm a little bit excited as well. I'm I'm feeling all the feels. Reach out because I am literally gonna be weaving this into my coaching, my work, my program that I'm building, my retreat. Like this is this is one of those things that is my crossroads. And I can see the bigger vision of me helping so many women, so many mums, helping schools. I can literally see it, how my life's work is gonna have a massive impact. So thank you for listening to my rambling. Please let me know in the comments or send me a DM. Let me know if you enjoyed this episode, if anything dropped in for you. And if it didn't, I just appreciate you being here as always. Oh, that was an update. My little podcast, it got 120 listens, not including YouTube, two weeks ago. Like, by the time you listen to this, maybe it'll be three weeks. Anyway, I was like, no way. This little thing that I started, I was like, oh my gosh, mind blown that over a hundred people would listen to me in that week in my episodes. Go back, as I said, for this week, start to notice all of these things in your life, start to bring that awareness. And if you get stuck, again, you know where I am. So have a fantastic week, and I will chat to you soon.